#with this having been his plan from the beginning - could make Kairos part of the blue group at this rate lmfao he even has the colour
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RAHHHH IM NOT DEAD I HAVENT BURNT OUT TRUST
Canto VII is going absolutely insane rn GOD I hate THAT stage you know the one took me a day to complete it
BUT RAHHHH IM BACK!!! SELF INSERT UPON YE
I’ve been stewing on her lore a bit and have a possible scene that could play out in my mind but ye!!
#amethyst’s little rambles#ocs#oc#art#limbus company#artists on tumblr#digital art#lcb#project moon#tbh I did fuck it we ball the background but I will say there are still a couple intentional choices here n there#trying to integrate some of her main symbols yknow#also slightly related Hokma was so based for saying time is like a scythe#like PEAK FICTION YOU YOU GET IT#the feature of the moon is for somewhat obvious reasons (weapon name + moonstone)#the fog and the shattered mirror is to represent how she’s kinda lost her way#as in she’s lost touch with her passion and anger and more intense emotions#due to bottling them all up as those above her considered them distractions to her work#(via the experimental moonstone)#their reaper had to be as efficient to harvest the best results the fastest doesn’t she?#also yknow harvest moon + a scythe having a crescent shaped blade - moon motif#and yknow the two pillars#two mirrors#duality is what that’s supposed to represent because I feel like making a specific other little guy of mine her animus#well the manifestation of her animus AND her repressed true more extreme emotions#both good and bad - yknow he’s where her emotions are going to somehow#she doesn’t know this at first but eventually there’s a reveal where they’re one in the same#and the moonstone fully shatters#leaving her in shambles and most likely distorting as her worldview crumbles around her as like at least a decades worth of repressed#emotions storm over her#with this having been his plan from the beginning - could make Kairos part of the blue group at this rate lmfao he even has the colour
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Where you should be
9. Kairos
Genre: Hobi x oc
Warnings: this series contains stalking, blackmail, and similar stressful/fear inducing situations. Also unrequited love, which is perhaps the most terrifying of all.
Word Count: 3.2k
a/n: this is the final installment of Where you should be. I originally only planned for this story to have about 8 chapters, so yeah. I’m sorry if this came as a shock to some of you. I have loved getting to meet new people while writing this series; Hobi stans are literal sunshines. Hobi is one of my biases, so I was happy to get to write him a series. The world needs more Hobi fanfics. Thank you for reading, for reblogging, for interacting with me! Please enjoy and thank you for stopping in!
Kairos (n.) a propitious moment for decision or action; the ‘right time’
The bus station in Busan is crowded with people waiting to board the bus to head back to Seoul by the time I arrive there. Pulling my hood down low I begin to haul my bags to the taxi area, already exhausted.
While I wait in the growing line, I pull my phone out to start looking at hotels I can stay the night at. Hopefully Pdogg got my demo for Puma and will give me some feedback.
I get closer to the front of the line, hoping that a taxi will free up soon. I really just need a bed right now. Today has been too much.
Wincing as I see all the missed calls and texts from Hobi, I decide to text him as soon as I get settled into a hotel room. He deserves an explanation.
I’m watching the next taxi pull up into a vacant spot a black car swerves into the taxi lane, stopping right where the taxi was supposed to park. Honking and cursing ensues, people who were already frustrated after a long day of travel growing angry.
All of those angry voices are hushed the moment the driver’s door opens and a familiar face appears.
Hoseok’s eyes are on mine as he closes the door and strides up the steps toward me, ignoring the people that are staring at him. I blink at him, wondering if I’ve fallen asleep and this is all just a dream. This feels like something I would dream about; it’s too good to be true.
Only when the weight of my duffel bag is removed as Hoseok takes it off my hands do I realize that this may actually be real.
“Get in the car.”
His voice is gruff as the speaks, his eyes aflame with barely concealed anger. Shrinking in on myself, I pull my hood down even lower.
He knows I can’t make a scene here.
Hoseok waits until I start walking to begin walking as well, trailing behind me like a lurking predator and closing the door behind me when I sit down.
People’s phones are flashing as he puts my bags in the trunk, and he gives a polite wave before hopping back into the driver’s seat.
The kind smile he wore for the public as he waved is dropped as soon as he starts the car again, and he begins to speed out of the bus station. My heart is pounding out of my chest, the street lamps we pass under making me close my eyes as I can hardly keep up with them anymore.
I refuse to speak first, and it would appear that Hobi doesn’t plan on doing it either. Instead he drives and drives until we’re pulling into a hotel parking lot and he’s hopping out, grabbing my things for me.
“Stay here,” he orders, giving me a look that details just how he’ll murder me if I bail. “I’ll grab us a couple of rooms.”
It’s the fact that he specifies that we’ll be getting two rooms that has me freaking out. He disappears into the hotel, leaving me with my thoughts.
Scrolling through the texts I’ve been ignoring, I begin to realize just how much I screwed up.
Someone tapping on the window makes me jump, and I look up to see Hoseok waiting for me. Clambering out of the car, my face flushes as I’m sure that he saw that I was reading his messages.
I want to ask him how he knew where to find me, but one look at his solemn expression has me closing my mouth before I can ask the question. I follow him through a back entrance in the hotel, watching his feet as they ascend the stairs.
“Let me just drop your things off in your room,” he says when we come to a stop outside of a hotel room. Swiping the card, he waits for me to enter and then marches inside. Turning on his heel, he goes to leave, not even looking at me.
“Wait!” I scramble to stop him, planting myself between him and the door. “What...how did you…?”
He’s staring holes into the space just above my head, but I refuse to shrink away from him. Slowly, those eyes slide down to meet mine.
I feel like I’ve been thrown into hell with that gaze.
“October 15th.”
I blink at him. “What?”
Hoseok sighs, his nostrils flaring. “You couldn’t wait it out, Ha-rin?” I flinch at the way he says my name. “I’ve been killing myself over trying to get us together and happy, but it’s never enough! And then you go and let some psychopath get up in your head, and just bail! You bailed before I could even wake up!”
His anger stokes my fire, and I stand up taller. “I didn’t just bail, Hoseok. You- you could have died! And you’re angry about that freaking me out? I saw what the stakes were and I stepped away. But you don’t -” I shove at his chest, “even - let - me - leave!”
Grabbing my wrists in his hands, he holds them above my head as he backs me back against the door. Leaning down so we’re eye-level, Hoseok’s eyes rake over my features like hot coals.
“What, you think the stakes are too high? You think this is because we’re together?” He laughs quietly, shaking his head. “Don’t flatter yourself. This is not the first time I’ve received death threats. It won't be the last time, either. This is my life,” Hoseok growls out, “so if the stakes are too high for you then you should have said so.”
Suddenly my anger dissolves as his words sink in. “No,” I whisper, desperately trying to backtrack. “T-that’s not-”
“Then what?” Hoseok demands, his grip on my wrists lightening a little but still keeping me frozen in place. “Because when I woke up in an empty bed, with nothing but a note saying ‘I’m sorry’ I kind of got the idea that you maybe didn’t want this. Was I wrong?” He hisses out the words, making me close my eyes against them.
I take a deep breath, shuddering at this new side of Hoseok. I think there’s a reason why I’ve never seen him angry before.
I think there’s a reason why he keeps that side of him on a very tight leash.
“You...Jihun said you’d be better off, and…” hearing myself speak I realize just how stupid this was. “I didn’t want you to get hurt, Hobi.” His eyes clear a bit and he seems to come back to his senses, releasing my wrists.
“And you couldn’t just tell me that?” He asks quietly, the bite in his voice long gone. Now, he looks exhausted.
I look down at my feet, feeling completely embarrassed. “No…? But, if you’re so mad at me, why are you even here right now?”
Hoseok looks at me like I’ve just grown a second head. “Rin-ah,” I let out a sigh of relief at the way he says my name. “This is what people do when they love each other. I wasn’t just going to cut my losses and move on with my life. Did you really think I would?”
I shrug. “Maybe?”
He reaches out to me but hesitates. “I...I’m sorry for being so angry. That was uncalled for.” I shake my head, but he continues. “But you need to talk to me, not take a bus to Busan. When you left after last night’s scare, I thought that you changed your mind about me. I thought that I lost you again.”
Now that I’m finally able to see if from his side, I groan, burying my face in my hands. “I...I’m so stupid.”
Hobi gives a startled laugh, pulling me into his arms. I go willingly, melting into his embrace. “I mean…”
Smacking his shoulder, we both laugh. Hobi detaches himself from me, running and jumping on the bed. I glare at him, walking over and shoving him to the side.
“Scoot,” I demand, squealing when he just pulls me onto the bed, laughing as I nearly bounce off of it. Wriggling around, trying to scoot away before he can get a hold of me, I laugh as his arms lock around my waist, pulling me in to lay beside him.
“Make me.”
I gasp at his brazenness, burying my face in a pillow. “How did you even know where to find me?”
“Oh, well it wasn’t that hard actually. Especially once Pdogg told me that you passed Puma off to him and told him that you’d be working remotely for a while. Busan is one of the farthest places you can go, and I know you. You’d go as far as you could without leaving the country.”
“So you drove.”
“I drove.”
“And you nearly killed a taxi driver while you were at it!”
Hobi groans, also collapsing atop the pillows. “I know, how embarrassing. Bang PD is gonna kill me.”
“I mean, what was going through your head? You sure gave those people a show. I bet you’re all over Twitter right now.”
“Correction,” he quips. “We’re all over Twitter right now. And I don’t know what I was thinking. I just saw you and I’d had an entire car ride to think about everything. I was angry, sure. But more...insecure? Yeah, more insecure than anything.”
I frown, sitting up on my elbows and fiddling with the pillow case. “Insecure? Why were you feeling insecure?”
He shrugs, staring up at the ceiling. “Like I said earlier...this kind of stuff, while not frequent, happens all the time. The threats, I mean. It’s just a part of my life, and I thought that you would have known that. So while a part of me knew that Jihun had gotten inside your head,” I shudder at the mere mention of the man, “I couldn’t help but think that you didn’t think that I was worth the trouble. So when I saw you clear down here, thinking that you could just leave me after everything we’ve been through...it hit hard. And so I wanted to make you see that I’d come all this way. That I am worth it.”
My heart splits in two at Hobi’s confession, and I snuggle in close to him. “I’m so sorry, Hobi. I didn’t even think about what you were feeling.”
He lets out a long sigh. “How are we even functioning after the past twenty-four hours?”
I laugh, shaking my head in disbelief. “I have no idea. Can we just go to sleep now?”
Hobi jumps up to turn off the lights, making me chuckle. “Yes. I would love nothing more.”
Then I remember the extra room he got. “Wait, are you going to the other room?”
He tilts his head to the side. “Other room?”
“Y’know, the second room? You mentioned that you were getting two.”
Hobi’s eyes light up with remembrance before he’s turning off the final light and finding his way to me in the dark. “Oooh, that. I was lying. I only got us one room.”
“What?”
Hobi’s giggle makes me smile. “I needed to keep you on your toes!”
♟
October 15th 2020
Puma turns out to be a hit. I get to start writing lyrics to more tracks after it hits the radio waves, Pdogg offering to be my mentor.
What we don’t tell Bang PD is that Hobi tends to be the one that spends the most time with me inside the studio.
Jihun is arrested, as well as his other friends that had a hand in threatening us.
I get new locks on my door.
And through it all, I learn about the boy that has taught me more about love than years of living in this world ever did.
Hoseok still ends up on the top floor of the building quite often, locked in that room at the end of the hallway and dancing for nobody. He once told me sometime in July or August that sometimes, he just wants to dance. It’s become his career, but sometimes he goes back to the young boy that just wanted to learn and hone his passion.
Sometimes I visit him up there, when we catch a break between the endless producing and performing. Amidst the pandemic and the aftermath of the chaos Jihun wrought, we order some takeout and eat on the floor.
Those are my favorite moments. Sitting with him with my back against the wall, stealing food from his plate as we swap stories or vent our frustrations.
I’ve learned that I can’t always take away his stress and struggles. He’s sometimes quiet, sulking about not being on tour and feeling so distant from what he’s come to expect from life. Those are the moments when I beg him to order dessert and I stay a little longer until the clouds in his eyes have broken up a little.
For the past few weeks, however, Hobi and I have hardly been able to see each other. Bang PD found out about our little relationship once Hobi’s trip to Busan hit the social media apps, some very interesting photos of the two of us getting into the same car clueing him in on our relationship. He has hardly been accommodating, holding my contract over my head every chance he gets. I swear, if I look at Hobi for more than two seconds at a time Bang PD is threatening to enforce the rules of my contract.
I swear, if I hear him say ‘you signed and agreed to this!’ one more time, I’ll quit.
He’s been keeping me busy with TXT’s new album coming at the end of October, and Hobi is swimming in promotions and final tweaks to their album.
I think he’s out with the boys filming something today. It’s quiet as I head up to the top floor, carrying my lunch with me. I enter the practice room, hoping to see Hoseok’s familiar face but find it empty. Sighing, I head over to my usual corner and sit down, beginning to eat.
I nearly choke on my rice when the door swings open less than ten minutes later, Hobi striding in with a happy smile.
“I thought I’d find you up here,” he states proudly, plopping down beside me.
“Don’t you have promos today?” I ask around my food, batting his hand away when he tries to grab some of my food.
“Oh, yeah. We’re finished though.”
“Really? That was fast.”
Hoseok smiles, nodding absentmindedly. “You haven’t looked at the news, have you?”
I pull my phone out. “...no? Why? Did you do something crazy?”
He laughs. “Maybe. I’ll let you be the judge of that.” I give him a quizzical look, immediately pulling up my news app. I scroll around for a little while.
“I’m not seeing…” I gasp as an article pops up. “What?”
BTS now owns 33.33% of Bighit Entertainment - what this means for the future of Bighit and K-pop
“You...you freaking own part of Bighit?!”
Hobi laughs, scooting closer. “Well, kind of. With the other guys. Together we own one third. Kind of cool, right?”
I look at him, utterly shocked. “How long have you known about this?”
He shrugs. “Let’s see...today is October 15th…” he starts counting on his fingers, but my mind is elsewhere.
“Wait. That’s what you said, back in April.”
He blinks at me. “Said what?”
“When you came to Busan! You said something about October 15th...was this it?”
With his heart-shaped smile, Hobi laughs. “Yeah, this was it. Remember how I kept telling you that we wouldn’t have to hide forever? You wonder why Bang PD hasn’t made us break up when he found out about us?”
I stare at the man beside me, my mind going a million miles an hour. “What are you saying?”
Hobi stands up, pulling me up with him. “Come on.” He leads me out the door, taking me to the elevator. “We own a chunk of the company down, so technically, if I were to, say, get all the boys on board with the idea of us, we could possibly convince the CEO of said company to shift a few things around on your contract.”
The doors of the elevator open, Hobi tugging me inside. He punches some buttons, but I keep staring at him like he just offered to fly me to the moon.
“So anyway, that’s where I’ve been the past week or so. Negotiating some terms with Bang PD and convincing the boys to back me up. Now today is the big day.”
The doors open up, revealing us to be on Bang PD’s floor. Pulling me along like an excited school-boy, Hobi throws open the door to find Bang PD sitting behind his desk. He hardly looks up at us, simply pushing a packet across the desk closer to us. Hobi grabs it, extending it to me.
“Here. Your new contract. It’s mainly the same as before except now…” Hobi takes this time to get a little embarrassed, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. “Now, we don’t have to worry about hiding. Not anymore.”
My eyes are glued to his face, still in shock at the sudden turn of events. “You...you did all of this?”
Hobi nods, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Yes. Of course I did.” He laughs to himself. “You have this strange idea of where you should be. You thought that you had to stay away from me even when I was practically throwing myself at your feet,” I cringe at the memory, “and then you thought you should move to Busan just to keep me safe.”
Hobi glances at Bang PD who’s pretending that he can’t hear us. Taking a pen from the desk, Hobi pulls me back out into the hallway. When he sees that it’s bustling with activity, he leads me to the stairwell beside the elevator.
“I think what I’m trying to say is that...that you should be here. With me. Through it all, we should be together. Because we love each other, don’t we? And we’re a mess and we’ve put each other through too much heartache to be good, but I love you. And I think that maybe part of love is walking away when it’s to save the other, but love is also running after each other and never giving up. So that’s what I’ve been doing. Running after this,” he holds up the contract, shaking it in the air with disdain. “Because you deserve to choose for once. You deserve to be where you want to be. I just really, really hope it’s with me. Because if it isn’t...then that just made this whole speech so much cringier.”
By the time he finishes, I’ve already made my decision. In fact, I think I made my decision nearly two years ago.
“In what world would I not choose you?” I ask incredulously. “Hoseok, is this real? No more hiding?”
Hobi smiles in relief. “It’s real. I have it in writing.”
I grab the contract, chuckling. “Does it say something in the fine print about loving you forever or else you’ll sue me?”
Hobi stands beside me, planting a kiss on my temple. “Of course it does, I have to protect my heart somehow.”
I extend my hand out to him, looking into the face that I’ve come to love so dearly. I’m not sure if I deserve him, still. I’m afraid that I’ve put him through too much pain.
How can one still love so fully even after having their heart broken over and over again by the same person?
Perhaps it’s time I learn to forgive myself the way that he’s forgiven me.
I think I would like that. A fresh start, by Hoseok’s side.
“Pen, please.”
Fin.
