#both of them bottle their feelings
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"what pisses me off is that shoko did not give a rats ass" and yet she smoked a whole pack of cigarettes because she was worried about Satoru and it makes it even worse knowing about the swapping brain plan.
#she really does#she's like satoru actually#both of them bottle their feelings#they don't open up easy#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#reading jujutsu kaisen#shoko ieiri
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have vasco & machete ever gotten into any big arguments?
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#I think if you get close to someone you're bound to get into arguments eventually it's only natural#Vasco and Machete don't argue a lot neither of them enjoy and seek out conflict#Vasco is very patient and hard to rile up#and Machete bottles up his emotions and mostly just seethes quietly#in the original canon the time they get to spend together is always limited and they don't want to waste it being angry at each other#they probably bicker and disagree a little bit more casually in the modern au but it's purely because they feel more safe to do so#there's a lot less at stake and their situation is stabler#and for the most part they can handle any arguments in a reasonably healthy and mature way#answered#anonymous#both of them are quick to apologise and that helps a lot#the will to sort things out always prevails usually sooner than later
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#so it’s looking like the last lumbar disc i have left has prolapsed#i have to get some scans to confirm that it has#but i have all the hallmark symptoms of it#from the moment i had my spine fused at 16 i was told that this day would inevitably come#because the load-bearing that’s distributed between five discs in a none-fused spine is all being put on just my one remaining disc#but i didn’t imagine it would give out this soon#not while i’m still so young#i’m so terrified#and i just don’t know how to keep going#both physically and mentally#my body has already put me through enough debilitating physical pain to last a lifetime#and i’m tired of pushing through it#i have nothing left to give#i feel lucky to have an incredible support system at times like this#but still#i just really need a hug right now because things are looking so grim#anyway i’m sorry for venting but this happened three weeks ago and i just saw my gp today#so i have been bottling all these feelings#and i needed to get them out#if you read all of this: ily and i hope you’re doing well#personal
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SNIFFING DAT MAN GOALS HAVE FINALLY BEEN ACHIEVED, ( excuse winter date kara staring into your soul. )
#ya'll.... it smells so good you don't understand....#first perfume to actually make me understand what top middle & last notes mean#it smells really similar to cool water for women and arrogant by english laundry...#which is really funny bc i used to wear both of those perfumes 😭#i really love fragrances so i feel like i'd get into collecting them as a hobby if they weren't so damn expensive#... i say as i'm willing to import merch of this damn muppet man#anyways i used rinkya as a proxy for this one specifically bc they're able to import stuff that's alcohol-based#my usual proxy can't do that so this sight was a god send#also i finally started to set up one of my nerd shelfs so winter date kara is free from his plastic bag now#i'm rationing this shit like it's the last bottle of potable water on the planet#especially since i know a good dupe#i could probably get a similar smell by layering those two fragrances i mentioned before#osmt#karamatsu#merch#mj rambles
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RAHHHH IM NOT DEAD I HAVENT BURNT OUT TRUST
Canto VII is going absolutely insane rn GOD I hate THAT stage you know the one took me a day to complete it
BUT RAHHHH IM BACK!!! SELF INSERT UPON YE
I’ve been stewing on her lore a bit and have a possible scene that could play out in my mind but ye!!
