#blair likes arson

[blairlikesarson]

me hugging my comfort character, because his existence kept me going last week.

[blairlikesarson]

Gonna go burn down some cities with the little Dorito guy thingy I found, wish us luck!

😀👍

Hi I’m Blair, I like arson!

Me too kid! Me too.

[hsslilly-blog]

trying to figure out when exactly is it that blair and claire reconnect.. i think it’s around the time blair goes to uni and it should involve both of their mothers somehow. because everyone deserves a happy and nice and healthy relationship with their mother! 😁

[incorrectbatfam]

What tricks do the pets know?

Ace:

Operate the Batcomputer

Alert Bruce to possible threats

Microwave his own kibble

Speak multiple canine languages

Drag Bruce to bed

Do a headcount of the batfam before they go out

Use Bruce's credit card to buy chew toys

Titus:

Greet Damian

Secret handshake with Damian

Pose for Damian's drawings

Hug Damian

Comfort Damian

Retrieve lost batarangs for Damian

Put Robin costume in laundry for Damian

Guard Damian from the people in the TV

Reach tall shelves for Damian

Love Damian unconditionally

Alfred the cat:

Curl up around a tennis ball

Admire his reflection

Gaslight

Walk all over the dinner table

Bat-Cow:

Sit like a French girl

Do her 10-step skincare routine

Order a 4-course meal from Moober Eats

Unlatch the barn door

Book the private jet

Have a hot girl summer at the Running of the Bulls

Get caught in a love triangle between a bison and a buffalo

Spark an international conflict

Retreat to a Himalayan yak sanctuary on a journey of self-discovery

Meet a dashing steer only to realize they could never work out

Return home and put the plane back before anyone notices

Ghostwrite the next Nicholas Sparks novel

Goliath:

Sleep 20 hours a day

Breathe manually

Bite rocks

Jerry:

Be gay

Fall in love with plastic lawn flamingos

Attack the same flamingos

Peck people indiscriminately

Evade baths

Wiggles:

Ignore commands

Arson

Haley:

Shed all over the furniture

Run away from the vacuum

Weaponize puppy dog eyes

Convince Ace and Titus to share their treats

Clean out an entire jar of peanut butter in the time Dick takes to answer a phone call

Isis:

Bring rare birds to Selina

Leave scathing comments on dog videos

Cough up hairballs on demand

Blair Witch it in the corner of the room

Be bisexual

Eat hot chips

Lie

Dog:

Bark at nothing

Eat dirt

Play hide-and-seek with Jason's guns

Run into glass doors

Occasionally poop outside

Refuse to respond to her name

Chew her own tail

Meow for some reason

Moldy:

Help scientists discover new species of fungi

Induce vivid hallucinations

Cultivate an industrial society

BONUS – Krypto:

Chase airplanes

Aim for a fire hydrant from 50 feet up

Mark typos in Clark and Lois's drafts

Babysit Jon

[lookninjas]

Pick a Cure song from a bad description! You do not have to recognize the song to choose it. Go with whichever description tickles your fancy. Maybe you like it when Robert sings about his Bad Domme Experiences (kind of a Cure subgenre, tbh). Maybe you still fucking hate Bush and Blair. Maybe you just want to set something on fire and make out with someone.

At the end of a week, I will make a playlist out of the results of the poll, going from the song with the least amount of votes to the song with the highest amount of votes. If you would like to hear the playlist, let me know in the comments or in the tags on your reblog, and I will tag you at the end.

And please reblog the post! I mean, we're all listening to the Cure this week to prep for the new album, right? Why not listen to a curated list of some weirdo's favorite semi-deep cuts?

(new album this week you guys oh my god oh my god I never thought this day would come)

[blairlikesarson]

Blair please stop setting your aunt on fire.

*casually sets on fire*

AH BLAIR STOP!

[wrestlingisfake]

Why are you booing me? I'm right!

If you're worried about who's the babyface/heel in the Hangman Page/Swerve Strickland feud, keep in mind that "babyface" doesn't exactly mean "good guy" or "hero," and "heel" doesn't exactly mean "bad guy" or "villain."

