#bless that incorrect quote generator

[tales-from-the-hexlab]

Sky: Um, why are Viktor and Jayce sitting with their backs to each other?

Mel: Hm? Oh- they had a fight.

Sky: … then why are they holding hands?

Mel: They get sad when they fight.

[phantom-pinetree]

*Demo and Soldier enter a dive bar* 
Demo: Look, I know you’re disappointed but could we at least have a drink?
Soldier, in a scuba diving suit: I would like to leave, please.

[jakascoo]

Dick: You kidnapped Jason?! That’s illegal! Damian: But Dick, what’s more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Jason, or giving up on our hopes and dreams? Dick: Kidnapping Jason, Damian! Duke: Dick, listen. However I feel about this, these guys are counting on you to inspire them! Dick: What, to kidnap people? Duke: To work together! Dick: To kidnap people?! Tim: Dick, we’ve all agreed that Jason is not a people.

[crazydaymycrazyway]

Feng Xin: I wasn't that drunk

Mu Qing: You tried to colour my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.

Feng Xin: Because you are!

[adventures-in-teyvat]

arlecchino: put a bunch of wrapped, empty presents under a christmas tree so that every time a child misbehaves you can throw one into the fire

dottore: what do i do when i run out of children

[hazelkjt]

"Taking Pride in your Work"

[muqingfx]

tgcf incorrect quotes but they're incredibly OOC and literally incorrect PART 2!

ling wen: My hands are cold.

feng xin: Here, let me hold them.

ling wen: My lips are cold too.

feng xin: covers ling wen's mouth with their hand

ling wen: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.

Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

qi rong: I'm trash.

ling wen: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?

qi rong:

qi rong: You smooth motherfucker.

qi rong: And yes it does.

ling wen: Nice rock.

shi qingxuan: Thanks, jun wu gave it to me.

jun wu: I threw it at you!

shi qingxuan: Aren't they the sweetest?

mu qing: I hate you with every inch of my body!

jun wu: That’s not a lot of inches.

shi wudu, ordering Starbucks: Hey, I just got my heart broken, what do you recommend?

yin yu, who’s running the drive thru: …

yin yu: Tequila.

qi rong: You saved me! Why?

shi qingxuan: People would think I murdered you if I didn't.

shi wudu: Welcome to my very first vlog, in which I try different hair products!

shi wudu: *sprays hairspray in their mouth*

shi wudu: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good.

mu qing: Are you trying to seduce me?

he xuan: Why, are you seducible?

he xuan: Why are you burning our marriage certificate!?

quan yizhen: Good luck trying to return me without a receipt.

qi rong: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this.

feng xin: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question

jun wu: Guess what number I’m thinking of.

shi qingxuan: 420?

jun wu: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.

hua cheng: 69.

jun wu: Yeah it was 69.

pei ming: What’s sexting?

he xuan: I'm not having this conversation with you.

hua cheng: So what do you have planned for the future?

yin yu: Lunch.

hua cheng: No, like long term.

yin yu: Oh...um, dinner?

[cruelprincae]

personals & non mutuals do not reblog or interact

[addisong]

I spent like an hour laying with the incorrect quote generator and this is what I was blessed with

Jesper: *pulls back the curtain while Wylan is showering* Jesper: Hey did we - stop screaming it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

Inej: Say no to drugs. Nina: Say yes to drugs. Matthias : It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs. If you're talking to drugs.. then you're on drugs.

Inej: So, what are we doing? Kaz: Wasting our lives. Inej: I meant for lunch...

Jesper : Do you ever think? Because I do not.

Kaz : Sweet dog you got there. Police: Yes, this is our new drug sniffing dog. Kaz : Still training huh? Police: What do you mean? Kaz : Kaz : Never mind.

[fikidufrog]

incorrect quote generators are a blessing in disguise

[seafoami]

Hero: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Kel. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Kel! Sunny: Nope. Hero: In that case, as the archbishop of Sunny's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Kel right on the lips!!!

Source: https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator

[that-one-i-think]

It was a lot of fun last time so I am going to do it again. WORLD BUILDING IN THE STYLE OF INCORRECT QUOTES! It is genuinely a good exercise that I do recommend because you don't have to take it seriously.

