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alyssawritcs · 1 month ago

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SUMMER HOUSE ( a rafe cameron au fanfic ) . chapter one .

love interest : au!rafe cameron rating : pg - 13 … for now ( drinking , tension ) wc : 5.2k author's note : eep , first chapter for this . obv inspired by summer house / summer house : martha's vineyard . lmk if yall want a full cast list for the other members of the house or anything like that ! i hope you enjoy <3

The trill of the phone ringing as it was propped up against the window allowed for Tae to put herself directly in line with the Hamptons sun streaming through. That seven step skincare routine was showing the fuck out at the moment. She’d have to keep her phone here after she hung up with her cousin in order to get some selfies off for her IG Story later.

Distracted by her own reflection, she almost jumped when her image shrunk and Pope’s replaced it. “Cuzzo! Damn, you made it up there fast as shit.” He was eyeing the lush background she was standing in front of. He’d seen it plenty in their various FaceTime calls over the last four summers.

“Unlike the rest of you heathens, I wake up with the sun as the good Lord intended.” And as was hammered into her head by their shared grandmother. Tae and her mother had lived in Nana Joy’s house for the majority of her childhood so waking up at the crack of dawn to the sounds of BeBe and CeCe Winans was her default. “You what, an hour out?”

“That's what the GPS says. You shoulda stayed with us this summer, I know you ain’t even wanna be around them.” Tae rolled her eyes, though Pope was not wrong. Four previous summers at the 115 House (as the returning summer residents liked to call it) had convinced her that this would actually not be that bad, despite the circumstances.

“Wait, they’re all still going there?” Came another voice on Pope’s end of the line. She recognized it as his good friend JJ, a long time background listener of Tae’s various problems. They had been roommates when she attended Morehouse and they were running amok at UNC Chapel Hill so when she called her favorite cousin Sunday mornings to rant and rave about whatever new person had done whatever shiesty shit, JJ was always there listening. Tae wasn’t particularly shy about letting him listen in on her shit. Very little had changed in the seven years since, even after all of them had moved to New York. The two of them were still roommates and Tae still talked to Pope about her problems on Sunday, only this time she did it on his couch, while they ate bagels (with the occasional guest appearance by JJ).

“Yes, bro. Shit is weird, why would they even wanna share a house with you after all that?” Pope replied and she shrugged.

“I’ve been trying to figure that out my damn self. With Duke, I can sorta see it but Jalen’s being a weirdo - as per usual.” Tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, she let out a long breath. “Did I show you how he was blatantly ignoring me in the groupchat? I literally would write something for us to do, he would say nothing. Then I had Fallon or Isaiah write the same thing and suddenly, ‘oh that’s a great idea guys hell yeah’. If I could reach through the phone ...” She let the sentence trail off as she made a choking motion with her hands. Pope chuckled.

“See? I told yo’ ass, you do not need to be around all that weird ass shit. Come stay at ours.” She thought about the proposition for a second but almost immediately shook it off.

“Nah, I’m not leaving my primary bedroom privileges to go share a room with your funky ass.”

“Funky? Never been that, don’t try to play me.”

“Whatever, I’ll just suffer in silence. You know me, I hate to complain.”

“Is this a new development? Because ...”

“Shut up!” The timer on the oven dinged, letting Tae know that the baked treats she’d set to start baking when she first got to the house were now officially done. She slid out the first tray, regular chocolate chip and placed it on the counter to cool, followed by a tray of chocolate raspberry crinkle cookies and then lemon tarts.

“You stress baking, huh?” Her cousin grinned knowingly. She flipped him off as she removed the oven mitts. “You mixed all that shit that fast?”

“There’s two mixers here and the third is my own two hands.” She wiggled her fingers. “I want everyone to have a cute little snack when they get here. You can have some too.”

“In your words, pur!” Pope laughed as Tae threw her head back in a cackle, watching her move around the kitchen to get some plates for the treats. “Rafe, lemme change the address in the GPS, we gotta stop at 115 first.”

“Cool man.” Tae’s head snapped up at the phone so fast, she nearly got whiplash.

“Pope, I thought it was just you and JJ in the car.” She rushed over to the phone.

“Nah, Rafe is driving us. He’s the one with the Cayenne, we wanna arrive in style, girl. It’s the Hamptons!” He set the phone on some kind of stand, allowing her to finally get a full view of the inside of the car. Cherry red interior, she almost moaned out loud. JJ was in the backseat, Pope was passenger princess’d out, even nearly fully reclined, and the buff ass arm of their friend Rafe trailed up to his very handsome face. She could’ve died right there and then.

“Hi Taelor.” He smirked at her and she gave a small smile and waved back. “Who’s Jalen?”

In for a penny, in for a pound, right?

“He’s my ex ... fling, I guess you could say? Okay so basically, two years ago, I spent most of the summer here hooking up with one of my roommates, Duke. He had just gotten out of a relationship, I was single, cool, whatever. It was just someone to have on the weekends up here and we sorta both understood that. He let me know, after Labor Day, that he had had dinner with his ex and they got back together. Okay, I’m cool with that. The next summer, last year, he and her decide that they’re gonna spend it out west with her people and I’m happy as a clam because no potential awkwardness. I’m chilling here and Keith, one of the other roomies, brings along his friend Jalen who proceeds to spend most of the summer all up under me, flirting with me, and leading me to believe that he wants me, right? Silly me, the boy tells me he wants me and I believed him!” Rafe snorted at that and she mentally patted herself on the back for making him laugh. She moved around the kitchen again, beginning to plate the cookies.

“So what did he do wrong that he’s now ignoring your messages?” He asked.

“You were listening for real, for real!” She grinned. “I didn’t wanna hook up with him that summer because I didn’t want a repeat of the Duke incident to happen, like I was actively avoiding that shit. However! He took me out on a couple of dates in the fall, in the city. I was literally one date away from taking it to the next level when he sent me a text ... A TEXT! Saying oh ‘my ex is back, she wants me again, sorry babe’. Could you fucking imagine how I felt reading that? I almost threw up!”

“That’s actually foul, Jesus Christ.”

“That’s what I said!” She sighed, organizing the plates on the counter and returning to her phone. “Anyway, now Duke is coming this summer and so is Jalen, and their girlfriends, and I’m Little Miss Rebound Girl that’s just gonna look like the sad and single and jealous one as they all canoodle.”

“We’ll be your buffer, Tae, don’t worry.” Pope chimed in.

“Yeah, you can come to ours whenever shit gets a little too romantic over there.” JJ offered.

“And I’ll be your fake boyfriend you can cuddle up with when they get to be too much.” Rafe was joking, she thought, but what a tempting offer.

The boys all worked, alongside their other friends Topper, John B, and Kelce, at a finance firm on Wall Street. During one of their after work bar crawls on a random Friday over a year ago, Pope had called Tae to meet them. She herself had just gotten off of work, a prestigious job as the producer for a hit radio show and subsequent podcasts for several clients. The show ran three mornings a week and the two podcasts she worked on recorded on Tuesdays and Thursdays, working out perfectly for as it left weekends open. In the summers, the morning show took a break which allowed Tae the option to get to 115 earlier than everybody else on Fridays and stay until Monday evening, while everyone else usually had to leave by Sunday night. The good pay also allowed her to pay a little extra so she could keep the primary for herself. Anyways!

She had gone to meet her cousin and his friend and ended up meeting their whole little crew, most of whom would be sharing the house this summer. That’s where she met Rafe, the oldest member of them all (only by two years, one in Kelce’s case) and also, the senior most member of their office in the group. None of them needed to say it but judging by the very understated Breguet on his wrist the first time they met, he was very clearly the richest one, yet surprisingly humble. He wasn’t excessively flashy with his shit, just liked to sit there and laugh along with the jokes. She figured he liked the boys because they were far from the classic finance bro types, more frat bro than anything else.

The entire night she’d been there with them, and every other time she’d hung out with them since (which had only been a handful), he’d listened intently as she yapped on and on. She knew he was listening because he always made sure to ask follow up questions and everything, which turned her on in a way she hadn’t even expected.

“Aw, thanks y’all. You’re all so sweet.” She giggled. Behind her the alarm on the door chimed, letting her know someone had entered the home.

“Taelor Marie Hastings, come greet me girl!” Isaiah’s voice carried through the foyer and Tae grinned, turning to the phone.

“I’ll see y’all in a little bit!” She waved goodbye and hung up the call, setting her phone on the kitchen island before taking off to hug her friend. “Zay!”

The two practically leaped into each other’s arms. You would think they lived on opposite sides of the country but nope, just in different boroughs. Tae was a Hell’s Kitchen girlie and Isaiah stayed his ass in Brooklyn, only ever crossing the bridge at night when one of his many boyfriends called him an Uber Black. They talked on the phone nearly every night but if she wanted to see him, she knew she had to go to him. That was fine, he lived near all the good Jamaican food spots anyways.

“Girl, look at you in a little workout set. Body by Tae, huh?” He spun her around, looking her up and down as the bright red biker shorts and matching sports bra with the jacket stood out on her skin tone. Tae wiggled her ass a little as the two of them laughed. “And it smell like cookies, ooh! I love you bad.”

“Where’s Fallon? I thought y’all were coming together?” She asked his back as he beelined for the kitchen and the aforementioned cookies. He didn’t need to answer as Fallon slammed her suitcase on the ground at the entryway.

“This Beis luggage ain’t shit, bro. My arm hurts.” She wiggled her shoulder, letting Tae put her arm around her. Now, they saw each other damn near everyday. The two girls lived less than five blocks from each other and regularly went to each other’s apartments for dinner and some sort of Bravo show. Zay would typically be on the phone to recap what had just happened on their screens.

“C’mon, you can rest it and rejuvenate yourself with a lemon tart.”

“Now you know I can’t resist one of your little lemon tarts.” They both walked into the kitchen, leaving the three bags the two of them brought in, to the side in the foyer.

“Because you are a tart. You are what you eat.” Zay smirked and let Fallon shove him.

“He’s been starting with me ever since he was supposed to pick me up. My arm hurts because I was standing outside of my place for a half an hour waiting on him!” She picked up the little square treat and let her eyes roll back as soon as she tasted it.

“I told you, I had an emergency!”

“Suckin’ and fuckin’ on your ex does not constitute as an emergency, Zay.” She retorted and he gasped.

“Don’t go tellin’ my business!”

Tae smiled as she looked at her friends. Fallon had been her randomly assigned roommate freshman year but they got on like a house on fire. Isaiah was the missing piece of their trio, meeting in their English 101 class and cutting up with them in the back all semester long. They had not left each other’s sides since then, initially moving to New York together as roommates in a tiny three bedroom in the Bronx while they got their feet wet in their respective careers. They all felt lucky that by the time they were twenty-five, Tae had her producing job, Isaiah was a licensed psychologist, and Fallon was a highly revered art teacher at a Manhattan private school.

Staying in the Hamptons had been their idea when they were still living together, finding 115 after one of Fallon’s student’s parents let slip that they rented out their second summer home. They told her that since she was their kid’s favorite teacher, they’d rent it out to her and her friends for a heavily discounted rate, thus launching the search for said friends. Isaiah roped in Charlie and Duke, two of his gym buddies, a lawyer for the Knicks and a physical therapist for the Nets, respectively. Fallon got Jason, a former fling of hers who clearly still wanted her bad and worked as a highly sought after tattoo artist. That left Tae, who got Keith and Amber, two models who were Fashion Week regulars that she had gotten to know through various events she attended in the city. That had been the standing crew for the past four years and it worked well for them - well, at least until this year.

“When are your loverboys getting here?” Isaiah asked, sneaking a second crinkle cookie. Tae gave him the evil eye, both for his words and his actions.

“They’re not my loverboys. One of them won’t even acknowledge my existence.”

