#bring me back 2009 Noir

[ghostingcrows]

One day I will return to my roots and make a long ass post hyper analyzing all the new comic Noir appearances post Geddon and why they suck and why I hate them

But until then

Just know

I fucking hate this man

[brown-spider]

AU where Noir gets hired to investigate a sudden string of missing property/legal issues that's damaging local businesses in Brooklyn (think Museum mission from Insomniac's Spider-Man 2), and Hobie (Prowler) is his main informant

(^ these versions of the mfs, for visual reference)

Spiderman has a violent encounter with the Prowler and sees Hobie unmasked- then later, Robbie (reporter for the Bugle) manages to drag Peter into taking on a case for his neighborhood, where he's introduced to the man closest to the action: Hobie 🙂

Sidenote, I think it would be Very funny if Peter’s civilian identity is a private eye but everyone knows about The Spider always helping him. Like, "yeah Im a private eye and so is that vigilante guy and yes he for some reason only gives ME his leads but we are totally not the same person"

[foolsocracy]

With all the age discourse around Spider-Man Noir right now, I thought I’d compile parts of the comic that imply his age. I want to state that this pulling from his 2009-2010 comic run before the time skip, specifically the first volume. The spiderverse movie has taken a lot of liberties with the characters, so it is very possible that what Peters age is in 1933 in the comics is NOT what his age is in 1933 in the movies.

Peter’s age is not directly stated in his 1st comic run (I can’t speak for the 2020 ones because it has been a while since I read them, plus there’s like a 10 year jump). It IS however heavily implied that he is young. So much so that you can’t seem to go more than a page without someone referencing it.

Like, these all happen in the same scene. The writers beat you over the head with it.

In this issue alone Peter is called both “son” and “sonny” once, “boy” twice, and “kid” 8 times. Outside nouns, he is also referred to as young, and when Urich brings him to The Black Cat, Felicia calls it “babysitting.” Urich also asks Peter if he is “allowed out after midnight” but after some research I can’t seem to find any evidence of NYC having juvenile curfews at this point in time, though they did exist in lots of towns in the late 1800s and early 1900s because of child labor laws. I think this instance is just Pete just being young and an adult being concerned about his well-being.

It is also mentioned in this volume, and again in Eyes Without a Face (vol 2), that Peter wants to go to college in the future and is currently studying & saving up money to do so. This alone doesn’t necessarily mean he’s under 18 as there isn’t a max age to apply for college, plus Peter comes from a poor family during the Great Depression. It wouldn’t surprise me if he started college later than usual because of that (lack of funds & catching up due to not being in school/working).

There is other evidence that does imply he is under 18 though— he’s too young to drink alcohol!

Spider-Man Noir Vol 1 issue 1 starts in January 1933 before jumping back three weeks to December 1932 where Ben Urich meets Peter Parker

It is during December 1932 that he meets Felicia Hardy who owns the speakeasy The Black Cat. Prohibition is still in place and won’t be overwritten until a year later in December 1933. It is important to note that before Prohibition was instated, the drinking age in New York was 18 years old. That law is what the characters reference when they discuss drinking age. And most importantly, Peter doesn’t deny the fact that he’s too young to drink. He just snarks back in true Parker fashion

This is the most concrete evidence there is towards Peter being under 18 in the noirverse. It can even be argued that Peter is under 17 with how easily Felicia picks up on the fact that he’s underage (and that she does so from a distance might I add, as seen in the ‘babysitting’ panel).

There is also a panel where JJJ refers to Peter as an “orphan.” By definition, an orphan is a kid under 18. This is JJJ, so this can be taken with a grain of salt as he loves good ol hard-hitting words. When people speak they don’t always use words by their exact definitions; sometimes if you’re young and your parents are dead, JJJ is going to label you an orphan even if ur a legal adult lol. But if you take this at face value it’s definitely another indicator that Peter is under 18.

TLDR; Spider-Man Noir from his 2009-2010 comic run is most likely under 18, and can be argued to be 15-16+. If not that, then is definitely college aged or younger.

[tiredmagicalwarrior]

I think one of the things I appreciated the most about Nocturne was the protagonism on the Haitian Revolution.

This was a revolution that didn't just change Haiti, it changed the world. This was the revolution that would make the first black state. The first slaveless state. That would make every slave nation tremble with fear, from Europe To America to Asia to Oceania to Africa. It was what was never meant to happen, but did.

It's the nation that would defeat Napoleon and the British marine. Nobody could take down Haiti. You know why Napoleon went to colonize Europe? Haiti. That's why. He couldn't take down Haiti. Couldn't make it french territory again. So, he turned towards Europe.

We are talking about an undefeated nation.

AND! AND! A largely Vodu nation!

I was SO happy to see Vodu be portrayed as the wonderful religion it is, sacred and divinely intertwined with the Haitian revolution. The revolution was noted to start with Vodu chants and ritual.

White people refused to understand the link between the two worlds that could bring ancestors to meet their descendants. They created zombies as a horror trope. They made vodu dolls as a horror gimmick. They took a sacred religion and reduced it and vilanized it.

And I'm so happy to see it being positively portrayed in such a famous media. Vodu practicioners have already made media of the like. But I was positively surprised with what Nocturne had to present to us.

Of course, the knowledge that the french revolution was incomplete, that it was NOT FOR EVERYONE, is then again, something I really appreciate as a history student and a person. The french revolution killed mostly peasent and established the bourgeoisie, but did it end the Noir Code? No. Did it establish women's and black people's suffrage? No. Did it make a agrarian reform? No. Was it for the people? It had it's importance. But it was, at the very least, not for all the people.

And let's not forget that the french revolution's main intellectual current would birth biological racism, an unscientific current that claimed evidence of "different sized skulls" for example to prove humans possessed different races based on phenotypes.

Last, but certainly not least: it is absurd to see people claim that "all indigenous people have been killed". Acknowledging multi-ethnic indigenous genocide HAS to go along with the respect that there STILL are indigenous people and they continue their fight for their lives and land.

You know who the show demonstrates as such? Olrox.

While I don't appreciate the show claiming "all of his people were slaughtered" as that is historically inaccurate, I was most happy to see an Aztec vampire present and very alive, connected to his culture, protagonizing the show. The Nahua are still very much alive and kicking and I appreciated that the show took that into account.

And Annette! Sweet Annette being one of the leads makes me most joyful. I can't stand idiots that claim her presence.on France was """historically innacurate""", check again, dumbasses, free black people were all over France (especially the children of black Caribbean elites, for example, from Haiti back then known as Saint-Domingue, which did not possess universities and would sent their children to study in Europe.)

Anyway. To see her star as one of the leads made me so incredibly happy. She's a wonderful character and I appreciate how they let Annette be unapologetic and direct, especially during a moment between revolutions were she was very aware the french revolution didn't mean shit to her people.

But she was so lovely and to see her afro-caribean religion present AND source of her power made me emotional more than a few times.

Castlevania Nocturne really did hit this nail on the head.

Anyways. To make sure I give people answers to "but where's the evidence to x thing you said?" Here are my sources:

THYLEFORS, Markel; “Our Government is in Bwa Kayiman:”A Vodou Ceremony in 1791 and its Contemporary Significations, 2009

DUBOIS, Laurent; Avengers of the New World : the story of the Haitian Revolution, 2004

BUCK-MORSS, Susan; Hegel, Haiti and universal history, 2009

[mcgnagallsarmy]

My favourite Spuffy fics from the past 15 years

2006:

The Other Side of Midnight by Holly [NC-17] - I’m actually not 100% sure this is from 2006

In the months following the destruction of Sunnydale, Buffy cuts herself off from her friends and resumes life the only way she knows how: fighting evil. It’s only a matter of time before her past catches up with her, and brings about the man she lost and loved too late…only he doesn’t recognize her face.

2007:

Fantasie Segrete by Holly [NC-17]

The Slayer’s friends treat a very reluctant Buffy to a Valentine’s Day surprise in hopes of uplifting her spirits.

2008:

The Writing on the Wall by Holly [NC-17]

There was no body to bury. There was no funeral. There was nothing but the three rules and the knowledge that a thousand years of torment was nothing compared to a world without her in it. Spike embarks on a journey through the Gates of Hell to rescue the one he loves, but in order to save her, he must risk losing himself.

2009:

Ars Poetica by Lirazel [R]

The story of her life with Spike, Buffy realizes, is written in poetry, not prose.

2010:

West of the Moon, East of the Sun by KnifeEdge [NC-17] - like there was ever any question what anybody’s favourite is from this year

I keep having the strangest dream. Every night it's the same thing: a dark room, a big bed, and a silent vampire that I can feel, but not see. I'd be wigged, except it's just a dream, right? It'll be a cold day in hell before I ever willingly sleep with a vampire again...

2011:

A Way to You. by Dorians Kitten [NC-17]

William "Spike" Pratt is reluctantly performing a good deed when he meets Buffy Summers. He's enchanted. He's also stuck in the friend zone. Will he find a way to show her that he could be so much more before she marries someone else?

2012:

Letters to a Friend by ginar369 [PG-13] - as it turns out I read exactly 13 fics from 2012 but none of them really stuck with me; this one was the most memorable one though

Spike makes a different decision during Lover's Walk and finds friendship, acceptance and even love. Eventually Spuffy.

2013:

Chasing Heaven by Holly [NC-17]

He watched her pause, watched her trembling hand form a fist and unfurl again. So unlike the Buffy he knew, the Buffy preserved in his memory. That Buffy would have smarted off and popped him in the nose for daring to share her space. This Buffy did neither.

2014:

Found by CupcakeCute [PG-13]

Begins between TGIQ and Power Play, continues post-NFA. Buffy learns of Spike's resurrection from an unlikely source and immediately sets out to make things right as The Apocalypse breaks out in L.A. Spike/Buffy pairing, some Angel/Cordelia.

2015:

His Girl by Sigyn [G]

What is it really like living with a vampire? Presuming all goes well, after everything, and Spike and Buffy live happy-ever-after... ish.

2016:

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Sunalso [Adult Only]

Buffy has fallen into darkness and been forced to become a ghost in her own past.  Only she didn't come back alone. What will it take to overcome depression, obsession, and death so that she can learn to live, love, and laugh again.

2017:

A Different Kind of Hell by OffYourBird [NC-17] - it was really difficult to decide between this and The Darkling, but while TD blows my mind, nothing will ever compare to ADKoH and the Jumpverse in my mind

Jumping through Glory's tower portal, Buffy and Spike find themselves in a hell dimension they never expected. One that looks suspiciously like 1880's London. Will they find a way back home? Will the truth behind William the Bloody at last make itself known? Will Buffy ever stop butchering the Queen's English? Join them and find out. Starts off at the end of "The Gift."

2018:

Her Champion. by Loup Noir [NC-17]

As Buffy wanders the chaotic Sunnydale, she is struck by a sudden epiphany about her friends. Realising that only one person stood by her unquestionably, even when she made mistakes and stumbled on her path, Buffy decides that for once, she is going to fight for what she wants. After fending off an attempt on her life by The First, she storms back to her house to confront the friends who betrayed her. With only Spike standing by her once again as her friends floundered, Buffy heads off to fight her final battle. And along the way, she finally opens her heart to the vampire who fought to be a Champion. To be Her Champion.

2019:

A Matter Of Taste by Twinkles [Adult Only]

A potentially horrifying story of lust, blood and hunger when the world turns inside out. Set shortly before Buffy vs Dracula; Riley left town at the end of S4.

2020:

The Blue Eye of the Storm by MaggieLaFey [NC-17] - this is probably my all time favourite fic ever!

Instead of the Scythe, what Buffy finds under the vineyard is a portal to another dimension. Spike has followed her there, and it’s the two of them that will cross the portal… and remain trapped on the other side for far longer than they’d expected. What will happen when the two of them—plus a local guide—are away from the stress of Chez Summers? Will they find some peace in the eye of the storm?

+1: Poetry by William Pratt - VERSUS by SPIKE by MissLuci [R] - I absolutely cannot imagine not mentioning this fic, because it’s just soo good

Present day - happily married and mated for years, Buffy and Spike move into a new place.  As Buffy is putting things away, she finds a small journal.  Opening it up, she’s surprised to discover it’s a collection of poetry, written by Spike, before and after he was turned. Buffy is intrigued and she begins to read, reflecting on their life as each poem unfolds. -  A story in three parts.

2021:

World Enough, and Time by toooldforthis [R]

“You came back wrong,” he told her, all those years ago. He was right, but it took them a very long time to realise exactly what that meant. It meant a hundred more apocalypses, a thousand battles. It meant a journey, a prophecy, a war. They’d lose one other, and find their way back, and choose, again and again. And all the while, the earth was failing. There are a lot more people than you think who are here for the long haul – like, the really long haul. This is a story about two of them.

+1: Grace by Soulburnt [NC-17]

In the aftermath of 'Dead Things,' Buffy fears that Spike has dusted.  She doesn't think she can survive the world she's been pulled back into without him.  When she finds he's alive, Buffy takes a chance at reclaiming her own life by sharing her time, words... and even her blood.

[minettestan]

Do you have a tag for games you recommend? I'm always looking for new games and my experience with point and click or 90s computer games is sorely lacking.

💕My favorite question💕 I took one of my old posts and updated it, so here!

💕 Personal Favorite

💀 Scary Content

👧 Female Protagonist

✨ Important to the genre’s history

📚 Tricky for new players, look up controls or a walkthrough to get started

❕  Difficult

👿 Potential insensitive content

The Colonel’s Bequest (1989) $5.99 💕✨👧💀❕📚

“It is the year 1925, and the roaring '20s are well underway. As Laura Bow, young college student, you've been invited to visit the Colonel's isolated estate. Watch as the Colonel announces his intention to bequeath his millions to all present!”

The classic Sierra murder mystery game, developed by the mother of the genre Roberta Williams. Laura Bow is a sorely overlooked female protagonist. The game works by navigating Laura and typing in commands, kinda of tricky at first. Tons of game overs are a hallmark of a Sierra adventure game so save often! If you play the GOG.com version you get the benefit of autosaves. This game runs a timer, the events of the night will unfold with or without you so stay on your toes and keep moving! The game can be found for free here, but imo the $5.99 is worth it for the easy of access.

The Dagger of Amon-Ra (1992) $5.99 👧✨❕📚👿💀

“Laura Bow, intrepid heroine of The Colonel's Bequest, is back! This time she's trapped in a huge, imposing museum in the dead of night, surrounded by socialites, miscreants, thieves...and a cold, relentless murderer.“

Roberta Williams is back! Iconic game, iconic heroine. It’s still a Sierra game so like TCB there are tons of (iconic) game overs, so save often. Solving puzzles in this one gives me a great serotonin rush. Unfortunately, this game has some racism issues, particularly with the characters Lo Fat and Ramses. While an important game in the genre take it with a huge grain of salt and maybe turn of the (kind of awful) voice acting and enable text-only mode and you’ll avoid some awful accents.

