#being compared to fake disorder cringe

[marbles-for-breakfast]

I mean, no one actually knows for certain how traumagenic systems form either. The theory of structural dissociation is pretty speculative when it comes to DID. We don’t know exactly what causes most brain differences. The brain is really complicated, and even when we’re able to pinpoint what about the brain causes the differences, the WHY of it is impossible to determine with any sort of certainty in the vast, vast majority of cases.

But aside from that, why do we need to know exactly how we formed in order to accept that this is how we are? Is it really so unbelievable that some people are just born this way? If being plural/multiple is something that can happen, which it obviously is, why are we so sure it can only be caused by one thing? How would you even prove WHY someone is plural/multiple? And if you can’t prove why someone is plural/multiple, how can you prove that all systems are caused by trauma? And if we can’t prove that, why are people so certain? Because it’s not from looking at the science.

So, does telling other people they’re not valid make you feel more valid? Does telling yourself a bunch of tumblr/twitter users are the reason you’re not accepted feel more manageable than grappling with the reality of society’s ableism? Are you simply in an echo-chamber of misinformation and demonizing of other perspectives?

I have an honest and non-judge mental suggestion for the asker here. If you really want to know what someone believes, ask THEM. I know endos can probably be a little hostile to anti-endos because of the whole telling-us-that-our-material-reality-is-fake thing, but I’m sure some people would be willing to be patient and respectful. A lot of us really do just want anti-endos to listen and try to understand. That’s why I try to come across as kindly as I can (even though people can read whatever tone they want into my words), and all I really do is try to explain.

I see some genuine questions on this blog, which makes me sad because I know they’re not going to find any answers here, so I try to give my own and I hope the original question-askers will see them. I just wanna have a genuine conversation where my own existence isn’t called into question or framed as a debate. I just want to refine my opinions and expand my knowledge.

I want to learn about my own system through talking to others. I can’t do that if the tag I’m using is filled with people trying to tell me that we must have some secret hidden trauma we have no evidence for, and if we don’t, we’re not real. Does no one think it’s a bad idea to tell someone who might very well have a dissociative disorder that they’re not real?

Just…. just listen to people when they tell you what their experiences are. That’s all I want. It’s all I ask. I don’t need to give you a source for my experiences being real. It should go without saying that in a space like this, we should believe each other when we talk about our lives. Why does that suddenly stop when it no longer fits the narrative you were told when you first learned about DID? Why is it unthinkable that what you first heard isn’t the full story? Isn’t that usually the case with stuff like this?

Anyway, the only way we’re going to move forward with our understanding of osddid and multiplicity/plurality as a whole is by first believing each other. Or at least being willing to believe SOME things. At least be willing to LISTEN. Again, that’s all I ask. Other endos/inclusivists who feel similarly, lmk. I want to get a sense for how many people feel this way.

this might be a rude thing to ask but i'm not even a system and i'm just curious like. how do endos think systems work? like. how would it form without trauma? spontaneously?

i don't know ... It's honestly confusing

[multiplicity-positivity]

Dealing with Denial 101

We’ve gotten a few asks about dealing with denial as a system, so we wanted to put together a post that we can reference in the future.

Denial, imposter syndrome, and fear of faking are all incredibly common system experiences. Unfortunately, when dealing with something that is so heavily stigmatized and not well understood among the public, these issues come all to easily. Just because you experience these things does not mean you aren’t a system, however! Here’s some things to remember that may help with dealing with feelings of denial:

1. Every system is unique!

You do no favors for yourself, your system, or others by comparing your experiences to those of other systems. An endogenic system’s experience is going to look entirely different from a system with a dissociative disorder, and even within certain origins there is so much diversity! There is no need to deny your system due to having unique experiences. There’s a lot that brings us together as systems, it’s true, but there’s also so much that sets us apart from each other and makes us different and unique! Take pride in this fact and don’t use it as an excuse to deny your system.

2. Created/spontaneous systems are valid!

If you find yourself wanting to deny your system on grounds of being endogenic, feeling like endogenic systems can’t exist and therefore your system can’t exist, we’d like to reassure you that that couldn’t be farther from the truth! Endogenic systems are and have always been an important part of the plural community. Your experiences as an endo system might be totally different from the experiences of a CDD system, but that’s okay! And it doesn’t mean that either of you are inherently faking your experience with plurality.

3. Comorbidities can (and do) happen!

It is possible to be a system (whether disordered or nondisordered) and deal with a myriad of mental illnesses. You can be a system and still have personality disorders, anxiety disorders, developmental disorders or any other sort of mental disorder. The only exception to this would be, you probably can’t have DID and OSDD at the same time. If you’re wondering about comorbidities and your likelihood of experiencing more than one disorder, please consult a mental health professional! Having comorbidities is not an indication of faking plurality and shouldn’t be a reason for you to deny your plural experience.

4. Communication is often difficult!

For many systems, communication does not come easily and is something that needs to be practiced regularly in order to improve over time. Some systems never reach a place of excellent communication, and that’s okay! It’s also perfectly normal to have a system that goes through communicative cycles, with periods of lots of activity followed by periods of silence. Just because you aren’t hearing from your headmates multiple times every day doesn’t mean that you’re not really a system!

5. Introjects are normal!

It’s okay to have tons of introjects in your system, or even for your system to be made up entirely out of introjects! It’s fine to have fictives, factives, octives, faitives, fuzztives, and everything in between. Yes, you can still be a system with a bunch of anime or smp headmates! Yes, you can still be a system of your introjects are weird, “cringe,” canon-compliant, canon-divergent, factives of celebrities, fictives from popular sources, or anything else! None of these things should cause you to deny your system - lots of other systems are in similar situations!

6. Some members are more prone to denial!

Even in diagnosed CDD systems, sometimes hosts, persecutors, or other members dig their feet in and refuse to acknowledge the system’s existence. We know this definitely happened in our system! Just because a particular member often tries to deny the system, doesn’t mean that you’re faking at all! For some members, the realization that they’re a part of a system can be scary, frustrating, and anxiety-inducing. Some may choose to deny that the system exists in order to protect themselves, or to preserve their way of life. A bit of kindness, patience, and persistence can go a long way in getting these members to accept the reality of your multiplicity!

7. A syscovery may happen at any time!

You don’t need a therapist or specialist to confirm that you’re plural. You don’t need outside validation in order for your system to exist. You may discover your system at a very young age, or well into adulthood. Both of these are perfectly fine times to learn about your plurality - there’s no magic age you must be before you can learn about your system! If your system deals with heavy denial or dissociative barriers, it may take multiple syscoveries in order for the realization to stick. This is nothing to worry about and definitely not proof that you’re faking your plurality!

8. Fakers don’t usually stress about whether or not they’re faking!

Faking an illness is a conscious effort that takes time, knowledge, and dedication. Fakers also don’t worry too much about whether or not they’re faking - for the most part, they absolutely know that they are! If you’re worried that you’ve been faking your plurality all along, honestly chances are slim that you’re actually faking. Try to stay calm and patient, and allow your headmates to speak for themselves on whether or not they think you’re faking your plurality!

9. It’s okay to question!

It’s okay to spend a long time wondering whether or not you’re actually plural. It’s okay to experiment with labels and try some out before you’ve figured out the origins of your system. It’s okay (and recommended, and healthy!) for you to question whether or not you have a trauma history or childhood memory gaps, and to rule out trauma as a cause for your plurality first. It’s okay to have a “pillowgenic” label one week and a “stressgenic” label the next. Questioning is a big part of self-discovery - the mere act of questioning your plurality doesn’t mean that you’re not actually plural by any means. Take your time with figuring out who you are!

10. It’s okay to be wrong!

There’s so much more we’d like to add here, but the last thing we’ll say is it is absolutely fine to be wrong about your origins, headmate count, or your plurality overall! You are not hurting anyone by exploring the concept of plurality, wondering if multiplicity affects you, and ultimately deciding you’re a singlet. It’s also perfectly fine to be wrong about your origins or to discover you’re traumagenic later in life. Deciding you’re endogenic after discovering childhood trauma may not be a wise thing to do, but other than that, it’s okay to be wrong about your experience and the language you use to describe it!

Sorry for the long post! Hopefully some of these affirmations will be reassuring for struggling systems out there. Remember that we’re in your corner rooting for you regardless of your origins or whether or not you experience denial! Please know we’ll always believe you, and we hope that one day you’ll be able to believe in yourself and your system!

(Image ID:) A pale orange userbox with a cluster of multicolored flowers for the userbox image. The border and text are both dark orange, and the text reads “all plurals can interact with this post!” (End ID.)

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Why is it that everytime I join a small creator's server it's either empty, or the person has a rancid take on systems or the pluralkit bot. (Or both)

Joined a server for a reaction YouTuber I've been watching for years, searched to see if they have pluralkit. They don't and there's a message from him specifically saying that they never will because "I don't want to add something that could result in people roleplaying mental illnesses."

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. And all from a supposedly progressive guy??? Jesus fucking Christ. I don't even know if I'm going to be able to watch his videos anymore!!!! I'm so hurt

Brother in Christ that's the same shit as saying we shouldn't have disability benefits because "what if someone fakes the disability and actually COULD get a job :(" you're going to refuse an accommodation because someone somewhere might hypothetically misuse it??? I'm so mad.

