#bless that incorrect quote generator

[jakascoo]

Dick: You kidnapped Jason?! That’s illegal! Damian: But Dick, what’s more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Jason, or giving up on our hopes and dreams? Dick: Kidnapping Jason, Damian! Duke: Dick, listen. However I feel about this, these guys are counting on you to inspire them! Dick: What, to kidnap people? Duke: To work together! Dick: To kidnap people?! Tim: Dick, we’ve all agreed that Jason is not a people.

[crazydaymycrazyway]

Feng Xin: I wasn't that drunk

Mu Qing: You tried to colour my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.

Feng Xin: Because you are!

[adventures-in-teyvat]

arlecchino: put a bunch of wrapped, empty presents under a christmas tree so that every time a child misbehaves you can throw one into the fire

dottore: what do i do when i run out of children

[hazelkjt]

"Taking Pride in your Work"

[muqingfx]

tgcf incorrect quotes but they're incredibly OOC and literally incorrect PART 2!

ling wen: My hands are cold.

feng xin: Here, let me hold them.

ling wen: My lips are cold too.

feng xin: covers ling wen's mouth with their hand

ling wen: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.

Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

qi rong: I'm trash.

ling wen: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?

qi rong:

qi rong: You smooth motherfucker.

qi rong: And yes it does.

ling wen: Nice rock.

shi qingxuan: Thanks, jun wu gave it to me.

jun wu: I threw it at you!

shi qingxuan: Aren't they the sweetest?

mu qing: I hate you with every inch of my body!

jun wu: That’s not a lot of inches.

shi wudu, ordering Starbucks: Hey, I just got my heart broken, what do you recommend?

yin yu, who’s running the drive thru: …

yin yu: Tequila.

qi rong: You saved me! Why?

shi qingxuan: People would think I murdered you if I didn't.

shi wudu: Welcome to my very first vlog, in which I try different hair products!

shi wudu: *sprays hairspray in their mouth*

shi wudu: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good.

mu qing: Are you trying to seduce me?

he xuan: Why, are you seducible?

he xuan: Why are you burning our marriage certificate!?

quan yizhen: Good luck trying to return me without a receipt.

qi rong: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this.

feng xin: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question

jun wu: Guess what number I’m thinking of.

shi qingxuan: 420?

jun wu: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.

hua cheng: 69.

jun wu: Yeah it was 69.

pei ming: What’s sexting?

he xuan: I'm not having this conversation with you.

hua cheng: So what do you have planned for the future?

yin yu: Lunch.

hua cheng: No, like long term.

yin yu: Oh...um, dinner?

[cruelprincae]

personals & non mutuals do not reblog or interact

[addisong]

I spent like an hour laying with the incorrect quote generator and this is what I was blessed with

Jesper: *pulls back the curtain while Wylan is showering* Jesper: Hey did we - stop screaming it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

Inej: Say no to drugs. Nina: Say yes to drugs. Matthias : It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs. If you're talking to drugs.. then you're on drugs.

Inej: So, what are we doing? Kaz: Wasting our lives. Inej: I meant for lunch...

Jesper : Do you ever think? Because I do not.

Kaz : Sweet dog you got there. Police: Yes, this is our new drug sniffing dog. Kaz : Still training huh? Police: What do you mean? Kaz : Kaz : Never mind.

[fikidufrog]

incorrect quote generators are a blessing in disguise

[zhongrin]

a guide to keep your writers feeling happy and appreciated: what to put on reblog comments/tags

note: you can (and are encouraged to!) mix & match these. and they're not just for reblogs ー we also welcome you into our ask box to drop these kind of asks <3

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

OMG I LOVE THIS

hflkazjsdklahsdlkajskljdklas

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

bless you op

thank you for the food. very delicious. will come again

ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgo

someone hold me i'm about to go feral

i need [character] to hold me

i am gobbling this like a starved squirrel who forgot to stock food throughout winter

iwillnotsimpiwillnotsimpiwillnotsim- i'm simping

i'm so normal about this. totally.

screaming yelling screeching

oh fucー

OMNOMNOMNOM

i liked the part where [insert scene here]

i like it when you [insert writer's writing style here]

@[friend] look.