The bottom line is that AEW decided to do a double-turn back in February, and the live crowds have (generally speaking) bought into it. Arguing that Swerve's actions were indefensible, or that Page's retaliation is justifiable, is beside the point. What matters is that fans want to cheer for Swerve and boo for Hangman. The question isn't whether either character deserves that reaction, but why they're receiving it.

Swerve's face turn is subtle, but clear. When Hangman complained that he lost the first two matches due to interference, Swerve didn't have to tell Nana to stay out of the third match, but he did anyway. When the match went to a draw, Swerve wanted more five more minutes, just like the fans. When both of them failed to beat Samoa Joe for the world title, Swerve didn't waste time with excuses and grudges--he just focused on getting another chance to beat the heel and win the big one. These are all things fans appreciate, even if you're a total scoundrel. Fans like wrestlers who want to do something cool, and then get it done.

Page's heel turn is more nuanced than the typical routine of "I'm Blair St. Claire, and I'm a bad girl now!" He's right to be angry about what Swerve did to his family, but (in kayfabe) his family can't possibly be better off living with his all-consuming obsession. He's right to be frustrated that he hasn't defeated Swerve in the ring, but that attitude has only hurt his win-loss record and made it harder to avenge those defeats. It's understandable that he wants revenge, but that does not justify what he's done to various people who innocently happened to be between him and Swerve. More crucially, nothing Page can do to Strickland on September 7 is going to solve any of these problems. Fans generally turn on wrestlers who can't get the job done, or interfere with the wrestlers who can.

In light of that, Swerve's crimes and Hangman's crimes actually start to seem fairly different. I'm not trying to make excuses for Swerve here, but realistically no one got hurt when he left a T-shirt in that crib. He wanted to play mindgames heading into the match, it worked perfectly, and he knew he wasn't going to hurt anybody (except Page, later, in the ring). On the other hand, Hangman had no way of knowing--and clearly couldn't care less--if his arson might get some innocent person killed. And for what? Even if he wins the match, it won't fill the void Swerve carved out of his soul last year. For better or worse, Hangman can't really win as long he's consumed with vengeance--all of his actions are ultimately self-defeating. And people want to root for a winner.

[arsonisticnesswriter]

Introduction and Eproctophilia Fandoms

Hello! I'm Arson, and I made this blog to discuss eproctophilia (fart fetish) scenarios for my favorite female characters. Find fandoms under the cut! If you're more into guys, that's just fine - M/F fart scenarios, especially between couples, are some of my favorites.

I also love roleplay, which I have been doing consistently for almost ten years! If you'd like to roleplay or chat, send me a DM.

Of course, I also love just discussing gassy scenarios - I'll try to post some of my favorites, and I'd enjoy receiving some too. Ask me anytime!

Here are some fandoms I'm interested in:

(Everything in bold-underlined will be things I've seen and are experienced in writing. Bold is things I've seen but am not well-experienced in RPing. Mere italics are things that I know mostly from osmosis but have not sat down and watched myself.)

Anime

Demon Slayer

Mob Psycho 100

My Hero Academia (fave)

Naruto (fave)

One Punch Man

Pokemon

Soul Eater (fave)

Spy x Family (fave)

Fullmetal Alchemist (manga and Brotherhood) (fave)

One Piece (fave)

Komi Can’t Communicate

Kaguya-sama: Love is War (fave)

Bleach (fave)

Chainsaw Man

Jujutsu Kaisen

Black Lagoon

Berserk

Hunter x Hunter (not much interest in RPing, but I’ve watched it)

Dorohedoro

DR. STONE

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Vinland Saga

Attack on Titan

Nintendo

Mario

Metroid

Pokemon

Super Smash Bros.