"roleplaying" is such a weird way of putting it too like what is this, fucking system cringe reddit? Why are you talking like that. Excuse me?!! ROLEPLAYING??? I hate it when people accuse people of faking in all contexts but for some reason calling it roleplaying feels way worse. It feels so...like...icky? It feels like it's making a correlation between the random XD "cringe" of roleplaying and faking disability, which is inaccurate, or suggesting people fake disabilities for no reason but to have fun which is also inaccurate (normal people don't just DO that. It's a sign of serious problems and also not some lighthearted hobby, if someone was to do that it'd be a serious and very manipulative undertaking and one a person would have to seriously dedicate themselves to for some reason or another, stacking lies and shit over and over. It's not something someone would just pick up one day for funsies, it's not just deeply fucked up but also genuinely hard to do? Lying all the time is hard? Which ties into NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T JUST DO THAT)

He did add the caveat that he doesn't have the right to say who's telling the truth or not, which is true, but that's the bare minimum dude. "I don't get to tell you you're lying" is the BARE minimum.

At least it's not as bad as last time but seriously dude what the fuck. Crazy behavior to prop up some strawman and be like "nah sorry boys, can't give you this accommodation that would take me barely any time to set up because someone somewhere someday might happen to be a disorder/disability faker and join my server and use it to fake being disabled for some reason" like .... I'm sure he wasn't thinking it through in that way and probably did have good intentions. I'm sure he thinks this was the right thing to do. But if you pause and really LOOK at it, especially compared to similar situations with other accomodations, it's very....bad.

Not building a ramp, or not giving people disability benefits, or not letting people wear headphones for sensory reasons, or WHATEVER, is garbage even if the person claims it's because they're trying to stop other people from using it. This isn't different. People asked you for an accommodation and you said no because "well what about people who are faking it", it's the same underlying bone structure with different meat on it.

[lunaslefthand]

nothing phases me anymore not even this trans identified incel era of anti feminist backlash compares to being 12 in the 2016 election feminazi cringe compilation feminist owned era. boys were literally making nazi salutes and jokes about raping and killing feminists after getting the idea to do so off the internet. no wonder i was desperate to halt my development into a woman. i cant imagine how much worse my pubertal dysphoria and mental health issues wouldve been if i had to deal with the pandemic that young. I cant even get mad at younger TIFs or fake disorder cringe they thems because i know their distress is real and they were locked alone in their rooms with their phones for two years and are just looking for a way out. but i will never feel as hopeless and alone as that fall of 2016 tee hee. also i got desensitized to rape threats so gendies and their jokes about raping and killing terfs dont phase me this is optimism right

[starseers]

You wanna know the reality of dissociative identity disorder?

Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is:

Crying, begging yourself that it's fake cause it's terrifying

Reliving trauma over and over again

No memory of childhood and often memory gaps depending on the system

Being told you need to "go back to church" or "get off the internet" or "get over it", etc.

Being dubbed "demonic", "crybaby", "attention whore", etc.

Being more likely to fall into/back into abuse

The 70 PERCENT SUICIDE RATE

Being unable to get diagnosed due to stigma

The stigma in general, paired with such heavy amounts of misinformation that it makes it hard to find accurate/up to date studies and research

Ableism and distrust from medical professionals

Being denied medical help because your deemed mentally unstable

Being compared to "those 'freaks' on TikTok"

Video's on top of video's making fun of people with DID and misunderstanding majority of the disorder

People romanticizing and making your disorder an aesthetic

Dealing with ableism and toxicity not only outside, but within the DID community

Getting fakeclaimed for not only the disorder but for the very trauma that caused it

Getting fakeclaimed for having a large headcount

Getting fakeclaimed for having a low headcount

Getting fakeclaimed for having introjects or non-human alters

Getting fakeclaimed for having young alters or having only older alters

Getting fakeclaimed for being young

Getting fakeclaimed for being old

Getting fakeclaimed for not "acting disordered"

Getting fakeclaimed for acting "too disordered"

Getting fakeclaimed for having comorbid disorders

Getting fakeclaimed for not having the exact same traits or symptoms as someone else with DID

Getting fakeclaimed because the disorder isn't "believable"

Getting fakeclaimed for not having amnesia or blackouts

Getting fakeclaimed because you switch "too fast"

Getting fakeclaimed because you switch "too slow"

Getting fakeclaimed for anything anyone can come up with

The "host > rest of the system"

Being forced to think DID has to act a specific way or look a certain way

Nobody ever bothering to understand or study the disorder

Being spoke over by non-disordered voices

Being treated like a circus attraction or test subject

All the horror movies based on the disorder

The ideology that everyone with DID is criminal or predatory

All the distrust

Getting told your trauma wasn't "that bad/bad enough"

Being terrified of being seen as "cringe-y"

Never ever being able to be fully open and true to yourself

In some cases, not even being able to tell your own family

Isolation.

This is not at all meant to be seen as looking for sympathy, I want people to understand what people like us have to deal with on near daily basis both inside and outside the internet. These are all very real things, and of course everyone's experiences vary individually, but these are some of the most common things I've seen among the DID community.

Systems are free to add on sharing their own experiences and everyone is encouraged to reblog. (/Nf)

Any non-traumagenic "systems" can find another post, this isn't for you, our struggles are completely different.

[violencebian]

i've been trying to avoid syscourse recently for our mental health and i already replied to this post mentioning it with my two cents (please do not witch-hunt the original poster or go looking for this post to harass op) but i figured it's something i wanted to talk about anyway because it weighs on my mind.

before i begin, i don't want to start a huge fight with this. i'm not attacking or going after endos even though i'm an anti. i genuinely wish to get through to endos/tulpas/supporters on our thought processes and how we see this and why comparing systemhood to queerness leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

respectability politics doesn't have as big an impact on anti-endo stances as you think it does.

we do not care if endos are "cringe" and "cant be taken seriously" because us traumagenics already aren't taken seriously. we're constantly fake claimed for being "too weird" even if we're showing normal symptoms of DID/OSDD, made fun of for being cringe or eccentric, and seen as just a party trick. we are upset with endos because they spread misinformation about our disorder causing them to mislead systems even if unintentionally, can get in the way of others recovery, and leads to the commodification of our disorders and/or trying to make them "palatable."

we're not gate keeping or engaging in respectability politics. that kind of thinking cannot be applied here. i often see the transmed comparison and while you can debunk sysmed as not having ties to trans medicalism and meaning system medicalism instead it's not a coincidence the two terms are similar. syscourse by those under the endo/tulpa umbrella and their supporters is often viewed through the lens of a queer person in queer discourse but that's not the right way to approach the endo vs anti debate, or any syscourse topics in general.

being queer is an identity label, it has no inherent impact on your mental health. without outside factors such as queerphobia or heteronormativity being queer would not shape your mental health. being a system and having DID/OSDD however, does impact your mental health regardless as it's a mental health disorder (often viewed as the most intense forms of ptsd).

so why is it wrong to approach syscourse that way? because to treat being a system, having did or osdd as just an identity, a label you put on yourself diminishes the impact it has on people with did/osdd. yes, it's still a huge part of us and our identities but to act like it's simply an identity and nothing more erases how it shapes our mental health and causes suffering. it's erasing the disorder behind the system which ultimately comes from a place of ableism whether it's what you intend or not.

[kafus]

i have wondered this so long especially with all the ppl lying about did and your really the only credible source so,, like how do i expln this can you feel if one alter touches another idek if this makes sense lets say someone is fronting and someone else inside that system touches them would u feel that?? idk all the terms and stuff sorry if this doesn't add up lmfao

kind of? personally i have a really vivid headspace and in a way i can kind of feel a "ghosting" sensation when i am, ie. hugged by an alter... but it's not really a hallucination, it doesn't feel the same as real touch, it's in my head the same way i "hear" my alter voices in my head. different systems have varying experiences with this sort of thing, it's different for everyone

also i'm not sure who you are but i am just a random person with DID on the internet and i appreciate that you don't think i'm lying about having the disorder and that i'm a credible source, but i really encourage you to try to seek out scientific sources or reach out to people who you trust who make themselves readily available for this kind of thing - i am fairly researched on my own condition and i don't mind answering questions but i'm not a doctor and being told i am "the only credible source" is a little concerning and also wrong

i also really don't want to be held up as "someone who doesn't lie about their DID" in comparison to people on the internet because the implication that someone is willing to fakeclaim or judge my peers with DID when they do not have the knowledge or license to do that, and that they're only talking to me because i'm "not like them" is a little frustrating and just kind of a red flag. there are people who lie about their DID out there and there are a lot of confused teenagers who think they might have DID and actually don't, but people who make a point of talking about who's faking and who isn't tend to say a lot of ableist or misinformed nonsense to justify why they think someone's system who they think is a little Cringe must be faking, or they make people divulge their personal trauma details to defend themselves, or they go out of their way to bully teenagers when it doesn't help anyone with or without the disorder... plus we only see one side of that person’s life, what they choose to share on social media. and besides, it's not any of our places as random internet strangers to decide on someone's diagnosis for them, that's between a person and a doctor. at the end of the day if you think someone is faking you are fully within your right to steer clear or not engage with their online presence or content, and i don't feel comfortable engaging with someone who i know would start thinking that i'm faking if the convo got a little too weird for them.

i really do appreciate you reaching out but i just want to be clear it's uncomfortable to have myself compared to supposed "liars" and i don't want to be held up on a pedestal. but i really do not mind answering questions about DID from my personal experience if anyone is interested in that sort of thing or would find it useful! i'm pretty much an open book about that kind of stuff. been in therapy for 3 years so i have a lot sorted out and am fairly confident in talking about it

[system-of-a-feather]

Yeah it's so unreasonable that people would find it more believable when people with a trauma disorder actually behave like they're traumatized. That doesn't make any sense at all.

