#save me domestic poolverine | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

weapon-xox · 3 months ago

Note

Hi! I saw you did a drabble and and i wanted to ask if I could request Worst wolverine meeting the X-Men where their logan is gone? (Scogan if you want!)

let me start this off by saying i put just enough scogan that you know theyre gonna talk on the phone later laying on their bellies, giggling and twirling their hair while wade twirls logans hair too bc i couldnt help the poolverine......

anyway if the pacing feels off im sorry this ended up longer than it was meant to be but oh well!! thanks for the request, enjoy 💕

oh also idk what this timeline is.... i threw in what i wanted so its my own so if it doesnt maks sense then oops! cherik never divorced thank me later

"You sure you wanna do this, Peanut? You don't have to," Wade assured.

The pair stood outside of the mansion, in front of those large and daunting doors, where Wade was messing with Logans hair, or readjusting his coat, pretending to make Logan look more presentable but he seemed more worried than Logan looked. More like how he felt on the inside, jittery and scared to death. "Really, I mean. We can go home. Right now. We can-"

"Wade."

"I'll make you dinner?"

"Wade," Logan snapped. The merc whined and slouched his shoulders, and Logans voice softened. "Gotta do this. Even if I choose not to be an X-Man in the end, I can't avoid them for the rest of my life."

"You can, though?" Wade half questioned, half stated. "They don't even know you're back. Or, maybe they do, but it's not like they came to find you. You can probably fly that perfect little body of yours under their radar forever!"

Logan knew Wade was just anxious. Domestic life had been nothing short of bliss, and Wade didn't do good with change. Reintroducing himself to the X-Men could really mean a lot of things, and Wade just hoped it didn't mean taking his Logan, the one he kidnapped and domesticated, away from him. Logan chuckled softly.

"I ain't lookin' to become an X-Man again, bub, I don't think. I just... Wanna see them again."

"But wont that be hard?" Wade whispered, hugging onto Logans arm, who leaned forward and bumped foreheads with the mutate.

"Extremely." And then he knocked on the door.

Wade stood in front of him defensively, but Logan pushed him back, and when the door opened a familiar blue, gentle giant stood in the frame.

"I... Logan, oh dear. Is that you? Do my eyes decieve me?" Logan frowned, furrowed his eyebrows, and was already ready to leave. Until Deadpool cursed and stood in front of Hank, peeking over his shoulder and noting the full house which, if you've forgotten, dear reader, is usually completely empty whenever Wade had been here.

"What the actual fuck?! Does everyone just like, what, go on vacation when I'm around? Logans back and so now you all are, too? Fuck you guys."

Hank wheezed in alarm, having no idea who this guy was, if not because he wasn't in costume. Logan groaned.

"Nice t'see ya, Hank. This is Wade, you might know the name Deadpool though." Hanks face lit up.

"Ah! I understand. It makes sense, you two saved the world together- don't worry, Wolverine. No one else knows that you're back, not outside of the mansion, but the TVA thought it good to alert us of your presence." Logan nodded, and guessed he understood, but that made him think of Wades earlier statement.

"You guys knew? Didn't try to find me?" He was glad, right? He didn't want to be found yet, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Hank smiled warmly, noting the slight hurt in his tone.

"We didn't want to overwhelm you, is all, and didn't know if you would even want to see us. It is best for all to let the Wolverine come to them first, to take your time. Everyone will be so pleased to meet you again."

Meet you. Logan was constantly reminded that this wasn't his timeline, that these weren't his X-Men, and that he didn't belong here. He should be back in that bar, drinking his troubles away and paying for his sins by wallowing in guilt and drowning in booze while the memories screamed at him, reminded him, of what he'd done.

Wade hugged him from behind and whispered, "I can hear you thinking."

No. Right now, Logan should be back at Wades apartment, lounged in his chair Wade had brought in from who knows where, but it was just for him. He should be walking Mary Puppins, or watching (listening, in Altheas case) to an episode of Wheel of Fortune. Not standing here, in front of the mansion, but Hanks excited chattering that Logan hadn't actually been listening to warmed his heart, because maybe they did actually want to see him.

When Hank made a gesture for the two to follow, they did, Wade staying close behind, still seething over the fact that everyone just happened to be here now. Fuck!

Hank showed them around. It was exactly as Logan had remembered, with slight differences, as was expected. Some students ran by them, hardly paying them any mind, but others stopped to pause and gossip among themselves.

Isn't that the Wolverine?

Didn't he leave?

Why does he look different?

Logan felt sick, despite the students best efforts to stay quiet he could hear it all, and maybe Wade somehow sensed that because his seething stopped and now fingers were pressed to the small of Logans back. It helped.

Then, Logan could smell something- someone, familiar and welcome, but the smell brought back so much pain that Logans legs felt like they might start running on their own accord. A second smell was next to it, softer and more floral, feminine, and it wasn't a good smell either. Not right now, while Logan was still grieving, not when he wasn't so sure he could do this anymore.

But before he could turn to tell his companion that he was ready to leave, those smells suffocated him, he couldn't breath, and then a pretty face with soft, grimacing lips was in his line of sight. Logans stomach dropped, and he could hear the thundering of Scotts beating heart from where he stood.

Wade clued in quick enough- this must've been Scott, who Logan would talk so much about, his nightmares more often than not having him scream out Scotts name in anguish. There were other names, too, but it always came back to Scott. And Wade could see why!

The man was very pretty. The stick up his ass was certainly there, Wade could see it in his face and tense body, which he knew would make him so fun to tease. Wade hoped Logan and Scott rekindled some kind of old flame, because he was sure he could make the pretty boy snap and he really wanted to try.

Next to him was a soft redheaded girl, and Wade knew this was Jean. Logan had a lot of guilt around her, too, but he never talked much about it. He rarely talked about Scott either, but Wade hardly slept at night, and Logan liked to talk in his sleep.

"Who is this?" Scotts disciplined voice cut through the tense air, he took a few steps closer, his fists balled up tight and Logan reflexively drew out his claws. Jean forced them back in, then looked at Scott silently. There seemed to be some sort of understanding there when Scott relaxed his fists, and cautiously asked again, "Who are you?'

"You know who I am, Slim," Logan spoke slowly, a step towards Scott, who took a step back. "There's a lot of explainin' I need t'do, but I need you to know... It's so fuckin' good to see ya."

Scotts eyebrows shot up, but Logan zero'd in on the tear that rolled down his cheek. Cyclops didn't say anything, whatever conversation they needed to have needed to not be done here, but he gave a firm nod, and Logan nodded back. A silent understanding.

Jean rushed over and hugged him though, she must've read his thoughts, but Logan didn't mind. He never minded, not with Jean, and he hoped that was an understanding here too. He hugged her back, pet his hand down long, silky hair, then pulled back to eye her up. He smiled through the pain.

"Don'tchya look good, red. Always do." Jean blushed and giggled, swatting at Logans chest playfully but she couldn't stop the sniffles of overwhelming emotion.

"You're such a flirt, I see that hasn't changed. Whose your friend?" Jean hummed, eyes flicking to Wade, who grinned and did his most regal (and dramatic) bow, dipping as low as he could before flicking back up slowly. "Wade Wilson, my spicy little hot tamale, but you can call me daddy. Or, MJ, if you're nasty."

Wade cried out when Logan elbowed him hard.

The rest of the day was filled with "reunions", the meetings and introductions of new faces, and they'd even ran into this timelines Gambit. He was different than the one they had met in the void, taller and more lean but with something of a swimmers build. He was pretty- the other Gambit was, too, but this one reeked of charm. His eyes were a permenant black and red, and long hair hung down his back in a ponytail. Rogue was on his arm, smiling and chatting up Wade, who took a big interest in the two.

Remy gazed towards Logan, a lazy tilt of his head, as that god awful accent drawled while a hand tightened on his girls hip, "Remy like what he sees. Big, strong Wolverine? T'ink ah can get real used ta seein' dat mug 'round here." Wade looked a little jealous, or maybe just protective, but Remy smoothly added "make sure you bring dat friend ah yo's too whenever you visit, sight fo' sore eyes I reckon."

Gambit had Wade blushing like a school girl.

They'd eventually found Storm, who had hugged Logan tight and welcomed him to the mansion, and Kurt, who perched on Logans shoulder while Wade curiously prodded at his tail. Kurt flicked it's tip against his forehead and shouted at him to get away, but it was all playful as he poofed off of Logans shoulder then attached to Wades back.

Jubilee, Bobby, Kitty. They all got their hugs from Logan, made him promise to go out for food with them soon, and after what felt like a lifetime Logan and Wade were alone, standing in front of Xaviers office, and Logan swallowed hard.

"I... Don't think I'm ready," Logan whined, turning around, ready to walk out. Wade grabbed hold of his arms and squeezed, keeping the Wolverine in place.

"Be a good boy, Logan. You'll regret it if you leave now, I know that. Chat with him, Peanut, and then we can finally go home and watch our favorite golden girls re-runs." Logan nodded, turned back around and went to knock, but the door seemingly opened itself with a loud, ominous creak. Wade hid behind Logan like a small, frightened child, the Wolverine shook his head and slowly walked forward.

Logan couldn't believe his eyes.