Sam & Max: Hit the Road (1993) $5.99 💕✨

“Sam (a canine shamus) and Max (a hyperkinetic rabbity thing) are hot on the trail of a runaway carnival bigfoot across America’s quirky underbelly in this deranged animated adventure!“

Sam & Max are truly my favorite characters in all of fiction. I have the box art to this game as my phone case. I have Sam & Max action figures, a plush Max on my bed, a print edition of Sam & Max Freeland Police Special #1 framed on my wall. From comics, to games, to cartoons I love these guys. Sam & Max: Hit the Road is a classic of the Lucasarts adventure games. That being said, it’s the least user-friendly of the Sam & Max adventure games and the slowest. I still love it to bits and it’s important to the genre’s history imo.  

Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers (1993) $5.99 💕💀👿

“The adventure of Gabriel Knight starts with gathering materials for his new book, and ends up becoming a fight for his very soul. He must now face countless dangers in New Orleans, Africa and Germany, each bringing him ever closer to unraveling the mystery behind suspicious voodoo murders. Haunted by nightmares, he won't give up until he reveals the truth. “

Another Sierra game directed by a woman, Jane Jenson. Gabriel Knight, voiced by Tim Curry, is one of my favorite adventure game protagonists of all time. This game is scary and gory so enter at your own risk! I love the gameplay in this one, I love the narrator, I love the puzzles. But it seems Sierra games have some problems with the representation of minorities. The game is set in New Orleans and focuses on a voodoo cult. Which means consequently the game's major antagonists are all black. Unlike the Dagger of Amon Ra, Sins of the Fathers actually employed black actors to play black characters. There’s a lot to be said about the ways in which white media demonizes voodoo and those who practice it. If you play this one, remain critical. And for the love of god, don’t play the 20th anniversary version.

Day of the Tentacle: Remastered (1993/2016) $14.99 ✨👧❕

“Originally released by LucasArts in 1993 as a sequel to Ron Gilbert’s ground breaking Maniac Mansion, Day of the Tentacle is a mind-bending, time travel, cartoon puzzle adventure game in which three unlikely friends work together to prevent an evil mutated purple tentacle from taking over the world!“

Another classic LucasArts game! This was the first game co-headed by Tim Schaffer who would go on to make the outstanding Grim Fandango! This one is exceedingly wacky and the remastered version has made it more user-friendly than ever.

Toonstruck (1996) $9.99 💕

“Drew Blanc is a cartoon animator and the original creator of the Fluffy Fluffy Bun Bun Show.. Drew's boss, Sam Schmaltz, sets him the task of designing more bunnies to co-star in the Fluffy Fluffy Bun Bun Show by the next morning. However, the depressed animator soon nods off, suffering from acute artist's block. He wakes early the next morning to inexplicably find his television switched on, announcing the Fluffy Fluffy Bun Bun Show. Suddenly, Drew is mysteriously drawn into the television screen and transported to an idyllic two-dimensional cartoon world populated by his own creations, among many other cartoon characters.“

If you’re a fan of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? you’ll love this. Christopher Lloyd is Drew Blanc (ha) trying to save a cartoon world through inventory item puzzles. Truly wacky, zany, and ani-mainy. I played Toontown as a kid so I’m predisposed to like this one. This is also the only game with Full Motion Video I’m putting on the list because FMV games can be an acquired taste.

Grim Fandango (1996/2015) $14.99 💕✨

“Something's rotten in the land of the dead, and you're being played for a sucker. Meet Manny Calavera, travel agent at the Department of Death. He sells luxury packages to souls on their four-year journey to eternal rest. But there's trouble in paradise. Help Manny untangle himself from a conspiracy that threatens his very salvation.“

Yesssssssss! I LOVE Grim Fandango! The iconic game directed by Tim Schaffer has received the best remaster I’ve seen a point n’ click receive. I cannot recommend Grim Fandango enough! Stick with it through the forest section, trust me.

The Last Express (1997) $5.99 ❕ 📚

“Paris, 1914. The world is on the brink of war and this train could push it over the edge. You are Robert Cath, a young American urgently summoned by your old friend Tyler Whitney to join him aboard the Paris-Constantinople express, departing from the Gare de l'Est on July 24th. Arriving late, you discover something has gone terribly wrong. Now you must untangle a complex web of political intrigue, suspense, romance, and betrayal. Every move you make could bring you closer to the truth or your own demise. Bon voyage! “

Ooooh I love a murder on a train! This game features rotoscope animation, which I love. Like The Colonel’s Bequest this game runs in real time, meaning the events of the game will unfold with or without you, depending on where you are at what time you’ll receive different information or see/miss different events. Very replayable with several different outcomes.

Sam & Max Save the World (Remastered) $19.99 💕

“ Sam is a six-foot canine detective with a love of justice. Max is a hyperkinetic rabbity-thing with a taste for mayhem. Together, they're the Freelance Police. And they're about to save the world.”

Sam & Max Save the World, originally released in episodes from 2006-2008 has been remastered and looks AMAZING! After LucasArts was shut down their game devs formed Tell Tale Games and produced three seasons of Sam & Max sequel games, all of which are great. But TellTale was shut down (and screwed over their employees) in 2018. Since then some of their devs have formed Skunkape Games and are currently remastering all of Tell Tale’s Sam & Max series (I’m thrilled). They’ve also adjusted some aspects of the game to make the game more inclusive and less **offensive. So imo it’s worth it to wait for the release of the other seasons to experience Sam & Max in pristine condition. Save the World is the only season out now, but you can get the non-remastered versions of Beyond Time and Space, and In The Devil’s Playhouse, here and here.

 **I should note the “offensive” material in the original is not as egregious as say, The Dagger of Amon-Ra, but it’s just a nice change to see especially in a game I hold dear.

Emerald City Confidential (2009) $9.99 👧

“Explore the underbelly of Oz as Emerald City's most cunning detective! As Petra, you'll be lured deep into mysteries involving new foes and familiar faces; Scarecrow, Lion, and Toto included! This is Oz as you've never seen it before! Solve the mystery and unravel a conspiracy of magic and intrigue! Follow a case through five chapters full of puzzles, witnesses, suspects, and allies in this twist on a timeless classic! “

We’re moving out of the 1990s now. Emerald City Confidential is the Wizard of Oz meets film noir. I played this as 13 year old and have revisited it as an adult and I still eat it up. Wadjet Eye makes consistently good adventure games so check this one out!

The Blackwell Series (2006) $14.99 💕👧

“Meet Rosangela Blackwell, an embittered writer who just found out that she is a medium and that it’s her mission, whether she likes it or not, to assist tormented spirits and investigate other supernatural goings-on. She is assisted by the sardonic Joey Mallone, a ghost from the 1930s.”

Another Wadjet Eye game! I’ve seen these games recommended amoungst the Clue Crew before and I’ll just throw my own endorsement on the pile. Yeah I’m in love with Joey Mallone. What about it?

The Charnel House Trilogy (2015) $5.99 👧💀

“Witness The Charnel House Trilogy, the chronicle of one fateful night aboard a train bound for Augur Peak. Three thrilling, horrifying adventure games in one, from the depths of the Sepulchre.”

Plays like Blackwell, has a Blackwell reference at the beginning, okay you got me. This is a good, if kinda short, game. It’s very creepy, involves murder and has some gore/violence so watch out! I’m still waiting on the sequel Owl Cave!

Thimbleweed Park (2017) $19.99 👧

“A haunted hotel, an abandoned circus, a burnt-out pillow factory, a dead body pixelating under the bridge, toilets that run on vacuum tubes... you’ve never visited a place like this before.“

Made by Ron Gilbert and  Gary Winnick the creators of the classic games Maniac Mansion and Monkey Island Thimbleweed Park is a love letter to the classics of the point and click adventure genre. Features 5 different playable characters, ala Maniac Mansion, who and how many you play is up to you! This one also has stand alone DLCs!

Unavowed (2018) $14.99 👧

“ A demon possessed you one year ago. Since that day, you unwillingly tore a trail of bloodshed through New York City. Your salvation comes in the form of the Unavowed – an ancient society dedicated to stopping evil.”

Okay I haven’t actually played this one, but I want to. Its a Wadjet Eye so you know it’s good. From the reviews I’ve seen this is the Blackwell Series meets Dragon Age. A point and click that incorporates RPG elements, I love that.

I also have a love of the more, strange, and unusual adventure games that I can't necessarily recommend with good conscience. So if you want bizarre 90s and early 2000s games of dubious quality hit me up.

[cinemavariety]

The Director’s Series: Nicolas Winding Refn

The director series will consist of me concentrating on the filmography of all my favorite directors. I will rank each of their films according to my personal taste. I hope this project will provide everyone with quality recommendations and insight into films that they might not have known about. Today’s director in spotlight is Nicolas Winding Refn

#9 - Fear X (2003) Runtime: 1 hr 31 min Aspect Ratio: 2.35 : 1         Film Format: 35mm

When his wife is killed in a seemingly random incident Harry, prompted by mysterious visions, journeys to discover the true circumstances surrounding her murder.

Verdict: Refn’s most forgotten about film, even I have a hard time remembering that this film is part of his oeuvre. Nevertheless, Fear X is a quiet and lingering exercise in style. It’s a surrealist film noir with heavy influences from David Lynch. It’s also the first time where Refn began experimenting with color and started to move away from shaky cam.

#8 - The Pusher Trilogy (1996/2004/2005) Runtime: 1 hr 45 min / 1 hr 40 min / 1 hr 30 min Aspect Ratio: 1.66 : 1 / 1.85 : 1 /  1.85 : 1                 Film Format: 16mm / 35mm / 35mm

A drug pusher grows increasingly desperate after a botched deal leaves him with a large debt to a ruthless drug lord.

Verdict: I made the decision to categorize all three Pusher films as one entry for this post (otherwise it would just be too many). Nicolas Winding Refn started off his career with the strong crime tale of Pusher, and made the last two films to complete the trilogy after his English language debut Fear X ended up bombing. While I love the first and third entry more than I do the second, all three Pusher films are captivating and anxiety-ridden crime docudramas. It’s a great way to see how far Refn has evolved by starting with these films first.

#7 - Bleeder (1999) Runtime: 1 hr 38 min Aspect Ratio: 2.35 : 1 Film Format: 35mm

Two stories for the price of one: Lenny works in a video shop and tries to get acquainted with the waitress Lea. Leo can't cope with the pressure of becoming a father, leading to trouble with his pregnant wife and especially her brother.

Verdict: While Bleeder might be Refn’s lowest budget film to date, and not all the violence comes off as extremely convincing, I enjoyed it more than all three Pusher films because of the emotional stakes within the story. Multiple characters lives intertwine and interconnect in oftentimes disastrous circumstances. I also loved how Mads Mikkelsen’s character is a huge film aficionado, all of the scenes he is featured in bring a much needed reprieve from the turmoil and abuse.

#6 - Too Old to Die Young (2019) Runtime: 15 hr Aspect Ratio: 1.85 : 1                     Film Format: Arri Alexa Digital

The numb existences of Martin Jones, a police officer with secrets to hide, and Jesus, a traumatized avenging son, collide in a ghostly Los Angeles where several ruthless criminal gangs fight for their turf and dictate who lives and who dies. Verdict: Too Old To Die Young finds the celebrated auteur, Nicolas Winding Refn, sharing his view of humanity and society at its most despicable. All of his usual motifs and creative decisions are employed in full force with Too Old To Die Young, sometimes to an almost unbearable degree unless you are a truth Refn aficionado. His long takes, infinitesimal silences between lines, neon lighting, synth score and characters belonging to a criminal underworld are all utilized to great affect within the series. And while I believe that Refn’s sensibilities are best conveyed through a film medium, the limited series allows Refn to explore what he wants to convey like an artist adding layer upon layer of colors onto a blank palette.

#5 - Bronson (2008) Runtime: 1 hr 32 min Aspect Ratio: 1.85 : 1 Film Format: 35mm

A young man who was sentenced to 7 years in prison for robbing a post office ends up spending 30 years in solitary confinement. During this time, his own personality is supplanted by his alter ego, Charles Bronson. Verdict: Bronson is quite possibly Tom Hardy’s most impressive performance, and that’s saying a lot. It exudes such a hypnotic quality that every time I watch it, it’s as if I am seeing the film for my very first time. It tells the true story of one of Britain’s most infamous criminals.Refn’s visual flair and unique filming style make it unlike any other prison film I’ve ever witnessed. This is the beginnings of Refn’s disinterest in traditional narrative structure.

#4 - Only God Forgives (2013) Runtime: 1 hr 30 min Aspect Ratio: 1.85 : 1 Film Format: Red Epic Digital

Julian, who runs a Thai boxing club as a front organization for his family’s drug smuggling operation, is forced by his mother Crystal to find and kill the individual responsible for his brother’s recent death. 

Verdict: This is easily Refn’s most frustrating film. Whenever I watch it, I’m unsure whether I adore it or dislike it. But the fact that it’s the Refn film I have probably revisited the most is extremely telling of the ambience that Refn creates. Only God Forgives is arguably the most beautifully shot film from Nicolas. The neon drenched streets of Bangkok are presented to look like a netherworld. It’s a revenge fantasy thriller mixed with Oedipal undertones. Also, Gosling looks like a treat in every frame.

#3 - Valhalla Rising (2009) Runtime: 1 hr 33 min Aspect Ratio: 2.35 : 1 Film Format: Red One Digital

1000 AD, for years, One Eye, a mute warrior of supernatural strength, has been held prisoner by the Norse chieftain Barde. Aided by Are, a boy slave, One Eye slays his captor and together he and Are escape, beginning a journey into the heart of darkness. On their flight, One Eye and Are board a Viking vessel, but the ship is soon engulfed by an endless fog that clears only as the crew sights an unknown land. As the new world reveals its secrets and the Vikings confront their terrible and bloody fate, One Eye discovers his true self. 

Verdict: Valhalla Rising is Refn’s dirtiest and bloodiest work, and it certainly finds the director at his most surreal and existential. If anyone wants to know a film that epitomized what it means to be considered art house - this is it. It’s a film about a slave finding emancipation from his tyrannous slave owners, and finds himself on a doomed voyage to the New World with a group of fanatical Christian vikings. The story is told in separate chapters, with each section the audience finds itself traveling down a rabbit hole that resembles something of an acid try gone awry.

#2 - The Neon Demon (2016) Runtime: 1 hr 57 min Aspect Ratio: 2.35 : 1 Film Format: Arri Alexa XT Plus Digital

When aspiring model Jesse moves to Los Angeles, her youth and vitality are devoured by a group of beauty-obsessed women who will take any means necessary to get what she has.

Verdict: The Neon Demon has grown to become my second favorite movie from Nicolas. The film succeeds in shedding light on the hedonistic lifestyle of deranged young women in a tongue-in-cheek, almost satirical fashion. It’s one of the best looking Refn films to date, with even banal or commonplace locations drenched in neon hues. Composer Cliff Martinez outdoes himself with the synth-heavy score which guides the audience along a fairytale of horrors. In Refn’s surreal vision of Los Angeles there is no such thing as going too far to reach fame, even if it means bloodshed. As one character says in the film: “Beauty isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.” It would be nice to write off this statement as pure subjectivity, but what else has the media taught us but this ideal?

#1 - Drive (2011) Runtime: 1 hr 40 min Aspect Ratio: 2.35 : 1 Film Format: Arri Alexa & Cooke S4 Digital

A Hollywood stunt performer who moonlights as a wheelman for criminals discovers that a contract has been put on him after a heist gone wrong. 