#amethyst’s little rambles#ocs#oc#art#limbus company#artists on tumblr#digital art#lcb#project moon#tbh I did fuck it we ball the background but I will say there are still a couple intentional choices here n there#trying to integrate some of her main symbols yknow#also slightly related Hokma was so based for saying time is like a scythe#like PEAK FICTION YOU YOU GET IT#the feature of the moon is for somewhat obvious reasons (weapon name + moonstone)#the fog and the shattered mirror is to represent how she’s kinda lost her way#as in she’s lost touch with her passion and anger and more intense emotions#due to bottling them all up as those above her considered them distractions to her work#(via the experimental moonstone)#their reaper had to be as efficient to harvest the best results the fastest doesn’t she?#also yknow harvest moon + a scythe having a crescent shaped blade - moon motif#and yknow the two pillars#two mirrors#duality is what that’s supposed to represent because I feel like making a specific other little guy of mine her animus#well the manifestation of her animus AND her repressed true more extreme emotions#both good and bad - yknow he’s where her emotions are going to somehow#she doesn’t know this at first but eventually there’s a reveal where they’re one in the same#and the moonstone fully shatters#leaving her in shambles and most likely distorting as her worldview crumbles around her as like at least a decades worth of repressed#emotions storm over her#with this having been his plan from the beginning - could make Kairos part of the blue group at this rate lmfao he even has the colour
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♡ andrei her buddy andrei
Send ♡ to see what my muse thinks of yours
○○○○○ | ATTRACTION ●●●●○ | AFFECTION ●●●●○ | INTEREST ●●●●○ | LOYALTY ●●●○○ | TRUST
"Sometimes, I feel uncertain of how best to speak to her. Lavishing praise is not something I am much accustomed to. Neither am I adept at predicting her reactions to different situations. Despite all that...
'Did I do good?'
That is what she said, a moment from death's door in that illusory arena. It felt, for a moment, like I was hearing myself. I haven't ever told her that — cannot, as this is not for her to bear, but...
She is worthy of being shown kindness and care. That I am certain of. And so, even if it may be difficult... I will not stop trying.
...Perhaps, then, I too could become someone who is worthy of praise."
#machiot#i feel like there's such a strong push and pull wrt his feelings about marni#because on one hand she is one of if not THE person andrei goes most out of his way to be kind to consciously#bc he identifies so strongly with her and he wants to give her even a little bit of what she's looking for#but on the other he also desperately wants this to be one-sided#i think he'd have an incredibly hard time opening up to marni about any of his own struggles#precisely because he feels he can understand her on some level that he would fear that it goes both ways#and if his control slips then he'd be showing her wayyyy too much weakness that he's just not ready to deal with#in another way i think it also makes him a little sad#because he's likely reflected on his past at some point and wondered whether anything would've been different--#--if he'd spoken up more about his feelings to his family instead of bottling it all in and taking all those actions on his own#and here's marni who makes her wants loud and clear and... well. here she still is in the abyss right beside him#so maybe she's proof that he too was beyond salvation all along#as you can probably tell i have so many feelings about them alksdjfalj that arena was so special to me
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love watching weather science videos but like. why am i 1000x more interested in tornadoes over hurricanes. they're both spinning air
#we wanted to be a stormchaser when we were younger#nowadays we have to worry about our health too much to have such a risky high-stress high reaction time job#been watching nothing but tornado history videos for days it's one of our intermittent special interests#stemming from the weather science workbook we OBSESSED over as a kid#would read that thing cover to cover multiple times a week. i was the kind of autistic who would read the Encyclopedia for fun#i actually had a fave encyclopedia entry as a kid and now i cannot fucking remember it 😭#i also learned what sex was through the encyclopedia 😭😭😭😭 was legit my first exposure to the concept#but like even though we watch A TON of weather videos including tons of stuff about thunderstorms and blizzards#(thunderstorms my fucking beloved. favourite weather pattern ever. cumulonimbus my bestest friend <3)#most of the videos we watch are mostly tornado videos. and hurricane videos feel boring to us#even though hurricanes are wayyy more powerful#tornadoes are still fucking powerful it's just more. concentrated#tornadoes to me feel Targeted like. that's weather that says Fuck YOU in particular actually#especially multivortex tornadoes where you can literally have two houses both in