#becoming disabled is a whole Thing

[iamamythologicalcreature]

2024 Round-Up and Review

2024, aka The Year I Discovered I Love Drawing Baz With Long Hair.

But also.

Honestly?

(Yeah, I'm going to be honest. Yeah, it's going to be a long post. Buuuut it's my blog, so here we go!)

This past year was rough. Really rough. In many ways as difficult as 2020, and in some ways, even harder than that. I lost my specialized medical care after 2023, and my health tanked in 2024. Medication changes, chronic illness/pain, and the hardest thing of all was... this idea I seemed to have that if I could just fake it enough, I could make it. Like I could deny my disability into non-existence. Pretend it away.

Instead, I ended up pushing myself past the breaking point, with the worst possible timing ever.

And THEN (when I desperately needed to stop and rest), I packed up my life and moved across a continent. (I hadn't moved since college. So I thought I'd move and it'd be done. That was wrong. Ahem. I'm still moving in...)

But the GOOD that happened last year came in the form of friendship. That's not just a line. My friends were my lifeline. To those friends who stuck it out with me even when things were far from easy, thank you. You are the most incredible people I know, and your friendship has given me reasons and opportunities to feel joy and hope where I might not otherwise have done.

Okay. So. The ROUND-UP is... *drum roll*... Under the cut!

At first I was a bit bummed to see I'd only finished 9 pieces of art during the entire year. But since I am being honest... I know I did my best, and so clearly the best I could do last year was nine pieces of art. So many of those pieces were attached to amazing projects, though! I got to do several collaborations with some truly amazing human beings, and I also got to run my very first fest for the fandom! So I'm calling it good.

Now, finally, the art links:

(I won't be including works in progress on this list, as I still hope to finish them at some point XD)

January: Oh my God, January. I didn't finish anything in January, but I worked on a lot.

February:

Tis better to give than to receive - This was my contribution to Erotic Grope Fest, and it was my first time doing anything NSFW. It's pretty tame, all things considered, but I think it still fit the mission. Also ended up posting a high-res version of this on AO3. Because. I mean. Come on. XD

March:

Three lost boys (found) - I started out as a beta reader for @mooncello's inspired take on Neverland, but by the time I received chapter 2 I was very nearly begging to be able to illustrate it. I'd had this particular image in my mind after reading the matching scene in chapter one, but had tried to suppress the inspiration. Silly me. I'm so glad I gave in. This is a favorite of mine.

April:

Keeping Neverland - (Technically posted on Tumblr in May, but on AO3 in April, so...) Illustrating @mooncello's writing again, and this one was a challenge! But one I wholeheartedly embraced. I wanted to echo Baz's journey as an artist with my illustrations, so where I used pencil sketching for the chapter one illustration, I went for a finished charcoal drawing, here. Digital charcoal, it turns out, can be just as difficult as the real deal. Slightly less messy, though. (I'm very proud of this finished piece.) Also where I continued my exploration of Baz's long hair. XD

May:

A rough sketch for a rough night - It feels a little off to be posting this sketch in my art round-up, considering the emotional inspiration, but truth be told I ended up liking this sketch quite a lot. I also learned a couple things, from both the events of that night (not my finest moment) and the drawing of the sketch (hey putting my feelings into art is a good idea). So I think ultimately this little sketch deserves to be included on this list.

June:

Teenage Dream - I posted this on Tumblr in June, for my birthday, but I actually did the art at the beginning of the year for the Valentine's Day exchange on the Carry On server. I rarely finish anything to this degree, and am immensely proud of it. That said, I ended up using it for so many things last year, I'd be okay to not look at it again for awhile. (I called it "Teenage Dream" because it made me think of a daydream Baz might have had as a teenager - now made real with Simon by his side. Cause I'm a sucker for their romance >.> )

Illustration from The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch - So I'm not sure how I got lucky enough to earn a special preview of @monbons's story, but I knew I couldn't read it in pieces. So she let me read the whole thing. It was very cool. I read it all at once I think? And when I was done I crashed Monica's DMs to yell at her about it. But then I drew this picture. (While I was chatting with her, even, and casually asking her about cherry blossoms so I could draw them the way she imagined them. It was very fun.) Now we're friends. XD (Check out the fic - now posted in entirety!)