The Legend of Zelda (fave - BOTW and TotK)

Fire Emblem: Three Houses (fave)

SEGA

Sonic the Hedgehog (Vanilla and Rouge are faves)

Misc. Video Games

Overwatch

Street Fighter (unfamiliar, but Chun Li is fucking hot and I did an RP once)

Undertale

Borderlands

Hades

Mass Effect (Tali)

Baldur’s Gate 3 (fave)

Disney

Gravity Falls - Pacifica 

Lilo and Stitch - Nani

The Incredibles - Helen

The Owl House (haven’t watched much, but I’ve seen some killer aged-up fanart lol)

Cartoon Network

Steven Universe (haven’t watched Future - mostly interested in Lapis/Peridot)

Nickelodeon

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Netflix

Arcane

She Ra: Princesses of Power (fave)

Miraculous Ladybug (fave)

Comics

DC (mostly unfamiliar, but I like Batman/Catwoman)

Book Series

A Song of Ice and Fire (I’m on A Feast for Crows currently)

Other

Eight Marbles 2X 

Castlevania (Western Animation)

Spiderverse (both movies)

Popular Fart OCs (Tenn’s Ophelia, Drifter’s Yuki, and GoBrush’s Blair just to name a few)

[chaserainbows]

Reasons why the Amano Cinematic Universe would get cancelled on social media

Lucas: He'd simply not get cancelled

Aaron: Spreading misinformation about Drapion and Flygon being Bug-types

Blair: Being a truecrime fan

May: Having a secret personal account where she talks shit about people

Barry: Shoplifting

Cole: Arson

Anabel: Trash talking people after they lose to her in the Battle Tower

Calem: No actual reason but people will still act like he's the devil

Mindy: Selling pink sauce

Dawn: Witchcraft

Sidney: Being a bad influence upon the youth

[blairlikesarson]

bro really thought that not wearing socks is going to stop me. Oh look your rooms on fire now. Have fun dealing with that!

*casually sets socks on fire*

TRICK QUESTION, IM NOT WEARING SOCKS >:]

[blairlikesarson]

LOOK AT MY SON! he came in yesterday when I came home from work and I’m so happy! Like brooo I love him sm, he’s such good quality too! And he’s an epic cuddle buddy. I will cherish him forever and ever! Welcome to the family N!

[blairlikesarson]

haha yes I did! 😀👍

it doesn’t matter where I set the fire, just that there’s a fire that’s been set!

I like arson ya know….

*casually sets house on fire*

…

Did you just… did you just set a homeless shelter on fire? Because I don’t have a house.

[procrastination20]

Imagine if there were academies other than Umbrella Academy...

I made one. It's called 'The Orchard Academy'.

I love creative liberties.

^apple tree pic I stole off of Google that I re-colored and put a circle around it because I can't draw. (please don't sue me).^

Head Mistress: Fiona McClancy II. (Nice strict old grandma. basically mom. A good parent unlike Hargreeves)

Caretaker/ Butler: Keva. She's a tabaxi. (Cat human thing)

THE POWER KIDS

#1. Greer McClancy: - Nature Control (hurricane Katrina? More like hurricane tortilla).

#2. Harvey McClancy: - Shapeshifter (I don't want to be human so I'll be a squirrel.)

#3. Bryn McClancy: 'Luck' - Unnaturally good luck (definition of dad's wearing stuff that say 'this is my lucky ____' on saint Patty's day and it actually being lucky)

#4. Maverick McClancy 'Fire eyes' - Energy Repulsion (arson is my middle name).

#5. Ida McClancy: 'Dupe' - Replication (ctrl c ctrl v)

#6. Amelia McClancy: 'Voice' - Vocal Enchantment (I seduce men by singing like a siren only I don't eat them)

#7. Blair McClancy: Bully - Vicious Mockery (I will insult you to death. Literally)

#8. Lukas Mcclancy: Fake - Invisibility/ Illusionist (you see me? no tf you don't.)

#9. Harriette McClancy: Sense - Animalistic/ Hieghten senses. (the master of knowing what you had for breakfast this morning hours later based on your smell).

....

There are a lot more details about their powers and such. Those are just a basics of what they can do. I could go into more detail about their personalities based off of their powers but I don't think anyone will read this.