There were two figures at Charles desk. One was the man himself, smiling wide with those crinkled crows feet, hands folded over the blanket in his lap.

The other was tall, with a long cape and an expression that could turn anyone to stone, but no helmet. Logan parted his lips to speak, Wade beat him to it.

"Oh get the FUCK out of here, no way. Magneto?! Oh I am so wet right now." He squealed, practically bouncing up and down in excitement. Logan didn't see the appeal, his poor metal bones always ached around Magneto. He didn't trust him.

"I was wondering when you'd join us," Charles exclaimed, rolling out from behind his desk where Magneto made sure to keep close behind. Wade ran up to him, groped at his arms, chest, then grabbed at his cape and wrapped it around himself while pressing up close against the mutant. He was going to get himself killed.

Except... Magneto didn't move. He didn't even look at Wade, letting the man climb all over him like a jungle gym, his eyes stayed locked on Charles with the occasional defensive look at Logan.

Alarm bells went off in Logans head, and they must have been loud because Charles shushed him, and Magneto held up a hand, ready to stop the Wolverine right in his tracks. Logan growled, and Xavier raised a brow, pressed two fingers to his temple.

"...Interesting. This Logan is far different than our own was, Erik. If we thought he was hard to tame, this ones more in touch with his animal side!"

This peeked Eriks interest, and Charles went silent, Magneto and the professor looking between each other. If Logan had to guess, they were having a conversation, kept only to themselves, perhaps to keep Logan from flying off the rail.

Eventually, Magneto said aloud, just to Charles, "Very well," hands clasped behind his back, eyeing Logan up with a new fire in his eyes.

The sudden attention from who was supposed to be their enemy made Logan ill. The room stayed silent, tense, until Wade finally spoke, letting out a breath he must have been holding to keep from interrupting.

"Holy shit, baby cakes. Yes. Yes, we're joining the X-Men, and I am so on Magnetos team." Erik didn't seem to like that idea, and was about to argue there was only the one team, until Wade planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek. Erik pushed him away.

Logan was really regretting coming here.

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sirwadewilsonfromimgur · 1 month ago

Text

Deadpool & Wolverine: Scenes from an unconventional marriage.

[Submitted to Poolverine Week Day 7 SFW domesticity / Domestic life]

Pre script authors note: The following was inspired by a few conversations between @icarusredwings and myself, part of which was a scenario that i thought would be funny... if this is your first story reading one of my AUs (first of all. woof, you picked a long one) Secondly. The boys have money, Peter works for them as an assistant and logistics expert. They live in Kansas city because of Wade's crusade against anti-mutant GMO corn... go back and read KoKC for details. Link below.

Scene 3

Kansas City Missouri Earth-10005 (2031-ish)

When two murderous Canadian mercenaries love each other very much...

Part 1 : paternal instincts.

Our scene opens up where most of our scenes open with this author.

The 19th floor of 700 W 31st Street Kansas City Missouri.

(the building known to its Tennants as One Park Place tower)

International headquarters of Malfeasance and Fraud Mitigation (Mercs for Money) LLC. And home to Logan and Wade Howlett-Wilson.

And Blind Al don't forget her! And Mary puppens I'll stab you if fucking forget about her. By the way Brace yourself folks this might be a crossover AU one-shot non canonical story.

Wade was talking to himself as usual having left the office after chain smoking a pack of Lucky Strikes and going over Financials with Peter and Althea. The business part of the business of killing was a huge pain in the ass. Logan insisted he take an active role beyond just killing. It was hell on his undiagnosed autism/ADHD.

Fuck Excell, fuck spreadsheets, fuck shopping around for cheaper ammo to save a dollar, this Is a Winchester house we're not buying off brand bullets from eastern Europe!

But it was finally over and he could enjoy the rest of his day. Which he intended on doing as he walked towards Logan sitting on the couch in the livingroom. He had a Nintendo Switch and was playing Mario 3 online.

He'd taken a liking to playing games ever since Laura convinced him to play Smash Brothers with her a few years ago.... Wade loved that he'd picked up what many especially the Wolverine himself would consider an unserious hobby.

he sucked at it, but he was trying to improve. He had recently beat Zelda: link to the past, but he still couldn't beat Laura at Smash Bros. Wade sat down next to him with a thud.

You get all your work done for the day princess? He asked without looking up from his screen.

I did. It was terrible. I hate it. Please don't make me do it again. Wade gently puts a hand on Logans thigh, not necessarily with amorous intentions. It's more like trying to ground himself after a stressful afternoon by connecting with his Wolverine.

Sorry bub, but you gotta learn about the actual business. It'll give you a better perspective before you go spending money. Besides its our company, and it's more than shooting fools. Now, if you gimme a sec I'll find a stopping point. These little fucking turtles have been giving me hell.

Thier Koopas penut, stomping on turtles, would be cruel. As for Al and Peter, they are the best at what they do... and what they do isn't very interesting.

Logan chuckles at Wade's bad joke, turning off his game. You smell like cigarettes bub, you know those are bad for your health. *sniffs* lucky strikes.... you know I remember when lucky strike was a plug tobacco brand (chewing tobacco bound together with molasses the 1870s were a weird time)

That sounds disgusting Penut... also I think smoking is the least of my problems. You didn't have to stop playing your game I just Wanted to be near you. But speaking of, did I tell you I was in a video game once?

Logan was accustomed to this line of thought at this point, they were in a film, a fanfic on Tumblr, a comic book, a novel... a video game was new... he couldn't see the audience, as far as he knew his choices were his own. But he didn't immediately dismiss Wade like he had in the past, because when he said things like this, there was a thread, especially if Wade said something ominous. He knew to clock it and treat the situation with care.

You were? Tell me about it bub. He said this as he pulled Wade onto his lap, feeling the need for a little cuddling while his garrulous lover regaled him with a meandering story... he liked it.

Well Penut it was the far off year of 2013, my voice sounded like Nolan North at the time and not the buttery Ryan Reynolds tones I have today. It was before the Deadpool movies and I didn't have the budget for a Hollywood actor.

Logan shook his head in mock understanding, not understanding what he meant by having a different voice at all.

Anyway, cutting past the tutorial levels, I remember Cable was there, and so we're you. Well, not you, one of you. Ya' know.

Logan gave Wade a little squeeze at the mention of Wade's ex, Cable... something about that guy made him feel possessive, not a normal reaction for a pair that generally regarded themselves as polyamorous. It probably had something to do with him being (this universe's) Scotts son which is a situation that's weird on its face before someone explained time travel to you and once that was done Logan would have to open a whole can of worms regarding trauma of love lost, parallel universes, and his Scott...

he pushed it to the back of his brain as Wade told his story, how he went on an adventure and that other Logan. he even let me fly the Blackbird... this, of course, resulted in disaster... he crashed it, leading in to a light explanation of how his and that Logans relationship was... tense.

Wade went on about traipsing through the ruins of Genosha a totally real place Logan was unfamiliar with...

there was no Genosha or Krakoa in his universe, and by far the largest difference between the world's he'd noted. It was a land populated by mutants that had suffered a brazen attack by humans... a story Logan was all too familiar with. It's a story he's been doing his best to live with. Pulling himself out again he focuses on Wade's story, he'd mentioned a musical number with Lady Death (who was not played by Aubrey Plaza at the time wade lamented) and then discovery that it hadn't been Agatha all along but Mister Sinister at the heart of the problem.

He'd planned on destroying Wade's favorite taco restaurant along with the rest of the world by *checks notes* exhuming mutant bodies to obtain their unique DNA.... or something. It was almost 20 years ago penut so it's fuzzy.

An injustices Wade simply could not stand for. He personally killed several of Sinisters clones in the process of ultimately stopping his evil scheme before confronting him at Magneto's old Citadel where he'd been hiding out...

I squashed him like a bug under the boot of an old Sentinel, Penut! The big purple kind like from X-men 97! Anyway, the credits role and because of licensing issues, the game is only available to play on hard disk, and it's expensive.

Logan nodded his head (again) in tacit agreement with this statement as if he completely understood *he didn't* kissed Wade on the cheek and held him. He was about to suggest that he and Wade go for a walk when Wade jumped off his lap

Oh, Penut! Talking about Sinister reminds me of something!

Wade ran across the room and headed towards the large storage room they kept some sundry items in, the Christmas tree, seasonal stuff and a few boxes of Wade's "crap" that he couldn't get rid of. Mind you this wasn't Wolverines terminology, Wade had written in red crayon on the boxes Crap. Out of curiosity Logan had followed behind him and was standing in the door watching Wade feverishly dig through boxes, opening them taking stuff out and Searching for something.

Amongst the random objects was a furry red doll with a grande attached to it. Logan quickly picks it up.

Wade, why dose this doll have a live Fucking grande attached to it... I thought we agreed all explosives stay at the safe house not the condo!

Oh, tickle me Hell-mo, in fairness Penut I forgot he was even in that box... I forgot what was in a lot of these boxes, trinkets, souvenirs... grenades... apparently. I just knew i didn't want to throw these things away. He rifled through another box as he said this and pulled out a large gray rectangular device with buttons nobs and a small readout display.