July: Uh. Migraines. Just migraines. I had to pull back from the fandom a lot, and stopped participating in a lot of online activities. Boo.

August: Sketched concepts for CORB, and packed.

September: I moved over 4000 miles.

October: Everything I worked on in October ended up debuting in...

November:

Carry On Through the Ages! Okay, as stressed and sick as I was, I have no regrets about taking on COTTA. It was AMAZING. So much wonderful content! It was SO GOOD to contribute to the fandom, and to do that with history geeking? Dream come true. I also dipped into my previous area of expertise (picture manipulation) and did some cursed paintings to promote it. Mona Baz, Stormchaser Gothic, Mademoiselle Wellbelove, and Iconic Icon Simon.

A Prophesied Rivalry - Another dream come true was collaborating with @monbons for COTTA! I loved talking ideas with her, and she was so supportive when I hit road blocks, too. I love Ancient Egyptian art, and this was as much a love letter to that ancient art style as it was to my beloved Snowbaz. (I did a ridiculous amount of research to do this piece.) (And now I have Egyptian Baz and Simon in my new apartment. Extreme Bonus.)

Snow on Ice Illustration - Getting paired with @leithillustration for CORB was like winning the creative collaboration lottery. Not only did they grasp my concept from the get-go, but they've taken it in a creative and exciting direction. Also, we've become good friends, which is the very best possible outcome for a collaboration. (You should check out their story if you haven't already!)

(Snow-kitty also got very sick at the end of November, which halted a lot of my progress on some WIPs. It was scary for a bit, but I am so happy to say he has fully recovered.)

December:

Snowflake Exchange presents More Than a Footnote - I kind of love that I started the year illustrating one of @mooncello's stories, and ended it with an illustration from another! I was so excited to pull Heath's name from the proverbial hat for the exchange. I'd wanted to draw something from More Than a Footnote since the first time Heath told me about it. I completely love Dev and Niall at this point, so I hope to play with them some more in the future! (BTW Heath I think you're one of my muses hope that's okay XD)

SO. Yeah, the year was often a hard one, but a lot of good happened in spite of all the bad. The good was even more valuable for daring to happen in the midst of so much blah. (And boy howdy, did I get a lot of material to learn from.)

In 2025, I think I'm going to focus more on accepting my limits. Like, I can still work on improving my health and functionality, but I really need to try and determine when I need to stop. That has its own learning curve, but I have to start somewhere! I'm also working on vision therapy, which I'm doing on my own since I can't afford the out-of-pocket expense. Still... So far, so good. Fingers crossed!

Creatively, I think 2025 will be the year where I get to work on projects I started in 2023 and 2024, and I find that quite exciting because those are ideas I genuinely loved. I also hope to bring some other ideas I've had for a very long time to life. (Finally.) I hope, hope, hope! And hey, if I get to do more collabs? That would be awesome, too. (Carry On Through the Ages will be returning, as well!)

Thank you to these lovely people for tagging me in on this round-up, and for remembering me despite my frequent absence!

@emeryhall, @rimeswithpurple, @prettygoododds, @artsyunderstudy, @noblecorgi, @alexalexinii, @best--dress, @j-nipper-95, @roomwithanopenfire, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @imagineacoolusername, @mooncello, @whatevertheweather, @thewholelemon, @youarenevertooold, @monbons

And to everyone who is still tagging me on wipsday posts, other things, commented, any of that! Thank you. It means a lot to me. Hello's and How-Do's and general well-wishes to:

@drowninginships, @aristocratic-otter, @that-disabled-princess, @leithillustration, @bookish-bogwitch, @theimpossibledemon, @fiend-for-culture, @bazzybelle, @ic3-que3n, @blackberrysummerblog, @run-for-chamo-miles, @shrekgogurt, @confused-bi-queer, @hushed-chorus, @cutestkilla, @skeedelvee, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @wellbelesbian, @facewithoutheart, @ileadacharmedlife,, @raenestee, @supercutedinosaurs, @fatalfangirl, @palimpsessed, @martsonmars, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @theearlgreymage

And anyone else who actually read my extremely long post. XD

[meli-mouse]

Me reading witch hat atelier: i have GOT to get better at drawing long cloaks and capes and fabric

[fluffydice]

On the topic, I think Rise does a wonderful job of displaying the sensory needs of neurodiverse characters because they don't limit them to one extreme or the other; another reason why their portrayal is so wonderful.