[insert a quote from a character in the fic and your reaction here]

[insert a conspiracy theory of what happened behind the scenes with the characters here]

[insert any fan creation (fics, art, incorrect quotes, memes, etc) inspired by the fic here]

[a live description of play-by-play reactions as you read the fic]

this picture:

alternatively, any puppy/kitten/bunny pictures

DO NOT put:

part 2 when

do [character(s)] next

[insert comments that views us as a content machine and not a human being]

[insert unwanted criticism here]

[insert any sort of hate comments here]

as a general rule of thumb, remember that your writer is a fellow human and you should treat them with the way you want to be treated: love and respect <3

[nightshadow1607]

Aizawa: Let me see what you have

Vigilante Izuku: A KNIFE! :D

Aizawa: NO!

--

Kurogiri: If you kill a killer, the number of killers will stay the same

Himiko: Kill two

--

Hizashi, shining a flashlight under the bed: Shouta, are you ready to come out yet and interact with people?

Aizawa: *angry hissing noises*

Hizashi: Understandable, have a nice day

--

All for One: I’m here to kill you

Izuku: Hold on, let me ask All Might

All for One: That’s not how it works!

Izuku: He said no, and he’s coming over

--

Kaminari: *sneezes*

Nedzu, from the vents: Bless you!

Kaminari: God?

--

Vigilante Izuku: It’s not illegal if you don’t get caught!

Vigilante Shinsou: We’re literally being chased by the Eraserhead right now! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?!

--

Shigaraki: I invited both of you into the woods because I crave the most dangerous game

Vigilantes Izuku and Shinsou, nodding: Knife Monopoly

Shigaraki:

Shigaraki: I was actually going to hunt both of you for sport but now I’m in interested in whatever the fuck knife monopoly is

--

Aizawa: This is our son, Hitoshi

Hizashi: Yes, I’m aware

Aizawa: This is my other son you never met, Izuku

Hizashi:

Aizawa: And this is my lovely unicorn daugther, Eri

Hizashi: You can’t just adopt kids like stray cats!

Aizawa: Watch. Me.

--

Aizawa: Hizashi and I are having a baby

Shinsou: That’s gre-

Aizawa: *slams down adoption papers* It’s you. Sign here

--

Aizawa: I hope you three have an explanation for this

Todoroki: Actually...

Izuku: We have three!

Bakugou: Pick your favorite

--

Sero, setting down a card: Ace of Spades!

Kirishima, pulling out an Uno card: +4!

Kaminari, pullling out a Pokémon card: Pikachu, I choose you!

Bakugou, trembling: What are we playing?!

--

Uraraka: I think we are missing something

Izuku: Teamwork?

Iida: Cohesion?

Todoroki: A general sense of what we’re doing?

--

Izuku: *Gently taps table*

Bakugou: *Taps back*

Uraraka: What are they doing?

Tsu and Tokoyami: Morse code

Izuku: * Agressively taps table*

Bakugou: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK--

--

Izuku to Shinsou after he moved to class 1-A: I made you a friendship bracelet

Shinsou: I’m not really a jewellery person

Izuku: Oh, it’s okay. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t wan--

Shinsou: No, I’m wearing it forever. Back off

incorrect quotes because why not (part 7)

[that-one-i-think]

It was a lot of fun last time so I am going to do it again. WORLD BUILDING IN THE STYLE OF INCORRECT QUOTES! It is genuinely a good exercise that I do recommend because you don't have to take it seriously.

Background

Person A: Upper Class O'khasis/Scaleswind

Person B: Meteli/Phoenix Region - Traveler

Person C: South Tu'la but slightly North. General Tu'la tbh

Person D: Gal'ruk Sailor (where Travis is from)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person C: Wisdom has been trying to catch him but he can run faster than a cheetah.

