#bhaal-battle-beer-bard

[judasiskariot]

"You can't put a price tag on knowledge ☝🏻️😌" - Gale of Waterdeep

Retail worker: Yes. Yes you can. These books and scrolls cost 650 gold. Are you paying now, Mr. Dekarios, or do we have to notify your mother again? Gale: NO! Not my mother! Alright. I will leave this three books here and only buy the rest than 😭

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

BG3 Companions at the zoo

Wyll: Shadowheart, you can't keep the squirrels.

Wyll: Lae'zel stop licking the frog! Drop it!

Lae'zel: 🐸👅😒

Wyll: Barcus hands off Wulbren, he is not into you! Drop him now!

Barcus: 👅👄 *tongue out in front of Wulbren's face*😨

Tiefling Tav: Barcus, I've got another gnome for you! 😃😃

Wyll: Tav,this is a child, not a gnome.😪🤦🏼‍♂Drop it!

Tiefling Tav: Oh 😯😔

Wyll: 🫵🏻ASTARION! DROP THE GOATS NOW!!!!🫵🏻

Astarion: 🐐 😨 *two goats under his arms*

Halsin: 🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🏃‍♀💨🏃🏾‍♂️💨 *runs towards them; carrying 10 ducks* Run! RUN! The ducks are for free!

Karlach: Than why are we running?

Halsin: The guards see it differently.

Wyll: 😪🙄🤦🏼‍♂ *pulls out a list* 📝Alright let's see...on the list of the places we are banned from we have now:

- Zoo

- Cemetery; because Astarion and Tav always do inappropriate things there (Astarion; Oh yes😏Tav let's go to my grave NOW )

- Library; because Gale always moans too loudly when he reads books (Gale; It's not my fault they have such a good selection of interesting books. This is extremely erotic)

- All gnome and children celebrations (Tav; I am so sorry that this keeps happening, but they really look the alike, don't they?)

- All Shar AND Selune temple (Shadowheart; They know what they did 🙄😠😤)

- Flaming Fist training camp; because Lae'zel keeps making them cry (Lae'zel; Chk, weaklings!🙄😒)

- Fireworks shop (Karlach; I'm sorry guys)

Did I forget something?

[aristenfromwarsaw]

Kiss me, kiss me... <3

Beautiful Dark Urge belongs to @judasiskariot aka @bhaal-battle-beer-bard 🥰.

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

Astarion Headcanon

Because of their night at Astarion's grave, Tav always gets horny at cemeteries.

Because of Tiefling Tav, Astarion always gets horny at petting zoos.

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

Gale aesthetic

Here the bardic aesthetic version of the Gale poem "Wash my pain away" did for @alpydk 's Book of Gale

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

Astarion: *yelling* GODS! Why did you wash my suede doublet and my merino wool clothes with the other laundry?! What were you thinking?! 😡🤬 Tav: *yelling back* Well I don't know Astarion, since when do sheeps shrink when they get wet, huh?! I have never seen cow or sheep saying 'Oh no rain! When I get wet my skin and wool is ruined forever and I have to die' 🤷‍♀️ Astarion: Yes...but you DO EXACTLY KNOW that this is something different!!! Tav: Why is this different?!

*30 minutes later*

Wyll + Halsin: 🤔 Ehm Astarion...what are you doing with the sheeps in our bathtub? 🤔 Tav: There is a logical explanation for this... Astarion: Don't look at me like that - I have something to prove to my partner! Don't judge me for being in a relationship! Wyll: Well if it works for them to argue like that 🤷‍♂️ Halsin: Yes, as long as they don't break up ☺️

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

Volo don't!

Tav: At least, let's listen to what Gortash has to say. Volo: It is pronounced [Goːrtɑːʒ] 🤌🏻 🫴🏻 Gortash: 🤨 No it's not 😐

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

Gortash: By the big dick of Bane! Ehm..I meant The Edict of Bane!

Durge: 😲 🫢 Well watch your mouth there handsome young man 🤭 Or I will have to clean it...and you do not know with what😏

...