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02/07/2021 DAB Transcript
Exodus 26:1-27:21, Matthew 25:1-30, Psalms 31:1-8, Proverbs 8:1-11
Today is the 7th day of February welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian and here we are stepping through a threshold that…well…this happens 52 times every year we greet a brand-new week and around here we usually take note of that because...well…we live our lives day by day, week by week and month by month and year by year, but every time we come into a new week it’s out in front of us and we can…we can choose in advance what this week is gonna look like by simply paying attention to the posture of our heart and where things take us. And, so, it's all shiny and sparkly and new and let's walk into it with intentionality. Like let’s be intentional about making this week a bright spot of our year instead of descending into some kind of darkness that we didn’t have any business getting anywhere near. So, it’s a brand-new shiny sparkly and we turn the handle and walk-through it together. This week will read from the Christian Standard Bible. We are in the book of Exodus. We are with the children of Israel who have recently been freed from slavery in Egypt. We are in the wilderness. We are surrounding the mountain of God, Mount Sinai, and God has been laying out ordinances, essentially expectations, rituals, just the way that this newly forming people will be organized. And as I have mentioned when we got into this section, we can certainly read back thousands of years through current lenses, through our eyes now and not understand that this is radically moving the world forward, that many of the things that are being laid out here are new ways for people to conduct themselves toward one another and toward God. And we’re seen God weave a tapestry that will become a culture and He is inserting into this culture essential reminders at every turn about their identity who they are, about who God is, and about where everything is headed, which is primarily what we’re looking for in our lives as well. And, so, let’s pick up the story. Exodus chapters 26 and 27 today.
Prayer:
Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for bringing us into this shiny sparkly new week that we get to live. Thank You. Thank You for the breath of life that we get to live and make plans and lives this week. Thank You. Your presence is always with us and we need to do nothing more than pay attention to the fact that we’re breathing to know that You are here. And, so, we thank You for life and it is our desire to give this life back to You as we move through this week as we continue the dance of life together, the collaboration that You have invited us into. And, so, we take from the Scriptures today, the voice of wisdom, that she is calling out to all the children of Adam which would be everyone that’s hearing this right now, that she is calling out, that she’s overlooking the road, that she's at the crossroads, that she’s beside the city gates, that she's at the main entrance, that she's calling out, that she is teaching us, that we should learn to be shrewd if we’re inexperienced, that we should focus our attention on developing common sense if were foolish, that she would never speak deceptively to us, that she would never deceive or pervert the truth, that she would only lead us to the truth, that she would only speak what is righteous, that we should seek her more than we seek to gain, more than we seek money, more than we seek silver and gold because wisdom is better than jewels. There's nothing, according to the Scriptures here, there's nothing more desirable, there's nothing that can equal attaining wisdom. And, so, this is something we want to carry with us into this new week, that we pay attention, that we slow down and understand that wisdom isn’t hard-to-find, she's at every corner, she's at every juncture, at every crossroads she's there. We just blow on by with whatever it is we feel like doing. We don't slow down enough to listen to what would be wise. Come Holy Spirit and lead us on the pathways of wisdom this week we ask in the name of Jesus. Amen.
Announcements:
dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it's the website, and it’s where you find out what’s going on around here. So, check it out. You can also check just about all this stuff out using the Daily Audio Bible app if you have it. If you don't just go to your app store, whichever…whatever app store you use to get apps for your phone or tablet and download the Daily Audio Bible app. That is definitely the best way to experience the Daily Audio Bible and it will…will only continue in that direction. So, being aware of that is good, but check it out.
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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.
Community Prayer and Praise:
Isabel from Atlanta this is Abide in Christ also in Atlanta and I just will be praying for you. I also had a tumor in my brain taken out and then I had a stroke and then I had a bunch of seizures. So, I am fighting some different things, but the Lord has been just showing up and showing off. And I want you to know that there is a reason in every person's life and the Lord wants to use your personal story to show His grace, His mercy, and His power. So, just Lord I just want You to show up in this person's life. Show that You love, and You cherish every heart and every soul and just be such a light in their heart so that they will never feel like they are alone and never feel like You do not love them. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Hi this is Saved by His grace and happy Valley which is currently under several inches of snow but that's not why I called. It's February 2nd. I just heard DDFT talking about…kind of suggesting that new listeners do listen to the prayers afterwards. I was one of the many who didn't. When the teaching was over that was it. And, so, it's…it's not even just that the prayers become a part of it, it's because as you listen to the prayers you realize you're becoming a part of a huge and wonderful family, a part of the body of Christ and you are meeting people who will be there for you and love you no matter what. You can take off your mask because you don't need to impress anyone. Everyone’s just here because we're all hurting, we’re all hungry to know God and Jesus and we are loving one another in the process. So, I just want to agree with DDFT. I hope I got those initials right and do have a blessed day. Love you all. Bye.
Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is Preston from Sunnyvale…Sunnyvale CA. I'm calling in today to reach out to the new listeners. I know I'm not the only one and I want to share my…my story with the Daily Audio Bible. And I've been with this almost three years. I started in February of 2018. And the reason I want to share my story is that I missed the beginning. I missed the first of the year. I picked up probably about a month and a half after it had started, and I started that day. Could have been February 15th February 20th, I don't remember. But…and so at that point I think we were in…I can't remember…we were either in Exodus or further on and as well as in the gospels and since that point I've been with the Daily Audio Bible every day. And I missed Genesis, I missed the good part of Exodus that year but because I stuck with it I picked it up the next year. And, you know, if…if you're feeling guilty or like you have some sort of pressure on you to…to get it right at the beginning and you want to get caught up…well…go ahead and do that if you want but if you don't, don't feel bad. The Bible works…it works its beauty throughout our lives no matter what. Have a great day.
Good morning everybody hey it's Annette Allison from Oklahoma City and it's been a while. I've just been cruising along like everybody else is. __ cruise control. Anyway, today is February 2nd. Today’s my brother’s birthday. And for those new folks my brother has been doing a 13-year stint strike two in federal prison and he now has less than one year to go. So, I would like to pray for my brother that he has success when he gets out of prison and most of all he can resume or start a good relationship with the Lord afterwards. And I know that's a tough thing in…in prison. And you Kairos guys, I bless you and I love you all so much. Thank you thank you thank you for all your work. Please pray for my brother, just keep him in your prayers, that you know, and any of us people who have wayward children who might be in and out of the __, that things turn around. I love you guys. Have a great day. Bye-bye.
Good morning Daily Audio Bible family my name is Patrick I am out of Tennessee today is February 2nd and I heard a prayer request. It’s from a lady that talked about a little girl that was __ declaring to her she was clean, that she was worried. It reminded me of when I was young, I went to a very powerful church __. The…the church grew to huge numbers over a period of five years and we had these big prayer meetings and I was a struggling teen looking for God and I was always going down front wanting someone to put their hands on me and for a big spiritual moment to happen. And then the pastor's dad was the only one left. The entire church had finished. Everyone had gone home and the only person that was left was the pastor's dad the pastor's mum and the pastor's mom saw me praying at the altar and came over and touched him and said that I needed someone to pray with and I was in a place where I was looking for some kind of big miracle and he came over to me and he tapped me on the shoulder and I looked at him and all he told me was, “son you have to remember that Satan is under your feet.” And I feel that as a Christian people we lose that thought. We see these struggles. I still have struggles in my life, but that moment kept my perspective focused on Satan is under your feet no matter what you're doing...
Richard, man, my brother it is so good to hear from you. You are a first-time listener now it’s been several years. You used to be Richard from Mississippi back in the old days of 2018. You’ve since had a divorce and you have since gotten Covid. You're now Richard from Arkansas working with your dad and you are trying to get back into reading the word and listening to the DAB every morning. My prayer for you and my prayer for everyone listening to this is that May God bless you. May you see what God is doing and when He grants you the vision to see what He is doing may you have the heart that is choosing to say hey God I'm gonna jump on your train. I love you Richard. Know that you are not alone. Know that your voice is being heard and that goes for anyone else who wants to hear this. Praying that you might be well. In Jesus’ name. Holy Spirit intercede.
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TESTING THE PUPPIES
By the time the puppies are six weeks old, much of our attention is devoted to the critical issue of placement: where are they going and why? Puppy placement should never be arbitrary. Rather, it should be the result of careful consideration and planning, something that evolves out of a respect for puppy and person alike. Different pups are suited to different circumstances, and it is important for a breeder to come to an accurate appraisal of each dog’s possibilities.
You will want to consult your breeder regarding placement procedures. At New Skete we evaluate puppies in several ways. First, since we take notes on each litter from birth and are fully aware of the genetic background, we have a sizable amount of information on each pup by the time he is six and a half weeks old. His development is looked at in detail, and a general impression is formed about his adaptability to various circumstances.
We also interview many of our clients well in advance of the time they will receive their puppy. This allows us to reach a mutual agreement on the type of dog that will be best for them, as well as to measure how serious they are about certain responsibilities. Unfortunately clients are not always realistic about puppies’ true needs. For example, people often say they want a Schutzhund puppy, with no real understanding of what that means. Schutzhund is a highly challenging form of training that involves competence in three separate areas: tracking, obedience, and protection. It requires a high level of dedication and knowledge on the part of an owner and should never be undertaken without the support of a reputable club and qualified trainer. Because of its demanding nature, puppies suited for this type of work must be more confident, more competitive, more alert, and much more aggressive than the normal companion puppy. A novice handler could get far more than he bargained for by purchasing a Schutzhund puppy without a serious commitment to the sport. In the wrong hands, a strong, dominating puppy could easily develop into an overly aggressive dog with serious behavioral problems.
We strongly encourage personal interviews before the adoption of a puppy. By understanding what you are really looking for in a dog, the breeder can work more effectively to provide you with an appropriate puppy—one with whom you will be truly satisfied.
Puppy Aptitude Testing
We also administer puppy aptitude tests to each pup at seven weeks. Over the past three decades, there has been a growing appreciation among breeders of the value these tests have in determining what situations best suit each puppy. The test is intended to guide the placement process by identifying general personality traits. As an aptitude test, it allows us to evaluatepuppies on the basis of sociability, dominance, and obedience potential.
Such evaluation is nothing new. It goes back hundreds of years to cultures in which dogs were used for specific tasks: herding and guarding sheep, hunting, transporting, protecting, rescuing, even pulling carts and boats. In our mechanized and technological society it is difficult for us to appreciate the vital importance dogs once had for people’s survival. Working dogs were critical to the economic well-being of their owners, and farmers and breeders had to learn by experience how to spot puppies best suited for various tasks, as well as how to cull those who lacked promise. People had to acquire a breeder’s intuition in order to perpetuate and develop the breeding lines they were using. Puppy evaluation has long been at the heart of selective breeding and the establishment of purebred dogs.
We have used the Volhard Puppy Aptitude Test (see appendix) successfully for many years, finding it an invaluable aid for placing puppies in homes where they will thrive. Though no one test can ever be considered infallible, when combined with all of the previous information accumulated on each litter, the Volhard test gives a clear picture of puppy personality and potential that makes the likelihood of successful placement high.
Testing Anka’s Litter
Fifty days after the puppies are born, Debbie Collins, a friend who is unacquainted with Anka’s litter, comes to the monastery to test the pups. We always have someone do the testing who is a complete stranger to the litter, in a location the pups are unaccustomed to. This prevents biased results, since the purpose of the test is to obtain an accurate picture of each puppy’s raw temperament. Puppies will behave differently in various circumstances, but we can accurately chart a pup’s true temperament by observing her reactions during a broad spectrum of new experiences and minor stresses.
The best time to test puppies is as close to the forty-ninth day as possible. Once they are seven weeks old, EEG readings indicate that neurological development has reached adult levels, thus allowing us to obtain a true reading of their behavioral tendencies. If testing is done earlier, results will be inconclusive because neurological development is still too immature; if done later, between eight and ten weeks, pups will be in the fear period, making assessments of temperament subject to serious misinterpretation.
We conduct the test late in the morning, well after the pups have eaten, during a period when they are lively. The exam takes approximately ten minutes, and each pup is tested individually, going through all the phases in one session. To assist the tester, one of the monks watches from a hidden location and records the puppies’ responses.*
Yola is the first pup to take the test. The initial phase evaluates social attraction, testing the degree to which a puppy is willing to approach a stranger. Once Yola has been placed in the room, Debbie crouches down several feet away from her and begins clapping her hands gentlyThough Yola’s tail initially goes down, she approaches readily, and when she reaches Debbie, she circles back and forth between her legs, squirming affectionately as she is petted. This is a submissive reaction, indicating a certain lack of self-confidence that is blended with a gentle disposition toward humans. The other pups are bouncier, coming readily to Debbie with their tails wagging high and licking at her hands. Sunny even jumps and paws at Debbie’s leg, displaying a more dominant, self-confident nature. None of the pups bites at her hands.After several seconds, Debbie stands up and begins the “following” exercise, which measures the pup’s sociability as well as her willingness to accept leadership. As Debbie walks away, Yola pauses a moment, then continues after Debbie with her tail wagging gently, though she does not get underfoot. She stays behind Debbie and follows her around the room, suggesting a willingness to accept Debbie’s leadership. Kairos and Oka score about the same, while both Kipper and Sunny end up getting underfoot, a sign that could spell dominance with their future owners.
The next two phases, the restraint and social dominance tests, are given in succession and measure puppies’ tendencies toward dominance or submission, as well as their willingness to forgive. Debbie crouches down and rolls Yola over on her back, looking at her calmly. Yola remains passive, offering no resistance, and licks Debbie’s hand several times. After thirty seconds, Yola is placed upright on all fours and is stroked gently from the top of her head down to her back. During the petting, Yola licks at Debbie’s face once and seems to melt. This series of reactions shows a high degree of submissiveness and sensitivity, and suggests that Yola will be a dog who is quick to forgive after being disciplined. Her response differs from that of the other pups, who offer more initial resistance on the restraint test, struggling to escape for at least fifteen seconds before they settle. Except for Sunny. Sunny struggles and squirms to get freefor the duration, tossing his head back and forth in protest as he is held to the ground. When time is called, Debbie lets out a sigh of relief, and Sunny immediately rights himself and walks away. He comes back quickly, however, and as Debbie pets him, he jumps up toward her and starts pawing at her arm. Sunny’s response to the restraint test shows a high orientation toward dominance, and though he was forgiving after it, he was also somewhat pushy. The other pups did not show this characteristic; they simply allowed themselves to be stroked, cuddling up to Debbie to lick her face.
In the final phase of the temperament section of the test—elevation dominance—the puppy is evaluated in a situation in which she has no control. Cradling Yola with both of her hands under the rib cage, Debbie lifts her up and holds her in midair for thirty seconds. Yola shows no signs of struggle; she is passive, fully accepting of the handling. The other pups score exactly the same, even Sunny. Not one manifests any inclination to struggle, a sign that they will be easy to handle when placed in a situation such as a veterinarian’s office or a professional groomer’s parlor.
At this point, the tone of the exam shifts to obedience aptitude. The first test is a retrieval exercise and demonstrates a puppy’s willingness to work with a human being. Debbie takes a crumpled piece of paper and jiggles it playfully in front of Yola. She then tosses the paper about four feet away. Yola goes to investigate it, sniffs it for several seconds, and then returns to Debbie without having picked up the paper. This indicates a modest aptitude for obedience, since she did investigate and show some interest but did not bring the paper back. The other pups do, though not in identical ways. Kipper and Kairos trot over to the paper immediately, pick it up, and return with it to Debbie, who praises them enthusiastically. When Oka gets it, she meanders around the room, showing a little independence, but after about thirty seconds she brings it to Debbie, who is still clapping her hands and calling her. Sunny’s response is the most precocious. Running after the paper, he picks it up in his mouth and shakes it vigorously back and forth. He paces sideways for several moments, then shakes it some more and brings it back to Debbie, who praises him. All the puppies’ reactions show various degrees of obedience potential, with Oka’s response being the weakest. Her delay in bringing the paper back suggests a bit of independence that we do not see in the other pups.
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Arrest and Proclamation
Synopsis – Jesus began to announce the arrival of the kingdom of God following the arrest of John the Baptist– Mark 1:14-15.
Jesus did not begin to proclaim the impending Kingdom of God until after the arrest of John the Baptist. This was indicative of the opposition and adversity that would come to characterize his ministry. At the time, the region of Palestine consisted of three territories - Judea, Samaria, and Galilee. The latter was the largest and covered most of northern Palestine. Galilee had a mixed population of Jews and Gentiles.
[Sea of Galilee - Photo by Dave Herring on Unsplash]
Unlike John, Jesus began his public ministry in the towns and villages of Galilee – And unlike the prophets of ancient Israel, the mission of the Messiah did NOT begin or center in the city of Jerusalem or the Temple, the very heart of the Jewish religion - (Matthew 4:13).
The reaction to him by the local population to Jesus. Though unsure of who he was, many responded enthusiastically and flocked to hear him. In contrast to the crowds, from the very start, the religious leaders from Jerusalem were offended by his teachings and deeds.
(Mark 1:14-15) - "And after John was delivered up, Jesus came into Galilee proclaiming the glad-message of God and saying — The season is fulfilled, And the kingdom of God hath drawn near — Repent and have faith in the glad-message.”
Jesus was not a Pharisee, Scribe, or a member of the Essenes, nor did he belong to the priestly class. He had no connection to the Temple or rabbinical training. Nonetheless, he entered village synagogues outside of Jerusalem to proclaim the kingdom of God and, in doing so, he astounded all who heard him - “For he taught them as having authority, and not as the scribes.”
On his own initiative, he called disciples to leave their homes and livelihoods to follow him. Jesus had authority over demons and diseases. He had the authority not only to heal lepers but to touch them without contracting ritual impurity - (Mark 1:16-45).
The gospel of Mark stresses how Jesus announced the “good news” of the Kingdom. The time to repent and believe the gospel had arrived and the “kingdom of God was at hand.” While Mark does not define the “kingdom” at this point, the phrase serves to summarize his teachings.
The public ministry of the Messiah began only after the arrest of John by Herod Antipas, one of the sons of Herod the Great. He was half Samaritan and half Idumæan – He had no Jewish blood. His wife, Herodias, was formerly married to his brother, Philip. She was also the daughter of another half-brother and son of Herod the Great, Aristobulus. This meant Herodias was the niece of Herod, which compounded his violation of the Mosaic Law. According to the gospel of Luke, John was arrested for criticizing Herod over his unlawful marriage - (Luke 3:19-20).
