#bro this scene is one if my favorites like ever because it's so...like...is he lying?

[dazaistabletop]

It's Happening

It's Happening

It's Happening

It's Happening

It's Happening

It's happening

It's Happening

It's Happening

It's Happening

"I am completely sane" is getting adapted on Wednesday

[icarusredwings]

Rewatched Deadpool 1. Took notes.

WARNING: Discussion of mental illness topics, ending yourself, trauma, violence, etc.

Civil debate/ conversation welcomed. Sorry its super long. I think a lot.

Notes:

You know what? We see Wade coloring a lot. What's our status on just giving him cartoons snacks and coloring books? He needs it.

I think we all forget how actually impressive this man is. I just watched this cancer having fucker do like 50 flips.

Whatta man is so Logan Howlett coded.

"Bad deadpool" "good deadpool!"

Deadpool has been helping kids for a while. He terrified a little creep while he himself was a huge creep.

Missed up his words and Vanessa smiled at him. With that "aw hes cute" kinda thing.

When talking about their childhood (whether he's lying or not, hes not about the uncle) and he outdos her so much that she giggles.

The first date he takes her ducking skiiballing instead of yk prostitute stuff

Hes so romantic oh my god.

Theyre giggling and joking like all the time. Personally thanksgiving is my favorite scene before he proposes with a fucking ring pop.

I shouldn't laugh but the way he said "wtf" when passing out

Vanessa instantly jumping to "what can we do? There has to be something" makes me instantly respect her as a chronically ill person myself. Partners who medically defend each other make me so happy because a lot of people divorce their partners when they get "too sick" let alone dont show up to specialist appointments.

Him accepting death so quickly is a sign of mental illness, and you can see him be confused on why shes so upset. Shes crying and hes sitting here like "why do you care if I die or not?" He physically feels so unloved that he just doesn't get it.

"I dont know. Might further the plot. " Oh, so you know about wades little mental tv show he puts on in his head as a coping mechanism?

Also... Weasel.. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS A WEASEL!? Shit sorry wrong movie.

Its not until now that hes crying because he realizes if he does then no more vanessa. We already know hes very co dependent and many people only care about themselves BECAUSE of other people. Which is also considered a sign of wanting to ☠️ self.

The whole "superheros are all lame ass teachers pets" thing is so funny if you think about how much beef he has with the xmen when in reality I have a feeling Wade would love charles in a "Ugh im in trouble with Daddy wheel chair again." COUGH "old bald heavens gate looking mother fucker" COUGH

"Thats not nice" No. But wade is genuienly not nice either.

"This is embarrassing. Please stop, " Colosus said what we all were thinking.

Bro literally cut/broke off his own hand and didn't whine a single time. If you ever. EVER hear this man express pain it is 99.9% his own choice to let you know that it hurts.

During his changing process, Francis says "the only thing that doesn't survive is a sense of humor" wade says "we'll see about that" and smirks.

What also makes sense to me is that he did NOT break easily. They did test after test after test and this man still wasn't breaking. His spirit is incredibly strong and as much as we enjoy joking about how stupid he is, Wade is extremely resourceful.

Its like he has created an alter ego of humor and kindess in order to keep up with the fact he DOES understand how fucked up this world is and whats happening/happened around him but refuses to acknowledge it until he has too. Ussually for survival.

Ive seen theories that he has DID or a type of Scizophreania and the voices in the comics are obviously in his head. I have mixed feelings about it because even his thoughts have thoughts of their own in some cases. Talking to no one is often a sign of abadonment, esspecially in children who are school age and get lonely when taken from their families to attend school. Its almost as if wade never lost his and hes subconsiously talking to himself to keep himself calm/ from panicking in high stress situations.

"But then how does he know hes in a movie" thats the thing. He doesn't. Hes pretending to cope. Main charaters cant die and until he dies he has this mental show/movie going on to keep himself from realizing all of this is true. That this is reality.

Cunningham mentions breakfast for his kids and suddenly, wade wakes up. Hes not joking anymore. This is a "oh shit... I wanna make breaktsst for my kids too... with my wife vanessa" moment.

"So whats wrong with him?"

Diiiiiddd we all forget about scout master kevin? Uncle? Dad? That fact that the oxygen was physically taken from his brain and was given Co2 poisoning over and over? For multiple days? This is the same man who blew himself up just to escape because they told him he wasnt going to see vanessa again.

And then he fought a guy naked, survived the entire building burning down, and now is so insecure about his looks that he thinks he made the baby cry in the street.

Theres people staring at him, flinching away, called names, people see him and cross the street. (So when he tells Logan that he knows his pain when it comes to public settings, hes not lying)

Blind Al is literally the reason deadpools suit is what it is. Why the idiot thought white was gonna be a good idea- See above. Unlike Al, who could smell the blood/ bleach.

I really love al. She's like the adult Toph.

"I hear everything in this duplex." OH, you poor thing.

"The guy that turned me into this freak-"

Al: *bitch im blind face*

As far as she's aware, he looks normal. Which is beautiful when you think about it, but it's funny when you think about the fact that he's so insecure about his face that he purposly found a blind room mate that couldn't judge him.

And they cuddle while he gets dating advice from grammie 🥹❤️

I really like how the entirety of Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Children (HellHouse in the comics) stood up for Weasel. They're murderers. But they're family.

What they did to vanessa was straight fucked. Her fiance up and leaves without notice, youre just trying to work and live your life, you get kidnapped.

Negasonic is so cool. I love them.

Dopinder (The cab guy) is so cool too. I love him too. Kill that guy in your trunk. "Mr. Pool" reminds me of Tom holland spiderman.

"It is not boy band >:(" Suurreee it isn't.

"Wheres your duffle bag?" You mean his dollar general store tree hello kitty book bag filled with guns?

"Cue the music" *no one even gives a fuck at this point when he talks to the imaginary cams*

Negasonic mid battle: Hold on- "Hey Yukio, yeah I just gotta fuck shit up real quick, ttyl?"

"Sure thing! <3 You go baby!"

I dont know anything about negasonic but she reminds me of Gambit with her energy powers.

Like I said. Hes smart when its a serious situation because he immediately threw his katana into the glass so vanessa could breathe, only to immediately turn sappy and childish again when he sees her stab francis with it. Heart hands, is hallucinating because theres a knife in his brain (literally), sex joke. Etc.

Colossus shut the fuck up. Let this man kill him. He's hurt Soooooo many people. A bullet costs less then a dollar. His amount of therapy alone is going to be like *checks calculations* 80 billion.

"Not the nethers" Wade can and often does show proof of hurting but hed rather cut off his hand then let vanessa punch him in the balls. "Ow- owie 5000"

Hello Hugh Jackman.

After not seeing each other for so longer they instantly go back to the fibbing. "I live in the house with 12"

"You live in a house??" Funny guys get the girls. I should know. My wife says im super funny (yes im in therapy)

Pinky promises really matter to him.

Hes such a silly billy he brought out the phone with their song on it. God what a romantic idiot.

[lookismaddict]

Lookism Chapter 439 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made.)

God, I was looking forward to doing this chapter review today but then my day really started off not as good as I hope for. But it’s ok. I just hope that this review will be uplifting for me while it’s being made. Anyways, CH. 439 EVERYBODY!! WOOOOOOOO!!! I LOVED READING THIS CHAPTER. SO, LET’S GET INTO IT.

Um... Jichang? Try him. 😀

UMMM... SORRY JICHANG, WHAT WAS THAT? CAN'T HEAR YOU FROM THE SOUNDS OF GETTING YOUR ASS BEAT... 🙄

Wow. So it really has come to this, huh? I didn't wanna do a Master vs. Student comparison because Daniel was trained by Gun, not James. Although James didn't personally train him, Daniel did get some of his moves from him so he's clearly a beast... Damn.

Daniel Park, a model? 👀 I can't believe I made a clothing brand flyer out of these panels. 💀💀💀

Tbh the Allied shirt that Daniel is wearing looks so fucking dope. 🔥 If PTJ ever drops the actual merch for Allied, I really wanna purchase one so badly. The design is so sick, and you already know Imma stunt on them hoes if I ever get my hands on a shirt. 🤪

He's really just playing around with them, huh? Especially Daniel. 😭

I swear, Hudson and Jay are only in this chapter to provide reactions to the fight. They really do be representing the crowd. 🔥 THE CROWD SAYS :O

This shot of Jichang is so cool ngl... and hot. 💀💀

Bruh he really do be thinking this.

JESUS CHRIST- DANIEL IS GETTING SLICED AND DICED LIKE HE'S A STALK OF VEGETABLES. PEPPERS? OK! ONIONS? YOU GOT IT! GARLIC? I GOT YA COVERED!!! 😜🌶🧄🧅

Jichang looking all sinister, like he about to end Daniel with the most deadliest Karate chop of the century. BUT OH GOD, DANIEL NOOOOOOOOO!!! 😭😭😭😭

*inhales* Bro... you guys had no idea how much I was jumping at that first panel right here. Jumping and running around and shit. My reaction was literally, "No... Noooo wayyyy... Nooooo FUCKING WAAAAYYYYYYYYY... PTJ, YOU'RE LYING!!!!!! IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING????? OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! UI DANIEL IS BAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!" 😤😤😤😤😤😤😤

And not me anticipating a Gun Park memory because it always happens whenever Daniel is in UI... (or at least, Gun is mentioned whenever he's in the zone... Auto Zone. 😩 If you get the reference, ily.)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S GUNNNNNNN!!!! I KNEW IT, WE'RE GONNA GET ANOTHER SCENE WITH THIS HOT ASS MESS OF A MAN. 😩😩🔥🔥🔥🔥 UGGGHHHH IMMA CREAM ON HIM I SWEEEAAAARRRRRRRRR. HE CAN EAT ME UPPPPP AND BEAT THIS COOCH UP ANYDAY. GOT ME QUIVERING SHIIIIIII 😩😩😩💢💢💢💢💢 Also, is he NAKED??? 😳 Bruh. He's naked around Daniel, but he isn't naked around his previous successors. Hmmm... do I sense... favoritism? And why is Daniel kneeling down in front of him. Don't tell me they "fought". 👁👁 Or he gave Gun a good suck. Pero come on Daniel, tell us that his dick is huge. GINORMOUS. MASSIVE. LENGTHY. THICK. HEAVY??? LMFAAAOOOOOOOO OK, I'LL STOP.

Hehehe, if you aren't familiar with this by now-

*N S F W M E M E W A R N I N G*

(If you're not comfortable with inappropriate memes, then just scroll past them.)

This really is my mind 24/7. You should know me by now and how I want this man soooooooo badlyyyyyy. God, I want this man to ram me so goddamn good. Legs shaking, loud moaning, ass smacking, hair pulling, back blowing... AEUUUUGGGGHHHHH. 😩😩😩💗💗💗💗 I just wanna keep it real. I'm not ashamed or sorry. 🤷🏽‍♀️ If you don't want me to simp so badly, then you shouldn't have followed a Gun simp in the first place. 😤

OH MY GOD- OF COURSE HE'S INTO CHOKING. 😩😩 PTJ, YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE. MAKING ME EVEN MORE NEEDY FOR HIM, FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK.

"Leave your body to Lady Death." God, that gave me chills. 🥴HNNNNNNGGGGHHHH EVEN THAT SMIRK TOO. GOD, I'M GOING FERALLLLLLLL. HE'S SO SEXY!!! CHOKE ME, DADDY GUN. 😭😭😭 HE REALLY GOT ME IN A MENTAL CHOKEHOLD, I'M JUST SAYINGGGGGG.

CALL ME DELUSIONAL. IDC AND IDGAF. I WANT GUN TO CHOKE ME. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

Ok I'm done. *sighs*

*E N D O F N S F W M E M E S*

Man... I love psychotic men. Men who go crazy insane with power. Men who are overpowered. Men who can silence anyone. Men who can dominate others. Men who can beat the shit out of anything and anyone. MEN WHO CAN RUIN OTHER PEOPLE'S SELF-ESTEEM. MEN WHO CAN TAKE AWAY THEIR WILL TO FIGHT. MEN WHO CAN SLAUGHTER ALL OF THEIR ENEMIES ONE BY ONE WITHOUT CARING. MEN WHO- ok I'll shut up about my taste in men.

Oh my lord, look at UI Daniel fight so diligently and so swiftly too. AND DAAAANNNGGG DUDE, LOOK AT THE IMPACT HE HAD ON JICHANG'S BACK!!! He for sure is a menace, no doubt about it.

I love how hyped their fight was. LOOK AT JICHANG'S FACIAL EXPRESSION TOO!! HE REMINDS ME OF SAMUEL IN SOME OF HIS FIGHTS HAHAHAHAHAHA INSAAAAAAANE

BRUH, ISN'T THAT THE OLD MAN ON THAT TRACTOR??? 👀

I KNEW ITTTTT BRO. IT'S THE SEOUL GRANDPA. Also, I'd like to point out how interesting it is that UI Daniel suddenly faded away as if he doesn't exist anymore, when Daniel suddenly retreated from subconsciousness. I almost forgot that it took UI Daniel a while to cease due to the drugs that Daniel's other body was on in that room full of shrooms, back in that arc with Vivi's Club.