Person D: He has clearly never been gifted by Enki, but the Divines still favor him

Translation: He is dumb but lovable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person A: That woman was clearly blessed by the matron.

Person B: I'll say

Person D: Aye, a woman who'd keep you warm on cold nights

Person C: *walks in* That woman has amazing breasts.

Person B: You guys don't do subtly, do you?

Person C: Absolutely not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person D: Talking with you is like fucking fresh snow.

Person B: Thank you?

Person A: So pleasurable before it starts biting?

Person D: Enki has clearly blessed you with the brains.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person B: Well, it's this or trying to find Kul'Zak. Either way it's a waste of fucking time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person A: He a man built for every social situation.

Person C: He paints on his stripes carefully

Person D: Even Enki themself couldn't tell the difference between him and an Imp.

Person B: This man is fake as hell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person D: They'd make a pretty scholar with their mind that clear.

Person A: Truly, a follower of Esmund. Devout to their beliefs.

Person B: Just say they don't fuck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person C: Trouble is sleeping, lets not wake it everyone.

Person B: What are you? My mom?

Person D: *Whispers to C* The heat from their head could fry an egg

Person A: I apologize. Common sense and B are unacquainted at best, foes at worst.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person D: I'm from Gal'Ruk, the only things to do are fish, freeze, or fuck. OF COURSE I CAN SWIM!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person D: *drunk* If it was between land or your thighs, I would swim so deep where not even Enki's all knowing eyes could see.

Person C: Thank you :D. You are very intoxicated.

Person B: What about me?

Person D: I would go to Tu'la and dry up in the desert.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person C: I saw a - a, what's the word.. do you know ꖎꖎᔑᒲᔑ ?

Person A: I apologize but I have no knowledge of that word. A what?

Person C: A snake sheep that spits and is angry. A very cursed being.

Person A: Do you mean a llama?

Person C: YES!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Person A: Not even Esmunds protection could keep me safe from your annoyance.

Person B: I love you to

This is a lot of fun

[crazydaymycrazyway]

Pei Ming: Conflict and war is crucible through which we evolve

Pei Ming: *puts Feng Xin's mud covered shoes and walks all over Xuan Zhen palace*

Pei Ming: ho ho, let it begin

[seafoami]

Hero: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Kel. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Kel! Sunny: Nope. Hero: In that case, as the archbishop of Sunny's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Kel right on the lips!!!

Source: https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator

[that-trans-autistic-guy]

Even More DBD as Incorrect Quotes from a Random Generator

Charles: So like, how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground? Edwin: Enough.

Crystal: I never said I was gonna get back together with them. But I was thinking, they're in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave them a call? Jenny: No. No, Crystal, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: a super volcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: Person F calls Person C. Number five: Niko gets eaten by a shark. Niko: I’m Niko, and I approve the order of that list.

Charles: Some people are like slinkies. Edwin: What? Charles: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. Edwin: Edwin: Please don't push the Cat King down the stairs. Charles, pushing the Cat King down the stairs: Too late.

Crystal: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed. Edwin: But you do know better.

Edwin: Ew. What kind of tea is this? Charles: I boiled gatorade.

Niko: Are you mad? Jenny: No. Niko: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

Charles: What the fuck is with english teachers and being like; "write a story about a deep and personal memory that impacted your life". Ma'am, if I do that you're going to send me to the counselor's office.

Crystal and Charles: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

Charles: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait. Edwin: You and me. Charles: *tearing up* Ok.

Crystal: Hey, can I get a sip of that water? Esther: It’s not water. Crystal: Vodka! I like your sty- Esther: It’s vinegar. Crystal: …What? Esther: It's vinegar, PUSSY.

Charles: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

Edwin: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees? Crystal: Bees? Edwin: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES! Crystal: Wait- *Charles approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

Jenny: What’s something you guys are better than Edwin at? Crystal: Mario Kart. Charles: Yeah, video games. Niko: Emotional vulnerability.

