#bless u both!!
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post-graduation trip airport looks
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jujutsu kaisen fanart#these took ages but fr once i am choosing to forgive myself given th fact tht i was coming out of A State when i drew them#im normal now dw drawing the first years wearing merch of my comfort content fixed me#when in doubt play dress up. life hack#i am holding fast 2 my hc tht megumi is a fiend @ indie platformers and is a household name on the celeste speedrun leaderboards#argue with a wall this is my jujutsu kaisen#megumi designated Drink Runner also#alr in line at a cafe texts their gc 'what do you guys want' n gets mad @ nobara fr making him go to a Second shop 2 get her bubble tea#anyway theres not much 2 say abt these just bc i needed sth Light n Easy 2 get me out of my head#no lore to fashion pieces which is both a blessing and a curse but it Is what i needed#nobara serving looks fr a flight i love u so much. it's probably 8 in the morning n she is in a fully coordinated fit#its so criminal tht we don't have more alt hairstyle official art fr her???? iirc it's Just the lost in paradise mv with her in buns no????#robbed. i am fixing it immediately.#wonder where the 3 of them wld go on a trip
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angel sunshine for an angel sunshine | for @huhfeatjhope
#bts#btsgif#dailybts#rékagif#hoseok#jung hoseok#bts hoseok#jhope#btsjhope#usersky#bebbi... it's your birthday but honestly i am the one who got a present with you.#a lot has happened lately but u stayed in my life even tho i would have understood if you'd have decided to leave#i don't know what i did to deserve this but i am so thankful#thank you for not giving up on me#you are a blessing for many people in their life#you are the best person i've ever known and what you mean to me cannot be expressed by words#i love you and i wish you nothing but all the happiness and sunshine and warmth and love in this world#happy that even tho we are both terrible at texting back we still keep in touch and i can call you a dear friend#happy happy happy birthday darling! may you always stay the sunshine that you are!
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do u See my vision
#kirby fanart#pokemon fanart#meta knight#galacta knight#kirby#corviknight#ho oh#got pokemon on the brain#blessed are you with the ho oh bird loaf#I feel like ho oh works well with galacta seeing as they both wield fire and they're both legends in their own right#meta knight gets corviknight cause u kno dark mysterious knight motif
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senshi stimboard
if you’re seeing this, then senshi wants you to take care of yourself and go eat some food <3
sources: 🧡🧡🤎 | 🥘🍲🥘 | 🤎🧡🧡
#senshi says the kind of food doesn’t matter bc all food is good food! just try to go have a snack rn! senshi will be very proud if u do :))#stimboard#senshi#senshi of izganda#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#food stim#cooking#knives#sharps#tw raw meat#stim board#my boards#personal boards#food#brown#green#yellow#red#oughhh this is definitely one of my favorite boards I’ve made in a LONG time..#love that I was able to both make a senshi board (delightful) AND use it as an excuse to just fill a board with cozy food stims#man senshi is literally so important to me.. I love him….#I swear bro is literally the patron saint of ed recovery rn lmaooo#bless him <33 he is genuinely motivating me to eat. and to make boards again apparently!
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ghibli-style klance.......
oh u like it? well leenfiend made one too!!
#a buy one get one deal except theyre both free#klance#voltron#vld#keith kogane#lance mcclain#art#my art#i know one of the hallmarks of ghibli style is a very detailed rendered bg but.#u will honestly catch me dead before catching me put detail or effort into a bg. god bless.
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episode six: the monster
Steve’s looking at you now and you can see all the cuts and bruises on his face. You want to wipe all the blood away, to stitch him up and place him somewhere safe so that nothing else can hurt him. You want to do all of this and more as he stares at you and silently begs you to stay, but you can’t. You shake your head at him and once again his mask slips; he’s just a scared teenage boy. You want to reach out, to grab his hand and remind him that he’s good, but you don’t.
summary: so nancy and jonathan are a Thing now and you really just need a good nap, the three of you go shopping for monster hunting supplies (which honestly isn't the weirdest thing you've done this week), an old man sells you a sentimental knife, and steve kind of accidentally kidnaps you with a sexy black eye.
rating: general, slight violence and a lot of cursing though
warnings: blood, fem!reader, use of y/n, use of the word "queer" in a negative way, steve being an asshole
words: 8.1k
before you swing in: hey guys ! sorry for the delay in updates. finals season took me OUT and then life kinda happened and suddenly i was hiding out from my roommate turned middle school bully ??? idek. anyways, here's chapter 6 which features the iconic alley scene and some very sentimental stevexreaderxjonathan scenes (theyre a mess). enjoy !
-
“Geesh, you’re not a sleeping beauty.”
Dustin’s face greets you when you open your eyes. He’s hovering over you as the morning light streams through your curtains with a determined glint in his eyes.
“What–?” Your brain hasn’t caught up with what’s going on quite yet, still half asleep.
“Wake up! I’m going to Mike’s so we can all talk about yesterday and I promised to keep you updated, so… Here’s me updating you.”
Hearing Mike’s name is what causes you to fully wake up. Mike. The Wheeler’s. Nancy. Steve seeing Jonathan with her on her bed. You quickly sit up and knock your head against Dustin’s, causing the boy to yelp.
“Ow! What is wrong with you?”
“Sorry,” you say, rubbing your head as your brother glares at you. “Wasn’t intentional, honest. Can you wait like twenty minutes so I can get ready? I wanna come with, I think Jonathan spent the night there and I need to talk to him.”
Your brother frowns. “Why would Jonathan spend the night at Mike’s?”
“I’d really rather not talk about it.” You say, hoping it’ll be enough of an explanation for him.
Dustin studies you for a moment and you really hope that last night’s events aren’t written all over your face. Somehow, everyone seems to know what you’re thinking and feeling before you even do.
“Fine,” he concedes, but as he leaves your room he calls over his shoulder, “I’m taking the last of mom’s pancakes though!”
You flop back onto your bed, throw a pillow over your face, and groan. Looks like you’re stuck with a banana for breakfast again.
When you eventually manage to make your way into the bathroom and shower, your bones ache from pure exhaustion. As the warm water runs over your body, you’re not quite sure if the ache is more emotional or physical. Probably a mix of both.
You can’t remember how you made it home last night, but slowly it comes back to you in flashes.
Steve and his wonderful boyishness that has become a breath of fresh air to you. The way he greeted you so excitedly, how he had been worried about Nancy.
Nancy, who you had left alone with Jonathan because of your own pathetic feelings. The girl Steve Harrington is obviously in love with. The same girl Jonathan, your Jonathan, is beginning to fall in love with.
Then you remember the hurt in Steve’s eyes when he saw Nancy and Jonathan together on her bed. The water suddenly burns and you gasp out in pain and adjust the temperature.
You know that Jonathan would never do something like that, try to get with someone in a relationship, but lately it’s felt like you don’t really know him like you used to.