YEAH BRO, YOU BETTER RESPECT DANIEL NOW. And how did Jichang not notice that he looked like Jinyoung Park? Like... everybody did except for him. Come on sir, get with the program. 🧍🏽‍♀️

OMG...??? GAPRYONG KIM'S DRIVER??? 🤭🤭🤭 DAMN, EVERYONE WHO WAS A PART OF GAPRYONG'S FIST CAN BEAT ANYONE UP. EVEN HIS DRIVER CAN KICK ASS. 😧 Also... bro. Wtf. Does that mean that they fought for no reason? They got THEIR ASSES BEAT FOR NO REASON??? MAAAAAANNNN WHAT DID I FUCKIN TELL YOU, JICHANG AND DANIEL??? IN THE PREV REVIEW, I SAID THAT YOU COULD'VE SETTLED THIS THE CIVILIZED WAY, BUT WHAT DID Y'ALL DO? Y'ALL THREW HANDS. And poor Jay and Hudson. They fought their asses off against some people of Chungcheong and FOR WHAT??? 😭😭😭 WELL, I GET IT. IT'S FOR DANIEL. BUT COME ON MAN, THEY BEEN THROUGH SOME TRASH-TALKING AND SOME INJURIES FOR NOTHINGGGGG. Idk, that just pissed me off. But, the purpose of those fights was to show how much they improved. I admit though, they did improve A LOT and I'm proud of the both of them. Even Daniel too, who just fought with a First Generation King to the point that Jichang had to get into serious FIGHTING MODE. Here kings, your crowns. 👑👑👑 I keep saying this repeatedly, but we better get the full explanation of Jinyoung's backstory or else. Imma go over to PTJ, grab him by the collar, and- 😤😤👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽 /j

Not kidding. Oops-

[toniko]

side stories spoilers

there was only a little bit of LHH in these new chapters? I mean more of him next chapter but I miss him so bad…

oh but seriously hyunwoo is so gilyoung coded it’s crazy, the image of them lying side by side… LHH’s sentiment about them looking like brothers is such a sweet sentiment

otherwise i feel it’s finally time to settle my opinions on the readers

1: Lee Hakhyun (my serious favorite chara of all orv)

He refuses to let ANY reader die, it really reminds me of that Dokja selfishness for his companions but it somehow expresses so much kinder out of LHH idk, i just be saying shit now

thank goodness that he’s slightly better emotionally regulated, i love how everyone loves him as well n he so loves them back (especially that 41!YJH guy…) (damn this kind of rehashes my reasons for loving Dokja but that guy is severely more emotionally constipated so i like LHH better)

he feels like such a reliable guy, he really makes sure everyone will be okay n it truly feels like orvss will have a good ending bc he’s there to see it through

yk that feeling of pride u get when Kim Dokja gets hyped up on ORV, yeah i get that for LHH so hard he’s like my guy ever if i were a constellation, half my savings would be gone bc im busy gassing up LHH. he’ll do anything n ill be like “damn RIGHT he did, my goat”

2: Cha Yerin

theater dungeon cube room convo my beloved, literally a top 5 scene for me and all they did was talk

seriously tied w her brother but i think i like her slightly more because she’s the first reader 🥺 i mean LHH’s biggest number one fan literaturegirl64, likes his original works more.

the story of her n her brother is such a, idk gets my heart… orphanage, siblings? she’s blind and her brother has info dumped orv in audio over 6 complete times to her? amazing (this one of applies to why i like both characters, duh)

also just one of the most skilled fighters, ik orv women go crazy but orvss has so many new top tier female fighters, rlly said “no constellation” just a martial arts goat, she n her bro stood out immediately as the badass readers. her design makes me rlly happy too, i keep thinking abt it please make her real blackbox or webtoon ( in aprox. 6 years…)

the 1 on 1 convos she has w LHH are always so special to me, more than ever LHH is an author to her and she is his reader

she’s living my dream btw (got to read LHH’s old novels)

3: KillerKing (Cha Sunwoo???)

i think maybe, if LHH didn’t STILL call you KillerKing (regardless it’s what you go by damn) then I’d remember ur real name

idk I genuinely have to revisit the chapters to check again bc no one is updating any wikis… no should i do it? anyway

he is easily the funniest new character of the side stories bar none, god damn YJH kinnie, chuuni ass

recent recycling center arc (the animal masks one) sold me so hard on him, how can he consistently be like “no, go on without me!” flips black coat n still be cool… coolest lamest guy ever

jophiel is also such a cool constellation sponsor, some of the other readers have yet to have constellations so im excited to see what they end up with

his idea of surviving also being not to be like kim dokja but to do what you’re good at? it’s so good, makes so much damn sense. amazing.

the duo video game skill is awesome, I just can’t believe YJH beats the really cool co-op siblings bc he’s a fucking pro gamer, like get a JOB

4: Ye Hyunwoo

is that right? you want to be kim dokja but you can’t. this mf sets off 20 red flags every damn chapter but there’s that sense that he will always remain an ally cause he’s a smart kid and very self-aware so it’s also tragic in that sense

oddly enough he feels like an outsider to the group but he’s around really often n i think he really sets that distance himself

i think he’s really gotta embrace that he’s okay with being taken care of and hiding behind someone but is also capable himself. gong pildu literally your dad little man. I think we’re really at the trickling last bits of his general character arc

5: Lee Dansu (Noh Kyunghwan) (made me cry like 20 times)

favorite dilf in the apocalypse. im joking. maybe

inevitable insane tragedy of staying alive beyond his family

his entire like arc got me bawling my eyes out ong i just wish for him to be happy, kindly middle aged man who only read orv to understand his daughter? like what if i end it all omg it’s so… 😭😭😭

my wish is for him and hyunwoo to talk deadass. they should mourn together. hyunwoo knows what happened to his daughter and they both share a really close connection w her

there’s a real time to shoe him in these chapters bc that’s his daughter’s best friend n then his constellation came down too? deadass

6: Kyung Sein (does this count as trans girl)

she’s goofy silly cute… him? i mean it’s the only time we’ve seen a different gendered reader to character deadass did they run out of incarnation bodies for transmigration?

but anyway, i think it’s fun that she just stans heewon so hard she worked out n then is like bros with hyunsung. 41!YJH legitimately values her and the rest of the companions in combat. this round is so interesting bc like there’s the usual incarnations + the readers who got crazy good powerful so the balance is wrecked

honestly she and Lee Dansu were like, the first companions so there’s a sense of fondness that just comes from knowing them for so long

7: Ji Enyu

victim of less screen time bc she’s being badass on her own, seriously. initially she’s all like “haha what if we get put in the orv world there’s no way I’d survive” n she’s surviving the hardest, the balls on this woman. i think my jaw drops everytime she appears bc she’s got new awesome abilities n powers n connections. don’t even need that YJH carry

+ Yoo Sangah constellation, + LHH’s equivalent of Yoo Sangah, + the editor of ORV (its editor…. 🥹)

she and LHH literally got that best friend feel on, just looking at each other n understanding each other

also possessing King of Beauty is unironically crazy, but so so funny. someone who found her own way but still remains a reliable ally all the way through

seems to be getting more screen time this arc PLEASE more of her

that’s the companion readers i deadass can not write anymore in this tumblr post i mean i can. oh wow the readers are so fucking awesome man…

[clare-with-no-i]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank youuu @isahorcrux for the tag! it's been so long since I did one of these omigoddddd

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

37!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

392k. a bit crazy that the next chapter of theogony will put it over 400k. wauw!!!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

publicly? Harry Potter and Percy Jackson. privately? I have an entire folder on my laptop called 'other shit' which is just one-shots for about fifteen different fandoms which I will never publish <3

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

god. this is really making me look at my statistics page which I actively try not to do lol. but it's one long day, I will carry you, color theory, foreigner's god, and growing pains. what can I say, the ppl love the they lived AUs!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to but I'm terrible about it which is a personal failing. I am so sorry. a new strategy that helps with this is that with my WIPs I try to respond right after the next chapter is posted so the person gets a nice lil notif and they have something else to read!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh hmmm. I guess the derelict art of letting go ending was angsty, but the whole thing was angsty. the end was bittersweet. maybe Invictus? ok new problem is I can't remember what I've written

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

foreigner's god! it's always clare why did you write all of that sad stuff into foreigner's god clare why did you write their deaths in such brutal detail clare I made my roommate read this and now she won't stop crying blah blah and it's never hey clare thanks for that nice ending scene where they're just married and lying in bed and vibing!!!!!!!!!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

yeah I do and I think under viking law I'm legally permitted to fistfight the commenters!!!!!!!!!!!! step up cowards!!!!!!!!!!!!

9. Do you write smut. If so, what kind?

god. lmao. yes I do! not often, though, I'm afraid. I tend to write an extremely narrow niche which is just exorcising trauma through sex and personal intimacy. I have no chill :)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

no I actually usually dislike crossovers lol. like theogony is a fusion of the outlander premise but I can assure you that James Alexander Malcom MacKenzie Frasier will not make an appearance. crossovers stress me out and I like to keep my little fictional words separate, if I can. ok edit: on further review I've concluded that I enjoy premise swaps (these are just AUs lol), but I can't deal with characters from multiple pieces of media interacting. it's too much. stay in your lanes, my god. this isn't super smash bros.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not a whole fic but someone basically copy and pasted a bunch of lines from NAR into their story and then a bunch of drama ensued. it sucked and I don't like looking at NAR because it reminds me of it. I still think about the anon who told me about it, though. they were so lovely and so caring and kind to me. I hope they're doing well.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! both with my permission and without. ha ha.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

babes I can't even finish the stories that I'm writing by myself

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

percabeth or zelink! or any doomed/short-lived/five seconds of screen time couple in a tv show or book. seriously idk why but I always fixate on the less important characters

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I renounce this question in the name of christ. amen.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I exist not with writing strengths or weaknesses but instead a secret third thing (stupidly recognizable style)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

see above

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I actually have a WIP where James lives in Spain to play quidditch and he speak Spanish in it :) eso me asusta mucho pq no he practicado mi español hace muchos años pero…sea lo que sea

19. First Fandom you wrote for?

percabeth! my ffnet account is still out there somewhere with ~four percabeth stories that are terrible :) just very bad :) no good :) horriblé :)

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

theogony or foreigner's god! or suze's bday fic but that's because I have never tailor-made something for someone quite like that fic and she was so sweet about it eye can't deal

tagging my internet wife @thequibblah bestie...knocking at ur door...standing outside with an edible arrangement...

[bookns]

Final updates on “end of the line” by @unsuredemigod

AHHHHHH

This. Fucking. Fic.

When I say I went though every damn emotion there is. Shit had me crying in a way that made ME believe I was going insane.

SPOILERS:

Chris dying and Clarisse dying after - bro that shit HIT in a way I didn’t expect

And Jiper having a baby and Jason almost fainting (that was so funny)

- baby Jasper is one of my favorite character cause he’s adorable

And Leo being just the MOST LEO he can get (it was characterized so good)

- Leo being the godfather to baby Jasper>>>

And FRAZEL. The frazel in this fic was absolutely the cutest fluffiest thing ever

- them getting married was ADORABLE and Frank freaking out over his proposal

And Juniper dying and Will almost dying (ho-ly shit I was crying so bad my mascara was running)

- I almost screamed when I realized Will getting killed by a knife - The Last Olympian - Annabeth almost getting killed by a knife

Last but not least - the real reason my face looked like a clown had thrown up on it.

The percabeth

- the Percy “cheating” on annabeth plot point (you see I knew it was fake because well, it’s Percy but tell me why I still gasped when it was revealed that it was fake)

- the then having to BACK into Tartarus

And the mention of Nyx and Annabeth’s nightmares before they went in and how Percy was willing to sacrifice himself even after 5 YEARS of never seeing the other

- the annabeth being anorexic plot point made me cry like a mad man

- the river Styx “never getting away from Me” scene - hit close to home

- The Percy crawling into Annabeth’s bed cause Jasper won’t stop crying and they ended up spooning scene

- the entire Seven walking in on them at the very end

The entire fic is SO GOOD

[joeytalyor0108]

My Honest Review On Metal Lords (2022)

I finally going to make a review of Metal Lords...yay...

To get to the point, Metal Lords (2022) is an meh film. It's not bad but it's not really good either. If you just want to watch it out of fun, go ahead. But in my opinion, I don't recommend this film to a metalhead or anyone. The plot is basically about two "friends", Hunter and Kevin, who get into Battle of the Bands and tried to find a bass player.

First, the characters are meh in a sense of they are not rememberable (hell I already forgot their names lol). Kevin, our main character, is just a basic socially awkward teen who just wants to learn metal to impress his friend, Hunter (don't give me start it on him). We don't really have a lot of information other than he's in the marching band and live in an apartment. The side characters like Noah (the main singer of a trash indie band) and Skip (I think his the main bully) are bland, basic, and not rememberable. The only side characters I like are Robbie (so pure and protect him at all cost <3) and Dr. Sylvester (Hunter's dad) who is your typical religious ( which kinda fails since all of his actions in the film are actually justifiable) dad but love how he is so done with Hunter (one of my fav scenes). The only interesting character is Emily (who should have been the main character) who tried to deal with her mental illness/disorders in her daily life and loves playing the cello. Kevin and Emily's relationship is pretty wholesome tbh (didn't see the point of them having sex as the reason to start their relationship). In the most wholesome scene, Kevin told Emily that "even if there is something wrong with her, she's perfect for him" when she talked about how she hates herself because of the mental issues she had.

