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loveless-fairy · 2 years ago

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Evan Buckley and why the writing choices for him in the season finale were crap

This is my take on Evan Buckley, and it's a long one.

I have to start to say that yes, I am a Buddie shipper, but also I think it’s fair to say that before that, I am an Evan Buckley truer. So my take comes from my love for the character, rather than my hopes for the ship.

With that out of the way, let’s get into it.

I have a lot to say about the season finale, but I’ll concentrate my thoughts on Evan Buckley and how this show managed to give us development and no growth at all, all at the same time.

It’s really important to remember that last night’s episode was meant to be a series finale. They made this episode with the thought of “this is the last time” on their heads.

This was a send-off, and as such, it was quite awful.

Maddie’s and Chim’s closure was fine, Athena and Bobby's was perfect because they finally get to have their honeymoon, and without telling anyone. Very on brand. Hen and Karen was a happy note, but it left me wondering, why now? I mean, it’s been a while since we saw this storyline and it kinda came out of the blue. A surprise if you will. A good one though. Karen and Hen deserve the world. The thing is that seemed rushed.

The lack of Ravi. I’m gonna just leave it at that.

Eddie. I have to be honest, this felt weird and also out of the blue. Just like people on Twitter were asking. Where did he get her number? That entire scene felt off. But that’s an analysis that I’m whiling to do another day. For now, let’s just say that it was a no for me. That’s how we were supposed to say goodbye to Edmundo Diaz? I’m sorry but no. He deserves better. We deserved better.

Now, let’s talk about Buck. It’s gonna be quite a ride, so bear with me. As I see it Evan Buckley is a very complex character and sometimes I get the feeling that even the writers and showrunner of the show don’t fully understand how deep they can dig, so it’s understandable that fans feel underwhelmed with the decisions regarding Buck. As viewers, we tend to analyze everything. As fans, we like to see different sides of our favorite characters and we pay attention to everything. We keep track and sometimes, and not just with Buck, I feel that we do a better job at knowing the characters than the writers do.

With that said. We had Buck dying at the beginning of the second part of the season. It was quite a shock for the 118 and in my opinion, it was very well done. The emotional aspect of it was painfully good, so I had my hopes up for true growth for Evan Buckley. And we were heading that way until we weren’t.

I feel that after everything he went through, having to say goodbye to Evan Buckley with him getting involved with someone he just met and without really addressing his trauma was lazy writing. Plain and simple.

One of the things that always bothered me about how the show decides to write Buck is that he never truly faced his traumas.

Let’s see. Since he joined the 118 he got a truck landing on his leg, a pulmonary embolism, found himself in the middle of a tsunami with Christopher and he even thought the little guy was dead for several hours. He had to watch his best friend get shot in front of him, and for the second time, he feared for Eddie’s life. Just like Maddie said, just another trauma to add to the pile.

He almost died in a factory fire and was struck by lighting. Not to mention he was in an overpass collapse with his entire team. I know I left a few things out, but you get the idea.

And all of this is just since he joined the 118.

Let’s talk about his life before coming to Los Angeles.

I am a firm believer that Evan Buckley doesn’t really know what love looks like and what to do with it.

True. Growing up he had Maddie, and she did as much as she could with the few emotional tools she had. She was a kid herself. We know she raised him, and she did a fantastic job, but at the end of the day, she was his sister. The sister who had to step up into the mom role, even when their own mother was living under the same roof.

Buck grew up feeling that his parents didn’t really want him. Now we know why but can you imagine how confusing and painful must have been growing up like that?

They were his parents. They were the ones who should have loved him no matter what. They were supposed to be his safety net, the one place where he could feel safe. But they weren’t.

How damaged a kid had to be for him to realize by himself that only when he gets hurt he can get his parent's attention? Let that sink in for a minute.

As Taylor Swift said: “You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love. The slowest way is never loving them enough”.

And that’s what they did. They never loved him enough.

So, no. Evan Buckley doesn’t really know what healthy and unconditional love looks like. He had Maddie but the ones who were supposed to do the job and show him and teach him about love didn’t.

Not having that growing up leaves you with scars that will haunt you for years and years. And trust me, I know what I’m talking about. On a good note, he’s surrounded by love at the 118. And we’ve seen him learn about love right in front of our eyes. But the trauma doesn’t go away. That’s not how it works.

We’ve seen him being left behind, and jokingly doubting if the members of his chosen family will come for him when needed - which they did. His self-worth was on the freaking ground, but slowly but surely has been getting better.

So, yes. After him realizing why his parents never loved him enough (Love me anyway), and finally letting Taylor go, I thought we were going to see a new side of Evan Buckley. And with the couch analogy coming to life, I really thought we were going to get a growth storyline, especially after they decided to kill him.

Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against Natalia, and I understand why he felt like she ignited a spark in him. I really do. But I also thought he was going to realize it was a temporary thing, because overall having someone fetishizing your death is not really attractive.

As I said before, even after years of being surrounded by love, the trauma and the psychological scars of not being loved enough as a kid will haunt you to adulthood, especially if you don’t go to therapy to deal with it.

And they showed us just that at the beginning of the second half of the season.

As someone who wants love and loves so fully, when the same love is given back, Buck doesn’t know what to do with it.

I see it like this. When someone didn’t have physical affection growing up, as an adult is more likely to have an aversion to touch. But what happens when that person craves a hug, when that person knows it needs a hug but has no idea how to ask? And if it gets one, what happens then? It doesn’t know how to react and what to do.

After being struck by lightning we saw a parade of people worried about him and whiling to be there during his recovery and Buck was done. One would think he will take advantage of the situation and will let them shower him with affection, but it was quite the opposite. The concept of this kind of love made him uncomfortable.

And then he had people reminding him that he actually died –for 3 minutes and 17 seconds, mind you- when he clearly was trying to downplay what happened.

So yeah, Natalia really ignited something new in him, because since the lightning she was the first one who looked at him without worries and fear. Quite the contrary, she was fascinated by the fact that he died. She literally was the getaway car for these traumas, so he saw an opportunity and took it.

I wasn’t really that surprised when he said to Eddie that she really sees him, because from his point of view that may be true. But the thing is that she’s only seeing what he wanted to show, which is this version of him that’s running away from his trauma. Meanwhile, the people in his life who are a constant will see that too but also, eventually, will dig deeper and will force him to see and face what he is purposely avoiding.

At the end of the day, he was looking for validation that what happened wasn’t that bad and that it was not worth the fuss, and he found that with Natalia.

So, sure. Being with her was easy for about 2 seconds. Then she runs away, pretty much in the same way Taylor did. Because people are right, is not hard to see the parallels between how Taylor and Natalia happened. Both after major trauma.

In my head, I could see Natalia coming back so they can give it another shot, but Buck will have realized by then that he reached out in the first place for all the wrong reasons. He would have to face his mortality and grow from it. Maybe he would work on himself and put his energy into growing at the job since he was having doubts before, and rightfully so.

I’m serious when I say that I’m in charge of pushing the Evan Buckley lieutenant-era agenda.

And with the couch metaphor, what can I say? In my perfect fantasy world, Buck would have realized the couch was Eddie and then we would have had Buddie canon. But since that’s virtually impossible as long as Kristen Reidel is the showrunner of 911, I thought the season was gonna end up with Buck buying the damn couch by himself since he realized his own worth, and that he as “just Buck” is enough and him knowing himself and seeing himself for what he is, is the most important relationship he has. An open and hopeful ending. A full circle with the moment back at the beginning of the season when he realized what the couch represented in his life.

What a send-off.

And maybe, in another season that now we know is a sure thing, after the trauma and growth, he can reconnect with Natalia and really see if he wanted to be with her because of how she treated his death or because there was something real there after all.

But no, they decided to go with the safe route and have him ignore his trauma and have him dive into a romantic relationship, which according to 911 is the cure for everything.

I was mad at the beginning of the second half of season 6 because I felt they made him forgive his parents way too easily. I know they went to therapy together, but it felt like all the damage and the hurt were overlooked in favor of giving the Buckleys the redemption arc they didn’t deserve. It was the show invalidating Buck’s trauma and that didn’t sit well with me.

And also, when I saw the promo for the finale I thought they were going to do the full circle thing with Buck taking charge at the scene and proving that he can act as interim captain. The parallel between the first episode of the season and the last would have been beautiful. Him buying the couch by himself and acting in charge at the house meanwhile Bobby is getting better.

That would have been a great way to say goodbye to Evan Buckley. Showing us he is more than his relationships. He, by himself, is more than enough.

What did I say before? Lazy writing.