Distantly you remember what Steve had said to you, how he’d seemed so hurt on your behalf, that Jonathan had “everything he could possibly want” when it came to you. Steve claimed you deserved better. You vividly remember that part, the way he said it with such certainty and sincerity that it had made your heart stutter for a brief moment.
Dustin’s pounding on the bathroom door breaks you from your thoughts. “Dude, hurry up!”
You yell at him that you’ll be out in a second and nearly slip and die as you hurry to get out of the shower. For someone who swore last night not to let stupid boy drama not get in the way of finding Will, you’re really bad at doing it.
As soon as you’re dressed and ready, you and Dustin bike to the Wheeler’s.
Mrs. Wheeler, as usual, answers the door and lets the two of you in. Dustin heads towards the basement door, but before he goes down you tap on his hat to stop him.
“Remember what we talked about last night, okay? Friendship, it’s always worth it.” You tell him, and he gives you a nervous smile. He thanks you, takes a deep breath, and then heads downstairs.
Once Dustin leaves you make your way upstairs towards Nancy’s room. You haven’t been there in years, so you secretly hope you’re remembering the Wheeler’s layout correctly. With every step you take closer to the girl’s room, your heart pounds within your chest. You feel the same wave of nausea that you felt last night.
When you reach her door, you take a deep breath, just like Dustin had earlier, and will yourself to knock. You’re not sure what you’ll find on the other side of the door, or if you even want to know, but you remind yourself that you’re doing this for Will.
It’s all for Will.
You hear rustling in Nancy’s room after you knock, followed by a quiet “hide!” and a loud thud that you presume to be Jonathan. In another life you’d laugh at the situation, but hearing their frantic hiding only makes your nausea worse.
“It’s just me,” you say through the door, somehow managing to find your voice. It’s weak and frail, but they seem to hear you regardless.
“Y/N!” Nancy sighs in relief when she opens the door. “God, I thought you were my mom.”
“Bug?” You hear Jonathan’s inquisitive voice, and when you poke your head into the room you see half of his body wedged underneath Nancy’s bed. He gives you a sheepish wave and you find yourself suppressing a laugh.
You let yourself into the room. “Great hiding place, bee. Mr. Wheeler would definitely never find you there.”
Nancy’s eyes suddenly widen. “Oh, we didn’t– it’s not like that, I promise. Jonathan was gonna sleep on the ground, but I was scared and I guess we just… Yeah.”
You notice the way she desperately avoids your eyes, almost as if out of guilt. Jonathan is no better, his head ducked in shame as he also can’t quite reach your eyes. When he finally manages to, his smile is a hesitant one. “Her bed wasn’t the same as the bean bag, bug.”
His words are meant to be a sort of peace offering between the two of you, you know this by the way Jonathan’s voice is soft and unsure. He knows he’s crossed an unspoken line between the two of you, and you’re too tired to argue.
“Yeah, I’m sure it wasn’t.” You offer him your hand, which he gladly accepts, and you help him up from underneath Nancy’s bed.
Nancy watches the two of you and the way you immediately fall back into your comfortable familiarity together. Jonathan stands slightly in front of you as he always does, he hasn’t let go of your hand just yet. You stroke your thumb across his fingers that are interlocked with yours.
She clears her throat, sits down on her bed, and motions for you to join. “So, I guess you’re here for a reason.”
You gently remove Jonathan’s hand from yours and sit next to Nancy while he’s left to awkwardly stand before the two of you. “Well, yeah. You guys kinda disappeared on me last night.”
Nancy and Jonathan exchange an uneasy look, which only leaves you feeling uneasy as well. Jonathan walks over to her side so that now he’s standing behind her as she sits on the bed. “I’m sorry, bug. It’s just… well, last night was fucking terrifying.”
“What happened?” You ask, now discarding your confusing feelings. Out of habit you find yourself scanning over their bodies for any injuries, just in case the two of them need any care.
“The monster… we found him.” Nancy whispers. She tries to explain more, but the memories seem to come crashing back and she shudders. Without thinking, you grab her hand and try to steady her nerves; she smiles.
Jonathan sees Nancy’s fear and steps in to explain. “After you left yesterday, we searched the woods like we planned. We walked around for hours and found nothing, but then we found a dying deer and before we could kill it…”
“Something dragged it into the woods.” Nancy finishes.
You hold your breath, now very relieved you hadn't joined them last night.
Jonathan continues. They’d been separated as they looked for the deer and suddenly he could hear Nancy screaming for help, but no matter where he ran he couldn’t seem to find her.
“I followed the sound of her voice, it was like she was right there, but she wasn’t.”
Nancy sits stoically next to you, her eyes have glazed over. You feel horrible for her, and you vaguely remember something that Dustin had told you about the Vale of Shadows
The Vale of Shadows is a dimension that is a dark reflection or echo of our world. It is a place of decay and death. A plane out of phase. A place of monsters. It is right next to you, and you don’t even see it.
Slowly you piece it together. “Nancy, could you hear Jonathan, too?”
She nods. “I was in the woods, but I wasn’t… I don’t know, it was– it was different there. Cold, I remember it was cold.”
“And it was just like home?”
“What…” Nancy looks even more scared now. “How did you know that?”
You glance at Jonathan, worried that what you’re about to say will cause a reaction. “Will said the same thing when El was able to communicate with him.”
“Wait a minute,” Jonathan interrupts. “Nancy was in the… the Upside, or whatever Mike and them call it?”
“The Upside Down,” you confirm.
Nancy shudders once more. “I think that the monster lives there, feeding on that deer. So if Will and Barbara are there…”
She doesn’t need to finish the sentence for you to understand what she’s getting at. Anything that feeds on something as big as a deer is fucking terrifying. If Will and Barb are really stuck in that dimension with the monster, then all your cautioning towards Dustin about getting his hopes up makes you feel ill.
Will and Barb are basically trapped in that monster’s hunting ground.
“My mom said she talked to Will.” Jonathan reminds the two of you. “And Y/N, the boys claim that El can still find him wherever he is. If he’s alive, there’s a chance that Barbara is, too.”
“He’s right, Nancy.”
Nancy shakes her head. “But that means she’s trapped in that place.”
“Look, this may not sound reassuring, but we have El and the boys. They’re smarter than the three of us combined.” Nancy and Jonathan look at you like you’re insane. “I know they’re young, but they’ve uncovered more than we have within the same amount of time. They’re the reason why we know about the Upside Down, and as we speak I’m more than certain that they’re out there right now trying to find a gate to the Upside Down.”
You take a deep breath. “Now, do I think they’ll find it? Absolutely. But do I fear they’ll find something even worse along the way? Also absolutely. But right now we need to focus on finding the damn thing so we can kill it and protect the kids in the meantime. If we do this right, we can eliminate any possible threat so that when the boys inevitably find another way into the Upside Down, we can just walk in and save Will and Barb.”
While Jonathan still looks at you like you’re crazy, Nancy clenches her jaw and nods at you. “We have to find it again.”
Despite how obviously terrified she still is, Nancy’s bravery impresses you. In a way, you suppose that Mike gets his unyielding loyalty from her, which if someone had told you that last week, you would’ve laughed in their face.