Then we go to Hunter...Hunter Sylvester... my favorite character (I want to die by saying that). Hunter is one of the most annoying, entitled, spoiled, and unlikeable characters I have ever seen. He treats everyone (including his "best friend", Kevin) like trash and wonders why nobody likes him (Luckily the only person he treats well is Robbie). This is probably the only one I kinda roof for the bully. When he gets bullied by Skip and his friends at Noah's party, Noah defended him telling Skip to back off and trying to help Hunter. Instead of thanking him, he cursed him off for no reason and told him his band is trash (not wrong but still) but his band will win the Battle of the Bands (Newsflash Noah's band won). He reminds me of those elitist metalheads who just got into metal and shame other metalheads for their music taste. He also treated Emily like shit just because she is a girl and she's "psycho" which lead to her beating his ass ( best thing that ever happened). The only reason why he didn't want her to be in the band was that a girl playing in the cello band, EW THAT'S GAY (crazy right); luckily he gets called out by Emily for having the gayest metal posters in his room. His pops have enough and send him to a behavioral center which is temporal due to Kevin breaking into the place and getting him out with the power of friendship (more of that later). All of this happens and being an asshole according to Hunter that "he did this of METAL" which let's be honest you just have mommy issues (his mam left him and his dad at least two years ago which I could see why). Lastly, his apology to Emily is very insincere and sounds like every youtube apology; at least his apology toward Noah is kinda and sincere and his band is pretty good (stop lying bro).

There is nothing really about this film but wishing they explore the town more I guess. The soundtrack is definitely the best part of the film, maybe because they put metal songs other than thrash and hair metal. It's just that Metal Lords is more of a forgettable film than a shitty one. Hell, this is just an excuse to make a Hunter Sylvester rant post (don't how people love him). Just don't watch this...watch Heavy Trip, Airheads, and Deathgrasm. They're was better than this (if you want to watch a movie which is Hunter as a girl but better go watch Málmhaus (Metalhead)).

(Little rant: love how the story tried to force Kevin to go back together with Hunter and tried to justify it even tho Hunter doesn't deserve him at all :) )

[whatsabriard]

Watch With Me: Hart to Hart 1x11

Episode Title: With This Gun I Thee Wed

Original Airdate: Dec 3, 1979

Why this One?: It has to do with the Harts going to the wedding of one of Jonathan's more serious ex-girlfriends. That in itself is enough. But also, there's a scene in a bathtub that is just *chef kiss*

Favorite Quote?: Jonathan, go to the bathroom. I don't have to go to the bathroom. Yes you do. I do?

This episode opens with the fabled poker game, with Jennifer winning the first hand, natch. (and the second but who's counting)

Jonathan receives an invite to his ex's wedding and he's immediately suspicious because she's marrying someone she hates.

Max tries to be a mensch and is all "They were just good friends" and Jennifer is like bro don't even.

Jonathan wants to white-knight this bitch right fucking now, but Jennifer is holding a royal flush (hearts, of course) so he decides to stay and let her clean Tommy Lasorda's clock.

On the jet to Monte Carlo, Jonathan tells Jennifer she can't win like that or she won't be invited back. She's all "that's what you think it's my house." and Jonathan grumps some more. She offers to make it up to him so they're def having sex 100%.

At the hotel, the concierge wants to give them the honeymoon suite and Jennifer is like "after 4 years do we still qualify" so for those of you paying attention to canon (not the writers of this show, obvs) they were married in 1975.

anyway, they run into Niki Stephanos (with her brother who is using a cane) in the lobby and she's all "so why are you here?" and Jonathan is confused because he got an invitation to her wedding? Oh this isn't sketch af at all.

Brother, not reading the room at all, tries to say that they weren't even invited but Niki cuts him off. Little brother Theo recently had a small accident, hence the cane.

Cut to this character watching them in the lobby. Lookit his little beret! He we Lenny/Lanny on the Humbug episode of the X-Files.

Once in the room Jennifer says it's interesting meeting the competition.

"She never even played in your league", Jonathan says because he's the best husband ever and absolutely gettin laid in the honeymoon suite.

Jennifer tells him "Don't go away, I'll be right back" and goes into the bathroom.

Which is the perfect time for her to find someone in the shower.

This guy is the one who invited them to the wedding. Until a month ago he was Niki's fiancee. He wants Jonathan to stop the wedding.

"I think Niki is in danger."

Niki is also one of the richest women in the world.

Champagne shows up from Alex, Niki's new fiancee. Then the man himself shows up.

This guy claims to have sent them the invitation. But it wasn't an invite so much as a telegram. So they know he's lying.

"Niki is not the same person you knew. She's more mature now." My bestie's ex-husband told me that the first time I met him. He's lucky I didn't run him over with my car and Alex is lucky Jonathan didn't rearrange his face.

Jonathan never liked Alex which is amazingly obvious in the entire exchange.

Out for a stroll Jonathan buys Jennifer a metric ton of flowers and they walk together flirting until they see Niki's true love being kidnapped in broad daylight.

"The princess is captive in the tower, what else can the knight in shining armor do?" Jonathan is going to go try to rescue Niki from the clutches of the Evil Prince Humperdink. I mean ALEX.

There's a whole section of this episode dedicated to Jonathan sneaking into Alex's house to find Niki, complete with guard dobermans. He literally climbs a trellis to her room.

Important date note: Jonathan was dating Niki in 1971 when they spent two weeks together dodging the papparazzi.

This actress who plays Niki also appears in a season 4 episode as well, as a different character.

Jonathan confronts Niki about Paul (love of her life) and she's like 'meh he was a diversion' and whatever.

but the guy with the scary dog has seen the broken trellis so his time is ticking away.

He is on the verge of getting it out of her, why she's marrying Alex, when the dog is at the door.

So Jonathan is alike "trust me" then he kisses the shit out of Niki and pretends he's there to woo her.

but alex is not an idiot and he sees through it. so the men send glares at each other and Jonathan leaves.

the creepy sketchy guy tells jonathan he has a phone call and then gets him into like the basement or something, leaving Jennifer behind.

meaning we get a fight scene in the kitchen set to Offenbach's Gallop infernal

peep these threads tho

Anyway, that brings us to this important scene.

Jennifer wants to leave because they're not wanted. She also wants Jonathan to move his foot. *sly wink*

jonathan is reading marie claire and wants to stay because he's just starting to have fun.

Jennifer says she'll take him home to their perfectly good kitchen and hit him with a chocolate mousse.

Jonathan prefers her strawberry tarts anyway. *badum tssss*

She's serious, theyre in danger here, she says as she throws a sponge at his head.

Anyway, they're gonna give Niki one more chance and if she doesn't tell them the truth pack their bags and kiss the bride goodbye.

Lightly, on the cheek.

Oh, and jonathan needs to move his foot again *wink*

At the cemetery of the grave of their parents, the Harts are there to interrogate.

Niki tells them to go to San Tropez and lay on the beach and make wonderous love. Jennifer tells her they didn't mean to meddle, but that marriage is such an important choice.

Then, going for the jugular, Jonathan plays the "I knew your dad and he loved you" card.

Niki lasts roughly 7 seconds before she spills everything.

Her brother Theo was in a drunk driving accident and he hit two women. One was killed. Alex covered it up, and if Niki doesn't marry him he'll reveal what Theo has done. She promised her dad that she would protect Theo.

Once they're married, Alex gets control of her parents' empire.

Jennifer, that cagey minx, has a plan.

Our girl is stacked in her purple turtleneck. But it bears the question - a turtle neck in the south of france?

Back at the ranch, Jonathan is on the phone with a shitty british accent that sounds more like Cary Grant and Jennifer mocks him viciously. A THING OF BEAUTY.

They meet with Theo and try to figure out what happened.

Jonathan realizes that at 3am on a country road, it was very unlikely there were women out walking.

The one who died was a tourist. The one who was crippled was a dancer.

I've never been to the south of france, but I can smell those trees and they're ALL over the cal state fullerton campus. lmao

they go to see the lady who survived the crash - she holds no grudges, amazingly.

they pretend to be competitors who want to destroy the Stephanos family if she will only tell the truth about the accident. Dancer lady declines, even when they flash the millions.

next stop is to investigate at the hospital re the accident. Jennifer pretends to be an insurance investigator and the doctor is very american, which is lucky.

She sees the picture of the dead lady and asks to take it. Amazingly there's no blood and as she was hit by a car, her hair isn't out of place not a bit. Curiouser and curiouser. The doctor who worked on her is at a seminar and the nurse doesn't work there anymore.

Sketchy Dude in a Beret pops up in their backseat.

They're locked in a wine cellar together.

They're not even bothered.

Paul is down there with them, and they confirm that the wheelchair lady is someone Alex visits on the regular.

So the next day, Jennifer calls for help because Jonathan hit his head. They trick him and dump wine barrels on him, as you do.

"I think the wine went to his head." oh jennifer.

Anyway, suddenly the Harts aren't interested in stopping the wedding, but are looking forward to going and seeing it. With a cardinal to officiate and everything!

they show up to the wedding with the wheelchair lady

jennifer's dress is kind of hideous. it's a sack. Do they hate us?

regardless, i love everything about this cap. It's like the most insane french farce. It has EVERYTHING.

anyway. the wedding goes off without a hitch. I KNOW, what????

but then, the Harts dump the wheelchair lady in the pool

and the cardinal, now falling down drunk, goes "did they schedule a baptism too?"

This lady is supposedly paralyzed and they're watching her drown...or are they?

Certainly not. She swims out just fine. "She's got a heck of a kick, doesn't she."

The drunk cardinal comes up and grabs Jennifer saying the women are fabulous...then he really does fall down.

Guess what? He's not a real cardinal. He's a hired actor.

they stopped the wedding. They're outrageous, both of them, and Niki loves them for it.

Alex is like "if you think you can get away with this..." and i'm like bro I think he just did? How are you going to stop him?

So Jonathan threatens the shit out of him. "If you do anything to Niki or Paul or Theo, you'll answer to me." Then he knocks him tf out.

"You have no idea how happy i am that you tried that."

Since the cardinal showed up, Niki and Paul can get hitched.

Jennifer loves happy endings, so she pinches Jonathan's ass.

the end.

Next up, I'm actually going to go back and cap my favorite moments of the eps I've skipped. Not a full recap, just pretty people looking pretty and sexy with maybe quotables. So stay tuned for that.

[minhyungsluvr]

Mark As A Boyfriend

Dude and bro, both said affectionately.

I forgot where I saw it, but it was a post saying he'd call bro but he says it with love. The first time he called you bro, you didn't even think he was talking to you. You thought he was talking to Johnny, Johnny wasn't even in the room. You realized he was talking to you then snapped your neck to look at him. Ironically hates when you call him bro. Like either doesn't respond, or he does but has a blank look on his face.

Kinda very much affectionate.

I only say kinda cause in the beginning he leads you to believe he's shy about giving affection. But then you'll be lying on the bed and he's laying on your butt, using it as a cushion. Or you'll be talking to a friend of yours in a group, and he's gripping your waist without realizing he's doing it. And for some reason when you point it out he acts like he wasn't touching you at all. Lots of "I don't like touching you in front of other people" as he literally kisses your neck in front of his members.

Very talkative

I feel like it's very important that your comfortable enough to talk for hours with the person your dating. And Mark is so comfortable with you, he'll be talking about anything. Conversations with him are so funny though because the man thinks he's a philosopher. Like you tell him about a problem and he's making the most outlandish plan on how to fix it. But he also knows when to take your problems seriously and will try to offer real solutions when he can.

He tries to his best to take care of you when you're sick

This goes back to me saying he's extremely affectionate with you. Cause he sees your sicks, knows he shouldn't be kissing you, does it anyway, get sick himself. But before he does that he's in your kitchen warming up a bowl of your favorite soup, he tries to be cute and spoon feed you but ends up only feeding you once and feeds himself the next three times. That's another way he gets sick. So then your both cuddled up together sleeping the cold off.

Loves to watch you, definitely not in a stalkerish way

Whenever you look at him, he's already looking at you with heart eyes. The man is so in love he can't help himself. And we love to see it. The type to watch you eat, totally ignoring the plate in front of him. Wipes the sauce off the side of your lip with his thumb. Or you're watching a show and you pause it to rant about the scene that just went off (i wrote about this on my old blog kinda) and he's not even really listening to what youre saying. He's just enamored by the way you say it.

A big fan of all your hobbies ( or at least tries to be)

He sees how much you enjoy taking care of your plants, so he tries to help you with them. He watched them for you one day and you came back to wilted plants. You keep tying to get him to explain how he managed to kill your plants in only a couple of hours, and he keeps saying if he knew he'd tell you. So he gives up on helping you and plays it safe by buying you a different kind of plant once a month. Sometimes he'll buy you a cute plant book. Once while he was on tour, he took pictures of himself with different trees, bushes, and plants tht he thought you'd never seen before.