I still can't wrap my head around the fact that they have him delivering “his baby”, which is not really his, and having him act all professional even when we saw the moment he broke his own heart for a second there right before he passed the baby to Cameron, and they still managed to left us with the feeling that there was no growth for the character.

One step forward and 150 steps back.

Anyway, I really hope next season something change with the showrunner or in the writing room, because we’re going in circles with Buck and people are getting tired.

My takeaway from the season is that Evan Buckley died for 3 minutes and 17 seconds and didn’t learn a damn thing.

Give that man a breakdown and have him go to a therapist. He desperately needs therapy.

Finally, I hate to think they had the opportunity of a lifetime to give closure to a character as complex as Evan Buckley and they decided to reduce him to a romantic interest.

Thank god that wasn’t the last episode of 911.

There’s still room for redemption.

On another note, Eddie realizing that Pepa was wrong and that in order to be happy you don’t need a romantic relationship; that would have been a good ending too. I understand where she’s coming from, but in this day and age, being alone is not a sad and pathetic thing as she made it look.

#evan buckley #911fox #911onfox #911 fox #911 #eddie diaz #evan buck buckely #9-1-1 #911onABC #I hated the finale so I had to write something #they did my boy dirty #this is an essay #the couch theory #the couch metaphor

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i-will-say-what-i-believe · 2 years ago

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Bobby is the number one buddie shipper🥹

CAP ASSUMING EDDIE KNOWS THE ANSWER TO EVERY BUCK RELATED QUESTION????????

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matan4il · 3 years ago

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Buddie vs Lone Star meta (1/3)

Important! * LS = 911 Lone Star * OG = original 911 * These three meta posts were written before watching LS s3... * part 2 * part 3

LS 101

Not that long ago, I made this gifset pointing out how both Buck and Eddie had to witness an explosion (in OG 315 and OG 405 respectively) was possibly gonna tear them apart from the other forever, comparing it with how Michael had to go through the same thing with David in OG 508. Well, to kick off my “since OG and LS exist in the same verse, we can draw meaning from comparing the shows” meta, I’d like to add in that time when Grace was on the line with Judd and had to hear live how an explosion almost left her a widow… And if we wanna put the specific ‘explosion’ aspect aside and just talk about how the 911 verse tends to put one of its protagonists in crucial danger while showing the most significant person in their life bearing witness to it, then we can also add Bobby listening live to Athena being attacked in OG 317 and, of course, Buck staring in horror as Eddie is shot right in front of his eyes in OG 413. See, if the 911 verse keeps putting Buddie through what it otherwise reserves exclusively for its committed romantic couples, then that implies it’s because with Buddie, it has the same emotional impact…

~ ~ ~

Okay, this one is mainly written jokingly, but… TK taking Alex to that restaurant in ep 101 ended badly, just like when Buck took Abby and when Eddie took Shannon to a nice restaurant. Clearly, the 911 verse is saying they’re all disaster queers, who shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near fancy restaurants, suits or heterosexuality. XD

~ ~ ~

Towards the end of the ep, Grace comes up to Owen to plead Judd’s case. I wanna point out two things here. One, when she talks about his record, she mentions it’s all online, meaning it’s public knowledge. It felt like a small admission on the 911 runners’ part that when Abby got Buck’s number from the incident report, back in OG 102, that was a violation of his privacy and just plain wrong. Two, out of the three people who are aware Grace did this, nobody expresses having any issues with her taking steps to talk to Judd’s captain in order to fix things for him, because that’s her man. So what does it say when the same exact thing happened back in OG 204, where we discovered that Buck talked to Eddie’s captain in order to make things better for him and no one so much as batted an eyelash? Well, except for Buck, who did at Eddie, just… flirtatiously.

LS 104

In this ep, TK finds out that Owen has cancer. He vows to be there and help his dad fight it. His exact, repeated words are, “I’ve got your back.” That took me back to OG 201, when Buck and Eddie exchanged this promise. This comparison could have been seen as proof that the line is a lot less suggestive than how Buddie shippers have taken it, but I have a different interpretation for what it means, based both on similarities AND glaring differences!

(this and two more points under a cut to save your dashboards)

It takes an extreme event where TK believes he’s likely losing his dad for good to vocalize this line. That makes it incredibly charged and meaningful, but it’s said when the threat of Owen dying is looming large over them. To really drive home the point that this is about a current, concrete danger Owen is facing, TK says his line, then repeats it for emphasis, but Owen doesn’t reciprocate it.

Buck and Eddie, on the other hand, while they did initially face a life threatening event, the moment when they express that they swear to have each other’s back is after they’re already in the clear. They’re both safe, the threat is def behind them, yet it’s now that they feel the need to vow to be there unquestioningly for each other for all threats to come. And with Buddie, the line is being reciprocated! This isn’t about specific threats, it’s about commitment (which I kinda alluded to in this humor post), a fact which is even further underlined when in OG 207, Shannon reminds Eddie that what she needed from him and didn’t get was for him to have her back. I’ve written about this before, but her using those exact same words really makes it clear that in Eddie’s case, they’re about commitment and support between life partners. Eddie intuitively gives that to Buck, but not to other people in his life, not even to Shannon, who he did love.

To add to this, when TK says his line to Owen, that builds on one of the most fundamental bonds in his life, one that’s always been there and can’t be broken. Buck and Eddie, in contrast, are still relative strangers in OG 201, which means it was extremely unlikely that they would share a line that it takes others so much more to get to. Yet something instinctual in them (the same thing that made them initially butt heads while they both also showed an increased awareness of and interest in each other) makes Buddie, shortly after they had met, utter this line that for others it takes a lifetime and a grave danger to build up to. If they even succeed in following through on this promise.

Oh, but I also have to mention how these scenes were filmed! With the Strands, the line is said while both of them are in the shot, and we’re looking at their side profiles, meaning we only get a partial view of their faces, so the viewer’s eye naturally moves from one to the other, not fully focusing on either. It is a bonding moment, but one for people who are already blood family, they’re already bonded. This moment is important, but it’s not surprising.

With Buddie, however, we get close ups of them both! The camera goes back and forth between them so the viewers don’t have to, we’re free to clearly see every single thought and emotion fleeting across their faces and to get a close, intimate look at both men, which makes this feel deeper than just another bonding moment. It’s not obvious that it would take place between two people who just a sec ago were clashing, so we need to truly witness it in great, intimate detail and take it in. It’s not just a bonding moment, it’s one that fundamentally changes their r/s from resentful co-workers to committed friends.

And what are the emotions that we’re witnessing? With TK and Owen, we get from their profiles that they are solemn in this moment. It makes sense, given the risk to Owen’s life they’re going to be facing together. But with Buddie, we see wonder, joy, elation, awe... there’s a whole emotional journey that they go through in such a short scene, and we get to be a part of it. If we feel so strongly about this moment, it’s because the characters involved in it do as well.

This scene has such a lasting impact on us as an audience, because it had the same effect on Buddie, this exchange changed the trajectory of their lives from two single men each trying to make it on his own, carrying his emotional baggage, into two men who form a family unit together and face their troubles together. This is a key element in all great love stories, and comparing it to this line shared between a father and son, seeing the similarities (an expression of deep care and bonding) as well as the differences only makes that clearer.

LS 203

I already wrote about the crossover ep here, but I’ll highlight two things. One, I still can’t deal with the fact that Eddie wasn’t assigned to Marjan’s team. That man saw his Buck giving this woman attention, got jealous, went over and stalked Owen’s tent, looking for a way to be partnered with her (*cough* cockblock Buck *cough*). Unhinged moron in love. Two, every single thing I wrote back then is made even more profound by the reveal of the legal guardianship (which I referenced in reply to this ask about scenes changed by that reveal). I mean, for real. The way Eddie smiles fondly at the picture of Chris in that adaptive skateboard while saying, “Buck helped,” all along knowing that is his baby daddy. Marjan is gorgeous and smart and brave and a badass, in so many ways she’s just like Eddie, she could be the perfect fit for him, but Mr. “heart eyes at this goofball” Diaz doesn’t even really try to see where this might lead beyond just making sure she’s no threat to his r/ with Buck. He’s so freaking gone for that man…

LS 207

This ep brings up a change in the 126’s dynamics, as TK starts working on the paramedics team. What comes into focus specifically is his new partnership with Nancy. They like each other, but pretty quickly Nancy realizes TK annoys her, while he in turn senses that and doesn’t take it too well. They even end up “competing” for who gets in Tommy’s good books.