FOUND IT! c'mon Penut, I'll clean this up later. I want to show you something. Wade rushed out of the storage room as fast as he'd ran in, Logan followed behind exploding doll in hand. He knew he'd better just entertain whatever it was Wade wanted to show him. Besides, he is kinda cute when he's excited about something.

Ok Princess, what about that box has got you so worked up.

Wade sets it on the marble counter.

Sinister was a sick fuck, and certifiably evil... but he was a brilliant geneticist and created several devices for harvesting DNA... I, lightly acquired a few things.

You stole shit.

I WASN'T PAID! so yeah after killing the fucker FOR FREE and distracting the X-men who conveniently showed up after I did all the work, I rooted around the citadel where he'd set up shop. I took this! He said pointing at the device. He then proceeded to pull out an instruction manual seemingly from thin air and read it out loud.

This device can take the DNA of two or more individuals regardless of gender and re-combine it to make a new life.

Logan was taken aback, not only by the inference that this device could assist them in having biological children together... but because Wade fucking read something out loud flawlessly without having to sound it out...

Bub, you can read today?

I guess so... but I'll probably only be able to write in Mandarin tomorrow. So enjoy it while you can. But to the point at hand, Penut, I want to have your babies. And with this I believe we can... with the help of a surrogate.

Sweet heart (Logan said as gently as possible in an attempt to spare his feelings) I don't think we're ready for kids, especially little ones.

Logan held up the explosive doll as exhibit A for his argument.

Wade responds by just looking at Logan, big comic book accurate blue eyes staring right in to his soul, Logan could see the tears welling up....

Jesus, bub! Stop! You emotionally manipulative little cunt! Logan broke his gaze and looked out the window pretending to be interested in downtown...

Look Princess, I know how badly you want a kid of your own... you told me all about it.

But you've got some steps to take before I consider being a father to a new life with you... firstly who's gonna surrogate? And don't tell me Ness, she's a good friend but that's asking a lot of her and don't be all depressed if she tells you no.

Secondly... and I can't believe I'm saying this... but if you want me to even flirt with the Ideas Wade, we gotta make this house a safe place and... buy one of the units next to us to expand into so the kid has a room... and you gotta get a safe for the guns and a locked case for the swords. we can't have them accessible to a toddler... no more keeping a Glock in the silverware drawer, no more LadySmith revolvers under the couch cushions. No more cocain in the pantry labeled "flour" in mason jars.

Well... that doesn't sound like a No, Penut... or should I say... Daddy?

Logan cringed at Deadpool, calling him daddy in a decidedly nonsexual tone. It didn't sound normal.

If the Wolverine wasn't sure about this, he probably shouldn't have given Wade a goal with clearly defined parameters...

Wade had hyper focus and devoted himself to baby proofing the condo, weapons secured. Drugs removed (by consuming them, Logan didn't say he couldn't have fun)

He negotiated buying the vacant one bedroom unit that was on the other side of their office walls, blew out said wall, and had contractors built two new large bedroom suites with bathrooms. He installed a Cypher lock on the office door and... yes, the golden girls were behind glass in a locked display cabinet. Something he could punch through should he need to defend the house quickly.

He did this all with his personal funds. Everything was on course... accept finding a surrogate... believe it or not, Vanessa wasn't actually Wade's first choice. He didn't want to ask her to commit to the inconvenience, especially since he didn't want to interfere with her relationship with Dermot... also the touchy subject of asking the woman you wanted to start a family with to hay... help me start a family with my husband it'll be fun! No... Vanessa would be a fun aunt, but he knew he'd have to seek out the services of a professional or something.

They did find an agency that helped them meet with potential surrogates. It wasn't cheap.

A situation that was more complicated than taxes, filing out mountains of paperwork. Then they had to actually meet these women. Money they had... interview skills not so much. Especially when a few walked in, saw Wade's face, and immediately walked out. The best ones screamed, the worst one thought she was on one of those terrible reality prank shows...

Logan despised the nights after such interviews. Holding Wade as he wept.

Logan... what if my own baby thinks I'm scary? What if they don't want to be seen with me or worse they're bullied at school for being the son of a monster... *loud sobs* because it's true, I am a monster. A murderer, a war criminal whose outside is exactly who he is on the inside... a freak.

Logan had gotten Wade to believe him after years when he said he loved him, his scars added depth and character and that he thought his husband was the sexiest man to walk the earth, the void, and the multivers.

But that only applied to him, others... well, given how the interviews went, it was a blow to his ego.... and his mental health. It'd be days before he got Wade to come back out from under his hood or mask. But that was a problem for tomorrow. But for tonight, Wade had entered a shutdown for lack of a betterword... Logan held him, fed him, got in the large shower with him, washed him, and went to bed, tucked in the large bed he held his beloved who had curled himself up in to a ball.

Tomorrow will be better Princess, we'll find the right person, and I promise any baby of ours will love you and be kind. Because that's who you are, really on the inside bub... you forget it. But as long as I've known you, your heart has been in the right place in the end, and you're kinder than I am by a country mile.

The sleep that night was thankfully dreamless for the both of them.

The next morning, Logan made a simple breakfast of eggs and toast for both of them. Putting the bottles of salsa and sriracha near Wade plate... he looked at the clock. 6:30 am

Meaning it was 7:30 in New York. He'd try and give Vanessa a call in half an hour knowing she'd be up by then for sure. He needed to commiserate with someone who understood Wade like he did.

The phone call he had that morning was surprising. He'd let Vanessa know what'd been going on with the agency... and the drama... he was shocked to learn she didn't even know they were considering having a baby.

Wade, didn't tell you?

No Red's not said a word of this to me, I'm honestly confused as to why you goofballs didn't ask me first.

Well, after yesterday, I might as well be the one to ask. Would you consider it Ness?

I... hmmm.... tell you What, this isn't exactly a phone conversation, and it sounds like I need to have a chat with my buddy... I can be there this weekend if you can help a sister out with at ride.

*Logan scoffs playfully* sure I'll have peter send out a G700 to pick you up.

Oooo spoil me, Daddy she retorted.

Logan gaged... gross Ness.

She cackled at getting the old man's goat for a solid minute before they finally wrapped up the call, Logan could definitely see why she and Wade had clicked.

It was another down day, no jobs scheduled, they could afford to take longer breaks and be choosy with contracts. Althea had the money making money with a few business development investments, the purpose of which was to launder money and pay taxes, the fringe benefit being they actually produced a small regular incom. (Please stop talking about the intricacies of the business, haven't I suffered enough!)

A short walk away on the other side of Broadway is the Penn Valley off leash dog park. Mary loved being able to run about and the boys liked that they didn't have to worry about her getting hit by a car... not that it would have affected her for long, but they both knew regenerating is something you'd rather not do if you didn't have to. Wade was indeed tightly tucked into a hoodie hiding his face as best he could. Logan would address that later. They got to the dog park gate without issue, Wade actively avoiding any other people they saw on the way.

Logan unhooked the leash from the ring on her doggy vest, and she was off like a bat out of hell to do whatever it is Dogpools do when they have a whole field to run in. He pulled out a cigar from his pocket case. A Cohiba, a real one from Cuba, smuggled it himself from a job that took them to the Caribbean. He carefully cut the tip with a specialized Xikar cutter, lit the end of a cedar strip, and used the growing flame from it to light his cigar... a lot of ritual for something you literally burn. But Logan found it calming, he also needed one of his strongest cigars to help cover up the smell of the dog park... even if everyone picked up after their dog (they most certainly didn't) the smell was not great for Logan.

We should both probably cut back on the smoking when the babies get here penut... he said this as he pulled out a cigarette... they didn't do much for either of them chemically. Wade just enjoyed the habit, something comforting about it... plus if Wolvy was gonna have a cigar, it made him feel like it was a couples activity. Doing a mundane thing together was one of Wade's favorite things.

I spoke to Ness this morning.

Oh, I hope she's doing well. I need to call her.

I wouldn't worry about it, she'll be here this weekend... Wade, sweetheart... why didn't you tell Ness about our plans, she seemed a little hurt you didn't tell her.

She's traveling a thousand miles, probably to tell me off. I think she's more than hurt if she's coming out here... you know Penut... you said that I shouldn't get my hopes up with her... and I kinda took it to heart... Also I have my own hangups about it... Firstly being how insensitive it sounds on it's face. "Hay Ness, if you and Dermot aren't using it, can we rent your womb? Only 9 months, first month deposit up front!"

But more importantly, for the better part of a decade, Vanessa has been pulled into the misadventures of Deadpool. I love her (platonically). I'm glad we were able to stay friends... but she really doesn't need to get wrapped up in my problems, schemes, and drama... again. Not at my request anyway. A big issue I have is personal, I was going to start a family with her. Asking felt... regressive. But also to the point, her proximity to me has gotten her kidnapped and killed before. I still feel guilty about it.

You also traveled the multivers to save this reality for her, also you traveled back in time and saved her bub.

Aint you ever seen endgame. That's not how time travel works. Somewhere out there, in some other time line, Vanessa is still dead, and it's my fault. This is just a branched timeline.

Since when has the timeline ever made Since bub!

*Loud gasp* PENUT DID YOU JUST BREAK THE FOURTH WALL?

I don't think so, bub... I don't see the people, but I remember you trying to explain how the "other me" time traveled in 2014, and now there aren't Sentinel's running death camps. That the timeline changed and converged.