But now?
You’re relieved to have someone like Nancy Wheeler in your life, even if her presence has created some issues that you never would’ve thought possible. For better or for worse, she’s fiercely loyal and determined, just like you.
Jonathan studies Nancy, clearly still worried about what she went through last night. “You wanna go back out there?”
The thought of her going back into the Upside Down makes you nervous. “Do we necessarily have to send Nancy back there? Can’t we just like, I don’t know, summon the thing? It clearly likes hunting for food in this dimension.”
“‘Hunting for food…’” Nancy mumbles to herself. She knits her brows together, seemingly drawing some conclusions. “When I saw it, it was feeding on that deer.”
“Poor deer,” you whisper, and Jonathan shakes his head at you to shut up.
“Meaning it’s… it’s a predator, right?”
“Right.” Jonathan says while you go “Unfortunately.”
Nancy is on a roll now, her usually confident demeanor now back. “And it seems to hunt at night, like a–like a lion or a coyote.” She grabs a textbook that had been discarded on her bed and flips to a page showing other dangerous predators.
“But don’t most predators hunt in packs?” You ask, which has been something on your mind recently. Sure, you know there’s a monster, but how can you be sure there’s only one?
Nancy bites her lip. “Yeah, but for some reason this thing is always alone… like a bear.”
“Honestly, I’d take a bear over whatever the hell we’re dealing with here.” Jonathan once again shakes his head at you, but you wave him off. “Let me lighten the mood, damn.”
“Thanks, Y/N.” Nancy smiles at you, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes before she continues explaining. “Jonathan, remember at Steve’s, when Barb cut herself?”
For a brief moment you see guilt flash across his face at the mention of that night at Steve’s, the photos he took, and he meets your eyes. “Yeah, I remember.”
“And then, last night, the deer…”
Now you’re beginning to understand. “There was blood, wasn’t there?”
“There was,” Nancy now flips to a page about sharks, which you can’t help but frown at. Maybe you really weren’t following along. She begins to ramble about how sharks can detect the smell of blood from a quarter mile away.
“I thought I escaped all this science stuff when I tagged along with you guys instead of the boys,” you mumble, trying your best to follow along.
“The thing can detect blood, bug.” Jonathan clarifies.
“But it’s just a theory,” Nancy corrects, now turning around so that she can face him.
They stare at one another, almost as if they’ve now synched together and created a world outside of yours, and once again you feel like there’s no room for you here anymore.
“We could test it.” Jonathan says, still staring deeply into her eyes. “But if it works…”
“At least we’ll know it’s coming.”
You notice how Nancy leans in close to Jonathan, more than she once did before, as if he’s her only source of support after what happened last night. In a way, you suppose that now he is. He was the only one there last night when the monster almost got her; they went through something horrible together.
Something that creates a bond like no other.
Suddenly Nancy’s door rattles, causing you to jump in her bed while she grabs for Jonathan’s hand. You don’t hear the exchange between her and her mom, too busy reeling over the fact that Jonathan’s fingers are interlocked with hers.
Jonathan, the boy so against physical touch that the only person he lets hold his hand is you, which took almost a year of friendship to even make him comfortable with. Now here he is, holding Nancy’s hand after only a few days.
Your heart hurts.
You know it’s pathetic to be so upset over a natural reaction. Nancy has been through something traumatic and Jonathan had been the one there for her, so naturally she reached out for him. While you know it doesn’t mean anything, it still fucking hurts. You’ve always been secretly elated by the fact that you were the only one who received Jonathan’s affection, his forehead kisses and hair ruffles and his hugs.
Holding his hand has become second nature to you, long familiar now with the way his fingers feel between yours.
And now they’re between Nancy’s.
“Y/N? You still with us?”
Nancy waves a hand in front of your face, and suddenly you’re aware of how long you’ve been staring at the two of them. “Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m here… still here.”
“You alright, bug?” Jonathan asks, now a bit worried about you.
“Peachy!” You try desperately to make your voice light, but the nausea that hasn’t left you since last night once again threatens to make you sick. “Enough about me, though. What I’m hearing is that we need to buy some monster hunting supplies. I mean, unless we plan on beating it with my humor.”
You wink at them, and while Nancy seems reassured by your bravado, Jonathan knows better. He raises his eyebrows at you and tilts his head and you know he’s asking what’s really going on? and all you can do is shake your head in a please don’t ask any more questions or I will sob right here right now way that only he can understand.
Nancy doesn’t notice this exchange and instead gets up from her bed. “Well, if we’re going shopping for supplies then I should get ready. Y/N, I’m sure my mom will give you some pancakes if you ask.”
Right on cue, your stomach rumbles. “Thank God she loves me. I’ll smuggle some up for you, bee.”
He thanks you before you and Nancy exit the room. She heads for the bathroom while you make your way downstairs.
“Y/N? I didn’t know you’d gone upstairs!” Mrs. Wheeler greets you and immediately you’re handed a steaming plate of homemade blueberry pancakes.
Mr. Wheeler huffs. “Do we have to feed the entire neighborhood?”
“Good morning to you too, Ted.”
The man glares at you as you thank Mrs. Wheeler for the food. You make up a quick lie about working on an assignment with Nancy and that you’d prefer to eat in her room so you can finish up an equation you’d been in the middle of.
“So, may I bring it upstairs?”
“Well…” Mrs. Wheeler purses her lips, not too keen on the idea.
You give her your best and most parent pleasing smile. “I promise I’ll be careful, not a drop of blueberry will get anywhere. Scout’s honor!”
“Oh, alright. But please tell Nancy that this will only be a one time thing”
“Of course, Mrs. Wheeler.”
You leave her alone with a grumbling Mr. Wheeler and a fussy Holly.
–
Nancy is still in the bathroom when you return and Jonathan is awkwardly sitting on her bed, looking around the room as if he’s in some foreign land.
“Ya know, I’ve never been in a girl’s room before.”
“Gee, thanks.” You scoff at him, setting the plate of pancakes down on Nancy’s desk before digging in. You’re starving.
“That’s not what I meant, bug.” He flashes an apologetic smile. “Your room is just… Well, it’s not very girly, is it?”
If you hadn’t promised Mrs. Wheeler you’d be careful with the food upstairs, you would’ve thrown a piece of pancake at Jonathan’s face. “Dude, shut up.”
“Shit, sorry.” He makes his way over to the desk and wraps his arms around you as he always does. “What I meant is that this room is so pink, while yours has more comics than I can count.”
“Don’t forget Spidey posters,” you say with a mouthful of food while simultaneously handing a piece to him. “Anyways, I like pink. I think this room is lovely, honestly. I wanted to paint mine this color when we first moved, but Dustin said if I painted the room pink then he’d never hang out with me in there. Alas, I forfeited.”
Jonathan laughs and accepts the pancake. “Him and the boys have you wrapped around their little fingers. You know that, right?”
You lean against him, relishing in the feeling of his strong chest against your back. “Mmm, I know. I’m a sucker for those idiots.”