Charles: So apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually "Severe psychological distress."

Charles: You're a lying piece of shit! Crystal: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Edwin: I'm leaving and I'm taking Niko with me! Jenny, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

Charles: If you were to have sex with any insect scaled up to human size, what would it be? Jenny: What the hell is wrong with you?

Charles, about Edwin: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

Esther: *writing a letter* Esther: Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty... And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

Charles: How do those little boys on XBOX parties always know what slur to call you? Crystal: They're empaths.

Charles: Mama. Just killed a man. Charles: Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead. Charles: MAMAAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Edwin: What?! Let me hide the body, where is it? Is there anyone around that can hear us? Edwin: ...Are those song lyrics? Charles: Those are song lyrics.

Crystal: What’s the straightest thing you’ve ever done? Edwin: *sighs* Edwin: I killed a man.

Edwin: Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you.

Edwin: What's this? Charles, hugging Edwin: Affection! Edwin: Disgusting. Edwin: ...Do it again.

Edwin: If you've ever had a crush on me, god bless your poor, misguided heart.

Crystal: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why. Edwin: Only if you also don't ask why. Edwin: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of their bag* Crystal: ... Crystal, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

Niko: Source? Crystal: Divine intuition.

Crystal: Made you all playlists! Crystal: Jenny, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul. Crystal: Edwin, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression. Crystal: And Niko has the ABBA Gold album.

Charles, to Niko: You know, the Cat King can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. Charles: *blows airhorn at the Cat King* GET FUCKED!

Niko: Croissants: dropped Charles: Road: works ahead Crystal: BBQ sauce: on my titties Monty: Shavacado: fre Jenny: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead Edwin: Edwin: ...I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

[incorrectpmmmquotes]

Hey, how are you? With the new movie coming out, my fixation for Madoka Magica and all the wonderful characters has come alive again. I found your blog, and full of such great content :) I was playing around with the incorrect quote generators and think I have some pretty good ones.. would it be okay if I submitted a handful of them? Just wanted to ask before I spam you with anything. And just to engage with the fandom again.. sorry for the paragraph.

Thank you and Take care :)

I'm sorry new movie?? I've been out of the madoka magica loop bc ive been obsessed w house md & game of thrones at the moment.

& omg yes! I fill the queue on irregularly and i'm still trucking through another huge submission blessing to that anon! So please submit!! <3

[theangelwithawand]

Good Omens Incorrect Quotes Part 3:

Once again, I did not come up with these, I just have quote generator access…

Crowley : I'm having problems with a guy...

Anathema : Like his dead body won't fit into your trunk kind of problems, or you like him kind of problems?

*

Crowley : Who the fuck-

Aziraphale : Language!

Crowley : Whom the fuck-

Aziraphale : No.

*

Aziraphale and Crowley : I believe in you, Adam!

Adam, to themself: God, I must suck. The nicest thing they can think to say to me is that they don’t doubt my existence.

*

Aziraphale : There are some things beyond our understanding. We must accept them and learn from them. Because these moments of crisis are also potential moments of faith. A time, when we either come together or fall apart. Nature always has a way of balancing itself. The only question is, what part will we play?

Crowley : Did you just make that up?

Aziraphale : No. I read it in a fortune cookie once.

Crowley :

Aziraphale : A really long fortune cookie.

*

Crowley: Could you maybe just like… stab me… right in the gut. Just REALLY twist it in there. ‘Cause that honestly seems less painful than this conversation.

*

Aziraphale, texting Crowley: Text me when you’re home safely.

Crowley: I’m home dangerously.

Aziraphale: Stop it.

Crowley: I’m home lethally.

*

Gabriel : Pardon the intrusion, but-

Aziraphale or Crowley: On this moment or just my life in general?

*

Aziraphale: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water?

Crowley: Because your toast would get soggy!

*

Aziraphale: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!

Crowley: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!

*

Crowley, at Nina’s: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with um, seven espresso shots.