Obviously, it made me think of how Buddie started with a rivalry in OG 210. But theirs was NEVER a dynamic of being annoyed with each other, not getting along professionally, or actng like kids competing for an adult’s good graces. There was ALWAYS something much more charged about it, we never heard, “Eddie is annoying,” “Buck is condescending,” “Eddie isn’t listening to my professional input,” “Buck is getting on my nerves…” It was always implied that the issue was, “Eddie is so great, IDK how to handle that” and “Buck isn’t responding to my friendly advances as expected, WHYYY?”

And if that’s not enough to make it clear that the comparison highlights very different dynamics, there’s also the fact that the whole resolution of the conflict is handled completely differently. For TK and Nancy, it’s not actually settled between the two of them. The insight that leads to the resolution plays out between TK and Carlos! They’re the romantic couple, they’re the life partners, they’re the ones who help each other figure stuff out and change course to a better version of themselves. It’s Carlos’ words that allow TK to realize where he went wrong and treat Nancy better, making their rivalry evaporate as if it had never existed (which… technically shouldn’t work, because how DO they organize their equipment in the ambulance? TK’s new system, Nancy’s familiar one, some combination of both that they work out together? We don’t know, the show doesn’t bother giving us an answer in this ep to how their professional partnership will actually be handled, because it no longer matters, the emotional resolution took place already, thanks to Carlos).

Buck and Eddie, though… their resolution is all about them, and only about them. It also gives us a cleat indication that their work partnership will work out just fine now that they’ve figured out their emotional tension. Yes, Bobby told Buck he had to learn how to play nice in the lead up to Buddie working things out, but it was Buck’s dedication to the job and bravery under fire, it was Eddie’s big heart and willingness to forgive immediately and see past the initial rejection from Buck, that allow them to move from enemies to friends, who become life partners… Seriously, at no point did Bobby say, “Buck, you have to help him raise his kid,” but that’s exactly how it went down anyway. That came about fully from Buck and Eddie’s choices. Buddie figure things out, transform their r/s and make each other a better version of themselves all on their own… Like romantic couples on drama shows tend to do. ;)

~ ~ ~ Thank you so much to the amazing @judsonryder for making the gifs for these posts. She’s a true hero! You can find more of my Buddie meta, gifs, humor posts here, and my Buddie fics here. Please feel free to contact me if you need help with anything, and thank you in advance for any show of support! xoxox

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athenagrantnash · 3 years ago

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oh hell nah i did not just see a tag in the BATHENA tag (on ao3) that said “bobby is an idiot” and “we don’t like bobby” first off who’s we??? and second of all why tf would they tag it as bathena, like oh yes we go to that tag to see fics about bobby being a terrible person mhmm yup, and lastly TO ALL OF THE ANNOYING BUCK/BUDDIE STANS PLS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STAY OUT OF THE BATHENA TAGS IF YOU ARE GONNA PUT FICS OUT THERE THAT HATE ON ONE PART OF OUR SHIP, WE DO NOT WANT YOU THERE

anyways sorry for the rant i had to get that outta my system, have a blessed day love!!

It's funny how I get yelled at for daring to put my posts into the general 911 tags when... my posts are about 911...

But THEY get to spam tags that nobody with half a brain cell would think would be frequented by people who dislike Bobby with as much bullshit as they want.

Hypocrisy, thy name is buddie/buck stan

(and I know it's not all buddie shippers/buck stans, but a large number of people who ARE like this belong in one or both of those two groups)

#angry gremlin thoughts #ask me a question

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faeb1tch42069 · 4 years ago

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My thoughts on 9-1-1 Season 4 Episode 6 (JINX)

• why doesn’t the probie have a name??

• odds on probie has a crush on Buck? That book drop and being that flustered was not just because someone made him jump, it was because BUCK made him jump, and you can’t change my mind

• Eddies book club comment

• “medical, baby, women”

• Buck reading a self help book on how to show your love, yes please, finally someone is managing their emotions in a healthy way

• But also the rest of the team letting him know he doesn’t have to forgive his parents straight away

• everyone’s reaction to ana, more specifically them being so confused and not knowing who she is, it may be the Buddie shipper in me but that made me happy

• that one dude when there stuck in the truck just sitting there, could he not have had like a two word line rather than just sitting in the corner of shots

• YOUNG BUCK IN A BACKWARDS CAP!!!! Amazing!! We love it! we stan it!

• Surely with Eddie growing up with a large Hispanic family, he must at least know not the test fate, most definitely not a curse!

• so Josh and Chim and Buck have a group chat???!!!!! Is it just them? Is Maddie in it? Does this mean poker night is a regular thing?!!!! I need to know!!!!

• side note: Josh appearing more and more makes me very happy, when they started bringing him in more before and during The Taking Of Dispatch, I thought they were gonna kill him

• Eddie and Bobby’s heart to heart, 🥲

• Bobby being able to talk to someone who sort of gets what he went through and vice versa

• the diner dudes pain at people getting his name wrong, as the youngest sibling, I feel ya dude

• how the hell can Brian drive the fire truck without proper training??? We see TK learning in LS and he’s been a fire fighter for a while so, 9-1-1, what is your explanation??

