#boldlybpd

[jennhope12-blog]

I miss you. I want to talk, get together. I’m trying.

I miss a lot of people, important people in my life I’ve always loved being with. I miss going out and I miss talking on the phone ( I’m old do we still do that lol). When I make plans they are genuine, I really intend on what we agree upon. I do. I’ll get the nerve to call you, to make plans. So excited.

But there’s this complicated little thing I expierience .... it starts with a bit of shaking. Nerves...than it’s that rotating knot in my stomach next my heart starts to race than the sweating starts. It feels awful just want it to stop.

And than there’s the voice... telling me I shouldn’t. Shouldn’t call, shouldn’t go. You don’t want me there, I’m not missed. ANXIETY

I’m slowing winning the battle against anxiety. I honestly for years didn’t try, my depression feeding off the anxiety, was just easier to seclude and not try.

But I’m here trying, and I’m winning slowly. Wether it’s a walk for a few blocks just to get out, calling a friend I’ve not seen for waaay to long ( and there’s still a few more of you I need to reconnect with because you elevate me.) And by calling you know I mean texting or instagram 😳

Ivet been telling that little voice to SHUT UP , I’m stepping out of this comfort zone I’ve bubbled myself into and I’m noticing once I get past that knotty,sweating, heart attack speed chaotic condition anxiety creates I’m ok. In fact I’m better than ok, I’m elated. I’m ass kicking top of the world, rocky type shit proud of myself!!

So if I’ve told you I miss you, I want to connect to go and talk. I mean it, I do very much mean it. Be patient with me I’m new to this whole be my own unmasked person not letting mental illness dictate my life!

I am getting there.....turning the tables.

Not being anxieties bitch but instead anxiety being mine!! #anxiety #anxietyattacks #anxietyreco

[jennhope12-blog]

[jennhope12-blog]

My thoughts!!

[jennhope12-blog]

I have #mentalillness .. in fact I have a few... Borderline personality disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD & Anxiety..... I am NOT everything you read! I am NOT like every other person with my illnesses! I am NOT my illnesses..... I AM BoldlyBPD and I AM just like you!!

[jennhope12-blog]

Begin Again!

Begin again, A billion times if you must, Reinvent yourself, Learn to live in love with life, Grow to acknowledge, accept, In your abilities trust. Reach for the stars, Cliche, And yet what one should do, Your best version capable of anything, Begin again, Let go of the mistakes and recreate you! Jenn Hope(c)

[jennhope12-blog]

Yes and yes again!! I’m so bad at doing this. #mentalillnessblogger #mentalillnessawareness #mentallyill #borderlinepersonality #boldlybpd #wordsthatresonate #yournotalone #overthinker #invisibleillness #inmymind

[jennhope12-blog]

#goodnight #mentalillnesswarrior #mentallyill #bpd #boldlybpd #yegblogger #mentalillnessblogger #mentalillnessvlogger #justagirl #saturdayselfie💋 #beautifulmess

[jennhope12-blog]

Those who don’t understand. Those that judge, those are the ones that think I do this for attention. They are wrong, I tell my story to help myself and to help others. To show what mental illness looks like for me. Not attention seeking. Well at least not in a negative way, I do hope to bring attention to mental health and mental illness. That’s about it! #notattentionseeking #sharingmystory #beingreal #showingthehardstuff #personalitydisorder #depressivedisorder #depressionsucks #yournotalone #myjourney #borderlinepersonality #boldlybpd #bpdisorder #mentalillnesswarrior #mentalhealthawareness #fightingstigma

[jennhope12-blog]

I definitely don’t know who I am, but I look forward to the person I am creating..... #mentalillnesswarrior #borderlinepersonality #mentalhealth #recreatingyou #newme #mentallyill #bpd #boldlybpd #advocate #stigmafighter #learning #tryingtogetbetter #discoveryinrecovery #recovery #findingmyself #borderlinepersonalitydisorderrecovery #depressionsucks #depressivedisorder #personalitydisorder #mystory

[jennhope12-blog]