In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus went to Galilee after the arrest of John. He did not do so to escape Herod’s jurisdiction - Galilee was part of his domain. The text states only that he went into Galilee to proclaim the gospel:
(Matthew 4:12-17) – “And hearing that John had been delivered up, he retired into Galilee; and forsaking Nazareth, he came and fixed his dwelling in Capernaum, which was by the lake — within the bounds of Zebulun and Naphtali: that it might be fulfilled, which was spoken through Isaiah the prophet, saying: Land of Zebulun and land of Naphtali, the lake-way across the Jordan — Galilee of the nations, The people that was sitting in darkness, a great light beheld — and on them who were sitting in land and shade of death, Light rose on them. From that time began Jesus to be making proclamation, and saying — Repent ye, for the kingdom of the heavens hath drawn near.” – (The Emphasized Bible).
In Mark, the Greek verb rendered “handed over” is theologically-loaded - (paradidōmi) – Repeatedly, it is used for the “handing over” of the faithful to abuse by religious and governmental authorities. At least ten times, Jesus warned that he himself would be “handed over” to the Temple and the Gentile authorities for trial and execution. In the present passage, the verb is in the passive voice, meaning, the subject of the verb (John) was the recipient of the action - He was the one “handed over” for arrest, but this was in accordance with the plan of God - (Mark 9:31, 10:33).
The gospel accounts nowhere suggest John the Baptist was “handed over” by any of his disciples or companions, unlike Jesus, who would be betrayed later by Judas. By coordinating the start of the mission of Christ with the arrest of John, Mark indicates that the public ministry of Jesus did not begin until the ministry of John ended. The preparatory work of the Baptist was complete; therefore, the work of the Coming One could begin.
The setting of the arrest meant the gospel began in adversity. John withdrew to the wilderness to administer a baptism of repentance. In contrast, Jesus traveled to the populous territory of Galilee to proclaim the “good news” to all who would hear.
In Galilee, Jesus proclaimed the “gospel of God.” The phrase is applied to him only here in Mark. Otherwise, the term is found in the writings of Paul and Peter. Its use here may be evidence that ‘Mark’ was a companion of Paul, Peter, or both - (Romans 1:1, 15:16, 2 Corinthians 11:7, 2 Thessalonians 2:2, 2:8-9, 1 Peter 4:17).
Jesus declared that the “appointed time” was fulfilled. The Greek term used is kairos or “season, time, the opportune time, appointed time” (Strong’s - #G2540). The verb rendered “fulfilled” is in a perfect tense and signifies an action completed in the past with continuing results into the present. His announcement is a verbal allusion to a passage from the book of Daniel:
(Daniel 12:4-9) – “But, thou, Daniel, close up the words and seal the book, until the time of the end — many will run to and fro, and knowledge shall abound. Then I, Daniel, looked, and lo! two others, standing — one on this side of the bank of the river and one on that side of the bank of the river. And one said to the man clothed with linen, who was upon the waters of the river, How long shall be the end of the wonders? And I heard the man clothed with linen who was upon the waters of the river, when he held up his right hand and his left unto the heavens, and sware by him that liveth unto times age-abiding — For a set time and times and a half, and when the dispersion of a part of the holy people is brought to an end, then shall come to an end all these things. And I heard but could not understand — so I said, O my lord! what shall be the issue of these things? Then said he, Go thy way, Daniel; for closed up and sealed are the words, until the time of the end” - (The Emphasized Bible).
A repeated theme in the visions of Daniel was the promise of a future kingdom and the time when the saints would inherit it. The theological concept of the “kingdom of God” found in the synoptic gospels is derived, at least in part, from the book of Daniel - for example:
(Daniel 2:44-45) – “And in the days of those kings shall the God of the heavens set up a kingdom which, to the ages, shall not be destroyed, and the kingdom to another people shall not be left — it shall break in pieces and make an end of all these kingdoms, but itself shall stand to the ages.” - (The Emphasized Bible).
(Daniel 7:13-14) – “I continued looking in the visions of the night when lo! with the clouds of the heavens, one like a son of man was coming — and unto the Ancient of days he approached, and before him they brought him near; and unto him were given dominion and dignity and kingship, that all peoples, races and tongues unto him should do service — his dominion was an age-abiding dominion, which should not pass away, and his kingdom that which should not be destroyed.” - (The Emphasized Bible).
(Daniel 7:27) – “And the kingdom, and the dominion, and the greatness of the kingdoms under all the heavens shall be given to the people of the holy ones of the Highest — his kingdom is an age-abiding kingdom, and all the dominions unto him will render service, and show themselves obedient.” - (The Emphasized Bible).
According to Jesus, the kingdom had “drawn near” or was “at hand.” The Greek verb engizō means, “to approach, draw near” (Strong’s - #G1448). The sense is of something that is at hand - imminent. The announcement indicated the promised kingdom was about to arrive in the person and ministry of Jesus, which is why his proclamation was “good news.”
The “kingdom of God” stresses the rule or sovereignty of God, something beyond just geographical jurisdiction. The Greek word for “kingdom” can be rendered “dominion,” “realm,” or “reign,” which may better represent the idea - The dominion or reign of God.
How should individuals respond to the announcement of the coming Kingdom? First, Jesus called men and women to “repent.” Second, he summoned all who would to “believe” the good news. Both Greek verbs are in the imperative mood - The mood of command.
Like John the Baptist, Jesus proclaimed the imminence of the “kingdom.” Its approach necessitated repentance and faith. Instead of emphasizing water baptism, he called for faith in the kingdom, although this does not mean he did away with baptism.
The approach of the kingdom was “good news” for some, but a sign of impending doom for others. A person’s destiny depended on his or her response to the gospel. To inherit the kingdom required faith and repentance. “Repentance” is a turning away from something - “Belief” is what one turns to – Faith in the Gospel.
The “kingdom of God” becomes a major theme in the gospel of Mark and develops as the narrative progresses. Especially relevant are the “kingdom parables” found in Chapter 4. The evidence of its arrival was provided by the ministry of Jesus - In his preaching, healings, and exorcisms - (Matthew 12:28, Mark 1:23-45, Luke 11:20).
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Btw, turns out March 26th was just my mom's sister's birthday...
I really did get all worried for nothing. still srsly fuck all this shit tho To clarify btw, I’ve basically been over how I was treated for years now. I’m angry about how my family allowed themselves to be treated; how they still memorialized her, and how they still have what amounts to a shrine of her downstairs. Even though it’s next to impossible to think of a single genuinely good thing.
And to elaborate cuz I wanna rant... Way back during first Kairos in 2005 @17 when I said I "let go" of "it," I really did -- but that "it" was the personal stuff she said/did about/to *me* specifically. It was the final acceptance of mourning a relationship I used to think existed. Once I moved out in 2006 though, there's the things she used to say to my siblings about me. My lil bro never believed nor retained a word of it. But our lil sis, well, some things got stuck with her, but the only blame I will accept is the "leaving them [esp. my lil sis] with her." Sucks, but I had to. It's not that bad though. She just calls me "cold" sometimes and gets defensive over her. But all of that, is whatever. My lil sis really was her favorite anyway, & I never wanted them to hate her just for my sake. What I AM so angry about is 2008-2010. And then ESPECIALLY the funeral. I have since told my mom [& her mom & 1 of her sisters] the truth about this part, but as far as I know, my dad might still think I voluntarily changed my semester plans at the drop of a hat to be home more often for her. They may make sacrifices for people who hate them, but I won't. I did that because I saw him killing himself while he knew all along it would never be "enough" for her. And after that, just the rest of his life was going to be knowing it really was never enough. My mom is already always 200% booked to begin with. I saw it in her, too, when she got the news the cancer was back and knew life was about to become an even worse hell, that she was going to be relying on her more than ever, and how she tortured her even when she was well. My brother was still struggling in school & suddenly my mom couldn't help him at all. My sister was still put upon to do my mom's normal house things for the 2 days a week I was gone, & my old fave teacher of all time was torturing her in the meantime. (& well I suppose this also turned out to be a great distraction from my death-threatening exbf.) So as soon as my mom got off the phone, already crying, probably at least a little for the woman who hated her, I told her I was dropping down to the 2 easy classes [cuz of student loans, I couldn't just stop]. I would take up "being mommy" around the house the rest of the time, and the summer I would take off completely, so that she [a teacher] might still get somewhat of a break. I would drive her to radiation from then on, even if my dad was free, so that my dad did not have to be with her for at least an hour. SO WHO THE FUCK do you REALLY THINK I did all that for??? Yeah. Personally, I AM offended when anyone ever thinks different. That time was so hard and we were all destroying ourselves; but how could anyone think I was doing any of that for her? "She really does appreciate it, you know, what you’re doing for her.” I did it for you, ya fuckwit. Back when I thought you could still be saved. Whenever she took anything out on me, I was literally incapable of giving a single fuck even if I tried. Doctors would seem a lil confused at first when they tried to be sensitive with me and I was just like, ‘all I need are the papers, instructions, and any info I have to relay to my parents. please skip the pep talk.’ and just plain didn't acknowledge any emotion, even flat out ignored that they had ever said any sympathetic words. I did what I had to, what I was told, and not a single thing more, not a single thing less. And the funeral. A 2-week-long show of hiding anything I was thinking, and only being concerned with how people would perceive my every reaction, or lack thereof. That funeral & all was one of the weirdest experiences of my life. To watch the very moment a person died, and then be surrounded by all that, and not feel anything? Like, I thought I knew what “not feeling anything” or “to become numb” felt like before, but no, this was a brand new level of apathy, and freedom. I was way too aware of no change in heart rate, no change in anything, nothing special in the way of thoughts. And then for that to carry on for 2 weeks? Nothing. Except, maybe some pessimistic worry for the future over how this would fuck my sister up. I knew exactly what she had said to, said about, or done to each of the people there, and more. A lot of them didn't know. A lot excused her. A lot were there only for us, assuming we were all sad. None of them deserved any of it; she didn't deserve any of them. People chalked up my spaced-out boredom to bordering on catatonic, and how it “hadn’t really hit me yet,” assuming it would at some point over the next year, but I knew it wouldn’t, & it didn’t. There was nothing to hit me; I just felt better and better. That apathy wasn’t from a hole - it was the biggest most overshadowing weight of my life being lifted off. After 30 years of randomly accusing my mom of cheating, berating her to quit her job & get pregnant, then mocking a miscarriage, saying god didn't mean for her to have children so how dare she try to carry me, then continuing the emotional & psychological abuse with us, amongst other constant varied psychological & attempted financial abuse of my parents, threats, and a few physical instances... My mom did the eulogy. A nice one. My sister cried the whole time; all she had been was a cooperative blonde-haired-blue-eyed child. My dad was thrown into an existential crisis; where would he ever get approval from now? He lost his big brother when he was a teenager in a fast 6 months of leukemia, now both his parents were now dead, and his sister was sure to stay estranged. And don’t forget, what was it she used to say a lot? “The wrong son died.” A family friend hugged him and I heard her whisper, “You know she really did always love you.” ...yeah, how healthy does that mixture sound? My brother felt guilty for being out bowling when she actually died; all his life he'd heard the story of how my dad's sister dawdled and missed being present when their father died. Me? ...the mints were addictive, the food was free & gifted left and right, alcohol was abundantly provided, got to see some people I'd missed, and the time was excused to hang out and play games til 3 in the morning with friends. I didn't bother springing for a new outfit though; too much thought and work. During the repast, having a ball being drunk with my brother's friends, I actually forgot why we were there during a couple different moments. But mostly the ceremonies were long and boring, and people exhausted me with... "condolences." First off, how dare you-- "Haha, no thank you." “Oh, keep them, please.” “Hm, save that for my dad maybe.” “Ahh, you have no idea...” So yeah, I don’t care. I’ve basically been over how I was treated for years now. I’m angry about how they allowed themselves to be treated, and to this day, still defend how she blatantly abused them all.
#excuse the rant but idc#the old lady#yet again for old times' sake tho cuz i can't say it enough:#don't fucking TELL 11yo's to ''be the adult''#esp. in the face of a tantruming immature actual-adult#child abuse#emotional abuse#psychological abuse#death tw#funeral tw#cancer tw#my stupid family
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And Across Time Chapter 1- And So I Was Lucky
I crouched against the wall. Crap, a whole big bag a heaping helping of crap. Out of all days today was the the one day the guard actually chooses to do his job and check the room. I glanced around the room for anything to hide behind, but there wasn’t much. Nothing but glass showcases lining the walls. It would have to do.I ducked behind the farthest one shrinking into the shadows, listening to the echoing taps of the guards footsteps, as they got closer and closer. A crackle broke through the air, nearly giving me a heart attack, and the footsteps paused.
“Mike?” A voice coughed. I watched the guards shadow along the wall as he fished his radio from his belt.
“Yeah?” Mike the guard, answered gruffly.
“There’s a disturbance at door two. I need you to check it out.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he ruffed back. I watched his shadow turn and grow smaller as he started to walk off, not bothering to check the room. I let the breath I had been holding out in relief. Maybe, just maybe lady luck was on my side after all.
I waited until the guards footsteps were almost gone before I jumped out of my hiding spot. I crept into the hallway and kept close to the wall as I snuck through it. Getting into this place had been easy, so was getting to the room I needed. There only so much a house museum can do when it comes to security. Specially when its owned by a cheap criminal. The hard part however was getting what I was hired to get. II snuck into the room and gazed around. This was one of the only rooms in the building that had any decent security. The item I needed was no exception.
I spotted it on the back wall completely alone, trapped in a case of safety glass and paired with an electronic pin lock. I crouched down and observed the object inside the case. It was a simple thing, obviously old but not exactly one of a kind considering all the other swords in the room looked almost exactly like this one. I couldn’t imagine why anyone would want this, want it enough to hire someone like me to steal it anyway. I also couldn’t imagine why this sword had more security then the beautiful expensive jewelry the shown in the other rooms.
But it didn’t matter. I wasn’t here to imagine and the name on the case matched the one that was given to me. The name was Kairos. I reached into my pocket, grabbing a glow stick already cracked. Dull enough to show the numbers on the pin but not light enough to be noticed. The green glow illuminating the electronic lock. And so the hard part begins. The hard part being the trust I had to place in my buyer that the pin he gave me was correct or I would be totally screwed. I brought my fingers up willing them to stop shaking and started to type in the number that I had spent many, many days memorizing. 102800. There was a loud beep but the light on the lock stayed red. My stomach dropped and my heart thundered widely in my chest. I stared stupidly at the case, my mind blank on what to do next. Then I blinked, shaking my head.
Come on Victory, you wanna be a professional. Stop being and idiot and wake up. Try again and if it doesn't work switch to plan B. Its there for a reason, no matter how bad it is. I once again slowly and carefully typed the numbers in the keypad again. Come one baby please, open up. The light switched green. Carefully, I opened the case.
It opened easily enough, except for the unfortunate long and loud screech that screamed through the room. I grabbed the sword throwing it into the small duffel bag on my back, not bothering to be gentle about it and headed back into the hallway when I heard the horrible familiar sound of the radio crackled coming up the stair at the end of the hall.
“That disturbance as door two was just a stupid stray cat. Nothing to worry about. Thought I heard something upstairs though, guessing I should check it out.”. Are you kidding me world? Make up your mind already. I stood in the hallway, my heart in my stomach, adrenalin beating through my body like a drum as I waited for the guard to catch me. Then my eye caught something. A cracked door a little ways toward the stairs. I bolted for it, shoving it open, then closing the door with a click, just in time to see Mike the guard reach the top of the stairs. I held my breath afraid to make a sound by breathing, praying that he didn’t see me. I heard the squeaky shoes come closer and closer, then kept waiting. I let out my breath in amazement enlightenment tingling all over my body. There was no reason he shouldn't have seen me. I straightened up and looked around, my eyes widening at all the beautiful jeweled necklaces that lined the room. My fingers twitched to take the chance, my gut filled with victory but my mind new that I wasn’t out of this yet. Besides this was to important to screw up.
“Come on Gold, your almost through this.” Nicks voice filled my ears pushing through the feelings so that I could get a tight grip on myself. I put my ear to the door and listened closley. When I heard nothing, I gently cracked the door and peeked out. It was clear. I took off again. Fast and silent. Faster than what I had bee doing before, thanking the gods that some idiot forgot to check to make sure that the room with thousands of dollars of Jewels inside, was shut and locked.
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I've noticed one of the main differences between your interpretation of Jean and other interpretations of him is that you view his honesty and morals as a choice or a standard by which he holds himself to rather than a more involuntary process or personality trait. For example, reading him as having a commitment to honesty vs lack of filter (or an under development filter). Or reading him as having ethical standards vs compassion born out of human "weakness." Could you speak to this a bit more?
Jean’s defeatism in the draft of chapter 1, published in Englishin the first Attack on Titan guidebook. Sorry for the fuzzy picture!
Hiya, anon! No worries, I got the meaning of your messages :) Ican speak to all these questions a bit more and defend my interpretation ofJean; I think there’s enough evidence to support my reading in the manga, evenwhen it is separated from the initial draft, although I see where yourquestions come from. I agree with you that Jean is much more explicit aboutsome of his thoughts and motivations in the draft of chapter one, but I don’tthink they’re any less present in the actual manga, and may actually bepresented with a greater degree of subtlety in their published form.
(Preemptively, I’m going to say that I don’t think we should use the word sp*zzy; many people with disabilities consider it derogatory. I’m sure you didn’t mean it as such! But just soyou’re aware! I myself am currently trying to unlearn ableist language)
More under the cut :)
Tospeak to your first question, I do think Jean’s honesty is a conscious choicebased on the way the text frames it, but I also don’t think him valuing and choosing honestyis automatically at odds with it being an aspect of his personality. He has animpulse towards honesty and openness (just think of how he blurts out to Mikasathat she has beautiful hair or of his fight with Eren where he vents hisfrustrations in chapter 17; he also calls it his “bad habit” in chapter 15, suggesting it’s kind of automatic for him). I’ve argued elsewhere that by chapter 90Jean has developed a sense of kairos (timingof an argument) which I believe he lacks in the opening of the series–part ofhis evolution might be that he learns to distinguish when honesty is mostimportant and useful, whereas in the beginning some of his honesty might becounterproductive, I admit. But I think people do misunderstand Jean when theyportray his honesty as a complete lack of a filter, unthinking and uninformed.Because Jean does have a filter: he does make choices about when to say certainthings, and when he’s honest it mostly does seem related to important subjectslike the value of individual human life or his criticism of Eren. Tellingly, we actually see him apply a filter early on in the manga: after hisinitial encounter with Mikasa does not elicit positive results, Jean completelyclams up about his feelings for her, only thinking of revealing them when he ison the verge of death, when Mikasa is not even present herself.