• Buck just lying on the gurney in the abulance

• the look they share when Eddie talks to Brian about letting go

• Athena being the BAMF she is and leggin it after Brian

• 118 not even getting to have group breakfast together

• also I may not like ana and Eddie, but that women agrees to breakfast at like 8 or 9 and turns up looking like that?!! Dammm Eddie got taste

~~~Random thoughts time~~~

• How do the station numbers work? Why would the 118 and 147 ever be in the same area? I get LA is big and it might be because I’m English but still

• HOW DO THE COLOUR SHIRTS WORK AT DISPATCH?!!!!! What do they mean? Clearly they mean some sort of level thing but I need answers

• also I noticed in other episodes even when Maddie has the same colour shirt on as someone, it’s all fancy and not a basic polo like others

#911 on fox #911 season 4 #geeky stuff #buck buckley #chimney han #bobby nash #edmundo diaz #hen wilson #josh russo

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itsme98z · 7 months ago

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There are some people -though not the majority- of Buddie shippers who hate Tommy mainly because they want Buck with Eddie, but it’s a small number of people. I appreciate your side of the discourse; you bring up some good points. Personally, I have a different perspective and think Tommy is a good guy.

1) Yes, he was a plot device, but he was somewhat fleshed out and known within the 911 universe which personally I like. He understands the job and life of a fire fighter, what’s it’s like to work with emergency situations, which I feel is a good fit for Buck. There’s that slightly deeper understanding of each other. Plus, he’s stereotypically ‘macho’ even more so than Buck or some of the other guys, which goes against the stereotypes of gay/queer men having to be more ‘feminine’.

2) Tommy didn’t make racist or misogynistic comments, but you’re right that he was part of the problem because he didn’t do anything to stop it. He was distant with Chimney and Hen at first, but they did end up reconciling. He apologized to Chimney and thanked and hugged him for saving his life. With Hen, it was insinuated that he was one of those who made complaints against the previous fire captain of the 118. In the Bobby Begins episode, we see them three getting along well and being friends. We see them hang out at a bar together (most likely not the only time) and when Tommy leaves we see them celebrate and smash his face in the cake and laughing. They didn’t show too many scenes, but it’s insinuated that they’ve become good friends, that Hen and Chim forgave him, and that Tommy changed for the better.

3) Tommy was mentioned a few times by some Chim and some of the other fire fighters, though I can’t remember what episodes they’re from. Chim also called Tommy to help put out a fire with his plane (this was when the power at the 911 call center went out I believe). This shows that they at least keep in touch and are decent friends, though maybe not super close.

4) Tommy came to Chimney’s bachelor party not as Buck’s date (which Buck made clear that Tommy wouldn’t officially be his date until the wedding) to support his friend, which shows that they were at least somewhat close.

5) Him not dressing up didn’t seem like a big deal to me. The only people who dressed up were Buck and Eddie; everyone else just came in their normal clothes. Plus, just because he didn’t dress up doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. He may just not like to dress up for themed parties (though it would be nice if he did later in the show). Also, with him being on standby, wearing a costume can make it difficult to change. Fire fighters have to be quick to rush to the emergency, so wearing basic jeans and a shirt that he can quickly change out of makes sense. Even if he wore a suit like Buck and Eddie, it still would take a bit longer to change out of and every second counts when responding to an emergency. Plus, their relationship was very new. I feel like it would be a bit different if they were in a long term relationship at that point, but that’s just me.

6) I agree that Tommy getting an Uber home and not letting Buck know wasn’t good. It did put a bit of a bad taste in my mouth, but his reasons for doing so made sense. During the date it was clear Buck felt awkward about being on a ‘date with a dude’ for the first time, and Tommy didn’t think he was ready to be out and didn’t wanna pressure him and continue the date if he felt uncomfortable. I still don’t like that he left Buck standing there, though, but I don’t feel like it was a terrible thing.

7) The petty comment he made to Buck was honestly super funny to me but it also felt kind of rude. I understand he was annoyed at Buck’s comment about finding some hot chicks, but it was a bit mean. But I don’t think it was terrible, just petty and sassy without being obvious or actually outing Buck.

Overall, I like Tommy. He’s grown as a character and is a good fit for Buck in my opinion. I also love his personality. Yes, some things he’s done have not been great, but he’s far from the only one in the show to do so. The others have said and done shitty things to each other since the show first aired. In my opinion, Tommy’s are very mild in comparison. But that’s just my thoughts. I would love to hear what you think in response.

I've seen the take that people who are Buddie fans don't like Bucktommy 'cause it's not Buddie.

But like I don't like Bucktommy 'cause of Tommy. Because they decided to bring back a character who was a plot device in the past to show how racism and misogyny affects poc and women in workplaces and decided he will be a good love interest (and don't give me Chim and Hen forgive him, we know that Chim only spoke with him once after he left the 118 - that doesn't sound like being friends or even particularly friendly to me)

Because they decided to show Tommy as someone who makes petty comments when his date is not ready to come out on the first date, who leaves their date without telling him they won't continue the date, as someone who won't even put the effort into dressing up to theme in a themed party (but he was on call- which doesn't mean he'll have to go in, and even then he actually has to change)

#911 abc #911 show #evan buckley #buddie #bucktommy #tommy kinard #tevan #kinley #what do you think?#response #I respect your view

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himbo-buckley · 5 years ago

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Sex, Intimacy and Buddie (better known as I have a lot of feelings about this show, some of which are related to the before mentioned topics) - Part 4

Ciao, ragazzi,

i bims, die Kriz and I will be your tourguide today. (Yes, we’re on first name basis now, congratulations, kid, ya’ll earned it!)

Okay, so I rewrote this intro like 5 times by now. 3B has been so hard on me in a way that the rest hasn’t been. While I was writing 3A I had so many thoughts and ideas and conclusions from the get go, my main worry was to fit it all in and to make it coherent. And it took me a while to get there with 3B - but don’t worry, my friends, I did not disappoint and it is just as long as part 3, despite Tim Minear personally coming to my home and vibe checking me for saying he had daddy issues. Which is fair, tbh. Sorry bro, I’ll stop calling you out like that. (No, I won’t.)

Also if you need a „quick“ refresher of what happened so far or you just forgot, here are:

part one - part two - part three

And also, the usual spiel:

This meta was supposed to be a lot shorter and only talk about how both Buck and Eddie use sex to distract their respective partners from whatever topic they actually wanted to talk about but since I decided to rewatch the show to make sure I don’t miss any such scenes, it has exploded a bit and taken on more topics

I should also mention that I am a Buddie shipper and while I tried, you will find several references and arguments for the ship in this Meta, not all of which necessarily call for a romantic pairing but just: These two are deeply connected and you cannot look at one without discussing the other and they are each other’s strongest emotional connection.

I should also preface this by saying that the whole of the 118 has some obvious intimacy / commitment issues except Bobby (which is sort of surprising) but *John Mulaney voice* we don’t have time to unpack all of that!

On another note I cuss a little in this Meta because my parents let me listen to TicTacToe as a small child and after that it never stuck that cussing is wrong so, uhm, parental supervision is advised or something

This Meta will so far have FIVE parts now. The original plan was to do three, one for each Season, and have it organised by episode so you could technically follow along (which is still true), but due to personal reasons, also known as *feelings*, Season 3 had exploded disproportionately and for readability reasons I have split it in three parts - there is part 3 which ends with the Christmas Episode, part 4 which spans what aired of 3B so far and the final part 5 which will include the final and my conclusion, if by then I am able to form thoughts again / still

Alright you guys, drumrolls please: part 4 (also called „*butterfly meme* Is this growth?“)

Episode 3.11:

I wanna be honest with ya’ll, Season 3B is sort of a mixed bag for me, because while yes, all the episodes have been great viewed separately, they just feel so … separate from each other, and with 3A having so many episode-spanning arks, it’s a bit of a letdown to return to the standalone episode format. Especially because it makes the whole two steps forward one step back thing so much more apparent as it feels like what happens in one episode has no consequence for the next. It felt a little like they burned through too much in 3A already and didn’t know where to go from there. Which is also true for me, so maybe I should stop judging.

Anyways, I’ll stop bringing the house down now.

Let’s continue with: Don’t you just love stan-ing two adorable, complicated badass firefighters? Yeah, me too.

Also, I wanna see the Doc again. Tim, can we? He could be friends with Frank? We could see them have tea and talk about those dumbasses at the firehouse? (And also legs, since, you know, Frank only has one?)

And also the bank guy, Harrison was fun. (This whole episode was.)

And I know it has nothing to do with Eddie or Buck or Intimacy or Sex (okay a little with those) but I do wanna point you to that damn meatball scene, because it’s so chaotic? First, why are all the ingredients laid out on the table but Maddie is making balls already only to then cover them in water? Look, I’m basically vegan (haha, how long do you think I’ve waited to shoehorn this in here) and haven’t cooked meat since I was … fourteen, probably? And even to me that just seemed wrong! Not to mention AFTER touching raw meat, Maddie only cleans her hands with a towel before opening the door? You used to be a nurse, Madeleine / Maddison! (Do we know her full name? I feel like we don’t.)