This is no different Princess, don't think about it too hard, you said. So I'm telling you the same thing. Don't fret about it bub, Vanessa is alive... and she will be here Saturday.

You're too good for me, Penut. I Don't deserve you.

No, you don't... he said as he picked a small plastic bag out of his pocket. You literally stole me. But I love you anyway. Now go pick up the massive shit Mary just took. I refuse for us to be the kind of people who just leave it.

Wade took the bag.

It's probably Stockholm syndrome Penut.

Vanessa arrived Saturday afternoon, in a Falcon 900LX. It was the best Peter could arrange on short notice... not that Vanessa knew the difference between a G700 and a Falcon, she was just happy not to be on Southwest. Dermot was with her... the man was almost the antithesis of Wade, He liked Hiking and he was quite to the point of being accused of being shy. Dry witted... and as he'd recently discovered when he went to the gun range with the boy's last 4th of July... a lousy shooter. But he was stable, kind, and good-natured. Definitely willing to go along to get along with a lot of Wade's antics at parties. He knew why Vanessa had come, and he was perfectly fine with it. It didn't interfere with his plans at all. He was a slow burner and Vanessa hadn't indicated she was in any hurry to tie the knot. But that's a story for another time.

Wade had gone the extra mile to spoil them. A black limousine complete with champagne greeted them on the tarmac and whisked them off to casa de chaos.

She walked in the door like she owned the place, dropping her bag by the door. She walked to the dining room table and sat...

Come over here and sit with me boys. We got a lot to talk about and I'd like to waste no time getting down to business.

Oh, so direct. Wade said in a catty tone high enough to indicate he was joking as he winked

We're gonna gloss over the fact that you didn't involve me with your family planning from the start... but I hear you've had a hard time landing a surrogate. she cut eyes at Wade as she said this. Wordlessly airing all of her hurt feelings and grievances regarding not even being told Wade and Logan were trying to have a baby. Something one would think a best friend would be told

I'd like to make an offer. On the condition that despite you two being my best friends... I aint doing this for free.

Oh, if that's the case Ness then you gotta interview like all the rest. He said this in a joking tone but she didn't miss a beat.

Ok Red, I've been substance free for over 20 years, I don't smoke. I promise not to drink or eat selfish for the entire pregnancy, and I'm one of two people in this room who've seen you naked and didn't require drugs and therapy after.

Yeah... my dick dose look like a peperoni somone forgot in the air fryer.

And your sack looks like someone took a crown royal bag, filled it with puss, and ran it through the middle of a hog pin.

Wade smiles. And laughs a little...

Ok, Ness. you got the job.

Great, I knew you'd see it my way. She proceeded to write a number on a piece of paper and slid it across.

That's my price. Also, Dermot and I are gonna be long-term hous guests for obvious reasons. Convenient since he can do his job remotely....

Wade looked at the number, showed it to Logan, and smirked... I think the both of you could retire for this much money... but nothing is too good for my baby. I am going to have to kill several people for this.

Bub, we might have to overthrow a government.

Pff like that's something new.

Lucky you Ness, you get to be the first person to stay in one of the new rooms... and tangentially responsible for a potential war crime! He grinned like the devil at her

---

Shortly after the contract was finalized, Vanessa and Dermot moved in, and it was a short trip to New York... the boys provided a sample and Mister Sinisters machine to Dr. Henry McCoy... who was fascinated by the whole thing (he later wrote an entire dissertation on it) he helped with the procedure... the result of which was one Vanessa Carlysle pregnant with the Biological child of the combined DNA of Deadpool and Wolverine...

The following 9 months went surprisingly smoothly (apart from one small incident with a serial killer, but that's a chapter in the Noir, we will worry about it later)

The day came... Vanessa went into labor, early in the morning. Thankfully, it seemed like it would be free of complications. meaning that Wade and Vanessa both got their wish for thus day. The baby was born at home.

Wade had an aversion to hospitals. Bad memories of cancer diagnosis, and a general fear of strange men in white lab coats. Not every man mind you. He was cool with Beast and other people he knew personally and he knew a few scientists and doctors... Logan wasn't averse to hospitals apart from the smells of disinfectant and illness mixed together. Vanessa was a bit new age for her justification, why bring life into the world in a place so many go to die, on top of it being uncomfortable, and expensive.

As a result, the midwife was called arrangements were made and the new life was soon ushered into the world. They say history doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme. Like his father Logan, who was born at home to an affluent family in a room where he'd spend his childhood, this baby was born in the penthouse of a tower to affluent parents in a room he'd inhabit well in to his 20s.

Vanessa wasn't in labor long. No birth is a walk in the park, but she would tell you it was pretty easy and without drama compared to others. She pushed one last time, and he was out. Vanessa did get the honor of holding him first after the midwife cleaned him up... Logan couldn't resist the urge; the umbilical cord was carefully cut with an adamantium claw blade. He had been offered a scalpel for the record.

Hay there, little guy... it's a pleasure to meet you.

She held him for 5 minutes before she called Wade over.

I know someone who's been waiting a very long time for you... I think it's time you should finally meet him

Vanessa handed the tiny bundle to Wade, who had whipped off his shirt the second Vanessa called him over. I read that skin to skin contact was beneficial to the baby. he'd said as he carefully supported the babies head and neck and brought him in closer to his chest.

Welcome to the world... I apologize for the state of it, but I have indeed waited a long time to meet you, little guy... I'm Wade, but please call me dad. Your other dad over there is the Wolverine, that makes you my Kitten. I promise you I'll do the best i can being your father. Please don't judge me too harshly.

Babe, get over here and take your shirt off.

If I had a dollar for every time you've said that to me.

So what should we name him...

You didn't think of a name already!

Logan said it was bad luck *shrugs*

But at least we got the last name sorted Howlett-Wilson 👌

Bub, hyphenated names are a pain in the ass... its not a problem for us because we rarely use our real married name for anything official... let's just give him your last name.

Wade scrunched his face with a little distaste...

Wolvy he's our baby. He should have something from both of us... I mean, besides our mental illness... that's a given.

Tell you what princess; how about we Name him James. It was my name... once, but I don't use it anymore. He can have it.

His middle name however was a much longer discussion... mostly because Wade offered several typical Deadpool options that Logan Veto'ed outright.

Thunderdick! No. Skullcursher!? God, no. James MAGNUM Wilson! That's terrible Wade...

It went on for a minute before Vanessa finally chimed in. Evan... I've always liked that name.

Well, it's a normal name. So I like it.

Works for me, Penut. Though it'd be a lot cooler if it was Danger... but that's my middle name.

Your middle name is Winston.... idiot!

Part two: the Life and Times of James E. Wilson (hope you like crossover AUs)

James's earliest memory is his father, Wade holding him, comforting him... but also crying. He vaguely remembered being at the playground, running and jumping as most toddlers do... tripping on something and skinning his knees on the sidewalk... he naturally had the reaction of crying from the pain and surprise... it wasn't until James was much older that he understood why his dad kept mumbling why aren't you healing?

It's ok, dad... you don't need to cry. I already feel better.

Even at a young age, he felt compelled to comfort someone else. To help. It broke him out of thinking about his own problems, including skinned knees...

The result of this little accident was Wade panicking. They went back to the house and grabbed the dog and his other dad. Papa (or the big bad wolf if James was misbehaving) no amount of reasoning or comments from Logan couldn't stop him or calm Wade down.

Logan Howlett-Wilson get your ass in the car and drive us to the airport right now! Were going to the Mansion to see the fucking doctor RIGHT NOW!

Logan got the message, Wade didn't forgo pet names unless he was bone chillingly serious in intention and resolve. So within minutes, they were on a jet to New York. Where James met a fuzzy blue man he liked very much despite the blood draw. That was uncomfortable, but he found the lab he was in fascinating... weather or not, this influenced his future career he couldn't fully say. But probably a little.

The news delivered to the... not so young, but definitely, new parents was not stellar... Hank had run several tests and analyzed James' DNA structure. He possessed the X-Gene, but it was dormant due to being recessive. Much like Wade he'd have to undergo profound trauma to activate it. There was no guarantee he'd come out the other end with a healing factor. It could be anything... furthermore, it was highly unethical and unthinkable to subject a child.... Wade cut him off

I know a lot of people don't think highly of me. But how fucking dare you assume I'd even entertain the idea of tormenting my child.

Easy bub, I don't think Hank was implying anything. Ya' know he gets lost in the hypotheticals. Right Hank!?

The blue man nodded in agreement.

We will just... have to be extra careful.

Wade picked James up. C'mon soldier. There's a big metal doofus ya gotta meet.

---

One particular afternoon James was sitting in his office recounting some memories with his friend Gregory. Though they had a habit of referring to each other by sir name. Wilson and House

(what a twist)

The day the two met was actually one of the few points in time that if you knew who his parents were you'd say "oh yeah, that is clearly the offspring of Deadpool and Wolverine" it was at a medical conference in New Orleans. Wilson dosn't remember the exact circumstances he'd been drinking but his father's tempers came out of him as he'd threw punches and generally effectively kicked ass at a bar brawl (Wade would have been so proud) House ever the shit stirrer jumped in and backed him up. Truly his fathers son, meeting your best friend as a result of incredible violence... in a bar.

