#being loved without having to beg for it
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im doing so bad every day got me like
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first xander brought her back with human breath and determination... then willow with supernatural power and love.... smth smth two halves to keep their third in balance from drifting too far into either side and losing herself.....
#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I'M FUCKING BEGGING FOR A GOOD FIC ABOUT THESE THREE THAT ISN'T JUST SMUT PLEASE!!!!!!!1!!!!#I can'ttt stop thinking about them I don't even have anything coherent to say#even with other partners it's still THEM THREE they're so !!! it's just them. three. always#s7 just ruined me guys I missed them so much#still thinking about xander's stupid quip about how he always brings her back from the dead#if u tell me willow only resurrected her cause they were all insecure without buffy to throw her weight around sunnydale...#they LOVE her. so much. so so so much. they're so selfish but they LOVE her it's why they can't ever let her go they're missing without her#I despise seeing people treat the scoobies with bad-faith bc ik they're not the greatest but oh my god#they are IMPORTANT!!!!! there is no buffy the vampire slayer without willow and xander being WITH buffy#look me in the eyes and tell me tweed boy giles and lurker freak angel were going to be able to keep buffy alive all by themselves.#without xander buffy and willow are left without something firmly human to grip onto when they lose themselves in the supernatural#without willow xander and buffy are left with a gap to properly bridge them. someone to make it easier to understand both sides#without buffy xander and willow have no reason to ever grow and try and learn. to want to be more. to live up to who they can be#plus those two give buffy something tangible to fight for. it's not just the vague “world" she can't feel the affects for it's wil and xand#I need someone smarter than me to articulate this dumb post bc I can't I've tried so many times and I can't but I FEEL it I feel it#buffy summers#willow rosenberg#xander harris#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#I tried to find their ship name and I'm actually going to KILL everyone. why don't they have one. what is going on.
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Just watched Logan for the first time :D (im bawling my eyes out)
#LAURA CALLING HIM HER DAD#I can’t fucking do this anymore#now it just makes me so so so fucking grateful#that Logan has a home with Wade#he has a family now#that poor poor man can finally rest#also I need to know what would happen if worst wolverine and wade’s universe’s charles met#bc they have very similar traumas#killing their loved ones without meaning to#so many thoughts#so many tears#Laura my baby#X-men#Wolverine#logan howlett#imagining him being able to reunite with the other xmen in the afterlife#fic now please#I’m begging#happy poolverine fics save me#save me domestic poolverine
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Sometimes it is so clear that some people only watch this show for Buck and Buddie and it’s like THIS IS AN ENSEMBLE SHOW THIS IS AN ENSEMBLE CAST! other storylines are going to happen!!! This show is not the Buck and Eddie show with some funky sidekicks!! Like please, I understand wanting to see more Buddie, trust me I have been waiting YEARS to see them, but like … one, it’s not going to happen in 2 episodes??? (Nor should it but that’s a WHOLE other conversation) And two, this show is NOT about them! They are an Intercal part to the show and storyline, yes, but they are only a part! And in recent times things have been very Buck, Eddie, buckandeddie, and Buddie focused (yes those are ALL different) so it was bound for an episode to premiere where they are not the focus! Like can we please just enjoy the show and the story it’s telling and stop being all ‘what a flop of an episode’ ‘this was such a let down’ ‘I’m gonna stop watching until Buddie goes canon’, like y’all enjoy the show you want, watch for what you want, whatever, it’s your viewing experience but before you start yelling at the show and it’s creative team for making a “bad” episode simply because there wasn’t enough Buddie in it please, I implore you, to remember that that is Not the point of the show