Chapter 7. This scene comes before weknow about Jean’s crush on Mikasa in the manga, so it was very confusing for mewhen I initially read it—in the anime it comes after the training sequences, sowe know that Jean is probably talking about Mikasa. Still, the Englishis vague. According to @mirandafandomette who checks the French translation forme whenever I have a question (thanks, bro!), Jean says “faire ma déclaration”here, which has a heavy romantic connotation.
Jeandoes not flirt with Mikasa, he does not hound Mikasa to earn her attention(despite fandom portrayals). He leaves her alone. He creates a filter, andalthough he develops a rivalry with Eren after this event, he keeps thisparticular motivation for it under wraps. Hardly what we would expect of someone whohad absolutely no ability to control his speech or did not care about hurtingpeople. This is not to say that hiding his feelings for Mikasa is dishonest: he never denies them, forinstance, and as such I don’t think his secret-keeping runs counter to hisvalues or his personality. It’s just that, in this instance, he can and does recognize aboundary, and upholds it.
Ibelieve we also see Jean choose to be honest at an early stage of his career inthe military. When Shadis asks him why he’s enlisted, we have a panel whereyoung Jean pauses before answering. He doesn’t just blurt his motivation out,but grits his teeth and gives an honest reply.
Chapter 15.
Ithink it’s important we get this panel of pausing here: I think it shows that Jean isthinking, being deliberate in what he says as a response. For Jean, even at soyoung an age, being honest within the military is a political move. He’s openabout his motivations, refuses to go along with the charade of wanting to do aservice for the king or wanting to be a hero for fighting the titans. Hecritiques both Eren and Marco for their idealism, believing it masks their fearand insecurities. Instead, he chooses to live with his fears exposed.
Chapter 3.
Chapter 15.
Jeanprides himself on knowing the stakes. He doesn’t claim to be something he’snot, even when it makes him look bad or runs counter to military discourseabout bravery and service. This honesty serves him well: as Marco says, peopletrust him because of it, following him when he’s willing to put himself at riskfor a cause because they believe he’s adequately assessed the situation andthought through the risks.
Chapter 18.
Chapter 23. Jean successfully gets Reiner and Armin to follow his plan.
Allof this honesty goes beyond just not having a filter. Sure, Jean canoccasionally pick inopportune times to voice his opinion, but he never does sowithout fully comprehending the risk involved in doing so. That facet of hishonesty, more than anything, is calculated and brave. We see Jean, forinstance, pause and consider before telling Levi that he thinks he’s going toofar with Historia. Jean is the only one who voices a direct critique, and wesee him building up to confronting Levi about his methodology beforehand.
Chapters 55-56.
So Ithink my answer to your question is that Jean both has this natural impulsetowards honesty, but also chooses it as his life philosophy, which he nuancesover time and as he gains experience.
Tomove on to your second point, I don’t mean to sound dismissive, but I actuallycan’t think of a moment in the manga where Jean behaves in a particularlyimmature or goofy way ^^’. Which scenes were you thinking of, in particular? Ithink one would be hard-pressed to read him as a comic relief character in themanga. And sure, he’s growing and maturing post-chapter 50, but he’s notstarting from a really immature point, particularly because he’s alreadyundergone a lot of growth since the beginning of the manga. We don’t see thetype of immaturity and shenanigans incorporated into the cooking contest OVA,for example, and Jean pretty much never gives us the cocky grins he’s known forin the anime—in the manga he’s almost always frowning or making creepy faces,actually ^^’. I’ve read the interview where Isayama claims to have beeninfluenced by the anime’s portrayal of Jean and his VA in particular, but Ipersonally don’t see this influence coming through very strongly (perhaps inthe HS AU Jean?). Jean is pretty consistently serious, and scenes that aremeant to be humorous involving him often involve Sasha and Connie—Sasha stealingbread and Jean and Armin lecturing her, Jean and Connie trying to prevent Sashafrom eating up all the meat at a feast, Sasha and Connie dunking Jean in theocean … I guess Jean drinking from the ocean can be read as goofy, but Iread the ocean scenes as people being giddy and ecstatic at having encounteredthe ocean at last—an understandable reaction! And when Jean challenges Erenafter the events of the Reiss cave, he seems genuinely worried about him andlike he’s trying to provoke him into a fight to get his old spark back—it’s nothim being goofy and stumbling into something that works, it really seemscalculated on his part, given how many times he tries (three!) and Armin’sknowing look.
Chapters 70, 72. My close-reading ofthese scenes can be found here.
Mypoint is, if these scenes are funny it’s because Jean is so serious andsomething distinctly not serious is happening to him, or because everyone iskind of in a lighter mood, or because Jean is actually saying something kind offunny. These jokes don’t really seem to about Jean’s immaturity or naturalgoofiness. I’d be curious to hear if I’ve missed something, but I just don’tsee this behavior you’re talking about, I’m sorry.
To goon a bit of a tangent, I think the comparison to Reiner is apt though, and Ithink it is something that pops up within the manga itself. While Reinerinitially disparages Jean as “not a real soldier,” Jean actually turns out tobe someone Reiner desperately wants to be: someone who lives by his convictionsand never actually hides himself. Whereas Reiner is confused about hisloyalties and develops multiple personas to cope with the disconnect betweenhis feelings and his actions (as well as to just manage everything that’s goingon around him), Jean balks at pretending he’s someone he’s not (Eren, onmultiple occasions, and possibly now Helos) and is very open about hismotivations. We even see them compared in their reactions to a former-comrade-nowenemies’ death, and we can tell they’re being compared because of theirpositioning in these panels.
Chapter 77. These incidents, the former aflashback, both occur in the same chapter. Reiner and Jean both address theircrying comrades, whom they have been leading, after they have killed a formerfriend.
Althoughit pains him, Jean honestly owns Reiner’s “death” while Reiner disassociates tocope with Marco’s death. Now, Jean has not been put under the kinds of stressesthat Reiner has by any means, and I don’t mean to imply that Reiner’s responseto death is somehow a moral failing since it is really beyond his control, butit strikes me that Jean becomes the honest compassionate soldier that Reinercannot be because of his circumstances (not necessarily in the above scene, but elsewhere, even earlier in the manga when Jean suggests to Reiner that they put themselves as risk to give the Survey Corps time to retreat). They’re both “cool,” as you and Isayamasay, but Jean’s the one who is actually practicing what he preaches—again, thisis not to come down too hard on Reiner, who is in a very tricky situation andis suffering severely, but merely to point out that Jean is actually Reiner’sideal and the vision he tried to live out for himself, but couldn’t. And Reinerstill thinks of Jean as his antithesis, a lazy guy who cares for no one buthimself. Tragic irony!
Chapter 94. Reiner’s recollection of Jean. Reiner may also be trying to talk himself out of his fondness for Jean.
As toyour third question, I do believe that Jean is aware of the stakes of thattitan war and is still a genuine defeatist in the published manga. Although he is less explicit that he thinks the titans are going to burst through the walls, I think that probability has to be on his mind as he talks about the Cull. It comesthrough pretty clearly to me in his discussion about how humanity doesn’t havea chance.
Chapter3.
Jean issomber here. He’s incredibly clear-sighted, as we learn from other places inthe manga, and he can’t be unaware that if the titans broke through the Wallonce, they could do it again, especially since they outnumber the humans. His statement is a blanket one: humanity doesn’tstand a chance against the titans. They can’t fight them, they can’t outlastthem, and they’ll never be free from their influence. It seems pretty clear tome that Jean is under no illusions about the ultimate fate of humanity in thisworld, and that his decision to make it into the MP is about making the most ofwhat time he has.
Chapter3.
Ialso think this mindset is suggested by his reaction to the titans’ secondappearance in the manga. He asks “Why did it have to be today?”
Chapter4.
Not,“oh shit, they actually came back,” but, “just my luck, it was today, the day I wassupposed to make it to the MP.”
Jeanis horrified and has a visceral reaction to the reappearance of the titans, butit was not entirely unexpected to him. As I said at the beginning of this post,Jean’s defeatism may not be as explicitly expressed as in the draft of thefirst chapter where he essentially says they’re all waiting around to die, butit still seems implicit in the way he frames the titan threat. It’sinsurmountable, it’s coming for them, and when it arrives it’s terrifying, butnot a surprise.
MaybeI’m reading too much into these scenes, but it seems to me that Jeanreally does think the titans are coming, and what he wants is to experience theinterior and make the most out of whatever kind of life he has. Jean is not afool, although Eren often reads him as one; he doesn’t seem to have anyillusions that the titans are going to stay outside Wall Rose, or that humanityis truly safe inside the Walls. Just that the interior is the safest spot within the walls and the highest quality of life available to him.
Hopethis answers you questions about my interpretation, anon! Thanks for the notes:)
#replies#anonymous#jean kirstein#snk meta#maybe I've read the draft into the main manga#but I think it's a supportable reading that jean thinks the titans will come back#he's such a defeatist#and a realist
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A conversation with Toothless | HumanHuman
The name Toothless first appeared on HumanHuman three months ago as a discovery by influential user Daisy Digital. Our community of new music obsessives were drawn in by a refreshing debut single “Terra”, but with next to no information on the artist behind this impressive song, we were equally intrigued to find out more.
What later transpired is that former Bombay Bicycle Club bass player, Ed Nash, had stepped forward from the background to front his own project, Toothless. It was long before this accomplished musician was labelled as a Promising Discovery, and we’ve since enjoyed his soaring second single “Kairos”. We took the opportunity to ask Nash more about his solo effort, why he chose the name Toothless and we also get a rather exciting hint of what’s to come next.
We’ll start off by talking about your debut song “Terra” with that distinctive rhythmic breathing, how did that idea come about for the opening sound?
I was waiting for someone to ask me that, because no one has and I think it’s a really cool sound. We were on tour with Bon Iver towards the end of 2014 and we had four days off in Manchester, which led to debauchery… A terrible time for everyone’s sanity, but I was writing “Terra” at that point, which was the first song I wrote for this record, and I had this idea for breathing that went along with the bass line. I had this microphone attached to my headphones and was listening to my music in this hotel and I just breathed into that. That’s the sound on the record. It was literally recorded on the headphone’s microphone. It sounds so bad.
It does sound kind of crackly...
Yeah! It made it sound cool. You know, if I found a proper microphone or had recorded it properly, it wouldn’t have worked out. You can hear all the clicks and pops from the headphone set. I could have re-recorded it, but I’m glad I left it.
There’s a lot of layered instrumentation going on in “Terra” and it makes it quite eerie at some points, I’m assuming a lot of work went into that?
Why, thank you! Yeah, I put a lot of work into that song especially. It was hard to write and hard to come up with all the sounds. There’s a lot of things, as I was saying with the microphone, that are recorded improperly or badly, which lend themselves to that eerie sound, because they’re quite unusual. Some of the sampling I didn’t do properly, so you can literally hear it going wrong, which is pretty cool. As for the tone of the song, I don’t know. I wasn’t planning for it to be eerie, it just became an eerie song it terms of the chords and melody, but I’m glad that I achieved that end result!
That’s cool though, that you let the song go where it need to go.
I guess you kind of have to. At the beginning, when you’re writing it, you’re pulling something out of thin air, so I guess I was in an eerie mood that day in that hotel in Manchester. [laughs]
Well that’s just one of the atmospheric feelings you get from “Terra”, because it’s also really emotional, is there a particular story behind the song?
There’s a loose story behind the record in that sense. I had this master plan when I was making it, because I didn’t want to write lyrics about my life, as it’s quite settled, so I think it would be quite disinteresting for people to listen to. I live in North London, I’ve played in a successful band, I’m starting another band, I’m good friends with my sister - there’s nothing to moan or whine about! There’s nothing interesting to write about! I came up with this loose theme for the whole record, and “Terra” was meant to be the last track, and it’s about the personification of the sun and the earth - terra being the Latin word for earth. It’s personifying those two things as if they’re having a relationship, so that kind of set the parameters for me, because I didn’t really have anything else to write about.
You said there that your life is quite good at the moment and there isn’t anything to whine about, so does that mean for you that writing needs to come from a place of sadness or not feeling settled?
No, I don’t think it does. Although I don’t think I would be good or articulate at writing happy songs either. I just felt that because my life was in such a stable place, there was nothing to write about. I would either be forcing it, or lying, or people wouldn’t be interested in what I have to say because it’s so mediocre. It would be about living in a flat in North London, even if it’s happy, I don’t think I’d be able to do that very well, so I just made a story up! Everything on this album is based on that loose theme, and it’s changed a lot since then.
I guess it’s a continuing story?
Yeah, and the rest of the story can wait, but that one in particular is about the sun and the earth personified and in a relationship.
The song was remixed by Wayward, how did that come about?
Yeah, Wayward! They’re good friends of mine. We went to the pub and I had two or three beers with them and at the end they were like “why have you asked us to come to the pub?” and I was like “can you listen to this song? Tell me what you think, because I would love for you guys to do a remix. I really like everything else you put out.” Nicely enough of them, they did it.
What was it like to hear that song in an EDM light? It’s very different!
I fucking loved it! They did such a good job. You can hear that they put their time and their heart into it. With a lot of remixes, you send it off and you get something back where you can tell that no one cared and they’re just doing it for the money or for the sake of it. Those guys did it, because they were helping me out and they liked the song. They smashed it! I’m a big fan of Wayward.
Obviously, Wayward are an electronic outfit and a lot of their instruments exist within tech and on laptops, and I was wondering what do you think about the increased digitisation of the music industry as a whole?
It’s fantastic. It’s an amazing thing and I won’t go too far into it because I can only use myself as an example, but I made this record in my living room over the course of a year for very little money. I had a laptop, I bought some software and I made this record. I didn’t go into any fancy studios. I re-did the vocals in Jack Steadman’s studio who also works on a computer, there’s no big mixing desk there, no expensive microphones, none of that.
I really wouldn’t know that listening to your music!
Oh, thank you very much! [laughs] I spent a lot of time trying. Well, that goes to prove my point, you can make those sounds and do all of the things you want on a computer nowadays. The Bombay Bicycle Club record, So Long See You Tomorrow, was made on a laptop. If I can do it, then anyone else can. It opens up all these doors, and you don’t have to have loads of money or be signed to a record label to make an album, to make music. Then because of the Internet, people can hear it. Obviously, there’s inequality everywhere, but it levels to playing field quite a bit. Having a laptop and having access to the time is a huge privilege. As long as you have those things, you can make the music you want and show it to people. It’s far easier now than when I first started making music, which isn’t particularly long ago, maybe ten years. People who are down on that and want to go back to the “good old days”, and although there are good parts of that, are so short-sighted and so dismissive of new, interesting music. You can’t just write something off because it’s new or because it’s made on a laptop, that’s absolutely ridiculous.
I agree, I think so many artists and so many people who work within the industry now owe their career to the Internet.
Oh yeah, completely! I owe my career to the Internet. I’ve made this album on a laptop, and in the past I’ve made albums on a laptop. I couldn’t have done any of that without it. Just using myself as an example, I think it’s fantastic.
Is there a piece of tech or software that has really changed your sound or changed the way you approach music?
There’s a digital audio workshop called Ableton, which I think is absolutely amazing. Ninety percent of the people making electronic music use Ableton. I think it’s the best and it’s what I use. I guess it’s like everyone’s liking their mum’s dinner the best; you’re going to stick to what you know.
You’ve already mentioned your previous project, but do you think it’s important for musicians to evolve, change, move on to new pastures?
Yeah, I think it’s incredibly important, even if you’re still a part of the same band. I can only speak as someone who’s been in a band that’s changed a lot, but it must be incredibly boring making the same record with the same sound every single time, trying to match what you did before. You’ve just got to do what interests you and you’ve got to keep changing and evolving, otherwise what’s the point?
“You’ve just got to do what interests you and you’ve got to keep changing and evolving, otherwise what’s the point?”— Toothless
How does it feel to have your own project and be at the front of that now?
I love it! I’m getting my head round it now, but it was quite daunting to begin with. If this fails, I live or die by it. No one else is to blame, because it’s no one else’s ideas, it’s literally all me. Now, I like it, but it took a while to get there.
How so?
Just the idea of doing something creative and standing behind it, it’s incredibly daunting. People are so quick to criticise nowadays, but they have no idea what it’s like. I can take the criticism, but I think a lot of those people put in the same situation wouldn’t be able to do it. Making something that’s part of them and releasing it into the world. I can’t imagine that most people could, but if they can, then do it!
You speak about criticism then, but how do you think the overall reception has been? I see it as something that’s been really positive!
Oh no, it’s been incredibly positive! I’m so thankful for everyone who has supported it and listened. I was talking more about being apprehensive about doing something creative and putting it out there. Just the idea of making something and letting other people judge it, which I guess is the downside of technology, that people can so easily criticise it in a second or dismiss something that you spent years and years working on.
I think for listeners and bloggers your music happens so quickly for them, it’s however long the track is, even though it’s something you’ve worked on for a long time. They’ll all have their own ways of depicting your sound, but what would you describe it as?
What would I describe it as…? I have no idea! It sound like the ex-bass player of Bombay Bicycle Club sitting in his living room with a laptop.
Wow, that’s quite self-critical!
That’s what it is. I have no idea, I can’t remove myself from it at this stage.
I had a think about what the name Toothless could be, and all I came up with is that stereotypical dream of loosing your teeth which is supposed to hint some kind over anxiety in your life. To avoid further speculation on my part, can you tell me what the meaning behind Toothless is?