House had actually just finished telling Wilson about his most recent case, yet another patient that had been previously misdiagnosed as having lupus. It was Hashimoto's disease if you're curious. The interactions he'd had with the patient made him think she'd been being neglected, bare minimum socially isolated... he recognized his own surliness in others. It resulted in a dressdown of her parents that he was certain would result in an office visit with Cuddy and detention after school.

High-school wasn't a fun time for Gregory...

You know it wasn't exactly fun for me either.

From the age of 11 to the time he left for med school, he was escorted by armed gaurds to and from school. Growing up in Kansas city, he'd gone to Pembroke Hill School, a private school that specialized in STEM that's tuition cost as much as a new car annually... he was one of only two kid's that went to that school that arrived with a security detail, not however the only one that arrived in a limousine. The other kid was the child of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. They weren't friends... he didn't really have friends.

Aww poor little rich boy

House chided at him

At least you didn't get shoved into a locker...

Which was true. He didn't have friends but he didn't have enemies either. The closest thing he had to a best friend was his Grandma Al and Mr. Yoshitomi his driver/lead bodyguard. he was allowed to call him Yoshi...

The man was clearly retired Yakuza, and like his father Logan, tough on the outside but secretly a teddy bear. The truth is Wilson found himself alone at home, too. Apart from Al... but she mostly sat him down in front of a TV and fed him before going outside to smoke...

so apart from weekends, he was alone. Occasionally, he'd see his big sister Laura. She was frequently busy herself being the "official" Wolverine of the Xmen. He liked it when she brought him comics, fictionlized accounts of the adventures of his dad in the past, and his big sister... he knew his dad's loved him. No one could argue that... but What had started as two lovers in New York trying to make rent money by doing the only thing they were good at; picking up random jobs on the dark web (Killing mostly) in the mid 2020s morphed into a private security firm in Kansas City that rivaled Black Water and the (fucking) Pinkertons by the 2040s.

They were busy, and it did provide him a comfortable life without student loans or want for any material thing... But from 11 to 18, it was him Al his sister Ellie who was always off doing her own thing (he wished they were closer) and what had to be the world's oldest dog. She's still alive, actually. The dog loved him and was rarely not by his side when he was home (because all deadpools love their babies) Althea however was not, she was a chain smoker and heavy drug user until the day she died.

how that woman lived to be 115 is fucking beyond me

She lived long enough to see (metaphorically) Wilson graduate medical school. It was the last time he'd seen her. He moved away and started his residency in New Jersey. Wade had sent a private plane as well as several veiled threats to the Dean of medicine at the time to ensure Wilson had the time off to attend the funeral.

Wilson... I gotta ask, why did you have armed guards?

Oh! Funny story when I was 10. I was kidnapped once

(Exactly once I made sure of that)

It's true. He was heading home from school. He made it to the driveway of the tower he called home when some very ill-informed gangsters decided to kidnap the son of a rich man... they didn't do their resurch as to who's kid exactly, just figured they'd get a ransom...

In fairness on paper Wade and Logan weren't Wade and Logan, they were two random dudes who ran a lucrative business and weren't shy about showing off.

This leads to probably the second most traumatic memory Wilson had... not necessarily the kidnapping. They had actually treated him surprisingly well.

What shocked him was seeing his father Logan covered in blood kicking down the door of the room he'd been kept in. He'd never seen his father in the tight yellow and brow suit before. Or the mask... he had taken it off when he clocked James, but that only made it worse. The entire bottom of his father's face was coated in blood, like he'd gored a man (he actually had ripped open one of the gangsters throat with his teeth) the blood on his face was cut clear with two rivulets of tears. What James didn't know is they weren't just tears of joy seeing his son, but also tears of relief. If anything had happened to James, the Genocide he and his husband were going to commit in response would have made his incident in his own universe look like childs play.

[Image below: Scary dad privileges]

---

Rebellious teenage years were impossible. You couldn't steal weed from your blind grandma and hid it in your room, not from the nose of the Wolverine.

Do you know what this shit dose! It makes you fucking stupid is what it does, and your dad and I aren't raising a fucking idiot!

Logan never hit him. But he was scary when he yelled and loud... if he was really pissed those claws popped out. Never an actual threat but fucking scary. The only person in the house that actually got stabbed was Wade... and much to James's chagrin, he was pretty sure his dad liked it.

It wasn't the worst childhood, and it wasn't a bad life. Wilson became an oncologist partly because he was fascinated by his own father. The man who's cancer actually kept him alive. He had success, failures... it's like his dad said "what dosn't kill you makes you bad at intimacy kido" 3 ex wives later he finally understood what he meant by that.

All the events of his life that you know about that happened on the show. They happened more or less details and name's changed, cousins were not blood related etcetera. The ending however was quite different. Wilson and House lived to an advanced age. House did indeed fake his own death some time in 2069 and assumed a new life... but luckily for him, his "buddy" Wilson had a dad that knew how to get people new and interesting identities.

They had actually shown up one day at the condo... parking their motorcycles right in front of the door (no one dare question whatever the fuck Deadpools kid wanted to do at that building, Wade had long since put the HOA under his thumb) Wade welcomed his son in. Helped them out. House got a new first name... also, shortly after the Althea Sanderson memorial cancer research wing was built, Wilson found himself the head of Oncology at KU med hospital. Wilson never once questioned why a job was offered to him out of the blue and Wade never once questioned why Wilson and House shared a home out in Leewood.

The only other major difference is all his life when he could he returned home to the condo for the holidays. Where he'd see his seemingly ageless fathers and sisters. He loved his family Logan, Wade, Laura, and Ellie (we'll talk about her in another story.) Which is just as well. He never had children of his own, and after your 3rd failed marriage, you kinda give up on the idea of expanding your family; other than House occasionally tagging along. But until his dying day, his dad dotted on him. And bragged, boy did he brag especially to the Xmen when he had a chance to rub in their face his son the successful Doctor! (Suck on that Jean!)

But for Wade, the day did finally come that his immortality became a curse... with every Christmas, Thanksgiving, and spring break that came, James got older. Wade was at his retirement party, He remembers loving Dr. House's wildly inappropriate speech and toast. A man after his own heart, but after the laughter subsided, he realized that his boy, who was graciously receiving a gold watch, had lines in his face and gray hair.

The years kept coming... Wilson got older, he got sick... and his mortality came to pass.

If the universe brought these starbound lovers together for any particular reason. It was for this moment, Wade loved two things Intensely, his Wolverine and his children... but the Death of his first son broke him. Logan clinged on to Wade physically and emotionally. Doing everything he could to hold him together. It was many years before Wade could be called Ok. It was another couple hundred years before he even considered the idea of raising more children.

It should be noted that James was the only one to be fully genetically Logan and Wade's. He was special, one of a kind.

Wade carried a portion of James's ashes with him in a small locket around his neck where it stayed for countless millenia. In dangerous situations he'd even cut himself and put it under his skin so it wouldn't get lost...

Epilogue:

The lady at the end of the road sits in her ethereal other world. Surrounded by various time keeping devices dimly lit by candles flames that don't consume. She pulled out a pocket watch and a ledger. She had an appointment to keep. This one was a special case. The dark lady had the power to send out shades, to be everywhere at once. But this appointment she'd handle directly. She carried out her appointed task kindly but usually without emotion. She was inflexible and didn't bargain or despite what you may have heard play chess or gamble for time or souls....

Wade was there... hospice care was set up about a week ago, and he sat by James side as the ravage of time and biology took its toll. By regular human standards Dr. James Wilson lived a good life, a long life at that. He was 97 years 6 months 2 weeks and 5 days old the morning she came. Logan had been with him the entire night before Wade had taken his shift early that morning so Logan could get some sleep. At about 10 am in the guise of a hospice nurse, she walked into the room, Wade was no fool. Only one person still alive (if you could call her alive) looked like that... He knew why she was there. He hadn't seen her in a very long time.

I see we're sticking with the Aubrey Plaza look... tears started welling up in his eyes. He looked at James in the bed beside him Despite looking down at the face of an old man, Wade still saw his baby. His son.

I thought you'd like this look, it's definitely more pleasant than most. If it's any consolation, Wade... I'm sorry I have to do this.

I haven't seen you in over 100 years. Not even the times I've died lately. Haven't seen you since the time I jumped out of an airplane into a volcano after Vanessa dumped me. Now you show up! I know why you're here.

The tears were streaming down Wade's face. Hot on his cheeks, his eyes red. He looks at her pleadingly.

Please, take me instead. Please, Lady Death. Leave my baby alone. Please, I beg you, take me.

Oh, Wade... My love. It has caused me great sorrow to not see you all these years. But don't you know? I can't take you even if I wanted to. You and Logan have woven yourself in the fabric of the universe. You and him are part of Eternity. I can't take you only, Entropy can take you. probably shortly before he takes me... even death has a death.

I know this is hard. I beg you to forgive me... but it's James's time to go. But because I love you. I waited as long as I could, he should have passed before you woke up this morning. But now you have an opportunity to say goodbye...

She moved to the bed and touched James's hand. He sat up and looked at his father.

Why are you crying, dad?