One thing I really love about 3B (so far) is how happy and settled my main man Edmundo Diaz is. It’s in the eyes, you guys! I don’t know if it’s a Ryan thing or a deliberate acting choice but whatever it is it translates well (haha, well, yeah, we’ll talk about that one later) into his character and it really makes you feel like Eddie is so much better. Like for all the analysis of Eddie I’ve been doing, I didn’t notice how much colder he grew since the beginning of Season 2 until this episode came and suckerpunched me with the warmth in his eyes. Good god, proceed with caution! Oliver could call me right now and say „Look, Buddie isn’t real, I just keep getting lost in Ryan’s eyes.“ and I wouldn’t even be mad, I’d just be like „How’d you get this number?“. (It was Tim, wasn’t it? Damn it, we talked about this, mate! I wanna meet his cat, not him!)

The episode doesn’t hold a lot of relevance in terms of this meta (aside from some parallels I’ll talk about in a moment) but I still want to discuss it a little bit because it means a lot to me. I just love Howard „Chimney“ Han with all my heart.

I wanna say something controversial now because we’re 500 words in and I feel like I haven’t made you regret reading my rambling yet, so here is controversial thought of the day #1: All these fucking characters are grey as fuck except Howie. Howie is good to the bone. He is the goodest boy. He is so gentle and sweet and non malicious and yes, I am including Evan in my list of grey characters because he pulled some SHIT! Okay, a little bit of shit. Things have been *implied*! (I don’t even know anymore. Maybe he’s just off-white or something.)

And what’s the worst my best friend Howard „Chimney“ Han has done on this show? Lied to his girlfriend a buncha times so she likes him better? I lie all the time. I just lied to my mother 5 minutes ago (Yes, Mom, I’m working on my thesis.)! And Howie just lied to make someone like him better. That’s not bad, that’s horrible self esteem!

Which brings me to another thing I wanna say because thank you, Jennifer Love Hewitt. If anyone from the cast gets to call me, it’s you, because you clearly had your thinking pants on when you took one look at Chimney and said: I want that one! You a real one and I will name check you on my way to heaven - not, that they’ll let me in, but the thought counts?

Now, lets talk about those parallels I mentioned before:

The Hans vs. the Buckleys.

Now, we still don’t know a lot about Mr. and Mrs. Buckley and what exactly made them bad parents (though I’m firmly team a little neglectful but not abusive) but we know a lot about Mr. Han.

One thing of the bat I wanna mention is that this episode confirms that Maddie at least had a hand in raising Buck - which doesn’t actually have to mean too much, because based on JLHs age, her relationship with Dough and the way their sibling relationship is played it’s safe to assume that Maddie is supposed to be between 5-10 years older than Buck (assuming she started nursing school after High School at around 18 / 19, which I think takes 4 years in the US? And she was an ER nurse for 8 years, making her AT LEAST 30 in Season 2, but considering how she emphasised that Buck noticed something was wrong with Dough even as a teenager and she met Dough at 19, I’m gonna assume Buck was younger then 16 because Dough won’t have shown his abusive tendencies right of the bat, so probably about 12 / 13, making Maddie like 6 years older than him? And since we DO have a definite age for Evan, Maddie is probably around 33 in Season 2 (which also works because they wanted to put her and Eddie in a relationship and Ryan Guzman is in his early 30 as well). And look, as the youngest child of two people I would call more than adequate parents I can tell you: older siblings always have a hand in raising you, especially when the age difference exceeds 4 years. One of my sisters is 5 years older than me and I was more scared of telling her about having a bad grade than I was of my parents, so…

Anyways, back to what is actually happening in the episode and how it both parallels and contrasts the Buckleys and Hans.

Like Maddie and Howie are the older siblings and Buck and Albert are the younger siblings, yet Buck and Howie are paralleled as are Maddie and Albert. Also, Howie resents his brother for the relationship he assumes Albert has with their father, but Maddie recognises that Buck probably had similar experiences growing up as she did. Of course one could argue that Howie and Albert never had a relationship before while Buck and Maddie grew up together, but look, Maddie was in an abusive relationship for quite a while and hadn’t been in contact with her brother for 3 years prior to Season 2 but it’s safe to assume they didn’t have too close of a relationship before that either, or the Buck we know would have gone to Maddie to investigate and find out why she dipped. So…

(Despite all of this, Maddie knew she could come to her brother for help in Season 2 meaning one, our boy is such a good boy always and the Buckleys can’t be all bad if Maddie knows she can count on her brother, meaning she didn’t think her parents screwed him up too much in the time since she moved out and gradually left his life. Just another thought.)

I also love how her firm believe in the strength and meaning of familial relationships triggers a shift in Howie. Please keep this in mind for when we discuss 3.16 in a few minutes, friends.

Also that kitchen scene has all my heart. They really said kitchens are a Buddie thing now, didn’t they? (Also from a non shipper perspective, Maddie and Buck are just the sweetest and for a TV show actually fairly realistic siblings. At least if I compare them to my siblings and I.)

Also in terms of the actually topic of my meta’s: this is our first indicator that Eddie considers the 118 his family. And we have another moment of Chimney seeking reassurance / being open with Eddie. I love that they have a friendship like that. (He was so excited about meeting Chimneys brother as well. A little bit puppy and like another reason why Evan and him are friends. (As if we need more)) Also love that Eddie is secure enough to voice these feelings!

(Eddie really does seem so healed in this episode? So open? And happy? Damn, Frank, you know your shit! My man had some growth.)

Now, for some sidenotes to round off this episode, because I have some and I wanna share them:

On the Buckley parents, I think the episode wants to imply that they had plans for Buck? Maybe career wise? Because in the pool scene he says something along the lines of: „Sometimes you have to put / get a little distance“ and since it’s been implied that Buck is also from Pennsylvania or somewhere close by, we can assume that he was talking about himself here. Like he moved all the way across the continent.

I’m also just gonna throw out a prediction for Season 4: since Nia is only a foster child and like 2 years old, it’s safe to assume that she has been only recently taken in. While I do not know the US-Foster system, I do have some knowledge about the German system, so I’ll just predict that either one or both of the birth parents try to get their child back.

Or they just sort of forget about all of this by Season 4.

And I really really really dislike the cancer storyline and how the show is handling it, at least in this episode, specifically in regards to May, who in my opinion, has been both written and treated by the show as someone younger than 18 here, only for the show to then turn around and go all: wow, such an adult, look how wise she is. So awesome. Like nah, son! 3A has shown that she is much maturer than she was treated in this episode.

And Eddie finally got to say „seen this before“ again. I feel like he says that a lot. Should I start a counter for that too or do ya’ll just wanna think about him naked for a bit? (I know, you guys, I know! Should I befriend someone who can make me a bunch of gifs of shirtless Eddie I can pepper in every time we get to heavy around here?)

Episode 3.12:

Ah, yes, „Fools“! The one episode I have to say I can not look at without wearing my shipper goggles. So be warned.

Which is why I’m gonna start with the elephant in the room: Ana Flores.

Now, I’ve seen (and maybe liked / reblogged / queued / drafted (Idk anymore, I’m up to 600 posts in my drafts, 300 in my queue and like 300 liked / reblogged already)) an interview with Ryan Guzman where he talks about Ana and how he isn’t sure yet wether they are heading for romance and how it needs someone incredibly badass to get through Eddie’s defences, because Eddie is barely over his wife’s death and yeah, that! Look, if you’re here, I’m gonna assume you have read the other three parts of this „meta“ and therefore know that I am a proud member of the Shannon Diaz - defense squad and will fight anyone who says a bad word about her. And you will also know that I attribute most of the stupid things Eddie did in 3A to the fact that Shannon died. So there. All caught up.

Now, as for Ana Flores herself (and I’m writing this after 3.16, so who knows what happens next): She might be in Season 4 (I think the interview said something about it or she tweeted something) but I don’t think it has been confirmed yet? So considering what Ryan said they probably won’t end up in a relationship by the end of Season 3 (again, please remember when I am writing this).

I’m not gonna comment on the actress aside from saying, damn, I wish that were me! Other than that? I don’t really care about actors unless I think they are hot and then it’s more of a: uiiii, me like-y. (Madeleine Patch, call me!)

As for the actual scenes, well, I have mixed feelings.

On the one hand side, as I’ve said before, I work with children and the idea of dating the father of one of my babies is just plain wrong to me. So there is that. Morally speaking that storyline would be trash. (And very OOC for Mr. „My son needs to be protected above all“)

Then of course there is what’s actually happening between them which, one, from the get go she seems to not reciprocate Eddie’s advances (he keeps telling her to call him Eddie, she keeps calling him Mr. Diaz). Also that whole speech about horses? Yeah, I know you’re an english teacher but ähm, what? (Put it on the list, Tim, I need answers!)

To sum it up (and explain why I brought up Shannon aside from how much I like her), I don’t think it’s headed for a romance quite yet? They may be playing the slowburn game, but I think it was more like Ali in Season 2. Because as @greyhello pointed out to me in Part 2, Ali might have been there to show us that Buck was ready for a commited relationship and it had never been Abby that made him like that, just as Ana is here to tell us: hey, Eddie is finally accepting his wife’s death and maybe, possibly, some time in the near future, ready to date again. Probably. We’ll see.

Aside from that, I actually think a little crush could be something healthy and healing for Mr. control issues. But, again, we’ll see.

So, elephant addressed. Now let’s move on.

Sidenote: I feel like the parent-teacher conference made Eddie really regret so many of his life decisions. Someone needs to tell Buck so he can make a million puns from here on out and drive Eddie crazy.

(Sidenote: Carla said „big blue eyes“! You know who has big blue eyes? Ah, now I’m just clowning.)

Now this episode returns to the Season 2 formula of giving Eddie and Buck similar storylines:

Because while Eddie meets someone he could potentially be interested it, Buck is also made aware of his single status and the fact that he hasn’t dated in a while.