It basically goes back to the last point I made, and I was joking when I said that, but there’s this picture by Raymond Petitbon of this cartoon tiger biting a boy’s head, and above the picture it says, “even toothless, she can still bit a boy’s head off.” I saw it years and years ago, and it really stuck with me, the idea that something very unassuming can still be powerful, so it was a nod to that. Most people have said it about this project and about me that they didn’t expect me to do this, so it’s like beating people to the joke. It’s like someone reviewing my music and saying that it’s “toothless”, it doesn’t have a bite, it’s got nothing to it. I guess it’s self-deprecating in a way, but it was getting to the joke before other people could. It doesn’t happen much for the bass player, the person in the background of the band, to step up and do it. It’s partly a joke, and as a word, it looks good. I mean, I was in a band called Bombay Bicycle Club and there was a name like Toothless lying around!
You say that no one expected it, but you’ve been working on the project for a long time, apparently your latest song “Kairos” was six years in the making?
Oh yeah, well until now no one would really know that I made or wrote music. It was quite unexpected I guess for fans of the band. “Kairos”, I wrote that melody at Glastonbury in 2010, so yeah six years ago. I’ve always written music and played in a band, but people’s perception of band’s in general is that if a band breaks up, that’s the end of it, but that’s not always the case.
Yeah, you guys all seem to be doing something now.
Yeah, Surem [de Saram] is here today.
You said that “Kairos” was first written at Glastonbury, and obviously the name means “supreme moment” in Greek, does that link in with playing at Glastonbury or does it come from another time?
Oh no, nothing from that, I didn’t have that much foresight. I just wrote the melody and tune then, but I only wrote the words last year and it’s been lying around since then.
Do you think you’ve had that life peak moment that’s sparked the kairos theme, or is it still something you’re hoping for?
Who knows, that’s kind of the point in it. Tomorrow could be your life peak, or today, or you might have had it a long time ago. You have no idea, and that’s more what I was getting at, which is a fucking terrifying prospect in itself! The fact that you might have had the best time in your life already, and it’s all downhill from there, or is might not be so pessimistic, it might happen tomorrow, it might still yet to happen. I was thinking along those lines and I good way to do it is a favourite day or just one day in time. Yeah, that’s fucking terrifies me that it might have already happened, but I don’t think it has… at least I hope not! [laughs]
So far we’ve discussed the only two songs online at the moment, but what can be expect from the next release? Can we know the name of it?
The next song is called “Palm’s Back Side”. It’s far poppier and more upbeat than what I’ve put out so far. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say this, but I got Marika Hackman to sing on it. She’s fucking badass! She sounds wicked, so it’s very nice of her to come sing on my song. A lovely person with a fantastic voice, so it’s Toothless featuring Marika Hackman, “Palm’s Back Side”.
https://humanhuman.com/articles/interview-toothless
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House Isekai: A Realm Reborn - Part 2, Through the Maelstrom (1 of 3)
House Isekai ARR Masterlist Here
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Client: Hilda Valentin Goneril
Refusing to work with the newly reformed House Isekai due to Class VII, Duvalie takes her orders and storms off to Goneril territory, trying to get home faster. Not wanting to leave Duvalie completely alone, Raelyn and Fireteam Alpha-Nine accompany her.
Reports indicate of a giant serpent-like beast terrorizing the ocean trade routes near Goneril territory, and an unknown entity accompanying it...
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[The Ocular - Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers OST]
Sitri tried to calm herself as Sothis powered three floating crystals in front of her.
They were alone in the Listening chamber, but it was still somewhat nerve-wracking to call the world leaders everytime.
She looked down in slight disappointment of herself. What would Byleth have done...?
(Sothis) “You shouldn’t compare yourself to him, you know.”
Sitri sighed in response.
(Sitri) “Right. I forget you can hear my thoughts...”
(Sothis) “He forgot all the time too, so it isn’t just you. And more importantly, just because you’ve taken his mantle does not mean you have to be exactly him.”
She unsheathed the Sword of the Creator, and it faintly glowed and hummed with her touch.
(Sothis) “The circumstances are completely different and the world has changed, for better and worse. You will be a worthy successor. I promise.”
(Sitri) “...Thank you.”
(Sothis) “We can discuss the rest of this later, for now...”
Sothis snapped her fingers and the crystals sprung to life, radiating a bright blue aura as transparent images of the world leaders began to form.
(Edelgard) “Connection is established here.”
(Dimitri) “Mine as well.”
(Claude) “Eh, pretty sure it’s working. Sitri!”
(Sitri) “Hello, everyone.”
Sitri bowed before clearing her throat.
(Sitri) “Emperor Edelgard, King Dimit-”
(Dimitri) “You do not have to be so formal around us, you know.”
(Claude) “Yeah, you can drop it if it's just us."
(Edelgard) “Hmph. Some professionalism wouldn’t-”
(Dimitri) “Time and place for all things. Now apologies, I did not mean to interrupt.”
Sitri sighed in relief as her shoulders began to relax and she put her hand to her chest.
(Sitri) “In that case, my top students have investigated the Zanado Tower at your request. There were some skirmishes, but nothing serious. We also have found groups from other worlds present. None of which we are familiar with.”
Sothis floated next to her and crossed her arms.
(Sothis) “We called in help from the original House Isekai, but so far only four have responded. Rean, Towa, Kazuma, and Aigis."
(Dimitri) "That is a bit...troubling. I figured more would have come to our request."
(Edelgard) "Troubling, but not surprising. They do have to worry about their own world's well being again after all."
(Claude) "We should be grateful they showed up to begin with. But anyways, there's probably a bit more to the story right?"
Sitri nodded and told the three what had happened inside the Zanado Tower: meeting the new groups and the creatures that had attacked them.
(Sitri) "-...And it seems at least one group is aware of what they are. We plan to hunt them down ourselves, and reinstate House Isekai while doing so."
The three leaders looked surprised after hearing her plan.
(Edelgard) "Hm...An interesting proposal."
(Claude) "A second generation, eh? How are the kids handling the news?"
(Sothis) "So far, we have only selected a handful of the very best the three houses have had to offer. Their reactions are...mixed to say the least."
Dimitri furrowed his brows as he crossed his arms.
(Dimitri) "After what happened during the original's time here, I cannot blame them."
(Edelgard) "Indeed. We are the only ones who know the truth, besides our militaries."
(Sitri) "Despite their problems, I have full confidence that they will come around in time. As head of Garreg Mach, I will see to that myself."
(Claude) "Of that, we have no doubt, Sitri. I am more concerned with how everyone else will take this news..."
Claude sighed as he shook his head.
(Claude) "We're already having problems with getting our people to work together as it is, doubt this is gonna make things any easier."
(Edelgard) "And it is something we will deal with ourselves. Sitri has an important task, and we do not have the luxury of time to drop our political problems on her."
(Sitri) "Worry not, I will make sure everyone is kept in line during their time at Garreg Mach."
(Dimitri) "Then we will pray for your success. We are counting on you."
Dimitri and Edelgard's figure disappeared while Claude remained visible.
(Sothis) "Is something the matter?"
(Claude) "...I think I know how to start this reformation off right..."
=====
House Isekai: A Realm Reborn - Part 2
Through the Maelstrom
[Raise Your Flag - MAN WITH A MISSION]
Raise your flag
With all your voice
With all your voice
Shout it out loud with all your voice
One day
Someday somewhere
Dream on as we wander
Under pressure, you are waiting for direction
Going on the road without your mind
All misleads they give ignoring our decisions
Killing yourself your soul we have inside
Continue the struggle and feel like you're discouraged
Rise up again to run to the end
In between the never-ending dream
We can struggle and muzzle the world before it fades away
Raise your flag
With all your voice
With all your voice
Shout it out loud with all your voice
One day
Someday somewhere
Believing that we will reach that goal
Come on and Raise your flag
So just Raise your flag
No matter how many times we feel defeated or lost
As long as we breathe
As long as we carry on
Dream on as we wander
Chapter 1
One day after the events of Part 1...
[Life at Garreg Mach Monastery - Fire Emblem: Three Houses OST]
Mercedes, Recette, and Tear walked through the hallways of the main building as the bell rang across the Monastery.
Tear was hovering next to Recette looking at a clipboard and looking up at Mercedes.
(Tear) "Let's see, we are to accommodate new student dormitories, supplies, and equipment?"
(Mercedes) "That would be correct."
=====
(Recette) "So what do we do about the giant robot things?"
(Tear) "Knights, Recette. They are called Knights."
(Recette) "But we already have the regular guards called Knights too! Why do we have such confusing terminology?!"
(Mercedes) "Technically speaking, they are Armiger class knights. The real knights we have belong to our military and-"
(Tear) "Regardless, they are to be moved to the new dorm, correct?"
Mercedes giggled seeing Tear obviously annoyed.
(Mercedes) "Apologies, I am only teasing! Yes, they will be."
The three walked down the stairs as a mixture of students and guards passed them by.
After waiting for them to pass, they made their way towards the student dorms.
(Recette) "So...what is House Isekai like?"
(Tear) "I have been rather curious myself. Sitri speaks of them in high regard, as do you."
Mercedes looked up to the skies, reminiscing her time with the original House Isekai.
(Mercedes) "They were quite the odd group of people, of all sorts of origins and personalities. Many of their technologies and fighting styles varied wildly, some familiar to us while some were...well, otherworldly."
She had a smile on her face, though there was a tinge of sadness to it.
(Mercedes) "They weren't always the kindest, charming or...well, even the best people but...they cared for us and Fodlan. Even when some of their own perished, they continued to fight for us. I wish the circumstances of our meeting had not been so tragic..."
Recette and Tear remained silent as Mercedes had stopped walking, still staring into the skies.
(Mercedes) "...Oh, pardon me! I was spacing out, let us keep moving!"
...
Astrid was the last person to walk into the group.
The chosen Garreg Mach students were waiting near their rooms with bags in hand.
(Astrid) "Oh crap, are we already going?!"
(Kairos) "They let us know last night, did you already forget?"
(Helena) "Obviously."
Astrid stuffed the food she was carrying into her mouth as she dashed into her room, hastily grabbing her belongings.
(Elizabeth) "It amazes me how airheaded she can be..."
(Stefan) "Being honest, I almost did the same thing..."
(Elizabeth) sigh "Of course you did. We cannot afford to slipping up like this! We are supposed to represent our classes as the best of the best!"
Helena shrugged nonchalantly.
(Helena) "Think that's just you. Everyone knows how I act and yet I'm here."
(Elizabeth) "Yes yes dear, we know you just nap away all the ti-"
(Kairos) "Gods above, can you quit your whining?"
(Elizabeth) "When you all get your act together, then I will!"
Kairos and Elizabeth stepped toward each other, and before their argument could heat up, Stefan stepped in.
(Stefan) "Come on guys, knock it off."
Astrid ran back out with her bags hastily strapped over her back, completely out of breath.
(Astrid) "Whew, made it!"
(Helena) "Good job."
Helena rolled her eyes hearing Kairos and Elizabeth's shouting get louder, and saw Mercedes, Recettte, and Tear approaching them.
(Mercedes) "Afternoon! Is something the matter?"
Kairos and Elizabeth finally backed down and cleared their throats.
(Stefan) "Not anymore."
(Recette) "Yayness! Now, let's get going!"
(Tear) "Right this way."
The group began to move towards the former Cathedral, Mercedes in front.
The Cathedral turned into a hangar for the Knights to walk in and out of, alongside receiving and shipping supplies provided by the three nations.
Mercedes frowned a little upon arriving. She had honestly never gotten used to being around these things. They went from mere prototypes to deployed all over the continent in only a year.
Something wasn't right about all of this technology they had been getting either...
Her daydream was interrupted when a guard cleared their throat.
(Imperial Knight) "Ma'am?"
(Mercedes) "Oh, sorry. We are here to check in with the new arrivals."
(Imperial Knight) "Understood. You'll find them in the war room."
...
[Spider Web - Fire Emblem: Three Houses OST]
Rean looked around the room, barely able to recognize it.
This room was previously dedicated to the four saints during his time in Fodlan, now it was converted to some kind of information center.
There was a table made of crystal in the middle, displaying all sorts of semi-transparent text and images.
Towa appeared to be thinking the same thing as she was unable to tear her eyes off the table.
Rean sighed and finally turned behind him, the students of Class VII all looking around as well.
(Rean) "What are you guys doing here?"
His question caught their attention, making everyone turn to face him.
(Juna) "Us? What about you and Instructor Towa?! You guys are acting as if this is all normal!"
(Altina) "Observations have shown that you have reacted with little surprise."
(Towa) "Well, to make a long story short, we have been here before under some...strange circumstances. But how did you guys even get in here?"
(Ash) "Valimar let us in that portal or whatever the hell you guys walked through."
(Rean) "He what?!"
Rean had to calm down for a moment, and sighed again.
(Rean) "Guess I'll be speaking to him about tha-...Wait..."
(Kurt) "Instructor?"
(Rean) "When Valimar teleported us in, we all arrived at the top of the Tower. Why were you all teleported at the bottom...?"
(Musse) "Huh. That's weird."
(Towa) "There shouldn't be anything messing with the Tower from Fodlan's end, right?"
(Rean) "Hard to say, honestly. If those other groups got here, then something must be wrong."
(Kurt) "...Instructor, if I may?"
(Rean) "Hm? Go ahead, Kurt."
(Kurt) "I wish to accompany you here."
(Everyone) ?!
(Rean) "No. Out of the question. You all need to-"
(Juna) "Hey, you're our instructor, right? Then that means you have to watch over us, not go into some weird freaking dimension for goddess knows how long!"
(Ash) "Besides, we'd miss all the fun!"
(Musse) "And you, Instructor~-"
(Altina) "And potential training that could enhance our abilities."
(Rean) "..."
(Towa) "Well, time is very unpredictable here. The last time we were stuck here, only a few minutes passed by in our world while years went by in here. Who knows what could happen this time?"
Rean silently stared at Class VII, not knowing what to do.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
(Kingdom Knight) "Pardon sir, Mercedes is here."
(Rean) "Let her through."
Mercedes opened the door and her group came in, Class VII stepping aside to make room.
(Mercedes) "Good afternoon, everyone!"
(Towa) "Hello, Mercedes!"
(Rean) "I see you got the students and...who's that?"
Recette and Tear stepped forward, Recette excitedly waving as Tear adjusted her glasses as she floated next to her.
(Recette) "Hiya! I'm Recette, and that's Tear! We run a shop and helping fund Garreg Mach's reconstruction!"
Class VII looked at each other awkwardly, not sure how to make of that. She looked even younger than Altina, how could she run a shop?
(Kairos) "Trust us, she's telling the truth. We thought the exact same thing when we first met them."
(Kurt) "...Noted."
(Tear) "I am her...friend. It is a pleasure to meet members of House Isekai. I have been told many things about you all."
(Recette) "We'll have everyone's new dorms up soon and a lot of information to share, but we wanna get everyone together first! Do you know where your friends are?"
(Rean) "They're downstairs I think. At least that's what Aigis told us."
(Towa) "The tomb?"
(Mercedes) "Ah yes, that is where we have our new supply depot. Any excess supplies that cannot be brought up are taken down below, alongside extra knight suits."
(Tear) "It would be best to reunite with your friends before we continue talking. I am sure you all have many questions."
Class VII followed the group out, and went down the stairs and into the depot.
...
Workers moved back and forth, carrying varying sizes of crates into organized areas, with Knights being brought in by horseback on giant wooden platforms.
Knight suits were also moving around massive cargo filled with all kinds of armor and weapons, the sound of gears moving and workers shouting.
Kazuma still struggled to process everything he was seeing.
(Kazuma) "Where the hell was all this when we were travelling around Fodlan?!"
(Aigis) "They most likely developed this while we were away. While some aspects of their technology is primitive compared to ours, we cannot deny the amount of progress since we last saw them."
(Kazuma) "Primitive? They have giant god damn robots! That's WAY more than what Earth has!"
Kazuma turned to the other groups who were not standing too far away.
(Kazuma) "And speaking of..."
Kazuma and Aigis looked at the group of soldiers who called themselves ODST's.
Their weapons appeared to use conventional bullets, but their armor was far more advanced than the military had on Earth during their time.
One ODST named "Mickey" was doing something to his helmet, repeatedly tapping its side.
(Buck) "Anything?"
(Mickey) "Not a single thing. No comms, not from UNSC or Covenant. Whatever's going on here, it's completely cut us off from our world."
(Romeo) "That's just great..."
(Dutch) "How do we get back?"
(Mickey) "I'm thinking..."
(Kazuma) "...Feels weird having actual soldiers here."
(Aigis) "Agreed. We are lucky to have been accustomed to Fodlan during our last stay."
Aigis turned her attention to the one soldier in massive yelllow armor, quietly watching everything around him.
(Raelyn) "..."
(Aigis) "I am unfamiliar with him. He appears to be aware of Earth and humanity, but what he is wearing is both extremely advanced and archaic, technologically speaking."
(Kazuma) "Is he even human? Dude looks like a gorilla in ceramite."
(Aigis) "Further data is required to make a proper assessment."
Aigis's eyes glanced over to Duvalie, who was pacing back and forth near the last group, calling themselves the "Knights of Favonius".
Aigis couldn't tell what she was saying, but she definitely knew she was cursing under her breath. She didn't seem terribly confused about what was happening, but it seemed like her appearance here was more like a major inconvenience.
Of all groups however, the Knights of Favonius appeared to be the least phased.
(Jean) "Hopefully the knights will be fine without us..."
(Lisa) "Relax dear, they'll be okay. I doubt too much will happen, we have people like Albedo in their care."
(Amber) "Is anyone gonna be watching over Klee?"
Jean suddenly grew pale.
(Kaeya) "Easy now Amber, don't give her a heart attack."
(Diluc) "We can't leave anyway. Abyss Mages got to this world and it's our job to get rid of them."
(Venti) "Yeah, whatever their plans are, we're gonna stop them!"
(Kazuma) "...Least someone knows what the hell those things were."
Aigis was about to say more until she saw Mercedes and the others walking down the stairs.
(Aigis) "They are here, Kazuma."
(Kazuma) "About time."
Kazuma whistled and caught the groups' attention, everyone going up to meet them.