Jonathan tightens his hold around you and draws you deeper into his chest. “I know, it’s what I love the most about you.”
His words are like ice against your skin and suddenly his arms feel suffocating around you.
You clear your throat and lean forward to lessen his hold on you. “Right, well. You just love it because they listen to me and you can round them up better when I’m around.”
“It’s not just because of that, bug.” Jonathan draws you in again and you’re too weak to fight it. He rests his chin against your head. “I love how you love those around you.”
The air has become thick between the two of you.
The way you love people terrifies me, Jonathan’s words from a few days ago echo within your head.
So what’s the truth? Why is he saying all of this?
“Bee,” you bring your hands up and hold onto the arms that are still securely around you. You’re not sure what exactly you want to say, how to explain the warmth you feel for him that simmers within you when he says your name or the way it turns into a furious boil when he looks at Nancy like she’s the damn moon. “You promised you’d call last night.”
“I know–”
“I was worried about you.”
“And then I ditched you.”
“Again, might I add.”
You put her first, you think.
Jonathan sighs and places a kiss against your hair. “I know.”
A tense silence follows. Mrs. Wheeler’s wonderful pancakes now taste like cement in your mouth. God, you wish things could go back to how things once were. You miss when Jonathan could wrap his arms around you and the weight of it wasn’t so crushing with all its unspoken implications.
“I’m sorry, bug. I really, really am sorry.” His voice is strained and he tightens his hold even more, as if to remind himself that you’re still there with him. “I was so scared last night, and had you been the one taken instead of Nancy…”
“But I wasn’t. She was.” You try to keep any emotion out of your voice.
“I know… I just, I had to make sure she was okay. I promise that nothing else happened. You know that right? Just, please tell me you believe me.” His voice cracks and you finally turn around to wrap your own arms around him.
“Bee, of course I believe you.” Your words are muffled against his stomach, but he hears you. He always hears you.
You understand why he stayed at Nancy’s, you really do. But it doesn’t make the sting of it any less painful. You feel awful about what she experienced last night, no doubt forever traumatized by it, but the bitter taste of no longer having Jonathan all to yourself is something you’re still getting used to.
“You forgive me?” He asks, so faintly you almost don’t catch it.
You lift your head up and catch Jonathan’s eye. “There’s nothing to forgive, bee.”
And you mean it.
The smile Jonathan gives you as a response, the smile that has always made your knees weak, is just yet another reason why you can’t ever risk what you have with him.
–
This may come as a shock to some, but you’ve never set foot in the army supply store.
The place makes you uneasy. You’ve never been comfortable around weapons, and like you told Nancy earlier: if it ever came down to it, you’d prefer to use your charm (but mostly your wits) rather than violence. It just isn’t your thing.
While you and Jonathan wander aimlessly around, Nancy seems to know exactly what you guys need. She begins throwing things into the basket around her arm without hesitating and you exchange a look with Jonathan. Clearly it’s a good thing you’ve wrangled Nancy into this mess.
You wander some more and break away from the group, eyeing the insane amount of weapons, traps, and knives offered in the store. It’s overwhelming and you realize you have no real idea what you’ll even need. Guns unnerve you, the bat Nancy brought just seems silly to use. So what does that leave you?
Your eyes land on a knife with both its ends extended. Its handle in the center is a polished wood that’s a deep ember and the blades themselves are sterling silver that glisten in the dim store lighting. It’s a beautiful weapon.
As you reach for it to inspect it, one of the store employees, an older man, walks up behind you.
“That’s a switchblade. It was donated to us years ago.” You jump at the man’s words and he flashes you an apologetic smile. “Sorry, miss. Didn’t mean to scare ya.”
“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. I’m just more skittish than usual this week.” You’re not sure why you admit this to the man, and when he gives you a curious look you clear your throat and change the topic. “You said this was donated?”
“Oh, yes! Here, have a feel for it.” Before you can stop him, he places the knife in your hands.
Your fingers skim over the smooth wood and you notice some words engraved in it. The letters are scuffed, presumably from age. “Was there writing on it?”
The old man’s smile becomes a sad one. “The switchblade was from this old man, he made it for his wife and claimed she loved to keep him on her toes. So, he had the word ‘button’ engraved in the handle because–”
“She always pushed his buttons?”
“Yeah,” the man laughs. “That’s exactly what she did.”
There’s a far off look in the man’s eyes, as if he’s remembering a warm summer day from his childhood; bittersweet and filled with fondness. He reminds you of your grandpa whenever someone brings up your grandma who died when you were young. You roll the blade over in your hands. “You knew the woman, didn’t you?”
“I did, but she’s long gone now,” he confirms, his voice wobbling.
“I’m sorry for your loss, sir.” You reach over and place your hand on his forearm, which he smiles at.
“Don’t be. Martha would be glad someone like you has her knife, now.”
You immediately drop your hand and try to give the switchblade back. “Oh, no, I can’t possibly take this–”
“It’s yours. You’re the only one who has paid any attention to it. I’ll show you how to use it if you make me a promise.”
Before you can argue more, Jonathan calls out from a few aisles down. “Bug? Where’d you go?”
“I’ll be there in a second, bee!” You turn back to the man. “What kind of promise are we talking about?”
“Bug and bee? Martha called me birdy because a bird swooped on me the first time I ever met her,” the old man chuckles with affection. “Anyways, promise me that you’ll use this with love. I may own this store, but violence never leaves much room for love.”
The agreement comes easily to you. “Of course.”
And with that, the old man shows you how to flip the switchblade open. It only takes a simple flick of the wrist for the blade to glide back into the handle in the center, and with another flick they smoothly glide back out once more; the way the blades move in sync leaves you in awe.
“You can use both the blades or only one, but I sense that you know that things are always stronger together.” The old man says, a glint in his eyes as he hands the switchblade back to you.
You smile at him and try it out yourself; the switchblade fits perfectly in your hand and you’re easily able to get the blades in and out. As you’re admiring the way the blades balance each other out, Jonathan appears by your side.
“Hey, ready to check out?”
You nod and thank the old man, who waves you off with a friendly goodbye.
“Who was that?” Jonathan asks once you’re out of earshot from the man.
You show him the switchblade. “You remember that theory you had about me attracting old people? You’re gonna love this.”
–
Nancy plops down bear traps, gasoline, and a multitude of other supplies she acquired while you were off talking to the old store owner. The cashier, a significantly younger looking man, looks at the three of you as if you’re insane.
“And I’ll have four boxes of the .38s.” Jonathan says, and you flash the employee your award winning smile just in case. You recognize how insane this all looks.
“What are you kids doing with all this?” The employee asks, and you Jonathan both instinctively turn to Nancy for help.
She shrugs, playing the question off well. “Monster hunting.”
The guy laughs and finishes ringing you guys up before the three of you head out to Jonathan’s car. He’s carrying most of the stuff in a box while you and Nancy start loading the bags into his trunk. You quickly help him with the box once you’ve placed your bags down.