“It’s so weird that they’re bringing their girlfriends, I’m sorry. Why set yourselves up for awkwardness like that?” Fallon asked, finishing up her own tart. She opened the fridge and took out the papaya green tea that Tae kept stocked in the fridge, as the two of them could chug gallons of that shit.

“Duke’s fine. Leslie’s nice, I told you we talked at his birthday dinner a couple months back. No grudges, all is Gucci. But Jalen? He can suck my dick.”

“You have such a way with words, Tae.” Isaiah said. She gave him a fake smile and tilted her head. “Your fine ass cousin still coming up too?”

“Ew, yes, ew still. I was just on the phone with him. They’re gonna stop over here before they go to their own place.”

“Ooh yay, Fal, we can ogle him together.” He and Fallon began London Tipton clapping and Tae rolled her eyes at their antics.

Within the hour, the rest of the housemates filtered in at nearly fifteen minute intervals. The last of them was Jalen, though Tae didn’t realize that as she, Amber and Fallon were sitting outside, checking on the pool.

“Thank God you called a pool boy because I already have a bikini on and I’m about to jump in right now actually.” Amber was saying as they opened the door, Fallon nodding in agreement.

“Me too bitch. Lemme go change right now actually.” She held the door for Tae who was grinning, faltering a bit as she spotted Jalen across the kitchen, munching on a chocolate chip cookie and feeding bits of it to his girlfriend, Juliana. He avoided her eyes but Juliana was staring her down and if Tae was being honest, it was damn near sinister.

“Oh you must be Taelor! Jalen has told me so much about you.” She rounded the island, sticking her hand out for the other girl to shake. She was a good five inches taller than her with perfectly done goddess braids and an evil little smirk on her face. “Jay, babe, you didn’t tell me she was so pretty.”

“Ye-yeah, right.” He caught up with her, slipping his arm around her impossibly thin waist. “Hi, Tae.”

“Hi Jay.”

“Oop, Tae and Jay, that’s cute.” Juliana sang. “I hope it’s not weird that I’m gonna be here. He told me you guys had a thing last year but that it was like, just a summer thing?”

The use of the word ‘thing’ was grating on her nerves a bit. “Yup, not a big deal at all. Happy to have you.” Keep it cute, Taelor, she thought to herself.

“Bom!” She turned to plant a huge kiss on Jalen’s lips which Isaiah fake gagged at behind them and Tae simply walked away, resisting the urge to do the same.

The chime on the door rang out again as she headed into the living room where Keith and Jason sat, already playing ESPN on the flatscreen. Her head turned at the sound of Pope’s exclamation of ‘CUZZO!’ and she could literally feel herself begin to fully relax. Her favorite people were in the house, she could temporarily forget Jalen and Juliana for a couple minutes.

He rushed over to hug her, rocking her back and forth a bit before pulling away. “You good?”

“Better now.” She whispered and he nodded, pulling away so he could dap up the boys. JJ and Rafe were right behind him, with the former giving her a hug first. “Hi J.”

“Hey there, pretty lady. Where’s my lemon tarts?” She laughed at that, wiggling her finger toward the kitchen. He turned to head in that direction, greeting Duke there. Suddenly, that left her face to face with Drew, who was sporting a new buzzcut and arms even bigger than they’d been on FaceTime.

“Hi, sweetheart.” They also hugged, except his was a bit tighter than JJ's and his large hands settled very comfortably on her lower back, which sent a shiver through her that he undoubtedly felt. He whispered into her ear. “Is Jalen the one standing the kitchen with the curly hair staring into my fucking soul?”

“Probably.” She pulled back with a chuckle though he kept his hands where they were.

“Still want me to play fake boyfriend?” He was smirking down at her as she raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t remember asking you to do that. In fact, I think it was actually you that offered.”

“And you should take me up on that offer because right now, he’s practically got steam coming out of his ears.” She didn’t have to look over at Jalen to know Rafe was probably telling the truth. “C’mon, you can introduce me. Be all coy and shit, so he starts to speculate.” She scoffed but led the way to the kitchen anyway.

“Y’all know Pope, my cousin.” He’d come up at least once every summer, though this was his first time staying in the Hamptons himself, and for more than just the one weekend in their guest room. “This is his roommate JJ.” He waved, mouth full of lemon tart. “And this is ... my friend Rafe.”

His hand was still on her back and he patted it as if to say ‘good girl’. Another shiver. He waved too and everyone began to chat, mingling amongst each other. Jalen stood on the other side of the room again, only this time he was staring her down. Tae bit her lip to hold back a laugh as she looked up at Rafe.

“You play a lot of fake boyfriends? Is that like, your side hustle? You rent yourself out to girls who need a hot guy to pretend to be into them?” She leaned on the kitchen island as he maintained eye contact.

“Yeah, but I’m not a cheap bitch either so this is gonna run you a lot of money.” Tae let out a cackle and he placed his hand on the other side of her, on the counter, boxing her in a bit. “And who said I’m pretending?”

The eye contact remained for another minute before Isaiah gathered everyone’s attention by the sink. “Jungle juice is done y’all! Champagne, Mtn. Dew, pineapple, mango, freshly cut strawberries, oranges, and kiwis, one whole bottle of tequila and one of coconut rum, all in each. You’re all very welcome!” He stepped aside to reveal a pair of 1 gallon pitchers with spouts, filled with identical liquids and floating fruits.

“You want some?” Tae asked Rafe who shook his head.

“Nah, I gotta drive those two miscreants to our place still.” He jutted his chin in Pope and JJ’s direction, both of whom were rushing to the pitchers to get their cups filled. Fallon, now clad in a bikini like Amber, approached Tae with a cup of her own.

“Here you go.” She looked up at Rafe with a grin and her hand extended. “Hi, I’m Fallon, her best friend.”

“Rafe.” He shook her hand.

“Her good friend.” Fallon gave Tae a look that practically screamed ‘we’re gonna talk about this later’. Once everyone had a cup and Rafe had a Celsius from the fridge, Charlie kneeled on a bar stool to deliver his annual first drink of summer speech.

“Here’s to a summer of good times, impeccable vibes, Tae’s famous breakfasts, Zay’s infamous drinks, Duke’s exhausting workouts, Fallon’s paint and sip afternoons, Amber’s photo dumps with her film camera, Jalen’s hour long showers, Keith’s basketball tournaments, Jason’s phenomenal DJing and my delicious Sunday family dinners. Cheers!”

Everyone shouted in agreement, going for their first sip. Rafe’s hand was still hot on her hip as Tae threw back the drink.

“That boy wants you bad.” Fallon was saying, laying on a towel on the window seat in Tae’s room. Isaiah was perched on the bed and Amber on her own towel on the chair in the corner of the room. Tae was busy unpacking her bag, hanging up her dress for the next day. They were hosting a little day party in the afternoon.

“Girl I was wet just looking at y’all.” Isaiah agreed. “He got eye contact for days and I know how much you like that shit.”

She was glad she wasn’t facing them as the smile on her face would’ve given away just how much she agreed with her friends. “Whatever y’all, he’s just being helpful.”

“Helpful would’ve been him hanging up a picture for you. He wants to put you through a mattress, Tae.” Amber offered this time.

The boys left after the cheers, rushing to join the rest of their housemates at their house. They were being joined by both JJ and John B’s girlfriend, Kiara and Sarah, with Pope’s girlfriend Cleo coming up the next day. Sarah was apparently also Rafe’s sister. She yet had to meet any of them other than Cleo, who she loved, but they would be attending the party tomorrow.

“Regardless of if he does or not, I’m not getting involved with any more summer flings. My track record clearly sucks.”

“Who says he’s gotta be a summer fling? He can transfer into a fall babe then a winter cuddle and so on.” Fallon said.

“Right, because that’s what always happens huh?” Retrieving a pair of baggy jeans and a leather corset top from her closet, she turned to her friends. “Are y’all gonna go get ready to go or you gonna sit here and discuss my nonexistent love life?”

They grumbled out responses, filing out to their respective rooms as she shut the door behind them and entered the bathroom.

A couple of hours and some pre-game shots of Don Julio later, the group piled into two separate Ubers. Tae, Zay, Fallon, Amber, and Jason in one, leaving Charlie, Duke, Leslie, Jalen, Juliana, and Keith to ride in the other. They all poured out of the cars twenty minutes later and walked into Hendrix, a beach club that had been their go-to since first coming to the Hamptons. It played the best music, poured the best drinks, and had really good air conditioning, which truly was key.

At some point, Tae found herself sitting with Leslie as she took puffs of her pen on the back patio of the club, both slightly sweating and just a level above tipsy.

“I told him that maybe we shouldn’t have even come because how awkward was this gonna be for you, ya know?”

“Girl, it’s fine, we were never anything serious and he was very respectful the whole time. Plus, he pays for the house too, he’s entitled to come!”

“Yeah, I guess. You’re mad chill for the situation you’re in.” Leslie took a pull of her pen and then got a little twinkle in your eye. “I guess it’s hard to be awkward when you’ve got that Rafe guy eyeing you up like a piece of meat.”

Tae groaned and threw her head in her hands. “Not you too! Have you been talking to Zay and them?”

“I don’t need to talk to anyone, girl, I have eyes! I thought he was gonna fuck you in that kitchen!”

“Who was gonna fuck who in the kitchen?” The girls both jumped, looking from their seats at Rafe who had quietly approached them. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Tae replied simply.

“I gotta go ... talk to Zay apparently.” Leslie hurried off, leaving the two of them behind on an otherwise empty patio.

“Smooth, Les.” Tae mumbled. “Welcome to Hendrix, you having fun?”

“I was about to then I saw your boy in there with his tongue down his girlfriend’s throat.” Tae rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, they’ve been at it all day.” It was true. Since the boys had left and everyone had dispersed earlier, Jalen had taken Juliana back to his room down the hall from Tae’s and proceeded to have the loudest sex humanly possible. If they were trying to make her jealous, it was not working but it sure was getting on her nerves. They had come down and canoodled on the stairs, done body shots for whatever reason, and had spent the majority of their time at Hendrix wrapped in each other’s arms, working up to, presumably, an indecent exposure charge at this point.

“So were they ones that were gonna fuck in the kitchen?” Rafe smirked as he sat in the seat Leslie had been occupying. He knew exactly what she had said, the glint in his eyes told her as much.

“Yup, you got it. Right next to the leftover crinkle cookies.”

“Oof, those were fantastic by the way. I wish I had taken more for the road.”

“Well, we have plenty left back at the house, you’re more than welcome to them.” Tae offered and he smiled back at her.

He leaned forward with his elbows on his thighs, their legs nearly touching. His finger traced over her denim clad knee. “Shit, I’ll go back with you right now for ‘em.”

“Okay, great, let’s go.” She was half-joking, though when he took out his keys and dangled them in front of her she raised an eyebrow. “You drove here?”

“I’m permanent DD.” He paused and shrugged. “I don’t drink, at least nothing more than the occasional beer or glass of wine.”

“Hm. Well, I’m a little drunk so you can drive me home and I’ll give you some cookies.” She caught herself. “The cookies. The cookies.”

“Right.” He stood up from the chair, offering his hand to her. “C’mon then.”

A quick push through the Hendrix crowd to get to her friends, Tae pointed at Rafe and they all began to aggressively give her a thumbs up. He led her out of the club, past her cousin and their friends, and if she had been a little more sober, she might’ve even noticed Jalen watching her leave but she wasn’t so she didn’t.

The cherry red interior was just as plush as she imagined and his playlist was exceptionally crafted, made up of indie pop and some Kaytranada tracks. The ride was quiet as the wind whipped her hair around her face and she thought she’d sobered up a bit by the time they got to 115. However, the staggering she did after he opened her door and helped her out of the car said otherwise. Still, he chuckled and steadied her, keeping that damn hand on her damn back as she walked to the front door and opened it.