I do think Buck’s stance in this episode was both curious and familiar. Familiar because it reminded me a lot of Eddie in 2.04 and I think, just like Eddie did before Shannon came back, right then Buck is closing himself off from making connections, be they physical or emotional, because he got hurt too much.

Which is why I call it curious. Because I can not decide wether I consider his behaviour growth or a step back. In Eddie it would definitely be a step back, but in Buck who had been so willing to take any chance for physical intimacy just for the sake of a connection in Season 1 to now at least seem somewhat settled in himself and comfortable with what he has does feel a little like growth? (Then again 3.16 shows us he is just scared of getting hurt again, so probably just covering up is depression.)

Also, again with the kitchen! That puts us at five (?) scenes of Buddie talking about each other or with each other in a kitchen setting (six, if you count 3.03). Now I’m probably clowning myself real hard right now, but whatever!

But I do wanna point out how comfortable Eddie and Buck are discussing Eddie’s parenting struggles, which just shows how much he trusts him.

Now I know, I myself have made a textpost about Eddie discussing his parenting struggles with literally anyone, but ya’ll know I was kidding, right? It isn’t actually true. In canon he talks with exactly 5 people about Christopher:

They are Christopher’s therapist in „Triggers“, Carla, Hen, Lena … and Buck.

Now, here comes something interesting: For Carla and therapist, it is literally their job to help Eddie with his parenting struggles, but all the other scenes? Connected to Buck. Yeah. That.

Look, the Hen scene in the Christmas episode literally involves Buck and as I’ve said both Eddie’s and Buck’s reaction here heavily implied that Eddie has had a conversation with Buck about his fight with Chris before telling Hen all about it.

As for Lena, again, she is *literally* there as a substitute for Buck. She uses his locker. Her name is taped over his - and that is actually such a nice visual, that I wanna talk about it real quick, because I’ve seen it called disrespectful a few times and I don’t agree.

One, the fact that they left the „B“: funny af, someone from set dressing is probably laughing themselves silly about this and is allowed to call me now; also a constant reminder who’s locker and place she is actually occupying. Also how she can never really fully replace him, she can’t cover the hole he left fully, he is always there, lurking.

Two, the fact that it is tape: tape is slightly see through. It is temporary and easily removed. Tape is just a quick, momentary fix. Tape can be taken off / away without effort.

So to sum it up: There’s no one he trusts more with his son.

Which is also why Buck is there at the end: because Buck is who Eddie trusts. Buck is who Eddie goes to when he’s struggling as a father. Buck is who Eddie wants by his side cheering Chris on. I mean, they are literally pushing him together while Carla films (stands on the sidelines, ready to help as needed, but not fully a part of their family unit).

So, to go back to the elephant in the room? Right now I’m not at all worried about Ana Flores.

On another note it’s also one of the last real Buddie scenes we got in 3B so far and while I do understand that there just wasn’t any storyline for them to do such a scene organically, I am very worried about what it could mean. Because I still remember when Teen Wolf stopped putting Tyler H and Dylan in scenes together because people kept screaming queerbaiting.

I don’t want that to happen here. I love Buddie and what it could represent but I’ve also written too much about their respective characters AND their connection by now to disregard how meaningful they ALREADY are and how important even as a platonic pairing they are. Because they make each other so much better and proof that straight man can have deep connection with each other and how two flawed people can help each other heal in a way that I don’t think any other relationship in this show shows.

Back to the episode, though. The ark between Christopher and Eddie here is truly beautiful and I love the way we see Eddie growing as a parent. And I think the show wrote those scenes so well and they felt truly natural and were incredibly important, both for Eddie and Christopher.

I do think, as much as I love Christopher always being Eddie’s number one priority, no matter who Eddie ends up dating (yes, even if he dates Buck) we need to see a bit of a shift here. (Also, just in general, because Christopher will grow up, even if he’ll never be as independent as a fully abled bodied child might someday be.)

Eddie needs to learn to let go of control and of Christopher a bit. Look, a partner will never come before Christopher for Eddie (unless Chris is like in his 40s and has moved out and is living his own life. And even then it’ll be close.) but in order for anyone to ever fit into his life he needs to make a little space at the top and that includes taking away a bit from Christopher.

(Also just selfcare reasons, you guys, parents need to learn that it’s okay to sometimes think about themselves! And we already saw Eddie break once cause it became too much, how easy do you think that can happen again?)

Sidenote: We all know Buck built that, right? He’s been shown again and again to have some mechanical / maschinary (?) understanding plus fairly interesting problem solving skills.

Episode 3.13:

I love the locker room scene. Firstly, it’s a definite reminder that these three have bonded a lot and it’s such a sweet familial scene.

Also Eddie’s advice: yet another hint that he’s healing from Shannon’s death.

Compare it 3.08 and the conversation Bobby had with Eddie. There are no definite callbacks or anything like it, but it is very very very obvious that Eddie is talking about his dead wife here. Who he told he loves her in her last moments. So there.

Now, as for the healing part, could you imagine 3A!Eddie saying something like that to anyone?

Even in 3.03 or 3.06 with Buck, the person he lets himself be the most vulnerable with, there are still always terms and conditions with his words.

He trust no one more with his son, which, okay, is what the scene was about and what has the highest priority in his life but still, his trust isn’t bound to himself, it’s bound to his son, not to himself, not something he has in general for Buck, but something he has for Buck in regards to his son - that Eddie trusts Buck with himself is only ever implied.

He forgives him - „also what it means to be a part of a team“. Eddie sort of impersonalises his forgiveness here, he doesn’t forgive him because he’s Buck and he’s Eddie, he forgives him because they are part of the same team.

With Eddie there is always a wall.

But here in the locker room there isn’t. It’s just: if you love her, tell her, cause you might not get another chance - Eddie certainly doesn’t have another chance to tell Shannon.

And okay, you might say, isn’t that kind of a condition as well? Saying ‚I love you‘ because tomorrow isn’t promised? And sure, it kind of is. But Eddie’s also basically saying: once upon a time I told my wife, who art now in heaven, that I loved her as she was dying and then I got real mad at her and the world after because she left me and she was planning to leave me anyways and now I’m here and I’m over that and I’m just glad I got to tell her ‚I love her‘ one last time. I’m no longer angry.

Growth, you guys.

Episode 3.14:

I feel like the writers read some of ya’ll’s Buddie fanfiction, realised how it mischaracterised the relationship between Buck and Chimney gets and said: not on my watch!

In other words: If Eddie and Buck are different sides of the same coin, Buck and Chimney are the same sides of different coins. They share so many traits and experiences!

Now, this episode. Man, you guys, it really has me stumped. Part of me thinks it doesn’t have relevance and part of me keeps going back because it thinks it does?

Oh man, you guys, I’m lost. I don’t know.

All right, executive decision: no relevance, just another drop on the breakdown-stone that is 3.16.

Someone please tell my man’s boy they need him!

Episode 3.15:

Fun fact to start ya’ll off: this was only the second episode I watched somewhat live being a little new to town and the first I saw without spoiling myself on tumblr. So it has a special place in my heart any way you look at it.

(But then again this episode also involves several of my nightmares: drowning! being below earth! Being in small enclosed spaces! Being buried alive! Huge amounts of mud that will not leave your clothes and fingernails for the next six hundred years!)

Also, uhm, did I say „Fools“ was the *one* episode I could not look at without shipper goggles? So I’m contradicting myself. It happens. Move on. (Yeah, or repress it and join a fight club! Also name check me with your therapist, please! We may have breakdowns but we do them healthy around here!)

Because these fuckers went off! Whew! I’m serious, after watching the episode I sent a clip of that scene to my roommate and asked to rate how platonic this was. Which she did not. Because she doesn’t know math, apparently. - My point is, she sees it and she doesn’t know the show.

In other news this episode convinced me Oliver is pulling an Andrew Robinson (and yes, I know he said it was in the script but then Andy also followed the script, so…).

Sidenote: Eddie is the oldest, right? Damn, for some reason I thought he was the middle child. He has big middle child energy.

(Also why they namedrop Galveston like that? I googled it an it’s just a town? Why, Tim, why?) (At this point he is just torturing me, I know it. This feels personal.)

Anyways, this episode, you guys! I have thoughts! (And they are very hard to put in order so please excuse any jumping around at this point.)

The birthscene is great and can we just for a moment think about 25 year old Eddie hugging his mother in law so very lovingly? He’s so happy here. So soft. (Also I’m about to turn 25? I would not be able to deal with being married right now either?)

And yes, this episode confirms that Eddie has killed people, and while I know it was selfdefense, I just, it’s very weird to me because these characters have become so real to me, so to see one of them kill without a care is kinda off-putting. (This is why I will always consider Eddie grey and why I can never consider Buck white - because he had been planning on joining the Seals meaning he had to consider the possibility of killing and has probably learned to kill (Do you think that’s why he’s so non aggressive? because he knows he could take everyone down?))

I’m just gonna come out and say it: anyone who says Eddie isn’t impulsive has not watched this show. In fact I’d even say he is more impulsive than Buck.

Yes, Buck will do weird and dumb shit on a whim because the thought just crossed his mind and it sounds good and he doesn’t think about the consequences, but just does it. (I could make a case that our boy has ADHD but this is not what this meta is about)

But Eddie? Eddie is impulsive in his reactions. Everytime he is in distress (emotional not physical) he stops thinking about consequences and just starts reacting. Especially if it’s about a child!

Shannon is pregnant - lets sign up for the army.