#this is mainly at TikTok people#every video I have seen 911 related has been ‘god this was the worst episode they’ve done in so long there was barely any Buck or Buddie’#but I also saw a lot of tumblr posts last night of people going Dr odyssey save me 911 has let me down#and look we can talk about the copaganda and I’ve seen some people criticize that and be the reason they didn’t like the episode#AND THATS VALID#we can talk about that!#(though let’s also try and remember that this is in fact a procedurial show where one of the main characters is a police sergeant so like#again that’s gonna be a topic they discuss and that’s kind of like a primary facet of the show??)#but I’ve only seen like 2 people talk about that#every other (many many) takes I’ve seen about this episode being bad it’s simply just … they cut uncle Buck scenes short … there wasn’t#barely any Buddie scenes#and it’s like … guys … please#I beg of you to realize they are not the only characters 😭#I love them do not get me wrong they are why I started watching this show and most of what keeps me engaged#this whole blog is dedicated to them#and I am a Buck girl ride or die#but also I love every character and this show and want to see their storylines too????#cause like the whole point of this show is the found family!!!#you can’t have the found family without the rest of the family y’all#anyways#911verse#buddie#eddie diaz#911 fox#buck buckley#edmundo diaz#911 abc#evan buckley#buck x eddie#eddie x buck
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God what if I wrote a short fic about Lunar and Eclipse and toxic codependency because I've been going insane all night and I feel an urgent need to explore just how fucking reliant they were on each other to the point that even after Eclipse killed Lunar in canon he still felt like he needed Eclipse like
God that's so tragic and fucked up what if I wrote about that
(They remind me so much of Sun and Moon)
#tsams#alex talks#There's so much that could have happened behind the scenes#what if they had been so reliant on each other for support#I always found it weird that Eclipse specifically targeted Lunar to kill him#Not sun#not moon#not anyone trying to kill him#but Lunar#Lunar as in the person he made to help him to be his little brother because he was so used to being Moon that he needed his own kind of Sun#Lunar who never hurt Eclipse like sun or moon did#But the fact that he *left* threw Eclipse into a jealous fit of betrayal and revenge for the slight and it just#makes you wonder just how dependent Eclipse was on Lunar#Especially since we already know how dependent Lunar was on Eclipse#It reminds me of that line#“Moon's will go insane without their Suns”#and this is like meant to be regardless of what kind of relationship the sun and moon have#and eclipse and lunar are supposed to be an inverted sun and moon#And so that begs the question did Eclipse go insane when he lost Lunar?#GOD I JUST#I need to fucking tear them apart in speculative fanfiction#I love this kind of psychological bullshit
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the second readthrough of world trigger is where it really kicks in
#my post#world trigger#the first read is really good. it's just that the second read is incredible. and the third gets even better. and the fourth. and the fifth#i might even go so far as to say you haven't fully experienced it. until the second read. bc there is sooooooo much you will appreciate#when you have the knowledge of what comes later. and familiarity with the protags so you can actually pay attention to side characters#who this manga really rewards paying attention to. fans of the other teams in naruto would beg on their knees for their faves to get the#kind of ongoing presence and progression of even wt's fairly minor side characters like taichi or teruya#it's a little overwhelming at first but my god does wt handle its ensemble cast fantastically. while never losing sight of its protags#im so mad the official translation didn't keep the honorifics so we can get even more information on the fantastic web of relationships....#anyways read world trigger! the shonen battle manga with sports series charm. as i have been known to say#tbh i think it's the kind of shonen battle manga that will really appeal to people who stopped reading shonen battle manga haha.#extremely subversive but in very understated and subtle ways. like how its underdog protag is a REAL weak loser underdog (compliment)#the combat is actually interesting (idgaf about 99% of action sequences in any medium. but i fucking love every single fight in wt)#the female characters actually get writing and presence and cool shit. without being subjected to like. any sexualization at all.#and don't discount chika just cause she looks like the typical Demure Shonen Girl at first. she is way more interesting than that#you can tust me#it has its flaws like anything else but i like it. i like it a lot. <understatement of the century
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Overhead, the stars shone clear and bright, and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn, on the foothills across this very city, though she might be little more than a strange, mighty being from another world, he offered up a prayer anyway.