Serenades you

I'm in the middle of writing a reaction about you asking them to sing you to sleep. Mark is one that would do without being asked. He's leaning against you while you're cooking, then he starts humming in your ear. Which turns into him lowly singing in your ear. I swear to you, its the most attractive thing you could ever hear. For some reason it reminds me of that video where hes like "nctzen this is for you" then misses. Except he's playing guitar and singing. And he does it well. Leans in close if hes singing a love song.

Has an album of pictures dedicated to you and the ugly faces you make

Im talking pictures of you just walking out the bathroom, mid-butt scratch, mouth open wide from a long yawn. His favorite is probably the picture of when you took your first trip together, but you got car sick om the way there. So it's a picture of you leaning against the window with sweat on your forehead. Your sleep, not aware that he's taken the picture. You're aware of the photo album though, you've just never seen it. And he'd like to keep it that way.

[volarenelcieloinfinito]

Euphoria 2x03 Thoughts

Ok let’s see how Cal’s backstory made him all repressed and fucked up

Oh so his dad is more than likely an abusive asshole

Oooh Derek is def jealous

Omg why is them dancing at the gay bar so cute?!

Goddamnit why did you have to make me sympathize with a character I can’t stand?! This is giving TLOU Pt. 2 feelings all over again.

Lmao Rue’s solo is AMAZING! That was so fun to watch!

Fuckin’ A Rue, lying to and gaslighting the people that actually love you ain’t it

Yo but why am I enjoying this Rue/Jules/Elliot dynamic so much? 😂

Elliot is hilarious and serving some excellent banter right now!

No but Rue getting so offended that Jules and Elliot negotiated a secret right in front of her 🤣

Ok so I guess Cal knows who Rue is, which I can’t remember if we knew before now

Oooh Rue & Jules out here getting spicy 🌶

God I hate that they are so cute together but such a recipe for disaster

YES! I am here for Lexi pursuing something she’s passionate about! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

The use of the HBO sounder had me cracking up

Cassie I’ve been trying to defend you but FUCK you are killing me here. He does not care about you. S T O P!

Yup the RJE dynamic is going to be gold until it is not, and then it’s going to get ugly.

Also Elliot wtf did you think was going to happen?! Scat play OMG 😂😂😂

Lmao damn you two, right in front of Elliot’s salad? 😜

Hi Fez! I love you! Thank you for not giving in to Rue’s crazy!

“Hey Rue-Rue” “Hi Cass” idk why but it was cute

Lmao yo has “Oklahoma” ever been said this many times in 30 seconds ever before?

Ok I love how concerned all of them got when Rue said yes to being on drugs.

“Bitch, you better be joking!” The delivery had me rolling!

CASSIE FOR FUCK’S SAKE! LOVE?!

Ah ok that was a fake out but she still obviously feels like that’s real

Theo!

Nate: I love how sick you are. Me: 🤮

Oh man poor Kat, that may have been the most awkward thing I’ve seen in a long while

Rue what in the holy fuck are you doing?!

Is Drug Lady serious? Does she seriously think giving this kid 10k in drugs is good idea? There is no way that bitch doesn’t know Rue’s an addict.

This whole scene with Fez, Ash and Cal has me DYING

You’re right Fezco, Nate is a fuckin bitch

Ash is such a gangster holy shit! 😂

“Dial bitch!” I am H O W L I N G!!!

“You tellin me you had sex with Jewel?”

“You didn’t know that you were recording?”

“I fucked up” “Obviously man!”

“Your son? The one that’s in love with Jewel?” Fez is out here serving comedic gold AND tea!

“What kinda weird-ass father-son shit is going on around here bro?” Omg this scene is killing me in the best way!

“You’re confused? I’m fucking confused bro!”

Fez you are officially my favorite character and that was the best scene of this episode. Hell, it may have been the best scene of this show. That was a Gen Z Who’s on First and it was fucking hysterical.

Wow, I knew Elliot was going to get between Rue and Jules relationship but not like this

Elliot is written so well though. He’s def growing on me.

Oh fuck

That scene with Ali legit made me sad

From what I’m seeing so far, Rue is going to end this season completely alone and either in jail, overdosing, badly hurt because of Drug Lady Laurie, or dead.

Ugh of course we’re back with Nate and Maddy. 😒

As an ending side note, in the behind the episode the costume designer basically said the opening with Cal in the 90’s was a period piece and I died a little inside.

[river-bottom-nightmare]

relationship dynamics

because i felt like it

Birdflash: Their relationship dynamic is like the cutest thing ever. “I’ve noticed that we’ve slowly begun to phase the ‘B’ out of our bromance.” Have done the spiderman kiss and will continue to do the spiderman kiss. SO. MANY. PUNS. They’re CONSTANTLY in a pun war. In a drive thru: “Hey can you tell the guy in the car behind me that he’s cute and I’ll pay for his drink?” “Um….okay sir.” “Your total is $10.59. Also the guy in front of you said, um, he said to tell you that he thinks you’re cute and he’ll pay for your drink.” “*rolls eyes with a fond smile* that’s my husband, he thinks he’s romantic,” but the best part is that it works for either one of them. Birdflash Culture is the word “babe.” If you don’t think they had a bubble machine at their wedding then you’re lying to yourself. Eating junk food whenever and wherever they want,. “Oh my god just get in the fucking blanket fort already.” Where you go, I go. SO MUCH FOOD OH MY GOD ALL THE FOOD SO MUCH FRIGGIN FOOD. Police/crime lab aesthetic bc I have a headcanon that they’ both work with the police department (Dick’s a detective, Wally’s the lead CSI). Photo booth strips. Them being impressed by each other all the time. F R E C K L E S. Stopping halfway through the middle of sex because they just realized something about Star Trek season 3 episode 8 and they really need to pull it up on the tv to make sure they’re right. Re-enacting fight scenes from martial arts movies in the living room of a tiny apartment. Have i mentioned the babe thing because they toss around the word babe all the friggin time, not baby that’s gross, just plain babe along with bro and dude those three are interchangeable. “I called shotgun infinity when I was twelve.” The glass is always half full. Them playing video games at home eating pizza counts as a “date” but also they’ve been doing the same thing for years.

Jayroy: “don’t worry I know what I’m doing” “not even god knows what you’re doing.” Sharing cigarettes. Desperate messy kisses. Constant fast paced insult war that you can’t keep up with if you’re not quick witted enough. “My family had to put up with me but you? You’re the idiot who chose me as a best friend.” pet names galore but like edgy ones not gross sweet ones (my personal favorite is jaybird bc it’s awesome and also canon), very very kinky sex, will murder rapists and drug lords in the most painful way possible without giving a solitary fuck but will go to a nursing home the next morning and be as respectful as possible to the elderly. Tattooossss. Baseball hats. Say “fuck you” as “I love you.” Hair ties everywhere. m u s c l e s.

Timkon:  Classic love story. Like, switch one of their genders and you’ve got a old school romance movie in the making. Photo shoots with a pride flag and merch. Pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks. Tim wearing Kon’s clothes to the point where practically his entire wardrobe except for his fancy clothes and red robin suit consists solely of Kon’s stuff. The Neighborhood vibes. Holding hands on a date at the carnival. Pride bracelets and pins. 90s vibes. Kind of the type of Destiel feeling where you can’t really have Destiel without also having Sam being the overenthusiastic shipper/supportive brother? That but with the rest of the Core Four. Polaroid pictures. Gay and Tired. Flannel + Leather + Denim. they go on dates with other people (before they realize they’re in love) and spend the entire time talking about their other half. Skateboards. A high school romance.

Damijon (aged up obviously):  constant constant constant bickering and arguing, like we’re surpassing married couple status here. “I’m older” “I’m taller” starts out as a biting insult, falls into teasing joke, then becomes something they say with a mischievous fondness and an inside-joke smile. Country + Pop Taylor swift songs. Wandering together through the city. "Be kind to animals or I’ll kill you.” Sitting on the roof together. Kryptonite blades that Jon trusts no one except Damian to wield. “I hate you” “happy to hear it” turning into another inside joke. Sleepovers. Never growing up. “I trust you with my life unconditionally but I do not trust you to get my order right remember the time you betrayed me and everything I ever stood for?” “Oh my god dami I forgot the sauce onCE.” Don’t lie to yourself, habibi is totally a thing. Damian wearing Jon’s varsity football jacket over dark colored/black turtleneck shirts. Damian sketching Jon either late at night in the light of the moon or early in the morning by the light of the sun. Classic dark vs Light. Running down the street tugging the other behind you while holding hands. Red converse + Combat boots. TEAMWORK. “Clark, your son is annoying, loud, clumsy, entirely too tall, hopelessly optimistic, and way too naive. I trust him with every cell in my body.”

[bbyboybucket]

Tease

(Reid x Fem!Reader)

Summary - A series of moments where Reader purposely pushes Reid’s buttons and pranks him, until she finally admits she’s been crushing on him all along. /Reid and Reader have a relationship like Jim and Dwights. (Fluff and a bit of humor)

TW: None? I don’t think there’s anything? Maybe teasing?

A/N - For once in my life, I’m writing something with no angst. You guys should be proud. Anyways, this is very clearly based on Jim and Dwight from The Office, even a recreation of some scenes, also it’s a bit different than what I usually write but I hope you like it :). Also I wrote this super quickly so it might have some mistakes or sumthin.

_______________________________________________

You were in for a very long and most likely very boring plane ride. The team had already briefed and now there was nothing but light conversation few and far in between of what you could possibly be dealing with on this case. You had 3 hours left till landing but you were already miserably bored. However, you being bored at work always ends with you finding the same solution for entertainment. You and resident genius, Dr. Reid had a good friendship. You were decently close to him for being relatively new to the team.

He was a wonderful guy, you appreciated him greatly, but that didn’t change the fact that pushing his buttons was your favorite pastime. You couldn’t help it, really, you were always a jokester and Reid’s reactions to you were always so hilarious. He always took things so seriously, rarely ever realizing you’re just picking at him, which in turn always lead to him getting all worked up and losing his mind over it. It was one of your favorite things about him at this point and you truly couldn’t hold yourself back when it came to provoking him.

“Guys. I have a theory. Just here me out on this. I think our unsub...” You spoke up in the midst of silence, as you looked around and fake whispered while blocking your face with your hand theatrically. “is Reid. Reid’s our unsub guys.”

“That is completely preposterous, I-“ Reid raised his voice as he rolled his eyes.

“All of the evidence is there!” You cut him off with a slight shout.

“What evidence?” His face twisted in confusion, that same cute little expression he always makes when in disbelief.

“Where were you last night?” You said very calmly.

“I’m not going to let you interrogate me.”

“Why? Is it because you’re hiding something?”

“No, you’re just ridiculous and I-“ Spencer stuttered to get his words out, obviously from being overwhelmed with irritation.

“Then tell me where you were.” Your eyes widen as you spoke and you leaned closer to the lanky man seated across from you.

“At home. I was home, I read a book and then I went to bed.”

You were making direct eye contact with him, refusing to break it, except for taking a quick glance at Hotch, who was trying to hide his amusement.

“Alone?”

“Yes.”

“Okay so there’s no witnesses to back up that you were actually home. For all we know you could have drove to Roanoke last night and killed that man.” You said nonchalantly as leaned back in to the seat but still retaining the eye contact. You could hear everyone snickering around you.

“Stop laughing at her, she’s not funny, just...stupid.” He said to the teammates around you before bring his gaze back to you. “I’m not the unsub.”

“How do you know you’re not? How can you rule yourself out? Maybe you just don’t remember doing it.”

“I have an eidetic memory! I remember everything!” His voice squeaked as he threw his hands up in annoyance.

“Well, then you’re just lying. I’m sorry you got caught bro. I hope you don’t kill me next for exposing you.”

“Will you-“

“Okay that’s enough. Y/L/N, you can torment Reid another time. For now can we please be serious?” Hotch said putting an end to your foolery.

•••••

Every few months, Hotch is required to have a meeting about office relations and inappropriate behavior between each other. He always dreads it and so does everyone else. It’s clear that they’re caused by Garcia and Morgan’s frequent banter but for them it’s a small price to pay for their fun. So there you found yourself, looking at Reid as he twiddled his fingers, clearly being as over this talk as you were.

“Any questions?” Hotch asked.

You raised your hand, putting on a very poor act of shyness. Hotch could tell you had some sort of antic up your sleeve, but he let you talk anyways.

“Yes, Y/L/N?”

“I think now is a good time to bring up the fact that Reid tried to kiss me.” You said then sigh dramatically as you shook your head.

“What? No I didn’t!” Spencer jerked up in his seat, giving you a look that could kill which only fueled you further.

You ignored his protest and continued to speak. “I mean, it’s just a lot to take in. It’s a little weird when your coworker grabs your face and tries to make out with you. Especially when it’s so aggressive.”

Reid’s cheeks turned bright red as he panicked. “Stop, stop lying! I never did that! Take that back, take it back now!”

“Calm down, I’m not making a formal complaint. I just want to talk about why you’d do something like that.” You spoke as you turned to face him, so obviously faking distress.

“There’s nothing to discuss because that never happened.” He said hastily.