Verdict: Seeing Drive in theatres back in 2011, without even having seen a film from Refn and not knowing much of the plot in general, is hands down one of the most memorable and inspiring theatrical experiences I ever had. Drive, among many other films that came out around that time, acted as a catalyst for me to branch out and discover more independent and arthouse filmmakers. I believe that it is undoubtedly Refn’s best film, and I might dare say that might be credited to the fact that is one of the only Refn films in which he didn’t write. These characters, while quiet and mysterious, have more depth to them than any of his others. The quiet romance between Drive and Irene provide more emotional stakes than any of his other works as well. All the elements of Drive complement each other and build off of each other. As cheesy as it may sound, if any film could be considered cool - it’s this. It’s already gained a cult status and it will most definitely go down in history as one of the most beautiful crime noirs ever made.

[burritodetodo]

Burrito’s Guide To Survive Coronavirus Quarantine

We got to keep social distance (1 or 2 meters each other) or stay home during coronavirus outbreak so I thought I can share with y’all some things I’m gonna watch or do doing quarantine (this is a very long post, REBLOGS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!).

BUT FIRST SOME RULES:

Wash your hands: do it for 20 seconds or a while, but ALWAYS do it. It prevents the virus from spreading. If you don’t have sanitizer, water and soap! The cheapest and best ally against the disease.

Buy everything you need: if you can, try to buy stuff so you can stay some days at home. If the place is crowded, go back home and come later when it’s more empty. Same as medicine.

You can go for a walk: stay at home all day can be overwhelming for your mental health, but unless the goverment puts a curfew or gets strict about it you can go walk outside for a while always respecting the 1 or 2 meters from other people and without making contact (chatting) with other people. This ain’t my rule, a CDC professional says. DON��T go visit your friends or to crowded places such as bars, restaurants, shoppings, etc. If you want to buy something, ask for delivery or take away.

If you have coronavirus sympthoms (high fever, diarrhea, cough, feeling tired, breath difficulties) DON’T GO TO THE HOSPITAL YET, CALL TO YOUR PUBLIC HEALTH ORGANISATION OR WHATEVER YOU GOT AND THEY’LL TREAT YOU.

(credits to whoever made this meme)

SO YOUR LIFE IS ON QUARANTINE

Let’s say your boss or your school told you can stay at home. Okay then, you gotta prepare for some days inside *Isolation by John Lennon plays in the distance*. The first thing you think is you have to prepare a batch of series and movies to watch in order to kill some time. I’m gonna recommend you some you can find on VOD or cable, if you don’t have it don’t worry because I got you covered!

Infinity Train: a yet two seasons saga about people who got to face their problems aboard an endless train. The protagonists are joined by creatures who have different nature and help them, or not, to acknowledge their issues and leave the train. It’s on CN, it will continue on HBO Max.

The Owl House: a teen girl who daydream a lot was going to be sent to a down-to-earth camp but then she crosses a portal to the Boiling Isles, a magical world where she is taken care by a powerful Owl witch/saleswoman and her adorable demon. Lots of fantasy, some action scenes and many many puns. It’s on Disney Channel, it’ll be on Disney+ in some weeks.

Primal: Genndy Tartakovsky delighted us with the alliance of a caveman and a dinosaur, two rivals in a wild world who ally after facing a devastating event. It IS brutal and beatiful, has no dialogue and keeps you watching closely. Five final episodes are set to premiere this year. It’s on Adult Swim, maybe on HBO Max.

Tuca and Bertie: for the critics, one of 2019 best shows. For Netflix, a show that had to be cut off because the studio unionized. Two friends in their late 20s face changes in their lives: from living with a boyfriend and plan a life to look a way to stay sober and get a job. Deals with trauma, ptsd, anxiety and more harsh moments very well. In fact, the creator is a vital part of Bojack Horseman! It’s on Netflix.

Aggretsuko: red pandas are cute eh? But what about a antopomorphic red panda who releases her anger and frustrations by singing at a karaoke? This awesome comedy by Sanrio & Netflix is one of anime’s big hits lately. Like T&B, has a good handle of adult problems but not going too deep just to not break the comedy. You can watch it on Netflix.

Regular Show: yeah-uuuuhhhh! Eight seasons, a movie, five Halloween specials and some others. The adventures of a racoon and a blue jay with their co-workers/friends that relies on psychadellia and 80s and 90s nostalgia. It begins good, gets better, then lowers the quality (they were producing the movie at the same time tho, give some credit) and with and after the movie ends awesome. It’s on CN web, dunno if on Hulu (US only) and proably on HBO Max.

Evangelion: it’s a classic at this point, but addictive to me because I end rewatching the series or the final movie many times. A post apocalyptic future where the world has to deal with strange creatures known as the Angels and a boy with lots of traumas has to get on a mecha to save the humankind. All the characters have traumas and issues, the interaction between them or the action makes it worth. The End of Evangelion is a movie that ends the unfinished series. Warning: at some point it becomes very twisted and there are scenes which are too much violent. Viewer disclosure etc. It’s on Netflix worldwide.

Steven Universe & SU Future: this is the tale of the gem boy who ends a galactical tyranny and brings democracy to the universe. A acclaimed show that broke through many topics like gender, identity, ptsd, relationships and many more. Besides it’s got the best scores of the Milky Way and beyond thanks to the talent of Rebecca Sugar, Aivi Tran and Surasshu. And the actors and acrtresses! I don’t forget the movie, a musical that is an introduction to the epilogue: Shippuden Future. The show is available on CN and will be on HBO Max. Worldwide? No news.

Adventure Time: something that began as an innocent boy and a magical dog having adventures in a post apocalyptic world turns into the journey of Finn Metens from childhood to almost adulthood. There is a lot of fantasy and comedy you enjoy, but there are dark moments and serious ones through S6 that find a balance with early seasons form S7 to the finale. It also has great music, memorable moments and colaborations. And guess what? There is going to be a special set to premiere on HBO Max in some weeks! You got plenty of time to catch up or rewatch before that on CN or only (!!) S5 on Netflix.

Final Space: a dude tries to save the universe with their friends, where we can find his love interest, a cat-man and his kitten son, a intersexual alien, an AI then robot that is the best of them, two particular siblings and an annoying bot that prevents insanity that makes you insane. Crazy adventures in space, lots of situations, sadness, an evil smol bean who is a space emperor, a dude who looks for revenge, space deities that can destroy the universe. Is this a lot or info? It is not, because there is more and you can watch it on TBS, Adult Swim and Netflix (the world except US).

Rick and Morty: the most powerful, smartest human in the universe has adventures with his grandson. It’s awesome, but has a very toxic fanbase. Anyway, you can enjoy it on Adult Swim or Netflix (which is up to date!) and the rest of S4 is set someday.

Bojack Horseman: a Hollywood satire about human relationships, fame, traumas with a pour of comedy. Alongside the previous series, the best adult animation of the decade. Sadly cut by Netflix because the studio unionized (see T&B), said by both the creator and Aaron Paul. You can watch the six amazing seasons on that platform.

I’m not an animated movies guy, but here are three I really like and you can watch:

Porco Rosso: a handsome Italian combat aviator turned magically to a pig has a face off with an American pilot hired by pirates to get rid of him before WWII in Fascist Italy. It’s entertaining and, like every Ghibli movie, nice to watch. It’s on Netflix and will be on HBO Max for US.

Lego Batman Movie: Batman is depressed and has to get over it. It’s wacky and has lots of comedy. Plus Will Arnett is top 3 Batman. On Netflix (Latinamerica).

Spiderverse: Oscar winner movie about your friendly neighbour Peter Parker Miles Morales. Miles sees Spiderman die and feels bad after being transfered to a private school. Then a radioactive spider from a Fisk compound bites Miles and he’s Spiderman... among other dimensions’ Spiderpeople: Gwen, Peni, Peter Parker, Noir and Peter Porker. It’s visually amazing. On US it’s on Netflix (I guess), on Latinamerica on HBO.

Some interesting live actions I watched lately

Atlanta: Donald Glover is Earn, a dude who struggles to find a job for her baby girld and sees an opportunity when his cousin, Paper Boi, has a hit and uses him to make his cos famous. Sometimes a comedy, sometimes a social satire with touches of drama. And all protagonists are now big shots, like Zazie Beetz, Brian Tyree Henry or Lakeith Stanfield. There are two seasons and two seasons set for 2021 (2022 possible beacuse of coronavirus). It’s on FX, Hulu (US) and Netflix (world)

Avenue 5: this is brand new. On 2060 space cruises are a thing, and one cruise (the Avenue 5) has an accident that leaves the crew and passangers stranded for years. The captain (Hugh Laurie) has to solve this shit with a bunch of incompetent crew, bosses like Judd (Josh Gad), except one female engeneer who is very smart. Lots of crazy things happen in this series from the creator behind Veep. It’s on HBO (it’s free in the US!).

Peaky Blinders: it has some years but damn it’s epic. A gang from Birmingham makes their way to the top during the late 1910s after the Great War and extends through the 1920s. S5 is right in the ascension of fascism in Britain. ALL THE CAST acts spectacular, names like Cillian Murphy, Tom Hardy, Anna Taylor-Joy and a long etc. But my fave is Paul Anderson, that ultra violent junkie Arthur Shelby is splendid, then is Tommy and aunt Pol, the baddest badass woman in Britain. Blinders is going to have seven seasons, there are two left. You can watch it on BBC or Netflix.

Sex Education: speaking of Britain, excellent teen comedy. Horny, doubtful teenagers going through those hard years. Stories of sex (duh!), abuse situations, abortion, there are gay relationships either, Gillian Anderson! It’s on Netflix, go go go!

Watchmen: despite not having Alan Moore on board, Damien Lindeloff did a tremendous job with the comic. Way better and less misleading than Zack Snyder’s 2009 film, Watchmen is again at the gates of the world’s end (like today) and handles the problem of racism and white supremacy quite well. Just 9 episodes, but worth to watch. On HBO.

CAOS: Sabrina the Teenage Witch is over. Warner and Netflix made a revival of the Archie Comics character and brought her to XXI Century. But gorier, hornier, dark and magical than the nice 90s sitcom. Sabrina Spellman goes from a doubtful teen who has to decide if she has to be a witch or a powerless woman to rule Hell. How she does it? Find out on Netflix! Note: S1 and 2 take some episodes to start properly. Don’t get bored too easy.

There are A LOT MORE to recommend and I make a list: Harley Quinn (DC Universe), OK KO (Hulu -US only-), House MD, Young Justice (DC Universe/Netflix), Ken Burns’ documentaries (Netflix), Titans (DCU), Over The Garden Wall (CN), Seis Manos (Netflix), Thundercats Roar (CN), Easy (Netflix), GLOW (Netflix), Star Trek Discovery (CBS, Netflix) and Picard (CBS, Amazon Prime), etc.

- You named cool shows, but I’m not from the United States or I don’t have a subscription to (insert VOD here) because I can’t afford it

- Glad you asked, I have the answer here

Introducing Stremio. It’s an open source platform where you can watch shows, movies or even live TV on Windows, Linux, Apple or Android. You create an account, install some addons and start looking for what you want to watch.

Stremio is based on torrents, you should install addons from many known torrent sites. So maybe you find an old show, but there aren’t many seeds to watch. And it could be frustraiting, so make sure there are people sharing so you can watch it.

You can download Stremio here and check the FAQs which is very clear.

NOTE: Stremio is note quite “clean” way to watch, but if you do please support the shows you watch by posting, commenting about them, making memes, thanking the creators and crew for their work, buying merchandise if you can. They put a lot to make the shows we love, let’s give ‘em back that love and effort.

You’re tired of the same music, the same movies or need to leave something to make company? There is Vaughn Live, a streaming page where are lots of channels with movies and series on strem (not VOD). For example, there is a channel that streams Adventure Time, other Regular Show, other Sci-Fi shows, another with DBZ and so on. Take in count that if the channel has +70 viewers, the free access is cut and if you want to watch it you have to pay.

En Vaughn también hay canales en español, como Simpsonmanía, Dragon Ball, Futurama, dibujos viejos y muchísimo más. Anyway, go to https://vaughn.live/ and enjoy yourselves!

Y hablando de canales en español, pueden ir a SeriesLan donde está el mayor reservorio conocido de series animadas de entre 1960 a 2010 en español latino. Pueden encontrar tesoros desde Don Gato, los Halcones Galácticos o Street Sharks a Flapjack y Mechas XLR. Otra alternativa para que pasen el rato.

Some interesting facts:

Epic Games releases a free game per week in their store. This week will be two games. You can check in https://www.epicgames.com

Steam has good prices on games and some free ones. There even is the latest Football Manager for free until March 25th. Check on https://store.steampowered.com/

If you’re interested,

I got this playlist I made on Spotify

with songs I liked in more than one year. More than 1200 songs.

And that’s pretty much it! You got resources for a lot of days, 14 initially since that’s the quarantine time in my country. Remember: obey the indications of the Health authorities, this is no time to play the “fuck the goverment” game. We will overcome this pandemy together, helping and caring for each other. That’s why I did this guide, to keep your minds busy in these tough times! Wash your hands, keep social distance, stay at home, go outside if necessary and have some patience please. This has been a PSA.

Stay strong!

Burrito

[fairycastlesintheair]

Pluie/Noir Studiocast 01 "Erik Sature"

Sound Mixed and Performed by Vadim Svoboda Visual Interpretation by Max Binski

Soundcloud Link: soon

Pluie/Noir teams up with Make Sense's Vadim Svoboda for a new series featuring artists exploring their favourite musical gear through improvisation.

Vadim's session is particularly educational. As a true connoisseur of Elektron's Machinedrum and a lover of classical music, Vadim decided to focus on the ROM feature of Elektron's infamous first drum machine and deconstruct Erik Satie's music on the fly. 

Used in the video: 

Elektron Machinedrum SPS1UW+ mkII 

Strymon Deco 

Zoom H6 

YouTube (sampling source)

Cleymoore interviews Vadim Svoboda:

Hi Vadim, such a pleasure to have you at P/N finally, especially having you bring a new format to the series. How are you, all things considered, amidst this global chaos?

Hello Bruno! Thank you, the pleasure is mutual! Been a long time we met each other and I’m glad to participate in Pluie/Noir's very subtly sharp universe. Regarding my physical being, I’m safe and sound. Thankfully, isolated in the countryside of France with people I love, so I feel lucky! I guess music producers are somehow trained for social distancing, but this is a serious threat to humanity, so it has to be taken very seriously. I wish we will learn lessons from it.

We’ve met a while ago, back when I was living in Paris. Makesense was on its 3rd release and you were still resident at the Sundae parties in Paris. How did the scene change after all these years?

I guess Paris became a bigger target for booking agents and famous DJs, but those « headliner » performances in big events didn’t necessarily help build our scene further. On the other hand, the reaction it provoked was good, and I see more and more promoters having the guts to do something special, and focusing more on the local talent, with 100% original music. This is, in my opinion, the best way to build a strong french scene. Booking one big name from the ’90s won’t really push our scene further, whereas booking 100 locals actually might.

After a long hiatus period, Makesense returned in 2018 with your own album 'Hasard Ordinaire'. A total shift in style for the label, it presented a side of you a lot of people didn’t know: bold, experimental and tremendously deep. Is this the direction you want to explore?