(Rean) "Everyone here?"
(Jean) "It appears so."
(Buck) "Anyone gonna bother to explain what in the hell's goin' on here?"
(Towa) "Well to put it shortly: you've all come from your worlds to Fodlan, just like we have."
(Duvalie) "Why was it US, though?"
(Kazuma) "Hell if we know. To be honest, our groups showed up here by pure chance."
(Aigis) "There was no clear reason for us, but I suspect something may be different in your cases."
(Buck) "How long are we going to be here? We were in the middle of fighting a war back home!"
(Rean) "That's...not easy to answer. We were technically here for 6 years, yet only a few minutes passed in my world."
Many of the members looked at each other, unsure of how to process this news.
(Mercedes) "Whatever the case, we'll make sure everyone gets back! You're all part of House Isekai now!"
(Lisa) "Might I ask what this "House Isekai" means to this world? It seems very obvious that this title is held in high regard."
(Kairos) "To some anyway..."
(Stefan) "C-Come on now, Kairos. We can at least give them a chance!"
Rean made a mental note to ask Mercedes about the students later. They obviously did not like House Isekai's presence.
He was getting some unpleasant flashbacks to when his country occupied another, with similar reactions.
(Towa) *ahem* House Isekai was formed under Garreg Mach Monastery as a way to unite everyone from different worlds. The original House had people from all sorts of backgrounds working together, and we saved this world and ours from certain destruction."
(Kurt) "Had it not been for us visiting here, I am not sure we would have believed any of this."
(Aigis) "...If memory serves correctly, you and the other members of Class VII were involved during the Towers forming in every world."
(Juna) "Uhh...Think we would've remembered something like that happening."
(Ash) "Doesn't ring a bell."
(Towa) "We came face to face with them during the assault on the Zanado Tower. What...?-"
(Duvalie) "Bah, history lesson later! What are we even doing down here anyway?"
(Mercedes) "Well, we came down here to inform you that your dorms were soon to be finished!"
(Tear) "We only ask for a bit more patience. The transfer of resources to these new rooms was quite sudden."
(Elizabeth) "And what are we to do in the meantime?"
(Sitri's Voice) "Your first assignment."
Sitri walked up to the group, holding her sword's sheathe.
(Sitri) "Our first assignment has been given to us by Claude."
She turned to the Knights of Favonius.
(Sitri) "You said that you were familiar with the creatures invading our world, yes?"
(Diluc) "Abyss Mages. They were supposed to be our problem, so sorry that you all had to get involved."
(Raelyn) "If they are a threat to humanity, then it is our job to purge these witches."
(Sitri) "Claude has given us a report from House Goneril and House Edmund that these creatures and other objects were spotted within their territories. It is our job as House Isekai to take care of this offworld threat."
(Kazuma) "From classroom to full on hit squad, eh? Guess that was bound to happen at some point."
(Rean) "Not the first time anyway..."
(Duvalie) "OOOOH, NO."
Everyone turned to Duvalie.
(Duvalie) "I am NOT working with you all! I am perfectly fine of doing this on my own!"
(Ash) "Psh. Feeling's mutual."
(Rean) "Come on now, this is something you can't tackle alone. Even you."
(Duvalie) "S-SHUT UP, SCHWARZER!"
She stomped towards Sitri and grabbed a letter at random, pointing a finger at her.
(Duvalie) "I'll cooperate but you will NOT make me work with them! I'll be done with this faster than a big group!"
(Jean) "...Being fair for just a moment, it would be beneficial for some of our members to split up. The threats could be eliminated faster."
(Venti) "I'd be happy to help out with-"
(Duvalie) "NO. DEFINITELY NOT YOU."
(Kazuma) "Holy hell, would you quit whining?! Why does every person I meet that calls themselves a knight always act so entitled?"
(Helena) "I'm very sure that will get her calmed down."
Duvalie looked like she was about to pop a vein before Buck stepped in.
(Buck) "Alright everyone, stand down. How about this? You just tell us what we need to know about these guys, and we'll go put a few bullets in their heads."
(Mickey) "If bullets even work on them-"
(Raelyn) "From the one I encountered, a single Bolter round will do just fine."
(Lisa) "If it means less fighting, then there's no harm. Duvalie dear, do be careful at least?"
(Duvalie) "O-Of course, Miss Lisa!"
(Aigis) "That was a very fast change in attitude-"
(Rean) "You get used to it."
(Towa) "I suppose we'll just meet and explain everything more in detail later?"
A portal opened up behind Duvalie and she jumped straight through before anyone could stop her.
(Buck) "Tch, damn it. Didn't even ask about the mages. Whatever, which one of you knows the most about them?"
Kaeya raised his hand with a coy smile while Diluc nodded.
(Raelyn) "I will accompany her to ensure their survival. Until then, House Isekai."
Raelyn turned to the portal and walked through it.
After getting the minimum knowledge required about the Abyss Mages, Buck and his squad followed her through the portal.
(Kazuma) "...Wait a second, none of them knows anything about Fodlan. Why did we let them go anywhere alone?"
(Sitri) "...That's a good question."
[TO BE CONTINUED]
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March 26: Redeeming the Time
Redeeming the TimeMarch 26, 2020
Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. — Colossians 4:5
When a Christian has done something so unethical or revolting that it discredits the testimony of Jesus Christ in front of unbelievers who are watching, that Christian has a responsibility to do what is necessary to “redeem the time” and consequently regain his testimony. It is absolutely vital that he make things right with those individuals. It may be necessary for that Christian to swallow his pride, admit he did something wrong, and apologize so that he can restore his testimony.
If you are the one who has done something wrong and have thereby marred your testimony, it’s not too late for you to turn your testimony around! Thank God, the apostle Paul told us that we can “walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time” (Colossians 4:5).
The word “redeem” is from the Greek word exagoridzo, and it is the old Greek word used to depict someone purchasing a slave out of the slave market. The word exagoridzo is a compound of the words ex and agoridzo. The word ex is a preposition that means out, and agoridzo is the Greek word most notably used to describe the slave market — a disgusting place where human beings were bought, sold, and traded like animals. This market was officially called the agora, and from this, we get this Greek word agoridzo.
*[If you started reading this from your email, begin reading here.]
When these words ex and agoridzo are compounded to form the word exagoridzo, it pictures a buyer who has gone to the market to purchase a slave so he can set free and restore him to the freedom he formerly possessed. Therefore, the word exagoridzo — translated as the word “redemption” in the King James Version — actually pictures permanently removing a slave from slavery in order to return him to the status of freedom he enjoyed before he was enslaved.
But in Colossians 4:5, the word exagoridzo isn’t used in its normal sense to describe redemption from sin. Instead, the apostle Paul used it in the phrase “redeeming the time.” This means time that is lost can be redeemed! If you are willing to do whatever is needed to make it happen, God will enable you to regain and recoup time that was previously squandered. He can give you another opportunity that is so wonderful that it makes up for what you previously lost!
In fact, when Paul wrote of “redeeming the time,” the word “time” is the Greek word kairos, which would be better translated as the word opportunity. This means God will help you recoup, recover, regain, and retrieve lost time and opportunities!
One way that this phrase could be paraphrased is to buy back time. Considering that the word “redemption” (exagoridzo) is used here, an expanded interpretation of this phrase “redeeming the time” could read: “Do everything you can to make up for lost territory! Buy up all the time you can and make the most of every opportunity.”
Can you think of opportunities you have lost along the way in life?
Have you ever squandered an opportunity that God tried to set before you?
Did God try to increase you, but as a result of negligence on your part, the increase went to someone else?
Can you think of a possibility that God designed to be yours, but it never happened because you were too lazy to put forth the effort to make it happen?
Did you lose opportunities to enjoy your children when they were younger because you didn’t take advantage of the time you were given to be with them?
Have you forfeited your testimony in front of non-Christians because you did something unethical or ugly in front of them?
The truth is, we’ve all lost opportunities along the way in life for various reasons. Some of it was due to our own stupidity or ignorance. Some of it was due to hardships or difficulties in life that prevented us from doing what we wanted to do. But regardless of the reason, Paul told us that if we’re willing to go the distance to do whatever is necessary to “redeem time,” we can turn things around and end up with a lot of brand-new, wonderful opportunities that make up for any lost or wasted time in your past. I can hear the Holy Spirit crying out to us, “Do everything you can to make up for lost territory! I’ll enable you to buy up all the time you can and make the most of every opportunity.”
This brings us back to the subject of your influence on non-Christians. If you have damaged your testimony for some reason in front of non-Christians, that is truly unfortunate. Losing influence as a result of a lack of integrity or bad behavior will hinder your ability to represent Christ to the people around you. However, with God’s grace, even this can be changed and turned around. If you are willing to do whatever is necessary to achieve it, He will help you redeem that lost time and damaged testimony.
For you to redeem the time and recover your testimony, God may require that you apologize to someone, admit you were wrong, or perhaps make a correction in some area of your life. If you are willing to swallow your pride and to do what is right, God will miraculously enable you to buy back a lot of missed opportunities and recover a testimony that had been lost.
Time is precious — and it is a fact that you cannot turn the clock back. Time, once you spend it, is gone. But if you are willing to repent and put forth the effort to correct your mistakes, God’s grace will go a long way in enabling you to buy back a lot of time, opportunity, territory, or testimony that you previously lost. The Holy Spirit can, and will, help you “redeem the time.”
The last part of Colossians 4:5 could read:
“Do everything you can to make up for lost territory! Make the most of every moment you have right now, and do everything you can to recover those precious moments and opportunities that you thought were lost forever.”
By choosing to repent, we are able to buy back our testimony and once again begin to make a right impression on the non-Christians we may have negatively influenced with our wrong actions in the past.
We must never forget that people are watching us! They see our walk; they hear our talk; and they notice what we say and what we do. We must live our lives wisely and prudently, especially for the sake of the non-Christians who are observing what we say and how we act. Time is a sacred and precious commodity that we must use carefully and not waste.
If you have damaged your witness, now is the time to let the Holy Spirit help you turn your testimony around so you can represent Jesus with honor before the unbelievers who are watching you!
MY PRAYER FOR TODAY
Lord, I ask You to help me make up for time and opportunities I lost or wasted along the way in my life. You have been so good to give me many possibilities for success, to witness, and to advance in life, but I have not taken advantage of everything You have tried to give me. Please forgive me for not being more serious or thoughtful in the past. I ask You for wisdom to know what I need to do to regain the things I’ve lost. Without You, I know that lost opportunities are gone forever; but with Your grace helping me, I can regain the things I lost and buy back the time I squandered. Thank You for helping me as I set my heart to do the things that will enable me to recoup what I lost earlier in my life.
I pray this in Jesus’ name!
MY CONFESSION FOR TODAY
I confess that God can miraculously help me regain time and opportunities that I lost or squandered in the past. Because I am repentant and willing to do whatever I must to make it happen, God is helping me recapture moments, open doors, possibilities, and relationships that seemed forever lost. Time is spent and the clock cannot be turned back, but God’s grace is so powerful that it will give me a new opportunity to do what is right. This time, I’ll not fail, for I am determined to please Jesus Christ with my life!
I declare this by faith in Jesus’ name!
QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO CONSIDER
Can you think of opportunities that God planned just for you, but for some reason, you forfeited those opportunities and they passed to someone else?
It may be painful to remember, but can you think of a time when you should have been a beacon of light to a non-Christian, but because you did something that was wrong, you lost your witness with that person?
To recapture those lost opportunities, what do you need to do? What correction do you need to make? What apology do you need to make to someone? What changes are required for you to recover your testimony and regain an opportunity to be an example of Jesus Christ to those who are watching you?
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Shattered Vows: Love, Lies & Consequences Book 3 by Natasha D. Frazier
Rico gambled with his marriage when he cheated on Chloe. Breaking his vows and risking everything for temporary pleasure, he lost his wife’s respect and trust.
Rico returns to God, searching for a quick fix to win Chloe’s heart back, but his heart is the one that is changed. He is a self-proclaimed changed man, willing to go the extra mile to restore his marriage, but he just may be too late.
Has Chloe given up on him? She has forgiven him before, but this is different. “I’m sorry” isn’t enough when vows have been shattered. With the law and the Word of the Lord on her side, she finally gathers enough courage to walk away.
But then tragedy strikes. Is it enough to make Chloe stay, or will she start a new chapter in her life?
Listen to a reading from Shattered Vows: Love, Lies & Consequences: https://www.audioacrobat.com/note/CPR8L6bk
REVIEWS – SHATTERED VOWS (LOVE, LIES & CONSEQUENCES BOOK 3)
“With this being book 3 in the series, the book definitely kept your attention. There was a great balance of happy, sad & keeping God involved in your decisions. I like the way author takes us through the view of both husband & wife.”
“Loved the interwoven storylines and how everyone seemed to learn from their mistakes. The way forgiveness is expressed is inspiring.”
“It is tough to read books that end the way Shattered Vows ended. When we pray for God’s help, we must trust that His ways are greater than our ways. I am truly convinced that it is nothing but the love of God that gets us through the tough times. The love of God is what caused each character to have a heart of forgiveness. Thank you Natasha for sharing the love of God through your writing.”
EXCERPT: SHATTERED VOWS (LOVE, LIES & CONSEQUENCES BOOK 3)
“I want my wife back,” Rico said after careful contemplation of his question.
“Umm hmm. Well seeking direction from God is definitely the best start, but much is going to be required of you; so let’s start from the beginning. Tell me what happened. What is it that brought you to this place? Your wife leaving you and all. And please tell the entire truth. These sessions will only work if you’re honest,” Pastor Lewis reminded Rico.
Rico leaned back in his seat, blew out a chestful of pent-up air, rubbed his hands along his pants and thought for a moment. Sessions? Plural? He had been hopeful that he would get his answer today, but he was more than desperate, so he was willing to do everything it would take to start anew with his wife.
“Long story short, I met this woman who was absolutely breathtaking. I took her out a few times, talked to her on the phone repeatedly and I began to fall for her. She seemed so perfect. When I realized what I was getting myself into, I ended it. But I guess it was too late because she ended up pregnant with my baby,” Rico shared shamefully.
Pastor Lewis studied him for a moment. He noticed Rico’s eyes were lit up when speaking of this woman and that concerned him. He jotted down some notes on a pad.
“What compelled you to start seeing her even though you were married?”
“Man, I mean, sir, I don’t even know. It was never supposed to go so far. It was casual at first, but she became serious.”
“Wait one moment. I am a pastor but I’m also a man. So you and I both know that if she was becoming serious, you were giving her a reason to be. Did you tell her you loved her? That you would leave your wife and marry her? What was it?”
Rico shook his head at the thought of everything he’d told Raegan. It felt awkward to share those things with the pastor. Actually telling someone everything he did made him feel dirty, because he knew he was wrong. He didn’t want the pastor to think of him as some dirty womanizer, because that wasn’t who he was. He was just a guy who got caught up in the moment, in his opinion.
“She didn’t know I was married; I never told her,” Rico admitted, averting his eyes from the pastor’s gaze. He didn’t want to see the look on his face. He was certain it would be disapproving. “Like I said, it was never supposed to go that far. I told her I loved her and that I could see us having a future together,” Rico told a half-truth. He felt terrible about lying to the pastor, but he couldn’t bring himself to say that he told Raegan that she would one day be his wife when he was already married.
Pastor Lewis had had these types of sessions many times and he knew that Rico wasn’t being completely honest with him.
“So how did she find out you were married? How did your wife find out about her?” Pastor Lewis continued to question. Not much of that was important, but he wanted to see just how honest Rico would be and how serious he was about getting his wife back.
“I left my phone at home one day when she called. My wife answered it. I had her name saved under an alias,” Rico recounted. The more he talked about it, the worse it sounded. If he were in Chloe’s shoes, he didn’t know if he would take him back.
“The baby?”
“She lost the baby but before she did, I signed over my parental rights, hoping that would help smooth things over with Chloe. Hoping we could get past it,” Rico explained, remembering the pain both from signing over his rights and his wife telling him that the baby didn’t make it.
Pastor Lewis placed his pen on the notepad, locked his fingers together and rested his forehead against them for a moment. His head was starting to hurt from the drama that Rico had in his life. He took a moment to silently pray for guidance. When he finished, he rested his clasped hands on his desk.
“Tell me this. What was it you felt was missing in your marriage that you had to seek companionship elsewhere?”
Rico could have talked about the fact that Chloe worked a lot and attempted to shift the blame to her being away, but that wasn’t it. The fact that Chloe wasn’t there gave him the opportunity. He could have admired Raegan from afar and kept moving. He didn’t have to seek her out on Facebook. He didn’t have to ask her out. He wasn’t sure why he did it, and he told the pastor so. What he needed now was for the pastor to tell him how to fix it and to stop asking all of these questions.
“I don’t mean no harm, Pastor, but I need you to tell me how to get my wife back. Don’t you have some type of Scripture in your arsenal for situations like this?” Rico got straight to the point. He felt like he was getting nowhere fast with the pastor’s line of questioning.
“Son, what you need is Jesus.”
( Continued… )
© 2017 All rights reserved. Book excerpt reprinted by permission of the author, Natasha Frazier. Do not reproduce, copy or use without the author’s written permission. This excerpt is used for promotional purposes only.
Purchase Shattered Vows: Love, Lies & Consequences by Natasha Frazier Book 3 in Love, Lies & Consequences Series. Genre: Christian Fiction Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MZ5IQMR
About the Author Natasha D. Frazier accepted the call to write in 2011. Since then, Natasha has authored three devotional books. Her first book is The Life Your Spirit Craves, a 30-Day devotional and journal that encourages readers to seek, accept and pursue their God-given assignment. Her second book, Not Without You: 365 Days in the Lord’s Presence, encourages readers to make devotion a part of their everyday life by seeking God daily through prayer and reading His Holy Word. Not Without You has been nominated for the Henri Award. The Henri Award recognizes excellence in Christian literature.
The Life Your Spirit Craves for Mommies is a 52 week devotional for mothers that encourages them to see God at work in their lives through their role as a mother. Both devotionals in The Life Your Spirit Craves series won the Readers’ Choice Award presented at the Christian Literary Awards.