the middle of the storm at once#and still only one of them gets destroyed#or like pictures you can see of demolished houses with their mailbox in the yard simply untouched#i like to watch tornado videos bc they help me. prepare. just in case#our state gets hit with tornadoes pretty frequently though not as much as tornado alley#and i like to know all the information for sheltering and what to do in the event of a collapsed building and such#i have a little survival kit in the bathroom just in case with like basic first aid and a radio and bottled water#bc thats probably the safest room for me to be in since it's not near any external walls and also hiding in the tub is usually good#also in the event you're caught on the road during a tornado#DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE shelter under a bridge or overpass#those work basically like straws where as the air gets pushed through it goes MUCH faster and gets dangerous way easier#as far as im aware the best place to be is in a ditch or hole if you absolutely cannot find a shelter in time#if you do not have a car with roll protection then being in your car will probably be worse#NOT AN EXPERT THO pls verify this information on your own if you think it is relevant or necessary i have poor memory and can be stupid#i just know that overpasses are dangerous as hell
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you ever miss your comfort character so bad you gotta go outside about it
#idk i've been pretty stressed that's probably why i randomly got rly sad abt it#and by it i mean the uh. gestures vaguely at fandom i guess#either nobody's there or it feels like i'm not exactly welcome. or both! which tough shit i'mma take up the space regardless but like#this weird sense of elitism I get in a space that's built by and nurtured by people whose MO is 'caring a lot' is.. hm.. interesting#idk just got reminded this morning that some people view critique as a free pass to drag a creator through the mud#when what you SHOULD be doing is uplifting them so that they can improve and reach their maximum potential. you clown. you absolute buffoon#it wasn't targeted at me or anything it just made me so angry/sad. smad. i'm smad about it#i just get hit with a wave of what's the point. what's the fucking point nobody cares abt things made with passion for the love of the game#we don't have time/it's not good enough/it doesn't matter/it's been done better/why x when we have y#and you know what fair enough everyone's entitled to their own emotional responses of course.#if you think your opinion is reason enough to tear it down then we're gonna have to agree to disagree on that one i think#just keep in mind that you could have loved what they made. other people could have loved it. it could have changed something for someone.#i personally know artists and have worked with artists who have put so so much effort into making something work over and over and over#only to have no audience and get back up saying guys let's give this just one more try.#hell back in the day I was an accomplished writer kid who was told that you may be good but nobody gives a fuck#artists who use up all these resources just to bring something new into the world and nobody's looking. what's the point. what's the point#anyway. i'm gonna go wade through the snow for a bit maybe sink my bare hands into it you guys want anything#started the post thinkin abt my blorbos ending it crying putting my shoes on alright I'm going I'm GETTING the FRESH AIR fuck off#i'll be god once i've gotten a bottle of coke and some mozzarella sticks. wait am i pmsing. fuck#god i hate that i don't drink sometimes.
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I like the linda-pendant woman episode but it always annoys me a little bit that it's implied that bob can't take care of the kids or the restaurant AT ALL without linda which is just.... not true? like it's probably easier with her around and she knows a few things w/ bookkeeping etc
But bob can obviously take care of the kids by himself. he does it in SO MANY episodes. it's not a struggle for him (or for linda when she's alone with the kids) it almost feels like they were doing the "incompetent dad can't do anything without his wife and doesn't know how to take care of his own kids" trope except we KNOW that isn't true because he is alone in the restaurant or in the apartment with the kids all the time without any problems?? just a very weird writing choice. it's easier with linda around obvs but bob is clearly not incompetent like this episode kinda tries to protray. unless he's just having a really bad day or something

#“don't leave me with these freakin' kids bob” “these kids are a two-parent two bottles of wine a night job”#you could make the argument that usually one of them is taking care of the kids and one of them is running the restaurant#and that having that balance is what makes it easy for both of them vs bob doing all of it#but i feel like that isn't always true either. he's definitely been in charge while linda was doing whatever the fuck she's doing in eps#bob's burgers#txt