Yes, I’ve planned to explore different musical styles with Makesense from the start. Makesense has always placed a focus on emerging talents and promoting forward-thinking music. That’s what we pride on, and that’s what drives us. This year will feature at least two new releases. The first one from a very close friend of mine, someone I consider to be one of the most innovative french producers around, and the second one will be the first release of a Japanese Machinedrum master; glitchy, breaky and yet, so romantic. I have goosebumps while typing this, and I can't wait to show it all to you. We are back and for good. 

There’s a lot of sound manipulation of Pianos in Hasard Ordinaire. Is Piano is a big part of your creative life? 

I’ve been playing the piano since a very young age, so it plays an enormous part in my creative life. Throughout my life, I've used it mainly for advertisements and soundtracks. When I was about 18yo I’ve fallen in love with step sequencers, which lead me to the discovery of Elektron's Machinedrum. Because it's so simple to play, sequence and perform, almost like a piano, I've decided to perform live with it. I’m now trying to mix both of these worlds, and both creation processes: acoustic, grid-free, and synthetic pattern sequences. 'Hasard Ordinaire' is a gathering of several tracks I composed between 2009 and 2018: a compilation of musical drafts, or test tracks, that for some reason I’ve always hesitated to share.

When we met, you already had a deep love for the Elektron machines. I remember seeing you perform live with 2 Machinedrum, and carefully observing you flow with them in a very peculiar way. Is the Machinedrum currently your drum machine of choice? 

Yes, even though I've tried to take my distance from it many times. But it became an expansion of my soul, and most certainly a big part of my trademark sound. After 3 years of abstinence, I’m very excited to be back to this machine. I’m now separating outputs, applying external audio processing, reverbs, and compression, in order to improve it's sound while facing new challenges at the same time.

Do you record your samples always through the same mediums? 

The samples I use in my regular productions are always transferred to the ROM machine of the Machinedrum, and those can come from anywhere, including internet samples banks, vinyl records, youtube, iPhone recordings, etc. Those sources are converted by the Machinedrum into a 12-bit lo-fi sound that I like and are never left untouched. I like to create the groove from A to Z, so I use the timber of the sample to create texture, and sequence it upside down. I like to put a sample in the centre of special projects, like in "Erik Sature".

This session seems like an educational experiment. What did you intend to reach? 

Every couple of days someone asks me something about this machine. I love it. I’ve never met anyone at Elektron but I feel like I'm probably one of their earliest Machinedrum owners. I bought my first SPS1-UW in 2005, and I've spent a minimum of 4 hours per day, every day, for more than a decade, on this machine. It just took me a long time to find the best way I could share my knowledge. I wanted it to be fun to do (hence the improvisation), fun to listen to (like a normal live performance/mix) and yet, still educative (like a tutorial). I’m ultra-passionate about the Machinedrum, and I feel a special connection with the people that feel the same about it.

Why Erik Satie? 

In my opinion, the best sample is the one you can't recognize. Satie brings a lot of emotion with very few notes, so it’s somehow easy to grab the texture of a certain piece, or its central mood while transforming it and creating a whole new melody on the fly, with very little effort. I think minimalist piano players are fun and easy to sample. You can quickly appropriate yourself of their sound. Chopin or Rachmaninov, on the other hand, would need more slicing precision, and I guess the podcast wouldn’t have this « easy-listening » touch. I wanted the first one to be simple, and clear. 

What can we expect from you in the near (or not so near) future?

I almost finished a piano album that took me 2 years of practice and re-organising of my entire studio. I hope to be able to perform this album in small intimate venues (if we survive this virus!). Playing keys in a concert has nothing to do with playing keys in a recording studio. Then I'll get back to clubs, which I’ve missed very much.

Links:

http://www.makesenserecords.com http://vadimsvoboda.bandcamp.com http://www.maxbinski.com http://pluienoir.tumblr.com https://www.elektron.se/legacy-products/

Web: http://www.ringsofneptune.com / info (at) pluienoir (dot) com

[traincat]

What to read for peterxfelicia(i'm not sure if there's a ship name?) goodness for someone who's getting into it because of the current hunted storyline?

I never know what the ship names for anything are; I think PeterFelicia goes by PeterFel and SpiderCat, but don’t quote me on that one. For Peter and Felicia content, I’d go way back to Felicia’s first appearance to start with, and then follow along from there.

Amazing Spider-Man #194-195: At the tail end of his affair with married Betty Brant, Peter runs into the Black Cat, an enigmatic thief with whom he has an instant romantic connection, but the Black Cat has her own agenda.

Amazing Spider-Man #204-205: Felicia makes her reappearance in Peter’s life. Don’t pay too much attention to the ending of this one; it quickly gets overwritten.

Amazing Spider-Man #226-227: Felicia’s scheme from the previous story pays off, and she and Peter attend a costume party. Felicia attempts to quit her criminal ways to further her romance with Spider-Man, but it’s harder than she expects.

Spectacular Spider-Man #74-79: Peter tries to help his colleague, friend, and beleaguered love interest, Deb Whitman, only to end up surprised when Felicia crashes into his life once again. The two battle Doc Ock with disastrous results.

Spectacular Spider-Man #84-90: Felicia is released from the hospital and she and Peter continue their romance. In Spectacular Spider-Man #87, Peter unmasks to Felicia. Felicia, wanting to be Spider-Man’s partner in more ways than one, strikes a deal to get herself superpowers. 

Spectacular Spider-Man #91: Felicia runs into Peter in his alien black suit for the first time.

Spectacular Spider-Man Annual #4: The B-Story, Cat and Mouse. Felicia goes on a wild goose chase when a carafe Peter gave her goes missing, and a friend expresses doubts about whether the relationship is good for her, which I think is an important bit of nuance – fans who don’t like PeterFel love to label Felicia as “bad” for Peter, and there is dysfunction in the early days, but I think it’s important to realize it more than goes both ways. (I love a complicated relationship.)

Amazing Spider-Man #256-258: Mary Jane reveals a secret to Peter, while Felicia has apprehensions about both Peter’s black suit and his civilian identity. 

(It’s not a Felicia issue but I highly recommend reading Amazing Spider-Man #259 if you haven’t already – it’s the issue that reveals Mary Jane’s backstory and it’s perfect, completely throwing all of her previous actions into a new light.)

Spectacular Spider-Man #95-100: Cracks develop in the relationship as Felicia worries her new bad luck powers are harming Spider-Man, and as Peter begins to question Felicia’s morality. They break up at the end of #100. (Peter and Felicia also have a brief and tense conversation about Felicia’s new powers in Amazing Spider-Man #263 and a frosty interaction in ASM #266, which takes place before Spectacular Spider-Man #100.)

Spectacular Spider-Man #112: My very favorite Christmas issue. While a Santa-themed robber strikes around the city, Peter, Felicia, and Mary Jane ruminate on the holidays.

Spectacular Spider-Man #115-117: Peter’s attempts to get rid of Felicia’s bad luck power’s influence over him leads to her powers cutting out at the worst moment possible. Felicia’s new costume debuts in #117.

Spectacular Spider-Man #119: Felicia has a moment of introspection on her relationship with Peter.

Spectacular Spider-Man #123: Peter and Felicia seemingly reunite after Peter saves her after an explosion in her apartment.

Felicia has appearances in Amazing Spider-Man #288-289, which are part of the larger Gang War storyline, which takes place from Amazing Spider-Man #284-288. In ASM #289, which takes place after Spider-Man vs Wolverine (highly recommended), she presents Peter with some new costumes.

Spectacular Spider-Man #128-129: Felicia’s revealed to have double-crossed Peter up – or has she?

At this point in time, Felicia vanishes off the pages for a little bit. Peter and Mary Jane shortly get married, which Felicia only finds out when she returns to Peter’s old apartment, expecting to find him. In an attempt to get revenge on Peter, she starts dating his best friend, Flash Thompson – only to end up genuinely falling for him. I love Flash and Felicia’s relationship, and it’s genuinely really sweet, but some PeterFel highlights from this period: on the last page of Amazing Spider-Man #329, Flash shows up with Felicia at Peter and Mary Jane’s loft, and ASM #330 has a flashback to a double date dinner. In ASM #331, Felicia confronts Mary Jane about her marriage to Peter and reveals her plan to break Flash’s heart to hurt Peter. (I think it’s important to remember at this point in time that everyone here is in their early 20s and very dramatic.) In ASM #335, Flash tries to arrange a double date while Felicia canoodles with him in front of Peter. In ASM #341-343, Felicia twigs to the fact that Peter’s lost his powers, and the two team up again. In ASM #346, Felicia offers to help Peter with a supervillain, and in ASM #347, she says that even though she still has feelings for Peter, she’s now in love with Flash.

Web of Spider-Man #80: When Peter goes missing, Mary Jane asks Felicia to track him down.

Spectacular Spider-Man #204-206: Both Felicia and Peter attend the reading of Harry Osborn’s will following his death in Spectacular Spider-Man #200. When Flash is injured by Tombstone, Felicia becomes furious that Peter didn’t tell her. This isn’t a particularly romantic Peter and Felicia teamup, but I do feel it’s a good look at their dynamic post-romantic relationship.

Spider-Man Unlimited #11: The Spider-Man in this story is Peter’s clone, Ben, but on top of the Ben/Felicia flirting, there’s plenty of PeterFelicia background. A woman from Ben Reilly’s past has been murdered – and someone wants to put the blame on the Black Cat.

Peter Parker Annual 2000: The B Story (although the A Story features one of my favorite rare Marvel characters, Bounty). With Mary Jane currently presumed dead, Peter encounters Felicia one night.

Spider-Man/Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do #1-6: Felicia Hardy’s asked to track down a missing friend, while Peter Parker hunts for the source of the mysterious drug-related death of one of his students. When these two events bring them back together, they team up to take down a threat who can give people a high – or kill them – without ever being in the same room. This one tends to be a “love it or hate it” series for people, especially considering it retcons Felicia’s backstory to include sexual assault as motivation for becoming the Black Cat, but there is an awful lot of Peter/Felicia content in it. Warning that rape is a major theme in the story. 

Marvel Knights Spider-Man #1-12: Aunt May is kidnapped, and Peter’s on a race around the clock to save her before time runs out. Felicia’s the first person he calls for help. Feilcia takes a few issues to become a major part of this story, but it’s all one big arc, and she has a huge part in it, especially in the ending. Also features Peter and Felicia both calling each other “baby” when they’re not in a romantic relationship.

Spider-Man Unlimited (2004) #14: A Story. Felicia enlists Peter help to break into the Latverian Embassy.

Amazing Spider-Man #606-607: Post-Brand New Day, the link between Peter Parker and Spider-Man has been erased from the minds of almost everyone, including the ones who knew him best – like Felicia Hardy. It doesn’t stop them from teaming up – or hooking up.

The Many Loves of Spider-Man: A oneshot collecting several different stories about the women in Peter’s life. The Black Cat one is very cute.

Web of Spider-Man (2009) #11-12: When Spider-Man goes missing, Mary Jane contacts Felicia Hardy to find him.

After this we hit Superior Spider-Man and things get not good for a while, which you’re probably familiar with if you’re getting into them through the current ASM run, where Peter’s finally re-unmasked to Felicia and restored her memories. But that should bring you up to date!

Some other continuity PeterFelicia recs:

Spider-Man Noir & Spider-Man Noir: Eyes Without a Face: Four issues each, Spider-Man Noir takes place during the Great Depression. The nephew of socialist rabble rousers, Peter Parker is an angry young man taken under the wing of Ben Urich, Bugle Reporter, when he’s bitten by a mysterious spider. Felicia Hardy owns a speakeasy, the Black Cat, and knows all about the criminal underworld. Felicia first appears in Spider-Man Noir, but the romance doesn’t kick off until Eyes Without a Face. If you liked Noir Peter in Into the Spider-Verse, I recommend his comics.

Marvel’s Spider-Man: The Heist: While Felicia has a quest in the main game, she makes an appearance during The Heist, the first DLC from the PS4 Spider-Man game. When Felicia starts stealing drives belonging to a major crime family, she claims she needs to complete the heist to save her son -- leaving Peter to wonder if the child is his.  

If you don’t have the time/cash/inclination to play the game but still want to see the PeterFelicia scenes, this video has all the Black Cat stakeout missions from the main game, and this hour long video basically has the entirety of The Heist.

[technicolortheshow]

BOHREN & DER CLUB OF GORE

My Bloody Quarantine part 1

The last six months have been pretty shit, hey? It looks like there is no future anymore... global warming, COVID-19, Australia on fire, wars... shall I go on?

ANYWAY, we are not here to talk about a stupid government led by a buffoon with a mop in his head (ops!) but to praise one of the bands who kept me company during this bloody quarantine of mine: BOHREN & DER CLUB OF GORE. This German act, in fact, hung out with me during the several nights of insomnia, which, trust me, were devastating, loooooong and cold. Cigarettes after cigarettes, wine after wine, I thoroughly enjoyed the discography of the quartet and I thought it was time to write something about them.

Because of the slow-moving and nocturnal nature of their music, a doom jazz plenty of end-of-the-world ballads, or, in their words "unholy ambient mixture of slow jazz ballads, Black Sabbath doom and down-tuned Autopsy sounds", I happily matched their records to these apocalyptic months. Just like a dark noir by Leo Malet, or a Terry Gilliam dystopian movie, Bohren & Der Club of Gore managed to convey, over the last 25 years, a deep sense of ethical abandonment and claustrophobic imprisonment. There is no future in the music of the German band, no escape from reality, which is doomed and looped into an endless limbo. A not long time ago - which now seems AGES ago, to be honest - I went to the White Cube for the latest Kiefer’s exhibition. I believe that the combination of BCG music and Kiefer’s artworks pretty well. 

Over the last months, while listening to them, between a Medoc and a Nebbiolo, I was picturing the band in a smoky “bar at the end of the world”, channelling some kind of Tom Hillenbrant’s dystopian political setting or a Lynde Mallison’s grey cold painting. The best description, though, comes from the band website: “Dear friends of nighttime drives, remote bridges to nowhere and empty multi-storey car parks”. Club Silencio state of mind, indeed.

The ensemble has constantly been releasing high-quality records since 1994, with the first doom jazz album called MOTEL GORE - albeit the first release was a 1992 cassette filled with post-hardcore noise published under the name of Langspielkassette. MOTEL GORE is, as someone brilliantly described it “audio pointillism”. I think this similitude is accurate: the band did draw tiny dots of obscure, eerie, music on canvases of sound. “Die Fulci Nummer” drives me mad, with its spectral adagio: it’s so good it would’ve been great in the Fulci’s masterpiece Non si Sevizia un Paperino. “Cairo Keller” is charming and evocative, reminding me of a possible soundtrack for Lovecraft The Nameless City. Extra points for the brilliant reference of the cover.

in 1997 BCG published MIDNIGHT RADIO, two hours of lynchian-LA-night-driving-without-a-destination soundtrack. if it is true that its predecessor "Gore Motel" is more song-oriented, and therefore a lot easier to listen to - it’s evident that Midnight Radio is more rewarding in its own special way: it’s a journey in the darkest corner of your mind. Yes, because the journeys BCG offers are not only external but often internal. The band has developed over the years a therapeutic dialogue between the listeners and their consciousness. Jungian jazz music anyone? LET’S DEBATE!  