Durge: *whispering* It is my big dragon penis.

Gortash: 😃😍

Ketheric: *standing in the background* 😑 *only wants to die - NOW - ASAP - Myrkul please* 😑

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

Individual...refuses...to comment...on dragons.

Volo - questioning Lord Enver Gortash

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

🌌Gale Poetry🌌 - 🔮Wizard of Waterdeep aesthetic

The manuscript Version of my Gale poem "Flaming Stardust - Diamond flood of cosmic light".

Now that this project is done, does anyone else want a place in my poetry book? Any requests? Prompts?

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

hellooooo my love! can you do a perfume for Doe please babes?

here she is. half high elf bard. fave colour is red, fave flower is foxglove, fave food is cherries, she loves golden hour, autumn. she's stubborn and determined but also sweet and gentle 💜

Of course I will my dear 😃🤩 Nothing would give me greater pleasure 😊

I see her in the golden hour bathing in the red glowing light of sun, covered by leafs of the golden autumn forest.

🍯🍒🍊🦊

Looking into her eyes I get the taste of a warm but expressive scent.

🌻🍁🍂🍃

Head notes: sunflower, mandarins, orange blossoms

Heart notes: cardamom, licorice root, cherries, gardenia, magnolia

Base notes: amber, sandalwood, oakmoss, a hint of cinnamon

🌻🍁🍂🍃

That is Doe's perfume for me 😊

What would you like to name it? Let me know! 😃

May I suggest:

Golden Hour

Or

Golden Hour At The Dawning Forest

Or let me hear your name ideas 😃

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

The Wizard of Waterdeep - Gale Poetry for @alpydk

Flaming stardust - Diamond flood of cosmic light

Gale of Waterdeep Poetry

Is it a foolish human mistake to believe in love? Stars and gods above Hearts of the mortals below Can you be my true love’s show? I want to see you so bad, love you so bad Even an illusion of you Is it sad or is it true? The fading cosmic light of a dying star in your chest Were you cursed, or were you blessed? Tell me chosen one, Will there be a flaming flood of thousand dying stars when you are gone? Show me where the night leads Show me where the night falls Before the world gives us its turn back calls Return to a world of sorrows, danger and fear Blood and pain all over this sphere Let us forget about that for tonight Only tonight Filled with endless potential in our sight Your enthusiasm brings me the stars In our eyes, in our hearts With obsidian comet shards in your hand, Glistening stardust in your eyes where you stand, Devouring flames of love on your lips, Pulsar light of endless nights between your ribs, The ocean under the waning crescent moon in your soul, The diamond flood of stars in your heart’s lunar pole The pain will always wash away

for @alpydk

You had no specific prompt, so I decided to put a little angst into the mix 😉 a tiny little bit at least

[judasiskariot]

I am considering to make a Baldur's Gate 3 Bard sideblock.

To write headcanons and incorrect quotes.

Where you can commission me to write bard songs or poems about your favourite BG3 character or your Tav.

Take writing requests for some funny art trade.

UPDATE:

For so far the most of you voted for YES, I created the BG3 bard blog under @bhaal-battle-beer-bard

🌙🌒✒️🍺🍻🥂🍾📜⚔️🗡🍷

Come and visit 😃😁

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

Gale: Please don't push me, I have yogurt in my backpack 🙏🏻🎒

Astarion: By the sweet hells, why do you have yogurt in your backpack?! Who would do that?!

Gale: I wanted to make cheese...and miscalculated.

Astarion: HA! 😏 Doesn't enough cheese and quark come out of your mouth when you talk? 😈 HAHA 🤣😂

Gale: 😤

*ONE MOMENT LATER*

Tav: Astarion? Why are you a goose?

Goostarion: Honk. I mean...I don't want to talk about it.

Yeah that's how Goostarion happened...

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

Do you BG3 fanart artists need another idea?

Gale: My condition requires a delicate touch. One artefact for now!

Tav: I'm on it! You get the next suitable artifact I find!

Gale: Most unhelpful! In that case, I shall have to seek my own salvation. Elsewhere.

Tav: ...