If y'all have anything you'd like to say it would be greatly appreciated and I wanna know what other people think about there being more academies.

Love you guys!

Complicated 💜

[kiokodoodles]

Incorrect Quotes but it’s the mage OCs that I still need to talk more about

For reference on what the OCs look like: https://kiokodoodles.tumblr.com/post/672444868320264192/you-know-what-i-like-you-revamps-you-to-be-some

Drew: I made tea. Felix: I don’t want tea. Drew: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea. Felix: Then why are you telling me? Drew: It is a conversation starter. Felix: That’s a lousy conversation starter. Drew: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

-

'Can I copy the homework?' Jordan: I can help you with it! Midori and Nora: Yeah, sure. Drew: Bold of you to assume I did the homework. Blair: lol nope. Kimiko: Wait, we had homework?!?!?! Felix: *Read 5:55pm*

-

Nora: Dumbest scar stories, go! Jordan: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Blair: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. Midori: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Drew: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Felix: Felix: I have emotional scars. 

-

Calypso: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world! Kimiko: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment. Felix: More or less, I guess... Jordan: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that! Drew: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept. Nora: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!

-

Felix: All of your existences are confusing. The mages: How so? Felix: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

-

Felix: I’m the smartest person in my friend group. Blair: You hang out with Jordan, Nora, Drew, and Midori. Blair: It’s not as high a compliment as you think.

-

Nora: The floor is lava! Midori: *helps Kimiko onto the counter* Jordan: *kicks Felix off the sofa* Drew: *lays on the floor* Nora: ...Are you okay? Drew: No.

-

Felix: Stressed. Blair: Depressed. Kimiko: Possessed. Midori: Obsessed. Jordan: Impressed. Nora: Chicken breast. Everyone: ...What? Nora: I just wanted to join in.

-

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one* Nora: I will not let you down. Drew: Sounds fun. Blair and Jordan: K. Felix: No, I'm fucking not. Kimiko: Do I have to be? Midori: Please god, I am so tired.

-

Blair: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them? Midori, watching Nora screaming, Felix trying to set a sleeping Drew on fire, and Kimiko choking on air: I don't know either.

-

Jordan: So, did everyone learn their lesson? Drew: No. Midori: I did not. Nora: I may have actually forgotten one. Blair: Also no. Jordan: Oh good, neither did I. Felix: *Exhausted sigh*

-

Felix: We have a problem. Drew: Let me guess, you caused it? Blair: Gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this yet. Nora: And it's another Tuesday, your point? Midori: Would shooting you solve this problem? No? Then shut up. Jordan: If you're mean the fire, that's our solution to last week's problem.

-

Jordan: Wait, hold up, why you draw yourself like that? Nora: Uh, like what? Jordan: Like with gorgeous, muscular legs. Nora: Uh, this is what I look like. Jordan: Nora: THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE! Jordan: Okay, then I want big beefy arms. Hot ones. Kimiko: I wanna have a cowboy hat! Nora: Okay, arms and hat. *draws them* Blair: Ooh, give me a cowboy hat too! Nora: You can't just take Kimiko's hat idea, Blair! They thought it up all by themself like a good person! Come up with your own thing! Blair: BUT I WANNA LOOK COOL! Midori: Put Blair on one of those stupid baby tricycles. Blair: NO!! Nora: Tricycle, done. *draws it* Drew, want anything? Drew, making finger guns: Pew pew. Nora: A blaster?! No, that's not really our style, Drew. Drew, making finger guns: Pew pew. Nora: You know what, okay. *draws it* But it's just for holding, not for shooting.

-

Felix: If you got arrested what would be the charges? Midori: Theft. Blair: Disturbing the peace. Nora: Aggravated assault. Drew: Arson. Kimiko: All of the above. In that order, probably.

-

Blair: Between Nora, Kimiko, Drew, Felix, and Midori -- if you had to -- who would you punch? Jordan: No one! They're my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them. Blair: Felix? Jordan: Yeah, but I don't know why.