Bro what the fuck is "behaving traumatized"? Do traumatized people have to look like they walked out of fucking Vietnam or something? Like? Do you not realize that the media / stereotyped depiction of being traumatized is literally just one presentation of it?

And also like, did you know a common behavior people who are traumatized so is - you know, avoid talking about it, avoid addressing it, avoid everything relating to their trauma, and when it comes up to often deflect, change the topic, or make a joke out of it?

Ya know, trying not to look traumatized and making things look more fun / fine than they actually are??

And also did you like, know that wasn't at all the point of the post?? Of course people who are more obviously traumatized are more believed to have a trauma disorder, but the point of the post was about fakeclaiming and trying to compare pain and suffering?

You aren't entitled to see people have breakdowns and look like a hot fucking mess; nor is anyone who has trauma required to show or present themselves as a hot fucking mess. And you know what else? Just because someone doesn't show how much of a mess they can be doesn't put you in the position where you can go and call people fake because that is literally none of your business?

Also if you are upset cause I said "More Suffering =/= More Valid" than good job, you are anti-recovery. Because newsflash, as you recover you suffer less and that doesn't make you any less valid.

If you are not suffering all too severely anymore, that's fucking good and does not at all remove your validity because NEWSFLASH, recovery is a fucking thing that happens and everyone is at different stages and different place in life.

Man I could go on about how stupid this anon's comment is but I really don't have the time or energy to waste on this. I'm probably just gonna delete any follow up asks that are negative or about this topic cause god its a waste of time.

The only reason I replied to this is cause the idea of "behaving traumatized" is a laughable concept with how varied people cope and respond to trauma and also because I wanted to make the point that going off of Pain Olympics to measure who is more valid is literally just discouraging recovery.

Pain Olympics helps no one and punishes people for trying to live and successfully learning to manage and live with their disorder.

So to correct your response to my post; yes it is unreasonable and ridiculous to judge someone and assume you know their trauma history because you don't think they live up to your specific idea of what trauma SHOULD look like.

OH also if you are here because you support the subreddit, you literally can't make anyone on there happy. I've seen them bounce between "too dramatic, this is TV trauma" and fuckin "nope too normal people shouldn't be able to drive".

Additionally everyone on that subreddit literally suffers from horrific confirmation bias. If you are professionally diagnosed and have an opinion / experience that doesn't fit their opinion of what a traumatized person / someone with DID look like, you are lying, faking, and/or have a stupid psychiatrist. If you are professionally diagnosed and have an opinion and experience that does fit their opinion OH BOY FINALLY SOMEONE REAL!!! Even if neither provide any form of evidence of their diagnosis.

Additionally additionally, its really fuckin dumb how most of the reddit is just people going "Well I'm real and better than the others doing it for attention!!!" and like, dude, not saying you are faking, but dude, if you are against people showing up their mental health for attention and shit, don't fuckin post about how you are the REAL DEAL yourself, it's hypocritical as shit.

Anyways, thats my tangent and opinion on Pain Olympics and the dumb reddit cringe stuff. I regularly follow both the cringe subreddits cause its kinda funny watching them implode on themselves every month.

-Riku (Host)

[darkqueenofshadows85]

Introduction

Greetings, mortals! I am the Dark Queen of Shadows!

I am 26 years old, my pronouns are she/her and they/them, I am a longtime Sonic nerd (I like the Dark Era of Sonic games the best, especially ShTH and 06), a horror movie buff, an 80's pop culture enthusiast, and one of the biggest Brave Little Toaster fans you will ever find. I am autistic and aroace, I post art, blog posts, opinion posts, and general random thoughts from time to time, and I am goth and proud 🖤💀🖤

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Before You Interact

• I have a tendency to swear a lot, especially when I'm frustrated, angry or upset. If you're not comfortable with that, then you might not want to follow me.

• I can be prone to anxiety, paranoia and RSD at times, so I will need comfort and reassurance during those times when I have a panic attack or my anxiety/paranoia gets the best of me. And if I unintentionally did something to wrong you, please tell me! I will try to make amends in the best of my ability.

• I'm a passionate individual, especially when it comes to my special interests (listed below). I don't mean to come off as annoying if I discuss my special interests a lot, I just want to share my passion and enthusiasm for the things that bring me comfort and joy.

• Please do not discuss religion or politics with me in ANY capacity. This is a strictly non-religious and apolitical blog, and I'm not in the mental state to be constantly pressured into picking a side on any debate pertaining to either topic. Besides, I came here to create and consume fan content pertaining to my special interests and live my happiest life, not get caught up in any sort of religious or political discourse.

• If you recognize me from my Amino days or even my early Tumblr days for that matter, please leave me be. I'm not the same kind of person I was back then, and I've distanced myself from certain spaces and people for several reasons that are rather personal (and before you ask, no I will not elaborate on that any further and that's final /srs).

Do Not Interact

• Proshippers/pedophiles/zoophiles/paraphiles in general

• NSFW blogs

• Fetish blogs

• Racists, ableists, people who fake disabilities/disorders for attention

• Gaslighters and manipulators

• Misogynists + gender wars

• Incest shippers

• Homophobes, transphobes, and acephobes

• Anti-objectum and/or think it's a fetish or para

• Supporters of PETA and Autism Speaks

• N*zi or Trump supporters

• People who enjoy problematic pairings (ex. manipulative or abusive relationships, etc.)

• People who depict Black Doom as a "bad" or "abusive" father, especially comparing him to the likes of Black Death and Starline

• SCU haters. If you spread negativity about the SCU for ANY reason, get the fuck off my blog. The Sonic Movie series (and my Sonic Movie AU ESPECIALLY) is up there with The Brave Little Toaster in terms of being among my biggest comfort media of all time, and I WON'T stand for it getting shit on.

• Toxic people/discourse bringers

• Overly religious/political individuals (see BYI above for further elaboration)

• People who endorse cringe culture, cancel culture, NFTs, doxxing, etc.

• H*rry P*tter fans/JKR supporters

• Butch Hartman supporters

Interests

Special Interests:

• Sonic the Hedgehog

• The Adventures of Team Dystopia, my Sonic Movie AU (it's my pride and joy, I love it so much ^w^)

• The Brave Little Toaster (my number one comfort movie that lives rent free in my mind 24/7 ♡)

• 1980's pop culture

• Horror films (A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Lost Boys, My Bloody Valentine, etc.)

Other Interests of Mine

• Pokémon

• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (I'm particularly fond of the 1987 cartoon and the 1990 live action film)

• The Black Cauldron

• The Nightmare Before Christmas

• Coraline

• The Amazing Digital Circus

• Studio Ghibli films (Kiki's Delivery Service is one of my personal faves ♡)

• Don Bluth films (mainly The Secret of NIMH, The Land Before Time and All Dogs Go to Heaven)

(I'm sure I'll think of more at a later time; these are just the ones I can think of right off the top of my head ^^")

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

My Sonic Movie AU blog:

@adventures-of-team-dystopia

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Thank you for reading my bio! Be sure to stay updated on my latest posts!

Farewell!

[gncrevan]

i decided not to engage & instead block op for my own sanity, but this is still a bad fucking take.

1. i actually know what person they are referring to and i have seen the horrible bullying and ableism with which they were treated on tiktok, so i literally don't care if they're fake or not, it was bad, they're a teenager and deserve to be defended from adults and peers leading a harassment campaign.

2. ppl online often exaggerate or confabulate, that doesn't mean they don't have a condition. there is a fucking incentive for ppl to play up or even lie about their symptoms online due to how social media works. that doesn't mean they don't still have a disorder, you don't know them personally, you're not their doctor. you can't dx someone over the internet.

3. fakeclaiming always harms disabled & mentally ill ppl. faking a disorder or disability is very rare, but almost every disabled person who talks about their condition gets accused of it. hell, especially when it's about DID. all the DID youtubers i know of have been accused of faking. i haven't met a single disabled person who hasn't been accused of faking or at least exaggerating their symptoms. compiling "masterdocs" to "prove" that someone is faking feeds into harmful ableist stereotypes, plus it's just plain weird and creepy. why are y'all so fucking obsessed with surveillance and online vigilantism, don't you have any hobbies??

4. everybody deserves to be treated with empathy and respect, especially when they're not harming anyone but themselves. it's one thing to "bully" a nazi off a platform (it's not real bullying lol i just don't know what word to use), that's just basic community safety, but a teenager who's only being cringe and maybe perpetuating some comparably harmless misinfo? what the absolute fuck. also, idk, if someone tells you they have a disorder, you don't have to believe them, but it costs exactly zero dollars to leave them alone if you don't. and if your argument is "they're clearly trolling", ok, all the more reason to leave them the fuck alone.

5. yeah, a lot of ppl don't understand psychosis, or delusions, or factitious disorder. and some use these terms incorrectly. doesn't change the fact that it's the kind, morally correct, and statistically supported thing to engage with someone who claims to have a disorder on the assumption that they do have a disorder, whether this one or a different one. if someone claims to have EHS, i know that they don't because it's pseudoscientific nonsense, but that doesn't mean they don't have an illness they are suffering from, and assuming they're a faker or a hypochondriac literally doesn't help anyone. it's frankly childish to call those who attempt to engage in good faith "dumb as fuck" just cause you don't want to have empathy with someone you have deemed a bad person.