By the way, while writing this article, I’ve realised how difficult is to talk about BCG music without quoting several cliches - everyone always ends up referring to the same stuff:” car parks”, “night drive”, “Lynch”. But I have to admit, in this case, it’s definitely true! Listening to BCG can really inspire these topics under our skins, as trivial as it sounds! The point is: they do it better than anyone else, they have been doing this forever and they represent the top in this particular sub-genre. With the results of a cinematographic component in their music that leads to these night drive scenarios, post-modern inner state of minds. Bravo!

Let’s go back to Midnight Radio, to BGC and their discography. It’s undeniable that their music fits perfectly in the set of the SLOW TV/MUSIC/YOUTUBE movement. From The Norway train to this 1986 Canadian TV show called “NIGHT WALK” (which, by the way, looks freaking awesome), from Andy Warhol’ “SLEEP” to Kiarostami or Tarkovsky cinema, the slow movement has left an imprint to contemporary culture. Arguably, BGC, with their long holistic records, is part of the movement. Calming the listeners and bringing them into a meditative state of mind, without being mindfulness - luckily. The point is: BCG makes you think about yourselves, finding out that you are someone you should be scared of! Know yourself, fear yourself!

All that Jazz came in 2000 with the thrilling “SUNSET MISSION”, thanks to the help of saxophonist Christoph Clöser. In this record the band opened up the sound, literally letting some fresh air to enter their music, easing the claustrophobic moods of the previous albums. A hint of lounge-ness came in, due to the mellow, yet sophisticated, sax of Mr Clöser. It is still quintessential BCG, with the nihilism of the band raising up form the bass. Slow, reiterated bass lines are running through the record, giving to Sunset Mission a gloomy, hypnotic cadence. The liner notes include a quote from Matt Wagner's Grendel comic book, which reads: "Alone in the comforting darkness the creature waits. As confusion reigns on this hellish stage, the deafening grind of machinery, the odious clot of chemical waste. Still, the trail of his ultimate prey leads through this steely maze to these, the addled offspring of the modern world.

According to many people, 2002 ‘BLACK EARTH” is BCG masterpiece. I don’t know yet, as I REALLY like them all. What I can say is that Black Earth sounds a lot more accessible, with an even more developed sense of ‘lounge-ness’ which was not so evident in the previous records.  Blach Earth is a good record. Perhaps the trick here is the balanced tempo of the saxophone. Perfectly played within the songs at the right time, Christoph Clöser’ sax conveys an open jazzy sound. One of my favourite directors ever is Jean-Pierre Melville, his movies are everything I like in term of style and plot. Noir a là Dashiell Hammett, but French and without hope - give me more of this, Hollywood, please! Enough of fucking Marvel heroes, give me noir hard-boiled movies! 

Black Earth could have easily been the perfect great soundtrack for Mr Melville’s movies - especially, IHMO, Bob le flambeur. Think about it: a french man, with a cigarette in his mouth, gambling his life for a young woman, in a dirty Marseille, with the BCG slow tempo doomed jazz. yasss please, give me more. Or a glacial Alain Delon killing his lover for money.

Black Earth was followed up, in 2005, by “GEISTERFAUST”, which is considered a slower than ever version of the former album. In Ghost Fist (this is the translation) Bohren & Der Club of Gore has stripped down its sound to the bone, becoming more gentle and less aggressive without any compromise. 5 songs only, named after the 5 fingers of the hand, for an hour of dark jazz. Again, excellent quality.

I have been buying BCG on CD, I think this music on vinyl does not sound perfect UNLESS you have an extremely high-quality sound system, Like some classical music issue, where you need to hear the pianissimo of the piano and single notes, BCG music deserves a very clean medium, I would say CD is the best.

Jazz de nuit again on their seventh album “DOLORES” published in 2008. This record is pure Badalamenti, pure Lynch in the night. Within the ten songs of Dolores, the core idea of slow-music is even more highlighted, with no guitars at all on the whole album and a sedated keyboard-based mood.  In 2009 the band released a 10 minute EP called “MITLEID LADY”. it is strange, because, albeit recorded just after Dolores, it sounds way more gloomy and somehow different. It is BCG but has another level of sophistication compared to the previous record. This step further in the direction of stylistic accuracy is confirmed two years after, in 2011, with another EP, this one named “BEILEID”. The cover of the record is a reference to the famous Edward Gorey, or at least I believe. 

The record includes the cover of  "Catch My Heart" by German heavy metal band Warlock, with vocals from Mike Patton. I believe this is the only song with a singer in the entire catalogue of the band. Beileid is a cinematic mood-changer composed of pained saxophone solos, and ghostly string sections, an album that will sweep your mind away into dreamland. A must-have IHMO.

In 2013 the ensemble released “PIANO NIGHTS” probably the warmest record of the band. The Piano obviously helps a lot in making the sound softer and brighter - candle lighted rigorously. A German Gothic feast, with a touch of Teutonic expressionism - who remembers the movie The Hands Of Orlac. BCG should definitely play the soundtracks of this movie. A twisted, dark, thriller with Gothic and expressionist elements. After many years, the band introduces the 

Finally, in 2020, the band published “PATCHOULI BLUE”. A pristine, unique, summa of their work, which manages to sound similar to other releases of the band, yet unique, with something different, like a small accent. 50s noir glam, Badalamenti, German Gothic, Slow-Movement philosophy are all elements we can find in this record, but there is something else: a hint of electronic, which can possibly open new territories to the band. I am curious to see if they will become a techno ambient act in the like of Gas (joking).

Aristotle once said that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. I guess this is the whole point in BCG’s music. The synergy the band has been consistently showing over the last 3 decades, and the constant refinement of their own skills. 

VIVA BOHREN! 

[arbeaone]

The Skinny Magazine Published on May 01, 2017

[ View larger version here ] Text from the article can be read below. (There may be some errors.)

The Mighty Barratt

Beloved curmudgeonly comic Julian Barratt makes a jump to the big screen with the endearingly silly Mindhorn, in which he plays a washed-up actor caught up in a murder plot. He talks about the pomposity of actors and a possible return of The Mighty Boosh

Interview: Jamie Dunn

Movie actors are a funny old lot. Essentially they're big kids who've been paid handsomely to raid the dressing up box, but to hear them talk you'd think they were curing cancer. Comedian, musician, writer and actor Julian Barratt finds his fellow thespians' self-importance endlessly hilarious. "It’s so hard to not sound like an arse when you talk about acting,” he says down the phone from London. “So it's a very rich territory for comedy.” You can see this self-seriousness at work on shows like Inside the Actors Studio and those round table discussions The Hollywood Reporter do around the time of the Oscars. “Oh, those round tables are just great,” Barratt chuckles. “They're full of people trying to make out they don't care about acting and it’s just a job. ‘We're just like plumbers, but working with different materials; the plumber works with pipes, I work with human emotions.' Or when you talk about how privileged you are to work with whoever - even that comes across as annoying."

Barratt channels some of this pomposity into Richard Thorncroft, the protagonist of Mindhorn, his inspired new comedy, which he co-wrote with Simon Farnaby. At the start of the film we discover Thorncroft enjoyed some low-level fame in the 80s as the title star of Mindhorn, a cheesy detective show in which the titular sleuth uses his bionic eye to literally see the truth; his ocular gift helped him interrogate bad guys, but it also came in handy while seducing women. We see snippets of the show - which comes across like a mashup of Bergerac and The Six Million Dollar Man - throughout this feature-length comedy, but the majority of the action takes place in the modern day, where Thorncroft has become a grotesque has-been; overweight and toupeed, he reaches a career nadir when he loses his latest gig, a TV ad for orthopaedic socks, to John Nettles (of Bergerac fame).

Thorncroft is a joke, but Barratt can certainly empathise. “He is very much a version of me after a couple of bad decisions,” laughs Barratt. He reckons at actors are a few poor choices away from Thorncroft’s predicament. "I don't think it takes much: make the wrong career move here and there, and a couple of bad relationships, and suddenly you're on your own and you're grasping at straws.”

Barratt is being modest, surely. The 48-year-old has been a key player in some of the 21st century's most feverishly adored British comedies. With Noel Fielding he created the wildly surreal The Mighty Boosh, in which he played “jazz maverick” Howard Moon, a character even more pompous than Richard Thorncroft. Then there’s Dan Ashcroft, the self-loathing journalist who finds himself inside a maelstrom of idiocy in East London's hipster scene as depicted in Chris Morris and Charlie Brooker’s prescient sitcom Nathan Barley. He also had a recurring role in spoof supernatural medical drama Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace. And that’s not to mention Will Sharpe's brilliant Channel 4 show Flowers, from last year, in which Barratt gave his darkest- and finest- performance yet as a suicidal children’s book author.

Despite this success, Barratt insists a Richard Thorncroft-style fall from grace is a real worry. “Sure, I've made shows that have connected and that I'm very proud of, but you're always trying to think of the next thing you're going to do. You have to keep asking, 'Do I still have it in me to do another thing that people want?' I have friends who never got into show business at all, and they have proper jobs - they do their job and they're not constantly thinking, 'What can I do next?' 'How can I make it valid?’ ‘Is this going to work?’ 'Are people going to be interested?’ They just do a job and then at the end of the week they turn off and go out. I sometimes envy them that sort of life.”

We're glad he's stuck with comedy, as Mindhorn contains some of Barratt's most gut-bustingly funny material. With his career in the toilet, Richard Thorncroft is given a reprieve. When a deranged serial killer on the Isle of Man tells the police he’ll negotiate, but only with Mindhorn, whom he believes to be a real detective, Thorncroft is given a cushy gig resurrecting his old character to try and solve the murders. Files the film with ¡Three Amigos!, Galaxy Quest and Tropic Thunder, the other great comedies about actors being mistaken for their characters and pulled into real-life peril. The initial idea came from Barratt’s friend and co-star Simon Farnaby. “Really nerdy fans of The Mighty Boosh will know that Mindhorn is the name of a half-man, half-fish creature that appears in one of the Boosh's songs,” Farnaby explains when we meet him in Glasgow ahead of the film’s Scottish premiere at Glasgow Film Festival. “He's very obscure, he appears in one of the songs from the radio show, I think. Julian had given me the CD and I heard the name Mindhorn and I just wrote it down because it sounded like an 80s detective show, you know, these one word shows like Wycliffe or Spender.”

The pair clearly love this very particular genre; you have to love something to satirise it as well as Barratt and Farnaby do in Mindhorn. But the film isn't simply a nostalgic piss-take in the mould of, say, MacGruber, Will Forte’s hilariously crude parody of MacGyver, the action-adventure American equivalent of the shows Mindhorn send up. Barratt came up with the twist that the films should be about the actor who used to be in Mindhorn, and Richard Thorncroft was born. This was over a decade ago. "Originally Julian thought he was too young to play Thorncroft,” says Farnaby. “Whoever played the character had to be old enough to be believable as an aging has-been. We thought: let's get someone like Ben Kingsley to do it!” But so slow was the writing process that Barratt soon found he was approaching the perfect vintage to take on the role. “He likes to tell people he put on weight for the part,” chuckles Farnaby, “but he didn't, he just carried on doing what he normally does.”

Barratt is far more complimentary about his writing partner: "Simon is great because he's very pragmatic. He's great at just getting to the end of things. I'll get really caught up with the problems and the details, agonise over them a lot, so we were a good team." How does he feel about writing on his own?” "I can’t stand it to be honest. I'll do it. I mean, I like to write with someone and then go off and write a bit on my own and bring it back. But writing on your own is lonely, it’s bloody awful."

Talking of writing partnerships, Barratt is still best known for his wildly inventive stage show and BBC sitcom The Mighty Boosh, which he co-wrote and co-starred in with Noel Fielding. It was a classic chalk and cheese double act: Fielding's Vince Noir was a glam rock dadaist with a child-like spirit of adventure while Barratt’s Howard Moon was a curmudgeonly jazz-enthusiast and the butt of almost every joke. Rumours of a revival, or even a feature-length project, have been floating around since the pair's last official Boosh performance in 2009.

Barratt sounds open to the idea. "I don’t want to start any rumours, but we never finished with the Boosh," he says. "We parked it essentially. So it's like a crazy old car that we drove around in, and it’s still there. We could get it out, we could look at it, try and get the engine going again, give it a new coat of paint. Sometimes you think it’s best just to leave something where it was and not try and recreate that magic, but who knows?" He gives a long pause and chuckles. 'We'll probably run out of money at some point and you'll see us doing it.”

[ancientbooshartifacts]

Howard's Cure

Author: JoeyTheRipper1

Year: 2009

Rating: PG

Characters: Howard, Vince, Naboo, Bob Fossil, Dixon Bainbridge

Howard hung his head as he moved from shadow to shadow making his way to Naboo’s Kiosk, looking around he cursed softy; he had to walk in the moonlight to get the rest of the way.

He took a deep breath and ran as fast as he could.

Howard knocked on the door to Naboo’s shop, the door opened ‘Naboo…’

‘What do you want, Howard?’ Naboo asked, not trying to hide his annoyance that Howard Moon the Freak of Nature was at his door at half twelve in the morning.

‘Naboo, I need help!’

‘That’s obvious’ Naboo said with a nod. ‘You’re creeping around the Zoo at night, that’s very weird.’

‘No it’s not that, and for the record I’m sneaking around the zoo at night because that’s the only time I’m not recognizable!’

‘No one is as freakish as you, Howard. You stick out like an orange in a garden salad.’

‘Naboo that’s why I’m here; I need-' Howard looked around, ‘you to fix me,’ he said in a whisper.

‘Fix you?’ Naboo repeated raising an eyebrow.

‘Fix this!’ Howard gestured to his chest and Naboo’s eyes went wide.

‘I can’t-‘

‘Naboo, you’re a Shaman! Haven’t you got something that will fix me?’ Howard asked, dropping to his knees and looking up into the Tiny Shaman’s eyes as pleadingly as he could.

‘Oh alright, Howard… Just stand up’ Naboo sighed.

Howard stood up, ‘thank you, Naboo.’

‘Ballbag.’ Naboo muttered as he turned and went inside, Howard stepped in and shut the door.

=======================

Fossil sipped his coffee out of his pocket cup and picked up the phone on his desk ‘Hello, put me through to Dixon Bainbridge... thank you.'

There was a dial tone then a very sleepy and very plummy voice barked "Bainbridge."

Fossil smiled giddily. 'Hello my-Bainbridge!'

"Fossil do you have any idea how late it is?"

'Well you told me to tell you if something is going on.'

"What could be going on at half twelve in the morning?"

======================

‘Right First things first… We’re going to have to assess the damage,’ Naboo said, turning to Howard.

‘D-d-damage?’ Howard stuttered, terror seizing control of his insides. ‘What do you mean, Naboo?’

‘Easy Howard…’ Naboo said holding up a hand ‘I meant you’re… uh…’ Naboo cleared his throat awkwardly and Howard flushed as he realized that Naboo was looking at his chest.

‘Oh,’ Howard said as he reached for the top button on his collar and tried not to notice Naboo crinkle his face in disgust as the buttons came undone and he took his shirt off exposing the horrific sight underneath.