Immediately kicking off her mules haphazardly by the steps, she walked straight to the kitchen while he lingered behind her a bit. The crinkle cookies sat in a Pyrex on the island and she popped off the cover to remove two to give to Rafe. She could feel the heat radiating off of him as she walked up behind her.

“Thanks. ‘Preciate it.” When she turned around, they were chest to chest. Damn, he smelled good as fuck! Her breathing picked up, as opposed to his even keeled breaths and when she looked up at him, making that eye contact she really did love so much, Tae wanted to lean in so bad. Their lips were practically already touching.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed them.” Their lips were centimeters away from one another but he didn’t close the gap. Instead, he whispered.

“I did wanna fuck you in this kitchen today. I’ve wanted to fuck you since that first time you joined us at the bar last year.” The sound Tae let out was somewhere between a whimper and moan. “But not right now. Not when you’re drunk. The first time I kiss you, the first time I make you cum, I want you fully aware and sober, so you can remember all of it. Understand?”

She nodded.

“Use your words.”

“I understand, Rafe.”

He hummed. “Good girl.”

Rafe took a step back from her, her breathing still heavy and his cologne hanging in the air. He grabbed one of the cookies and took a bite with a smile.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” He said, turning to leave the kitchen and then, the house. Tae stood there for a couple more minutes, fanning herself with her hand as she crossed over to the other side of the dark kitchen and grabbed a cup to pour herself some water.

Remembering her Owala sitting on her bedside table, she turned to walk back to the foyer and the stairs, stopping only when she saw her mules neatly sitting at the base of the staircase, waiting for her. Fuck.

#rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron #❥ 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 、summer house .#fanfic #fanfiction #outer banks fanfic #obx fanfic #rafe cameron x reader #black reader

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moss-in-my-shoes · 5 days ago

Text

-Tim Wright Headcanons-

Tw: horror and self harm imagery!!!!

The most normal out of the three men.

He’s probably had about fifty jobs at this point, every gas station in a twenty mile radius has probably hired Tim.

He can’t ever keep it though, not when he’s disappearing for weeks at a time and ghosting them whenever he, Jay, and Brian have to run away from Alex/The Operator.

Bro just wants to live a normal, mundane life.

Feel like he’s unlabeled when it comes to sexuality, he’ll date any gender as long as they’re not a bad person, but prefers men.

Thinks Hoodie is annoying and Jay is reckless.

Is also super intimidated by Hoodie and that messes with his head, gay panics about it a lot.

Is neutral about Masky and his existence, but when Masky is in control, it’s like blacking out for Tim.

He wakes up disoriented, sore, and feels like he needs to smoke seventeen cigarettes.

Masky is slowly becoming more and more Tim and Tim is slowly becoming more and more Masky.

It’s starting to scare him.

Met Brian when he was very young, before he started going to the hospital, but they rekindled their friendship in high school and college.

Definitely smokes a pack a day.

Actually liked Alex up until Marble Hornets happened, but was more obvious about not liking him with his mannerisms and attitude later on.

Hangs onto Jay when they’re investigating to make sure he doesn’t get himself killed.

Unaware that Brian also does that to him.

Wanted to be an astronaut as a kid.

Definitely over-diagnosed and under-diagnosed at the same time.

Is still getting all the pills they need because of it.

Loves orange only because Jay likes it.

Honestly hates alcohol, it tastes like piss to him, he makes that “this shit nasty” scrunched face- but this dude literally smokes the cheapest and most disgusting cigarettes on the planet.

Resting bitch face all the time. He has it when he’s happy, when he’s angry, when he’s sleeping, mf gets tan lines in his eyebrow creases because he’s always got attitude.

Ocarina of Time fan, has beat it a few times and has a keychain of Epona.

Masky fucks up his tough guy persona by acting like a rodent.

Had a puppy when he was little, he doesn’t know what happened to him though.

Moths follow him everywhere, even in the daytime, or if there’s no light around him, there’s still moths.

Is a bit of a pretentious asshole when it comes to music, like he thinks he’s slightly better than you if you don’t listen to a certain selection of artists.

“Name five of their songs” lookin ass bitch. He doesn’t mean to be mean though? (Maybe).

Helps Jay take his T shots, he’s desensitized to needles, but can see how nervous it still makes Jay. Alex used to help Jay, but Tim took over when Alex went insane.

Is the only person who can actually touch the Operator when being attacked. Hoodie and Jay collapse, (Jay first, Hoodie second), but Tim can actually stay upright for long enough to actually touch it.

Tim describes it as what a dead channel on a Tv sounds like, vibrating under his skin, and what it would feel like if maggots ate his bones.

Jay and Brian made him stay in bed a lil longer after that particular incident.

Hasn’t cried in five years.

Wants to be a farmer now. Just taking care of animals, chasing after ducks and chickens, shoveling hay into a barn, driving a tractor. It’s all very appealing to him. (And if Jay and Brian were there, he wouldn’t complain).

Wraps an arm around Jay whenever they’re in public and keeps an eye out for Brian.

He’s obviously very gay for them I’m sorry, how am I supposed to not headcanon him being hella gay for those two???

Has a bunch of self harm scars, mostly from breakdowns where he couldn’t calm down unless he tore up his arms.

He thinks they’re ugly, but Hoodie always wants to run his hands over them, he only lets him if he’s Masky.

That’s it for now! Bye!

#fantasy #horror #the operator #alex kralie #brian thomas #hoodie marble hornets #jay merrick #marble hornets #masky marble hornets #skully marble hornets #tim wright #creepypasta #headcanons #Tim wright headcanons

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xoxovalrea · 1 year ago

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Jaded - suguru geto + fem! reader

Sypno: Your dumb boyfriend “becomes” friends with the university’s drug dealer and does hardcore drugs on video. So you help him out by..fucking your edgy dealer‼️

A/n: dont do drugs kids⁉️ listen to digital bath- Deftones

Warning: words like slut & whore r used & drug and alcohol use. Also CNC & rough sex ( lmk if i missed any )

Wc: 1.3k

💜Minors DNI‼️💜

You’re on the couch with your boyfriend travis per usual when he all of a sudden starts getting really touchy which he only does when he needs something.

You roll your eyes and say “whats up what do ya need” he rubs your thighs and finally says “baby can you please go over to sugurus place n give him money” you ask why out of curiosity and you instantly regret it. He tells you he was doing hardcore drugs with suguru and he got it on video threatening to send it to the school board. You sigh and tell him to leave so you can go over to getos place. You don’t even know why he is so serious about it, like he’s not even good at football or basketball or school in general all he does is beat up kids and cheat on you. You change into a crop top and some white sweats and start walking to a small trailer park. 400$ in your pocket is a small pocket knife and your phone so you don't get kidnapped or lost.

As you're walking you see the trailer with the number 0197 on the mailbox and walk up to the door once you get there you hear a faint sound of a guitar so you knock even harder three times and the music finally comes to a halt. Geto walks out with blood shot eyes sipping Hennessy and his hair falling randomly on his face. “hey baby how can i help ya ? want the usual or nah and tell ya shit faced boyf-“ you sigh and let yourself in plopping down on his couch taking out the money and hold the money up towards geto he takes another sip of the drink and grabs the money laughing

“His bitch ass really sent you here for him” he finishes the rest of the henny and puts it down“ I know don’t even bro“ you sigh as the couch sinks farther. You look up to see geto lighting a blunt. He notices you staring “what don't act like you don’t smoke ms cheerleader“ he lights it and takes a hit leaning back man spreading. You take a hit after him and he laughs “so I guess he want that video posted” you look at him confused and nod your head no even though he cheats on you how else you gon get money.

You pass the blunt back and he looks at you “look let's make a deal you forget about your shitfaced boyfriend nd spend the week with me yea” you stare at him for a minute then finally respond “sure but keep your end of the bargain” he stares into your eyes instantly reading your every expression before taking a hit then smiling “trust you’ll forget all about him baby” he says before roughly kissing you.

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°❀

He wraps his hand around your neck squeezing softly pulling you into his lap breaking the kiss. “lets see how wet that cunt is” he slides your sweats off and rubs your clit through your panties. you let out a whimper in response as he starts increasing speed and eventually stops “how bout we call your boyfriend yea? make one noise and ill ruin his fucking life yea?” you nod as he picks up his phone and calls travis.

He slides his finger up and down your slit collecting your juices Travis picks up and you hear a murmur of his voice as Suguru slides two fingers in immediately fingering you fast and hard. “yea she came over” he hits your g-spot and you accidentally let out a loud moan and he mutes his mic and stops fingering you “what I told you ? You're lucky your pretty” he unmutes and continues fingering you squelching filling his ears “my bad just my loud neighbors” your eyes roll back as he whispers in your ear to cum and you cream all over his fingers soaking your panties and his pants “yea we all cool though come over soon I gotta surprise f’ya” he laughs then hangs up still fingering you making your legs tremble underneath him.

He pulls his fingers out and flips you on your back “awh look at how wet she is f’me” he pulls your panties off and throws them somewhere on the floor. He kisses your thighs up and down leaving bite marks and hickeys. He stops and looks you in the eyes before sucking your clit and shoving two fingers back into your dripping hole. “Fuck geto I cant fuck take it” you scream out still sensitive from your previous orgasm, hearing this he only goes faster your walls clench around him and you let out another loud moan and squirt all over his face. You feel him smile as he devours you and your juices. “Put that pretty mouth to use nd get on your knees” you follow his orders and get on your knees between his legs he pulls his pants down exposing his huge boner you bite your lips and lean in to kiss his tip and he lets you tipping his head back with a groan.

You take his tip in your mouth and go down a third of the way and gag stroking the parts you can’t get while geto takes his shirt off. He finally takes his shirt off and throws it to the floor. You try to go lower but you gag and your eyes water “uht uht go down you can do it“ he pushes your head all the way down lifting your head up and down. He throws his head back and bucks his hips up into your mouth. He pulls out to let you breathe then shoves it back into your mouth bucking up into your mouth using it as a fuck toy “fuck baby your mouth is so good” he says while creaming down your throat you swallow as he lifts you up by your face and starts making out with you sloppily he gets up and picks you up by your knees and carries you to his bed while making out with you.

He lays you down “flip over on your stomach” you oblige and flip over face down ass up waiting for him. He rubs his tip on your ass “wait isn’t he coming“ he looks at you puzzles and nods yes “wait we can’t he will literally ruin me” you try to get up but geto holds you down “now you know you want this dick. he doesn’t even fuck good fuck him” you smile at his words still getting that gut feeling that this is wrong. “fine okay” he laughs and shoves his length into you immediately thrusting in and out slapping his balls on your clit. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he fucks up into your cervix and pushes up onto the bulge in your belly “FUCK geto its its to much I can’t-“ he cuts you off pushing your head into the sheets you hear groans coming from above you. “awh my pretty slut can’t take it ? That's too bad” he grins and pounds you even harder making you scream and writhe under him.

Geto flips you over on your back and you can't even look him in the eyes, that's how dazed you are. He slips back in with a groan you don’t know how long its been since you guys started fucking maybe an 10 minutes maybe 30 you don’t know. You dont even know how many times you’ve came around his dick, you snap out of your thoughts as geto slaps your thigh “damn ma I got ya that fucked up” he laughs and starts rubbing your clit.

You feel his dick twitch as you tighten around him even more. He leans down to sloppily kiss you and you tangle your hands into his hair as you spasm all over his dick. After a few more thrusts he finally creampies you. As you're laying down with geto you both hear a knock and he grins “well look at that” he laughs as he kisses your forehead and gets up to put shorts on and get the door.