[friendofthecrows]

Posting a way more in-depth description of my alters than any of you want or need because why not

Keiko: friendliest, nicest, cutest, acts the youngest. Used to front a lot when we were hanging out with friends. Still essentially like the rest of us in that she has the same personality disorders (pointing this out because you wouldn’t guess she has ASPD but we all do. No, none of us are “more of a psychopath” or evil vs good or whatever compared to one another). She just seems more able to feel/express the positive spectrum of emotions, she hasn’t repressed it or detached herself from it as much. She/her pronouns. Aroace. Current fave thing: either MLP or stimboards

Miyuki: calm, collected, responsible, acts like a gatekeeper of the system a lot as in she’s the only one we can actually trust to moderate the rules objectively. Also has pulled people out or put people in control before. Less “control panel” access than say Jokul or I though, but probably only due to lack of practice. THE most sane one (idk how that works either) and the one with the least emotional turmoil. Used to wonder if 1. She was capable of caring about people and 2. If she actually felt any emotions at all. The answer is yes she does, she just Bottles Them Up Completely. We are taking it in faith that she feels stuff because the body cried once while she was in control. Pronouns: she/her. Sexuality: ???? when it comes to romance, but definitely ace. Current fave thing: tea, specifically a nice warming oolong like Da Hong Pao.

Yahto: (me!) people are suggesting ways to describe me and it is mean. For most of my knowledge of my own existence as a separate alter, I’ve kind of assigned myself the role of protector. I was very functional as well! Confident (bordering on insufferably arrogant), and with the level of detachment from my emotions I had at the time as well as my complete lack of fear, perfectly suited to deal with a wide variety of situations. Only if we were okay with other people thinking we’re weird because I used to have a worse filter than I have now. I experienced fear for the first time 3.5 years ago right alongside the strongest emotions I’ve ever felt and my mental health has been spiraling downwards ever since :) Also I am literally the most stubborn person you will ever meet. He/him pronouns. Anything having to do with orientation is a big question mark right now, I just know I’m probably not interested in men. I HAVE dated women but tbh I’m no longer sure if I’m even interested in them. Current fave thing: yahto.exe stopped working 38 hours of being awake ago. Uh,,,,idk sorry How about reading fzanfic to pass the time fnafic fanfic

Jezebeth (Jez): (headspace bestie! Great at writing horror poems!) Does Not Care About People but also surprisingly extremely chill. When she’s enthusiastic about something, she’s REALLY ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT IT but otherwise mostly just stays quiet and has a nice time Observing. People either find her really fun to be around or creepy. No in between. She went through a phase where she thought it was funny to creep people out by saying really messed up things so that probably didn’t help. Actually, DURING said phase, she single-handedly made and maintained the best in-school friendship we ever had for 4 years. Literally none of us talked to her except for Jez. She just had endless “creepy” conversation topics and Robin thought it was *amazing. * She/her pronouns, I have no idea sexuality wise simply because she does not talk about that kind of thing. Current fave thing: inking pens :)

Jokul: (sworn enemy, tried to kill myself once to take him down with us) Perfectly reasonable person realistically. Nothing particularly wrong with him. I just Do Not Like Him. Especially since for as long as I can remember, we’ve made it a game to torment each other. You see, we both hate boredom more than anything else, or at least we did when we were even younger and more naive and we’re not actually malicious, and yet foolishly prided ourselves on not being nice and also our ability to manipulate people. No, little kid me was probably not actually an expert on manipulation, we just thought we were at the time. This all resulted in us taking our boredom, pent up malice, and desire to prove we were better than one another on each other. Such a great idea (sarcastic). We did in fact get better at emotionally wounding people after years of practice, and predictably (if we had any foresight on this matter at all) it backfired! I did in fact turn this skill against the one person I cared about in an effort to push them away during one of my breakdowns and it resulted in 6 suicide attempts, not including my own. Jokul has been trying to manipulate me positively since (both of us have been ordered to be nice to each other by Miyuki because we were causing too many problems) and it has Not Worked. If he was a separate person, I would skin him. The only person I’ve hated so much. We’ve been on relatively good terms lately. Been capable of having casual conversations. Things are okay, I guess. His personality is entirely fake, so I don’t know how to describe it except for how he acts when we’re trying to hurt each other, which might be him dropping his mask or it might be a whole different act just for that. Pronouns: He/him. Sexuality: He can change it at will? I think default is aroace though? Current fave thing: *Jokul imitation* “My purple silk dress I wear when I’m meeting people and am desperate for them to worship my beauty. I look so irresistibly elegant in it, it makes everyone like me automatically.” His actual answer is Death Note (cringe) (I’ve been yelled at for calling Death Note cringe)

Gracelynn: (headspace ex-bestie) Everyone thinks she’s the nicest person ever and super loyal and so on. She is to other people but apparently not to me anymore. Still finds it difficult to empathize with people and care about them, but apparently decided to be nice anyways. Like she doesn’t get the fuss about friends but she’s here for them anyways. Spends as much time daydreaming as possible these days, used to front A TON a few years ago. Extremely shy and full of social anxiety and anxiety in general. Goes nonverbal in a plethora of social situations. Freakishly good memory. Has way less memory gaps than I do and I have no idea why. She/her pronouns, probably aroace Current fave thing: brace yourself for no surprises, a tie between horseback riding and the Chronicles of Amber.

Ryo: (the alter of many names: Ryo, Rachel, Ry, Rei, R) The newest. Noticed a new voice and behavior that did not match any of ours a while after the events of 3.5 years ago. Might be coincidence, might not be, I don’t care. Kind of down to earth and practical and normal compared to the rest of us. Despite him being here for years now I don’t know that much about him partially because I don’t care and haven’t been paying attention, and partially because system communication hasn’t been that great (I’ve also been getting way more memory gaps! Whole days lost! Isn’t that great? (sarcastic)). Pronouns: varies, any are fine. (Despite us, in general, identifying as gender fluid so we don’t have to explain, Ryo is the only ACTUALLY gender fluid alter in our system) Aroace. Current fave thing: He said sleep, he wants us to go to sleep. (refuses to answer the fun question genuinely) Well Ryo, you have just failed my vibe check. Your reward is uh,,,AT LEAST 13 more hours of being awake. Yayyy

(I did colors here but the all green theme will stay in other posts <3 Really if I had to describe our auras it would be different shades of blue anyways.)

[is-this-a-skam-account]

A Christmas as (a fake) Elu 1/3

Also on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21350677/chapters/50853832

“I have a girlfriend, you know.”

“And yet your hands are dangerously low.”

Lucas isn’t even sure if his dancing partner heard him, but he takes the low hum he hears from behind him as recognition enough. He sucks in a breath when the strangers hands tighten around his waist and pulls them closer together. Lucas had made contact with the stranger from across the bar, he winked and the guy bought him a drink. Soon enough he was being asked to dance.

“It’s really just that easy for you, huh?” Yann had made a snarky remark next to him.

Lucas gave him a small smile that said: “what can I say. When you look this good they flock to you.”

But Lucas wanted to scream. He wanted to scream because the one person who he actually cares about asking him to dance is too busy talking it up with the bartender, not even sparing Lucas a glance when he’s dragged to the dancefloor. He has been hopelessly in love with Eliott, his best friend, since middle school. Ever since he told Lucas about his bipolar disorder. Ever since they promised to never leave each other. 

“What do you say we get out of here?” the guys rough voice says into the soft skin where Lucas’s ear meets his neck.

“Hm, what would your girlfriend say about that.”

“I say she doesn’t have to know.”

Lucas sighs dreamily, “so charming, why don’t you just whisk me off into the sunset?”

Suddenly the warmth pressed to Lucas’s back is gone. There’s a ghost of a touch gracing every inch of his skin. He turns to find the guy backing out of the crowd with a smile on his face. Lucas follows.

As Lucas follows this stranger through the Parisian streets, he knows he will regret it in the morning. He knows he will wake with a sore body and splitting headache. He will wake up before the stranger and slip out without another word. He will feel a small glimmer of a flame inside him, that maybe he was able to get over with this random guy. Maybe there was something special about this one night stand. But the flame will fizzle out, like a candle coming to the end of its life. He will go home knowing that nothing could ever compare the raging fire that he feels when he’s with Eliott.

::

“Yann, can you pick me up? I gave Arthur my wallet last night so I don’t have money to get a cab.”

His friends voice is rough and scratchy when he answers. The voice of a person just waking up after a night out, “yeah sure, just send me the address.”

“Thank you.”

He spends the few minutes waiting for his friend by scrolling through social media. He sees all the posts from his friends the night before. He likes and comments on all of them. He doesn’t see anything from Eliott. No posts, texts or calls. He briefly lets his mind wander to what Eliott could have done after he had left. Maybe he took that bartender home. Or maybe he found someone else to occupy his time. Maybe he didn’t hook up with anyone last night. But, knowing Eliott and how his face and body draws people to him like bugs to a light, that’s a very slim chance. 

Finally Yann pulls up and Lucas jumps in without a second delay. They drive in silence for what could be longer than a second before Yann is asking, “how ya feeling?”

“Sore, and like I really need coffee. I think that dude threw out my back,” he groans to nail home his point.

Yann laughs, “was he bad?”

“Not bad, just rougher than I thought he would be.”

“Eliott didn’t go home with anyone.”

“Why are you telling me?”

“Because I knew you would ask.”