“It’s okay to be embarrassed Reid. I know you don’t want everyone to know about your crush on me but it’s just not appropriate to make moves on your coworkers like that.” You smirked, barely being able to keep a serious face. “Especially when you were moving your tongue around in my face like this.” You proceed to stick your tongue out and make overly dramatic and horrible looking movements.

He raised to his feet to look around the room as he spoke. “For the record everyone, I do not have a crush on her and I did not try to kiss her.” You looked around as well, to find Morgan and Emily both hysterical from the little show you put on.

Once Hotch finally concluded the meeting, Morgan leaned down to your ear as he walked by.

“I bet you wish pretty boy really was playing kissy face with you.” Morgan whispered. You elbowed him playfully.

“Shut up.”

He laughed as he went on.

•••••

Rossi was like a second father to you, so of course, on the few occasions he’d hang out in the bull pen rather than his office, he always chatted with you.

“You should come down here more often, we are pretty fun ya know.” You said to him with a smile.

“Yes, because this-“ he gestured towards the lack of activity going on around you two “seems very exciting.” His voice was filled with the utmost sarcasm.

“We do plenty of fun things down here, you’re just jealous.” You scoffed.

“Oh really? Like what?” Rossi asked.

“Umm...I don’t know.” You thought about it for a moment. “Fuck with Reid.”

“You do what with Reid?” He asked with a smirk, implying something completely different than what you meant.

You rolled your eyes. “As in, pick on him. Like this: Hey Reid!” You said before chucking pens at his face.

“Do you know how dangerous that is? You could’ve got me in the eye and seriously injured me?” Reid grunted as he once again gave you that completely unintimidating, angry look. Did he not realize he looked more cut than scary like that?

“Yeah, that’s sounds like you problem.” You said as you threw another pen at him. Next thing you knew, he was throwing stuff back and the two of you were in an all out war. You got up from your desk and started smacking him with a case file. This went on until Hotch noticed and gave you two the death stare. You both were holding back your laughs until he left the room and you got one more light smack in before you went back to your desk.

•••••

“Where’s all my stuff?” Reid spoke with widen eyes, stopping in his tracks before placing his bag on the desk.

“What stuff?” You softly said without looking at him.

“Everything that was on my desk is missing and I know you’re the one who hide it all.” He huffed, it was to early in the morning for him to deal with you, he hadn’t even had his second cup of coffee yet. Seeing that his stuff was gone made him realize why for once, you arrived at work before he did.

You spun you chair to face him and furrowed your eyebrow. “Your desk? I’m sorry, I’m confused. How could you have a desk with belongings if you don’t work here?”

“Very funny.” Reid grumbled. “I do work here and you know it.”

“I’ve never seen you seen you before sir. Maybe if you tell me your name I can help you?” You kept up your act of unawareness as you sat calmly.

“You know my name. Spencer Reid.”

“Hmm...” she pretend to think deeply. “Doesn’t ring a bell.”

“Prentiss...” he whined “where did she hide my stuff?”

“Sorry do I know you?” Emily replied, going along with it immediately. You loved that you didn’t even have to ask for her to play along.

You sighed. “Sir, I think it’s best if you leave. This is a federal building and you’re technically not allowed here without a visitors pass.”

“Hotch!” Reid yelled as he made his way towards his office to complain. You quickly retrieved his belongings from a box underneath your desk and replaced them where they belonged.

•••••

You were doing paper work at your desk, utterly focused, when you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder. You spun your chair around to find Spencer standing over you.

“Hotch put me in charge while he’s gone and Strauss is coming to check in on us. I need you to promise me that’ll you be on your best behavior.” He spoke politely, obviously in attempt to obtain your compliance.

“Oof...” You grimaced “I already promised everyone else that I’d be on my worst behavior...sorry.”

He stared at you in annoyance and there was silent for a moment before sighing.

“Please. I know you don’t want to get in trouble with Strauss, so it would benefit both of us if you’d just behave today.”

You didn’t respond, you just stared up at him as he waited for you to say something. You looked down and then back up at his big brown eyes again before moving your foot to step on his shoe.

“Don’t do that!”

“Don’t do thatttt.” You mocked in a high pitched voice.

“Y/L/N, has anyone ever told you how immature you are?”

She mocks him again.

“I give up.” He raised his hands in defeat. “My IQ is being lowered simply from speaking to you.” He started to walk away.

“Well goodbye then, agent Reid.”

“It’s doctor.”

“Agent.”

•••••

Despite your constant teasing, you did have some nice moments with boy genius. There you were, leaning up against the back of a car as you both looked up at the pretty night sky and he was telling you all about the stars. You listened with the most peaceful smile on your face. You had a strong urge to lean your head against but resisted it. He finally finished his rambling and you sat in silence for a second.

“You see that star right there?” You pointed and he hummed with confirmation. “If I were a star, I’d be that one because it’s so so so pretty like me. And youuuu....you are someone admiring me through a telescope because I know you’re so incredibly, terribly in love with me. Just completely infatuated, right?”

Reid laughed sweetly. “You really can’t give it a rest, can you?”

“Nope.” You smirked but your eyes filled with adoration as you looked at him. Then you hit him playfully causing him to start wrestling around with you. You gave up when he finally had you constrained. You didn’t mind that he won this time because you loved being in his arms.

Your silly little analogy would actually be accurate if you had reversed the roles. He was the star and you were admirer.

•••••

As you heard Reid’s voice going on and on very heatedly, you made a note to yourself to never tell him he’s wrong. Even if it’s as a joke, even if it’s about something as silly as a Star Trek theory. He will pull every fact, every statistic, every quote, and anything else straight out of his big ass memory to prove himself right.

You simply stared at him in admiration as went on his little angry rant. His big brown eyes may have been full of irritation but they were entrancing nonetheless. He was hot. For a awkward nerd, he was seriously hot. Spencer Reid in his entirety was pure perfection to you, even the sound of his voice when filled with frustration. You loved hearing him talk, his voice was like music to your ears, but you also wished he’d stop being so annoyed with you. You wanted him to chill out a little bit, to take a joke, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to get a word in.

You did the only logical this that came to your brain. You looked him up and down while biting your lip slightly, then you made eye contact before moving in closer to him. You pushed his long curls behind his ear gently as he still was speaking and before he even realized what you were doing, your lips were touching his. He was tense but after a moment, you felt his body loosen as he put his hand on your lower back, pulling you in even more. You were wrapped up against his tall figure as he bent down to reach you better. Your tongues were gently brushing against each other as he lightly sucked your lower lip.

You’d never felt so blissful in your whole life. It was as if your entire body had been filled to the brim with serotonin. You couldn’t help but smile through the kissing. As much as you didn’t want to, you finally pulled away. His arms were still wrapped around your waist and you were up against his chest.

“For once, can I say something completely serious?” You said softly.

“Yeah.” He replied, as gentle as ever, eagerly awaiting what you have to say.

“Spencer Reid...I really, really like you.”

“And I really, really like you too.” He whispered with a smile.

You gently caressed his face before once again, planting a sweet kiss on those plump lips. As much as you loved to tease him, you loved giving this affection a million times more.

[drabbles-mc]

Closer

Juice Ortiz x F!Reader

Request by Anon: I was wondering if I could get a Juice x female reader, where she wonders into the clubhouse one day, after a long ass day, at the end of a long ass week, and just plonks herself in his lap, cuddles him and falls asleep on him - and there's just some general fluff around that. ^_^ this could be pre-relationship or how the guys find out, for some extra depth to the general fic

Warnings: alcohol, Juice being sweeter than a candy bar

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: I went pre-relationship for this because I am here for the yearning. Hope you like it! xo

Join my group-chat here: (X)

SOA Taglist: @garbinge @chibsytelford @adela-topaz-caelon​ @masterlistforimagines @mijop @xladymacbethx @i-just-read-stuff @kkim120 @multiyfandomgirl40 @toni9 @unicornucopia-fuckers @mayans-sauce @shadow-of-wonder (If you want to be added to my taglist just let me know!)

It had been the longest week you’d had in a while. It wasn’t a bad week, per se, it was just busy. Between things at work and everything going on with your family, you felt like you were basically running on fumes by the time Friday evening rolled around. A huge part of you wanted to just head home, curl up with some tea and your favorite show while lying underneath a fluffy blanket. But for some reason, when you left work for the day, you found yourself going in the complete opposite direction.

In the midst of the chaos that had filled your week, you really hadn’t had any time for yourself, let alone time for the people that you actually wanted to see. That being the case, you found yourself rolling into the parking lot of the clubhouse. It was busy—Friday’s always were. It didn’t seem like things had gotten out of control though. You took a deep breath as you stepped down out of your car and made your way towards the clubhouse.

You walked inside and were pleased to see that it wasn’t overly crowded. The air was filled with music and the sound of a few dozen different conversations going on, but it wasn’t the wild scene that you had walked in on in the past. It felt like everyone was doing the same thing that you were trying to do—recover.

Before you even made it to the bar, the man behind it had a beer ready for you. You chuckled as you took it from him, thanking him with a smile. You pressed the bottle to your lips, drinking a good amount of it in one go without even really meaning to.

“Long week?” Juice’s voice piped up from behind you, and you could tell without even looking at him that he was trying to hold back a laugh.

You turned around to face him, a tired smile taking over your features, “How’d you know?”

He shrugged, “Lucky guess,” he came up so that he was standing at the bar next to you, “Also I haven’t seen or heard from you all week. And you’re drinking that beer like your life depends on it.”

You laughed, “What else can you tell me about my life, Juice?”

He pulled you into a hug, “That I’m gonna be in it for a while.”

You chuckled as you let him envelop you for a moment. He was always a flirt, especially with you. You gave it right back but you tried to be careful about letting yourself get too carried away. However, in moments like that, it was nice to just soak it up even if you couldn’t be sure that there were really feelings there on his end of it.

The two of you stood by the bar for a few minutes, allowing yourselves to have some time for just the two of you. He listened as you caught him up on everything that had been going on with you throughout the week, wordlessly getting you another beer after you finished off your first one. It was difficult not to get lost in the way that he looked at you, like he was hanging on every word that you were saying to him. You always wondered how Juice hadn’t landed himself a partner yet—he was always so sweet and attentive it made you wonder how no one had scooped him up.

“Wanna come and sit?” he offered as he nodded towards the couches where some of the guys were sitting.

You nodded, grabbing your beer off the surface of the counter, “Please, yes.”

Juice sat down on the end of the couch, leaning onto the arm of it. You found your place right next to him, casually draping your legs over his as you leaned against his side. You didn’t make any comment about it, and neither did he, but you could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to say something. He didn’t, though, instead settling into the contact and resting his hand on your knee. You purposely ignored the looks from the other guys as you jumped into the conversations that they were having.

As the night wore on, you somehow wound up completely curled up in Juice’s lap. He didn’t seem to mind, his arms draping easily and comfortably around you. Your head rested in the crook of his neck as you listened to the hustle of the clubhouse. It’d been a few minutes since you stopped paying attention to the conversations happening right in front of you. You were too focused on the steady rise and fall of Juice’s chest beneath you, and the feeling of his hand as he would randomly run up and down your back.

“Doesn’t look like you’ll be moving for a while,” Jax said with a laugh.

Juice looked down to see you completely passed out against him, being held up solely by his arm bracing you against him. He chuckled and shook his head, “Yea, guess not.”

“You still haven’t said anything to her yet, have you?”

Juice tried to pretend that he had no idea what Jax was talking about, “Said anything?”

He shook his head, “Come on, bro. I think it’s safe to say that she feels the same way.”

Juice paused, glancing down at you curled up against him as you slept through the noise of the clubhouse, “It’s simpler this way.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Jax stood up and clapped him on the shoulder, “Do something about this.”

Juice didn’t get the chance to reply and try to argue with him—he walked away too quickly. Which left Juice there on his own with you in his lap. He smiled at you, giving you a light squeeze to hold you a little bit closer while he had the opportunity. He studied your face for a few moments—it was the most relaxed that he’d ever seen you.

In your sleep, you reached and rested your hand on his shoulder, pulling yourself tight against him the same way you would someone you were laying with. He let out a shaky breath as he allowed himself to enjoy the contact. You shifted slightly, your nose brushing lightly against the sensitive skin of his neck as you grumbled quietly in your sleep. If he wasn’t in love with you before he was fairly certain that he was now. He’d sit there all day and all night if it meant that he got to keep holding you.

“Dorm might be more comfortable,” Chibs commented in passing with a chuckle as he walked by.

Juice let out a soft sigh, knowing that he should just stand up and carry you back to his dorm so you could sleep the right of the night. He just didn’t want to wake you. He carefully wrapped his arms around you before standing up, trying to move you as little as possible. He walked through the clubhouse, managing to not bump into anything or anyone.

He nudged the door to his dorm open with his foot and walked inside, kicking it shut behind him to try and muffle the noise coming from the rest of the clubhouse. He somehow managed to hold onto you as he pulled the blanket of his bed down before gently setting you down on the mattress.

Before he could pull the blanket back up over you, he saw you stirring and beginning to wake up. He tried and failed to bite back a smile as he looked at you—your exhaustion and sense of slight confusion was written all over your face.

“You fell asleep,” his voice was quiet but you could still hear him chuckle as he spoke, “Figured it might be better for you to stay here—didn’t want you driving if you were that tired.”