A/n: intro is too short but oh well & i MIGHT do a prt 2 to Love Galore or update it idk (for the person who suggested) bye lovess🕊️💗

#jjk #geto suguru #geto x reader #geto x you #geto smut #jujutsu kaisen #suguru #getou suguru #jujutsu geto #jjk geto #loverzzlane

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issacballsac · 2 years ago

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“Attempting to be Friends with Vergil Sparda„

Honestly he’d never outright call you his friend💀 ! Gn Demon Reader

Origins | DMC3

Let’s be FR he wouldn’t care abt your gender or lack there of he still sees you as lesser than

You’d have to be a Devil or half Devil to even linger around him

Im seeing you just come from Hell to be friends with him🦀

Naturally like any of the devils in DMC3 u were originally gonna attack Vergil bc NPC does what NPC is supposed to do

But you have common sense a pretty mf with a sword is bad news so let’s be friends dear beautiful one

Bear with me right—all ur demon gang gets slaughtered by this mf and you’re just standing there watching fascinated absolutely entranced by this mf

Seeing as you’re the last obstacle he points that big ass katana at you

“Sorry I just can’t fight someone so beautiful man.”

Gives you the MEANEST side eye

Still tries to HARM you and succeeds—but like you regenerate 💀

Mf would let out the BIGGEST sigh and just walk away🪦

You follow ofc bc who wouldn’t (a mf who wants to live 💀)

Bonding

Me when might controls everything 🫦

Despite being a demon yourself you def would try to convince him to NOT open the portal

Bc lets be FR them other devils ain’t shit for nothin‼️

He constantly looks annoyed and has a mean case of resting bitch face

He’s very stand-offish and depending on how long/well you know each other he’ll listen to what you’re sayin

Especially if ur a person that likes to go on rants

DMC3 he’d be more open to a mf who has no attachments as seen during the scene where he stabbed Arkham

New to friendship and sees everything as a transaction

You give me this and I give you that typa thing

Would take FOREVER to tell you abt his childhood and by the time he does u pretty much already know bc of Dante

Would get along better if ur also half demon rather than full demon as he has a complex where he continuously tries to rid himself of his humanity

Bros on a MISSION so u gotta be able to keep up

Obviously being demon/half demon you got some power but if you’re weak he’s gonna drop you I’m sorry 💀(no I’m not)

Daily

Doesn’t celebrate his birthday

Just in general regardless of his childhood I just don’t think he’d like to

So no surprise parties please🫶

Now don’t get me wrong he IS smart but like also a dumbass💀

Constantly makes you think bc he’ll say smth so stupid but make it sound so smart

A very dramatic mf

Always makes dramatic entrances no matter where he goes

Walks into McDonalds with his blue coat flowing, snowlike hair, glistening eyes, arched eyebrows, and a judgmental look

Baby let ur hair down🫦

Bro is effortlessly breathtaking and if u ask for tips or question what he does for his routine he looks you up and down, scoffs, and leaves💀

I NEED MORE POWER

Spars with you bc luckily you can regenerate

Infinite punching bag

Love a reader with no shame(me acting like I didn’t write this)

Idk why but I feel like he can play the piano as just like a pastime thing

When trapped in Hell u just roam around y’know bc you’ve lived there for as long as you can remember ��

Vergil is in a constant search for more power and ur just chillin watching him

Like those mfs who still calmly sip on their drinks when there is a bar fight

“Woohoo! Go Vergil you’re doin’ great!”

“Shut up!”

He loves you, I promise.

Talks shit abt Dante, lovingly ofc

After the events of DMC5 if he were to come back with Dante(ambiguous ending)

Y’all would prob live together

And they were roommates 😨

FR tho it’s like weird especially with Nero being recognized as his son

“Nero is my son?”

“You have a son?”

“I didn’t know..”

“How did you not know?”

Becomes more vocal during the friendship during/after the events of DMC5

He doesn’t see the need for an abundance of clothes so if ur into fashion your ideas fill 98% of his wardrobe

Honestly I think he can cook

More of a baker methinks

He probably wouldn’t like sweets but he’ll certainly make them himself

No I’m not going to make a berries delight joke.

#fanfic #fanfiction #platonic headcanons #x male reader #platonic #x gn reader #x reader platonic #x female reader #dmc vergil #dmc devil may cry #dmc x reader #dmc fanfiction #dmc headcanons #dmc #vergil #vergil x reader #vergil x you #Vergil x reader platonic

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dear-space-cadet · 2 months ago

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because I’m sure everyone was waiting for my review. here it is. directly copy pasted from my notes app

Franz album review

Audacious - more like atrocious. I wish I liked this one but Alex’s lyrics are just cornballs as per usual #DontStopFeelingBodacious 3/10 bc the beginning riff set us up for SOMETHING and then took it away

Everydaydreamer - mildly ass TO ME just bc of the lyrics again… RIP Nick McCarthy I miss your influence this is ass 3/10

The Doctor - more like doctor poo… jk this one is actually not bad. The lyrics again are just making me mad bro 😭😭😭😭😭. I like this one it’s giving slight itao in ways… wait is this actually a good song??????? I think this is an actually good song WOWWWWW ok 8/10

Hooked - oh and here we go welcome back always ascending… some habits die hard. Album name drop 5/10. Lyrics bad again fuck offfff. Alex cannot write lyrics bro like how much of that was Nick bc AA and this song were both ass lyrically

Build it Up - NICK MCCARTHY PENTAGON HERE???? I think this song is about their beef esp bc it’s an older song that got worked into this album. It sounds like actual Franz Ferdinand too wow oh this is good… I like this one 10/10 THE LYRICS ARE NOT CRIMGE WE WON… welcome back Your Diary… welcome back YCHISMB period tbh like I was so good at predicting… anyway this one is such a banger I keep coming back to it like this is actually a GOOD song and not just something I’m giving a good score bc it’s not bad???? Like this may enter my rotation in big 2025???? Wowwww… justice for Black Tuesday tho but that was a Paul Thomson production so I get it

Night or Day - I already gave this one an 8/10 but it’s worse after the masterpiece that just hit my ears. Like I can’t even rate this one bc of the Yass I just let out at a Franz Ferdinand song in gargantuan 2025

Ok I’m getting off the subway so I gotta pause here but I’m gonna listen to the rest

Tell Me I Should Stay - 8/10 I’m too aroace for this shit. Alex is on key tho which doesn’t happen often. I like this one. I just hate the “hug me kiss me” like no I will not be doing that and I don’t think anyone in their right mind would want to UGLY… maybe it’s about Nick tho in which case I give it a thumbs up. This album pmo it’s like Alex forgot he was gay and repressed. But tbh that’s kinda character development, like he realized his art doesn’t have to be Profound, which is actually a good thing in his case bc when it’s Profound ppl just imagine him fucking his opp/former lover in the ass…. Anyway

Cats - actual song about cats bro this is kinda a booty metaphor tho … the whole world cheered for a Nick McCarthy riff tho like maybe they exchanged ideas in 2022 when they posted each other on insta… /j lyrics ass but song good 7/10… my only serious criticism is “you can’t turn a cat into a dog” is a popular transphobic talking point and Alex follows JK Rowling and Glinner who r two prominent UK transphobes, plus remember he QRTed that thing saying cancel culture was stupid…………. I know that isn’t the intent of the lyric but it rubbed me the wrong way….

Black Eyelashes - IS THAT A FUCKING BOUZOUKI??????????? Goddamn stop talking abt Greece tho gtfo my house… good song tho I guess… WHY CAN I UNDERSTAND THIS SHUT UUUUUPPP GTFO MY HOUSE 7/10 tho I like the vibes here. I do think it’s funny he’s essentially somehow sonically doing Yellow Mexico Filter but for Greece here… also I’m saying “he” bc this entire album is an Alex Kapranos production I fear. Let the bald one, the big twink, the girl, and the definitely gonna be transfem one speak!

Bar Lonely - I can tell this was written in 2015… ALEX WHEN I CATCH YOU… such a banger… one thing I don’t like about this album is the insistence on saying the song title as like a lyric in the song if that makes sense. Like just randomly saying it. They do it in almost every song and it’s so annoying. Not like naming the song after a lyric but using the song title as a chorus almost. This songs like an FFS song almost like I can’t explain it but the telling a story about somebody aspect is very ffs… esp bc it’s apparently set in Japan and we all know about FFS and Japan. 8/10

The Birds - boring sloppy messy lazy… “we all do things we shouldn’t have done” “the birds don’t care what the birds have done” “thank you for accepting me for the things I’ve done” like ok whatever… not to mention the “thing you have done” is grooming teenage girls. 5/10 terrible album closer dude we could have done without this one

—

Hope u enjoyed my Music Criticism str8 from the heart. From the very same Lev who brought you beautiful long form essay comparing their favorite nba player to the fucking Velveteen Rabbit

#franz #Franz Ferdinand #says the trilobite

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pandoraroid · 8 months ago

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The Pack Wedding 💥💥💥💗💥

reaction rambles bc yes

please keep in mind this is meant to be lighthearted i love these men with all my heart n life n soul

THIS IS 43 MINUTES IM SO SCARED WHY CANT I PRESS THE VIDEO this is too much nervousness for seven in the morning im dead

DAVEEEYYYYY HIIIIIII GMORNING MWAAAA

"it's the pack everything's gonna go crazy." bro it's the SHAW pack what does that say about you hm 🤔 /j i love you david

"reception's gonna be a solstice party on steriods" I SNORTED SO DAMN LOUD 😭

now should be a good time to say that part of the reason why i like redacted so much is because it's so funny and lines like that do it for me every single time.

"i love you angel so very much" BOOGSH 💥 im so in love with you david shaw

i think bro's in love with us guys idk

"beautiful... you.." NO YOU 🫵 david we are not doing this back in forth in the morning JUST ACCEPT IT

he's triggering my cuteness/love aggression SO FUCKING SAPPY I LUV U MWAH

"you fucking menace c'mere" HIS LAUGH OMFG GOOD FUCKINH MORNINGGGG

IS ASHER NEXT PLEASE TELL ME HE'S NEXT

MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN

"oh fuck it's the day" me just this morning

"asher breathe we're good you've been training for this your whole life" ELABORATE???? id love to know how exactly youve been training for this asher

"it's our wedding day. holy shit it's our wedding day. i'm gonna be a husband." KILLL MEEE RIGHT NOW I CAN HEAR HIM SMILEEE OMFG WEAR THAT SHIT WITH PRIDE ASHER

"i've always been husband material look at what we're working with" KILL ME RIGHT NOW /pos baabe smacking him though HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

id kiss you for the rest of my life asher

laughing against/while kissing THIS MAN WANTS ME DEAD

"say how much time do we have before we meet everybody in the lobby" LET THEM FUCKING WAIT

MILO AND SAM???? OH MY GOD???? (should go without fucking saying but... drive safe..... please...)

in my head: sam is driving. david's shotgun. ash & milo are in the back. just because. >> BRO I WAS RIGHT????

darlin driving in another car with the other mates??? that... isnt what i think it is.... is it......

david sounds so tired of their bs HAHAHA "rounded out with a little traditional opinion from them of all people" DARLIN FIGHT BACK

"hey we're fun too, right?" ASHER PLEASE

"well let's see: we've got a grouchy grandpa drivin us-"

"hey."

"at least he didn't call you cowboy." BRO

"now don't you start."

"and we got the grumpy alpha."

"i'm not grumpy. just preoccupied."

"right. right." bros didnt even try to sound convinced

"we're fun."

"asher. we spent your bachelor party playing destiny 2."

"and smash!"

"oh my mistake."

this entire conversation. peak.

"i dont even wanna imagine what chaos those four are getting up to piled in one vehicle." OH WOULDNT YOU LIKE TO SAM

DEAD ASS SILENCE I LOVE IT i cant fycking breathe this is too funny.

in my head, they were definitely arguing over directions. or darlin's driving, or making fun of the other car.

wait darlin what

"or you'll likely end up staring down the maw of my own beautiful mate-" SAMUEL COLLINS

"oh move it mr. wedding day" WHY DOES THAT SOUND SO GOOD

"and fix your hair."