-

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’* Nora: Thanks fam! Drew: Oh no. Jordan: *cries* I love you too. Midori: Sounds fake, but okay. Blair and Kimiko: *A flustered mess* Felix: Can I get a refund?

[marvelousmatt]

Steven Toast: ‘My dream role would be the lead in any of Shakespeare’s Henrys’

FEATURES

JAN 28, 2022

BY TIM BANO

From growing up in the tallest castle in the world, to becoming Britain’s finest actor in high-winds and now crossing the pond to appear in the next Star Wars movie, actor Steven Toast tells Tim Bano about moments that have made up his theatre career

When Shakespeare’s Globe burned down seven years ago after an infamous all-dog production of Twelfth Night, as chronicled in the TV show Toast, fingers were pointed towards a certain actor, and many thought it would be curtains for the career of Steven Toast (Editor’s note: The Stage is legally obliged to state that Toast’s involvement in the arson was never proven).

But with a recent move to Hollywood and a rumoured role in the latest Star Wars film, Force the Wind, it looks like we will be raising a glass to Toast once more.

The mercurial actor, recently called “a talentless prat” by Greta Thunberg on account of his climate scepticism, may not rank highly among other actors of his generation. He will not be remembered for as long as more charismatic peers such as  Ray Purchase. But he is certainly an actor, by some definitions.

Born into a rich naval family, Toast grew up in the tallest castle in the world. His father, Colonel Gonville Toast, never approved of his son’s decision to become an actor and always told people he was dead. Despite the adversity he faced as a child, Toast managed to forge a career on the boards and in our ears, known as much for his performances in the West End as his voice work, including an unusual audiobook of the Bible. Steven Toast and Axel Jacklin (Britain’s previous best high-winds actor)

Steven Toast and Axel Jacklin (Britain’s previous best high-winds actor)

Why did you want to become an actor? Where did that interest in the world of theatre begin?

My father, as you may or may not know, was quite high up in the Royal Navy, which meant my brother Blair and I were stationed at various locations all over the world throughout our childhood. While staying in Calcutta, I remember my father taking us to the local market square to watch the thieves being flogged. I remember being struck by the sheer drama of the spectacle and noticed how everybody couldn’t take their eyes off the flog man. I knew there and then that I wanted to be involved in that kind of thing, or something similar.

You seem to come from quite a privileged background. Has that helped you in your career?

Not in the least. If anything, it’s hindered my efforts to be taken seriously as an actor. The profession has always been largely made up of left-wing, almost communist, types who don’t take kindly to one having access to money. What they don’t realise is that if it’s obvious one has money, then one really does not, for those with serious money hide it so not to be killed. They also can’t deal with the fact that both my father and brother have taken part, and sometimes led, every major battle/war since the Second World War.

Have you ever won any awards?  

No. But I have been nominated, and have also appeared on a nomination long list, as I believe it’s called.

Why did you choose RADA for your training? What was your time there like?

I chose RADA at a time when it was not fashionable. I was studying during a summer of love, when learning your craft was considered ‘square’ by other young actors – all of whom incidentally are now working in hotels or programming dire displays of turgid ‘entertainment’ somewhere outside a large town.

You are renowned as one of Britain’s finest exponents of acting in high winds. How did you train for this?

Thank you. I practised by standing/rehearsing in very high-winds situations, usually at the end of a pier, while managing to concentrate on my dialogue, posture and predicament.

Toast’s rival Ray Purchase, agent Jane Plough and housemate Ed Howzer-Black

Which actors do you most – and least – admire?

All of the actors I admire are long dead. People I doubt you would have heard of such as Wilkie Goodprize, Abbott Pooneye and, not forgetting, Mal Focus.

Which is your favourite theatre to act in and why?

Possibly Wyndham’s, due to its steep auditorium. It’s good to see everyone’s faces. Unless of course you’re in a stinker, which I was a few years ago at the Trafalgar Studios where I could see every couple in the audience look at each other making that cut-throat gesture signifying a decision not to return for Act II. Literally soul destroying.

What would be your dream role on stage?