You nodded, still not fully awake, “Okay,” you saw him walking back towards the door and spoke up, “You staying with me?”

He froze, taking a moment to get his thoughts in order before he turned around and faced you, “Do…do you want me to?”

You nodded, “Yea.”

His smile was soft, “Okay. Yea. I’ll…I’ll stay with you.”

You smiled and nodded as you pulled your shoes off, dropping them on the floor next to the bed. He walked back over toeing off his boots before stripping down to just a t-shirt and his underwear. If you hadn’t been so exhausted you might’ve taken more time to gaze at him, but it was difficult to keep your eyes open.

He laid down next to you, pulling the blanket up over the both of you. He wasn’t planning on trying to push his luck—he wasn’t going to close the distance between you for fear of making you uncomfortable. He left the empty space of the mattress, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

You reached out, resting your hand on his shoulder as you pulled yourself closer to him. Your hand slid down his arm until it reached his wrist, wrapping your fingers around it before moving it so you could set his hand on your side. You could feel how tense he was and the only thing you could think to do in that moment was wrap your arms around him and pull yourself flush against him. A deep, content sigh passed through your lips as you all but melted into the heat coming off of him.

It took a few moments, but he finally allowed himself to hold you. He let out an unsteady breath as your hands slid underneath the fabric of his t-shirt, resting innocently on his back. He brought one hand up so that it was resting on the side of your neck, his thumb lightly tracing along your jaw.

You turned your face slightly, pressing a sleepy kiss against the palm of his hand, “Goodnight.”

Your eyes were shut, and he was glad that you weren’t able to see the look of disbelief on his face, unsure of how to respond to such a soft gesture. He cleared his throat, pressing a soft, nervous kiss to your forehead, “Goodnight.”

He heard the happy hum you let out in return as you snuggled farther into him, entangling your legs with his. It was a matter of minutes before you’d fallen completely asleep again, leaving him there to soak up and enjoy the sensation of having you so close.

[greensaplinggrace]

What Is There To Celebrate About the Darkling? (Part 4)

1 2 3 4

He’s calculating but impulsive. Gentle yet firm. Stubborn and adaptive. Just a real mess of contradictions that makes him all the more interesting.

He loves nature. He loves the forest.

Fond of luxuries and nice things. After growing up as he did, I think he deserves them.

Very socially awkward. Introvert just trying his best. Anything that isn’t manipulation and therefore something he’s planned in his head is just a social train wreck waiting to happen.

The way he pushes up Alina’s sleeve when they first meet. This man had zero compunctions about acting completely unprofessionally in front of his soldiers and I think that’s very sexy of him.

He’s constantly tired and exasperated with the people around him.

The way he says “quiet” with the softest voice imaginable and a room full of laughter instantly goes silent.

He had no interest in Elizaveta even though she was utterly obsessed with him and I think that’s hilarious.

Elizaveta: I have a plan to resurrect the Darkling Everybody Else: Oh the Darkling is so evil for trying to come back! The Darkling, who just wants a nap and is sick of this mortal bullshit: Why am I even here? This is such a pain in the ass. I should have killed Elizaveta when I had the chance.

How he asks if Alina “will have” his name like a man proposing.

Has his bedroom attached to the war room.

Constantly checking up on Alina just to know how she’s doing. Never pushing her beyond her limits as she’s training.

Very creative with his shadows and the extent of their abilities. So many of the ways he uses his powers are genius.

His ending in RoW is a tragedy and an injustice. He deserves better.

This old man pouting at Alina in episode seven as he says “please, I just want to talk to you 🥺”

There is a black kefta made for Alina after like two days in the Little Palace. He really was already planning their entire immortal futures together as Mr. and Mrs. Starkov wasn’t he?

His bed is covered in maps and notes when he’s plotting how to find Alina. Also before that, the way he’s poring over the notes at his desk and giving orders is 👌🥵

Him acting like a real General at all is simply amazing.

The fact that he trusts Luda with his life. That they have a whole intimidation routine set up around him purposefully getting himself fatally injured knowing she’ll heal him.

He looks like a vampire in the show and a fae in the books.

His favorite ABBA song is probably “Lay All Your Love On Me.”

Looks composed but that’s only a façade. Is actually an unhinged feral terror of pain and misery.

That scene where he tells the king she will remain in the Little Palace to train undisturbed and he puts his foot down. ON THE RED CARPET. the king’s carpet. and uses a commanding voice that’s just on the edge of an order…I’m surprised he didn’t get flogged for that. IMO nothing conveys the fine line he walks with those in power while wielding his own like this scene. Literally he should just be celebrated for this alone.

“‘Why won’t you leave me alone?’ I whispered one night as he hovered behind me while I tried to work at my desk. Long minutes passed. I didn’t think he would answer. I even had time to hope he might have gone, until I felt his hand on my shoulder. “Then I’d be alone, too,” he said, and he stayed the whole night through, till the lamps burned down to nothing.

Trapped a bunch of Saints in the Shadow Fold like a true amoral disaster villain. What an icon.

His barely concealed amusement and half hidden smile when Alina comes to put his kefta on. The way he finds Alina utterly hilarious and tries so hard to act like he doesn’t.

That small amused smile when Alina jokes about finding Volcra hilarious. Please he’s so adorable 😭

“‘I know what you feel when you’re with the tracker,’ he said. ‘I doubt that’ He gave a dismissive wave.” - My Malarklina obsessed self, vibrating at the edge of my seat: but what does it mean?!?

Mal and the Darkling’s entire fight in the Fold: dumbass on dumbass violence.

The way he stands with his back turned to Alina when she enters his tent the first time they meet and then does the slowest Godfather turn in history. 1999/10 - points removed for a criminal lack of cat petting.

“I may lead the second army, but the king is still the king.” - the delivery of that line. the implications, the history behind it and also the foreshadowing for his plans.

That slow turn face reveal in episode one though. Like okay we get it you’re pretty alkjsdflkj

Confused Old Man Face™ whenever Mal or Alina do anything remotely defiant in his presence.

How he tells Alina to come closer and she only takes the tiniest step and he doesn’t even react.

His little head cock whenever someone says or does something that just doesn’t vibe with him.

Darklina tumblr has now convinced me that the Darkling is a cat in human form.

“You’re an amplifier,” she said. He glanced at where Sylvi was pouncing on another helpless tree, oblivious, and gave a single, frightened nod. How could he have been so stupid? He would have to tell his mother now, and she would insist that they leave right away. If word got out, they’d both be in danger. Amplifiers were rare, hard to find, harder to hunt. Their lives would be forfeit. Even if they got away, word would spread. He could already hear his mother’s voice: Foolish, careless, callous. If you don’t value your own life, show some concern for mine. Annika touched his sleeve. “It’s okay,” she said. “I won’t tell.” Panic crowded in. He shook his head. She slid her hand into his. It was hard not to pull away. He should. He was breaking his mother’s fundamental rule for keeping them both alive. Never let them touch you, she’d warned him. - 😥 I just want to give him a hug all the time.

His strangled shout when Mal tackles him off of the skiff.

His smile when he’s summoning the sun. The expression on his face when he does so. Like I know I’ve mentioned this before but damn. If you ever needed a reason to celebrate him, this would be it.

“Shame, I’ll have to give that speech again now.”

The way he flips Mal over his shoulder in the Fold after Mal attempts to strangle him.

His little lecture on the Small Science to Alina when they’re going to meet the King. Info dump.

“You make it sound so easy.” “A bird makes flight look easy. But it was born to do so.”

When Alina looks at him for guidance on whether or not to remove her veil and he gives her a small nod.

The handhold in the throne room after Alina’s demonstration is absolutely precious, but it’s in a room full of people he should be keeping up a façade for and it’s so unwarranted and yet he does it anyway, I’m-

The way he says “welcome home, Ms. Starkov,” in the most tender voice I’ve ever heard and then goes “ok that’s enough emotions for one day” and then just straight up leaves without even a goodbye.

He has his symbol?? Sewn into Alina’s kefta??? bRo???!?!

Disaster Simp never gets tired of introducing Alina to other people or talking about how she’s the best thing that ever walked this earth.

The Darkling lying: honestly

“I have devoted my life to undoing the great sin of my forebearer, but I am never seen as the solution. Only as a reminder of the problem.” Sasha you were literally the problem. What a manipulative little shit. We love to see it.

The way he closes his eyes and kisses the coin before he makes a wish at the wishing well.

“I think the Grand Palace is the ugliest building I’ve ever seen.” - I love him your honor.

This man has the most intense lines for Alina. Like straight up I would have booked it when he said “you and I are going to change the world”. But then the head grab?! “I’ve been waiting a long time for you.” He’s so intense like sir can you tone it down a bit please I am begging you.

“I shall be right by your side.” / “We can do anything. Together.” / “For us.” / “You cannot do this on your own. And neither can I” / “I want you to know my name. The name I was given, not the title I took for myself. Will you have it, Alina?” - WEDDING VOWS

That scene in the war room when Alina comes to find him and he instantly drops his guard and lowers his arms and welcomes her with a soft voice.

“Am I bothering you?” “Not at all.” - girl you could be stabbing him in the chest and you still wouldn’t be bothering him.

This whipped disaster sounds like the proudest man on the planet when he talks about how much more his enemies fear Alina over him.

His shadows react to his emotions.

“YoUr’E nOt IvAn.” asjlkdfjs god he’s so embarrassing.

Local Dark Lord Sasha offering Alina the throne after she literally tries to kill him.

He gets so jealous of Mal.

Has a great relationship with his soldiers and his men. His men trust him implicitly and believe him to be an amazing general.

When he turns around after Alina puts the kefta on him and looks flustered/has to take a breath because she’s a lot closer than he expected. The way he’s breathless and literally can’t string a sentence together because he’s so distracted by her closeness.

His jokes are absolutely terrible.

GF: *jokes about throwing herself down the stairs to get out of an event* Sasha “no thoughts head empty only Alina” Morozova: haha I’d just have my healers heal you right back up again.

How genuinely touched he is by Alina admitting to wanting to help Grisha and Ravkans.

That scene in Demon in the Woods when he notices the intricate details of the politics in the Grisha camp after one meeting with the Elders. He has the Ulle pegged almost instantly.

Born to be a leader. Born to take care of others. Born to protect. Even in Demon in the Woods he’s protecting people. Even in Demon in the Woods he’s leading them and caring for them.

The way he cups his hands around Alina’s face when they’re kissing.

This man gets so starstruck by Alina walking into the Fete that he doesn’t even excuse himself from the King’s side to go to her.

Long haired Aleksander rights!

Ok I know the wig was kind of ugly but he looks pretty with long hair and I think it would look very good on him naturally.

The way he slams his hands together in the Winter Fete scene and instantly turns the room pitch black.

Literally any times he summons shadows is a blessing and we should all celebrate him for it. They are so beautiful. On god if I ever saw his shadows in real life I would be awestruck.

He asks Mal if he’s okay when they first meet.

The pure, barely contained fury directed at the Conductor for daring to harm Alina and kidnap his Grisha.

He always has to make a grand entrance.

This man is like a bloodhound when it comes to Nina. He is very invested in finding her and I feel like that’s never really talked about.

“I know exactly how she felt. The King’s soldiers treated me the same way. Because they knew- they knew that I was more important than any of them.” - the way he says it, like it’s something he has to remind himself of in his head constantly. a justification for the way he’s been treated, the fear he evokes in others. a way to protect himself from the hurt of being ostracized and reviled. arrogance and conceit as a defense against emotional harm.

Also the way his face instantly changes after that, like he’s said too much. vulnerability. lowering his eyes. shifting his eyes. literally just everything about this scene makes me love him all the more.

Dark carriage rides up to the Crows’ hiding place. Grisha circle the area as Aleksander steps from the carriage slowly, dressed all in black, floofy cloak high on his shoulders. Villain Entrance™

Him slowly pulling a knife out of his chest like it shouldn’t have killed him is hot as fuck and also totally badass. Big dick energy.

“I’ve had enough of your lies.” “And what lies are those?” - Alina, pulling out a fifty mile long scroll of grievances: Well, for starters-

This man is literally just an Alina Starkov compliments machine.

He cares so much about the Grisha and their protection. He loves Ravka and his people so much.

He had an entire cult dedicated to him.

“They would approach him. They always did. But he felt more anxious than usual. He’d stopped trying to make friends in the places he and his mother visited—there was no point when they moved on so quickly. Now he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it.”

Save a Villain. Murder the King.

Openly admits to staging a coup like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

He speaks so slowly. He moves so slowly. Everything he does has to have Purpose and Gravitas.

Theater Nerd™

He knew Nikolai for years and yet couldn’t recognize him as Sturmhond. We do stan an oblivious icon 💕

The Darkling after he gets his ass whooped in Siege and Storm: Mom can you please come pick me up? I’m scared!

He’s here to manipulate sun summoners and murder cities. And unfortunately he’s all out of sun summoners.

Would absolutely get drunk on real alcohol. This man thinks kvas is strong liquor.

Has his wrists exposed exactly one time in the most skin he’s shown all season and it’s when Alina visits him at night in the war room. WHORE!

Was too emotionally slutty and fell for Alina. RIP.