Naboo took a deep breath, apparently steadying himself. 'Right... I guess we're going to have to call in the big guns.'

'What do you mean?' Howard asked, knowing that the words “big guns” was the prelude to something painful.

'You'll see Howard.' Naboo said with a mystical tone in his voice.

'Follow me.'

=====================

It was cold when Vince woke up, the keepers hut still alarmingly quiet; Howard’s bed had gone missing a few days ago and he still couldn't adjust to its absence, Howard had fled into isolation somewhere in the zoo around the same time and all anyone knew was that his jobs were always done before any of them got up.

This was strange because half of the jobs had to be done in the middle of the day.

Shaking his head Vince got out from under his sheets and blinked, he had been only sleeping in his sleeping bag, he couldn't remember covering himself in sheets.

'Howard,' he smiled.

The room was freezing as Vince tried to untangle himself from the mound of sheets twisted in his sleeping bag. Howard must have bundled him up during the night because he knew he’d only gone to sleep with the sleeping bag. Shivering in the chill, he picked one up and threw it over his shoulders to keep himself warm. He noticed that it had a very Howard scent to it. Head swirling from the comfortingly masculine scent, he wondered over to the light-switch and clicked it on. He blinked; the place had been a mess when he'd gone to sleep and he pulled the blanket tighter around him shrouding himself in the scent of his missing friend.

'Howard,' he said again, knowing Howard was still looking after him although his daily presence was missing.

It was strange how much Vince was missing Howard now he wasn't around lurking in the corners. He'd never really had the time to notice before, but the past few days had seen him realising just how much Howard filled his day and made him Vince; with Howard missing, Vince was missing a piece of himself.

Vince Noir realised at that very moment, standing bundled up in his best friends blanket, that he could never find anything be it clothing, or accessory or even a girl - or indeed a guy - to replace Howard; Howard couldn't be replaced and Vince made his resolve that he'd find Howard and bring him back to his rightful place at his side... after he had a cup of tea and a packet of crisps.

===================

‘Right, Bollo; make sure you’ve got it plugged in right.’

‘Why exactly is Bollo here?’ Howard asked.

‘Because I can’t do this alone.’ Naboo said, ‘it takes quite a lot of muscle to lug that thing around.’ Naboo said.

‘Isn’t this a bit overkill, Naboo?’ Howard asked as Bollo the two ton Gorilla adjusted the tightness of the straps that were keeping Howard’s arms over his head, tied to the table by his hands and feet Howard had a clear view of the massive machine pointing directly at his chest.

‘I could only get it in one size.’ Naboo said as he adjusted the dials powering the machine.

‘Do not worry, Howard, Naboo knows what he doing.’ Bollo said patting Howard’s arm comfortingly.

The gorilla lumbered over to Naboo’s side and Howard heard Naboo say ‘do you know what this button does, Bollo?’ Bollo shook his head.

‘Neither do I.’

This did little to calm Howard and he found himself missing Vince more now than he had in the past few weeks.

‘Ready Howard?’ Naboo asked.

Howard craned his neck over to look at him ‘Of course I’m not, just do it.’

I’m doing this for Vince, he needs me and I need to be normal, he reminded himself.

‘Alright then,’ Naboo said he put a pair of sunglasses on and nodded to Bollo who nodded, adjusting the dials and pressing a button.

‘Not that one you berk!’ Naboo snapped, but all too late because the machine hummed into life and then there was a fire of electricity flowing through Howard’s body and he let out a howl of pain; it continued on moments after and then Howard felt something move against his chest as the electricity shot down the length of his limbs; he felt the impression of three tiny needle fine points and then another jolt of electricity sent Howard TJ Moon into a world of unconsciousness.

=========================

'What is it?' Bollo asked; staring as the creature removed the skin that had kept it safe for its entire life; standing for the first time ever it looked around and clicked its claws the moment it saw the shaman; he's responsible for this machine.

'Quick! Catch it Bollo!' Naboo shouted.

Bollo lunged at it with a glass jar and moving as fast as it could it dropped down off of the table and snapped at the Gorillas feet, this is all Vince's fault!

Anger rippled through its entire body making its tail curve, I’m going to get him for this! It fumed as it scurried off, intent on getting even with "that electro freak". Just the mere thought of electro making it quiver. It had been the most painful experience of its life, though that wasn't that hard to achieve since Howard TJ Moon kept himself out of harms way... lost in thoughts it was quite startled when a shoe came down right in front of it; clicking in alarm it instinctively used the stinger nature had provided for it and brought it straight through the leather of the shoe, there was a yell of pain from above and then the foot slid backwards moments before the ground beneath it shook with the impact of the zookeepers body on the concrete, it climbed up the side of the corpse and set to work on feeding before the flesh was too cold.

=============================

Coming to with a startled gasp Howard sat up, ‘What happened?' he asked.

‘You alright Howard?’ Naboo asked.

‘Yes, why wouldn’t I be?’

‘Ah,’ Naboo looked to Bollo and they shared an uneasy moment ‘no reason.’ Naboo said looking back to him.

‘Am I normal?’

‘Yeah, you are Howard.’

Joy coursed through Howard’s body, but the grim look on the shamans face made Howard know something was up. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Well Howard…’ Naboo said ‘we managed to get it off of you but you see the machine seems to have woken it up-‘

‘What’s it?’ Howard asked genuinely confused.

‘Something very nasty,’ Naboo murmured, ‘but the moment it detached from you it ran off, after something.

‘After what?’

‘That’s just it; we don’t know… it was attached to you, what were you thinking about?’

‘Well I was thinking about getting rid of it…’

‘And?’ Naboo coached.

‘Oh my god, Vince!’ Howard jumped up and ran out of the room.

Bollo looked to Naboo ‘I’ve got a bad feeling about this,’ he said and Naboo nodded agreeing with him.

=========================

There was a knock on the door and Vince jumped, startled from his fitful doze, he stood up at the second knock.

‘Who is it?’

There was no answer but there was another knock and this was just as good to him; Vince opened the door and jumped back in horror, tripping over and banging his head on the floor shattering reality into star filled dreams, unaware of something grabbing his ankle and dragging him out of the hut.

=========================

Running as fast as he could the moment Howard reached the hut he saw that the door was wide open and not a sign of Vince to be seen. Pacing around the hut his thoughts slipped out on his tongue, muttering as he walked. ‘If I was this thing where would I have taken Vince?’ All it took was a few more paces and Howard had a revelation.

‘Wait a minute, this thing was a part of me, so it’s going to be thinking like me...’ Howard stopped pacing for a moment. ‘Right’ Howard said ‘Think like me.’ he commanded himself.

But like anyone who has ever tried this Howard found it impossible it is to force his brain to think like he usually did. Howard sighed as his mind remained blank of all thoughts and he searched around for something that would help, he spied half a packet of crisps and a cup of tea sitting on the table, and he started piecing together what had happened.

‘Vince must’ve been sitting here when the thing came to the hut… and he must’ve opened the door to it thinking it was something else.’ Howard nodded, that seemed about right given the evidence. ‘And these marks must be where it dragged Vince out…’

Howard stepped out of the door and startled at the path drawn in the scattered leaves. ‘It can’t be that far ahead if it’s dragging Vince.’

Howard started after the tracks on the ground.

=============================

Naboo and Bollo stood in Fossils office; Dixon Bainbridge sat in Fossils chair cleaning his rifle looking at Naboo 'so this thing detached itself from Howard and ran off to who knows where?' Bainbridge asked summarising what Naboo had just told him.

'Yes.' Naboo sighed in annoyance 'for the one millionth time.' he muttered Bollo grunted.

'Look Naboo-' Fossil started but Bainbridge held up his hand and cut across him.

'Fossil, why don't you be useful for a change and make a pot of coffee?'

'Sure thing, sugar dumpling.' Fossil said all too eager to oblige and headed out of the room.

Bainbridge pretended not to notice what Fossil had called him and looked back to Naboo.

'What does this thing look like?'

'That!' Bollo yelled pointing to one of the monitors and taking a big step back Bainbridge and Naboo looked to where Bollo was pointing; Bainbridge wrinkled his nose but was otherwise nonplussed by the sight of a scorpion devouring one of the zookeepers.

'That’s at least the second person it's eaten in the past two hours.'

'Thing eats quickly,' Bainbridge scorned, 'it's quite large, are you sure that came from Moon?'

'It’s grown considerably larger,' Naboo said, ‘That's the only one in existence anyway, so it has to be.'

'Only one in existence?' Bainbridge muttered to himself watching as it finished eating the zookeeper and scurry off 'where's it going?' he asked.

'Dunno, but if anyone knows where it would go, it’s Howard.'

'Moon?'

'Well it was a part of him.'

Bainbridge stood and left the room nearly knocking Fossil over as he passed him Fossil watched after him and looked to the pot of coffee in his hand he shrugged and poured some into his pocket cup.

===============================

‘Moon what the hell is going on!’ Howard looked around at Bainbridge.

‘What do you mean?’ I haven’t got time for this, Vince is in trouble!

‘You're roaming around the zoo at night and now this thing running rampant.’

‘Thing?’ Howard asked, if he’s seen it then maybe he knows where it’s gone.

‘Yes, the hideous thing that dragged Noir off.’

‘Where’d it drag him to?’

‘Who knows? That thing moves so damn quickly it could be halfway across Shoreditch by now.’

‘No it’s still here,’ Howard said he looked around then looked back to Bainbridge.

‘How’d you find me?’

‘Look there, Moon,’ Bainbridge sneered pointing to a security camera. ‘Fossils been watching you all night.’

‘He has?’ Howard asked.

‘Yes he has, he rang me up at half twelve telling me all about your “activities”.’

‘I’ve got to get to Fossil!’ Howard said running off; Bainbridge following after him.

==============================

Fossil, Naboo and Bollo watched the two grown men running full pelt from camera to camera getting closer and closer.

‘Coffee?’ Fossil asked holding up a pot of coffee, Naboo and Bollo shook their heads.

‘Oh well,’ he said as he poured some more coffee into his pocket cup and looked back to the screen.

‘Holy Shit Sauce!’ he yelled lurching back so suddenly that he poured coffee over himself and instinctively the rest of the pot was flung everywhere else.

‘OW!’ he howled attempting to stop the coffee boiling through his clothing by brushing it off; which succeeded in making the coffee spread through the material much more quickly.

Naboo and Bollo wiped the coffee that had splashed on them off as Fossil sat back down and looked to the monitor

‘What the hump was that?’ he said leaning in to look at the monitor closer unaware of the zoom button on the remote control.

‘That the thing that took Vince!’ Bollo informed Fossil.

‘Why’d it take him Moon?’ Bainbridge’s voice barked, all three in the office jumped and looked to the door as it flung open and Howard stepped in followed closely by Bainbridge.

‘I don’t know!’ Howard snapped for what seemed to be the one millionth time. ‘Where is it?’ He snapped looking to Fossil.

Fossil instinctively looked to the monitor.

‘In the jungle room.’ Howard went around the side of the desk and came up beside him and Bainbridge appeared on the other side, both staring intently at the monitor.

‘It’s certainly grown a lot.' Howard looked to Fossil finally noticing that he was drenched in coffee ‘Why’re you covered in coffee?’

‘Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?’ Fossil replied in a childish sneer.

This was news to Howard and he looked down at his bare chest and cleared his throat. ‘So where’d it drag Vince?’

‘Into the jungle room,’ Fossil replied.

‘Seems the ideal place for a bug,’ Naboo said.

‘Plenty of places to hide.’ Howard said knowing that he liked the idea of it too.

‘Isn’t that where you’ve been sleeping, Moon?’ Bainbridge said.

‘... Yes?’ Howard replied, the word hitching in his throat. 'It seems obvious now that that’s where it would take him.’

‘Why?’ Fossil asked.

‘No time to explain, I’ve got to go and rescue Vince!’

Howard made to walk past Bainbridge but the other man straightened and stepped in his way so they were only a few millimetres apart with Bainbridge’s musky breath meeting Howard's own minty-fresh one in the tiny space between them.

‘Get out of the way, Bainbridge!’ he stuttered.

‘Not until you tell us what the hell is going on, Moon!’ Bainbridge barked back, the two glared at each other; paying no mind to Fossil who was craning his neck around to see what was going on behind his chair and not noticing the screen panning around to the sight of Vince lying on a camp bed.

‘Listen Bainbridge we haven’t got time for this, Vince is in trouble!’

‘He’s your wife, Moon; not mine! This is my zoo, however, and I demand to know what is going on!’

Howard didn’t know what to argue about first, Vince being his wife, the zoo belonging to Bainbridge, or telling Bainbridge what was actually going on, he just stood lost for words breathing in the other mans musky breath; his small eyes darted to the screen and saw Vince his heart leapt into his throat and he straightened, gathering all of his strength together for what he had to do.

‘I’ll tell you later; meanwhile’ Howard punched Bainbridge hard under the jaw sending the other man sprawling to the ground in a mixture of shock and pain.

‘I’ve got to save Vince!’ Howard took off out of the office heading to the jungle room.

===============================

Vince groaned and put a hand to his head.

‘What happened?’

‘Don’t speak.’ Whispered a clicking voice that made the hair on the back of Vince’s neck stand up.

‘Howard?’ he asked.

‘Not quite.’ The voice said.

‘What do you mean not quite?’ Vince asked ‘you either are Howard or your not.’

‘I was a part of him, but now we are separate… do you know why, Vince?’

‘No.’

‘Because of you!’ the accusing tone in the voice made Vince shiver ‘he demanded our separation, because of you! We were happy before you, Vince!’

‘Look I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ Vince sat up and looked around.

‘Look at me Vince, remember me?’ a giant scorpion like creature the colour of skin crawled around the trunk of one of the trees and scurried right up to Vince, who stared in horror.

‘What are you?’

‘Do you remember calling Howard a freak?’

‘Yeah I do, but that was because of that hideous thing on his chest-'

‘That was me!’ the scorpion snapped and Vince opened his mouth in horror. ‘He separated us because of you!’

‘Look mate.’ Vince said, trying to keep calm. ‘I had no idea Howard would do that… he never struck me as the kind of guy who’d have a surgery-'

‘He had the shaman separate us… and all because of you, he may deny it; but he only separated us because you had a problem with me; you're the reason why I’m alone! I’m going to kill you!’

‘What, no!'

The scorpion scurried forwards but before it could reach him a shout from the door made the scorpion pause.

‘Leave him!’ Vince looked to Howard and letting out a quiet sigh of relief he couldn’t help but notice how much more attractive Howard was without the horrible bulge in the middle of his chest.

‘Howard- ’ The way the scorpion said the word; the name... and the way it turned to Howard said to Vince that it was needed Howard the same way he needed him, to fill that space that was empty without him.

The scorpion relaxed lowering its stinger; watching it Vince wondered how no one had noticed it before, the whole boxing incident, he wondered how long it had been attached to him; Vince found himself trying to figure it all out, despite how dangerous the situation was, how could Howard have gotten this creature inside of him? He looked to Howard as the tall northerner started one of his speeches with his dark chocolate voice calm and empowering.

'If you should want to kill anyone; it’s me... I was the one who went to Naboo, I was the one who decided to get you removed. A better man would have accepted the way he was, a better man would have payed no mind to what anyone said, but I’m not a better man, and for that reason alone; I’m the one you should kill.’