Natasha is also the author of the Love, Lies & Consequences, Christian-fiction series that focuses on real and relevant issues in today’s society, such as pre-marital sex, adultery, blended families and more! Currently, the series contains three published titles: Love, Lies & Consequences, Through Thick & Thin, and Shattered Vows. She is also the author of How Long Are You Going to Wait andKairos: The Perfect Time for Love.
Natasha D. Frazier resides in Houston, TX metro area with her husband, Eddie Frazier, Jr. and their three children, Eden, Ethan, and Emilyn. Her greatest joy and commitment is to her family who she hopes to inspire above all else. One of her many mottos in life is: Faith removes limitations.
Natasha and her family are members of Higher Dimension Church in Houston, TX. Natasha is also a member of the Houston Area Alumni Chapter of Jackson State University and Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.
Kairos: The Perfect Time for Love by Natasha D. Frazier
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens….Ecclesiastes 3:1
Kensi Jacobson believed in that truth with all of her heart, but when she’s up for a promotion for her dream job as assistant editor-in-chief of The Big Apple Chronicle, she hits a roadblock. She put in the work and trusted God for what she believed was her season of elevation, but her boss’ idea of a promotion was to send her to Pepperton, TX for another assignment.
This new assignment pairs her up with a handsome widower, Darren Shaw, who helps her learn that delay and disappointment can sometimes become a catalyst for something greater. Seemingly burdened with the fact that she is the only one in her circle who isn’t married with children and a career that isn’t headed in the direction she planned, she begins to wonder when her time and season are coming. Will Kensi learn that Kairos – God’s perfect timing, is much more powerful than Chronos – her chronological timetable, and trust that things will fall into place at the right time? What begins as a crush to her ego and life plan may become the perfect time for love and everything else she’s wanted.
Listen to a spectacular author’s interview and reading from Kairos: The Perfect Time for Love by Natasha D. Frazier http://www.audioacrobat.com/note/CC3dfW3X
REVIEWS – KAIROS: THE PERFECT TIME FOR LOVE
“I was a happy camper reading “Kairos: The Perfect Time for Love” by Natasha D Frazier. Kensi Jacobson had her life all planned. But, God knows what we need even before we do. To that end, He arranges situations to let us know, He only gives good gifts. This love story was a great reminder of that.
The characters in this story faced real-life issues. I must say, the Jacobson family was off-the-chain, especially Mama Marie Jacobson. This lady had me laughing aloud as I read. Thank God, Darren was a praying man and understood what he was up against. I enjoyed how the author chronicled Kensi and Darren’s love story.
This story was well written and the author’s writing style was fluid and impactful. Thanks for a good read, author Natasha D. Frazier. Grab your copy. ”
“I loved the story of Kensi and Darren! A true testament of God’s timing and God’s purpose. God always open doors for us as part of His will for our lives. Sometimes our faith is definitely tested. We tend to get so comfortable and think that we get tired of waiting but that may not be the plan for us. Kensi found that out in her quest on the love train but in the end Darren and her found each other at the perfect time! The music selections throughout helped fit the scenes perfectly. Definitely gets a five star rating from me!”
“I was captivated by the storyline in this book from the beginning to the end. I did not want the story to end! Even though the book was fiction, everything seemed so real as I was reading. Natasha was so descriptive with some of the key details that I felt that I was actually there with the characters. I have read one other book by Natasha and can’t wait to read the next one!”
EXCERPT – KAIROS: THE PERFECT TIME FOR LOVE
“So we have to agree that there are certain things that only women can do. I don’t think that women should be silent or anything like that. We all have a role to play, we just need to know what it is. So what are your thoughts when it comes to submission in marriage?”
Is everyone going to interview me over dinner? Kensi wondered, because that surely felt like an interview question.
Just then the waitress appeared and took their orders. When she left, Kensi answered his question.
“All right, so you want to know what I think about submission. Great question. I think that as long as a husband is following God, and by that I mean living according to God’s Word and doing what he’s supposed to do, as his wife, I could easily respect and submit to him. Now if he isn’t handling things the way he should, I’m not sure how I would respond in such a situation. But I do agree with the principle. In every organization, someone has to be the leader and I don’t think it should be any different in the household. What are your thoughts?”
“Hmm,” Darren moaned and nodded. He liked what he heard.
“That’s not an answer.”
“Sorry, I was just thinking about what you said. I think that men were created to lead. God created Adam first and gave him charge over every living thing before He created Eve. I think that husbands and wives should run their households together, but the ultimate responsibility rests with the husband to do what God calls men to do: Obey Him and love their wives as Christ loves the church.”
The waitress returned with their food. At the interruption, Darren reached across the table for Kensi’s hand and prayed over their food.
Kensi thought he looked even more handsome, seeing as though he appeared to be a man after God’s heart. She was happy that their evening didn’t turn out to be about work. She was enjoying their conversation and becoming even more intrigued by him.
As they continued their talk about their beliefs and careers, Darren was in total awe of the woman sitting before him. To meet a godly woman who was beautiful, confident and driven was a treat for him. He’d been so caught up with work and what he’d lost in Jessica that he hadn’t even allowed himself to look at anyone in a romantic way before now. Kensi could be the perfect woman for him, except that she was only there temporarily and moving to Pepperton seemed to be the farthest thing from her mind.
( Continued… )
© 2018 All rights reserved. Book excerpt reprinted by permission of the author, Natasha Frazier. Do not reproduce, copy or use without the author’s written permission. This excerpt is used for promotional purposes only.
Kairos: The Perfect Time for Love by Natasha D. Frazier
Download from Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B079H691LM
About the Author Natasha D. Frazier penned the award-winning Love, Lies & Consequences series, along with several devotions and other fiction titles. She hopes that her writings will inspire readers to become all they were created to be and encourage them in their daily walk with God. Whether devotional or fictional, she desires to leave a legacy to inspire readers to take their lives to the next level.
Born and raised in Greenville, MS, Natasha graduated magna cum laude from Jackson State University with a Bachelors of Business Administration in Accounting and from Texas A&M University with a Masters of Science in Accounting. Natasha has since earned her CPA license and worked in both public accounting and the federal government. Natasha is a proud member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. and the Houston Area Alumni Chapter of Jackson State University. Natasha currently serves as a pre-k small group leader at Parkway Fellowship Church.
Natasha resides in Richmond, TX with her husband, Eddie and their three children.
Natasha D. Frazier, Author of: The Life Your Spirit Craves Not Without You Love, Lies & Consequences Through Thick & Thin: Love, Lies & Consequences Book 2 The Life Your Spirit Craves for Mommies Shattered Vows: Love, Lies & Consequences Book 3 How Long Are You Going to Wait? Kairos: The Perfect Time for Love
Frazier Website: https://www.natashafrazier.com
Natasha Frazier books are available on Kindle too: http://amzn.to/2nwNhG4
Books by Natasha D. Frazier Shattered Vows: Love, Lies & Consequences Book 3 by Natasha D. Frazier Rico gambled with his marriage when he cheated on Chloe.
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Journey Together: Toward Inclusive and Affirming Ministry
Neill’s reflection on the ecumenical consultation on gender and sexuality facilitated by the National Council of Churches of Korea. May 17-18 2018.
(Neill Ballantyne in the middle is from SCM Aotearoa and the WSCF AP representative to the WSCF’s IDD Working Group)
After two days of exploring Seoul our consultation began with worship and speeches. As the task before us was outlined we were informed that this was a secret meeting and that we should avoid sharing about it until we were finished. It was explained to us that the last time NCCK tried to hold a public forum on the issue, 300 protesters arrived and stormed their headquarters. Police had to be called in order to protect the speakers and staff. This statement highlighted the importance of our task and need for change within the churches of Korea, as well as wider society.
We were joined by 30 Korean participants and 14 international delegates from 10 different countries. We were selected because we had been involved in progressive change in our contexts and could bring these stories to Korea to share with those who attended. The NCCK recognise that this is an issue which is only just coming into the light in Korea, and they want to be well equipped to support their church members to have constructive conversations on these topics.
Mostly we spent the two days listening to each other’s experiences. Many of the international delegates were part of the LGBTIAQ community, or were close allies. We talked about what it is like to learn about our identities, what it is like to come out of the closet, what it is like to belong to churches which discriminate against us, and what it is like to find churches who love and affirm us for all that we are.
One of the most moving stories was shared by John Ryan Mendoza of the National Council of Churches in the Philippines. He shared his story of surviving sexual assault, of contracting and living with HIV, of coming out and being disowned by family, and finally of becoming a trained nurse and starting a programme with NCCP which educates groups on HIV prevention and treatment. He is a living testament to his faith and belief in transforming communities.
And so we prayed together, laughed together, and cried together. All of this led to the formulation of a statement and action plan; a commitment to honour the gifts of stories with concrete action towards inclusion of LGBTIAQ minorities. This statement begins with the following words:
God’s dream is for church communities that are welcoming and affirming of all God’s people. In making God’s dream a reality it is necessary that all forms of discrimination, hate and exclusion be eliminated. Recognizing that Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) individuals and communities are among those who are the most discriminated around the world, it is important to discern how churches and societies can work together to live God’s dream of welcome.
It commits the NCCK to three urgent tasks:
1) Advocating for LGBTIAQ minorities within civil society by opposing discriminatory laws and supporting the development of anti-discrimination laws.
2) Conducting a three year study programme
3) Work to develop policy of inclusion and welcome to LGBTIAQ folk
It then also proposes four extra pieces of more complex work which will take time and discernment. I attach the full statement.
On the final day we had the option of visiting DDIng Dong (don’t laugh) an LGBT youth crisis centre. This is a safe space for young people to go and get support and advice, as well as shower and nap if they find themselves homeless. Again we heard stories of family rejection of LGBTIAQ young people and the link was made clear for us between religion and discrimination. The centre coordinator spoke of the difficulties pastor’s children faced when they came out and were then rejected by family.
My time in Korea was moving and enriching. It reminded me of how far we have come and how much work is still to come. There was a strong feeling of being at the beginning of an exciting movement of change, a watershed moment, perhaps even a kairos moment. My deepest appreciation to the World Student Christian Federation, Incedo Aotearoa and SCM Aotearoa for enabling me to take part in this.
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The corporate Develops And Markets Blockchain-related Software
Do keep in mind the number of "new" bitcoins is pretty limited and there are thousands of miners world wide competing for the same reward. In the mean time, all the opposite Bitcoin practitioners are doing the same, initiating transactions to move bitcoins from one member to another. Control over what transactions are tolerated, and which aren't, can be an essential instrument of government coverage. Ahead- wanting info is typically recognized by words resembling: "will" "may" "believe", "count on", "anticipate", "intend", "estimate", "development", "forthcoming", "probably" and comparable expressions, or are those, which, by their nature, discuss with future events. Data gathering tools for blockchain inputs supply particular data that is barely useable for specific use circumstances. Bitcoinist: How does your service provide a price-free money switch? The talk gave a quick overview of CockroachDB's scale-out architecture to implement a WAN distributed SQL database service. It is an encrypted, distributed database that allows all customers to trace every transaction -- thus eliminating the need for an middleman.
youtube
As well as to making bitcoin-backed card purchases potential, the answer permits cannabis dispensaries to digitally track and manage their product inventories, performing duties like importing product data, images and descriptions. I assume it is like 'Shadab' magic. The cryptocurrency and blockchain drama is at fevers pitch in December with crazy price moves occurring and platform outages. The brand new Economic system Movement group built and coded their platform from the ground up with a strong focus on scaling and speed. Who are the staff? Due to this fact, the total price of ownership is lowered, settlements are sooner and clearer, and security is enhanced. These are just a few examples of the disruption disruptors are about to experience. However, there is one other space in the marketplace that is much less known, however that could possibly be not much less profitable: rising crypto property that aren't but listed on main exchanges for some purpose. However, for most of you who will not get there, it's important to find why all this buzz round drones.
Whereas it's definitely true people who acquired Bitcoin when it had no value might have gotten "lucky" with the value increase, the digital forex did not gain value out of skinny air. It is a centralized change based mostly out of NewZealand that enables you to purchase/sell cryptos in almost any part of the world. So the primary use case of top blockchain companies to work for is Bitcoin which offer people a method to connect with a sequence and make the world digitalized. As a result of, we'd like to keep the consensus going of the decentralized nature of the expertise; that permits us to make innovations by no means thought earlier than to be potential. The privateness issues associated with Bitcoin make it unsuitable for any unlawful purpose typically. Look at all of the deep red within the under visualization of present bitcoin blocks. Since its inception, Bitcoin has been somewhat volatile. From the form of issues in Figure 2, below, bitcoin seems to be rapidly unwinding early summer season gains. Bitcoin (cryptocurrency) is an thought.
So it makes sense to spend time and perceive Bitcoin first for a better understanding of how the other coins differ from it. IBM was one in all the first huge companies to see blockchain's promise, contributing code to an open-supply effort and encouraging startups to attempt the expertise on its cloud for free. Code is likely to be one weapon of choice, but this is a political battle. One of the north stars of the BTL is an American Economist and Nobel Laureate by the identify of Douglas North. Two underlying applied sciences make this work: public key encryption and blockchain. Make no mistake about it. In sensible terms: Say I have .03 bitcoin and I’m lifeless set on spending them on these Gucci loafers (size 7, fyi). Additionally odd was the very fact Kairos "was formed on October 19, 2017 - lower than two weeks previous to its introduced acquisition by Riot." To say this is not the traditional manner of doing business would be an understatement. Dima Zaitsev, enterprise analytics chief for ICOBox in Milan.
The whole thing has a vibe that portends disaster, or on the very least, the beginning of loads of tales about scammers making bank while regular individuals get hoodwinked. We’re experimenting quite a bit. A: It could have a profound influence. People who took positions in dubious coins will in all probability lose all their money they invested in them. Trades between two cryptocurrencies may or could not qualify as nontaxable "like kind" exchanges, but new bill would nix that risk. Olford cited a lot of the identical evidence in his criminal complaint in opposition to Clark, filed two months later. So it's actually a question of what is driving demand and what's driving form of the mass psychology of belief within the potential of this thing. Otonomos gives the tools and companies which allow for anybody to start an organization in any of the jurisdictions they assist. The membership plan additionally includes entry to free coaching periods, instruments and articles.
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An Interview with Brian Niemeier, Part II
Brian Niemeier is a best-selling science fiction author and a John W. Campbell Award for Best New ‘Writer finalist. His second book, Souldancer, won the first ever Dragon Award for Best Horror Novel. He chose to pursue a writing career despite formal training in history and theology. His journey toward publication began at the behest of his long-suffering gaming group, who tactfully pointed out that he seemed to enjoy telling stories more than planning and adjudicating games.
Released this week, Brian’s newest book, The Ophian Rising, concludes his groundbreaking Soul Cycle series. Recently, I sat down with Brian to discuss The Ophian Rising, the rest of the Soul Cycle, and more. Part I of our interview focused on the Soul Cycle. Let’s now find out what is next.
* * * * *
Returning to how layered your storytelling is and the wide sweep of authors and works that you’ve mentioned as influences, what authors have been most influential to your storytelling?
Frank Herbert. I’ve mentioned before that I read and fell in love with Dune in high school. In fact, it saved my love of reading from being smothered.
Also, Neil Gaiman. I loved the Sandman in its original comic run, loved Good Omens that he did with Sir Terry Pratchett. Neverwhere was okay. I really haven’t liked a lot of his solo stuff since but Sandman was a big influence.
Kevin J. Anderson’s and Timothy Zahn’s Star Wars novels from the mid to late 90s. The Thrawn Trilogy, Jedi Academy, and Dark Saber.
During one of our previous interactions online, you mentioned the importance of reading to an author’s development. What are you currently reading right now?
Right now, I am going back to fill in my Larry Correia collection. I have my copy in paperback of Monster Hunter Vendetta right here and I’m about a third of the way through.
Have you read Son of the Black Sword yet?
Yes. I took an interesting approach to Larry’s work, which is kind of unintentional. I’ve read the first installment of each of his series. So I’ve read Monster Hunter International, Hard Magic, and Son of the Black Sword, so now I’m reading the second book in each one. Hopefully by the time I’m done with Spellbound, House of Assassins will be out.
You are also an editor. Can you describe some of the challenges compared to writing?
Sure. In terms of the challenges, editing is a whole different animal. When you’re just composing original prose, the field is wide open. You know that you have this huge blank canvas that you can put anything you want on there, so you’re really free of restrictions. You can always come back and revise it later.
Editing is a far more technical process. It differs from proofreading in that I mainly provide three services, which is line, copy, and content or development editing. I don’t do what your junior high English teacher does. I’m not going through with the red pen and pointing out, “Well, this is a comma splice. This is ‘it’s’ not ‘its’ so it should have an apostrophe. You want to use ‘whom’ instead of ‘who’ here because it’s in the object.” I mean, if I find those mistakes I will correct them, but mainly I am the last line of defense between the readers and an unsaleable book. I’m there to give suggestions that, if followed, will make your book professional and make it saleable.
The questions I ask myself are: Is this prose easy to read and understand? Is it readable? Do the mood, tone, and themes that the author wants to get across come through clearly? Is the plot advanced? Is every page, paragraph, and sentence doing at least two things? Like advancing character, advancing plot, conveying mood and tone, developing a theme? Is this book structured correctly? Do the pinches and turns and climaxes and, you know, the peaks and valleys come at dramatically appropriate moments to maximize the audience’s emotional impact? Those are just a few of the challenges and, of course, so is doing all of that without killing the author’s voice.
I’ve always got to be on guard to make sure that I’m not editing this book into a book that I would write. It’s got to still be the author’s book because the author is still the ultimate authority. The author can take all of my notes and say, “Go pound sand. I’m not going to take any of this advice.” It’s the author’s call. So I’ve got to make sure that at the end of the day, even if he does take all of my advice, it’s still his book, not mine.
Can you mention some of the books you’ve worked on?