He’s passionate and cold and beautiful and hurt and twisted up in ways nobody could ever hope to understand and he’s stunning.

I would literally kill for this man 🖤✨

[hufflepuffhollander]

off limits: tom holland one-shot

a/n | this is my submission for @chloecreatesfictions’ 1k writing challenge! i’ve never done the “brother’s best friend” trope and i def got a little too excited and carried away! real talk, this might be the cutest thing i’ve ever written

summary | as harrison osterfield’s younger sister, you’d always just seen his best friend tom as an annoying older brother. until, one day, you didn’t.

cw | tom x osterfield!reader. contains language, alcohol, recreational use of weeeed, teenage angst, sexual tension, fluff n’ stuff. 5k words.

For as long as you could remember, Tom Holland had been a stitch in your side that you could never get rid of.

Growing up as your older brother’s best friend, he was always at your house when you were children— and his favorite pastime when Harrison was boring him was to break into your room and mess with you, stealing your toys or running his hands across the piano keys when you were trying to practice in peace. No matter how many locks you put on your door just to keep Tom out, he was always able to pick them.

As you all got older, he grew to annoy you in a different way, blasting loud, grungy music through Harrison’s bedroom walls late at night or eating things out of the fridge that clearly had your name on them. Once he’d started to garner some attention as an actor, his ego skyrocketed, and somehow he became an even bigger nuisance. He dragged Harrison away from you and took him all over the world while you had to sit idly by and love your brother from a distance.

When Tom would come over now, he would talk of nothing but hollywood parties and getting drunk with the biggest a-listers when he knew you were listening. He would ignore you when he breezed past you in the hallway, and even had the audacity to go into your bedroom when you were out and smoke a blunt on your bed so your whole room smelled like a music festival when you got home; and worst of all, it was your weed.

It was sufficient to say you were Tom Holland’s least enthusiastic fan. And it was rather unfortunate, because you were a big stan of the MCU—and secretly loved getting high and watching and re-watching the spider-man movies the most. Okay, don’t make that face. They have a good storyline.

It was a regular Friday night, you were aimlessly scrolling through your phone while Harrison and Tom were getting ready to go pub hopping. Harrison always invited you, but you never took him up on his offer because you knew how flirty you got with alcohol in your system and wouldn’t dare feel that way around Tom. He was notorious for taking anything nice you said about him and rubbing it in your face for at least a week after. 

“You know you secretly love me, babe.”

You hated when he called you babe, and he knew it. But since you’d both grown up, time had done you both a favor, and there was always an air of something you couldn’t quite place your finger on whenever you interacted...the pet name just made it more interesting.

“Hey, y/n, are you sure you don’t want to come out with us?” Harrison yelled from outside your bedroom door, and you peeked your head out to respond.

“Nah, it’s fine, Haz, go have fun. I have enough uni work to keep me busy.”

“It’s a Friday night, nerd.”

You stuck your tongue out at him and smiled. “Sorry I’m not a budding alcoholic like you, big bro.”

He laughed, blew you a kiss, and he and Tom were off.

Only about an hour later, you decided to take a break from studying and light up a joint, turning on your go-to movie for background noise- but were snapped out of your vibey trance when you heard the front door swing open, and your brother’s loud, drunk voice.

“W-why are we h-home, you div,” he slurred, as his heavy footsteps start to climb the stairs. After a long moment, you heard him collapse on his bed through your thin walls, still stammering out his words. “Thomas, I promise you, I am fineeee...”

“Mate, you’re sloshed. Go to bed.”

You decided to leave them be. This was a typical occurrence- one of the boys went too hard too early, and the other had to babysit until they made it home to pass out cold, usually on the bed, or the couch, or on a good day, the floor.

A few minutes passed while you hotboxed your room, feeling amazingly relaxed, until you saw your doorknob wriggling out of the corner of your eye. Your door was locked, so you ignored it. But the knob kept twisting and falling back in place, making the whole frame shake. After a long while of witnessing a ghost try to make its way into your room, you watched your lock turn slowly and click out of place, the door creaking opened to reveal Tom, swatting at the air when a cloud of smoke greeted him.

You snapped your laptop closed before he could hear his own voice flowing out of your speakers. “Tom, for the last time, stop picking my fucking lock!” You beamed your nearest pillow at him—which he caught before it struck him—and he threw it back, hitting you square in the face. Of course.

He flashed a cocky smile. “Why? It’s so easy.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m serious! I could’ve been naked or something!”

He just stood in the doorframe, giving you a once-over in your thin cotton t-shirt and yoga pants, and kept that smug expression locked on his face. 

“Ew, Tom, you’re disgusting. Get out.”

He decidedly did not get out, instead closing the door behind him and hopping up next to you on your bed, the divot in your mattress leaving your bodies pressed much too close together. You were met with a strong whiff of his cologne and the gin he must’ve been drinking earlier. “I’ll take that,” he muttered as he lifted your joint out of your fingers and took a puff, sucking his breath in as his lungs filled. 

Your stomach filled with a dull fire and you narrowed your eyes. “Do you mind?”

He turned to face you and blew a big puff of smoke directly into your face, the notorious smirk making its reappearance. “Not at all, thanks for asking though.”

You groaned aloud. “What are you doing in here?” he took another draw and handed you back what was rightfully yours, smoke dissipating from his mouth as he spoke.

“Haz is pissed and I’m bored.”

You relit the bud and inhaled for a long while, figuring you’d need to be pretty intoxicated to not smack him in the face if he tried to talk again. “Well, go be bored somewhere else. I was busy.”

He cocked an eyebrow at you and reached across your lap for your computer. “Doing what?” 

Oh shit. “Dude, can you not-?!” you yelped, but he had swiped it too quickly out of your grasp, and opened it up to find himself paused on your screen. You laid back on your bed so he couldn’t see your cheeks now flushed with embarrassment and grabbed your lighter from your nightstand. It was going to be a long evening.

He leaned himself over to catch your eye and had the stupidest, most prideful look plastered across his face. “Gotcha.”

You punched him in the arm as he erupted into laughter—but the anger inside you had been dulled by the weed and replaced with a childlike silliness—and you started to giggle, too. You looked up into his eyes, pupils now wildly dilated and tinted red around the edges.

“Shut up, Tom, you’re high,” you said in between chuckles.

“Yeah? Well so are you!”

You poked fun at each other for a while, suddenly in a mutually fantastic mood. You knew in the back of your mind that none of this would be happening if you hadn’t gotten stoned together, but you enjoyed the warm company anyway. 

“Well, you gotta finish it, don’t you?” he said, settling back down and fixating the computer on his lap so you could both see it.

“You really want to watch your own movie?”

“Doll, it’s my favorite thing to do.” he smiled at you.

“God, you’re the worst.” you felt some butterflies make an entrance in your chest that had never been there before.

He pressed play and cozied up on your bed, lying back against the wall with his arm lazily draped behind you. You pulled a blanket up onto your lap and had really no choice but to lean on him for support, neither of you admitting out loud that you were full on cuddling and not angry about it.

“Hey, aren’t you gonna share?” he whined, pulling at the corner of your blanket.

“Get your own,” you responded, internally high-fiving yourself for finally getting the chance to sass him back. Sure, you had your head comfortably resting on his shoulder, but that didn’t mean you were suddenly friends.

You let the movie play, the two of you blowing through the joint until it was a dwindling nub. The scene where Peter has his big kiss with MJ started, and you stifled a snigger as their lips met on the screen.

Tom had clear offense laced through his words. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” you shrugged.

He sat up to look at you, eyebrows knit together in an angry pout. “Tell me.”

“I just...feel bad for Zendaya, that’s all.” you covered your mouth to keep from laughing, and his eyes rolled so far back into his head you were sure they’d be stuck that way forever.

“You’re such a brat,” he started, his ego finding its old place back in his voice. “I’m an amazing kisser. She told me herself.”

You looked away from him, taking a heavy exhale. “Yeah, whatever, dude.”

He sat even more upright and paused the movie, taking hold of your shoulder to make you turn to him. “What, you don’t believe me?”

You realized then how physically close you had gotten, as you could feel the syllables of his words in his breath hitting your face. He was doing that thing boys do, when they’re thinking about kissing you but don’t- their stares going back and forth between your lips and your eyes in a not so subtle way. It freaked you out to see him that close and personal, and you whispered back exactly what you knew would irk him the most.

“Nope.”

He moved his face impossibly closer to yours, and you felt his soft lips lightly brush over your own. You weren’t sure if this was real, or just a high hallucination, but you didn’t move away. This was entirely uncharted territory.

“Tooommmm!” you heard Harrison yell out from the other side of the wall. “Where are yooouuu?! I’m so thirsty!” Tom immediately jerked his head away from you and shook himself out of the moment. You brought your hand up to your cheek and shuddered at how hot it had become- your own body was betraying you.

“God, he’s gonna be the death of me,” Tom said, shoving himself off the bed and walking out of your room, glancing back at you for a moment and then closing the door behind him. Just like that, he was gone, and you were left trapped in your own psyche wondering what the hell had just happened.

Over the course of the next week, things has become exponentially weirder between you and Tom. He seemed to be spending much more time at your house than he normally did, even sleeping a few nights there instead of driving the five minutes back to be in his own bed. One unsuspecting morning, you knocked on your bathroom door, annoyed that it had been shut for such a long time. 

“Haz, if you use up all the hot water again, I’m gonna kill you,” you said in between knocks. You were taken by surprise when it swung open, steam billowing out into the cool air.

“Whoops,” you heard a voice say, immediately realizing it wasn’t your brother. You took a step backward to see Tom emerge, wearing nothing but a towel loosely wrapped around his waist. His hair was damp and clinging to his forehead, and he looked like some glowing magazine model. 

“Uh, sorry,” you stammered, accidentally inhaling the yummy smell of his soap and shampoo emanating off of his skin.

He noticed you eyeing him and a sly grin appeared as he rolled his bottom lip under his teeth. “Shower’s all yours, babe,” he said, bumping your shoulder with his own as he walked away. You were stuck in place and didn’t see him glancing back at you as he wandered down the hallway. 

Another day after that, Tom and Harrison were looking for a certain record to play, but it was nowhere to be found. “It might be in y/n’s room,” Harrison said, sitting back in his lounge chair. “Wanna go grab it?”

Tom coughed. “Why do I have to get it?”

“Because I’m comfortable.”

Tom felt a mix of annoyance and nerves in his chest as he walked the short distance down the hallway to your room where the door was already cracked open. He invited himself in—excitement faltering a little when he saw you weren’t in your usual spot on your bed—and started to sift through your bookshelves.

You had been in the bathroom getting dressed after your shower, but realized you left your shirt in your closet- and seeing that Harrison’s bedroom door was still shut, you figured it was safe to run across the landing into your room without anyone seeing you. In just a bra and spandex shorts that left little to the imagination, you swiftly made your way across the hall and walked through your door that was still open a crack to see Tom kneeled down as he shuffled through your record collection.

He heard your small gasp when you entered to find him, and swiveled around to you standing only a few feet away from him in the least amount of clothing he’d ever seen on you. He abruptly stood up but didn’t move, eyes sparkling as they rolled down your body.

“What the fuck! Why are you always in my room?!” You were too shocked to think about finding something to cover yourself with, and put your hands over your face, trying not to die of embarrassment. Tom remained glued to his place on your carpet, clearly at a loss for words.

“Tom, can you leave please-”

“Right, yeah, okay, uh, bye-” he hurried out of your room, swinging the door almost shut but leaving just a crack so he could speak into it.

“...I like your shorts.”

“TOM!”

He chuckled and closed the door, and you slumped against the wall, still holding your head in your hands. What was this sudden hold he had over you? And why did you love the way that he was staring at you?

That night, you had a big paper to complete, and you were perched in your bed typing away as it got dark. In between two songs on your playlist, you heard the familiar jiggle of a doorknob. Looking up over your screen, you watched as the metal turned in its socket, and heard a soft “crushed it” as the lock undid itself. Your door opened steadily and slowly, a familiar face peeking in at you.

“Hi.”

“Oh sweet jesus,” you mumbled.

“You busy?”

“Clearly.”

“Cool.” Tom let himself into your room, shutting the door behind him and sauntering over to your bed, sitting down next to you, bouncing like a little kid and singing his words. “Whatcha doooin’?”

“Homework,” you said, continuing to type and trying your best to ignore the way the sound of his voice was waking up something electric inside of you. He leaned into your body to peer at your computer screen, pretending to be interested in whatever you were writing about. His elbow got in the way of your hands, and you had to stop typing.

“Thomas, is there something I can help you with?”

“Haz is asleep,” he said, resting his head on your shoulder like it hadn’t been a week since your almost-kiss and you hadn’t been actively avoiding bringing it up.

You felt jittery. “And?”

He gently pushed your hands away from the keyboard and closed your laptop shut, giving you a sheepish smile. “Wanna get high?”

Honestly, you did.

You turned on your lamp and turned off the overhead light, put on that record he finally found, lighting a candle and then another hand-rolled blunt. This time, Tom sat upright with you perpendicular to him, your legs swung over his lap. When he made a joke, he’d give your leg a little squeeze- and whether it was purposeful or not, you were filled with schoolgirl nerves every time it happened.