Mrs. Sandwich, in line behind them: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.

*

Crowley, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.

*

Aziraphale: I have very high standards, you know.

Crowley: I can make spaghetti...

Aziraphale: Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!

*

Crowley: You can do it Adam!

Crowley: But if you can't, at least your death will be quick, painless, and really cool to watch.

*

Crowley: *standing on a balcony and sneezes*

Aziraphale: *standing on the roof* Bless you.

Crowley: God?!

*

Crowley: I'm sorry. Please talk to me.

Aziraphale:

Crowley: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure?

Aziraphale: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking M&M’s.

*

Aziraphale: Is five a lot of followers?

Crowley: Depends on the context.

Crowley: On Instagram? No, not a lot of followers.

Crowley: In a dark alley? Yes, a lot of followers.

*

Crowley : You know what’s funny about Aziraphale ? They’re my best friend, and anyone who’d hurt them is someone I’d murder, probably.

*

Crowley : Are you busy?

Aziraphale : Yes.

Crowley : Cool, listen to this...

*

Aziraphale or Nina: How would you like your coffee?

Crowley: As dark as my soul.

Aziraphale or Nina: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

*

Crowley : I can’t believe all these people are wearing black. black is supposed to be my thing, they’re all just posers.

Aziraphale: Crowley, for the last time, we’re at a funeral.

*

Aziraphale: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this?

Crowley, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.

*

Crowley : *trying to get five seconds of sleep*

Aziraphale, poking Crowley ’s arm: Crowley Crowley . Crowley . Crowley .

Crowley : WHAT?

Aziraphale : …We’re out of Capri Suns—

*

Crowley : Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on themselves*

*

Crowley : *makes Aziraphale a cup of tea but puts salt in it*

Aziraphale : *sips tea*

Crowley :

Aziraphale : *finishes tea*

Crowley : Didn't it taste bad?

Aziraphale : Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Crowley, tearing up: Oh, okay.

*

Aziraphale : How petty can you get?

Crowley : I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

*

Aziraphale : Crowley, I beg of you. Please, PLEASE go to the doctor.

Crowley : Hey, I'm sorry. Is this OUR stab wound?

*

Crowley, to The Squad: You should change your passwords to “incorrect”. Then, every time you forget it, the system will remind you, “your password is incorrect”.

*

Aziraphale : Not to brag, but I can go into the Spirit Halloween without crying.

*

Crowley : I wanna sleep for 40 hours.

Aziraphale : You know that's called a coma, right?

Crowley :

Crowley : That sounds so refreshing, I could totally go for a light coma right now.

*

Aziraphale : Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Crowley : I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Aziraphale : But you’re always acting stupid?

Crowley : ...

Crowley : Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

*

Muriel : Hey, aren’t you Aziraphale ?

Aziraphale : You a cop?

Muriel : No.

Aziraphale : Then yes, I am.

*

Aziraphale : Crowley ! Have you no dignity?

Crowley : Of course not! How long have we known each other?

*

Aziraphale : What are you drinking?

Crowley : Vodka.

Aziraphale : Straight?

Crowley : No, gay. Why?

*

Aziraphale : So you like cats?

Crowley : Yeah.

Aziraphale : *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

*

Cop: You ran a red light.

Crowley : So did you, hypocrite.

Cop: I was following you.

Crowley : That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver.

Cop: Get out.

*

Aziraphale : What is the one thing I told you not to do?

Crowley : Burn the house down.

Aziraphale : And what did you do?

Crowley : I made dinner.

Aziraphale :

Crowley :

Aziraphale :

Crowley : And burnt the house down.

*

Aziraphale : Do you need help getting up?

Crowley : Nah, I'm cool down here on the floor.

*

Crowley : Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

*

Anathema: At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent.

Crowley : My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.

*

Aziraphale to Crowley : Turn that frown upside-down!

*a little while later*

Aziraphale : What are you doing?

Crowley , trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working .

*

Gabriel: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?

Crowley: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.