Background

Person A: Upper Class O'khasis/Scaleswind

Person B: Meteli/Phoenix Region - Traveler

Person C: South Tu'la but slightly North. General Tu'la tbh

Person D: Gal'ruk Sailor (where Travis is from)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person C: Wisdom has been trying to catch him but he can run faster than a cheetah.

Person D: He has clearly never been gifted by Enki, but the Divines still favor him

Translation: He is dumb but lovable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person A: That woman was clearly blessed by the matron.

Person B: I'll say

Person D: Aye, a woman who'd keep you warm on cold nights

Person C: *walks in* That woman has amazing breasts.

Person B: You guys don't do subtly, do you?

Person C: Absolutely not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person D: Talking with you is like fucking fresh snow.

Person B: Thank you?

Person A: So pleasurable before it starts biting?

Person D: Enki has clearly blessed you with the brains.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person B: Well, it's this or trying to find Kul'Zak. Either way it's a waste of fucking time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person A: He a man built for every social situation.

Person C: He paints on his stripes carefully

Person D: Even Enki themself couldn't tell the difference between him and an Imp.

Person B: This man is fake as hell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person D: They'd make a pretty scholar with their mind that clear.

Person A: Truly, a follower of Esmund. Devout to their beliefs.

Person B: Just say they don't fuck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person C: Trouble is sleeping, lets not wake it everyone.

Person B: What are you? My mom?

Person D: *Whispers to C* The heat from their head could fry an egg

Person A: I apologize. Common sense and B are unacquainted at best, foes at worst.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person D: I'm from Gal'Ruk, the only things to do are fish, freeze, or fuck. OF COURSE I CAN SWIM!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person D: *drunk* If it was between land or your thighs, I would swim so deep where not even Enki's all knowing eyes could see.

Person C: Thank you :D. You are very intoxicated.

Person B: What about me?

Person D: I would go to Tu'la and dry up in the desert.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person C: I saw a - a, what's the word.. do you know ꖎꖎᔑᒲᔑ ?

Person A: I apologize but I have no knowledge of that word. A what?

Person C: A snake sheep that spits and is angry. A very cursed being.

Person A: Do you mean a llama?

Person C: YES!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person A: Not even Esmunds protection could keep me safe from your annoyance.

Person B: I love you to

This is a lot of fun

[that-trans-autistic-guy]

Even More DBD as Incorrect Quotes from a Random Generator

Charles: So like, how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground? Edwin: Enough.

Crystal: I never said I was gonna get back together with them. But I was thinking, they're in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave them a call? Jenny: No. No, Crystal, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: a super volcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: Person F calls Person C. Number five: Niko gets eaten by a shark. Niko: I’m Niko, and I approve the order of that list.

Charles: Some people are like slinkies. Edwin: What? Charles: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. Edwin: Edwin: Please don't push the Cat King down the stairs. Charles, pushing the Cat King down the stairs: Too late.

Crystal: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed. Edwin: But you do know better.

Edwin: Ew. What kind of tea is this? Charles: I boiled gatorade.

Niko: Are you mad? Jenny: No. Niko: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

Charles: What the fuck is with english teachers and being like; "write a story about a deep and personal memory that impacted your life". Ma'am, if I do that you're going to send me to the counselor's office.

Crystal and Charles: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

Charles: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait. Edwin: You and me. Charles: *tearing up* Ok.

Crystal: Hey, can I get a sip of that water? Esther: It’s not water. Crystal: Vodka! I like your sty- Esther: It’s vinegar. Crystal: …What? Esther: It's vinegar, PUSSY.

Charles: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

Edwin: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees? Crystal: Bees? Edwin: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES! Crystal: Wait- *Charles approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

Jenny: What’s something you guys are better than Edwin at? Crystal: Mario Kart. Charles: Yeah, video games. Niko: Emotional vulnerability.

Charles: So apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually "Severe psychological distress."

Charles: You're a lying piece of shit! Crystal: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Edwin: I'm leaving and I'm taking Niko with me! Jenny, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

Charles: If you were to have sex with any insect scaled up to human size, what would it be? Jenny: What the hell is wrong with you?

Charles, about Edwin: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

Esther: *writing a letter* Esther: Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty... And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

Charles: How do those little boys on XBOX parties always know what slur to call you? Crystal: They're empaths.