“‘Monster hunting’?” Jonathan teases and Nancy just smirks.
“How do you think that guy would react if he knew we were telling the truth?” You snort and Jonathan can only shake his head in amusement.
Nancy laughs and bumps her shoulder against yours. “You know, last week I was shopping for a new top I thought Steve might like.”
Hearing Steve’s name makes you freeze. You completely forgot that Steve had been there with you last night at the Wheeler’s. He had seen Jonathan and Nancy together on her bed. You remember the anger in his eyes and your heart sinks. King Steve would never just let something like that go.
“Hey, uh, Nancy?” You try to interrupt the girl, but she’s too focused on her story.
“It took me and Barb all weekend, it seemed like life or death, you know? And now…”
“You’re shopping for bear traps with Jonathan Byers and Y/N Henderson.”
You grab at Nancy’s jacket to try and get her attention, but she only has her eyes set on Jonathan. “Nancy, I have something to tell you–”
“What’s the weirdest part? Me or the bear trap?”
“Guys I really need you to listen right now–” Again they ignore you, lost in their own little world that you still don’t have access to.
For a moment you wonder if you even should warn them, but you know it’d be wrong not to. You could be imagining it, but your new switchblade almost seems to warm up within your pocket as if to remind you of your promise to the old man.
Nancy’s eyes shine as she looks at Jonathan and you want to scream. Now is not the fucking time. “You. It’s definitely you.”
You clap your hands in front of their faces, finally breaking the two of them out of their spell. “Hey! Assholes! Trying to save your asses!”
Jonathan bats your hands away from his face. “What are you talking about?”
“Steve, he, uh…” You take a deep breath, trying to figure out how the hell you’re supposed to word this, before a car honks and some creep calls out to Nancy.
“Can’t wait to see your movie.” The boy laughs, which causes your blood to turn cold. The Hawk movie theater, where Jonathan works… In a twisted way, Steve Harrington is a fucking revenge genius.
“What the hell was that?” You hear Jonathan mumble, but your ears are ringing.
Nancy turns to you, now with distrust in her eyes. “Steve. You said his name.”
“Nancy–I, I forgot and–” You stumble over your words as the girl’s eyes harden. You didn’t mean for this to happen, you don’t know how you forgot. She doesn’t wait for you to finish whatever the hell you were about to say and starts running after the car. You’re quick to follow after her, already knowing what you’ll find.
“Where are you guys going?”
“Just come on, Jonathan!” You shout behind you.
Nancy sees the board before you do and the gasp she lets out makes you want to cry for her. There, in big, ugly red letters on the Hawk’s clapperboard are the words spelling out “All the Right Moves Starring Nancy the Slut Wheeler”.
It’s an awful, awful fucking thing.
And it’s Steve’s work, you know it is.
You hear Jonathan gasp out behind you and you see the crowd that begins to form around the three of you. Everyone stares at Nancy and whispers cruel things about her and it takes everything within you not to cause a scene. How fucking dare they. They have no right. Steve had no fucking right.
In the midst of your anger you notice the tears beginning to form in Nancy’s eyes and you immediately run over to her side and grab her hand. You pull her into a hug and whisper reassurances, promising her that it’ll all be okay. She lets you hold her and you feel so fucking awful. You should’ve done more to protect her.
Then, you hear the distinct sound of a spray paint bottle rattling followed by Tommy Hagan’s screech of a laugh. Nancy tears herself from your grasp and runs into the alley where the noise is coming from. You follow after her and see Steve and his gang spraying even more things onto the Hawk walls.
There’s a steely look in Nancy’s eyes and you worry for a moment that she might hurt someone. It’s not that you don’t think it’s warranted, but you’re sure Jonathan’s boss has already called the cops on the teens and they’ll be here soon. Nancy can’t afford to get into any trouble right now.
“Nancy, I don’t think you should approach–”
She ignores you and angrily marches over to Steve.
“Hey there princess!” Carol sneers, and you have to refrain from spitting on her. Right now this is about Nancy, you need to make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid and to also ensure she knows that you’re right behind her to support her. She needs to know that you’re here for her.
“Uh oh, she looks upset.” Tommy teases. When he sees you, he lets out another cackle. “Holy shit, Harrington. You were right! Henderson really is a pathetic push over if she’s here with the girl who slept with her boyfriend!”
Tommy’s words enrage you and you’re about to just say fuck it to your no violence policy when Steve shuts him up. “Knock it out, Tommy. I told you Henderson’s with us–”
Nancy’s slap catches both you and Steve off guard. Everyone gasps in shock but you start laughing, immensely proud of the girl’s strength. “Nice one, Wheeler.”
She spares you a quick glance before steering her glare back at Steve. “What is wrong with you?”
Steve clenches his jaw. “What’s wrong with me? No, what’s wrong with the two of you?”
“The two of us?” Nancy asks. Steve juts his chin in your direction and she turns around, now more confused and hurt than ever. “What does Y/N have to do with any of this?”
A lump of anxiety forms in your chest. “Nancy, I can explain–”
“I was worried about you,” Steve lets out a bitter laugh and distantly you remember saying those exact words to Jonathan a mere hour ago. You guess you understand the boy more than you may want to. “I can’t believe that I was actually worried about you.”
Nancy opens her mouth to respond but Steve cuts her off, now walking towards you. “And you… I always knew you were too nice for your own good, but defending the girl who stole your boyfriend?” He hovers over you; you can smell his expensive cologne this close as he says his next words so low that they almost come out as a whisper, “well, I expected more from you, Y/N.”
You freeze, overwhelmed with his presence. He lingers, you’ve never been this close to him, his eyes are darker than Jonathan’s and filled with more disappointment than anger. You know he can see right through you in a way that fucking terrifies you; he knows.
“What are you talking about?” Nancy exclaims, effectively breaking whatever moment was going on between you and Steve. He backs away, his eyes still lingering on yours, before facing Nancy once more.
Your words catch in your throat, still reeling from your encounter with Steve, so it’s Carol who breaks the silence. “I wouldn’t lie if I were you. You don’t want to be known as the lying slut now, do you?”
“Don’t call her that,” you manage to say, though you can’t seem to stop looking at Steve, who is looking right back at you.
“Speak of the devil,” Tommy’s voice alerts you of Jonathan’s arrival. You look up and see what the idiot has written on the wall behind him.
“‘Byers is a perv’? Wow, you guys are geniuses when it comes to insults.” You snort, feeling Jonathan place his hand on the small of your back to steady you. He can sense your anger brewing.
“It’s okay, bug.” He whispers. You relax a bit into him, but you’re still fuming. Steve watches the interaction with an interest in his eyes that lets you know Jonathan’s tenderness with you has only pissed him off more.
Steve points at the two of you, looking around at his friends. “Aww, how sweet. You guys see that? Tell me, Henderson. Did he whisper sweet nothings into your ear after he slept with my girlfriend?”
Both Jonathan and Nancy speak at once. He denies you two being together while Nancy now understands that Steve had seen her and Jonathan in her room last night.