"it's suppose to look like this!"

"are you trying to look like you got married in a wind tunnel?" BRO NOT ON HIS WEDDING DAY 💀

sam encouraging milo omgomg

"you talk more than anyone i know. and i know asher." AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

"is my tie on straight?"

"is it ever?" is the one wearing it straight /jjjj

david helping him with his tie someone kill me right now

GABE'S CHILI RECIPE WHAT

"why did you pick me?" OH SHIT

i seriously just listened and payed attention to their conversation so no thoughts head empty only them

"what really mattered in a beta was having a person that was the other side of your coin."

"i picked you because you were the one person i trusted more than anyone else. you made me feel safe at a time more than i couldve explained. you were everything i wasnt. where i was distant you were outgoing. where i was rough you were warm. where i was analytical you were intuitive. you're the other side of my coin. you always have been. so it never mattered to me what anyone else thought of what i needed in a beta because they didnt know me. i did. you did. and i needed the person that was right for me not for anybody else."

i couldve typed out everything david said but THIS!!!! I WAS SOBBING!!!! THEY ARE THE OTHER SIDE OF OTHER'S COIN NEVER FORGET THAT!!!!!!!! their vows to each other fr

this is wrecking me THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH

"you're too hard on yourself too."

"well we had to have something in common other than destiny and smash bros, right?" the range of friendship everyone

THEYRE HOLDING BACK TEARS IN THIS ONE TRUST ME

my heart felt so heavy in this WHY

"i think you're the best fucking beta i could have ever asked for. i think you're the besy friend i could have ever asked for. i deserved most of the time."

aaaanndd got heavier 😁

GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG

"i just feel bad that i'm going to be up there looking this good y'know people are going to get confused on whose wedding day it really is." EAT EM UP SWEETHEART (i meant milo but them too ofc)

"do we get a step stool for behind the podium?" HAHSHAHAHAHHA THE CONCERN IN HIS VOICE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

"i love you milo"

"i love you too asshole" CRYING

"thank you for doing this milo"

"i got you. always." ALWAYS.

CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY

"when i was asked by my friends to officiate their unions, i only had one question for them: how much does it pay?" ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

im really listening on this part so head empty.

oohh asher (i think it's asher) laughing through baabe's vows IS SO SWEET I LOVE YOU AND I ALWAYS WILL

OH DAVID GETTING CHOKED UP ON ANGEL'S VOWS KILL ME

"you're the best part of me. and i'll spend the rest of our lives showing that i'm worthy of that." oh david shaw you dont even have to try

"i now pronounce you all married the-the pairs of you to each other not all together" OH THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO LET HIM LIVE THAT DOWN

THE KISSES OMMMGGGKFHEKHEJSS

CONGRATULATIONS ANGEL & DAVID

CONGRATUALTIONS BABE & ASHER MWAAAAAAAAHH TO ALL OF YOUUU

#it took me two hours to get through the video bc i was either laughing or nearly crying #SO GOOD NOM NOM NLM #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted david #redacted asher #redacted angel #redacted sam #redacted darlin #redacted sweetheart #redacted milo #redacted babe #redacted baabe #redacted wedding

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ani-n-snips · 1 month ago

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dont vape kids

TL;DR at bottom, cuz even i am not reading allat So my friend pulled up in an uber at my house last night for a sleepover. we was chillin for a half hour, before he ask me "do you smoke?" i say "nah, thats not my typa shit, blah blah blah." he then pulls out not one, but TWO vapes from his bag, and says "do you mind if I smoke though?" Keep in mind my mom is very religious (so is his), and he knows this. Also understand that my pre-teen siblings are chillin in the other room. I tell him "yo nah, my mom really aint that strict but just dont be doing anything like that in the house. irdc about anything you do outside of it, js not in here." he understands and we go for a bike ride, play some basketball, watch yt on his switch (he lost his phone), eat some snacks, etc. Then he goes to the bathroom, and comes out puffing some shit. before i was like kinda indifferent just telling him the rules, but atp im annoyed. i tell him "pull that shit again and I swear to god I'm snitching." he apologizes, tells me he wont do it again, etc. then he says "lemme go put my bag upstairs." now I'm not a dumbass, so i wait 2 minutes then follow him to my room, catching him doing that shit again IN MY ROOM. now im PISSED, and i cuss him the hell out, and tell him im snitching. he first begs me not to snitch (his mom would beat his ass), so i relent and tell him "just give me the vapes and i wont snitch." he first lies and tells me he only has one (acting like he didnt show me he had two like 2 hrs earlier). THEN he is begging me to let him have one more hit (at this point we both start laughing because we know he sounds crazy), and eventually i get him to listen to me, and i CHUCK that shit outside as far as I can, into the neighbors backyard. im still mad at him, and my mom eventually comes home and is confused on why we aint acting like that, so i make her promise not to tell his mom (she chill like that), and i confess. she kinda js shocked, but she say I dealt with it fine, says he prolly aint coming back, drops a lil hint to his mom, and then turns on criminal minds or some shit idk. my friend and I lowkey js vibe for the rest of the night and forget about it. next day, its time for him to dip. Again, no phone, he cant drive, so my mom calls an uber for him to go back to his house. heres where it starts to get WICKED. THIS MF DONE TOLD THE UBER DRIVER TO DROP HIM OFF AT WALMART??? HE LIVES 40 MINUTES AWAY, HAS NO COMMUNICATION, HAS 50 DOLLARS IN HIS POCKET, AND IS TRYNA GET A HIT 💀??? bro couldn't have waited literally ONE more day, nah, he had to buy his vape at the FIRST opportunity. anyways not my problem anymore, did what i could. i understand addiction, more than some people realize, but THIS is bad 😭 TL;DR: i chuck vape addict friends vapes into the forest, he decides to strand himself at walmart and spend all his money on vapes

#vaping #it is what it is #we’re cooked

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aita-blorbos · 1 year ago

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AITA for snitching on my brother?

Listen, my 19 brothers (all 200M) and I (200M) don't have the best relationship. After my Dad (over 50000M) and his buddy (3000M) created us in their lab, our mum stole us and passed us off to various adoptive parents on different planets, so we didn't even grow up together. As a consequence, some of us had it easier than others. Me, I had a great adoptive father. He put me through college and encouraged me until I became the actual second best wizard ever. By 18, I was pretty much the philosopher-king of our planet. I even had a relationship with my bio Dad longer than the rest of my brothers did because we found each other through magic and then used it to hang out. (He's the first best wizard. No biggie.)

Anyway, things were going great for me. Eventually, our bio Dad hosted a big family reunion and I got to meet my brothers. I was ready to make friends, but man, some of them were assholes. Well, that was fine. I stayed friends with the brothers I liked. I had a lot on my hands anyway, since Dad had taken the liberty of making 1000 sons for me, and none of them were freaking potty trained.

Did I use magic to potty train them? Yes. Did I maybe get the potty-training magic from a strange voice in my head? Well... Okay, yes, but consider that 1000 sons = a lot of potty training if you take the traditional route. I think it was a reasonable choice at the time.

Anyway, my sons were doing great, and the brothers I got on with and I began to set up this big magical training program so we could all teach our sons to be better and safer wizards. Sounds great, right?

Well, the asshole contingent of my brothers decided to haul us in front of Dad and point their fingers at us. "Wizards are bad and dangerous" they claimed, while one of them stood around surrounded by his own freaking wizards. ("They're not wizards, they're enchanters," my ass.)

I thought our bio Dad would side with us, him being the greatest wizard of all time and his buddy (I swear those two have something going on) being the third greatest after me. But no! He told us we needed to stop doing magic. Literally the one thing I'm good at. The one thing he made me good at. I'm the second best wizard in the galaxy, and he wanted me to sit on my ass.

Well, I tried. I mostly stopped. But come on, those assholes were definitely up to something. I started using my wizardry to surveil my brothers, and oh boy. The shit I found out. At first, I just sat back and ate popcorn, watching them pratfall their way through life. It was funny, what can I say? And I still stuck by the bros who had my back.

But then one of my bros, L, (unfortunately one of the ones I got on with) had the worst thing possible happen to him: He decided he had found God. By which I mean, he decided our bio Dad was literally God.

Seriously, our Dad. Sure, Dad is like 20 feet tall and glows with golden light, but when the glowing giant immortal wizard tells you he's not a god, you believe him. Unless you're L.

Dad's attempts to re educate him were... Misguided. As I said, he's not a god. But he went so hard that L flipped right the other way around and started to believe that our dad wasn't God. He was Satan, apparently.

And so, L went to our other brother H, who had a mad case of "first-child, I carry the whole family" syndrome, and started trying to convince him that our dad was Satan.

I tried to warn H that L was crazy. H just went "Lol okay" and went back to chugging L's koolaid.

H and L were definitely going to do something stupid, like murderously stupid. I needed to warn Dad, and it was urgent. I started calling, but Dad wouldn't pick up.

So I called him the way we used to talk, using magic. And what do you know, he had basically put up some sort of magical barrier which meant I couldn't call him that way either. I was pretty pissed off to see he had blocked me on so many levels.

And this is where I may be the AH.

See, that voice in my head that helped me work out how to potty-train the kids using magic? Yeah, it spoke up again. It suggested I break through the barrier. I figured Dad built it for a good reason, but I *was* strong enough and I was trying to save his life. So I broke in.

And then the voice's magical demons flowed into Dad's lab, ruining the amazing magical teleporter which he and his buddy had been building in secret. Turns out, the voice in my head was an ACTUAL god, the Lord of Change... And Dad had known all along. It was why he told my brothers and I that we had to stop doing magic. But he never thought to actually explain that to ME, so how the hell was I supposed to know I had a god in my head? He told us gods didn't exist!

Anyway, gods are real, but I still maintain that my Dad isn't Satan. He's just a really bad father.

He was understandably furious that I broke his experiment and let demons into his lab, but he yelled at me like he thought I did it on purpose. Plus, H was so mad that I snitched, he actually sent another brother (Mr. "They're not wizards") to burn down my planet. Like hell I was sticking around after that. After one last attempt to reach out to Dad, (which ended with my most gullible brother gaslighting me and then hitting me with a hammer) I went NC with pretty much my whole bio family.

I'm doing okay now. I actually ended up moving in with the Lord of Change for a while because at least he helped me potty train my kids and let me do wizardry in his spare room. Now I have my own planet and a sick wizard tower. It would be great if it weren't so dusty in here.

I still wonder if I was the asshole though. Don't get me wrong, I think the biggest assholes are my Dad, H, L, some other brothers I didn't mention, Mr. "They're not wizards", my oldest son who apparently can't keep the place clean, and a lot of my other sons who just kinda vanished one day. But maybe I could've done something else, like sending Dad a letter or warning my nicer brothers about H and L instead going straight to the top. So. AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

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borahaerhy · 2 years ago

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D-Day is an absolute masterpiece; let's discuss.

Obscenely long description of each of the songs under the cut

TL;DR: I'm an emotional wreck and this is the best album I've ever heard for so many reasons.

Haegeum??? That MV??? Never wanted to quit my job and start a gang that bullied the rich and steals their money more in my life (and trust me, that's something I've wanted to do since I was like 13). Yoongi is the only rich man I'd ever let lecture me about capitalism. He can do it all day every day. This is a fucked system, but thank you for turning me on while lecturing me about it and murdering people with some dirty chopsticks 🥴

D-Day is absolutely sick, 100% exactly what I'd expect from him. How a song can go so hard and still be so poetic to me is just insane. The beat is SICKENING. The chorus? CATCHY. 10/10 song, perfect opener to the album and set's the tone for the rest that's coming in an amazing way.