Donnie probably shows the most examples of this range, for obvious reasons. He doesn't like unexpected stimuli—and that can be something as small as unexpected touch. He has a preference for his flavorless juice. His lab, from what I've been able to glean, appears to be lit mostly from the glow of his computer screens or his tech. Otherwise it's usually kept rather dark.

On the other hand, Donnie loves noise (as long as he's in control of it, of course). He blasts techno music until it's impossible to talk without shouting. He falls asleep to Shelldon's affirmations: also absolutely blaring.

As for Mikey, this one's a lot more speculative lolol. We see a lot of examples of him seeking out sensory throughout the series, the most memorable for me personally being when the boys are interrogating Warren Stone and he's just. Playing with absolutely everything on the playground, rapidly switching from one thing to the next. But for someone who loves runs around—and very much enjoys doing so—it's a bit surprising to me that he so willingly rides Raph's shell so much. I could see that being his safe space of sorts, for when things get too exciting and Mikey can feel it starting to overwhelm him. Just an area to take a breather.

It's wonderful to see both because it allows the characters to have sensory needs without it becoming a one-dimensional gag. It's no longer a trope, but rather an aspect of their identities. Yeah, Donnie not always reciprocating affection can be made funny. Yeah, Mikey not sitting still can be made funny. But the joke is never the character themselves because they focused on writing a complex, actual person; not the simplified, easily-digestible idea of a disability.

[mar-mots]

Okay I must be so annoying to people irl right now as well. All I can think of is Viktor half the time. He is just so *character* to me.

Genuinely transitions goals. He's the charafter that has me eating my walls, the character that has the most swag to me, the character that i've loved since day one.

Every day I say some form of "Save me twink jesus" and no one understands. If they did I fear I would simply perish.

[a-totally-reasonable-username]

I feel like someone in my life should maybe have realized that me and my sister are both disabled and that there could maybe be a connection between that and my father growing up in the vietnam war? Like i feel i should not have been the first to think of that :/

[swallowtail-ageha]

Thing about small italian villages is that the didnt really have roads up until the 70's which of course leads to a massive amount of cousin marriage and inbreeding and while yes my particular own has its issues regarding that (3 major families (one of whom i am part of!!! Yay!!!) that all of the other families are related to, everyone there has bone/joint problems or some sort of schizofrenia) the neighboring one is worse as in they have one major family and the rest of the inhabitants are ppl who immigrated to have a quiet life in the mountain slopes and that by itself could be an extremely interesting study bcs everyone there kinda looks the same-ish and has a frankly insane amount of people with developmental disabilities for a population this small

[variousqueerthings]

the thing is this is awful timing to get into a new show because i am teetering on the edge of incredibly busy (or rather, i ought to have begun being very busy last week and... i did not. the amount of tabs ive got open right now of things to do. scary. impossible to look at.)

on the other hand, becoming hyperfixated on a new thing to spend all my time meticulously documenting that is neither my masters course that's just started nor the job ive currently got for the near future that is quite tricky nor the job hunt im meant to be on to get a more longterm job nor indeed any of the social hobbies i've semi-committed myself to....

well, that is just very me actually......

[hauntedfalcon]

speaking as an able bodied person who thinks frequently about accessibility and wheelchair strategy on behalf of a wheelchair using acquaintance for whom I provide transportation, I do think that able bodied people should not opt to represent mobility aids in works of media unless they’re prepared to commit to portraying accommodations with some degree of verisimilitude. without that commitment they’re undoing whatever good they might do through representation

[philcoulsonismyhero]

Spent this last week tired and in pain and I want to draw about it, but unfortunately aforementioned condition of being tired and in pain makes drawing impossible, so I guess I just have to suffer instead. Why this.