“Henderson and I both, actually.” Steve corrects, and you want to punch him.
Jonathan turns to you, guilt creeping into his voice. “You saw?”
“Now isn’t really the time, we need to help Nancy–”
“Look, I don’t know what you think you saw, but it wasn’t like that.” Nancy says, looking at Steve and then you. “I promise, Y/N. Nothing happened.”
Steve rolls his eyes. “Right, that’s what Henderon said. You just let him into your room to… study?”
“I was telling the truth.” You grit out, but Steve and the others ignore you.
Tommy steps in front of you and Jonathan. “Or for another pervy photo session?”
Jonathan steps towards the boy but you grab his jacket, not allowing him to go any further. You understand he’s angry, but just like how he won’t let you do anything stupid: you won’t let him, either.
Nancy shakes her head furiously. “We were just–”
“You were just what? Finish that sentence,” Steve steps closer to Nancy now and you find yourself preparing to step between them if needed. “Finish. The. Sentence.”
The only sound in the alley is the sound of Nancy panting. She can’t think of what to say, what can she even say? Steve won’t believe her regardless. To him, she’s already done the unspeakable and hurt him in the worst way imaginable. You feel for the two of them, no one can possibly win in this situation.
When Nancy doesn’t say anything, the angry expression on Steve’s face slips for a moment and you see the heartbroken boy underneath his mask. It happens only for a second, but you see it. You know you saw it.
“Go to hell, Nancy.” He scoffs.
“Harrington, you don’t mean that.” You say, trying to help him out. He’ll regret burning this bridge with Nancy, you can see how deeply he cares for her. He loves her, even if he can’t admit it. If he walks away now, he could lose her.
While you’re talking to Steve, Jonathan breaks free from your grasp and pulls Nancy away, which only seems to upset him more.
“You said yourself that we aren’t friends, Henderson. You don't know me. As for you, Byers, I always took you for a queer. I guess you’re just a little screw-up like your father.”
Steve begins to push Jonathan now, but Jonathan has harshly grabbed your arm to pull you away. He doesn't want you involved in this, you know he just wants to get you and Nancy safely out of the situation, but you resist him anyways and try to push at Steve.
“What, you're gonna help your douche of a boyfriend?” Steve sneers at you, and Jonathan will definitely leave bruises on your arm with how tightly he has to hold you back. “Oh, yeah. That house is full of screw-ups.”
He pushes Jonathan again and this time you manage to spit at his feet. “Shut the fuck up, Harrington.”
“I’m just telling the truth. You know, I guess I shouldn’t really be surprised. A bunch of screw-ups in your family.”
Jonathan stops now. You do the same. Nancy sees this and urges you to keep walking, but you and him exchange a look. You hate violence, you really do, but the Byers family is your own family. Aside from how protective you are of them, you also know the anger that Jonathan has buried within him. If Steve keeps pushing it, you’re afraid of what Jonathan may do.
“I mean, your mom? I’m not even surprised what happened to your brother.”
You hate violence. You could never, ever hurt anyone. But you’re starting to feel really fucking close to understanding why people seem to enjoy it. “Leave his mom and Will out of this.”
Steve ignores you and continues spewing bullshit. Jonathan is tense next to you and it’s only now that you notice his clenched fists and his ragged breathing. Steve has gone too far.
“Steve, shut up!” Nancy begs as you now leave Jonathan’s side to begin pushing Steve back. A fight cannot break out. It’s broad daylight and too risky. You can’t let Jonathan put himself in danger.
“Harrington, you need to leave.” You urge him as you push against his chest, but he just gently pushes you aside and follows after Jonathan.
“But the Byers?” He keeps hitting Jonathan’s back and you have to use all your weight to pull him away. It’s no use. “Their family, it’s a disgrace to the entire–”
Jonathan’s punch lands perfectly upon Steve’s face.
In any other moment, you’d find the accuracy incredibly hot.
Instead you push the thoughts aside and rush over to him while Steve regains his composure. “Bee, listen to me. Cops could be here any second, you can’t fight–”
You scream as Steve tackles Jonathan onto the car and then the ground. Nancy begs them to stop and has to wrap her arms around you to keep you out of the fight. The sound of skin hitting skin sickens you.
“Nancy let me go,” Steve lands another punch on Jonathan and the sound his head makes when it hits the ground causes you to cry out.
“Y/N, Jonathan wouldn’t want you to jump in–”
“I have to help him!” The pure anguish in your voice is what makes Nancy finally let you go. You immediately rush over and try to pry Steve off of your friend, but he doesn’t see you approach and almost lands a blow at your face.
Jonathan sees this and grunts out, “don’t touch her,” before punching Steve in the face once more and throwing him off. They’re both standing now as Steve’s friends egg the fight on and Nancy pleads for them to stop. You tug at the boys’ clothes to try and break them apart, but you know you’re weak against them. You force yourself to think of something else, and right as you’ve formed a plan, Tommy is the one who steps in and punches Jonathan.
“Get out of here, man.” Steve yells, not wanting anyone to fight his battles for him.
You slap Tommy across the face. “Fuck off!”
The boy raises his fist to punch you and you don’t have time to do anything else besides flinch and brace yourself for the hit, but Steve intercepts it. “Tommy! I said get out of here!”
You’re in a daze as you process what’s just happened, but then Jonathan starts throwing more punches and suddenly Tommy has his arms around you to hold you back. You try to break out of his grasp, but he’s a lot damn stronger than Nancy.
All you can do is helplessly watch as your best friend beats Steve Harrington’s face in. He lands one punch, then two, then three, and for a horrifying moment you’re afraid that Jonathan might actually kill him.
“Jonathan! Stop!” You scream, tears now streaming down your face.
He has Steve pinned on the ground by the time the cops come.
“Shit, the cops!” Tommy lets go of you to help break up the fight right as the two officers arrive. They struggle to get Jonathan off of Steve and somehow he manages to punch one of the cops in the nose. Of course he fucking punches a cop in the nose.
You rush over to try and help, but as soon as the cops have Jonathan you feel yet another pair of arms wrap around you. You don’t know who it is, but they start to drag you away while the cops arrest Jonathan. You try to twist around to face your assailant, thrashing and kicking. “Why do you all keep grabbing me?”
“Fuck, Henderson! Stop kicking me, I’m already bleeding!” Steve groans, still carrying you in his arms as he and his friends flee the crime scene.
You struggle more against him, but you’re exhausted from your previous attempts of breaking up the fight and you’re still crying. You can’t do anything besides making it extremely difficult for him to carry you and throw out a multitude of insults and cuss words. You have to get to Jonathan.
Once they’re a few yards away, they slow down and Steve finally places you back on the ground, though his arms remain around you. You manage to free your own arms and begin punching him in the chest. “Let go of me! Jonathan just got arrested because of you!” Every word you say is followed by a punch.
“Jesus Henderson! I just saved your ass, quit it!”