Then, he had begged Mala to protect Aelin from Maeve when they entered Doranelle, to give her strength and guidance, and to let her walk out alive. Then, he had begged Mala to let him remain with Aelin, the woman he loved. The goddess had been little more than a sunbeam in the rising dawn, and yet he had felt her smile at him.
Tonight, with only the cold fire of the stars for company, he begged her once more.
A curl of wind sent his prayer drifting to those stars, to the waxing moon silvering the camp, the river, the mountains.
He had killed his way across the world; he had gone to war and back more times than he cared to remember. And despite it all, despite the rage and despair and ice he'd wrapped around his heart, he'd still found Aelin. Every horizon he'd gazed toward, unable and unwilling to rest during those centuries, every mountain and ocean he'd seen and wondered what lay beyond... It had been her. It had been Aelin, the silent call of the mating bond driving him, even when he could not feel it.
They'd walked this dark path together back to the light. He would not let the road end here.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#Essar#Mala#more starry quotes#lord of the north#I will find you#no spoilers pls 1st read to read along with me pt 4 of 4 perspectives more notes/quotes/reacts in tags; spoilers in both post & tags#They would not all go in all go out. — he won’t leave without Aelin… and probably Cairn dead#Ready to unleash hell when he sent a flare of his magic diverting soldiers to their side while Rowan made his run for Aelin.#She'd protested but even Gavriel had told her that she was mortal. Untrained. And what she'd done today… Rowan didn’t have the words#thank you for Elide appreciation day#He trusted Essar. She'd never liked Maeve had outright said she did not serve her with any willingness or pride.#But these last few hours before dawn when so many things could go wrong...#the full circle of him praying to Mala in HoF and then mentioning it in QoS and EoS and now here in KoA😭#She had to be there. Aelin had to be there.#If they had come so close but wound up being the very thing that had caused Maeve to take Aelin away AGAIN#The bond within him lay dark and slumbering. No indication of her proximity. — Maeve doing that too AGH I HATE HER SO MUCH#Essar had no idea that Aelin was being kept here until Elide informed her. How many others hadn't known? How well had Maeve hidden her?#— maybe that means there’s some good face on their side who might help if they know or learn?#ah rowaelins love language of revenge and compartmentalizing#Overhead the stars shone clear and bright and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn on the foothills across this very city#though she might be little more than a strange mighty being from another world he offered up a prayer anyway.#his magic sending a prayer to the northern stars for dawn to stay with the woman he loves — even back then😭#Tonight with only the cold fire of the stars for company he begged her once more.#HE SAYS COLD FIRE BECAUSE ITS NOT HIS FIREHEART😭 and the the darkness back to the light — IT WILL NOT END HERE WE WONT LET IT HE WONT LET IT#and the fact he knew he loved her back then😭 and all those centuries before when he didn’t know why😭😭😭
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no offense but steve and nancy’s talk in the woods in season 4 was hands down the worst thing stranger things has ever done
#ok i am not being objective but i just saw a gifset of it and like#major cringe man#bro get it together what ru doing boy#like i get it nancy is cool and brave and whatever but like#does heterosexual love and romance have to be the sun which we all revolve around#major ick vibes#rancid vibes#and this is not even me being a steddie shopper or like an anti stancy shipper it’s just like u were in high school lol#and u grew and changed into diff ppl and like u didn’t even really like each other all that much to begin w#idk idk let nancy go out on her own without any of the boys pls i’m begging#and also let steve and robin become the codependent idiots they deserve to be#true love doesn’t always have to be romantic pls straight ppl i’m begging u to see that platonic love is just as serious and important as#straight romantic love pls i’m on my damn knees
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Viktor would be perfect to take Silcos place let me speak you don't hear me he is just like him he's coded like him he's colored like him he's like baby silco and he needs a silco and jinx could be viktors silco and his new name could be Vix and now jinx even has a new Vi and also obviously it was on purpose if but V and J vi and jinx and silco - viktor and jayce and singed??? ?? why did they boo me Im right I hope jinx and viktor blow up the entire city
#theyre perfect famkly flr each lther im begging you#arcane viktor#arcane jinx#arcane#i had a whole chat with a friend about it and they think theyre both just sgraggly white men but i doNT AGREE#more jinx and viktor fanart pls#and no im not making it romantic they honestly both have asexual and aromantic vibes#SEE PERFECT#as a fellow sex deniar finding someone to love you wifhout it is key#jinx could hang all over vik and he wouldnt make it gross#jinx deserves to be able to be touchy and clingy without being sexualized and silco did that sO VIKTO—#thats not romantic tension its two morons sharing a braincell
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Listen man, I vibe with everyone, canon and OCs. You show up at my doorstep I open the door. I rp with everyone equally.