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i love that my cousin and my bestie send me all their perfume samples they think i'd like it's so CUTE
#my cousin has a scentbird account and when she gets a scent she doesn't love but thinks i will she mails it to meeee#and savannah is always giving me her half empty bottles when she outgrows something or needs to downsize her collection#literally 50% of my fragrances are hers lol#my trusty amber oil from sprouts is from her <33#and my little cherry punk sample i've been OBSESSED with lately is from kylie#so i always think of her when i wear it#i don't live near either of them anymore bc kylie is back in colorado and savannah is all the way in oklahoma now so#it's sweet to feel connected to both of them like this#personal
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got sad abt fawn’s little motel room again 😞
#gideon shut the hell up challenge#we were thinking abt it in canon but then thought abt it in v3/v3au so. now we have to talk abt those#themmy who gets to be the first to get invited over. it takes a bit to build up to it and then even after they all think they’re ready#it takes another few days to actually Work Up To It. themmy gets first pick bc they’re the least intrusive of the group#the ortegas are close to the group ofc but they are nosy and pushy but this is The Becker’s space. so they get told no when they ask#if they can tag along. (they ofc get approval later after a few times of themmy getting to visit#bc 1. they won’t stop asking but 2. they’re more comfortable w the permitted intrusion that they get a test run)#honestly I feel like one of the ortegas would offhandedly ask Whose room it is (bc they expect them each to have their own)#and the siblings are like no it’s Ours. plural. and then the topic gets dropped bc they’re skittish enough already they won’t push more rn#ohhh the besties giving them little house warming gifts to help spruce the place up but next time they go over it still looks just as plain#except u ask ‘hey what happened to [xyz]?’ and they retrieve it from wherever it’s squirreled away#solo!survivor au…. imagine having to go back to the motel room alone for the first time#you know where the traces of your siblings are hidden. but they aren’t in immediate sight so it feels so Empty.#digging out all of their belongings just to have them closer to you even if it goes against everything you’ve all done this whole time#maybe you don’t stay alone. maybe you invite an ortega over. maybe you invite both.#maybe they show up with a bottle of wine each and none of you say anything bc you don’t know what you even would#maybe they help you pack up everything to move apartments. maybe you don’t let them touch anything. maybe them just being there is enough
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Being a diaspora Jew is a lonely fucking existence honestly. I have one (1) gentile friend who just simply supports me in these hard times and doesn't tell me that it's acktchually very nuanced and israelis aren't saints either! As if I didn't know that already. Everyone else just doesn't give a flying fuck even though I expressed that this is hard for me for a number of reasons. I'm so tired.
Yeah, I'm having a really hard time rn and I can't really talk to any friends about it. I had one conversation about Israel with a gentile friend today and ended up having a panic attack. She was actually quite respectful, but ig that just highlights how I don't feel safe talking to anyone about this. I wish I lived in an area with more Jews so I could talk to my friends yknow
#i spent all of today bottling up all my awful emotions because i don't feel like i can express them around goyim#even goyim who are my best friends#because i can't shake the feeling that they'll go 'stop making this a both sides thing' or 'israel deserved it' or smth#so i just. can't talk to many people right now#israel/palestine
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@jaggedwolf said: east coast is unwisely awake and would like to know what you’re drinking
the west coast salutes you for your service
& also, yeah, i'm drinking an incredibly mid Washington State rosé, because what is summer for if not drinking (generally mid) rosé all day
#i had one (1) mind-blowingly delicious rosé in the Russian River valley in 2013.#both myself and my drinking buddy took photos of the bottle because we were both like.#i didn't know love was real until i tasted this rosé.#then we BOTH lost our fucking phones and forgot the name of the fucking place#and alas i've never had an above-mid rosé since.#mysterious actually-delicious rosé where are you....#feel free to sound off in the comments if you know a good rosé.#i'm not kidding i'll try any rosé.#like most of them suck b/c they just taste like Watered Down Red or Cowardly White#and don't have an identity of their *own*#but this one. this one tasted INCREDIBLE. and UNIQUELY ITS OWN THING.#that being said even a mid rosé is incredible in my book imo
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madaleo + 22… pls. ty
ask game
…in a rush of adrenaline.