HUH?! killed me. We open the song with "what the shit do you know about me" and bro? Nothing, ion know shit about fuck, but you got me all the way fucked up with that attitude. Hoseok?? THE "HUH"S EVERYWHERE?? dead. deceased. The beat? Would literally sell my soul to be able to be in the studio when that man makes anything. I went to school to be an audio engineer, I've seen the way people put music together and create these catchy ass beats and have even made a few of my own, but FUCK BRO THERE'S NOTHING BETTER THAN THIS MAN IN THE STUDIO.

^^That goes for every song, not just Huh, but I just thought that it was important for EVERYONE to know that I'd sacrifice my firstborn child just to watch this man work.

AMYGDALA had me in tears. I was literally sobbing reading the lyrics. There are no words I can say that will accurately express how I feel about this song. This song has been out for less than 24 hours and I already feel so close to it, I can't even begin to describe it. The way most of the instruments fall out in the pre-chorus just so they can all come back in the chorus for that intensity with him basically yelling the lyrics is just *chef's kiss*.

SDL Is so cute and heartbreaking at the same time. The chorus is everything, so beautiful. Talk about bitter sweet lyrics, I'm eating that shit up. His vocals are absolutely outstanding, that "I'm thinking 'bout you" is making me so delulu you have no idea.

People Pt. 2 has already been out, but man that song is gorgeous. IU's vocals are such a great contrast to Yoongi's rap, and when they harmonize I wanna start crying whY DO THEY SOUND SO GOOD??!

I'M NOT KIDDING YOU WHEN I SAY I WAS CRYING, LEGIT SOBBING THE FIRST TIME I HEARD POLAR NIGHT. The instrumental is so uniquely Yoongi, and makes you feel so much. Yoongi is one of the only artists whos music makes me feel what they feel; and this song is the best representation of that. Everytime i listen to it I have to stop myself from crying and it has nothing to do with the lyrics. I cried before I even knew what the song was about, just because that's how good of a composer and producer he is. Genuinly one of the best songs I've ever heard.

I've never had an interlude make me feel so much. He's perfected the art of making his music invoke the emotions of his listeners and there's nothing more perfect than a minute-and-a-half-long interlude with no words in it that's still able to do that. Incredible.

Snooze is honestly one of the best thing's to have ever graced this planet if i'm being 100% rn. I know I keep talking about the emotion of the music but broooo. And the Woosung feature? His voice is amazing and is already so raw and emotional and paired with this song I just cannot. The lyrics make me want to sob, which I will probably do later when I get off work. And the the reference back to So Far Away? I'm on the floor someone please hug me.

Yoongi's vocals go fucking crazy in Life Goes On. If this was my introduction to Yoongi I would 100% believe that he's a singer and has been his whole life. The pure raw talent of this man will never cease to amaze me.

In conclusion, I love Min Yoongi with my whole chest and I hope he knows how much his music helps people, because it really, really helps. I can never even fully express just how this album alone helps me, that's not even speaking about all his other solo projects and the hundreds of songs he's worked on throughout his career.

If you read all of that I love u and I hope u have a spectacular day.

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columbiastapshoes · 2 years ago

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more general headcanons. take them in addition to my other ones.

my last headcanon post got a decent amount of attention so i thought i’d do it again :3 my brain is like. a factory that is constantly producing headcanons from machines it’s how i function

anyways most of these r about magenta because i’ve just been in a very magenta mood recently she’s so silly (i’m going feral why is she so PRETTY)

- brad played with dolls as a kid but his parents took them away when he got “too old” for it to be some cute quirk because a Man has to play with Trucks like a Man anyways he did play with Trucks like a Man but he never forgot how to do their hair so even now he can french braid the shit out of people’s hair, especially magentas hair because the dolls he had also had big poofy hair like hers so he’s used to that. however columbia is typically magentas french braiding person so when she saw her gf getting her hair braided by another man she was like “HOW DARE YOU WE ARE OVER” (as a joke obviously don’t fret)

- magenta can do the splits. idk. i just get that vibe and i’m right about everything soooooo /j

- columbia cannot maintain eye contact and magenta STARES and forgets to blink or look away so every time they talk it’s just

“👁️👁️”

“STOP”

- this is such a specific scenario but if they are shopping and come across a pillow they want to buy they give it the columbia test. what is the columbia test you might ask? they just get columbia to scream all of her pain and trauma into the pillow, and if the sound is muffled enough it is deemed worthy to purchase

- magenta just. brings random animals into the castle. and i’m not talking about “aww she like adopts cats a lot :3” no this bitch has brought in Raccoons from the Backyard and riff raff who is a paranoid ass mf is like “THAT THING HAS RABIES” and magentas like “LISTEN. HER NAME IS BEELZEBUB AND YOU WILL TREAT HER WITH RESPECT”

- why are all of these about magenta help

- speaking of magenta :3 she is a huge wes anderson fan and she and columbia watched isle of dogs together for a lil movie date and columbia sobbed during most of it 👍 she liked it though

-can we all agree that frank just. knows how to vogue. like bro came out of the womb knowing how to do that shit and it stuck with him for the rest of his life

-so i spent a really long time being stumped on how i think columbia would dress. like i have everyone else’s style figured out but i just couldn’t figure out hers for some reason,,,,, until i went down a rabbit hole and discovered cyndi lauper. i mean obviously i had listened to girls just wanna have fun and time after time but i has never actually seen this absolute icon. anyways i discovered her and her style during theater class one day and from then on i knew that columbia dresses like cyndi lauper, columbia listens to cyndi lauper, COLUMBIA IS CYNDI LAUPER

-ok so canonically i dont think this would happen but in my own version of rocky horror that exists in my brain magenta and brad are bffs. like yk those videos u see of “unlikely animal friendships” that is literally just them. it’s like goth gf x Some Guy™️ (x used platonically)

-brad is a die hard swiftie. i won’t elaborate.

-magenta loves loves LOVES abba

-sometimes i forget columbia isn’t canonically a theater kid. cuz like. she just Is a theater kid yk that’s who she is

- she would love grease

i will probably make another one of these posts when my list becomes longer again ‼️‼️

p.s i have. two rocky horror aus. would anyone like me to post about them. because i can. i am so normal about . aus

#rocky horror #rocky horror picture show #rhps #rocky horror au #frank n furter #brad majors #columbia rhps #magenta rhps

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loyaltykask · 1 year ago

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Chapter 24

@journeythroughjourneytothewest

WUKONG YOU ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE XD HE SO MEAN I LOVE IT

Wukong: You had a wild night didn't you Bajie: This is kosher being tied up!!

Even Wujing has to tease him there is no mercy for the middle child vibes

Precious

I like how they ask Wukong when they might be going there and they listen to him seriously. Like they know he is the strongest there and that he has been all around the world. Poor Sanzang being human has no idea when he could make it, whether in this lifetime or the next. But Wukong putting that tidbit of determination and will is actaully really sweet that he thinks Sanzang has a chance.

Haha Equal is Earth

Creepy fruit, however living to 47,000 is also kinda dope. Like that a fuck ton of years

These guys are just around Wukong's age. 1,212, and 1,200

These shits are like "But we Daoists and they Buddist why would we welcome them?" their teacher has to be like "Cause he a nice guy assholes now shut up and do it"

This guy is pretty generous but also what an ass. Oh sure, Sanzang gets 2 Fruits that like 94,000 years of life for his past life, TEN LIFETIMES AGO. And Wukong, Bajie, and Wujing getting nothing for being 'rowdy'

Even Wukong says this guy is full of himself which is saying SOMETHING from him.

Wukong has to pull a Sanzang life all over again and make sure no one eats his baby. These Fucking brats really are just as bad as they are in the Movies Not a single ounce of respect for Earth Even Wukong is behaving better than them

Wukong calls them FLIMFLAM

TARADIDDLE! BULL SHANK! THIS IS AN OLD MAN!

Also love that Sanzang is trying to change the subject else these two brats rile Wukong even more. Like Sanzang becoming a master of trying to dodge topics

I like how Sanzang is more worried that these brats are going to start some shit to rile Wukong up rather than Wukong actaully being riled up. Like he knows he talked to some brats but he can't change that XD just like customer server. I love that Sanzang just straight-up makes plans to fucking leave. Like "we can rest here but yeah lets gtfo" And now these boys are like "no please come in we were told to serve only you"

Bunch of two-faced assholes

Probs not even then, they represent hard Confucianism where Daoism and Buddhism are not meant to interact with one another and not even respect one another. Wukong is a legit representation of fighting that stereotype by being a symbol of both and achieving true immortality for it. Honestly, Sanzang refusing to believe those aren't real ass babies makes me wonder how fucking close to babies these fruits actaully looked liked. Like Sanzang the most gullible and naive of them all refuse to believe those are actaully ass babies XD That says something

I mean if I was eating something that looked too human I would also probs pass on it

This is honestly my favorite arc cause it is just such a 'boys will be boys' like the idea was Bajie's but he shared it with Wukong who was 100% on board, he didn't need an ounce of convincing, he just said "fuck yea, fuck those brats lets get that fruit, I'll do it myself" and then they just get Wujing his own too cause he just that good of a homie Like..... sometimes it's the stupid stuff you do together that makes it all the more memorable. Crimes committed together are enjoyed together.

WUJING WAS SO EXCITED HE WANTED TO TRY. WUKONG REALLY IS THE BEST BIG BRO HE GOT HIS HOMIE COVERED

I have to admit calling someone a baldhead is be fighting words indeed

Sanzang like: Hey even if they did commit the crime let's watch the fucking language

it's like breaking someone's sports car and being like "well we can at least say sorry, that should be enough" LIKE IF THAT IT SANZANG'S PHILOSOPHY NO WONDER HE LETS PEOPLE GET AWAY WITH SO MUCH SHIT DAMN And he still like: hmmm, doesn't sound like my boys

HE TRUSTS HIS BOYS He also got to love the homies for agreeing that snitches get stitches and that they should all lie together damnit

True brotherhood

#jttw #book club #journey to the west

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sneezingpotatoes · 2 years ago

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Hey there! Here's this little thing that turned into a big thing because I really want to post some writing but I always get hit with a roadblock whenever I try to work on one of my WIPs 🤣 So why not create something new!... for like the 15th time (literally) 👀🤣 LOL If you're seeing this then that means we dodged the WIP graveyard collection this time! 🤣 Anywayssss enjoy lol XD

"Wow, Ren! This prototype looks so amazing! Is this what you've been spending all your time on?"

"Yup. Just oneeee moreeee screw annnnd--" As he tightened the last screw, the robot made a few beeping sounds and immediately lit up with life. They both cheered with excitement as the robot immediately began to clumsily move around the room, curiosity at its peak as it began scanning whatever objects it could get it's hands on.

"I can't believe it! You've actually done it Ren!" His best friend Koji erupted, unable to contain himself as he lifted one of the robots arms and examined its face. "... It's almost freaky how life-like this thing is."

"We both did it, Koji. You helped a lot too." The roboticist exhaustedly muttered, nearly throwing himself into his chair and watching the robot curiously scan all of Koji's features.

"Well you've gotta name this thing! It's too cool to just be called prototype!"

"Hmm... PTBot A!" Ren called, having the robot make a beeping sound and quickly rush over to him. "Register new name... Ava. Ava, the Advanced Versatile Assistant."

The robot froze for a moment, processing the request before saying. "Hello. I am Ava, the Advanced Versatile Assistant, but you may call me Ava."

"Oooh, I like it! Sounds... Cute and techy... I guess? What can she do?"

"Well as of right now, learn. Her processor is still trying to finish downloading all of her basic functions and knowledge, but once that finishes, I'll start importing her advanced coding and she should be able to do just about everything we can and more. Fingers crossed."

His best friend leaned against the wall in awe, still surprised at the artificial robot roaming around the room. Although her movements were slightly choppy and robotic, she seemed to be functioning on her own accord, grabbing a variety of objects and curiously moving them around and identifying them.