Our child has a developmental disorder - lets stay in the army.

My parents want to take away my child - lets move halfway across the country.

(Not allowed to talk to your best friend? - lets go streetfighting.)

Eddie probably thinks these things through to a point and he mostly has a plan, but he is so reactionary. He is like a raw nerve and that’s what makes him impulsive.

It’s why, instead of letting them pull him out enough until he can radio, Eddie cuts the fucking line. Because this is a child, this could be Christopher and Eddie needs to be enough to save him.

(Are you crying yet?)

I’m not gonna talk about Afghanistan except to say: ah, Eddie. My man, you are enough! Always!

(But maybe that was his guilt over killing talking? Maybe he does feel bad?)

Also why did the woman emphasis ‚Staff Sergeant‘ like that? Was that an indicator that Eddie got promoted?

Also Eddie the fucking boy scout / alter boy / goody goody two shoes trying to get up because of a superior office despite lying in a hospital bed (and not even having been cleaned from his blood yet, urgh that’s gotta itch!)

Sidenote: in light of 3.16: do you think Eddie still talks to Mills, Binder, Norwahl and what all their names are or do you think that would be too hard for him? I’m leaning toward not talking but I really liked Mills (she reminded me of Buck and Lena, tbh.)

And now, for our regular scheduled program: Shannon and Eddie.

First of all I loved all of it. I loved that we could really understand why Shannon left. I love how much they clashed but still had those little moments of recognition.

And look: The juice box scene was very rough. Eddie is likely currently suffering from PTSD, definitely having a culture shock and here is his wife who is barely holding on as well and she just wants to leave, she can’t deal anymore and both of them are so desperate and wow, just wow. Kudos Ryan and kudos Devin Kelley, I’m sad we won’t see you again, but I do hope I’ll see you somewhere else one of these days!

I’ve talked about their relationship a lot already, so I’m not sure if I have any fresh takes but I will remind you of a few you already know:

Eddie is not in love with Shannon after Afghanistan (haven’t decided yet if he was in love with her in the birth scene)

Shannon *needed* Eddie to open up to her just as much as she needed to be open with her

Eddie was not able to be emotionally intimate with his wife

they cared about each other very very much and I do think they tried

they are family (remember what I said in part 2 about Eddie talking to the 118 about Shannon? This here proof that he definitely defended her actions at some point to them as well)

Shannon was in an impossible situation with her mother and a special needs child and likely burned out and just … she needed someone to have her back, which Eddie couldn’t because he himself was suffering from PTSD at that point

I’m still mad as fuck, they killed her off! If they give Eddie any other endgame romance that isn’t Buddie without like two seasons buildup after killing off HIS WIFE I will riot!

Which brings me to Eddie and his parents which was rough, you guys!

Look, as someone who worked with children I can see where his parents are coming from in that scene but also wow, just wow.

How cold and insensitive and fuck, no wonder someone is repressed as shit, that was horrifying and I really can’t talk about this more than to say this hurts and also explains too much about Eddie. (Can we have the locker room three bonding about having horrible parents in Season 4, please, Tim? And can Buck come too? We could do it at the loft?)

As for his conversation with Christopher, obviously it was cute as fuck and also I love how he began the conversation talking to his child like every adult male I have ever met talking to a kid about something he knows will go over it’s head („It’s like we’re talking about completely different people.“). (Okay, maybe not just adult males. Maybe we all talk like that around children sometimes. I know I do.)

I really liked how they reinforced once again that Eddie wasn’t a natural at being a dad (compare how he holds his son to season 1 Buck who most definitely knows how to handle a child (And now I’m wondering if him being good at it was always planned or a „Oliver did a great job the first time we had him interact with a child so we decided to make it a trait“-thing. Damn you, Tim, for making me think so much!)) but became good at it because he was willing to learn and he cared! Dads of the world (also Moms, we aren’t all super duper either) take note!

That being said the conversation also left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth because, one, it felt a little petulant of Eddie to turn around and leave for LA, the way it was presented here and two, Christopher at that point didn’t understand yet what Eddie was actually asking him about and it felt a bit like manipulation. Please everyone, do not consider a conversation like that consent from a child. Any adult can get a child that age to say anything they want because children just want to be liked (It’s why when children are involved in criminal proceedings it’s so hard to interview them because children follow every suggestion because they think this is what the adults want them to say.).

Now, let’s talk about puppy!boy for a second!

In 1.05 Buck tells Abby: „no one is good when it’s personal“ - well guess what buddy boys, this one is very personal for one Evan ‚Buck’ Buckley, thank you very much, that boy is losing it.

Okay, let’s compare it to the episode before and then two episodes later:

Now, obviously the situation with Maddie was a little different. Mainly because this was a hostage situation and he realised (because Seal training, remember?) that there wasn’t a lot he could do to help her right then but then again … neither was there in Season 2 when Maddie was in danger and he still acted far more frantic in the car with Athena than he did here? Like the only stupid thing he did was drive a little dangerously this time?

And of course, two episodes later we see Bobby react when Athena is in danger and while we don’t see him be frantic we do see him get ready to kill someone, so, yeah!  It could of course be inconsistent writing or deliberate to keep the attention and worry more on the people in the call centre but since they haven’t pulled anything like that before I’m leaning more into my clowning.

I mean, we also have to consider that Buck was Eddie’s lifeline here, he was supposed to be the one to get him out, so he feels extra responsible but then again we have Hen make this comment about having two cut lines, which of course says that Hen thinks that one: whatever reason Eddie had to cut his line will definitely be considered a just as valid reason by Buck to cut his line but also: BUCK WOULD DECIDE TO DIE DOWN THERE WITH EDDIE. Sorry for the yelling, but no, I do not think Buck acted out of character in 3.14.

(Which is very irresponsible, you guys. You are fathers! What happens to Christopher when ya’ll die in a well somewhere in fictional California? I can not live in fictional California! I will not be taking care of your child, Buddie! Figure it out yourself! No. We are done here! This conversation is over!)

(Okay, not quite, because I actually don’t think that would be realistic! More realistic: Buck giving Eddie his harness so he can get pulled out first and then dying down there alone.)

Like I’ve said in the at the beginning: Oliver might be pulling an Andrew Robinson. It might have just been the way they thought Buck would act if he lost Eddie while being responsible. It might have been fever making him delirious (which, btw, kudos! Because you can hear how sore his throat was and omg, that shirt hurt!)

Never mind I found the heavy focus on Buck in an episode about Eddie fairly curious - which is why now it’s video-talk time!

First: I will not bear Shannon slander around here! Yes, she was in way less scenes than Buck, but the actress also was never a main character, so ya’ll need to remember there are like 2 scenes of them as a family. And they probably didn’t have the time, money and energy to film some just for a montage - especially considering that the three of them have hardly been a family together, because first Eddie was gone and then Shannon, so…

But yes, we do have to admit that Buck was in most scenes, and yes, we do have to consider the implications of this which are: Buck is definitely a vital member of the Diaz family and when Eddie says: I’m always gonna come home to my family, this now includes Buck and I hope we see him tell him that at one point in the final cause I need him to!

And then of course there is also the radio scene in the beginning (which lead to one of my proudest tumblr-moments to date in form of this post!) which did ease us into the concept of Bucky-boy being a member of the Diaz family! So it is canon now?!

One thing I wanna point out about the school scene in the end in regards to this is that little boy’s question. Sure they used it as transition to calling Christopher his good luck charm but, uhm, why did they have Buck ask about it in the beginning then? Why have this sort of unnecessary callback to the beginning of the episode unless they want us to remember Buck?

Something to ponder for the next week, I think.

Also the episode sort of reinforced my believe that we don’t really have to worry about Ana Flores. Sure, this scene was also a chance for Eddie to redeem himself in front of a teacher he screamed at just a few weeks prior but the only interaction they had was her asking that question at the end and Eddie hardly looked at her.

(Also, if they really wanted to reinforce Eddie being interested in her, they could have had Carla make a dig about it in the beginning, even with Christopher there, but they didn’t, which to me confirms that they don’t really know what to do with her yet.)

At least Ryan was finally taking his shirt off again, I know that’s like catnip for ya’ll.

Episode 3.16:

One thing that really confuses me is how many people seem to think this episode points out only how important romantic relationship are and I don’t see that?

I mean, I see that it’s one of the points that is being made but I don’t think it’s the only possible reading of this episode.

To me it was about connection and family more than anything.

It begins actually with Eddie (the person most connected to Buck) being the first person to decline Buck’s invite, not in favour of spending time with a romantic partner, but because he has a prior commitment with his son! (And several other people, including, but not limited to, at least 2 other nine year olds. For Eddies sake I hope less than 5 or that Carla is around because he is a single father and children unionise by nature.)

And it continues with Buck by forming a connection to Red and then bonding with Maddie.

And can I just say, before we delve more into all of this, how proud I am of Evan „Buck“ Buckley after this episode? Just look at him!

This is Buck at his lowest, lower even than during the lawsuit, because back then he had something to fight against, which he doesn’t have here. Because he can’t stop other people from leaving him (that is the whole point of the episode after all) and what does he do? Instead of going full on Buck 1.0 and just finding the nearest interested person to form a meaningless physical connection with to substitute for the lacking emotional intimacy he craves so much, he goes to a bar alone and befriends an old man. And spends the rest of the episode bonding with him. And bonding with his sister. And addressing his issues, both with his sister and his family. That is huge!