All the angsty barriers built up over years of a sibling-like rivalry had come down between the two of you as you smoked together; you suddenly found all of his bad jokes funny, and he couldn’t peel his eyes away from the cute way you scrunched your nose when you laughed. Every time you exchanged the blunt, you couldn’t help but think about how his lips had just been on it a moment before yours. The night came and went, and you ended up falling asleep wrapped in his arms as he dozed off with his chin pressed to your forehead.

You both woke up at the same time in the dead of night, unsure of how late it had gotten. Still nestled into each other, you exchanged sleepy glances and no words, taking a moment to realize the position you had put yourselves in. 

Tom grazed your jawline with the back of his hand and lifted up your chin with his thumb. You let your eyes flutter shut and he kissed you in the dark for one long, everlasting moment. He pulled back from you hesitantly, leaving you breathless. Did that really just happen?

“We...we can’t,” he whispered, his words tinged with sadness.

Your heart broke for him just hearing his voice. “Why not?”

“You’re my best friend’s little sister, y/n.”

“And you’re my brother’s best friend. So what?” you were almost upset with yourself for being so vulnerable; so visibly pining after him.

“So, you’re off limits,” he said, resting his forehead against yours. 

“Says who?” 

That prompted Tom to meet your gaze again, and this time you took initiative, moving your face to his and taking his bottom lip in between yours. He took a sharp inhale as you kissed him and seemed to let all inhibition go as he put his arms around your back and pressed you into him hard, all of his pent up feelings for you suddenly flowing out of him. He kissed you in a needy, desperate kind of way, and you loved every second of it. You ran your fingers through his hair, traced his jawline, using your hands to feel every bit of him that you couldn’t before. The strangest part of it all was how natural it felt- like you had been practicing for this very moment all your lives. 

Your record had stopped spinning a while ago, the room now filled with just the breathy noises of your kisses, your contented hums and his tiny mews when you bit his lips. You were both still barely lucid, and after countless minutes of nothing but innocent kisses, you were on the brink of falling asleep again, serotonin whisking you away into dreams. Tom sighed into you, and clasped his hand around yours.

“I have to go.”

“What? Why?” you felt your heart preeminently sink in your chest; like you should’ve known this was too good to last.

“I don’t want him to wake up and find us here,” he trailed off, staring down at your intertwined fingers fiddling together.

“So that’s it?” you tried to swallow back the sudden upwell of feelings inside you.

“No, no...” his eyes filled with some type of emotional strain you’d never seen. “I- I don’t want this to be it. But I don’t want things to get...messy.”

Unfortunately, you couldn’t blame him, because you understood.

“Can you come back tomorrow night?” you whispered, very not ready to let his spot next to you grow cold.

“I don’t know...”

You looked up at him doe-eyed, cooing. “Please?”

He nodded, looking away from you before he completely caved and stayed there forever. “I’ll come back.”

He pressed one last kiss onto your lips and slowly got up, reluctantly letting go of your hand as he left your room. “Goodnight, babe.”

Hearing him call you babe, finally free of demeaning sarcasm, made your heart soar. 

“Goodnight, Tom.”

The door shut and you were left alone, the stillness of your room sticking out in sharp contrast with how quickly your heart was racing.

For the next few nights, Tom spent the evenings at your house with Harrison, waiting until he fell asleep to make his way next door to you. You’d smoke together, watch his movies—and in heated moments got a little handsy—but you never went past kissing, though you both desperately wanted to. It was too risky having your brother right next door; and you knew all too well how paper thin your walls were. But in those secretive hours after solar midnight, just being able to exist next to Tom and letting him hold you, you were the happiest you could ever remember being. The second night he left your room to let you sleep, he placed a light kiss on your forehead after he stood up that made the whole thing feel a little too...real.

The next day, you walked into the kitchen and found Harrison at the fridge. You were in a great mood for obvious reasons but couldn’t let it show. “Hey, got any fun plans today?”

He turned around after shoving a handful of grapes in his mouth. “Nope, got some admin stuff to do and gonna turn in early.”

“Oh, Tom isn’t coming over?”

“No, I told him to take a night off. He’s been smothering me, y’know?” he laughed and ate a few more grapes, but then turned to you, confused. “Since when do you care if he’s coming over?”

You swallowed, unsure of what to say. “Just want to know if I need to stay out of the way,” you faked a laugh and blinked hard, hoping he wasn’t paying too much attention to your facial expressions.

“Uh, alright then. You two are always so fuckin’ weird around each other.” He seemed to feel that was a good way to end your exchange and walked out of the kitchen, throwing a grape at you.

You rolled your eyes at your brother, but then felt the sadness bubble up upon registering that you weren’t going to see Tom tonight. But really, how long did you think you could keep this up? The feelings you were developing for him scared you, you didn’t know what to make of them; all you knew was that your days suddenly seemed much grayer without him.

Nighttime came around, and you couldn’t sleep, so you did the unthinkable and sent Tom a text. Your thumb shook as you hit send, knowing that there was now tangible evidence of the connection you’d developed, that it wasn’t just some invention of your mind.

hey, are you awake?

T: yeah, can’t sleep. you?

obviously, i just texted you.

T: shut it.

A minute passed...

T: got room for one more over there?

You smiled like an idiot at your phone.

maybe.

Less than 10 minutes later, you heard the familiar wriggle of your doorknob. You don’t know why you even bothered locking it anymore.

“Hey you,” he whispered, carefully shutting the door behind him.

“Tom, you know you could’ve just knocked and I would’ve let you in- you don’t have to keep picking the lock.”

“Old habits die hard.”

You chuckled and stood up to greet him at your door as he unexpectedly wrapped you in an amazingly tight hug. He rested his chin on top of your head and started to sway your bodies back and forth. You laid your head on his chest and said hello to his heartbeat.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it was almost hard to fall asleep without you,” he murmured, placing another one of those domestic kisses on your scalp.

“Well, now you don’t have to.” you smiled. He waddled you backwards to your bed and you sat down as your legs hit the bedframe, prompting Tom to fall onto you as you giggled into his body that was now covering your face.

“Okay, goodniiight,” he said, refusing to move. You poked at his sides making him jump, and he grabbed your waist and rolled you on top of him. You instinctively leaned down so your lips could clash together in the way you were so used to, trying hard to not confess that you’d completely fallen in love with him when you finally had the breath to speak. He pushed your hair to cascade to one side of his face, and nuzzled your nose with his own, closing his eyes and humming with a smile. “Mmm.”

“Hmm?”

“Just happy.”

You rested your sleepy head on his warm chest, and fell into a deep sleep, letting the steady drumming in his chest be a metronome to breathe to.

~

“Oh, shit. Shit shit shit.”

You woke up abruptly, the bright light of day blinding you as you tried to open your eyes to the string of expletives you’d just heard come from a familiar voice. Once you’d opened them, though, you wish you had kept them shut so you hadn’t seen who had spoken.

“Harrison?!”

He was standing in your room, peering at you with hands half covering his eyes when you realized that there was a sleeping Tom underneath you.

Your brother paced in a circle and exhaled loudly. “Tell me I’m not seeing what I’m seeing.”

You nudged Tom awake with your elbow and immediately rolled off of him, trying to hide the very obvious fact that you had slept together all night. You never let him stay the full night for this exact reason, but he had been so ridiculously happy holding you in his arms that he forgot to set an alarm to wake him at the crack of dawn and leave. You sat up straight in your bed, twisting your hair in your hands, bracing yourself for the inevitable tirade.

Tom picked his head up to see Harrison standing there with his arms crossed, and flopped his head back on the pillow. “Fuck. Hey, mate.” He tried to play it off like this was the most normal thing that could happen on a Thursday morning.

“Is this why you’re always such bumbling fools around one another? You’ve been, what, fucking each other when I’m not around?” Harrison looked like he wanted to throw up at the thought.

“Haz, no, it’s not like that,” you said, but he didn’t seem convinced. “It’s just been smoking together and cuddling, really, that’s it,” you were torn between wanting to console your brother and admitting to both him and Tom that this was more to you than that. But Tom already knew that, because it was for him, too.

Tom looked like a deer in headlights. “I’m so sorry, dude-”

Harrison walked out of the room, and the two of you were left sitting in your bed, worry filling your eyes. Only a moment later, your brother reappeared in the doorway.

“Look, you idiots, I don’t care that you’re snuggling off the clock—you’re my two favorite people in the world, and to see you together, honestly, it’s about damn time,” he started, making both your and Tom’s jaws fall slightly agape. You exchanged a knowing look. Wait, is he not mad? Wait, about damn time??

“But I wish you would’ve told me so we could all hang out together. I don’t appreciate the sneaking around.” 

You cocked your head at him, sending him a loving gaze for always just wanting what’s best for you. 

“I’m just mad you aren’t including me in your hotbox sessions, really.” He laughed and ran his hands through his hair, pulling his face back to make a wild expression.

All three of you started to chuckle out of sheer awkwardness and relief.

“Come here.” Harrison held his hands out and you both gave a mutual aww as you ran into your brother’s arms, squeezing him tight.

“I love you, big bro.”

“I know. Now I’m gonna get out of here before you start kissing in front of me, or worse,” he moaned, swiftly exiting your room. “This is gonna be the grossest thing I’ve ever seen...” you heard him say to himself as he left.

You turned to Tom, still shocked at how well that had gone considering what he was assuming would happen. You swallowed the butterflies that you’d welcomed as friends and stepped back to him still sitting on the bed, putting your arms around his neck.

“And you,” you started, swinging your legs over his lap to straddle him. “I have to confess something.”

Tom placed his hands back on your hips where they rightfully belonged and smiled at you. “I’m listening.”

“I don’t mind you calling me babe anymore.” you grinned at his face drop, obviously assuming that you were going to say something else.

“Oh, and why’s that?” he prodded.

You looked up and off to the side as you squeezed his shoulders. “Maybe because I’m just a tad bit in love with you,” you trailed off, stiff as a board at what he could possibly say next.

“Well, babe,” he put emphasis on the pet name, “That’s a relief, because I was worried I might be the only one falling here.”

You grabbed his face and kissed him, kneading his soft cheeks under your thumbs, whispering exactly what you knew would get him the most.

“Nope.”

[scalproie]

Pick a favorite TF2 merc? Or do all 9, if you're feeling it.

Oh Im gonna do all 9 lets fucking go.

Scout:

So this guy. Not to accidentaly Meet The Scout but i dont even know where to start with him. Dont let the fact that hes the youngest of the mercs distract you that he is Just Some Guy and I mean this with the most affection I can. That one post wasnt lying, he CAN be any white guy you want him to be. I think Ive met at least 5 scouts in my life. Anyway the best thing about scout is how people draw him in their respective style because this little boston man has the range, babey. 5/10. I know in my heart it should be a 4 but he gets an additional point from me because I like him and he has daddy issues.

Soldier:

Funniest character ever and also really wholesome somehow if you read the comics, has a yell as iconic at the tom one from tom and jerry. doesnt really look that bad either tbh. 7/10 He Makes Me Laugh.

Pyro:

So the suit on itself is cool af and I like how in the... tf2 timeline [citation needed] everyone else goes from "oOooOOOh the Pyro is SO scary" to "This is everyone's little sibling now". 5/10. Schrödinger's attractiveness. But dont get me wrong the Pyro is so fucking cool.

Heavy:

8/10. I love heavy. REALLY love how actually wholesome he is with his friends and family in the comics. He has the looks yeah sure but he most importantly has the SMARTS

Demoman:

Okay objectively. Demo is the handsomest of the mercs. Like you know that one scene in the mann vs machine trailer where the camera focus on his face for a second while hes preparing to aim at the oncoming robots? Yeah. Also he's scottish and that add an additional point. 9/10

Engineer:

So first you look at engineer you're like "oh this is a fun little texan guy who sounds nice in both sense of the word, he's polite and everything. How silly looking he is with that hardhat and those googles :)" and then BAM he takes THOSE off and you're like "oh this is a pretty little texan man😳 AND he's polite."

(Note that he also get a beard at one point but I cant show it because ive already reached the picture limit)

anyway 8/10, short king babey.

Medic:

It is with a heavy (heh) heart that I must say that Im immune to this man😔. I know he mightve kickstart the whole "evil scientist" business in terms of general vibes and batshit insanity but I cant get into it. He IS cool but im blaming overexposure. Still extremely fun when played off with others, but alas not for me. 6/10

Sniper:

What he lost in attractiveness he made up in relatability when I found out he was 26 (and not 28 like I thought he was). He's not pretty, he's my friend sniper :) I could play smash bros with him during a party. He wouldnt go at parties tho and I respect that. Incredible voice tho👌. 6/10, additional point because the way he's drawn in the comics gives him A Vibe.

Spy:

This mf. Listen do I think he's pretty? No I dont. But in typical spy fashion he tricked his way into being my fav because I am physically incapable to resist a good father & son drama and a solid chuck of his character resolves around that. We've all had whiplash during the sudden serious "I've always been proud of you" moment in those usually silly af comics don't lie. Expiration Date was about spy being a dad to scout for 2/3 of it. I like that he's an asshole who cares. I like his character and his role of one straight man of the team. Unfortunately, out of my trio of dilfs, this is the One Certified Deadbeat(tm). 8/10, petite pute💖