Today I will self care in my favourite way..... BATH!! Hot relaxing water, bubbles, loud music and a possible cry..... but it’s my time..... what’s your self care?? Are you a mermaid like me?? #selfcare #bubblebath #relaxing #mentalillnesswarrior #mentalhealthwarrior #myescape #metime😊 #boldlybpd #borderlinepersonality #mentallyill #sharingmystory #lovemybaths #depressionsucks #depressivedisorder #practiceselfcare #recovery

[jennhope12-blog]

We are not cookie cutter, meaning we aren’t all the same. We don’t feel the same, live the same, love the same, learn the same. People are different so I think it’s ok to think our illnesses are also different. So the list of symptoms to make a diagnosis may be A,B,C,D,E.... I may be A,C,E and you B,C,D it doesn’t make both of us any less borderline in diagnosis just experiencing it differently, living it differently. Not cookie cutter, no disease atracks any body the exact same I believe the same for mental illness. And it’s ok, I’m learning so much from those around me with borderline or depression that experience it differently than myself. Just my thought after my session..... #borderlinepersonality #bpd #bpdisorder #boldlybpd #mentallyill #mentalillnesswarrior #mentalillnessawareness #mystory #tryingtogetbetter #learning #notcookiecutter #differentbydesign #yournotalone #togetherwecan #invisibleillness #depressivedisorder #mentalhealthawareness #mythoughts #justthinking

[jennhope12-blog]

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A post shared by Boldly Jenn (@boldly_jenn)

Therapy group support session #2 and I’m a mess since last night just thinking about it. Was Uber emotional last time, I was super triggered. But those people that have strength to share and open up I’m in such awe of... so brave. Here goes nothing.... #therapy #supportgroup #mentalhealthawareness #mentallyill #mentalillness #mentalillnesswarrior #borderlinepersonality #bpdisorder #bpd #boldlybpd #tryingtogetbetter #learning #sharingmystory #myexpirience #blogger #vlogger #stigmafighter #realshit #emotional #reallife #yournotalone #invisibleillness #depressionsucks #wecandoit

[jennhope12-blog]

#newest #blogpost #wordpressblogger Link is in the bio!! #bpdisorder #mentallyill #blogger #yegblogger #boldlybpd #borderlinepersonality #mentalillnessawareness #mystory #writingtherapy #lovetowrite #learning #tryingtogetbetter #mythoughts #yournotalone

[jennhope12-blog]

#bpdthoughts #borderlinepersonality #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorderproblems #bpdmom #bpdblogger #bpdwarrior #boldlybpd #quotes #truth #tryingtobereal #myexpirience #feelthis #mentallyill #mentalhealth #mentalillness #invisibleillness #yournotalone

[jennhope12-blog]

Putting ourselves out there is exhausting. My social anxiety is maximum lately and my self image is null so public stuff really takes a lot.... but I’m proud when I get out of my own head and bubble. Emotionally exhausted today from an amazing night of putting myself out there for Mental Health!! So today I recharge with self care, I’ll mermaid myself in a bubble bath and listen to loud music!! #recharge #exhausted #emotional #puttingyourselfoutthere #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #gettingout #learning #tryingtogetbetter #mentallyill #borderlinepersonality #boldlybpd #fightingdepression #pushingpast #advocate #blogger #vlogger #sharingmystory #togetherwecan #yournotalone #invisibleillness #bpdisorder

[jennhope12-blog]

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A post shared by Boldly Jenn (@boldly_jenn)

There’s some seriously crappy and hard choices that need to be made on this recovery journey. And it sucks, I shouldn’t have to choose between my health mental or otherwise and taking care of my family. That makes no sense and yet that’s reality. So here I am at a familiar crossroads and all it does is add stress I’m supposed to be lessening in my life! No quick fixes on this journey I’m learning.... #mentallyill #mentalhealth #hardchoices #workingonmyself #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpdisorder #boldlybpd #learning #growing #tryingtoadult #tryingtogetbetter #yournotalone #mystory #myexpirience #yegblogger #fighter #mentalillnessawareness #invisibleillness #survivor