‘Oh cut the crap Howard! I’ve been you all your life, I know how you think, and you can’t change my mind! I am going to kill Vince!’

‘No!’ both men cried out as the scorpion turned back to Vince and readied its stinger.

There was a loud gunshot and the ground below the scorpion seemed to explode and it scurried out of the clearing.

'Out of the way, Moon!' Bainbridge barked and pushed Howard aside with such force that he toppled over 'Where'd that parasite go?' Howard and Vince pointed in the direction it had run off in.

'What are you doing Bainbridge?' Vince asked as Bainbridge made to go after it.

'That specimen is one of a kind; you won’t understand, Noir, but that has the potential to make me a lot of money.' and then Bainbridge was gone.

For a few long minutes Vince and Howard remained still, staring after Bainbridge, both listening to the man's shouts and the sound of his rifle getting fainter and fainter. By the time they couldn’t hear a thing they slowly looked to each other.

‘Lets-' Vince's voice dissolved in his throat and he remained staring into the small eyes of his long since absent friend.

'Get out of here?' Howard offered.

'Yeah,' Vince said with a nod.

‘Good idea, Little Man.'

Little man. Vince inwardly sighed, content that he had Howard back.

=====================================

‘What a crazy night, eh?’ Howard said as both he and Vince shut the door to the jungle room.

Vince smiled, good old Howard. ‘Do you think they’ll get out of there?’

‘Nah.’ Howard said dragging the bench in front of the door and locking it ‘If the wolves can’t get out then they can’t either.’

Vince nodded. ‘Thanks for coming to save me, Howard.’

‘It’s no problem Little Man,’ Howard said, puffing his chest. ‘It’s what I do – I’m a Maverick, a master of the jungle. You know you’re not the first I’ve saved, Vince. No sir!’

‘Yeah,’ Vince said with a small laugh ‘though technically it was Bainbridge who saved me, not you, Howard.’

‘I was mere seconds away from saving you.’ Howard replied, affronted.

‘Sure you were,’ Vince said with a sarcastic nod, ‘Let’s get back to the hut; my head hurts.’

Howard’s eyes narrowed, searching Vince's head for a sign of damage, Vince noticed and felt a small swell of happiness. ‘I hit my head,” he said with a shrug.

‘The thing is Vince… how did it get you into the jungle room so easily without a single scratch?’

‘Dunno.’ Vince said ‘I guess it was really delicate.’

‘It dragged you through the zoo; you should be all cuts and scratches.’

‘It’s one of life’s mysteries, Howard. We’ll never know,’ Vince grinned, the pair bickering their way towards the keepers hut and a few more hours sleep before their night shift officially ended.

[screengrabba]

Movie Review: IN A LONELY PLACE (1950)

While watching Nicholas Ray’s In a Lonely Place (1950), I was conscious of my body’s physical and emotional reaction while seeing the film take a dark and sinister turn. These near visceral reactions reminded me of those I felt when seeing other films that deal with obsessive, fatal attraction: Lolita (1963), Fear (1995), Obsessed (2009) to name just a few. None of these re-imaginings, however, seem to resonate as deeply and be as successfully charged with social commentary than In a Lonely Place, which follows a troubled Hollywood screenwriter (Humphrey Bogart) and his beautiful neighbor (Gloria Grahame) as they begin a love affair in the midst of a murder investigation.

Ray’s film is yet another self-reflexive film about the world of Hollywood, and the exhausting people and creative processes that seem to keep the infamous community thriving. Still, it’s innovative and refreshing in the way it presents its commentary through a dark, pessimistic, and immersive lens. Not only does the film argue that Hollywood bewitches and entraps the souls who fly too close to its light-- it swallows these souls whole, with no apparent hope of redemption, let alone reincarnation.

For validity’s sake, this motivation can be seen when comparing the differences between Dorothy B. Hughes’ book, In a Lonely Place, and Nicholas Ray’s cinematic adaptation of the book. In the book, Dixon is a wannabe writer for the purpose of gaining his uncle’s money. Hughe’s version of Dixon never writes a word, so the film’s writers, Edmund North and Andrew Solt, created Humphrey Bogart’s Dixon with the intention of making him an experienced, even tired, screenwriter. This is an integral aspect of the film’s plot (“artistic integrity,” anyone?).

A quick and shallow read of this film may produce feelings of animosity or resentment towards Dixon, who seems to play a role in creating a narrative of dispensable or commodified women at the hands of charming yet deeply tormented men. However, Dixon is a veteran of the Hollywood scene and, parallel to the ways we as humans develop our own values and personalities, is just a reflection of the environment he’s grown in. He’s tired of the monotony he endures, surrounded by sell outs, social climbers, and boring, predictable screenplays. 

Much like his last name, Dixon Steele has grown hard towards the false pretenses, trimmings, and ideologies of Hollywood, and doesn’t soften up until Laurel Gray brings color and meaning back into his life. In seeing the redeeming and lovable qualities she coaxes out of him, I felt for him. I mourned for him as he reacted to Laurel’s “betrayals” and mistrust, because I knew he was only reacting out of the penetrative love he has for her, and taking out his deep-seated resentment towards a city full of relentless isolation.

In the book Dixon is a complete, psychotic murderer and he’s so far gone that readers are unable to sympathize with him at all. Bogart’s Dixon, occasionally showing glimpses of his sweet, charming self when around those he loves, is just another cog in the morally compromised system of Hollywood.

With a genre and style as engaging and heart-pounding as film noir, and with a theme as emotionally evocative as love and how far one is willing to go to maintain it, In a Lonely Place constructs two beautiful, empathy-evoking characters in Dixon and Laurel. The film seduces audiences into rooting for their hopeless love story.

The ending is film-noir at it’s finest; dark, tragic, and emotional. It’s representative of the unique love human nature craves from others, but more than that, it echoes the self-nurturing human nature desperately needs.

[superdorkcat]

DCEU Movies in Development: A Master Post

Last Edited: May 01, 2019

Since Shazam! is coming out soon, I thought I’d make a master post of all the various DCEU movies in development. However, since there’s a huge amount of movies in development, I might miss one or two. Be sure to let me know if I do. 

Also, as a side-note, I broke Birds of Prey and Wonder Woman 1984 into three segments of story, crew, and cast, but since things are less clear in regards to The Batman, The Suicide Squad, and Aquaman 2, I wasn’t able to do the same for them.

Confirmed Release Dates:

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) - February 7, 2020

The Story: Since the events of Suicide Squad, Batman has disappeared, leaving Gotham City unprotected from crime, and Harley Quinn has left the Joker. When Cassandra Cain, a young girl, comes across a diamond belonging to crime lord Black Mask, Harley joins forces with Black Canary, Huntress, and Renee Montoya to help protect her.

The Crew: Cathy Yan (director), Margot Robbie, Sue Kroll, Bryan Unkeless (producers), Christina Hodson (screenwriter), Matthew Libatique (cinematographer)

The Cast: Margot Robbie (Harley Quinn), Jurnee Smollett-Bell (Black Canary), Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Huntress), Rosie Perez (Renee Montoya), Ella Jay Basco (Cassandra Cain), Ewan McGregor (Black Mask), Chris Messina (Victor Zsasz)

Wonder Woman 1984 - June 5, 2020

The Story: Diana Prince comes into conflict with the Soviet Union during the Cold War in the 1980s, and finds a formidable foe in the form of the Cheetah.

The Crew: Patty Jenkins (director), Charles Roven, Deborah Snyder, Patty Jenkins, Stephen Jones, Gal Gadot (producers), Patty Jenkins, Geoff Johns, David Callaham (screenwriters), Patty Jenkins, Geoff Johns (writers), Hans Zimmer (composer), Matthew Jensen (cinematographer), and Richard Pearson (editor)

The Cast: Gal Gadot (Wonder Woman), Chris Pine (Steve Trevor), Kristen Wiig (Cheetah), Pedro Pascal (TBA), Connie Nielsen (Hippolyta), Robin Wright (Antiope)

The Batman - June 25, 2021

In October 2014, a Batman standalone film was announced by Warner Bros. By 2016, Ben Affleck was set to star in, produce, direct, and write the project. Geoff Johns and Chris Terrio were hired as co-writers. After various drafts of the script had been completed the film was moving towards beginning shooting by 2017, until Affleck stepped down as director that January. Affleck initially cited his intentions being to more specifically focus on starring as Batman, later acknowledging that after various attempts to get the script where he wanted it, it simply became "time to let someone else have a shot at it". In July 2017, Matt Reeves confirmed that the script was being rewritten: the final draft was completed by January 2019. Reeves reworked the story to focus on Batman earlier on in his career as a vigilante; he said the film will be character-driven and stylistically noir, and will explore the detective aspect of the character to a greater extent than previous films. In January 2019, Affleck confirmed he will not reprise his role as Batman, but remains involved as a producer. Principal photography is expected to begin in November 2019.

The Suicide Squad - August 6, 2021

In March 2016, a Suicide Squad sequel was announced to be in development, with David Ayer returning to direct. Adam Cozad was hired to write the script by March 2017. By July 2017, a new story treatment was written by Zak Penn. In September, Gavin O'Connor was hired as director after Ayer dropped out, as well as co-screenwriter with Anthony Tambakis, David Bar Katz and Todd Stashwick. The final draft of the script was completed in October 2018, though production was delayed due to conflicts with Will Smith's production schedule, followed by O'Connor leaving the project. Production was placed on hold as Warner Bros. believed the script was too similar to Birds of Prey. Charles Roven, Michael De Luca, Peter Safran, Geoff Johns, Richard Suckle, Dan Lin and Andy Horwitz will produce the film. In January 2019, the film was retitled The Suicide Squad, with James Gunn directing, from a new script he wrote. Gunn chose the project over various other films Warner Bros. has in development, including the Man of Steel sequel. In March, Idris Elba joined the cast. He was initially going to replace Smith, who dropped out due to scheduling conflicts, as Deadshot, but it was later decided that Elba would play a new character so Smith could return in the future. Margot Robbie, Joel Kinnaman, Jai Courtney, and Viola Davis will reprise their roles as Harley Quinn, Rick Flag, Captain Boomerang, and Amanda Waller, respectively.  David Dastmalchian and Daniela Melchior were cast to portray Polka-Dot Man and Ratcatcher, respectively. John Cena is in talks to portray an as-of-yet unnamed role. Other members of the titular team include King Shark and Peacemaker. Production will begin in September 2019

Aquaman 2 - December 16, 2022

By December 2018, a sequel to Aquaman was in development. In October 2018, James Wan stated the first film intentionally left room for a follow up. Jason Momoa later revealed that he had an idea for the sequel, and had written the first act. The actor pitched the story to Warner Bros. through Toby Emmerich and producer Peter Safran, who were receptive. By December, high pre-release ticket sales and positive reception for the film had convinced Warner Bros. to begin developing a sequel. In January 2019, Warner Bros. confirmed development, with intentions for Wan to return as director. The following month, David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick, co-writer of the first film, signed on as screenwriter. In March, Safran announced the film will explore the other Seven Kingdoms of Atlantis.

Unknown Release Dates:

The Flash

By July 2013, Greg Berlanti was developing a film that centered around the Barry Allen incarnation of the Flash. In October 2014, The Flash was announced with a scheduled 2018 release date. The initial script was drafted by Berlanti, Chris Brancato, Michael Green and Marc Guggenheim. In April 2015, a story treatment was written by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller based on the previous draft, with the intention being that the duo would also direct the film. Over the next two years, Seth Grahame-Smith and Rick Famuyiwa, had individually dropped out as directors of the project due to creative differences with the studio. In January 2017, Joby Harold was hired to do a page-one rewrite of the script, which previously had drafts written by Grahame-Smith and Famuyiwa. In July 2017, the title for the film was changed to Flashpoint, based on the comic book story arc of the same name. In March 2018, John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein were hired to co-direct. Zack Snyder, Alex Gartner, Geoff Johns, Dan Mazer, Richard Suckle, Deborah Snyder, Phil Lord, Chris Miller, Jon Berg, Denise Di Novi, and Michael Disco will serve as producers on the project. Dan Mazeau was brought on as co-writer, followed by Grahame-Smith and Brancato as additional screenwriters. The directors had initially announced the release of The Flash to be sometime during 2020, though production was delayed from April 2019 to later in the year for additional script work. By February 2019, Daley and Goldstein had contributed to the script with the film's star revealing that the plot will involve the Speed Force multiverse. Principal photography is scheduled take place in Atlanta, Georgia, and follow in Leavesden, Hertfordshire, England. In March, Ezra Miller was hired to co-write a new draft in a collaboration with Grant Morrison. The tone of the film is expected to be similar to Back to the Future. The Flash is on track to release in 2021.

Lobo

In September 2009, Warner Bros. announced that Guy Ritchie would direct a live-action adaptation. Variety described the premise: "Lobo is a seven-foot tall, blue-skinned, indestructible and heavily muscled antihero who drives a pimped out motorcycle, and lands on Earth in search of four fugitives who are bent on wreaking havoc. Lobo teams with a small town teenage girl to stop the creatures." Ritchie was scheduled to begin production of Lobo in early 2010 and bring an "irreverent, gruff tone" to the film as he did with previous films Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch, though the studio was reportedly aiming for a PG-13 rating from the Motion Picture Association of America. In early 2010, it was reported that Ritchie had left the project in order to pursue working on a sequel to his hit film Sherlock Holmes instead. The future of the movie was then put on hold. In 2012, Deadline reported that Brad Peyton would write and direct the film. In July 2012, Dwayne Johnson announced via Twitter that he was in talks with Joel Silver and Brad Peyton to portray Lobo, however on in February of the following year, Johnson left the project to play another villain from the DC Comics, Black Adam, in Shazam!. In March 2016, it was reported that Jason Fuchs will be writing the film's script. As of February 2018, DC Films is eying Michael Bay to direct the film inspired by the success of Tim Miller's Deadpool film. Fuchs is currently rewriting the script at Bay’s request so that the script can be lowered to under to under $200 million.

Justice League Dark

Rumors in November 2012 suggested that Guillermo del Toro was working on a Justice League Dark film titled Heaven Sent. It would feature Deadman, the Spectre, Swamp Thing, John Constantine, Phantom Stranger, Zatanna, Zatara, Sargon the Sorcerer, and Etrigan the Demon. Del Toro later confirmed in January 2013 that he was working on such a film, with the working title, Dark Universe, and was hiring a screenwriter. Del Toro revealed Swamp Thing, Constantine, The Spectre, Deadman, Zatanna and Zatara were characters in the story.

In March 2013, del Toro gave an update on the film at WonderCon 2013, while talking about his film Pacific Rim. He revealed that the story bible was complete and he hoped to start the screenplay soon. Production would begin after his next project, Crimson Peak. The film's story would center around John Constantine recruiting Swamp Thing, Etrigan the Demon, Deadman, Spectre, and Zatanna. The film would not be an origin story, with each character already established and elements of their backstory coming into play throughout the film. Del Toro also revealed that Floronic Man would be in the film. In May 2013, del Toro revealed that his script featured Constantine, Swamp Thing, Madame Xanadu, Deadman and Zatanna as the team, with others "in the mix". He also revealed that he was still waiting for the go-ahead from Warner Bros. Pictures. Del Toro revealed in July 2013 that he hoped that the DC Extended Universe, which started with Man of Steel, would become as cohesive as the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and he added that if there was any correlation to that universe and this film, he would honor it.