[disabled-queer-culture-is]

Disabled culture is going to see a doctor about a new medical scare and being able to predict exactly what they’re going to suggest, because it’s the exact same thing every doctor tells you for everything

[unproduciblesmackdown]

spinning off of "winston being fantastically (literally fantastical (literally related to fantasy)) clairvoyant (he is also figuratively clear-sighted / figuratively preternaturally perceptive just like, in the show. which is where this all comes from. plus him calling himself cassandra, always seeing the future. he really has always / continued to be thusly) and taylor literally has a broadsword" type fun and games that are very loosey goosey b/c billions aus go spinning off into their own separate dimensions super easily when billions canon is so rooted in its specific Stage Settings of modern day US law n finance battles in the office, sidewalks, and eateries:

the thought of winston & tuk and winston gets to be a fairy. jokes, please. changelings are right there with the common theory of "was this to explain disabilities & go 'something could go Wrong and the baby's not a Person and get rid of that,' unlike nowadays where people do that but go 'b/c that baby's disabled'" and also one goes Thinking Emoji about how apparently New Mothers and New Brides were susceptible along with New Borns to become swapped out with a fairy and now something's wrong with them and get rid of that. had to be about Something given that people apparently did act on changeling lore and martin luther is taking a stance like yeah another thesis, it's important to kill them And okay to kill them b/c they don't even have a soul anyways. okay thanks martin luther....meanwhile also witchcraft and getting after anybody for that too. and fairies generally as Problems, the etymology going back to [fate], the range like "ooh hehe causing funny little inconveniences just because" to more so "yeah they could cause life-threatening illness for that" and "yeah they'll just kill you"....and i think fairy/fey as respective noun/adj re: being gay is of Unknown Origin, like "gay" also is. and you never know, if being fey is like, well something's not right and it's dangerous, whether this is the inspiration....though by the time this slang starts turning up, and even in the time of prior possible origins / the roots in other usages / potential inspirations, theoretical actual fairies are surely becoming more Fanciful, this being around like, the 18th century, rather than "here's martin luther telling you to immolate! that! baby!"

but that like, you can have it all ways out here. the Always Small fairies i think being a later kind of victorian deal, rather than "fairies are shapeshifters & can become animals e.g. & May have a 'tiny little inches or millimeters high mode' but that's just a mode & the fact that generally though they just look like people, maybe with some stylistic variations and tells, means watch out" and i think wings came up ever, across yknow the various centuries and regions of folklore out here lmao and possible origins / influences yet further across time & regions & cultures, but again "always small and always winged" being a very relatively modern victorian deal. but we can draw on that to be sure when, additionally, a Potential mutual [would prefer to avoid] between fairies and humans (as opposed to "if your house or some shit is on a fairy path bestie just build them another door to walk straight through cuz they're Gonna") becomes "no, fairies mostly avoid humans more than the other way around" type of imbalance of any threat means like, well hey sure, the Real Self could then become a tiny little magical guy having fun with wing designs who is shy and elusive but maybe another fun little guy can accidentally become aware but then have a secret little hidden friendship hmm....

but then also just thinking of the version where you just look exactly like everyone else and live amongst them, changeling style. and potentially don't Know you're different, or at least not Why, b/c this is a "from birth" thing like hmmm ya don't say. and the whole thread where in some folklore fairies Aren't nonhuman, the difference is only about the separate fairy Realm you live in, which is different, with like "yeah sometimes fairies come from people who died." and alongside / overlapping with everything like "yeah you could disappear for a few days to that realm and then be like 'don't wanna / can't talk about it'" and whatever all various like "watch out for the liminal and unknowingly wandering or being taken into the fairy world and Then watch out for communing with them b/c then you could be Permanently affected, or permanently continually affected or vulnerable, or just stuck there. and we wouldn't want that" like well don't let them know your name but maybe try to find out their names b/c you can get at them in turn that way, don't get in on any food, don't get in on any parties. though variations, sometimes people getting whisked away for particular tasks that apparently Only humans can do. or forever potential for helpful / sympathetic fairy interventions in life. like fairies raising humans b/c their human parents were awful