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Leo was breathing heavy as the song came to an end, spotlight bright on his face. Nothing could be better than being on stage performing his music for people who loved him, with people he loved. The Knights and Double Face joint live had been an interesting proposal and Leo had been shocked that Tsukasa had allowed it, but with Madara at his side, Leo had never felt more alive in the spotlight.
Of course, there was another reason Double Face had wanted to do a joint live with Knights, and they'd go their separate ways after this set, but for the moment Leo wanted to savor everything.
The lights dimmed and the stage began moving down, allowing the stagehands to move set pieces and everyone to prepare a costume change. Leo's hand found Madara's in the dark before the taller man could run off to his other business and Leo used his other hand to reach up and pull Madara in for a kiss. It would mess up his makeup and slow both of them down, but Leo didn't care. For a brief moment it was just the two of them, everything else could wait.
#message in a bottle#anonymous#shay writes#madaleo#wow my brain feels like mush why did 8 hours of yarn detangling make my brain feel like garbage.#sob sob. well i'll leave the other 2 rqs for now... i'll do them tmrw#also in keeping with my goals i ended up writing 300 words for the fantasy au by unrelatable dude.#that was like. 10am? 11am? like right after church which eugh. whatever#anyway i'm gonna go play enstars and try and finish my starries and shared live....#also why are knights and df doing a live together? does it matter if i can make both of them kiss? no#so idk you can make up your own reason it was just an excuse for me to have them both on stage together for this
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#please know that I vent my ungenerous feelings here in my public diary so I can just get them out and they don’t seep into my real life#my parents are randomly in town after being here like last month and that’s nice but I wasn’t sure why they were coming back so soon#the reason has revealed itself they are here to do daycare tours and go to an ultrasound appt with my brother & SIL to see the baby#I am both genuinely fine and also a horrid gremlin creature seething with toxic jealousy and petty rage#like being ‘fine’ is the stronger feeling and of course I would not want my brother to not get to share these experiences with my parents#it’s their first grandkid#but also I would I think gladly punch through a wall#I just seethe with jealousy I feel like a horribly misshapen deep sea creature with too many gills and razors for teeth#seething on the pitch-black seafloor#god the last three months have just been like#so much crying and specifically the type of crying where you’re like#I must violently expel these bottled-up feelings somehow or my ribcage will burst#and also lots of feeling like a grotesquely deformed deep sea monster#rotting from the inside out with the ugliest feelings imaginable#only 1/10th of which I express here lol I’m having a fascinating time discovering how horrible & putrid my jealousy can be#and then it passes you know it always passes. but yeah.#IUI tag
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seven sentence sunday but it's more than seven sentences because i want to share the little i came up with for the deanjohn rebecca au
dean is sixteen when his mother dies in a vicious fire that takes half of his childhood home with it. he's lucky to escape with his father and brother, but when dean realizes his mother hasn't had their fortune, he realizes they weren't lucky at all. living without mary winchester will become, in due time, a curse. in the beginning, the brand of awful the winchester men live with is fairly standard for any family grieving such a momentous loss. they stay with a family friend while the house is repaired, and nobody talks about mary winchester. dean forces himself to wake up in the morning. eat a meager breakfast. get dressed for the day. he sketches pictures of his mother that he shreds with his hands or burns in the dirt outside. he cleans the vomit off his father's face and clothes and pretends he doesn't notice how strongly he smells the whiskey. he takes his brother to the library where they both pretend to read comic books while really they do nothing but think about their dead mother turned to ashes.
#guys guys GUYS dean and john are gonna go on a drive in the impala#and that's when dean is gonna say he wishes he could bottle up memories#all these drives with dad#but memories of mom too#he wishes he had a whole collection of bottled memories of them both#and john's gonna lose his shit#almost crash the car#make dean feel stupid#idk what version of 'i wish i was a woman of 36 dressed in black satin and a string of pearls' dean will say but#john kissing his hand#'promise me you'll never be 36'#SO CREEPY#the rebecca au
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