#petals fall like rain / ooc#the only thing i have in my rules that some might take offense to#is that i dont typically like the whole long lost sibling cousin etc plot without talking first#and i think thats justified tbh like as. a canon i wanna hash stuff out like that prior#but like ive never turned away an oc#if anything I've been on the ghosting/receiving end of being ignored by ocs and fellow canons before#and i typically do not approach first bc of this#but like you will never see me not interact with any one who approaches me#I'm equal opportunity i just want interactions man#but you will also never see me beg for interaction i figure if people are interested they will come#and maybe this makes me look bad ig bc i dont pester oc writers i do follow#but like i also dont wanna bother anyone or be annoying#idk man i feel i guess guilty????#but like yes oc canon you are all equal come to me#hell i even love oc x canon ships like i am down to clown in any capacity#but its very rare for me to reach out first#plus most of the people i do write with are slow repliers or maybe ocs they dont use often or whatever#but like idk i feel really guilty rn but yes idk who you are or who or what you write#if you come i will write with you#thats the tldr here
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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like they updated everyone’s bios in october of last year and imo just saying kuukou speaks vulgar as hell and doesn’t act at all like a monk does plenty to show he’s got an attitude problem in his old bio so why change it to something that can be transliterated as ‘violent criminal behaviour towards others’ if you weren’t about to focus on it 😭😭😭😭😭😭
#vee queued to fill the void#like idk lol!!!! kuukou is still a very violent baby lol but the violence has shifted from his middle school days to his nb/current era day#like he’s always smacked around people doing wrong lmao but there’s a difference between him beating someone senseless#while spitting the coldest bar ‘he begged you to stop but did you??’ to get him to see the error of his ways#versus chasing some hooligans down the street and threatening them with his training in order to get them to change lol#or even the rhyme anima way where he beat them up and then sat down with them to get them to change#like jyushi and hitoya are the forefront of bat’s stories dealing with bullying since bullying got people they loved killed#but what about kuukou???? kuukou with his first story about saving a kid from being bullied????#where kuukou sees the signs of bullying and looks a little uncomfortable to see it????#where kuukou solemnly stops ren from jumping off the building and brings up human sacrifice a little later?????#where he swears to help ren and tells him he needs to live his life without regrets and giving the most complicated smile i have ever seen#the very dark smiles in the fight whenever he chided them for their weaknesses#and the monstrous expression on his face when the bully tried to get him to stop ITS JUST—#it’s just kuukou’s gotta have a relationship with bullying as well 😭😭😭😭😭#there was a time in arb when jyushi lied to kuukou and i think it’s relevant to this particular thought but tbc lol
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decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy
#literally can't work with my new boss bc i can't trust her#she went to the head of the department with complaints abt me without ever speaking to me or giving me any indication she was unhappy#and various other reasons im not happy w management and the school in general#HOWEVER#i love the kids sm and im gonna miss them and worry abt them 😭😭😭😭#im literally scared for some of them bc it feels like the other teachers have no empathy for some of my favorite kids#one of them who is so so sweet and when he cries i'm the girst to comfort him bc everyone else thinks he needs to toughen up 😭#also my new boss sucks so so bad and is gonna be such a bad influence on him and all the other kids#and my main co teacher said she's gonna quit if i do so i cant even beg her to look out for my babies and take care of them 😭💔#and it would be unprofessional to mention any concerns to the parents but genuinely some of the kids would be better off elsewhere#like im actually worried about it#i dont want some of the really sweet sensitive kids to lose their sweetness bc they're being treated unkindly#and the worst bullies and spoiled kids are the ones the teachers dote on#so it encourages some of the sweet ones to act out for attention#anyway 