“Saved my ass? You just beat up my best friend and he’s bleeding and needs my help and–”
“He’s a cheater! So is Nancy! They deserve each other and if you go back there right now you’ll be arrested and they’re sure as hell aren’t worth getting arrested over!” Steve is screaming at you and shaking you by the shoulders, urging you to understand.
“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not with Jonathan? And you’re wrong! It wasn’t like that between him and Nancy, you have to understand that.” You scream back at him, faintly aware of Steve’s friends watching in the background.
He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m not a fucking idiot, Y/N.”
“You sure about that?”
“God, you’re so naive.” Steve shakes his head. “It’s always the nice ones who are the most naive.”
His words cut through you; you look him in the eyes, “Get fucked, Harrington.”
Steve lets go of you, surprised by your words while his friends gasp. “I was just trying to help.”
His voice is soft, as if he’s afraid to admit this to you, and you know that in his own way he means it. Steve had only been trying to help, but he hurt the people you love in the process. You hesitate, unsure how to respond.
Steve’s looking at you now and you can see all the cuts and bruises on his face. You want to wipe all the blood away, to stitch him up and place him somewhere safe so that nothing else can hurt him. You want to do all of this and more as he stares at you and silently begs you to stay, but you can’t. You shake your head at him and once again his mask slips; he’s just a scared teenage boy.
You want to reach out, to grab his hand and remind him that he’s good, but you don’t.
Instead, you turn away and run back towards the alley and Jonathan.
-
⌑ series masterlist
⌑ if you would like to be added/removed from my taglist, just let me know :)
⌑ taglist: @siriuslysmoking @sheisjoeschateau @myeclispedsun @innercreationflower @juhdoche @frostandflamesfanfic
#steve harrington x henderson!reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#stranger things#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things rewrite#slowburn#angst#wdtai#m's writing#bless u steve and jonathan#both are a god damn MESS#anyways#PUNCH STEVE !!!#FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
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tgcf fans found screaming crying throwing everywhere all at once due to a shit ton of new content
#i have two braincells and both are screaming#like the trailer????insane#yushi huang first appearance????maam id be a farmer for u#he xuan and his slay ass design???#CROWN PRINCE XIE LIAN#And little small baby hong er#heaven official's blessing#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#xie lian#hua cheng#hualian#tgcf short film#he xuan#yushi huang#mxtx
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this ace and sanji parallel of feeling undeserving of love, your honor
#they have the same flavor of mental illness your honor#those were ace's last words in marineford#remembered marineford again feeling like im being shot in the chest with an assault rifle besties#this is why you need to love your children because lack of parents' affection leaves a gaping hole that nothing else can fill#and the result is self-sacrificial self sabotaging self loathing personalities like ace and sanji#men like sanji be like I'M INDEBTED TO EVERYONE I MET#boy do u ever fucking think that YOU are the blessing in THEIR life? im abt to bitchslap them both#also mental illness aside ace and sanji fucked in alabasta btw#one piece sanji#black leg sanji#vinsmoke sanji#sanji#portgas ace#one piece ace#portgas d ace#ace#marineford arc#marineford#whole cake island#whole cake arc#whole cake
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thank you for so much love on my sona sheet update i am so happy you all like my funny monkey guy 😢😢 AND AUGHGHH!!!!!! HUGE THANK U TO MY ABSOLUTE SWEET AND WONDERFUL FRIENDS (@linaharutaka ) and (@qilinkisser) for the most gorgeous art you made for me today ….. I’m literally in tears oh my gosh………thank you 😢😢😢
#LINNAAAAAA ���😢😢 you are always so nicey to me thank y for always listening to me and my monkey posting…….#stares at you with my big wet eyes full of tears … 😢#you always draw my sillies so lovely UR ART IS SO SWEET TO LOOK AT ……… AUAGAGHAHV 😢😢😢#POSEYYYYYY AUAGAGHGH IM ALWSYS SO OBSESSED WITH THE ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS ART YOU MAKE ME…….#Ur art is literally so soft and wondeful it reminds me of fruit gummies….. 😢#AND U ALWAYS KNOCK IT OUT OF THE PARK DRAWING FUNKY…. u draw us both so cute… bless ur wondeful heart my friend 🥹🥹🥹🥹 SNIFFS💜💜💜💜💜💜#AAUGHHHH THANK YOU BOTH SO MUCH AGAINNNN AUAHHHH 😢😢😢😢😢#gifts! 🎁#FAVE#ULT FAVE#🩵🦍 love monkeys 🐒🧡#🦍🏄♂️🌊#I’m literally so insane monkey happy monkey smileeee 🥹🥹🥹🥹🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
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Anyone else not able to say 'bless you', either because it feels too personal, embarrassing, slightly erotic or a mixture of all of the above-
Buuuuuut also whenever an event interrupts the conversation, you feel so much more awkward not saying anything/commenting on it at all, and so you wish you could just... say that phrase, or have some other thing that makes sense to say to just- shrug it off???
#waterfalltalks#been thinking about this SO much lately like- thought about it before#but i grew up in a household where no one said it#and none of my friends ever say/said it so it was never really a problem#we all just pretty much ignore them THOUGH lately bc of one friend they've started#mocking... the noises/sounds.... which is a WHOLE ass experience both when it happens to me or when it happens to someone else#buuuuttt i digress- the point is more that lately its been a lot more on my mind bc#it keeps happening in the middle of a conversation/when we're watching videos#and it just.... feels so SILENT afterwards and i know no one else is thinking about it bc#no one else puts the pressure on it that i do (cept my one friend that knows but he doesnt usually mention it)#but like.... idk guys i just feel AWKWARD not SAYING ANYTHING but also i feel even WORSE saying something and is just so eguheugheuhjgshueg#idk just!!! thoughts!!! and seeing if im alone in this bc i know other people feel awkward blessing but#does anyone else feel that?? silence????? maybe im just crazy ToT#if you made it this far im sorry for the rambling and thank you for reading ittttt feel free to tell me what u think bc im out of my mind <#waterfallrambles
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i found my old livejournal and it was so unbelievably amazingly bad that i've been cringing all day. to be fair it's because i was trying very very hard to be a Normal Person. but the result was that my writing voice sounded like a bad AI that was fed only comedy central, conan o'brien, daria, etc. oh my god. and the thing is. i really thought i was doing a good job being Normal. but no......
#i had to give myself a hug and say it's ok you were raised in a barn and your parents are insane and moved you to a small desert town#where everyone was either ignorant or violent or both#u had your coping mechanisms at the time and that meant you were constantly doing a pastiche of a standup routine as a teenager#and god bless you. it was so bad. and very unfunny. and you grew. you grew....
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commission for @kirbypurrs !!! feat. their sUPER CUTE gala design <333
#kirby#galacta knight#meta knight#commission#metagala#*hOLDS BOTH OF THEM GENTLY*#thank u purrs for commissioning me to draw my fave orbs oguhoguh <3333#this was actually so fun OUGHH i got to draw meta and galacta and flowers all together in one drawing gOD BLESS
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FREEEEEEEESIAAAAAAA
Freesia is a song from Guilty Gear XRD. But it could have been released in Strive and still hit just as fucking hard. That's because it's applicable to multiple aspects of the story.