The guys all know about his crush on Eliott. Well, except for Eliott of course. They were back in high school when he decided to tell the gang about his sexuality. They had been super accepting, even though Lucas had burst into tears the second after he proclaimed his undying love for his best friend. They had asked if there was anything to do, but what could they do? Yann had pulled him aside later and tried to convince him to talk to Eliott about it. “No, Yann,” Lucas had said, “I know how that conversation is going to go. I’m going to tell him ‘hey, I’m so in love with you that I think about kissing you everytime you smile at me. I literally think you are the freaking sun and without you my world is dark.’ And he will say ‘jee, Lucas, I’m not sure if I want things to change between us. I love you but as a brother. Why can’t we just keep what we have? I don’t want to jeopardize anything.’ And I’ll be all ‘yeah you’re right.’ But do you know what will happen after that? Things won’t go back to normal. We’ll start acting weird around each other, we won’t be able to act the same after I proclaimed my love because everytime he will look at me he will feel pity. Because I can’t face the fact that he will never love me like I love him.”

“You don’t know shit,” Lucas says, angled more towards the car window than at Yann.

“He was watching you, you know,” Yann flicks his gaze between Lucas and the road, “he was watching you dance with that guy. He looked so hurt, Lucas. I thought he was about to go march out there and tear you away from him.”

“He was probably looking at the guy I was dancing with, not me.”

“God, you are so dense!”

“Yann, he doesn’t love me! I’m his best friend. I think I would have noticed if he thinks of me in that way.”

Yann huffs out an angry sigh, “Lucas, I need some advice.”

“Shoot.”

“So, I have a crush on this girl-”

“Yann…”

“No! No, just hear me out. I have a crush on this girl. I’ve known her nearly my entire life. When we were in elementary school we would always play house together and we would tell each other things no one else knew about. During middle school we grew even closer. She ended up being my first kiss the night she told me some...really personal things. Throughout middle school we hung out and during sleepovers we would kiss and...and he-she told me she loved me. But then, she got a boyfriend. I was confused, because why would she kiss me and then get a boyfriend? But that boyfriend ended nearly right after it began. They didn’t even make it to the beginning of high school. High school began, and she didn’t see anyone else, though her ex-boyfriend and her were on and off. Sometimes it felt like she only had eyes for me. We were, and are, still super touchy with each other, people mistook us for a couple multiple times and still do, and I finally realized that I love her around that time. Now we are in university together. Her grades weren’t the best in high school, so she struggled getting into the same university that I was going to. She had to take these extra classes over breaks in order to get in. But she managed it because she didn’t want to leave me. Now, I just need to know. Do you think she loves me?”

“Yann, I-”

“You don’t have to answer, Lucas. I just needed you to hear the facts from an outside view. Because, man, I have never seen a connection like you and Eliott have. It would be a waste of a relationship, dude.”

Lucas didn’t even realize they were stopped until he looked outside and realized the sidewalk wasn’t moving. He unbuckles his seatbelt and spares his friend one last glance. “Even if I agree with you, Eliott might not.” he mumbles before jumping out of the car.

Lucas ends up spending the majority of his afternoon lounging around the pollock with Manon since Mika had to take a last-minute shift for work. They made cookies, they as in Manon made cookies because Lucas can’t cook for shit, and watched some romance Netflix movies Eliott would deem cringe-worthy. It was nice to let his mind and body relax for once. His whole body felt like lead as they began their third movie of the night. He honestly thought that if he didn’t get up soon he would become one with the couch.

That’s when his phone lit up with a call notification.

“Lucas?” It’s Eliott.

“Hey, Eliott, what’s up?”

“Nothing really. I just realized that we never got our coffee together today.”

Right, it was Sunday. They usually met up at the cafe near the campus for coffee in the morning before Eliott would have to go to his studio art class. Lucas will never know why Eliott decided to schedule a class on a Sunday of all days. Truly a mystery.

“Shoot, you’re right. Sorry-”

“You don’t have to apologize, I forgot too,” Eliott’s voice gets drowned out by a vehicle on the other line, but Lucas can still make out what he’s saying.

“Are you just leaving class?” Lucas asks and is already slipping his shoes back on.

“Yeah, it got out super late today. One of our models fainted, and-and it was just this whole thing-”

“Stay there, I’m coming to you.”

There’s a pause, “but it’s nearly six, why would we get coffee now?”

“We don’t have to get coffee, you know. We could get like a pastry or something.”

“Hm, I suppose. You never get real coffee anyways.”

“Hey! A frappuccino is a coffee, shut up.”

Eliott’s laugh fills the phone, and Lucas unconsciously moves his ear closer, trying to absorb the sound, “okay, okay. I’ll wait in the cafe. See you in ten, love you.”

“Bye, love you too.”

Lucas gets up from the couch with a huff. When he looks over his shoulder to tell Manon where he’s going she has a look in her eyes. A look that says “I know it’s painful, being in love with someone you can’t have.” She nods at him before turning back towards the TV, and then Lucas is on his way towards the bus stop.

When he spots Eliott he finds him hidden away in the corner of the cafe. He’s hunched over on himself, looking at something on his phone. Lucas scans the area. His eyes land on a table of girls, whispering and looking between themselves and Eliott. Of course they have their eyes on him. Everyone does.

“Hey,” Lucas says before he reaches the table. He’s a good ten feet away when Eliott’s head snaps up towards him.

His whole face cracks into a smile and then he’s rushing out of his chair and catapulting himself towards Lucas, wrapping his arms around his friend. He lets out a squeal before saying, “I ordered your drink for you, by the way.”

And it’s stuff like that. It’s Eliott ordering his drink, or paying for his dinner, or pressing a hand to the small of his back when he can sense Lucas is uncomfortable, or giving Lucas a smile that is reserved just for them. It’s that stuff that makes falling in love with Eliott just that much more painful. Because Lucas knows Eliott can never be fully his.

“Thanks,” Lucas says and takes a seat across from Eliott.

“So how was last night?”

Lucas laughs; Eliott always asks him about the details, wanting to know the grueling details, “he was really rough to be honest. My hips are still in pain.”

Eliott cringes but bubbles of laughter burst through, “poor baby. Do I need to kiss it better?”

Lucas rolls his eyes, “no, idiot, you don’t have to kiss it better. I just wish I hadn’t gone home with that douche bag.”

“Me too.”

“Yeah, well,” Lucas mumbles into his cup before taking an extended sip, “can’t reverse time now, can we.”

“Speaking of reversing time…” the break in Eliott’s voice catches Lucas’s attention. “I may need your help with something.”

“Go on…”

“Well...you know Christmas is coming up…” Eliott adds warily, looking up at Lucas through his lashes. “And you also know my parents who...needless to say have been pushy about my personal life ever since I broke up with Lucille.”

Lucas nods, “of course.”

“Well, I maybe kinda sorta mentioned that we were dating to my mom and dad to get them off my back and now I need you to come with me on my family’s skiing trip for Christmas,” Eliott blurts out so fast that Lucas barely registers all that he’s being told.

Lucas clears his throat and lets the news settle on the table, “so...we have to-to fake date..?”

“Ye-es.”

Lucas takes a deep breath in, “um, no.”

“Lucas,  please , I really need your help.”

“I’m sorry, Eliott, I am. But I don’t want to lie to your parents about us dating, that’s not right.”

“We’d only be lying to them for like a week, and then we can fake-break-up and we can go back to normal,” Lucas nearly winces at the word ‘normal,’ “I know I’m asking a lot. I do. But I’m asking for your help as your best friend. I couldn’t turn to Idriss or, for god sake, Basile for help with this. Besides, my parents adore you, Lucas.”

Lucas looks down into his coffee. He’s asking for help as Lucas’s best friend, because that’s all they ever will be. They’re friends, nothing more. No matter how many times they stare at each other for a little too long, or hug and cuddle in private and public settings, no matter how many coffee-dates they go on, they will only ever be friends. And going away for a week with Eliott, acting like his  boy friend in front of his whole family, Lucas isn’t sure if he can handle that. If his heart can handle that. If Lucas goes, Eliott will be more cuddly with him, more loving, more caring than ever to try and make their relationship seem realistic. Eliott, being the romantic he is, will probably pepper Lucas with kisses and hugs… it would be way too domestic for Lucas to handle. If he goes, he knows how it will end. He will end up getting his heart crushed when they pack their bags and travel back to their side of France. Because when they get back to reality, they would no longer be Lucas and Eliott: loving boyfriends, but rather Lucas and Eliott: best friends.

“I’m sorry, Eliott, but no. I can’t,” Lucas says after what could have been an eternity of silence, he really isn’t sure how long he was gazing into his coffee.

“Why. Why can’t you?” Eliott’s voice is laced with venom when he speaks.

“Because, Eliott, I already told you. It’s not right to lie about something like this.”

“God, Lucas, it would hardly be a lie! We already act like a couple most of the time anyways!” there must have been something that flickered across Lucas’s face because Eliott then follows up with, “don’t look at me like that. You know it’s true. I’m not-” Eliott bites his lip, “whatever, forget it. I’ll just give them some bullshit excuse.”

When Eliott starts to gather his things and stands from his seat Lucas panics. He grabs Eliott’s arm, pulling him back, “Eliott, wait. Stay, please.”

There’s something in Eliott’s expression that looks like he’s battling with himself before he eventually huffs a sigh and sits back down.

“Okay,” Lucas nearly whispers. “Okay what?”

“Okay, I’ll do it. But, Eliott, we need to talk about this. Thoroughly. I know your family so I know that they will ask us a lot of questions. So,” Lucas takes a deep breath in, “we should probably order some food.”

Eliott’s face cracks into a smile.

::

After three hours, yes. Three. Hours. They finally had their entire backstory and rules laid out, “okay,” Lucas says, crumbs falling from his mouth as he takes a bite from his sandwich, “so. Let’s go over what we have. Ready, pretend I’m your mom.”

Eliott chuckles, “if I think of you as my mom I don’t think we would be fake dating.”