Charles: Mama. Just killed a man. Charles: Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead. Charles: MAMAAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Edwin: What?! Let me hide the body, where is it? Is there anyone around that can hear us? Edwin: ...Are those song lyrics? Charles: Those are song lyrics.

Crystal: What’s the straightest thing you’ve ever done? Edwin: *sighs* Edwin: I killed a man.

Edwin: Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you.

Edwin: What's this? Charles, hugging Edwin: Affection! Edwin: Disgusting. Edwin: ...Do it again.

Edwin: If you've ever had a crush on me, god bless your poor, misguided heart.

Crystal: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why. Edwin: Only if you also don't ask why. Edwin: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of their bag* Crystal: ... Crystal, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

Niko: Source? Crystal: Divine intuition.

Crystal: Made you all playlists! Crystal: Jenny, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul. Crystal: Edwin, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression. Crystal: And Niko has the ABBA Gold album.

Charles, to Niko: You know, the Cat King can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. Charles: *blows airhorn at the Cat King* GET FUCKED!

Niko: Croissants: dropped Charles: Road: works ahead Crystal: BBQ sauce: on my titties Monty: Shavacado: fre Jenny: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead Edwin: Edwin: ...I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

[crazydaymycrazyway]

Pei Ming: Conflict and war is crucible through which we evolve

Pei Ming: *puts Feng Xin's mud covered shoes and walks all over Xuan Zhen palace*

Pei Ming: ho ho, let it begin

[incorrectpmmmquotes]

Hey, how are you? With the new movie coming out, my fixation for Madoka Magica and all the wonderful characters has come alive again. I found your blog, and full of such great content :) I was playing around with the incorrect quote generators and think I have some pretty good ones.. would it be okay if I submitted a handful of them? Just wanted to ask before I spam you with anything. And just to engage with the fandom again.. sorry for the paragraph.

Thank you and Take care :)

I'm sorry new movie?? I've been out of the madoka magica loop bc ive been obsessed w house md & game of thrones at the moment.

& omg yes! I fill the queue on irregularly and i'm still trucking through another huge submission blessing to that anon! So please submit!! <3

[c00kietin]

Me? Ranting? A very rare occasion.

(I'm not looking for attention or anything I just want to write out my frustrations- and some nice things that happened today :D)

LONG POST OF ME COMPLAINING BELOW:

Idk why my Spotify decided to let me listen to Careless Whisper while writing (really lmao) but yk-

I had a geography test first class- wasn't major but it wasn't the best way to start the day. Then, we were scurried off to this "wellbeing talk" which the vast majority of us thought would be about our mental health, e.g. stress and anxiety and stuff.

WRONG.

IT WAS PUBERTY.

Luckily not reproduction (I think everyone would have died then), but the topic of puberty makes me severely uncomfortable and extremely insecure about myself. The period talk and stuff was fine, but talking about body hair, hygiene, makes me really question if people find me disgusting. I already hate the way I look and it doesn't help when a woman names everything I hate about my looks.

So, for over an hour, I had my ears covered and back hunched while crying my eyes out, and it's not like my friends could have helped because we would get in trouble if we talked. All the teachers were seated at the back too so they couldn't even see me. The speaker herself was so annoying too, she had a microphone earpiece as well and said usual stuff they blame teenagers- "on screens too much", "thinks vaping is cool", and she said constantly said "okay?" in an irritating tone which got on my nerves.

Once it was finally over, we went back to our base classroom, and was now small lunch/small break (or whatever you call it, yk). I finally collapsed and one of my friends, bless her soul, got me my SNA (Special Needs Assistant) who got me to an empty class which she allowed me to stay in for a bit. Thank god, I eventually felt better and worked on my comic storyboard and eventually got back to classes- which were a drag, but weren't terrible.

At the end of the day I had German (the choice language I'm learning) and even though me and my friends couldn't present our German project in time we were able to hand out the lebkuchen me and my friend (Yercat, if you remember em :]) made which were tasty.

Oh yeah, almost forgot- after seeing some of my moots use the website (can't remember who in particular akdsfdhsfjdk) "Incorrect quote generator" I had loads of fun with that too today :>

I might draw some of the incorrect quotes I got- I also might post the comic storyboard so far if you guys want to see it! :D