In October 2013, del Toro stated he felt his film would be able to coexist with the television series, Constantine and reiterated that the film was still active and in the writing process. In July 2014, del Toro once again stated he was working on the film, and stated it would be independent from the universe established with Man of Steel, saying, "DC and Warners have been very clear that they are trying to keep [this film and Sandman] separate so when the time comes they can unite them, once they know they’re quantifiable." Del Toro also added that his Constantine would not adhere to the continuity established in the television series, but he would consider incorporating elements from it, and even think about casting the same actor (Matt Ryan). In November 2014, del Toro confirmed that the script was complete and handed it in to Warner Bros. to be reviewed. In December 2014, he hinted that the film would be part of the DC Extended Universe.

In April 2015, del Toro said the script revision has been handed in and if there was availability in his schedule, he would direct it; if not, "somebody else will do it... [The film] needs to fall into the plan of the shared universe." In June 2015, the film was confirmed to still be in development at Warner Bros., with some of their other Vertigo Comics film adaptations moving to New Line Cinema. The Hollywood Reporter stated that del Toro was no longer attached to the project. In July 2016, Swamp Thing test footage was released directed by Joseph Kahn. In August 2016, it was announced that Doug Liman would direct the film with del Toro and Scott Rudin producing and Michael Gilio writing, with the film being titled Dark Universe. By May 2017, Liman left the film to focus on directing Chaos Walking. At the San Diego Comic-Con in July 2017, the film's title was announced to be Justice League Dark. By August 2017, Gerard Johnstone was hired to polish the script.

Black Adam

In September 2014, after being considered to play Shazam and Lobo, Dwayne Johnson was cast to play Black Adam in the DCEU. The character was intended to be introduced in Shazam!, but by January 2017 the film's production studios had chosen to divide the narrative to focus on Black Adam's origin. Johnson, who is also attached as producer, has stated the two characters will cross paths in a future film, while other DC characters will make appearances in Black Adam. In October, Adam Sztykiel was hired to write the script. Co-producer Hiram Garcia stated the film will be gritty and violent, similar to the comics. By February 2019, the script was nearly finished with Warner Bros. and Seven Bucks Productions searching for a director. The plot will involve the Carter Hall version of Hawkman, Atom Smasher, and Stargirl. Principal photography is scheduled to begin sometime between late 2019 and early 2020.

Justice League sequel

In October 2014, Justice League Part Two was announced, with Zack Snyder returning as director. In June 2016, Deborah Snyder revealed that Justice League would not be one film split in two, leaving the sequel untitled. The film was scheduled to be released on June 14, 2019, but production was pushed back to accommodate The Batman. In October 2017, J. K. Simmons stated that work on the script was in-progress, while in December, Variety reported that there were "no immediate plans" for Snyder to direct. By 2019, Warner Bros. had prioritized standalone films over the project, although Patty Jenkins noted she would be open to directing the next Justice League film. Though Ben Affleck will not play Batman in Matt Reeves' film, he is still signed on to reprise the role for the Justice League sequel.

Green Lantern Corps

A film based on the Green Lantern Corps was announced to be in development in October 2014. In January 2017, David S. Goyer and Justin Rhodes were hired to co-write the screenplay, based on a story by Goyer and Geoff Johns, with Goyer also serving as producer. Warner Bros. described the film as "Lethal Weapon in space". In January 2018, Goyer reaffirmed that despite the franchise's leadership shakeup the film was still in active development. By June 2018, Geoff Johns was hired to do a rewrite on the script, in addition to his role as producer. Johns stated that the script draws inspiration from his work on the New 52 Green Lantern comics. Green Lantern Corps was scheduled for release on July 24, 2020, but is believed to have been delayed.

Man of Steel sequel

In August 2016, The Wrap reported that Warner Bros. put the film in active development as a top priority. The news of a stand-alone Superman film were later confirmed by Dany Garcia, Henry Cavill's manager. While promoting Arrival, Amy Adams confirmed that work had begun on the screenplay. In March 2017, it was announced that Matthew Vaughn was being eyed by Warner Bros. to direct. In April 2018, it was reported that Christopher McQuarrie is considering directing the film but later dropped it. In June 2018, Cavill revealed that he is preparing to reprise the role.

Booster Gold

In September 2015, a film centered around Booster Gold and the Ted Kord Blue Beetle was announced to be in development with producer Greg Berlanti. The film's tone was described as a buddy cop film with connections to Justice League. By May 2016, Zak Penn had begun work on a script. Berlanti stated that the project had "no connective tissue" to other films at one point, but following a consideration for television series adaptation at Syfy, the project entered a script rewrite from Zack Stentz in May 2016. Berlanti was asked about his involvement with the DCEU as a whole, and indicated that he has interest in the Booster Gold film. After years of being involved in the project's development, Berlanti was reported to be in negotiations with the studio to serve as director. By March 2018, the script, co-written by Berlanti, had been completed. Berlanti stated production would begin once Warner Bros. decides where to place it within the slate of films.

Gotham City Sirens

A film based on the Gotham City Sirens, a team consisting of Harley Quinn, Catwoman, and Poison Ivy, was announced to be in development in December 2016. David Ayer signed on as director/co-producer from a script by Geneva Robertson-Dworet, Margot Robbie will reprise her role from Suicide Squad and take the role of an executive producer, while Geoff Johns and Jon Berg will produce. Production was originally scheduled to begin in mid-2017, but following the restructuring of DC Films leadership the film's development was placed on hold in favor of Birds of Prey. In August 2017, Jared Leto was confirmed to reprise his role as the Joker. Despite a busy production schedule on other projects, Ayer has continued to work on the film, meeting with Gotham City Sirens creator Paul Dini in August 2018.

Deadshot

In December 2016, The Hollywood Reporter noted that a film centered around Deadshot was in development. By September 2018, Will Smith confirmed he would reprise his role from Suicide Squad and that the story is in development.

Nightwing

On February 23, 2017, it was reported that Warner Bros. Pictures was developing a Nightwing live action movie centered on the character, set in the DC Extended Universe, with Bill Dubuque writing the script and The LEGO Batman Movie director Chris McKay signed on to direct the movie.

Discussing why he likes the character and signed on for the project, McKay cited the character's showman personality and background as an entertainer and expressed his excitement for depicting that in the film. He later stated that he wants to introduce a complete adaptation of the character, something that hasn't been done in previous film interpretations of him before. McKay continued to state that the director-driven approach is why he loves Warner Bros., and how the franchise is differentiating itself from other popular shared universes. In an interview with Cinemablend, McKay confirmed that the film would acknowledge the titular character's past from the source material, including his time as a part of Haly's Circus, and also reaffirmed that the film will be a straightforward action movie with minimal use of CGI special effects and grounded realism.

In February 2018, McKay stated the script was nearing its final draft.

Batgirl

In March 2017, it was announced that Joss Whedon was in talks to write, direct and produce a Batgirl film as part of the DC Extended Universe. The film will feature the Barbara Gordon incarnation of the character, with The New 52 comics by Gail Simone serving as "a starting point" for the film. In April 2017, Whedon stated that he was fascinated by a character that chooses to be a vigilante, even though she hadn't suffered any tragedies in her life like Batman, and that the damaged aspect of the character will be explored in the film. In July, Geoff Johns stated production on the film would begin in 2018. At San Diego Comic Con 2017, the title was announced to be Batgirl.

Whedon was to begin production on the film in 2018, but stepped down in February 2018. In April 2018, after impressing the studio with her work on Birds of Prey, Christina Hodson was hired as screenwriter for Batgirl as well. The studio is actively looking for a female director.

Deathstroke

In October 2017, TheWrap reported a film centered around Deathstroke was in development, with Gareth Evans attached as screenwriter and director and Joe Manganiello set to reprise his role from Justice League. Ben Affleck released test footage with Manganiello in costume in August 2016. Warner Bros. greenlit the film after Evans impressed executives with his story pitch, which he described as dark and unforgiving, similar to Korean noir films. However, in October 2018, Evans stated that he is yet to be attached to the project contractually.

New Gods

By March 2018, a film about the New Gods was confirmed to be in development, with Ava DuVernay signed on as director. Kario Salem was hired as screenwriter after working on a story treatment with DuVernay.

Supergirl

In August 2018, a film centered on Supergirl, was announced to be in development with Oren Uziel penning the script. Warner Bros. is seeking a female director, with Reed Morano—who has expressed interest in the project—being its top choice.

Blue Beetle

By November 2018, a film centered around the Jaime Reyes incarnation of Blue Beetle was in development. Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer and Zev Foreman are respectively attached as screenwriter and executive producer.

Plastic Man

By December 2018, a Plastic Man film was in development with Amanda Idoko hired to write the script. The plot is described as a comedy-action adventure.

Wonder Woman 1984 sequel

In January 2019, after principal photography on Wonder Woman 1984 was completed, director and co-writer Patty Jenkins stated the plot for a third Wonder Woman film had been mapped out. She revealed that the story arc for Wonder Woman had been planned over three films, with the third taking place in the present.

The Trench

In February 2019, Warner Bros. announced a horror spin-off from Aquaman focusing on the villainous Trench kingdom. Peter Safran and James Wan are set to produce, with Noah Gardner and Aidan Fitzgerald acting as screenwriters. The film is expected to have a lower production budget compared to other DC-based films. The following month, Safran said he expects the film to be released before Aquaman 2.

Blackhawk

In April 2018, it was announced that Steven Spielberg will produce/direct a film adaptation of Blackhawk for Warner Bros., with the screenplay being written by David Koepp. Spielberg will co-produce the film with Kristie Macosko Krieger and Sue Kroll.

Shazam! sequel

Following the success of Shazam!, in April 2019 a sequel was announced. Henry Gayden is returning as screenwriter, while David F. Sanberg and Peter Safran are expected to reprise their duties as director and producer, respectively. Mark Strong will reprise his role as Dr. Sivana. Michelle Borth confirmed she will reprise her role as Lady Shazam, as part of a five-picture Warner Bros. contract.

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hhhh revelation

another megamedia thing that started in 2009, that is the perfect way to explain homestuck!

the MCU.

for one thing, at this point if youre not into them youre probably too overwhelmed by the sheer amount of different content and the insanely complex timelines of events.

but so, the mcu is based off comics, but its a series of movies, and there are some tv shows that add into it.

homestuck started as a webcomic, but it took reader suggestions for commands that would influence the characters minor decisions, originally it was single frame drawings and short animations, but moved onto longer animations and "ended" with the longest animation yet, then went onto adding plot via snapchat stories.

both hs and the mcu have books to bring the movies/comics into a different level of comprehensibility (not necessarily better), which also have behind the scenes/commentary, or like dvd commentary.

they also both have videogames and merchandise and other comics that are not canon but add to the richness of the universe (for hs, thats paradoxspace.com)

but more than the medium, theyre similar in their timeline and plot!!

which is what really made me excited about this.

right so we start out kind of en media res in both.

iron man is the first mcu movie, and im pretty sure it does literally take place in 2009 (just like homestuck), and a TON of stuff that will be shown to us later actually takes place before that moment and will have obviously been essential to this moment (captain america & captain marvel= the creation of the avengers & the first appearance of an infinity stone, the alpha (beforus) and beta (alternia, vriskas gen) trolls= the original sburb/sgrub sessions, origins of the main villains).

Then it moves around and slowly introduces more characters in the same time (jade, rose, dave, & thor, hulk, modern captain america) while hinting at characters before them that will come up later (the trolls, bucky barnes, villains in both) and events driving the plot, developing the characters, and shaping the story (act 1 of homestuck is mostly john trying to get his god damn mail, but it ends up revealing a lot of plot and character relationships, and the pre-avengers MCU movies developed the characters as individuals and set up story elements for later, but is mostly about smaller scale things than once it gets to avengers).

then the team up happens, the avengers/the kids entering sburb, and it changes everything on supermassive scales forever, but also its just a symptom of the way that things are already set to go on much more cosmic scales.

then of course in homestuck its like one whole day hasnt even passed yet, while in the mcu its been three years, BUT after the one day in hs three years pass before they get to the next thing they need to do.

but anyway then we meet the next group thats going to be part of this, in hs its maybe a much closer relationship but still.

so we get the guardians of the galaxy movies and hivebent, where we meet the beta trolls (vriska gen), a group of people who also have a big impact on the plot, either in that they also have infinity stone business or in that they literally created the first group we met and also all of their problems but also all of their problems were predestined to happen anyway so its like a whole thing.

anyway, they seem kinda separate at first but then its revealed that the villain/s have major stakes with both groups, and then its revealed that there are more people also (like the dancestors, cherubs, carapacians, and roxy & her gen of bros in hs and the kree, ravagers, and tons of alien planets) who are all relying on both groups to team up and save all of literal reality.

in meeting the dancestors in openbound, and the skrulls and kree in captain marvel, a little more lore is divulged to really complete the picture of what is going on, whos been doing what, whos been controlling/ed manipulating/ed by whom and what did they do, what are the cosmic repercussions, are our friends going to be okay...

(also, yeah, avengers age of ultron and civil war are great parallels to when the hs ppl had to fight the condesce and jack/bec noir and the period of planning to fight lord english where everyone had completely different ideas and there were major divisions in everyone, or civil war could also be like when the beta trolls all had that crazy ass time on the meteor kind of while the beta kids (john and rose and co) were doing their game but also kind of after that because timelines but anyway when eridan and gamzee and vriska all go apeshit for different reasons and everyone except karkat terezi and gamzee die in at least some way)

so yeah but now everyones done a bunch of stuff together and finally you see that most bad guys theyve dealt with before were actually working for, knowingly or otherwise, the MAIN VILLAIN (thanos/lord english), and so they become aware of the main threat and start preparing and maybe theres some shenanigans involved (john gets reality changing powers and changes the past few years so so much dunno really what happened and what was fake anymore but also a lot of things are a hella lot better so everyone gets shit done and is better prepared for the FIGHT, earths secret weapons all over the world get revealed/cultivated/come back like Black Panther, Vision& Wanda, dr strange &the time stone, Spiderman, thor, hulk &captain marvel.)

and now its time to fight the big all-powerful alien dumb jackass, be it the purple murderer with the infinity gauntlet or the Lord of Time snake skull billiards guy, with EVERYONE vs him (,billions of dead ghosts or just everyone alive).

in homestuck, yeah billions die and they create a black hole but they succeed in making a new universe that finally doesnt have any problems like earth (johns, the one we started out with) did, and everyone whos left alive can enjoy it, and they can make a bunch of people to populate it (then travel forward in the new planet {Earth c}s time 5000 years to give the population time to take root and develop, then they take over and are greeted as the gods they are (the inhabitants could always kinda see them outside the bubble of time travel, so they never stopped knowing about them) and then they took over and made their kingdoms and just lived the hell outta brand new Good Life™.

in the mcu, we dont know yet but i geniunely hope its okay.

anyway thats two of the ways that the mcu is homestuck and im sure ill think of more throughout my lifetime but i hope this was comprehensible.