💔#i really do need to go tho#and i'm sure i'll love the kids at my new job#but im so sadddd#also its unlikely i can find a well paying job w this age group even tho i love this age group#its basically impossible not to get attached to them at this age and i get to pick them up and hold and cuddle them and stuff#and you cant really do that with the older kids sadly#literally on the verge of tears even seriously thinking abt leaving#things have been p bad for a while due to management but i never seriously considered leaving bc i love the kids so much#but i literally can't see a future here#and my new boss clearly hates me and im worried she's going to try to get me fired#she already made up a bunch of lies about me and its only been three weeks#anyway i only make 15 an hour so hopefully i'll at least get more somewhere else and i know i'll still love the kids#its just really hard#which is why i've stayed this long#i was p unhappy before my new boss even started bc of the way they treated my old boss
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hate when i can’t interact with my silly little media because it’ll trigger my silly little mental disorders
#im going to fucking scream#let me enjoy my special interest in peace for the love of god#hate being responsible this is shit#im begging let me think about literally anything without spiraling#ocd#cant even do my usual bake cus then can’t think cus im too fucking tired#chronic fatigue is a bitch let me have one issue at a time#commandersposts#did build a bit on lego that kinda helped?#wow look at me coping kinda healthy
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People always justify “awkward quirky teenage girls” by saying what teenage girl would not be awkward and quirky as if all teenage girls are the same.
#Personal#But you know even if you’re right not all teenage girls would be awkward the same way#I have nothing against ‘quirky girls’ man I do LOVE this type#but just stop saying that they’re like that only because they’re teenage girls#this is freaking annoying#You know adults also can be awkward#And sometimes people are awkward without any reason this is just their personality trait#It depends on a person people don’t have the same personalities simply because they fit into the same demographic category lol#(yeah this is after I read some takes about Asha)#I don’t mind her being quirky but I beg you don’t say she’s quirky because she’s seventeen#There is no universal experience of being a teenage girl#And please she’s a fictional character I want her to be entertaining not fit into age developmental characteristics
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No thoughts, just Kaeya outright crying in front of his partner bc they secretly went and learned Khaenri'ahn, even through the painstaking research and sheer effort it would take
#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Yes; this is bc of that one Jay'n Gloria moment from M0dern Fam|ly ;A;#//That moment always gets me so teary; it's silly kdbgfjg#//Love the idea of it being exactly like in the moment; them bickering abt smth and his partner breaking it out; making him just.Bluescreen#//He'd prolly ask them to say smth else. Then another thing. And another; getting more & more teary-eyed; until the dam breaks#//& he's barreling forwards to hold onto them so tight; voice breaking into sobs as he shakily murmurs I love you's into their shoulder#//For Kae; to hear his beloved speak in his language means the WORLD#//Would beg for the materials they used; so he can keep up his own understanding of his native tongue#//He wouldn't even be able to tease them abt their accent; he would just so overwhelmingly happy#//This perhaps would mean more to him than anything else they could possibly do for him#//Bc he KNOWS it would take such effort to come across the means to learn his language; especially more 'fluency' they have#//Even if some scholars of Sumeru would study 'Dahri'; to make such effort for him? He would KNOW they're serious abt him; without a doubt#//For a partner who IS Khaenri'ahn/knows Khaenri'ahn already; the greatest gesture of love for him is likewise them offering to teach him#//Cultural things; the language; anything and everything he's missed and begun to forget#//It would absolutely break his compsure so easily; make him fall so much harder for them than he already has#//Y'know what#//Adding; this absolutely works the same for friends/family of his that are Aware#//It would SHATTER him (in a good way)
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