#being kind to myself

[vizthedatum]

I can feel the fatigue creeping in. I must pace myself even if I want to do a million things.

I’m going to finish two work tasks today, and then call it a day.

Focus the rest of the time on snacking, getting movement and stretch, hydrating, napping, and self-soothing stuff.

[im-madam-baby]

Sometimes I wonder why I can be both kind and stupid at the same time, especially when it comes to someone who mistreated me. It's perplexing how my heart can still hold onto kindness, even in the face of mistreatment and disrespect. Perhaps it's my inherent belief in the goodness of people or my desire to see the best in others.

But as I reflect on this, I realize that my kindness should never be mistaken for weakness. It takes strength and courage to be kind, even when it's not reciprocated. However, I must also recognize my own worth and establish boundaries to protect myself from those who take advantage of my kindness.

I'm learning that being kind doesn't mean tolerating mistreatment. It means being compassionate towards others while also valuing and prioritizing my own well-being. So, as I continue on my journey, I'll strive to be kind to myself first and foremost. I'll surround myself with people who appreciate and reciprocate the kindness I offer, and I'll remember that I deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.

[languagendersex]

guys i think i finally defeated my anxiety demon. by loving her. will report back later

[boobytrapzap]

When I was a teen with little purchasing power, I absolutely did not get adequate nutrition. It's not that my family couldn't afford it! But everyone always thought I was too big and therefore should eat little. I think the opposite was probably true; I was big and therefore needed more. I was hungry all the time but I wasn't allowed to eat? Fucked me up.

[tasharoo93]

F is for Frost worm.

Apparently, I am unable to stick to a schedule. Ever.

It's a few days late but part of the reason I took up this challenge was to stop beating myself up when I fall behind. I find berating myself for falling behind does nothing to help me in the long-term goal of posting regularly and enjoying my art. it just makes me feel miserable and stops me from starting for for fear of failure.

Sketching out individual scales on a giant snake probably didn't help with the lateness of the post.

[rebeccasteventaylor]

Today being kind to myself means taking sick leave.

My health is precarious and prone to collapse and did it again this weekend, meaning I spent Friday night in A and E (that was instructive). I got out of hospital Sunday afternoon with a big bag of painkillers that make me woozy.

Old me would have rushed back to work on Monday, determined to struggle through. Old me would have been wrong (especially around two, when the agonising pain made an unexpected come back, like a character thought dead returning briefly for a cameo).

I have taken sick leave. I will rest.

I am deeply aware that I am very privileged to work in a country and for a company that grants sick pay. This particular company was going to cancel sick pay completely, until Covid hit and all the people who were sick came into work before we realised how bad it was/realised it was Covid and spread it around. People died because of that. Now they pay sick pay.

Sick pay ought to be mandatory for all companies in all places. Forcing people into work when sick doesn’t stop skiving. It forces sick people to get sicker and spread disease.

Anyway, my kindness to myself is taking my sick time this time. I will rest. I will not feel guilty about it this.

[magicmalcolm]

Actually bothered to spend some of my Nintendo Points since I saw a few things I liked. A Mario & Rabbids Tote Bag, a Kirby Key Ring and a Pokémon Scarlet & Violet Notebook. Not a bad haul for just shipping fees.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.

[adj4mp]

Getting Sick

It wasn't my intention but I ended up severely unwell whilst in London this week I didn't get nearly as much done as I planned, I feel somewhat like I'm a dozen posts behind where I planned to be at this point.

This has helped me be somewhat more concise in places but it may mean that I'm skipping over a lot of details I might usually include or condensing things more than I'd like.

I'm putting a lot of energy into this and I'm worried putting in more energy is going to have detrimental effects.

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[pears-palette]

One day I will look back on how I am now and wish I hadn’t been so hard on myself.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanessa TOTALLY got those Tapes for the FNAF lore..

[slfcare]

every time you assume that others are thinking negatively of you or judging you behind your back, you are bullying yourself through them. at the end of the day, you don't know what thoughts are running through their heads unless they verbally express them to you. until then, every one of 'their' opinions about you is nothing more than your fear, and whatever assumption is born from your fear is yours to let go - not theirs to disprove.

[kathaynesart]

REPLICA PLAYLIST

MUSIC UNDER CUT

I have been receiving requests for any songs that inspired Replica, so here, have my personal playlist. Sorry it’s not Spotify/Soundcloud but they don’t have some of these songs available so uh… guess you’re stuck with YouTube vids. For fun I'll include my personal titles for them (which might give a few hints of what to expect in the future/end).

Replica Main Theme - “Die for You” by Grabbitz Like Father Like Son Like Brother (Omega and Shelldon) - "As Above So Below" by Alistair Lindsay Mikey's Theme / The 1st Vision - "Suzume no Tojimari" by Nanoka Hara Military (Mad) Dogs / Central Park Colony - "Imperium" by Madeon Shanghai - "Icarus" by Madeon Boom Goes the Donnie-mite (Mikey/Donnie vs the Sweeper) - "The Red Zone" by Mitsuoto Suzuki The Day the Sky Bled Red - "7 Seconds Till the End" by Nobuo Uematsu Going Out Like a Boss (Raph and Leo) - "Agape" by Nicholas Britell Remembering the Right Way (Mikey and Leo) - "The Souls of Many" - by Alistair Lindsay Mystic Hands / The 2nd Vision - "Am I Dreaming" by Metro Boomin x A$AP Book 2 Trailer - "Sea Dragon" by Covet 7 Years Later - "Iron" by Woodkid Leo's Theme / Attack on the Labor Camp - "Ego Death" by Polyphia Omega's Theme - "Touch" by Daft Punk Flat Lines (Omega Alone) - "Die Toteninsel Emptiness" by 1000 Eyes Spear - "Monsters" by Tommee Profitt Final Protocol - "The Kraken" by Katie Dey Rise / Epilogue - "Close in the Distance" by Masayoshi Soken & Tom Mills

I will admit, it's a little embarrassing since you can easily see the patterns of what I've been listening to for the past year or two. I swear I listen to more than just videogame OSTs, these songs just jive well with the story and I often find lyrics distracting when brainstorming scenes. Regardless, the music I listen to is such an important part of my creative process and some of these songs really defined the scenes I now have locked in my head. So I figured it was only fair to give them the credit they're due.

I will continue to add to this playlist, and will note in comic updates when one of these songs is applicable!

[teaboot]

You need to make art that nobody else likes. You need to make art that speaks to you alone. You need to cradle a serpent that eats its own tail and you need to love it until it loves you back

[puppyeared]

learned something about myself lately