also, that some classic Tests for "is your baby a changeling?" were very like, "well i guess if we drowned or burned that person and they just died about it....our bad," in the way that like apparently the way to go could be "put them in the fire. where they'll either burn or fly out the chimney." or "start going tf beating them with objects. so that they go away" like and they never stop beating winston with hammers out here!! or the classic "idk abandon them in the forest so fairies can take them back" like well they do also like [i prefer to pretend winston doesn't exist / forget that he does] lmao. this isn't really related. just the ol "ballpeen hammers kind of goated when it comes to putting someone in a sack and beating them to death" factor out here for your local changelings

also sure thinking of like ohh watch out for winston and his gayass Realm he exists in which is wrong and not of our own and potentially will forever change you with its gayass ways. uh oh don't get corrupted into a whole other powerful magical mode of existence if you commune with him in some deep fundamental nourishing ways. oh nooo watch ouuuut....one of the "you might be a changeling if" moments being "when they think they're alone do they act up?? dance??" like yeah i'm stimming and bursting into motion and making noises and existing wrong when i think i'm alone. Old Souls (theory as well that newborn changelings were secretly elderly fairies)....existence in the Fey Realm just making you different and out of place huh. and it would just be a guy though like either [undetectable except by already trying to kill them] and/or [actually just a human, fairies are just humans, fairies b/c they're in/from the fairy realm] but uh oh don't let him corrupt you. don't go hanging out with him and talking with him and partaking in his activities and embracing his ways. you'll be changed. you'll never fit in around here and be able to do things right ever again. we'll have to start beating you with hammers. and all for what. your weird gayass little guy and a whole possible other dimension of existence? vs all This? smh

[gas-stxtion-a]

//evelyn mckinnon, daniel esparanza, and jack townsend should hang out and form the Disabled Protagonists Of Workplace Horror-Comedy Series Club.

[pitzer]

I love this person

“Occasionally I’ll have a beer after work and break out the sketchbook. But I had wanted to be this great painter. I wanted to do these grand things: big, huge oil paintings. But those days of painting all the time were such a roller coaster. There were these periods of extreme depression, followed by manic states of trying to put myself out there. I couldn’t do it anymore. I mainly felt sorry for my dad. I know it was rough for him. My mom hadn’t wanted me to go to art school. She wanted me to do something more practical, but my dad said: ‘No. This is what he wants to do, and I want to support his dream.’ And then I abandoned it. That was the first time I had to deal with real failure. A lot of times when you’re an artist, it’s your job, it’s your lifestyle, it’s your entire fucking identity. It wasn’t like I failed to do a thing. It was like: I failed to be something, you know? It was a failure to live up to what I thought was my destiny. But then on the other side of that, there was this figuring out that there was nothing wrong with me the entire time. I didn’t need to be something else to have meaningful friendships, or a good relationship. I didn’t need to be something else to be loved and cared about. After work tonight I’m going to meet up with a person who’s in love with me, and I can’t wait. And that person met me long after I gave up on being a full-time artist. They met me when I wasn’t even a chef yet. I was a piss-poor, part-time line cook. But even then, they decided I was worth it. So you know, there’s something there. There’s something there that’s enough.”

[luulapants]

25 ways to be a little more punk in 2025

Cut fast fashion - buy used, learn to mend and/or make your own clothes, buy fewer clothes less often so you can save up for ethically made quality

Cancel subscriptions - relearn how to pirate media, spend $10/month buying a digital album from a small artist instead of on Spotify, stream on free services since the paid ones make you watch ads anyway

Green your community - there's lots of ways to do this, like seedbombing or joining a community garden or organizing neighborhood trash pickups

Be kind - stop to give directions, check on stopped cars, smile at kids, let people cut you in line, offer to get stuff off the high shelf, hold the door, ask people if they're okay

Intervene - learn bystander intervention techniques and be prepared to use them, even if it feels awkward

Get closer to your food - grow it yourself, can and preserve it, buy from a farmstand, learn where it's from, go fishing, make it from scratch, learn a new ingredient

Use opensource software - try LibreOffice, try Reaper, learn Linux, use a free Photoshop clone. The next time an app tries to force you to pay, look to see if there's an opensource alternative

Make less trash - start a compost, be mindful of packaging, find another use for that plastic, make it a challenge for yourself!