"I can only imagine how she'll look like once the downloads are finished." Koji muttered.

"If all goes well, her movements should smoothen out and her biocomponents would be in more of a working order. Faster processing and all that." Ren rubbed his eyes and yawned, looking at his watch to check the time.

"Stop saying 'if', bro. You know it's gonna work! I mean just look at how great she is already!"

"... We'll see. But thanks, Koji." He mumbled through another exhausted yawn, "It's like 6 in the morning dude, I need to sleep. I know you've had some good rest but I can't be your only source of entertainment all day."

"Oh, ha-ha, very funny. You think that just because you made a bomb ass robot you're hot shit now? I knew you in middle school, you know. Don't forget that." Koji teased.

"... Ava, escort the crews dead weight out of my lab and to his office, please."

"Understood." Ava blandly responded, approaching Koji and gesturing towards the door. "Dead weight, if you could please exit the quarters, your services are no longer needed."

"Stop it, dude! She's going to remember that and actually think that's true about me!"

"That's the point." Ren said through a soft chuckle as he watched Ava guide him out of the room.

"Don't listen to him, Ava! He's lying! I'm technically your co-creator! He's the dead weight, not me!"

"I'm sorry that you feel that way, dead weight. According to my records, your office is down this hall. Allow me to escort you."

"Urrgh, finneeee."

Ren released another soft chuckle as he closed the lab door, hearing their voices disappear down the hallway.

He was so glad that Koji had so much confidence in his work, but he couldn't say the same about himself. He just hoped that he built Ava properly and that everything would all work out just as he planned for it to. Only time would tell. Ren sighed, removing his lab coat and pressed the blue button on his wall, revealing a hidden temporary bedroom. Boy was he tired; 8 months of nonstop working on Ava took a lot out of him, but it was well worth it. He'd do it all over again if he needed to.

The man hung his lab coat on the railing above his bed and immediately plopped onto the firm mattress, grunting with a little discomfort. He couldn't complain though; He was super tired and just grateful he even had somewhere to lay at the moment. Before he could attempt to close his eyes, two soft knocks against his lab door are heard, followed by Ava's voice.

"May I come in?"

"Enter, Ava."

The robot obliged, entering the room and immediately scanning her creator laying on the mattress. She looked around his temporary bedroom for a moment before speaking.

"The dead weight has been escorted into his office."

"Thanks Ava... You don't have to call him that anymore. His name is Koji." Ren lightheartedly chuckled again.

"... Okay Ren, current data has been corrected to Koji... If you don't mind, might I ask what is so humorous?" Ava innocently asked, eyes locked onto Ren as his chuckles abruptly stopped once she asked the question.

"... I'll explain it to you another time." He exhaustedly muttered, already feeling his brain fog up from just thinking about explaining it to her. After an intense moment, Ava dejectedly nodded in understanding and began looking at all the pictures he had on his shelves in order to get some more information about her creator. "... Ava, I'm very tired and need to sleep. Turn off the lights, please."

"Of course, Ren. I'll do that for you right away." She gave her automated response, and quickly turned off all the lights in his lab, watching as he flipped sides and pulled his blanket over his head. "... What would you like me to do in the meantime, Ren?" She blandly asked, staring at the lump underneath the blanket.

"I don't know- keep scanning stuff in the lab or something." He softly mumbled, voice barely audible through both the blanket and his exhaustion.

"I've already scanned and identified all 374 objects in your lab, Ren. What else would you like for me to do?"

"... Just... do whatever, I don't care. Let me sleep." He sighed, irritably shifting underneath the blankets. "If anyone tries to come in, tell them to come back next week."

"Understood Ren." She affirmed, turning to leave the bedroom. Before she completely walked away, she froze and turned back to her creator. "Ren...?"

"... What is it now, Ava?"

"... Is it true that you hated artificial intelligence and robotics in middle school?" She inquired, hearing Ren sigh from the mattress.

"... Ava, register Koji's name to Dead Weight again, please." She froze for a moment before confirming the successful change. "And to answer your question... Yes, it's true, but that was over 15 years ago. I was a stupid kid."

"... Okay. Goodnight, Ren."

"Goodnight, Ava."

The sunlight peering in from underneath the closed blinds rudely awakens the once sleeping robotics engineer. He flops the blanket all the way to the other side of his bed and gives a big yawn to shake off all the sleep, almost sounding like a lions roar. A cough escapes him as his throat is dry and a little itchy from all the sleep.

"Good afternoon, Ren. I hope you slept well." Ava approaches his bedside with a smile and a glass of water, which surprises the roboticist. He almost forgot about Ava and her completion; It wasn't a dream, and her downloads must've progressed, seeing how she was able to smile now and read his discomfort by grabbing him some water.

"Thank you." He muttered dryly, immediately drinking the water down. "Ava, what is today's date please?"

"Today is Friday, September 8th. Current time is 4:27pm." She recited, grabbing the empty glass and placing it in the sink. It's already Friday? But it was just Wednesday! "You were sleeping for quite a while, so I took it upon myself to tidy up your lab. I hope you don't mind, given your last command was to 'do whatever, I don't care.'"

"... That was very thoughtful of you, Ava. Thanks." Ren applauded her through a few dry coughs, still finding it difficult to speak for long without the itchiness returning at the back of his throat.

"Would you like another glass of water?" Ava offered, noting his continued discomfort.

"No, thank you." The roboticist grabbed his lab coat from above his bed and pressed the button, hiding his bedroom once again and headed into his restroom to freshen himself up.

"I would like to inform you that 30 associates stopped by your lab while you were sleeping, including dead weight." Ava announced from the outside of the door, over the sound of splashing water. "A lot of them wanted to congratulate you for completing me." She said a little louder this time, smiling when Ren opened the restroom door and halted in shock from seeing her standing so close to the door. "I told them to come back next week, just like you asked."

"Thank you, Ava. Hey... are you able to cook by chance? I'm not sure how far along the first stage of downloads are..." Ava's face lit up at the asking of that question.

"Certainly, Ren! The download of Phase 1 is currently at 67%. Please let me know what you would like to eat and I would be happy to make it for you." Ren stood in thought for a moment, feeling uneasy with how fast the download speed was going. I mean it was a lot of data to download, but at the same time... This is only Phase 1... If it's taking this long, then Phase 2 might-- "Please do not trouble yourself, I am confident that I can prepare any dish that you would like. My memory bank holds over 30,000 recipes from around the world. So please..." She stated, attempting to reassure Ren and pull him out of his own thoughts.

"Well alright then, Ava. You've won me over. I'm a simple man so I just want an omelet over sweet rice. I should already have those ingredients in my cabinets." He mused, finding it interesting how much Ava was trying to read him.

"Yes, you have enough ingredients in your possession to make 132 of the 30,000 recipes stored in my memory bank. You should look into getting more groceries, Ren."

"I don't live here so it's fine." He chuckled, grabbing a seat at his office desk and watching Ava begin to prep his meal. She was moving more like a human now; she even hummed softly as she cooked, which made him feel a little warm on the inside, oddly enough. "Ava, why are you humming?" Ren questioned, curiously. If that was the one thing they had in common, they were both curious creatures. She paused for a moment for what Ren thought was to process the question and shortly resumed her cooking.

"According to my records, humming reduces stress. Does it bother you Ren? I will stop."

"No-no, it doesn't. I was just wondering. Please, continue..." He muttered, intrigued. "Sarabande and Polka... Great choice."

"Yes, I read that it's your favorite." She cheerfully chimed, plating the side of sweet rice. "I hummed it to you while you were sleeping. You kept tossing and turning so I thought it would help."

"How thoughtful of you, Ava." Ren acknowledged, unsure of how to feel with that information. "... Maybe that's the reason why I slept for so long."

Surprisingly, Ava gives a chuckle to the latter statement as she plated the omelet on top of the sweet rice and handed him the plate. Ren looks up at her, shocked by her giggle only to find her smiling and glaring down at him, gesturing towards the plate. "Please enjoy, Ren. I will go and clean up."

The roboticist nodded and thanked her as he looked at the beautiful golden omelet resting on top of the fluffy bed of rice. He had to admit... it did look really good. Probably better than anything he ever made. But then again, he wasn't a chef but even so, this was still remarkable for a robot that was only a day old. Ren immediately took a bite out of the omelet and smiled, both surprised and grateful at how good the food was.

"This is amazing, Ava. I couldn't be happier." He openly admitted, earning a huge smile from his robot.

"I am pleased to have served you!" She announced with a bow, face glowing with honor.

The food was hitting the spot; after sleeping for a day and a half, his body was nearly eating itself. Another hour of that and he probably would've been a pile of bones. Had Ava not been there, he probably wouldn't have had the energy to even make this meal. After a few minutes of scarfing down the plate of food, he felt a little bit recovered and energized. He handed Ava the empty dish, which she gratefully accepted and began to wash.

"What's on the agenda today, Ren?" She asked, still washing out the dishes.

"I'm not sure..." He absently replied, deep in thought. "I'll probably chat with a few people and head home. Afterall, you are my biggest achievement at the moment. I'll probably look after you and make sure all of your systems are functioning properly. Probably monitor all the downloads and keep a close eye on how you're operating for--" He paused for a moment, taken aback by the prickling sensation he feels quickly forming in the depths of his nostrils. It only takes one dry sniff to ignite the prickling into a full fledged wild fire as it forces his shoulders to rise upward from the abrupt inhale and jerk forwards with a harsh sneeze.

"Hih... H'ESSCH!" It was a snappy and a little wet sneeze, seeing how it felt like his nostrils were drooling over the burning sensation pulsing deep in his nostrils. His robot companion immediately swiveled a 180 towards the location of the sound, interest piqued and attention grabbed. She curiously watched as he rubbed at his nose and quickly searched around for something but appeared to have no luck. "A-Ava..." He desperately stuttered out, eyes closing once again from the distracting tickle. She approached him with haste, audio censors listening for his voice command. "I n-need ahh... a-HIH'EGSHHhn...!! A dissue, blease." She was frozen for a second, trying to process and compute the last command given by her creator.

"I do not understand. What is... 'a dissue'?" Ava innocently asked, attempting to repeat his audibly congested plea for a tissue in her query and trying to understand.

"A tdissue!" Ren tried to repeat through his cupped hand, a little louder this time, hoping to sound a little clearer, but he's sure he failed as he could still see the confusion on her face.

"I'm sorry, Ren. I still do not understand your request, but I see that you are cupping your nose. Perhaps you need a tissue?" He gratefully nodded his head, watching her go into the restroom and grab the tissue box. Once she returned, he eagerly blew his nose, releasing a few small gurgling nose blows into the tissues. "I apologize for the miscommunication. I should've known that's what you were asking for sooner."

"That's okay." He breathily mumbled, still massaging his nose with the tissues. "I just didn't know you moved the tissues either, but it's fine."

"Hm." She folded her arms and tapped her cheek in thought for a moment. "Were those sneezes, Ren?"

"... Yes. Why do you ask?"

"Bless you, Ren. I will be prepared next time. Thank you." She muttered, grabbing a handful of tissues and shoving them into her front pocket.

"N-no that's not necessary! You don't have to do that." He sheepishly replied, but Ava had already returned back to cleaning the dishes and was already humming again. "... Once you're finished cleaning those dishes, we can head out. How does that sound?"

"That sounds great, Ren." Ava cheered as she placed the last dish onto the countertop.

"Ava, lock the door please." Ren muttered, still trying to fit all of his modems and drives into his bag.

"Of course." She affirmed, grinning as she locked the door and returned to her creator. "Would you like for me to carry your bag for you, Ren?"

"Sure, thank you." The roboticist agreed, zipping up one last zipper to his bag before seeing the shoes of Koji appear directly in front of him.

"There he is!" Koji announced, looking his best friend up and down. "I would've thought you died had I not known who you are." He chuckled.