Lucas reaches over and smacks Eliott on the head before he has a chance to protect himself, “focus! Okay, so, first question. What was your and Lucas’s first date? How did you transition from friends to boyfriends? Was it difficult?”

“It wasn’t difficult at all. We’ve always been close, and being friends for such a long time actually helped us in the beginning I think. Our first date was actually really chill. I don’t think either of us really realized it was our first date at the time because we’ve done it so many times before. We basically just chilled at my apartment. We turned on a movie. Lucas made some popcorn because he will never let me near the stove after giving him food poisoning that one time. We cuddled for a while, basically both falling asleep. It eventually got so late that the buses stopped running. I offered for him to spend the night, but he said it would be best if he went home. I walked him home and when we got to his apartment we lingered outside. We talked about what we are, what we wanted to be. I ended up giving him a quick goodnight kiss, and then I went home.”

“Good. Have you guys said I love you yet?”

“Not as a couple officially, but we have always said ‘I love you’ to each other.”

“Does Lucas trust you? Do you trust Lucas?”

“Lucas’s always trusted me, I think that’s why he was always such a great friend, and an even better partner. With Lucille, I never thought that she really understood me as an individual, but only as a boyfriend. Whereas with Lucas, I actually feel like myself when I’m with him. I don’t really have to worry about feeling uncomfortable with him.”

“Alright, good,” Lucas says, “now, let’s go over our rules. So, 1) no lip-kisses, 2) no sleeping on the same bed. We can sleep in the same room, one of us will just sleep on the floor. And last, but not least, 3) no catching feelings,” he underlines the last one on the napkin he’d written them on. More for himself than for Eliott.

“Sounds good,” Eliott beams down at him, “thank you again, Lucas, you’re saving my ass.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lucas laughs and Eliott chuckles, “I’ll just cash in the favor at some point. Maybe to help me hide a body or something.”

“Little hedgehog Lucas killed someone? No way. You’re too tiny!”

“Oh frick off, I’m not too tiny.”

Eliott laughs, “whatever you say, little hedgehog.”

As they gather their stuff and head out of the shop (finally, it feels like they’ve been there forever) Lucas finally asks, “by the way, when do you guys go on your skiing trip? Isn’t it a few weeks before Christmas?”

“Oh, right, it’s actually in five days. OH! Look at the time, gotta blast,” Eliott says before rushing across the street towards his apartment complex.

“Eliott Demaury get your ass back here! Eliott! Eliott, I swear!” Lucas yells after him until Eliott is no longer visible behind the building. 

::

The five days leading up to the trip is filled with stress, stress and more stress. Because of a certain Eliott Demaury only telling Lucas five days in advance, he has to make up shifts at work that he will be missing, cover two weeks of curriculum for University when he’ll be gone, and pack for a week away in Strasbourg. He also has to pack for a couple days of skiing, lucky him. Lucas has never been much of a skier. He always ends up eating it or nearly breaking something when his skis touch the snow. Eliott has always been really into snowboarding, and Lucas is sure that if they live closer to a mountain range Eliott would be up there every day.

On the day that they were to leave Lucas was last-minute packing (because he is a pro at doing everything at the last minute.) He actually finishes just in time because as soon as he zips his suitcase he gets a call from Eliott saying he is downstairs.

Lucas says his goodbyes to Manon and Mika before hobbling down the stairs with his two duffles and packed suitcase. When he walks out the door he’s met with a smiling Eliott and immediately runs up and gives him a hug.

“Hey, buddy,” Lucas laughs, “you’re awfully happy.”

Eliott pulls away just far enough to take a duffle bag and the suitcase from Lucas, “of course! I get to spend a week away with you in Strasbourg of all places! It’s literally the Noel capital of the world!”

Lucas laughs and shakes his head in disbelief as Eliott practically skips over to his car, “I can’t believe you have this much energy at six in the morning.”

“I only have this much energy for you, baby,” Eliott says with a wink.

Lucas laughs, “ookay, let’s put that away. Way too early for that.”

As soon as they are on the road Lucas passes out. He fades in and out of consciousness from time to time, mainly to Eliott singing along to horrid dubstep or Eliott was playing something from Netflix on his phone.

When he finally awakes fully, eyes still a little weighed-down from sleep, Eliott is humming along to songs on the radio and the highway around them isn’t familiar. Lucas swallows before croaking out, with his dry throat, “where are we?”

“Oh, you’re awake!” Eliott says and looks over at Lucas for a brief second before returning his eyes to the road, “we’re actually only an hour away. You’ve been sleeping like a log.”

“Oh, gosh, Eliott. I’m sorry, I said we could take turns driving. Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“You were sleeping so peacefully. I didn’t want to wake you. Plus, you needed to catch up on sleep. You’ve been pushing yourself these past five days to prepare everything for this last minute trip. Letting you sleep is the least I could do,” Eliott says and squeezes Lucas’s hand-Wait.

It’s only then that Lucas realizes his hand is resting in Eliott’s next to the gear shift. Eliott’s thumb brushes small, slow circles on the back of Lucas’s hand. The motion nearly lulling Lucas back to sleep. When Eliott notices Lucas’s staring he says, “you were moving in your sleep a lot and hit me in the arm a couple times. I thought it was better I hold your hand than for you to physically abuse me,” he laughs.

Lucas laughs too and gives a tiny squeeze to Eliott’s hand, “sorry about that. I sometimes sleep talk too.”

“Oh, you did,” Eliott reassures, “it was gibberish really. Couldn’t make out anything you were saying.”

Lucas laughs again, the sound hurting his dry throat, “sorry about that too, then. So, what have you been up to while I’ve been passed out?”

“Listening to music a lot, dubstep of course,” Lucas rolls his eyes, “I’ve also been going through everything. Just making sure we covered all bases.”

“It’ll be fine, Eliott.”

“No, I know. I guess I’m more excited than anything.”

“Oh, why?”

“Well, I mean I never thought I would be bringing Lucas Lallemant anywhere as my boyfriend. The year back when I was in Terminale L and you were in Terminale S I had the fattest crush on you, I’m not sure if you remember that. I was still with Lucille at that time though, and I didn’t really want to take a chance and have it blow up in my face.”

Lucas feels like his throat is closing. This is too much to process. Eliott has a crush on him. Well, no. He HAD a crush on him. Which means, he doesn’t feel that way anymore. Which means, Lucas is stuck in an unrequited love and is acting as the guy’s boyfriend. A guy who he has no chance with. But once did. But he had no idea. He missed his chance.

“Fuck, I think I’m going to be sick. Pull over. Pull over.”

Eliott merges off the highway and Lucas doesn’t even wait for the car to come to a complete stop before he’s hopping out of the car and kneeling in the grass. He coughs for a good few minutes before he realizes he isn’t really going to be sick, his stomach just feels like it’s being tossed and thrown around inside him.

“Lucas, Lucas, are you okay? Do you need to go to a Hospital?” Eliott asks frantically as he rubs soothing circles on Lucas’s back.

“I’m okay. Sorry. I think I just got a little carsick for a sec. I’m okay, thanks.”

“Are you sure? Because, Lucas, we don’t have to go if you aren’t feeling well. We can go back home.”

“No, Eliott, don’t be ridiculous. I think I just need something to eat. Is there anything close to here?” Lucas says and rubs his face.

“Lucas, look at me.”

Lucas turns to him without a second thought. Eliott takes his head in his hands, and continues to inspect him, “you look really pale, and you’re lips are chapped. I think you need some water. Let’s get back in the car and I can look up some place for us to stop.”

“Thanks, Eliott...sorry again.”

“Don’t apologize, Lucas, sorry you don’t feel well,” he places a soft kiss to Lucas’s forehead, “do you want help getting in the car?”

“I almost puked Eliott, I’m not dying.”

Eliott huffs an aggravated sigh, “okay, princess, whatever you say.”

::

So, they make a slight detour to grab Lucas some water. Eliott calls his parents. Then they are back on the road. The hour goes by a lot faster than Lucas would have liked, as he still wanted to mentally prepare himself, but before he knows it they are pulling up to Eliott’s parents cottage.

“Ready, baby?” Eliott asks with a wink.

Lucas breathes in deeply, “as ready as I’ll ever be.”

“You’re gonna do great.” He kisses the back of Lucas’s hand, quick and soft, “c’mon let’s go meet the family.”

“Eliott Demaury?! Is that you?!” a woman’s shrill voice is heard coming from the front door.

Eliott smiles, “that’s our cue,” he steps out of the car with a flourish, “hi, mama! It’s your favorite son!”

Lucas calms his nerves before opening his car door as well, and there is an audible gasp from mama Demaury as Lucas steps out of the car, “Lucas! It’s been so long, dear! We have so much to catch up on. Why don’t you two gather your bags and I’ll get some hot chocolate going for us. Your room is on the second floor, take a right and it’s all the way at the end of the hall,” without a second thought she closes the door.

“Well,” Eliott laughs, “that’s mama for you. Let’s get our bags. Also, it would probably look good if we walk up to the house holding hands. What do you think?”

Lucas nods, “that’s fair. Though I don’t know if I can carry everything AND hold your hand.”

Eliott grins, “I’ll help you carry your bags, what else are boyfriends for?”

Lucas’s stomach leaps at Eliott’s words, but he quickly silences the glimpse of hope he feels. Eliott ends up carrying one of Lucas’s duffle bags, along with his suitcase, and Lucas carries in his duffle bag and suitcase. As they walk up the pathway it feels almost natural to have the weight of Eliott’s hand in his. Eliott helps open the door, and Lucas isn’t entirely sure what he was expecting when he walked through the entryway, but it sure wasn’t a winter wonderland. The house looked like Christmas threw up in it. Everywhere they looked there was something Christmas or Santa Claus related, and it was almost horrific on the eyes. It was like the Demaury’s were trying to make a world record for largest collection of Christmas decorations.