He stood up, out of the bed. Wade jumped out of his chair and embraced him tightly.

Oh, my sweet Kitten. Im so sorry. Please forgive your old man.

Wade sobs for a while before he can talk again...

I remember the day you were born... I loved you, I held you. I swore I'd burn down the world to protect you... but I can't protect you anymore...

Dad, I Don't understand. What's going on.

That's unfortunately my job to explain... but it'd be easier to show you...

She points at the bed; James looks down and to his surprise, he sees... himself. Drained of color, unmoving.

Dr. James Wilson, you have lived your life in service of others. A life well spent. But now is the time to leave that life... I'm sorry

Dad, you don't have to protect me anymore. It'll... it'll be ok.

Kitten... I love you, and though I desperately want to rage and fight and yell to keep you here longer... it's not the right thing to do. My friend here gave me an opportunity few have. I'm going to take it instead of throwing it in her face.

I love you...

I love you too Dad.

Wade hugged his son one last time, kissed him on the cheek, and led him by the hand to Lady Death.

Can... can Logan say goodbye, too?

I'm sorry Wade. I've already pushed the limits of the rules to extend this opportunity to you. I'm afraid I can't

Ok...

He looks up at James.

Your father and I will miss you. Honeybadger loved his kitten as much as I do.

I know, Dad... I know. I want you to know that I had a good life. I'm at peace. I don't want you worrying about me.

You silly boy. It doesn't matter if you're 9 or 97. I was always going to worry about you.

Lady Death extended her hand out to James.

It's time... I'm sorry, but don't be sacred. I promise where we're going isn't bad. It won't hurt.

James took her hand, and slowly took his other hand out of his father's grasp... turned and looked at him.

I love you. You were the best dad. I guess now is the time. Goodbye.

I could have been better, I'm sorry. I love you....... James... it... it might be a while before I see you again... goodbye. I'll always love you, kitten.

They walked away from Wade out the bedroom door. Wades heart broke into a million pieces as they turned to go down the hall. There was a flash of light... and he was gone.

The End.

If fan fics had credits. This would be the closing song. It is special to me... I myself would like it played at my funeral.

youtube

Below is a translation into English. Be sure to give the user who provided it a ❤️

Link to Next chapter

Branched story, this is the Noir final chapter

Branching story the next scene from and unconventional marriage is below

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ramblingautisticman · 2 months ago

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Why Is This Song In My Poolverine Playlist, A Series.

(I am extremely insane and make playlists for every ship/character/show I like, and yes, there is a reason each one is in there. I think of lil scenarios, situations, or straight up story ideas because of a song- so enjoy this series where I write them all down!)

(Part 1, Part 2)

Monster from Adventure Time

So, I honestly hadn't thought about this song in relation to Wade and Logan until @ohitsthemindstuffagain said about it, and now it's all I can picture when I hear it.

This is such a Wade and Logan coded song and it's insane.

"I know we'll never grow old together, cause you'll never grow old to me."

Wade knows Logan is slowly ageing, something he doesn't do, and one day, he will be alone again. One day, he will watch Logan get grey hair, his face gaining wrinkles, his muscles getting softer. He's okay with that. He's made his peace, but it still hurts. Still makes his heart ache to know that one day Logan will die of old age and he will still be here. Wade will still have the same young body he does now. His body will always be 40 years old- and Logan's will always be ageing.

"You're the pink in my cheeks, and I'm scared cause that means I'm a little bit soft."

Logan has softened since knowing Wade. He's become less gruff and angry over time. Wade jokes that he managed to domesticated The Wolverine, and what's funny about that is the fact it's true. Where Logan used to be rough and jaded, he was soft and caring. It scared him. Alot. He was so used to the anger and violence coursing through his body that now- with this love and affection slowly replacing it- he wasn't sure what to do. Wasn't sure how to function.

"We were messed up kids who taught ourselves how to live, and I'm still scared that I'm not good enough."

Wade had always survived- never just lived. Ever since he was a kid. His dad had been an abusive asshole- his mother a cold-hearted bitch- and so he had grown up teaching himself how to survive. How to hide bruises from school, how to make food without getting noticed, how to avoid getting screamed at if he didn't do well on a test. It was ingrained into him as a kid- that he wasn't good. He would never be good. He was a broken fuck up that would never amount to anything. It was something he had taken with him through the rest of his life- and it was something he couldn't help but reflect back on when him and Logan had begun dating. Logan was a hero- he had saved the world more times that Wade could count- and here he was, dating Wade. Dating the one guy he shouldn't. Logan deserved better. Alot better. Deserved literally anyone that wasn't Wade. Logan was so genuine with him though- sounded like he meant every word he said- that slowly, he was helping to break that childhood trauma. He was showing Wade that he was worth something, no matter what some asshole father had said. It was ironic, because Logan had gone through a similar experience as a child, but here he was- helping Wade like it was nothing. He supposed that after 200 years, you resolve some of your issues.

"I've always felt like a monster, long before I was big, but only seen as a monster, let's just say I'm used to it."

Logan had always been told he was a freak, an animal, a killer. Ever since he was young. It hurt- until he had heard it enough times that it was second nature. He started to believe what they said about him. Think about the fact he really was a killer and an animal, the way he slashed through people like it was nothing or the way he growled when he was angry, it was true- wasn't it? And then he met Wade, and Wade showed him praise for all of those things. He never once seemed scared of Logan- infact he seemed to like all of the things he hated about himself. Wade would gush over the claws, joke about him being a cat, shout him on as he took out the bad guys on a mission. It felt strange, being show affection for the things people showed him hatred for for so long, but here it was. The praise he had always wanted.

"Yeah, I'm used to that, but I could get used to this."

His time with Vanessa had been amazing. Wade really had loved her with all of his heart- and he really did think they would be together until the end of time- but life got in the way as it often did. He had accepted she moved on, and while it hurt, he was happy she was happy. That she was finally with someone who could treat her right and keep her safe. It had felt strange to feel that similar fluttery feeling towards someone else- but Logan had managed to slip into that gap in his life with such ease that Wade never even noticed until he found himself not thinking of Vanessa anymore- instead he thought of Logan. It took him awhile to get used to that- to realise he could feel these things for someone else- and he liked it. Love it infact. The way Logan made him feel was so much more different than Vanessa, and he liked that. Logan complelty understood him. Never judged him for his looks or about the way he acted- loved every part of him like it was the easiest thing ever- and Wade couldn't help but find that so much better than what he had with Vanessa.

And the rest of the song? I could make up SEVERAL scenarios or ideas about each lyric for both of them. It fits so well it hurts.

#deadpool and wolverine #poolverine #deadclaws #wade wilson #deadpool 3 #deadpool #logan howlett #wade x logan #logan #wade winston wilson #ramblingautisticman

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queens-of-spirits · 3 months ago

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The Poolverine Playlist

So as I mentioned in the latest chapter of my fic, I have a Poolverine Playlist. I had some people say they were interested so here it is! Please let me know if you have additions or edits to these songs to share! It’s under read more because it is loooooong. I was going to add links but tumblr will not let me add that many.

Like a Prayer by Madonna (3 versions). You know why this is here, I know why this is here, no explanation needed, it is their song

The Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News. It’s the song that plays while Wade is searching for his dream man a wolverine

You’re the One that I want - From Grease. The Honda Odyssey song!!! The thing that, combined with the come hither motions, the taunting, the belt grab, and literally ever other part of this scene, makes it clear that there was a little more than fighting going on in that car.

If I Could Turn Back Time by Cher. I know this one is more from the second movie, but the themes of time travelling to undo past mistakes (specifically of cruel worlds like those initially shared between them) really fits their story

The Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer. My personal alternative soundtrack to the Honda Odyssey scene. They both were enjoying stabbing each other a biiiiit to much for this not to be fair game.

Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) by Edison Lighthouse. I can’t stop imagining this playing over a series of domestic vignettes post-movie where Logan realizes he’s in love. Also, there is hand-holding imagery, you’ll see a lot of that in this list.

Problems by Mother Mother. Particularly the first few verses. The whole finding love in a strange place while locked up in a cage is very them (“Not all of you was asleep,” anyone?) and that first bit about the singer believing that the subject is good enough for heaven but they aren’t? I can see the edits in my mind’s eye. The best part? It works no matter who you imagine as the singer.

Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother. This could be either of them, but I just can’t help by see Logan dealing with his anger and violence and idea that he ruined his worlds and then the two coming together to be fucked up and break shit together.

Curses by The Crane Wives. This is so Worst Wolverine. His world is destroyed and it’s his fault, but then Wade comes along and makes it all easier somehow.

Tongue’s & Teeth by The Crane Wives. Again, so Logan it HURTS. Feeling like a monster that hurts or destroys every good thing and will ruin Wade too, but willing to accept the fact that Wade seems to know this, but doesn’t care.

Predator by The Crane Wives (I really like their music lol). It’s on their latest albums and again. It really embodies the character of Logan to me. Tim’s hard to describe without just showing you guys the lyrics, so honestly go listen to it guys.