(Which is why I’ve decided him not wanting to date? Symptom of his deeper issues, yes, but also a sign of growth.)

And I’ve seen some people on my dash talk about how, compared to most other 911 episodes, this episode has a fairly bleak ending, which one I agree with, two think is actually a theme with Buck centric episodes, but three don’t actually mind / think is a bad thing? It’s fairly realistic after all.

To get personal one second: I remember being a very idealistic 20-year old intern working in the foster system five years ago and my mentor, who was less than 10 years older than me but fairly badass teaching me something that technically is a well known proverb but that I, a idealistic 20-year old, had not actually understood until I worked there and saw it myself: manchmal muss man den Karren an die Wand fahren - translation: sometimes you have to let the trolley drive into the wall, which means sometimes you have to let things play out till it’s natural end before you can help. Or to use an english proverb: Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom.

And this is what I’m thinking - no, hoping - is happening here. Because, look, you don’t just solve like 20 or more years of abandonment issues in one episode and considering what a big part of Buck’s character from the moment we met him they have been, that would have been unsatisfying to watch anyways! What we need right now, in terms of Buck’s storyline is catharsis. A cleansing. Buck needs to get to his worst (which I think he did or he will, once he talks to Abby) before he can begin to get better, can begin to heal, can begin to learn that he is not alone. And that is not a bad thing!

And yes, I know our boy is suffering and we along with him because we all love Evan Buckley to death but sometimes you gotta let things break so you can fix them instead of just putting tapes over the holes you see (haha, see what I did there?).

As for the episode, here we go:

I wanna start with something else real quick which is Hen’s subplot which I found important. Because they addressed that hey, she went through a trauma not to long ago as well and maybe she is not as okay with it as we thought?

Also it shows Bobby’s double standard again, but then I think he would have reacted differently if the guy had died and it was evident Hen realised she should never pull a stunt like that again. And maybe I’m giving Bobby a bit to much credit right now. Urgh.

I do wanna say, while Chimney seemed fine at the end with what went down we did see his reaction in the next episode and honestly he is mad, it’s just that Hen is his best friend and Chimney lives on the principle of forgive and forget so there.

Now I do really like the rope rescue scene because it was badass and also because Eddie seems so done in the beginning and Bobby just looks at him like: well, he’s not doing it alone and he’s probably not gonna cut his rope!

(Also notice how Eddie cut his rope willingly but Buck’s was cut for him? What does that mean? - For reals, I may see the connection but I can’t yet make out the meaning.)

But I did appreciate Hen’s comments about them being their best guys a lot! I kind of want an episode like they used to do on Star Trek were they focus on background characters and give us the way everyone probably sees Buddie as some kind of superhuman supermen who pull the craziest stunts and somehow make it! And now, let’s get into Evan!

First of, I now Cindy was meant as a parallel to Abby but I also think to Ali because Abby didn’t leave because she couldn’t handle the fear but Ali did. So there, a sort of Ali Martin mention! Thanks for listening, Tim.

But of course with everything else Cindy is quite the parallel to Abby from the way she just left and Red never really got closure, just like Buck.

What is interesting though is that Red, different to Buck, doesn’t want closure. He wants to remember the good times and imagine what could have been. (This could of course be due to the fact that his life is about to end.)

Buck on the other hand side really craves closure, and look, I know when we first learned she is definitely coming back I was really unhappy about that, but since then we learned they run into each other which makes it fine to me. Because I thought we’d have another instance of Buck running after Abby for validation and I did not want that. But he’s not actually running after her, it’s just a coincidence so I’m happy for him getting a chance to have closure, finally.

And this is were I think the episode proofs that it’s not about romantic love as the only way to be fulfilled, first because after talking about Abby Buck asks „Do you think I’m lonely?“ which is not about romance at all (had they wanted to make it about love it would have been: „Do you think I’ll find love again?“ or something). Also the conclusion of this episode is Maddie telling Buck he is different to Red because he has her (and in general those scenes between them, yes, they were also about Abby because she was another person Buck has been left by but just like they mention a best friend in terms of people Maddie left behind it is not about the romantic aspect, it is about people he loves in general), because he has a sister and she won’t leave him again - so there, familial love! The pinky swear! The importance of family. (see 3.11)

Also had it really been about love you know what would have happened since then? We’d have seen Buck calling Abby! Maddie would have said something about Buck still being young and having time to meet someone! Instead Abby and Buck run into each other by accident and Maddie makes a pinky swear to never leave again, so yeah, I just think sometimes we need to wait for how stuff plays out before we judge.

Now of course I wanna mention the pool scene as well.

Firstly, I know we already traced a lot of what Buck says at the end back to Eddie and the grocery store but did ya’ll here Chimney say: „Seems like your making this about yourself“ and Bobby implying the same thing, so yeah, I wonder if it was them quoting Eddie or if this is what everyone is supposed to be thinking or if it was just a setup for the breakdown at the end.

Also let’s talk about Eddie real quick here, because I found it really weird that they didn’t reference his platoon from Afghanistan here? Like they could have easily have him say „I’m not in the army anymore but I still talk to my old platoon.“, especially since we MET them one episode before. So either they didn’t think of that, they wanted to reinforce the fear Buck has or Eddie may just be as lonely as Buck?

(Guess which way I’m leaning?)

(Look, children are great but they are no substitute for friends and adult conversation, just saying!)

But I love how hard Mr. Stoic and emotionally unavailable tries to reassure Buck, tries to be there for him. And also did ya’ll notice how, once Eddie speaks for the first time Buck’s focus never strays from him. Hen and Chimney and Bobby talk as well but it seems as if Buck never looked away from Eddie. (Which, definitely get that, he looked good here.) Also how Buck stresses the “That better not happen to us“ - man, what conversation could he be referencing? Man, I wish I had memorised this show by now so I could tell you about two scenes that happened in 3A between Buddie where the topic of us was emphasised a lot but alas I don’t and I can’t.

What the pool scene also proofs once more is that the 118 just like an actual family has a lot of communication issues because Hen and Chimney not being in contact with Tommy or so is a completely different situation but because of their bad communication they don’t realise that this is something they need to explain to Buck because they think this is about Red.

Bobby doesn’t get it either tbh.

But we all know who does, look, I said it about 3.03 and I’ll say it now: Eddie knows Buck. Eddie understands Buck. And Eddie is on the path of realising that Buck needs him to say the actual words and not just let his actions speak! And my my if all of this pays off I will be one happy camper! (Hums Rihanna “We found love in a hopeless place”)

On a sidenote I hate that Red pegged Buck as a hothead because he really really isn’t! He’s just excitable and sometimes struggles with expressing himself and that frustrates him!

Also I never noticed the apartment had an outside area? did we know this? There is a grill?

Also really would love to see Gigi / Dana Strattford again, I liked her, she’s pretty! (But not like to date one of my guys, Tim, kay?)

(Also whats Officer Williams up to these days? Asking for … a friend?)

And to round this episode up: Oliver still looked so sick at times and they put a lot more makeup on him than they normally do? Usually you can see the slight scaring on his face but this episode you couldn’t but you could see the tears / snot mixing with all the makeup when he was crying and honestly, not his best look! (He still makes it work, though! Just saying, I miss 1.02 / 3.02 / 3.03 Buck, I know these episodes hurt but visually they are peak!)

Episode 3.17:

Was that episode amazing? Yes.

Am I still cackling about Oliver Stark having too much leg? Yes.

Did I love the Frank mention with all my heart? Yes.

Was Michael’s meet cute in an elevator less gay than any Buddie scene we got so far specifically any in 2.01 also known as their meet-ugly? That was a rhetorical question, you guys.

As for that comment I wouldn’t put too much stock into it. I mean, if you’re a single guy and you get invited out to fifth wheel at a double date with your sister and her boyfriend and his best friend and her wife, no matter how close you are, you will feel awkward so of course you invite the other single guy who happens to be your best friend who happens to be part of the friendgroup AND the team you’re working with making this a definite team/family/work - outing.

That being said: it took me 23h to come up with a reasonable explanation for this comment and I did scream at my laptop and pause the episode after it was made and I have been thinking “Buddie” confirmed about 100 times since then!

Also, they just spent a shit ton of time together, right? Like, if Buck’s there than so is Eddie and if Eddie is there than so is Buck and I’m clowning and not calm anymore!

Maybe “Buck invites Eddie” can be our always?

In other news this episode has absolutely no relevance for anything, but I love it deeply.

And we made it you guys! It was slower going but it worked!

Thank you to everyone who read so far and thank you to everyone who has been liking and reblogging and commenting! I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express how much this means to me!

(Also please keep doing that! I too am an excitable puppy looking for validation!)

Now, to tag:

@angelcamael, @greyhello, @ipleiade, @the-family-we-choose-118 @chimbuckleys @sevensoulmates

#buddie meta #buck meta #eddie meta #911 meta #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #911 #911 fox #season 3 #textpost #mine #meta #buck #my meta

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