Get involved in local politics - show up at meetings for city council, the zoning commission, the park district, school boards; fight the NIMBYs that always show up and force them to focus on the things impacting the most vulnerable folks in your community

DIY > fashion - shake off the obsession with pristine presentation that you've been taught! Cut your own hair, use homemade cosmetics, exchange mani/pedis with friends, make your own jewelry, duct tape those broken headphones!

Ditch Google - Chromium browsers (which is almost all of them) are now bloated spyware, and Google search sucks now, so why not finally make the jump to Firefox and another search like DuckDuckGo? Or put the Wikipedia app on your phone and look things up there?

Forage - learn about local edible plants and how to safely and sustainably harvest them or go find fruit trees and such accessible to the public.

Volunteer - every week tutoring at the library or once a month at the humane society or twice a year serving food at the soup kitchen, you can find something that matches your availability

Help your neighbors - which means you have to meet them first and find out how you can help (including your unhoused neighbors), like elderly or disabled folks that might need help with yardwork or who that escape artist dog belongs to or whether the police have been hassling people sleeping rough

Fix stuff - the next time something breaks (a small appliance, an electronic, a piece of furniture, etc.), see if you can figure out what's wrong with it, if there are tutorials on fixing it, or if you can order a replacement part from the manufacturer instead of trashing the whole thing

Mix up your transit - find out what's walkable, try biking instead of driving, try public transit and complain to the city if it sucks, take a train instead of a plane, start a carpool at work

Engage in the arts - go see a local play, check out an art gallery or a small museum, buy art from the farmer's market

Go to the library - to check out a book or a movie or a CD, to use the computers or the printer, to find out if they have other weird rentals like a seed library or luggage, to use meeting space, to file your taxes, to take a class, to ask question

Listen local - see what's happening at local music venues or other events where local musicians will be performing, stop for buskers, find a favorite artist, and support them

Buy local - it's less convenient than online shopping or going to a big box store that sells everything, but try buying what you can from small local shops in your area

Become unmarketable - there are a lot of ways you can disrupt your online marketing surveillance, including buying less, using decoy emails, deleting or removing permissions from apps that spy on you, checking your privacy settings, not clicking advertising links, and...

Use cash - go to the bank and take out cash instead of using your credit card or e-payment for everything! It's better on small businesses and it's untraceable

Give what you can - as capitalism churns on, normal shmucks have less and less, so think about what you can give (time, money, skills, space, stuff) and how it will make the most impact

Talk about wages - with your coworkers, with your friends, while unionizing! Stop thinking about wages as a measure of your worth and talk about whether or not the bosses are paying fairly for the labor they receive

Think about wealthflow - there are a thousand little mechanisms that corporations and billionaires use to capture wealth from the lower class: fees for transactions, interest, vendor platforms, subscriptions, and more. Start thinking about where your money goes, how and where it's getting captured and removed from our class, and where you have the ability to cut off the flow and pass cash directly to your fellow working class people

[thedandelionresistance]

Screenshot is a post with username cropped out which reads:

goodnight to people who are unable to run

goodnight to people who used to be known for 'running/skipping' everywhere until it

became far too painful and dangerous

goodnight to people who have a walking gait that shows deformity and 'disturbs others'

goodnight to people who have limbs that 'move wrong'

goodnight to people who walk with a limp

goodnight to people who stumble and fall

goodnight to people who use a mobility aid

goodnight to people who use elevators

goodnight to people who use shower-chairs

goodnight to people who use ramps

#cripple punk #cpunk #physically disabled #chronic illness #chronic pain

#disabled positivity #this is about physical illnesses and such please do not derail

#do not derail

Oooh what a nice positivity post, I can't walk because of a condition generally considered neurological (it's under-studied so that's just what we currently understand of it) and also severe executive dysfunction that can leave me catatonic or nearly s-

Oh it's not for people who are in these categories for the "wrong" arbitrary reasons. If your illness is not considered "physical" even if it impairs or completely gets rid of your ability to walk get fucked I guess? /s

Like of course these kinds of people are always like "oh but if it physically disabled you then it's a physical illness" but if you say "okay, my schizophrenia severely disables me to the point of being unable to move" they always say "no it doesn't you attention seeking abled faker!!!"