Sol Badguy is one of the most powerful characters in the GG universe. At least, he's in the top 10 (probably??). Despite that, he's a grown man who is a grief-stricken mess and has questionable direction to his life.
In my opinion, this song is best interpreted as coming from Frederick. Not Sol, the Badass god-like gear that has saved the world on several occasions. Frederick Bulsara, the man that lost everything important to him.
The start of Freesia is someone reaching out to Frederick. Because really? Frederick does a lot of brooding and self-isolation. He wouldn't reach out to someone otherwise. His head isn't in the clouds, it's in space, drifting aimlessly amongst the stars.
But everything is fine, Frederick says. There's enough air for at least 2 people where he's at, and he's alone. So everything is ok. Frederick, or more accurately, Sol, has everything he needs. He's achieved great feats normal humans only could dream of achieving. He's reached greater heights than anyone ever has, and yet? Something is still missing.
There's enough air for 2 people up there. Boundless information. Wisdom beyond that of any normal human. But there's enough air for 2 people. And he knows why, but he can't bring himself to say it.
"The whole world is kind to me"
Yes, Sol has reason to be happy. Everyone has rewarded him for saving the world. Everyone appreciates what he has done in some way, and every day brings fresh start. The world has been ushered into a new era of peace; but there's someone missing. But Frederick can't bring himself to tell anyone what it is.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry..."
It'd be ungrateful for him to imply something was missing, or that something could be wrong. Sol apologizes, but laments his cowardice.
This next portion feels more like Frederick reaching out, or at least telling someone in passing about how miserable he is:
"The world may crumble down with just one piece missing"
Now, he is (to the best of his ability) trying to be genuine and honest about how life's trials have affected him. Frederick is saying that if he can't get that one thing back, if he can't reach his goals, why continue? Without this thing he's been pursuing for DECADES, actually being obtainable, his life has no purpose. He's just a shell of a man looking for comfort in the past.
This is where the dam breaks. This is where Frederick and Sol's lives converge into one. Frederick Bulsara is Sol Badguy and vice versa. He can't pretend that his reasons for fighting and living don't come from a place of loss and pain. He's not just bounty hunting for money, not just traveling the world because he can. His emotional strength isn't there because he's fixed all of his problems. His experiences have made him physically stronger, but mentally? He's exhausted and desperate for rest. Everything he has done up to this point has been for Aria Hale. But if she's gone, everything falls apart. There is no point.
That's why the song is named Freesia. A Freesia is a flower from South Africa that is commonly seen at weddings. They typically convey deep trust, friendship, thoughtfulness and sometimes purity.
And then the line hits. You know the one.
This moment in the song is an outburst of love, both platonic and romantic. This is the moment where Sol can't hide that he's still Frederick. He's still human. And damn it, he still loves that woman-- as Aria or Jack-O.
"Here I am" is a resignation. He tried ignoring the emotions building up inside of him for so long, neglected his humanity, acted as nothing but a weapon for so long, and he is tired. The mask falls off. He is finally allowing himself to be vulnerable and honest with the world.
Sol isn't proud of it.
He shouldn't have isolated himself for so long.
He shouldn't have lied about his emotions.
He shouldn't have pushed so many kind people away.
If he had done those things, maybe there would be less blood on his hands. Maybe he would have lived a more normal life.
But he knows that's not true. Aria meant too much to him. Sol would still miss her as desperately, even if he continued down a different path.
Yes, he had reasons to feel the things he felt. But at the same time, there were also so many people willing to help him start again. and he sees it now, as clear as day. Aria had been his world for so long. But he was missing so many beautiful things because of it. Frederick had spent so much time trying to save Aria that he became single minded in his endeavor. It led him to become isolated. It kept him from living his own life and that's what Aria wanted for him so badly. She didn't want to weigh on his mind, she wanted the happy memories of them to help Frederick continue living.
So the apologies tumble out again for the last time.
Frederick was surrounded by, and floating through galaxies. Worlds of people surrounded him and yet everything was touch and go. A passing greeting. A quick handshake. Knowing glances. He had recognition, respect, power, and yet, when the fight was over? Sol would leave it all behind again and move back to Aria. But that isn't what she would have wanted.
Reading through the lyrics, I initially thought Frederick was saying that he couldn't protect or save Aria, and that was what the final line meant. But I believe that's not the whole message. Frederick wasn't able to prove himself to Aria: Sol didn't keep living on like she wanted him to. He forgot her final wishes in his grief, and for the first time, he sees that. Now, finally, Frederick is ready to fulfill them.
• ○ ● Thanks for reading! ● ○ ●
#guilty gear#guilty gear strive#freesia#guilty gear music#sol badguy#Frederick Bulsara#jack o valentine#aria hale#song analysis#this took me longer because 1. finals 2. exhaustion 3. gaming and 4. this song makes me sob#i cried while getting screenshots for this.#'Have I ever called you Aria?' will always fuck me up#god bless you daisuke ishiwatari#red freesias matching sols color pallette perfectly#i see u. i see u daisuke. i see u.#Fredericks character is so good. i love sol. hes one of my favorite protagonists ever#he is literally The man The myth and The legend#both in a writing sense and in lore
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i really like that hua cheng never once conceals his bitchiness like from the get go xie lian sees how mean that mf really is (to everyone around them not to xl ofc) and xie lian just liked him more for it. bitch4bitch couple
#like hua cheng is straight up going ‘u are fucking stupid’ to ‘nan feng’ and ‘fu yao’ and xie lian just laughs#also when he told that ghost in the gambler’s den that ‘his shit life is not worth anything’#and xie lian’s internal monologue is just ‘omg san langs voice 🥺🥰’#these both happen within the first few days of their friendship#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#tian guan ci fu#tgcf#heaven official’s blessing
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Anon is probs talking about this look
https://www.facebook.com/HockeyNightInCanada/videos/577370863162507/?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v
OR this look
https://gustavlindstrom.tumblr.com/post/617318046919540736/curls-for-daysssss-brady-reveals-matthew/amp
i have seen the second one but THANK U FOR THISSSSS
you don't even know how much this made my night. AHHHHHHH
#matthew tkachuk#wow you guys#bless u both anons#yah i need him to do this again pleaseeee#esp since this was four years ago#im on my hands and knees begging#anon#asks
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@bread-is-my-life @loadingbnha I had to draw something out of yalls beautiful idea, I couldn't resist. Matching skull face bfs 💀
#I AM IN LOVE W THAT IDEA#THE COMIC IM LEGIT COUNTING MINUTES#I LOVE YALL BOTH SM#i immediately thought of them like this#couldn't resist as i said#bless yalls mind and hands#theyd actually do that :'(#i also had so much fucking fun#thank u both for giving me confidence and inspiration 🙂↕️#i think i got stains loving gaze right#chat is it right?#my hero acedamia#boku no hero academia#toshinori yagi#akaguro chizome#all might#stain mha#stainmight
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