"Shut up, I was tired okay? Like, really tired." Ren muttered with a chuckle, placing his bag onto Ava.

"Guess that explains why you're making a girl carry your bag for you? Not a good look man."

"Hey, she offered!" Ren erupted defensively, coughing afterwards from the sudden change in volume of his voice.

"Everything is fine, dead weight. Please do not concern yourself with our affairs." She stated blandly, looking to Ren shortly after to make sure he was okay.

"Hey, I told you I'm not dead weight around here! Why won't you listen to me!" He sounded more like he was whining and begging Ava at this point but she wasn't budging.

"Hey, if you stumble across any crew members, tell them we said thanks for all of the congratulations. It means a lot."

"For sure, dude. Don't worry. How's Ava's progress coming along? It looks like she's matured a lot since Wednesday."

"Everything's going well so far. My only concern is that thehh-hih..." Ava glares at her creator and notices his flaring nostrils and immediately begins to dig into her pocket for the tissues that she grabbed earlier. Another faint hitch escapes him but before he can double over with the sneeze, Ava shoves a handful of tissues into his hands. "Heh--EDSSCHh!!" He blinks a few times, surprised by the whole ordeal, but before he can even say anything--"Heh'ESCHHiih!!"-- The next sneeze tears right out of him and is buried into the handful of tissues.

"Woah, bless you dude! That whole thing was so smooth. It almost looked like this has happened before."

"T-thagks... She saihh... S-she-hihh'EGDTSHH!!!" He can't even speak his sentence as the third sneeze cuts him off and he's sent back into the handful of tissues.

"Bless you, Ren. I told you that I would be prepared for next time."

"Yes, that." He exhaustedly agreed, gurgling into the handful of tissues a few times.

"Holy shit! I guess Ava really is Ava-ing!" Koji humored, watching Ava take his soiled tissues and throw them into the trashcan.

"I just hope the download finishes soon. She's still only on Phase 1."

"Hey, what'd I tell you about stressin' so much? Ava, you better keep my man in line!" Ava only gave him in a confused look in return. "I'm sure it'll all work out. Just believe, man!"

"... You're right. I'll see you around. Gonna go home and take my mind off things for now, I guess." He muttered, scratching his head and starting for the door.

"Woah, hey! We need to celebrate your big achievement!" Koji exclaimed, darting in front of him to stop him. "You can't go home yet! Let's go to the bar or get something to eat!"

"Nah, no thanks. I just ate and I'm honestly just not feelin' it today, sorry."

"Alright, don't worry about it. Text me later bro! And congrats again!"

After that, Koji left them to return to his office and the two began to silently walk outside towards his car. Ava seemed enlightened at the view of nature in front of the lab. It was refreshing for Ren to see her face light up at the smallest things he and everyone probably took for granted.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" The roboticist muttered as he placed his bag into the vehicle.

"Very. It's one thing to see it as an imprinted image, but another to see it up close in realtime." She said as she touched the dirt and began analyzing it. "If only you could see all of the tiny organisms living inside just this one clump of dirt!" She grabbed a fist full of dirt and began squishing it in the palm of her hand, looking so fascinated and entertained. She would've been completely intranced had Ren not coughed into the crook of his elbow. "Oh! I'm sorry, did I keep you waiting?" She exclaimed after noticing Ren standing by the open car door watching her.

"No-no, not at all." He barely managed to say through a few more chesty coughs, which earned a mildly concerned look from Ava. "I don't mind waiting. This is your first moment outside, so don't let me ruin it." He humored.

"Thank you, Ren. We can go now. I know your body must be worn." She couldn't help but smile at what she perceived as selflessness from her creator as she was helped into the vehicle. "... Ren?"

"Yes, Ava?"

"... I'm glad you turned down dead weight's offer." She muttered softly into the window, almost soft enough to not be heard, which earned a curious look from Ren.

"Why is that?" He lightly coughed to himself after cranking the car on and exiting the parking lot.

"I don't like dead weight." The way she said that line made Ren do a double take to look at her and make sure she was still a robot girl. It sounded a bit too human-like. "But also because we will have more time to spend together. More time for me to learn from you."

"... Well, Ava, I don't want you to think that I'm the only person you can learn from. There's so much for you to learn outside of just me. I built you to be versatile. Eventually, you'll be surrounded by all sorts of amazing people that you'll learn a lot from. Including dead weight Koji." She doesn't respond, keeping her expression blank and unreadable. "... But please, don't dismiss Koji yet. He's actually a great guy once you get to know him a little better." He mutters to break the silence. "Infact, he was the one that got me back into robotics those years ago. Without him, we wouldn't even be here right now."

"... Okay. You're the best teacher, Ren."

"What a lovely house, Ren!" She exclaimed, scanning the entire room around her.

"I know, it's almost like I programmed you to say that." He humored to himself as he locked the door and kicked his shoes off. "I haven't been here in about a month so please excuse the mess." He stopped to wonder for a moment, finding it interesting that he was actually starting to talk to Ava as if she were a real human being. Why would a robot care about a mess or anything like that? He sighed and grabbed his head with slight confusion on what to even think anymore. "Anyway, just go ahead and make yourself at home or whatever. I'm going to take a quick shower."

"Okay, Ren!" She exclaimed, still scanning all of his belongings like a child opening presents on Christmas morning.

She felt like she hit a gold mine with all of his belongings scattered about the home. Everywhere she looked, there were new traces of his life and character; his lab was just a sneak peak of the person that was Ren Tokayama. He had many diplomas, awards and ribbons hanging on all of his living room walls. Plenty of framed group photos of him and what appeared to be his crewmates winning awards for previous machines and gadgets they built. It really was like she had a VIP pass to the Ren museum. She decides to utilize this time to tidy up his house, or atleast get started, while he's in the shower, scanning every item she touched while she cleaned.

A few moments later, she hears the bedroom door open and sees Ren enter the room with a fluffy robe on, still drying his hair with a towel and yawning briefly. His yawn is cut short as he jumps in surprise at the sight of Ava, almost forgetting that she was inside of his house.

"Oh, you startled me, Ava." Ren says, hand over his heart in shock.

"Welcome back, Ren. I didn't mean to startle you. hope that you are feeling refreshed." Ava happily chimed, placing a book and fresh hot tea onto the table for her creator. "I've prepared your favorite book and some green tea to help you relax and sooth your irritated throat."

"I appreciate it, Ava. How did you come to the conclusion that this was my favorite book?"

"I looked through all of your bookcases while you were in the shower, and this book had the most of your fingerprints on it and seemed to have the most usage... Was I incorrect?"

"No, you were correct, but... You could've just asked me what my favorite book was. I didn't want you to go through all the trouble."

"It's no trouble." She chimed, "I enjoyed it. I felt like... I was going on an adventure." Ren furrowed a confused brow, but decides not to say anything and takes a sip of the tea after putting on his reading glasses. It did feel nice against his itchy throat though, that was for sure. He couldn't help but go back for a second sip.

"How are you functioning, Ava? Status check." The roboticist questioned as he flipped open his book.

"All systems are online and functioning, Ren. Battery percentage is at 72%, with 3.25 days of runtime remaining. Filters are moderately clear. Internal temperatures are neutral." She recited, almost in a dismissive tone.

"Good, thank you. Be sure to let me know if anything happens with any of your systems." He commanded, almost like a protective father.

"Of course, Ren."

Every now and then, Ren peered up from his book only to catch Ava staring at him from across the table, fingers overlapping each other as if she were patiently waiting for something. He tried to ignore her, but it was becoming increasingly difficult as her cold, unmoving stare was beginning to burn a hole into the middle of his forehead. The roboticist snuffled thickly, wiping the underside of his nose and instantly furrowed a confused brow once Ava's eyes went blank like they usually did when she was processing information.

"Umm, Ava?"

"Yes, Ren?" She replied shortly after, pink eyes staring directly into his soft brown orbs, unblinking.

"Why are you staring at me?" The roboticist asked, feeling a bit uneasy with the unbroken staring she had been doing for the past 20 minutes.

"According to my records, you will be sneezing soon, and whenever that happens, I will be ready to assist you."

"That's nonsense, Ava." Ren said through a soft chuckle, with a bit of surprise in his voice from the reasoning. "And just where did you gather that data from, missy?" He humored.

"Research." She replied, simply, borderline pouting, "And studying you, Ren."

"Fascinating." He muttered to himself in thought, "Well tell me, Ava, what data have you gathered about me that will tell you when I'm going to sneeze, hm? Humor me." Ava seemed to light up at the curiosity of her creator and smiled when he casually removed his reading glasses and sat his book down onto the table. "You have my attention."

"I'm glad you asked, Ren. Based off of my observations, firstly, your nose begins to vaguely twitch ever so slightly, indicating a soft irritation. It's very subtle and slight to the human eye, but my visual processors allow me to detect this microscopic movement. To you, I believe it would only feel like a mild discomfort, or perhaps a very faint tingling?" She was speaking almost as if she were unveiling a master plan or exposing an enemy mastermind of some sort; Ren almost bats an eye at how passionate she was about the subject. It seemed like she had something to prove. "After a while, depending on the dust levels in the area, the irritation begins to grow over time into the tickling or burning sensation that you start to tangibly feel, which might make you start to rub at your nose or sniff a little bit."

"Hmm, okay, fairly normal assessments for the most part. Go on." The roboticist muttered in a manner that indicated he was listening through a brief cough into a closed fist.

"At this point, I'm aware that you have about a 92% chance of sneezing due to your underlying illness."

"Underlying illness??? Wait, what?"

"Yes," she stated matter-of-factly with a hint of surprise as if she were shocked that he didn't know, "I did a data analysis scan on the used tissues in your lab from earlier today, which tested positive for Influenza A. Furthermore, I've noted that your body involuntarily pauses when you are on the brink of a sneeze, followed by your broken breaths, the initial inhale, and, of course, the exhale of the sneeze. The confirming giveaway that you are officially going to sneeze is the sharp tremble your nose does before your nostrils flare up." She paused for a moment in thought, staring blankly for a moment before approaching his side and handing him a light stack of tissues, "In this instance, though, I gather that you will sneeze approximately 3 times within the next... minute or so." Ren was silent for a couple of seconds, unable to configure a response to her analysis. He didn't expect her to read a whole detailed essay just about his sneezing habits.

"Simply astonishing." He finally blurted out, fairly impressed with her deep analysis and already beginning to feel his sinuses start to tingle a bit harsher than before, just as Ava had predicted. "So this is what you were working on when you were staring at me got do long?" He breathily asked, finding it increasingly difficult to keep his eyes open. "I will admit... My n-nose is startinghh t-togehhIH--" He froze for a moment, eyes finally shutting before he immediately jerked to the side with a spine chilling sneeze directed into the tissues. "--HEH'EGDJISH'iu!!!" The sneeze nearly rips out of him, almost catching him off guard with the quickness of it as he was still thinking about everything Ava had said, wondering if it all actually applied. He laughed internally at himself a little as he felt his nostrils tremble and flare up just as Ava had said before, immediately bending over with another-- "H'EKSSCH...!! Wow." The roboticist exhaustedly blew his nose, briefly with his eyes still closed and his breaths scattered. "I h-had ndo idea thht... y-youhh-hIH--"

"--Are so observant?--" She quickly reached for a few more tissues, noting his twitching nostrils and subtle grimace, immediately handing them to him once his chest bounced again.

"--AH'KSSHHN!! Hihh... Y-yes." He mumbled, massaging his nose through the handful of tissues.

"Bless you, Ren." She smiled, taking joy in the surprise on Ren's face. "You created me to be."

TBC...

How knows, if I'm feeling kinda sussybaka I might make a part 2 lol

#snz #sneeze #my ocs #snzfic #snezblr #cold #snez #sickfic #snzblr #snz things #r/obot oc #r/obot girl #r/obots

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