“We’re inside!” Eliott yells as they walk further into the cottage. They make it all the way into the dining room before stumbling upon the family. There are five people sat around the table playing what seems to be a very rowdy game of Scrabble. There are two women sat opposite two men, who seem to be in a heated discussion about if they get a bonus or not, and at the head of the table is who Lucas can only guess is papa Demaury. He’s smoking a cigar, and something in his eyes light up when he sees Lucas and Eliott walk through the archway.

“You’re here!” papa Demaury exclaims, which gets the attention of the rest of the table. Lucas feels like he’s under a spotlight.

Suddenly everyone is clamoring to stand up and give them a hug. Eliott probably senses Lucas’s nerves because he gives Lucas’s hand a quick squeeze. Once everyone has gotten their turn for either a hug or a handshake, one of the girls says, “are you going to introduce us?” as her eyes flick between Lucas, Eliott, and their hands interlocked.

Eliott grins and bites his lip as he looks down at Lucas, “this is my boyfriend, Lucas.”

The girls squeal and the two guys give Eliott proud looks. “Lucas these are my sisters Emilie and Janine, these are their husbands, Thomas and Louis.”

“Pleasure to meet all of you,” Lucas says with a smile. 

“And of course you know papa,” Eliott adds.

Papa Demaury makes his way through the crowd of four to give Lucas his signature bone-crushing hug, “it’s been too long, Lucas. We miss you around here.”

“University has kept me busy this past year. But I suppose Eliott has kept me busier.”

Papa Demaury laughs, “that’s my boy. Well, we will let you two get settled in your room. Holler if you need anything. By the way we are staying in for dinner, pajamas mandatory,” he says with a wink.

“Alright, papa, we’ll be back down in a bit.”

As they make their way out of the room one of the sisters yells, “use protection!”

To which Eliott replies, “fuck off!”

Lucas flops on the bed when they reach the room, giving the loudest sigh of his life. “I’m already tired. Do you think they would care if we just slept through dinner.”

Eliott rolls his eyes as he tucks his suitcase in the closet, “all you think about is sleep, huh?”

“Well, duh.”

“I mean I’m not saying no to sleep, but also my mom is making her signature pot roast and I don’t know if we want to sleep through that.”

“Fair point,” Lucas says and props himself up on his forearms, “question: do we actually have to wear pajamas to dinner? Cause I don’t know if I packed a pajama shirt…”

Eliott sighs, “of course you didn’t. This dinner is actually a tradition and we have to wear our cheesiest Christmas pajamas. I brought an extra pair cause I figured you probably didn’t have any,” he says and tosses Lucas the pants and shirt.

“Awe, thanks, boyfriend,” he says back in a mocking tone.

“Hey, you call me your boyfriend proudly, Lallemant.”

“Okay,  boyfriend ,” Lucas teases as he goes to walk past Eliott to go use the bathroom. He did not, however, expect to the picked up and flipped over Eliott’s shoulder and tossed back onto the bed before tickled out of his mind. “Stop! Stop! Eliott-” Lucas is practically wheezing by the time Eliott actually let’s him breathe, “you asshole!” Lucas mumbles before flipping over so he has Eliott pinned to the bed. Eliott’s laugh when Lucas tickles him is like a song to his ears. It’s beautiful, and harmonic, and-and the only thing Lucas wants to do right now is lean down and capture Eliott’s lips in his.

As Eliott’s laughter dies down his hands come up to rest on Lucas’s waist, massaging his side. One hand leaves to comb a piece of Lucas’s hair from his face before cupping the side of Lucas’s face. “Hi,” Lucas says dumbly.

When Eliott responds he almost sounds breathless, “hi,” and then a moment later he adds, “fuck, you’re so beautiful.”

Lucas feels like his heart is going to burst from his chest. He’s about to stop himself from leaning in before he realizes that Eliott is already coming in closer. It feels like they are breathing the same air when there’s a knock at the door. “Eliott, stop having s-e-x and get your butt out here! Dinner’s on the table.” That must be one of the sisters again.

Eliott groans, “we aren’t having s- yeah, okay we’ll be out in a sec,” he says and lets his head flop back down on the bed before rolling his eyes, which makes Lucas laugh.

“I should probably go get changed,” Lucas says when Eliott’s hands stay on his hips. He makes a move to leave, but Eliott’s grip tightens, “Elliot, I gotta change.”

“I’m not stopping you,” he says with faux innocence.

“Your hands say otherwise.” When Eliott just sends him a ‘i-dont-know-what-you’re-talking-about’ look Lucas huffs a, “fine,” before he’s pulling off his shirt and tossing it across the room. And he swears for a second he feels Eliott’s breath catch. Lucas then pulls the Christmas pajama shirt over his head. “You also have to get changed, mister,” Lucas says bops the end of Eliott’s nose. He feels Eliott’s hold loosen by just a bit and he takes the opportunity to wrench himself free.

Afterwards they both finish changing (the pajamas given to Lucas from Eliott are WAY too big, but it’s all he has so he goes with it) and make their way downstairs for dinner. Dinner goes by pretty well. Thankfully they don’t get interrogated in front of the whole family, but Lucas can feel it coming for sure. Lucas can barely keep up with the discussion at the table because Eliott decided it was a good idea to keep his hand resting on Lucas’s thigh, giving him a reassuring squeeze every now and then. All it did was completely distract Lucas from any conversation and made him instead focus on trying not to grow a boner in front of the whole family. 

After plates grew empty, stomachs getting full, mama Demaury and one of the sisters, Lucas thinks her name is Emelie, Lucas gets up as well. “Let me help you with cleanup,” he offers and takes a few plates from mama Demaury’s arms.

She gives him a grateful smile, “thanks, dear, so kind of you.”

As they walk out of the room and towards the kitchen Lucas gives one last look over his shoulder and immediately locks eyes with Eliott. He gives Lucas a soft smile. Then, being the stupid romantic he is, blows a kiss across the room. No one else noticed it, it was such a minute action, so Lucas couldn’t help but wonder why he did it in the first place if no one except Lucas would notice him doing it.

“Lucas, honey, if you could just put the top back on the roast and place it in the fridge that would be very helpful,” mama Demaury says once Lucas steps foot in the kitchen.

“Of course,” he says and walks over to the roast, picking it up with both hands and carrying it over to the fridge, “your cooking was amazing as ever mama Demaury. I wish I had more room to eat.”

Mama Demaury laughs, “oh, sweetie, you don’t have to win me over with any compliments. I already love you and Eliott being together.”

Lucas nearly drops the roast as he places it in the fridge, “you do?”

“Of course! I thought it was just a matter of time before you two got together. The way you two look at each other, I have always known you love him, and that he, of course, loves you. Even just your friendship was priceless, and now that it’s blossomed into a relationship, well, I simply couldn’t be happier for you two.”

Lucas didn’t even know how to respond. He felt breathless and like he could combust from happiness and guilt all at once. So, he went with his heart, “I can’t tell you how much that means to me, mama Demaury. Eliott has always been such an important person throughout my life, and I can’t believe my luck that Eliott loves me or even wants me in his life. Your son is truly someone special, and I’m just glad he’s allowing me to stay by his side-” Lucas jumps when arms wrap around his waist and pull him back towards a warm chest. Emilie laughs at Lucas’s reaction before turning back to her task at hand.

Lucas nearly melts when Eliott gruff voice says softly in his ear, “you’ve been talking about me?”

Lucas hums and lets his head roll back on Eliott’s shoulder. He closes his eyes and lets himself bask in the domesticity of the moment, if even for just a second, “hm, all good things I can assure you.”

Eliott laughs, “I’m not sure I trust this little devil. Has he been saying good things, mama?”

Mama Demaury sends them a beaming smile, “I’m not sure… He has a pretty sharp tongue…”

Lucas’s eyes fly open, and he moves to take a step forward to defend himself, but Eliott’s hold on this waist tightens when he tries to move away, “I do not! I am an absolute angel I will have you all know.”

Emilie scoffs, “whatever you say.”

“I came out for a good time and I am honestly feeling so attacked right now.”

Eliott laughs and nuzzles his face into the crook of Lucas’s neck before turning back to his mom, “I think Lucas and I are going to go grab our coats before we head outside for papa’s mulled wine and dessert.”

“Oh, we are?” Lucas asks with a raise of his eyebrows.

Eliott hums and squeezes Lucas just a little tighter, “yup.”

With that they make their way out of the kitchen, but not before Emilie calls after them, “use protection!”

Eliott scoffs and yells back, “are you going to say that every time we walk out of a room?” Emilie’s laughter follows them all the way back to their room.

The rest of the evening goes by like a blur. When they meet the family outside (not actually outside, because the Demaurys have a covered porch in their backyard) Eliott and Lucas reserve a chair for them to cuddle. When Eliott pulls Lucas onto his lap, and nuzzles his face into Lucas’s neck, Lucas has to mentally tell himself that this is all  fake  . When Eliott presses a soft kiss to Lucas’s cheek, Lucas tells himself it’s  fake.  When Lucas jokes with Eliott’s family, and Eliott gives him a proud smile, telling him ‘I’m so proud that my boyfriend gets along with my family,’ Lucas tells himself it’s all  fake . When Lucas practically falls asleep on Eliott’s shoulder, and Eliott excuses them to go put Lucas to bed, Lucas is too tired to tell himself that it’s fake. So in those couple minutes that it takes for Eliott to walk to their room, Lucas lets himself believe. Let’s himself snuggle in closer and bask in the feeling of Eliott’s arms carrying him to their bedroom.