Sticks and Stones by The Pierces. This one is hard to describe, so please trust me and listen to it with Poolverine in mind

Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls. Okay, if I had to pick another song for the hand holding to Madonna scene, it’s this one. The vibes are immaculate, the theme talking about not being understood but finding someone who sees you are perfect, but that’s not why it’s here. It’s here because if two lines that are so much like Logan in that moment where he rushes in to save Wade. One: “you’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be/And I don’t want to go home right now.” This one is Logan finding something in Wade he’d thought he’d lost and realizing, perhaps even in that moment, that he doesn’t want to go back to a fixed world. Two: the very first line “and I’d give up forever to touch you.” Logan believes that if he goes in that chamber he will die, but he breaks down the door anyway. He’s literally giving up his effectively immortal lifespan (forever) to touch Wade because he’d rather die with him that live in a universe where he doesn’t exist.

Too Sweet by Hozier. This one is so Logan falling in love with Wade post-movie. Logan having another chance at life and Wade trying to pull him out of his most self-destructive habits while Logan can’t think of anything but how Wade is too good, too sweet for him.

This is Love by Air Traffic Controller. I love these boys but they are a liiiiittle toxic. This is that (plus the knife and gun imagery)

The Red Means I Love You by Madds Buckley. Remember that scene where Wade bled into Logan’s mouth and he had that feral ass grin and laughed? Yeah.

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE by Måneskin. You say rough sex I say Poolverine.

Big Bang Theory Man by Clare Fader and The Vaudevillians. It’s another toxic romance vibes song. This one has guns lol

Somebody to Love by Queen. I think this really exemplifies their lives before they find each other. They’re both lost, both put down by life and the world. They don’t know it yet, but they’re just looking for somebody to love.

You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi. A little more toxicity for the boys. Logan singing this about Wade works well. Like with the idea that Logan played his part in Wade’s game and got sent to the void. Plus comparing Wade to a loaded gun? Yes. Just yes

You Make My Dreams (Come True) by Daryl Hall & John Oates. I like to believe that they both made each other’s dreams come true. Wade got to team up with Wolverine and Logan got a second chance.

The Other Side from the Greatest Showman soundtrack. Look I know Hugh is the one singing here, but I can’t help but draw comparisons from this song to Wade dragging Logan away from the bar where he’s content to waste away.

I Don’t Care if You’re Contagious by Pierce the Veil. My beta reader (crypticanid here on tumblr) recommended this one so it’s here.

The Chain by Fleetwood Mac. The chain is them holding hands to save the world :-)

Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen. Here for dad rock energy and because it fits pre-movie Logan.

Shackled And Drawn by Bruce Springsteen. See above (Springsteen is peak dad rock to me)

Angel Eyes & Basketball by Foot Ox. Look at these opening eyes and tell it isn’t Logan “There are flowers growing all around a massive animal inside of me/And it's so ugly/And I'm so broken/And I'm so ugly/And it's so broken”

Heaven’s Gate by Amélie Farren. This is so Worst Wolverine pre-movie. He’s lost and helpless and blames himself for ruining his world. Also, the bit about “I was told that I was vital in the plan to save my life” is giving Logan agreeing to help Wade so the TVA can fix his world. And not believing in Wade and always running away before finally deciding to stay and follow? So represented in this song. Also! “‘Cause I didn’t deserve heaven, but I’m standing at its gate”? That is so Logan when he sees the start of his life with Wade stretch out before him.

Creepy Old Guy from the Beetlejuice musical soundtrack. This is one of the silly ones, but I find the idea of Wade singing this about Logan, who remember is over 200, really funny. He’s Logan’s controversially young girlfriend.

November by Sparkbird. It’s a song about travelling grouch parallel universes and the vibes are very Poolverine. Plenty of knife imagery.

Loser, Baby from the Hazbin Hotel soundtrack. Look I know this one is a little off the wall, but c’mon, it’s a song where an animal themed alcoholic and a hyper sexual gun-lover who are heavily implied to have feelings for each other sing about how life sucks and they’re both losers, but at least they have each other. It’s one the nose (I would actually cry if someone did artwork of them dancing in front of that billboard like in the show)

#poolverine #deadpool #deadpool & wolverine #logan howlett #wade wilson #wolverine #shipping #ship #ship playlist #playlist #Poolverine playlist #deadclaws #deadpool and wolverine #deadpool 3 #deadclaws playlist #music #idk what my music taste even is #Spotify

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icarusredwings · 4 months ago

Text

Scent. 2/2

Didn't know I had to tag for fourth wall breaks, but here it is! Logan has cuteness aggression. SFW, pg-13, Primal scenting, established poolverine, countryside comedy, angst, and fluff. Wade gets smothered in front of the fireplace by a big domestic wolverine because of his self-confidence issues. Mental health issues.

Post Save a horse/Ride a wolverine

Requested by @asaturnerofficial

“It has nothing to do with the makeup.”

“Then why do you keep taking it off?!”

“Because you don't need it! And it stinks like high heaven, that crap can not be good for your skin.”

“My skins already fucked, James, just leave me alone.”

Still trying to cover his face, Wade whined, frustrated with him and himself for being the way he was. No, it wasn't his fault, but he still felt like shit. His head wasn't nice to him, Logan knew that feeling all too well.

It didn't take long for him to learn when enough was enough, either. They didn't exactly have a safe word rather than a scent, and a tone he knew meant too much. To back off. And as much as he didn't want to, he did, climbing off of him as he sat, his chin in his hand.

“So what? You're just going to do this every day for the rest of your life?” He grumbled, also frustrated that Wade's brain was mean to him, and didn't let him see all the beauty that he had. It took him a long time to learn that what other people thought of him didn't matter as long as the ones that cared about him did just that. Cared.

Letting out a high-pitched groan, He rolled over, covering his head with his hat, grumbling something under his breath.

“...This is because of what that guy said earlier, isn't it?” he muttered, now crossing his arms.

“No-” he lied. And Logan knew it was a lie. He could smell it.

That was the only thing about being with him that made his partners leave, they couldn't slip anything past him and his need to resolve issues (or just straight up leave) made it even more difficult. But he already promised that he wouldn't leave Wade. Not without telling him first, at least.

“You're a terrible liar. You know that?”

“So are you...”

Not in the sense that he couldn't go pick up milk without him freaking out, but if he was gone for more than a couple of days, he'd get a call. And vise versa. Some things they couldn't tell each other for safety reasons.

‘Where have you been?? You reek of sewer’

‘Job.’ Followed by the zipper mouth motion that meant ‘Don't ask details’

‘Aahh.. get it done?’

‘Always do!’

‘Hard?’

‘Nah, panic room.’

‘Uggh panic rooms.’

‘I know, right?’

‘Soooo…’ He'd gesture to him with a finger, questioning about the smell.

‘You don't wanna know. In fact, I don't even wanna know!’

‘Bar?’

‘Shower first.’

‘Taco place?’

‘Taco place.’

Oh, he remembered that day. He ordered tacos from that place Wade liked, and after his shower, they ended up on the couch for a while, then went out for the night. It was like that, and honestly, he had no issues with it. He enjoyed being able to just… BE.. with him. They could just be themselves.

But now Mr. Merc with a mouth, was taking a break from the mercenary stuff. He's been out of his suit more and more. And covering more and more. But why now? Since when did he cover himself up with this junk? He knew Wade did ‘Touch ups with the makeup team’ or whatever he said, but this was just too much.

Part of him felt like he was losing it too because he wanted to march up to that ‘make up artist’ and slash them in the face for making him feel like his entire face needed to be hidden. Though he couldn't, obviously, because that person didn't exist in the material world rather than being a figment of his boyfriends imagination.

“...What gets ratings?” He asks, glancing at him, having an idea.

“What do you mean?” Barely a whimper.

“Well… ratings are good, right? So.. what do they like?” God, he couldn't believe he was going along with this. He hoped it wouldn't make it worse.

“Good writing, amazing actors, a good thrill… I guess.. why?”

Climbing back over him, Logan hovered him with a soft, almost hopeful smirk. “Does this get ratings?” He asked, gently kissing his head, beginning to rub their cheeks together affectionately. “That do anything?”

Looking at him, His face already heated up, giving him that look that never got old. The ‘Holy shit did you just do that?’ Glance with wide eyes and a goofy grin. “I-it's not that simple. I mean, you got the tech crew, The Sound Team, the-”

This kiss was slower, humming into it as he took his hand, holding it intertwined with his own fingers, putting it up above his head. Turning his head a little, He nipped at his tongue, chuckling as he pulled away.

“What about now?”

“I-i…” And that folks is how you shut up your Deadpool. Manual restarts can do the system some good once in a while.

“What? Cat got your tongue, Princess?”

Getting that stare of utter bafflement, he took that as a yes. “Now hold still for me.”

Quickly, he nods, putting his other arm up too, clearly excited assuming this was going somewhere else, but in reality-

Leaning down, He began to kiss every little spot on his face, every patch getting it’s own special attention. Instantly, Wade blushed harder, letting out a sound that reminded him of a squeaky toy, trying to push him away.

“Eeh!! No! I'm still mad at you! You can't kiss your way out of this!” he giggled, but Logan knew he didn't want him to stop and he was starting to smell better already.

Rubbing his scratchy beard against him, he began to let out a little growl. This happens sometimes. He would get too overwhelmed with his emotions and would become angry, snarling at him with their noses touching.