Gale: Perhaps I'm not conveying the urgency of the situation. It's incredibly, world-shatteringly important you give me a suitable artefact. ‼️😡

Tav: ...🤨😠😑 *hands him Drescher's toe ring* Here for you Gale. But it is extremely important that you suck slowly on this artifact.

Astarion: *whispering* Isn't this the toe ring from the goblin's foot from earlier?

Tav: 🤫 Psssssssst 🤫 Sush sush shush!

Gale: You've finally come to your senses, Tav, and see that this is the most important concern of our group.☝🏻️

Astarion: You have to suck it like a hard candy that it works, Gale! 🍬🍭

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

A Moment Of Truth

Your hand, your skin, each of your fingers Just the illusion, the hint of a touch from you sends me to heaven Makes me wretched thing being the heaven closer than ever before, than I ever thought possible But if your hand only touches me, while your heart doesn't feel me, I never want to be touched again If I'm just anyone, Then I'd rather be nobody to you To anyone Will I ever be someone to anyone? Something more? Possibly everything? The One? Like they call it… You seem a million miles away You say "Don't worry, it's nothing. I'm just holding back." Then why can't I feel you? How long can we maintain in this shaky star construct of lies? Your cold body doesn't make me shiver, but your cold, untouched heart does I don't want you to feel me only somehow or other, That I'm anyone, like everyone else, a meaningless body in a faceless crowd If you don't feel me in your heart, then I'll give up touching you forever

If I'm just anybody to you, in the end I'm nobody, Then I don't want to be at all Because to me you are everything The One & Only Forever If you don't see who I am and don't let me see who you are, Then I'll give up on us Just the hint of a touch and more the wisp of a fading memory In the end everything breaks And only tears remain when your lies come to light With you I taste life and breathe the air of being But it is only doomed to end like everything else Nothing lasts forever and it will break Should we live a lie? Isn't each one a sweet lie and sin? Why does the truth have to hurt so much? Or was it the lies from the start? When your construct of lies collapses and only ashes remain of your empire of lies, Was it worth it? Just one honest word from you would be enough... Just one word... Let me go or fight forever and stay by your side Say something, why can't I hear you? Your voice is so quiet when it's trying to break through a hurricane But I'm here Believe me, I am here to hold your hand If you look through the veil of your pain, you will see that I am not far away and all you have to do is reach out your hand and take mine There is no hurricane. No storm. No cutting winds. No pain. We can argue and shout, And run away from each other, bickering and insulting, But when you hold me in your arms at the end of the day to fall asleep, kissing my forehead, Then I know I'm yours Because you are mine The One The Only Forever And then it's worth it Worth it all I'm not nobody, And even if I'm invisible to everyone else, a ghost in the faceless crowd, It doesn’t matter, because I'm somebody to you So you stand still And you and I face each other Eye to eye And you see me You see who I am And I see who you are For who you truly are In this breath of life, In this moment of truth

➹word count: 554

➹🎶 listening 🎶while reading

➹ "Kissing every one of your ridges" Aftermath - Tav thinking about Astarion after his reveal that sleeping with them was only a trick&bad habbit; or also Astarion thinking about Tav? Or see it as dialogue of the thoughts of Tav and Astarion, interpret it in every way that pleases you

➹pictures: all of course by the talented aristenfromwarsaw on tumblr; her pics of Astarion&Aristen reminded me so much of “Firefly” from Breaking Benjamin, that I started to listening to them non stop again and their songs inspired sad emotional writing as tribute to their words&music

➹a/n: Normally my Astarion&Tav Saulus pairing is not so dramatic. Their dynamic is full of shenanigans and fun like “Dare you”-games to bring Lae`zel to lick things or Saulus dancing the stupidest most unerotic revue dance with Sceleritas' hat on to distract enemies with Astarion to say “I am the only man you will ever dance this for again!”

But listening to(o much) Breaking Benjamin again brought me in my old writing patterns because of the writing vibing and mood from back then.

So it is possible that there is more overtheatrical, dramatic, deep emotional poetry coming.