After he’s tucked into bed, there are a couple moments of eerie silence before Eliott climbs in beside him. Lucas is too tired to register that sharing a bed is against one of their rules. Instead, he shifts closer and buries his face into Eliott’s chest.

Eliott laughs softly before running a hand through Lucas’s hair and moving closer as well, “got a little tired there, baby?”

Lucas nods slowly and hums in agreement.

“Goodnight, Lu.”

[savannahmoonprism-blog]

Every victory counts

I have my own myriad experiences with the food wound, as it has been redefined for me by a fantastic new friend. This new friends helps women transform themselves by identifying and inquiry around body image and what it creates through one’s self perception. This places stored trauma and stress into the equation of one’s relationship with food. Identifying it as a wound rather than a disorder feels so much more truthful to me and I am grateful for this distinction. It is something that effects us all in some way. Our global food system has had harmful effects on the environment and us. It also creates an opportunity to take back our power in nourishing ourselves through a process of discovery and transformation. We all have varying degrees of disconnect with the food we eat. Many of us rely on stores and farmers to provide our food. I started out life on formula and moved on quickly into hard sugars and fake foods that took a toll on my baby body. Because of this I am called to address malnourishment within and without. It won’t be a forever thing, I’ll get there, but it’s work. Growing up my mom openly struggled with the numbers on the scale. I remember she always compared her body to Jennifer Aniston’s, her chosen form of torture. She claimed they were the same height and if she could just reach her weight she saw her ideal appearance. Our house was home to weekly magazines like People that subliminally placed distant people, their bodies, and life dramas as a priority in the collective consciousness of our family. It was a huge silent strain. I felt the shame and frustration in my mother’s body image and felt helpless. While I have always been slender I still managed to feel pudgy at potent growth intervals when my body was in flux. As early as 4th grade I became hyper aware of my appearance, especially my core area. I trained myself to suck in my belly at every turn. I wanted my tight shirts to show a completely flat belly. I also remember being as young as 13 and attempting to devote my summer to exercise, weight loss and the perfect number weight. These memories make me cringe. I could never really live up to my own harsh demands though. A part of me never really believed in the hype of attaining something through abusive measures. In high school I used energy drinks, smoking cigarettes and just not eating to cope with my food wound and body shame.

Once I graduated high school and left my family’s nest I began to fold under the unreal expectations I held. Being poor and ignorant to true nourishment I fed myself pancakes and veggie burgers. I was depressed, weak, and tired. In that time I watched a documentary of the food system in America and became vegetarian which lasted about 4 years. It was a changing point in my connection to eating and I began to nurture the choices I made at every meal with what new information I had received in the film.

I want to take a moment to celebrate the fact that it has been a few months since I have thought mean things about my body’s appearance. After many years of battling my image and then working many years on healing I have noticed some solid progress. I have been celebrating every bit of my shape. I love my curves, the fat that fuels me, the muscles and limbs that work in miraculous ways… With this recognition I am excited to move forward on the journey and begin bringing super softness into the inner dry parts as I have been lovingly counseled on this last weekend. Transformation is my highest pleasure. Self care is so life affirming!!!

For me the illumination of my self love and body care and nakedness in my truth for my community to see nourishes me. I decide what is good for my body. I was born with an incredible sight and spent years cultivating my intuition. I am claiming liberation as I carve out it’s path with a loving heart. It also feels naughty in a totally innocent way to share a nude photo online so that makes it all the more fun I pray it offers a divine spark to reflect to you the spaces where you can give yourself more tenderness. There is light and dark to this incarnation.

Now it more centered around listening to my body. I eat meat. There isn’t really anything other than hard sugars that I completely avoid. I take my approach to food day by day.

TO read more about my journey with the food wound and the scars I have had to face many times to come this far and what I am aiming for now, check out my blog piece. Link in bio.

[guardianssystem]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT'S SO MUCH WORSE THAN THAT

We'd personally like to add a bit of context to this, as someone who's known the system who made that post IRL for about 8 years now and blocked them this morning for this and worse. (But please don't harass them, it's not worth it.) Note, we are a diagnosed traumagenic DID system.

Found out they'd been lying to us for over a year, telling us they support/are neutral on endos. We'd stopped talking to them about 2 years ago because they and their girlfriend told us that defending endogenic systems was like fighting over a toy, as well as them generally insulting parts of our identity. They compared somebody's identity to a toy. Then a couple months after that, they reached out to us with "Hey can you tell me more about endogenic systems, I'd like to support them"

So of course we explained endos to them, gave them the medical research we had, and they told us they supported endos. Didn't talk a lot.

Few months later, they took to messaging us a lot more, when the topic of endos came up again they said they were neutral but didn't mind them. They told us they'd read what we'd sent them when we sent it again, and we said that we were happy to answer any questions about it.

Cut to recently, after they'd repeatedly been stalking us, been friends with someone who'd tried to manipulate and abuse us and our partner @theharbingerofxhaos , been friends with our brother who has sexually abused multiple transmasc minors in our community (we're transmasc), told us they liked us/loved us/had a crush on us, repeatedly broken boundaries we'd set, lied about people they were friends with, asked us out on valentines day when they have a girlfriend, we're engaged, and we'd asked them not to, alongside a bunch of other fucking weird stuff, we stopped talking to them and restricted their access on our accounts.

We did tell them something, though - that if the topic of endos came up on their TikTok account, which is what they're referencing here, they should delete the comment or just not address it, because of how horrible TikTok is. They agreed that's what they would do.

Now this morning, after we'd restricted them, they sent us a message saying they'd had a comment about endos, so we checked their TikTok profile to see if they'd responded.

Yeah, they had.

One thing to note, the previous video was them saying Fake Disorder Cringe and similar were horrible subreddits and awful and shitty and so on and only ever caused harm. That screenshot is a comment on their video about the subreddits.

Now in the video about endos they made, they had gone against everything we had told them and sent them, knowingly ignored everything we'd ever told them, and while only referencing disordered systems, claimed endos were just systems that didn't remember their trauma. Despite us already having told them, yknow, many endogenic systems know they have trauma and know they weren't formed from it, and that plurality isn't just disordered. They invalidated endogenic systems, and said they didn't exist.

When we asked them about it? They told us they hadn't read anything we sent, they didn't understand what we were talking about, and that they'd done their own research by reading a book on "dissociative disorders and parts". They'd said in a comment that they didn't support endos because there were no "medical books" on endos, and told us directly that unless they read a physical hard copy of a book about endos, they didn't exist. Then when we pointed out they'd been lying to us about being neutral, they claimed they were still neutral, despite saying endogenic systems don't exist, because they hadn't directly stated endogenic systems don't exist, despite doing exactly that.

Note here, we've had the exact same thing happen to us with an ex a few years ago, who repeatedly lied to us about being endo-supportive and caused us a severe amount of trauma. The poster knew this, and still lied anyway.

They lied, and kept denying that they lied, as well as ignoring whatever we tried to tell them, because they were so convinced they hadn't lied to us. Eventually, we gave up. They'd done it multiple times. They'd broken boundaries. They'd been transphobic before, while being trans, and ignored it when we pointed it out. They'd invalidated other traumagenic systems, invalidated trauma, repeatedly and knowingly ignored us, and insulted us over the years. They'd been pretty anti-recovery and offensive. So we blocked them, and thought it was over until this popped up on our feed. And from what we can tell, that post was made before our conversation. Not to mention, they told us they didn't have a Reddit account.

So yeah we're really fucking glad we saw this because we feel way less shit about blocking them now. Please, nobody harass them. It's not worth it. They've been a piece of shit for years now, and no matter what we've done, they haven't changed. They are a medically recognised traumagenic DID system, and are in the process of a diagnosis. We introduced them to the concept of a system years ago, when we'd just found out, and helped them figure out they were one.

(Happy to provide receipts in DMs to anyone who really wants them, not gonna post private info publicly tho)

TLDR; the poster has been a fucking awful person for a while

Thanks Sophie, lol

-Marcus

(Post addition from Xhaos)

We've had a lot of distrust of this person even before we met, since he started talking to Guardians again, he would flirt with us behind our back, attempted to date Guardians multiple times and has been the cause of repeated mental breakdowns on both sides. We had a feeling for awhile they were anti endo still, but they attempted to date him (with us and behind our back) repeatedly just because they have a life they enjoy trauma dumping onto Guardians. They've been more shitty and creepy than he even remembers right now due to stress and dissociation. They have also caused a plethora of headmates to go dormant, etc. for both us and Guardians. They've utterly attempted to ruin our lives, so we are quite glad things finally came into the light.

-Moira (Supervised by Ashe, so we do not brag about being right too much.)

Anti-endo posts to r/systemscringe. Face gets eaten by leopards.

Their reply was removed. Luckily, you can still find it on their profile.

Remember, sharing you have a disorder is against the rules of the r/systemscringe subreddit.

(u/Bugzxvi was also the author of this misinformation post about endogenic systems on r/DIDcringe a few weeks ago.)

I really don't know what OP expected. 🤷‍♀️

I don't support fakeclaiming, but it's also really hard to feel an ounce of sympathy when they're engaging with the hate.

So here's your daily reminder: r/systemscringe is a vile ableist hatesub. They do not support systems. Even if you think that you're "one of the good ones," they are not safe for you. Don't expect to find acceptance from these people.

[navarronavarro44-blog]

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