Beginning to laugh, He tried to push his head to the side, knowing he would bite him if he didn't get away soon. “No!! Logan, don't eat me!” He now turned his head elsewhere. “The original line was ‘Please Mr wolverine, devour me in cold hard blood.’ But it didn't test well with younger viewers.”

“Why the hell are younger people watching this to begin with? Go do your homework or Something, ya little brats!”

“GGASSPP Wolvie, stop it! They already did all their homework!... at least they were supposed to..”

“Oh yeah? All of them? Even that one!?” He points directly at you. Yeah, you. You know who you are. “If I find out that you're skipping out on your homework to watch some show that's too old for you, why Im gonna-”

Tapping his shoulder, Logan looked down again at the man trapped underneath him.

“Is that what that feels like? Being ignored? Because if I remember correctly in this scene, I'm supposed to be the one getting attention, yeah?”

“Attention? Sorry, Bub, we're all outta that.” He teased, smirking, happy that his scent was starting to be smothered in him instead of that lousy foundation.

“Actually I believe I had some on back order? I called ahead, you see.” He says, putting his finger up in a matter of fact manner.

“What, like a reservation?”

“Exactly. Now, if you don't mind-” He turns.

“And if You don't mind. I'm the star of this show and I say… Action!”

And that was his cue, Chomping the finger clean off. With a shout and a complaint of ‘That was my good hand!’ a smaller baby finger began to grow back.

“Jesus, peanut, I know you're hungry, but that's why I came in here in the first place! I was gonna ask what you want for dinner. The next thing I know, i'm being assaulted!”

“Oh please. You aren't being assaulted… yet.”

“Yet!? Woah woah woah, Logie, this story is pg-13! We already used up all of our *Beeps* So careful! The studio is gonna be pissed!”

“... did you just bleep yourself?”

“No.”

“Yes you fu-”

“Beeep!”

Staring for a moment, Logan blinked. Alright. That settled it. He was off his rocker. All the screws in his head completely gone, not even loose at this point, just straight up missing.

“...Fu-”

“BEEP!!”

“Yeah, I'm gonna show you beep. Beep this.”

Holding his face still, he decided there was only one way to calm down. And it was a last resort. “You know what I want for dinner, Wade?”

“No. That's why I came to ask.” Oh good lord, there was nothing in that brain of his. Was there? Probably all those damn chemicals -

“Well… I'll give you a hint.”

“Ooh I love this game!!” He cheered, doing a small and excited wiggle.

At this, he couldn't help but chuckle again, leaning in close. “It's right in front of me.”

“Wait.. Wha- Yeouch!!” Before he could fully process the flirt, his oversized weasel of a boyfriend bit him, right in the cheek, and then the nose, then nipped his ears, before finally chomping down on a collar bone. “Hey- No- staaph! Get off of me, you big ape!” He'd whine, pushing his head only for him to bite harder.

“I'm a wolverine, actually. THE Wolverine.” He growls, connecting their foreheads as he smirks, his canines flashing in the firelight before shifting himself to bite him again. The entirety of his neck sat between his jaws, a grumble of satisfaction and playfulness coming from his throat.

His hands came to his hair, petting him a bit and playing with the little curls on the sides, perfectly content to let him get his aggression out. “Are you purri-”

“Nuh!” He growled a bit louder, biting harder, causing a small gasp.

“I don't know, baby girl, sounds like purring to me-”

“Shuddup!” Placing his fist against his skull, the other took his hand, holding it tight.

“God you're so pathetic, aren't you big boy? Getting all worked up over nothing.” Wade teased, not minding his neck becoming a chew toy and his hand getting crushed. Infact he was smiling, looping the little ears around his finger with a giggle.

“Says the one who needs his whole face covered just to go feed chickens.” he grumbled, pulling away and shaking his head a bit, getting off that extra energy.

“That's not fair and you know it.” The one on the floor mumbled, crossing his arms again.

“.. Just because some of us don't need the makeup chair doesn't mean none of us do..”

“You're a real idiot ain't ya?” He muttered, getting up, kicking off his boots as he began to walk off. Sitting up, of course he wanted to follow, but Logan turned, pointing at him sternly. “Stay.”

“Oh, what!? Noo!! I hate when you do this! Logan!” He whined, pouting and kicking his feet like a child, or perhaps A demon who was just placed into a salt circle. Maybe both.

Laying here, Pouty, Wade decided right then and there that if he came back with a camera, he was going to kick him in the balls so hard that they'd have to grow back. How he wasn't sterile by now was beyond him. Then again, Logans never had to do intense chemotherapy either. Blinking, he stared at the fire, debating if he should start doing that again… It made him feel so much worse, but in the long term, he did admit to feeling better.. that was the best part about having a suit that fully covered you, though. No one ever assumed that Spidey had stage 4 cancer. Not ever… oh web powers would be pretty cool though, yeah?

“Yeah.. they would, wouldn't they..”

“Are you talking to yourself again?”

“Do you think it would be cool to have web powers?” He asked, avoiding the question only to turn and see that Logan awkwardly was carrying his make up bag and his template of multiple brushes and eyeshadows.

Within a second, he sat up, panicking with the assumption that he was going to destroy all of it. “Don't you dare!!”

“Don't I dare what?” The man stopped, wondering why he was so upset. He thought guys were into their boyfriends doing makeup for them? They were online anyway. “And as for your question, I'm almost 400 pounds, what do you think? I doubt they could even hold me.”

By now he was standing, almost teary eyed as he pointed at him. “I'm serious, Logan! Don't!”

Blinking, He looked around, a little on edge as if there was a bomb or something, but he didn't see anything. It then hit him in the chest that Wade might actually need to go somewhere else for help. He knew he saw things sometimes, but there really was nothing. “Don't what!?”

Following where he was looking, he held up the bag a bit more. “What? This?” Really, he couldn't be more confused. He knew that it was expensive but he didn't know it was ‘Don’t touch it’ expensive.

“..Please…don't.” Wade whispered, the tears leaving the station, his body language changing to become more shut down, holding himself as he turned to walk in a tiny circle, pacing.

“Okay, okay! Just… "Let's take a breath ..okay?" I didn't know.” Slowly putting the bag down, he put his hands up, taking a step towards him instead. “Come're. What? What's wrong?” But he didn't come nor hear him at all, shaking his head, sniffling.

Oh, it was times like this when Howlett really wished one of his daughters was home. They were so much better at this kind of stuff. Okay.. what would they say..

“Erm.. it's okay.. pumpkin.. just.. tell me, what's wrong?” That sounded terrible. “Uhm..please?”

And that sounded even worse.

Turning, he swallowed, choking out. “Yo-you're going to break it..”

Between the look in his eyes, the way he was standing, and this sentence alone, His eyes widened. “..You thought I was going to bust up all your makeup? On purpose?”

The silence was enough to answer, staring at him as if he'd hurt him if he replied. A lot of people didn't actually know this, but behind that blood lust and violence, there was so much hurt. So much trauma. It was kind of crazy how well their lives matched up, actually. Scary even. Maybe it's why they worked.

“Shit, Wade… I didn't.. I'd never do that to you. I know how much it means to you I just.. Damn words are hard.” He groaned, putting his hands on his head for a moment, trying to think. It was harder to think when he stared at him like that. He's had plenty of people stare at him like he was a rabid, feral animal. They were terrified that he'd hurt them. But this was different, and it hurt a lot more.

He was scared of being hurt emotionally, not physically. And that feeling alone made him want to walk away. To go far far away from Wade so he could never hurt him.

‘I'm not going to walk out on you just because you cry, moron’

‘..promise?’

‘Sure.’

‘Pinky promise? Cross your heart?’

‘Heh. Sure. Cross my heart. Hope to die’

This promise rang through his head every single time he had this feeling. The one deep in his gut that got him here in the first place. He got here by running away. Not anymore. Not ever again.

“Wade, I-... I wanted to do your makeup.” He admits, swallowing seeing as this type of intimate, gentle conversation was new for him, nervous that he'd mess it up again.

“W-what?”

“Yeah, I… I figured..” rubbing the back of his neck, He put another hand in his pocket, grumbling at how stupid this all sounded.

Taking a step forward, he seemed… Hopeful. Trusting and honest. “C-cross your heart?”

Immediately Logan perked up, nodding and crossed his heart with a finger. “Hope to die… come here?” Ah yes, Come here. The classic ‘I'm too manly to ask for a hug’ move.

Sniffling, Wilson wiped his eyes, now feeling like a fool, coming to him as he hugged him, keeping him close as he began to giggle awkwardly. “..H-hi..”

Holding him close and firmly, He rubbed his back, scratching it softly with his nails. These little hellos after disagreements or misunderstandings helped greatly. He wasn't sure why Wade always greeted him, but it felt nice. Part of him wondered if it was himself coming back down to the front or if he was simply saying ‘let's start over’

“...If they can hold a 4 ton truck, they can hold you.”

“Huh??” 2 seconds after making up, and he was already confused.

“The webs.”

“Oh. Yeah, they could then, couldn't they?”

He nods, specifically nuzzling into his chest, taking in that musky, hard-working man smell he always had. Maybe.. he'd stop using the stinky ones.

Move over Janet. You've just been fired and replaced with Mr. Howlett. Director of Scent and the new makeup artist in town.

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