Of the books that have hit the market, I edited Justin Knight’s second book. I’m looking through my list of stuff I’ve edited to make sure I get the title right. That one underwent a title change– that was Praxis.
I also edited a short story for JD Cowan, who you may be familiar with, called “In the Eyes of the Demon”, and, just recently released, Vigil by Russell Newquist.
What’s your next project?
Well. I’ve done my passion project. I’ve done the Soul Cycle, and in terms of indie authors, it was a success. It exceeded my expectations. I was hoping to break even on it and I’ve actually been able to earn a living through that, sometimes supplementing it with the editing. It’s been critically acclaimed, it has gotten some great reviews, so I’m pleased. Well done, good and faithful Soul Cycle. Thanks to all the readers who supported it.
Now that we’ve got the more complex, layered, I don’t to say inaccessible story, but there is a curve you’ve got a surmount to get into Nethereal. I think you’d agree it’s kind of a tough nut to crack. You have to figure out how to approach it. I chalk that up to, one, being the first book in a series that tells a rather complex story, and that’s just how the story is. I mean, I simplified that thing as much as I could. And two, Nethereal is the midpoint of the whole saga.
I do at some point plan to go back and do a four book prequel trilogy that explores the life and times of Almeth Elocine and his rise and fall. We see him in the prologue of Souldancer and he shows up one more time in that book. Then he shows up a couple times in The Secret Kings near the end. Really, as has been hinted, everything is really his fault. The Guild itself, the purge of the Gen and other non-human races, and their defeat. It’s kind of all on him, which will be made clear. Nethereal is very much the echo of what he did before he got to Kairos at the beginning of Souldancer. I think he’s my most compelling character. You’ll get to see a bit more of him in The Ophian Rising. He’ll actually get to see him take the field and do stuff this time, so there’s a little tidbit for you. We’re going to examine him, but that’s not my next immediate project
So again, we’ve done the heavy stuff, we’ve done the more literary stuff, and you guys have been good. It’s time to give you a treat:
The next project is giant robots.
Let’s have some fun. Let’s get in our giant mecha and let’s blow up some space colonies. Let’s shoot the big laser straight down the middle of the approaching squad of enemy mechs and just watch them blossom in sequence into Christmas lights.
Like Macross or Gundam?
Remember when Nick Cole and Jason Anspach first launched Galaxy’s Edge? Before they had the title, they just called it #StarWarsNotStarWars. This is #GundamNotGundam. I say Gundam all the way. I mean, I like what I’ve seen of Macross, but I’m a Gundam fanboy. I love it so and I’ve got to be really careful because Bandai is super uptight even more than Disney about protecting their IP. I will probably not be able to use #GundamNotGundam in marketing. I’ve already got five books outlined for it.
There has already has been a short story published in that universe It’s called “Anacyclosis”.
Is that the story hosted on Sci Phi Journal?
Correct. So anybody who wants a foretaste of what’s coming next can go check that out. There’s quite a bit of the lore of that series contained in that story. It’s a good jumping on point.
Earlier this summer, you released a novella, “The Hymn of the Pearl”. Could you tell us a bit about it?
Anyone who signs up for my newsletter–which you can do through my website Kairos at BrianNiemeier.com–gets a free copy of my first novella “The Hymn of the Pearl” for free. It’s been described as a sort of historical fiction but in a version of Late Antiquity that never was. There are two competing magic systems practiced by two competing orders of priests. It deals with the fate of humans and gods and how they can’t be created or destroyed, just moved around. There’s a redemption story. There’s an attempt to start a war. It’s good, clean, wholesome fun.
Is this a setup for a future project or is it self-contained?
Right now, its self-contained. I do have ideas where I might go with it. There’s enough demand for an entire series. I have had people who’ve read it saying how much they want a sequel, but just as many have told me, “No, no, this is perfect as it is. I wouldn’t want to see you cheapen this with a sequel. I wouldn’t want to see you water it down.”
Let’s just say that there might be a sequel to “The Hymn of the Pearl” someday, but it’s on the back burner. I’m going to focus on my mecha series next.
* * * * *
Thanks again to Brian Niemeier for his time and for writing the genre-bending Soul Cycle series.
You can get the final book of the award-winning Soul Cycle today, and complete your collection by picking up the other captivating books in this supernatural space adventure series.
An Interview with Brian Niemeier, Part II published first on http://ift.tt/2zdiasi
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Rhetorical Analysis (First Draft)
Kara Ireland
WRIT 3160
Rhetorical Analysis of Faking It Pilot Episode
Ethos
Pathos
Logos
Kairos
Karma: Liam thinks I'm a lesbian. Amy: Who cares? Let's just go home, put on PJs, and watch House Hunters.
Shane: May I have your attention? Two friends of ours are scared tonight. They're hiding in this teeny, tiny, dark, little closet, afraid to come out, afraid we'll reject them. Here at Hester High, we do things differently. We accept everyone. Can I get an "Amen," Brenda?
Brenda: Amen. Shane: But how do we prove to them that we're not your typical high school? That we accept them? That they're safe? There's only one way I can think of. Let's elect them homecoming queens! All hail the queens! All hail the queens! All hail the queens! All hail the queens!
Amy: I told you we shouldn't have come. Shane and crowd: All hail the queens! All hail the queens!
Amy: We'll just walk in and tell them we're not gay. Thank God, the voting age is 18. Teenagers are idiots. Karma: I don't know. Maybe we should see how this plays out. Amy: You're kidding, right? They think we're lesbians. It's ridiculous. I don't even like looking at my own vagina.
Karma: Amy, we were invited to the hottest party of the year. We've been nominated for homecoming queen. You have to admit this is working for us. Amy: Small problem, we're not gay.
Karma: Everyone has a lesbian phase in college. We're just moving ours up.
Amy: What about Liam? He thinks we're a couple. Karma: Straight guys love lesbians. Just watch any porno. And last night, I swear he flirted with me.
“Liam thinks I'm a lesbian.” This simple line captures the entire essence of the show, which was the driving force behind all of the drama and antics throughout the series. Ethos is a strong influence here between these two characters. Liam’s heightened credibility comes from Karma, the main character, liking him. Her crush on him makes Karma believe his influence is worth sacrificing herself and her best friend, Amy, by pretending to be lesbians. This assumption is then substantiated at a public gathering, where Shane catches wind of Liam’s inference. Shane is an openly gay character. If he suspects that Karma and Amy are lesbians, as a gay man, people are likely to believe him. Hence the gaydar: Gay people can typically spot another gay person from a mile away. His ethos comes from being gay, himself. The rumor then gains ground fairly quickly, and it travels all the way to the orchestrator of homecoming. Along with Shane, they both try to accommodate this supposed closeted lesbian couple by saying “We accept everyone.” This pathos is playing up to the crowd and the girls. The appearance of an open and accepting environment enables and coaxes someone to come out, like they're trying to get them to. This is an appeal to fear, in a sense, because they don't want them to be plagued with the fear of adversity. She embraces their rumored predicament with this statement and her pathos is impeccable.
“Everyone has a lesbian phase in college.” Karma’s logos here is that this was expected and accepted behavior. Therefore, it should be fine to experiment and deviate a little for her own personal gain. And when she changed her mind later, it wouldn't be as reckless because it could be deemed her lesbian phase. Bringing Heinrichs into context, she’s using induction. However, this logos is a fallacy because it is a generalization. Generalizations usually are impeded by the slippery slope, but this is problematic because it is ignorant. The use of the word “phase” is off-putting because especially for lesbian or queer women, it questions and challenges the validity of it. It perpetuates the idea that sexuality is once again a choice - whereas the real and only choice is choosing to explore your sexuality. Dismissing something as a phase and writing it off as something in passing is damaging. It’s deterrent behavior with the expectation of the perpetrator coming to their senses, but that does not account for those who never deviate from their “lesbian phase.” Some women die in their lesbian phases. Gay men, too.
As an out and proud lesbian revisiting my conflicting past, I can assure you that the only confusion I experienced was the dissonance between my feelings and societal pressures and influences. The only phase I had was when I pretended to be straight for fourteen years. I’ve had boyfriends. I’ve kissed boys, minimally explored their bodies. It did nothing for me, but, my experience with girls and women were something else entirely. I felt the sparks. I felt the fireworks. The butterflies. And in hindsight, reflecting on my own quirky characteristics in my youth, it makes sense that I’ve always been a lesbian. This option was never presented to me - neither in my own home, in the media, in school. I was never exposed to this alternate reality, and it’s because it’s such a taboo topic. Still. That was why in 2014, when I caught wind of this new show titled “Faking It,” I was ecstatic. I was thrilled to have mainstream lesbian or women who love women portrayals. I was excited to see a romantic storyline unfolding between two female characters. I was happy to think that this show would support the community, dismantle the stereotypes, and present what real, queer love really looked like. The reality of this show was anything but.
I suppose I could’ve gauged the disappointment by assessing the title. Faking It. Were they kidding? Right off the bat, it enables that ignorant and homophobic ideal that it was something that was faked - that it fell right under the umbrella of rebellion, with the colored, spiky hair, the tattoos, the piercings. Homosexuality is never explicitly an act of rebellion. Your daughter didn’t kiss another girl at a party to spite you and the church, Meredith. Perhaps she felt liberated enough to stray from her norm. Perhaps you should let her without being so personally offended by it.
“Amy, we were invited to the hottest party of the year,” makes the prospect of it sound pretty enticing. The Kairos assisted the choice. The timing encouraged them to go along with it. The happenstance of all of the perks simultaneously made the concept more attractive. The timing of it all prompted less thought and more spontaneity for the instant gratifications of it. It was an easy persuasion to conduct for Karma. Amy sought popularity as well, though she did have qualms about how they were attaining it.
This show encompassed a lot and managed to turn around their horrendous beginning, but it was well into the season. Essentially, the two main characters, Karma and Amy, were faking being lesbians to gain popularity. Karma hoped to gain a boyfriend with some sort of reverse psychology about making herself more desirable if he perceived her as a lesbian. Amy, on the other hand, really was questioning her sexuality and had developed deep feelings for Karma - and finally had an outlet to give her affection and expand on their platonic relationship. Easily problematic setup. The show went on to shroud the rest of the community, with a gay male lead, a transgender character, an intersex character, a homophobic mother that eventually accepted her daughter - the whole shebang. What I have qualms about is the premise of the show.
“Straight guys love lesbians, just watch any porno,” is another kicker. Although severely flawed logos, she uses that as more inspiration to follow through with their plan. She will act the part of a lesbian in order to make him fall for her. It seems logical, but is not. At all. Considering Heinrichs, this is the commonplace. It’s a weak stance to take because it has shaky foundations – also because her susceptibility to believing this is skewed because she hopes that this “fact” will work in her favor. This was a constant motif in this show as well. Karma’s entire rationale began with grabbing Liam’s attention, and when she couldn’t impress him on her own, being a lesbian sprouted into her mind. Another misconception is that female homosexuality is in some way to please and entertain a man. It does away with all of the intrinsic factors of being with another woman - the obvious attraction, the possible connection and intimacy shared, the possibility of a love being present. Female bodies are sexualized from birth. It’s almost pedophilic, the expectation of a woman to resemble a baby’s or a child’s with the absence of hair, the smooth silkiness of the skin, and the elasticity and flexibility of the body. It does not come as a surprise that men are attracted to lesbians - it presents them with more than one woman to ogle. This ventures into the realm of pornography, where depictions of lesbian activity are only accepted if the women engaging in the activities are gender-normative - identifying as female as well as presenting themselves as women. The mentioning of pornography in the script goes to show that this is a widely known phenomenon. This is bothersome because beyond the invasion of privacy of another watching something so intimate transpiring between two individuals, it is still directed towards the male gaze. The lipstick, the stilettos, the bareness of their bodies - it is catered to men, even when it is about women. Karma ignorantly supported that with her statement.
Shane: They're here, they're queer, they need your votes. Nice work, minions.
Liam: Anything to help the gays.
Shane: Yeah.
Liam: Anyone else think the lipstick one is kind of sexy?
Ivy: Typical male, determined to prove your virility - by turning a lesbian straight.
“Typical male, determined to prove your virility - by turning a lesbian straight,” Ivy retorted and scathed Liam so fiercely. She correctly accused him of this and he fit the ethos because he is a straight male – executing typical behavior. The execution of this playing out on the show was Liam’s superficial attraction to Karma with the intention of having sex with a lesbian - fixing a lesbian. In short, he’d wanted to have sex with someone who was depriving him of it by preference. This was subconscious because he was attracted to them, both Karma and Amy, and he’d hoped for the possibilities of coitus. The prospect of a threesome also lingers in the mind of too many men, and this showed up in a later season. Lesbian relationships are not respected, because people often fetishize them. It’s hot. It’s kinky. It’s a fantasy. And though that can be true, it is a wholesome, valid relationship between two humans above all else.
Karma: Let's just go with it. See what happens.
Amy: You know I'm a terrible liar.
Karma: Don't think of it as lying. Think of it as a gift to your oldest and dearest friend. The one who never told anyone that you got pubes in second grade.
Amy: Shh.
Karma: Come on, we're getting a photo shoot. You know how long I've been perfecting my smize. It'll pop more when I'm wearing my fake eyelashes.
Amy: I guess that makes me the butch one.
Karma loaded up on her Aristotelian appeals when speaking to Amy, there. She used her own ethos by reminding her of her allegiance with “your oldest and dearest friend.” Then, she squared it by packing it with pathos by identifying herself as “the one who never told anyone that you got pubes in the second grade.” She’s persuading her by reminding her of her past altruistic endeavors in Amy’s favor, so that Amy can compromise something for hers. The hole in her plan is that she’d overlooked the required effort of the two, and they cannot be compared. Keeping a secret is not tantamount to sacrificing and exploiting your sexuality for popularity.
“I guess that makes me the butch one.” That’s not necessarily true. The two are not mutually exclusive, although it is perceived that way. Two women can be femmes, and two women can be butch, and sometimes, they can mingle. It does shed light on the fact that Karma is the feminine one and is getting attention from Liam, and if Amy is the butch one, she has no one fawning over her. That’s a desensitized morality of gender roles. “Being gay finally made me interesting,” Karma said, and with such conviction. The way people receive the news that someone is gay strikes me as overcompensation. Straight girls want gay best friends to go shopping with, but squirm away when he doesn't fit that flamboyant stereotype. Straight boys want a lesbian around so she can be one of the guys, but grow confused when she retains her femininity. This open-armed acceptance stretched a little too far and a little too thin when assessed in different contexts. Girls don't want the gay boys that don't present themselves as flaming homosexuals, sassy and sexy in the way they walk and talk. They don't have room for the more introverted gays (and trust me, there are many outside of the stereotype). It doesn't fit their aesthetic. Simultaneously and funnily enough, they seek gay best friends, but scorn and shy away from lesbians anywhere near their proximity. Males want lesbian companionship, but only the hot ones with the long hair, petite and feminine figures, and those who generally present themselves as women. And if another type of lesbian, say, a butch one, comes around, suddenly they aren't as friendly or forthcoming. It has as much to do with appearance as it does attraction. The infamous “I don't mind gay people as long as they don't flirt with me” trope exists in the minds of too many. It is across the board in males, too - even ones that would testify against being homophobic. Too often in that specific population, they seek friends of the opposite sex, but are adverse to ones of the same sex. This is a widespread problem that needs to be addressed, yet shows like Faking It continue to support the clause.
Karma: I care way too much about what those people down there think. And in this school, you have to stand out to fit in, and I'm so ordinary. Amy: You are not. Karma: Please. Being gay finally made me interesting. But if the price of that is losing you, then it's not worth it. You're the Fey to my Poehler. The Rihanna to my Katy Perry. The Lucy to my Ethel. Amy: We both know you're the Lucy. And if you need to stand out, then I'm gonna help make that happen. Karma: Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Amy: Let's be lesbians.
“And in this school, you have to stand out to fit in, and I’m so ordinary,” is an unfortunate quote that does have parallels to the lives of many. “Let’s be lesbians,” Amy hesitantly agreed, but becoming a lesbian is not and should not be an option for being different. Even writing becoming a lesbian made me cringe, because no one just wakes up one day, deciding to be marginalized. Deciding to be discriminated against. Deciding to disappoint their parents and make their counterparts suddenly uncomfortable. Deciding to have their rights questions – the value of their lives questioned. By contextualizing it, no one would choose such a thing. That is why venturing as far as identifying differently after an experiment is inherently damaging and demeaning to those who truly bear the burden of coming out.
“Going gay” carries much more weight than those who say it so flippantly intend. Being gay is a journey, and it is not always as easy as kissing a person of the same sex and enjoying your new, gay lifestyle. If one doesn’t deal with the anxieties and uncertainties of coming out (or the fear of being outed), the fear of the possible adversity they might face (berating, bullying, abuse, threats, homelessness), or the insecurities they’re plagued with from developing feelings towards a person society condemns, they haven’t gone gay. It isn’t something that occurs overnight. “Going gay” is a complete change of lifestyle, and if one cannot accept and face the strife that accompanies it, they’d better keep that ignorant and false revelation to themselves.
Titles:
Rhetorical Analysis of Faking It
“Are you sure you’re really gay?” Yes. Are you?
What Guy Hurt You?
Gone with the Wind: Going Gay
Going to the store, going to the mall, going gay!
Bisexuality doesn’t exist, apparently!
Guys aren’t cutting it and Girls are Hot
Totally Lesbo For:
#ImSoGay
Taboo Titties
The Straight Phase
Becoming a Lesbian
My key pattern in my analysis is a resounding ethos appeal. Pertaining mostly to the show, the only excuse I can make for all of the fallacies are the desperation for Liam to like Karma, and his engorged importance because of it. The things he says hold more water than anyone else saying it, in Karma’s eyes. He is the sole source of wisdom. What he says is law. The main Aristotelian appeal to be made in general with this hoax however is that of pathos. Pathos, getting emotional, getting people to resonate with your strong emotion, is key in understanding the disheartening nature behind going gay. People don’t understand the effect their words have without emotion being roused from it. Unless they are homophobes trying to upset someone with a claim that ignorant, they don’t understand the impact of their words.
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