It sounds obvious and not particularly interesting but the lead in any of Shakespeare’s Henrys. That, or the part of the author in a stage adaptation of the film Misery (not really).

Why did you decide to move to the US? What’s it like finding work over there? Is it an advantage being a classically trained British actor?

An advantage? Not a bit. I’ve only just got here and to be honest it’s not been easy so far. I’ve been exposed to some very off-colour, some might say bizarre, situations. It’s not (as yet) proved to be the Tinseltown I’d imagined.

Do you have any superstitions or rituals?

Many, but not any I would share in The Stage due to the certain ridicule I would receive on any forthcoming job.

You once lost £20,000 to Andrew Lloyd Webber in a celebrity poker game. When, how and why?

It’s all been well documented and I’ve no wish to bring any of that up again due to the heavy-handed litigation practices Lloyd Webber employs, nor do I wish to give the man a second more of free publicity.

Matt Berry plays Steven Toast in Toast of Tinseltown on BBC Two and iPlayer

[paralianprince]

"You had me right up until 'in leaves', if we're bein' honest! Birds, wind, creaky shit, got all that. But, like-- yeah, actually!"

He rips the outer plastic casing off one of the popcorn bags and slaps it into the microwave. With the thought of, instead of asking his guest to decide on one thing or the other, Peter can maybe take the pressure off by just offering him everything all at the same time!

"One of my friends lives in the deepest part of the Blair Witch Woods, and I've visited, so, technically, yeah! Well-- he don't live there exactly, but, it's daft and complicated to explain. The stuff he represents is there and that's the main thing. Terribly out of the way-- though not quite as bad as me-- but a few years ago he got set to arson again and so I made the trip over to help out with the repairs! I even got to carry him part of the way, else I'd've surely gotten lost, had I been on my own."

"So, like, trust me, I've seen more than enough trees now to make up for it. I know a fourth probably sounds like a lot to you-- as a fourth of your life would be, like, a lot-- but it weren't so bad! Seein' cities for the first time was loads worse, and in retrospect probably also way funnier."

The joke gets a chuckle out of him, but he's more enthralled by the process of Peter fetching snacks. They seem to be everywhere, dragged out from the most unlikely places as though half the room were secretly edible, like those kitschy gameshows they had now. Is it cake? Is it chocolate? Is the beanbag chair he's sitting on right now filled with actual beans they could soak and fry? Where else could it all be hidden? He's so enraptured in this parade of hidden food that, when Peter's comment finally sinks in, it hits like a truck. His voice catches in his throat. ". . .a-a fourth of your life?" Twenty-something years, he said. So he's a bit over eighty. Raivis knew he was older than his micronation and he showed as much on the timeline, but it wasn't exactly to scale. He didn't measure out the years with perfect precision. Now, having a number, he could confirm that Peter was around for the war. His first memories were of war, and he was at sea for twenty-plus years.

Was the fort manned that long after the war? It seemed unlikely, especially since the Royal Navy wouldn't be eager to welcome aboard civilians and hand over their property to make some 'new country.' There wasn't. . . a violent takeover, was there? Surely not. Again, they wouldn't still be around if they'd fought the Royal Navy to illegally commandeer a fort. Logically, it had to be unmanned, though he had no way of knowing for how long unless he looked it up. He would have assumed Arthur brought Peter to shore with him when the fort was decommissioned, but if Peter didn't see trees for twenty years- Raivis felt like he connected pieces he was never meant to connect.

"Th-That is awfully long time to go without seeing trees!" he manages, trying to shelve this new half-baked information to the back of his mind until he could properly work with it. It was no good, jumping to conclusions with such sensitive topics, and he was nowhere near close enough to ask for details on the off chance that he turns out to be correct. He takes the lemonade, swirling it before cracking it open and taking a sip to ease his suddenly-dry throat. "But I mean forests. Grasslands. I-I am not talking about a batch of trees on roadside -- I mean where all the noise of modern world is long gone and all you hear are birdsongs and creaks and wind in leaves. I mean, you know. . . w-wilderness. Have you ever been hiking?"