Like, even setting aside that all neurological conditions are considered neurodivergence, including migraines, seizures, chiari malformations, traumatic brain injuries, depression, PTSD, and so on (neither being permanent nor being something you're born with are requirements for something being neurodivergent, just that they make your neurology different from the norm)...

There is no even divide between physical and psychiatric/neurological conditions.

Schizophrenic catatonia can cause people to literally be completely able to move for YEARS to the point they need a full time carer (I'm lucky that my episodes tend to only last less than an hour/not always be full body and tend to be triggered more when sleep deprived, but I have still nearly LITERALLY DROWNED in the bath because of them, and have had lesser episodes that resulted in me soiling myself because I could not move).

ALS is a degenerative neuron disease, one that affected Stephen Hawking and was the reason he needed a wheelchair and AAC device over time.

Potentially deadly heart conditions are extremely commonly comorbid with anxiety.

Conditions like IBS, which have an extremely high mortality rate when untreated, are highly comorbid with... well, half the DSM, so to speak.

Trauma is suspected to be a possible catalyst for or driver of multiple multisystemic chronic illnesses, including mast cell disorders.

Many common "mental illnesses" can cause tremors, heart palpitations and chronic tachycardia, gut dysbiosis, and more.

Many physical chronic illnesses directly have neurological symptoms, including severe cognitive impairment/dysfunction, and mood swings/emotional dysregulation, to the point where cognitive impairment is part of the diagnostic criteria for chronic fatigue syndrome that can be used even in the absence of orthostatic intolerance (which is a symptom understood to be typically neurological, as well, though not neuropsychological).

Even ADHD can severely physically disable you, because it essentially shuts down your bodily control center's ability to send commands and run physical tasks. I know so many people think ADHD cannot be that disabling and that it either must be something else or people are just lying, but it turns out that ADHD isn't just not being able to find your keys where you last set them down and being a bit late to scheduled events!

No good night for me, because my physical and psychological symptoms can't be neatly sorted out into simple palatable little boxes. Yeah, I've heard all the "but if you have physical disabilities that counts!! If you have physically disabling symptoms of a condition, that makes it a physical disability!!"

Those same exact people called my housebound, sometimes bedbound, semi-ambulatory wheelchair-using, incontinence-product-needing, caregiver-reliant ass a liar, a faker, attention-seeking, abled, drug-addicted (in a derogatory way, we don't fucking shame addicts here), crazy, delusional, "schizo" freak who just wanted to feel special and talk over "real" disabled people.

The people who said "hey, the brain is a physical organ and part of your nervous system, psychiatric conditions are a result of biochemical and physiological processes in that organ, and often because your brain controls your body and has a lot of interaction with every other system, symptoms and conditions don't neatly fit into one category or another" were the ones who believed me about my experiences with disability, interpersonal and systemic ableism, my mental illness causing actual literal physical inaccessibility in the same way a lack of a ramp for my wheelchair does, that ADHD is my most disabling condition including over ones that could cause me to go into actual organ failure, and so on.

So I'll make a positivity post for people with mobility and gait issues who use mobility aids and such, that doesn't shut out anyone with neuro and psych issues causing those things, that doesn't draw a smug and quite frankly unnecessary line in the sand just to stick it to people they don't consider to be "really" disabled or ever as disabled as "physically disabled" people (something that these kinds of people have directly admitted to my face, that they don't believe neurodisability can ever be as severely disabling or dangerous as physical disability, or even really significantly disabling, while also accusing me of tokenizing myself and other low functioning high support needs neurodisabled people).

I mean, this is the flip side of the coin of making posts about universal or (category-transcending) general ableism or disability experiences and claiming they're physical-disability-exclusive. It's making a post about symptoms that clearly manifest physically, then saying "don't derail and make this about NON-PHYSICAL stuff," with the unspoken threat that any mention of a diagnosis or symptom mechanism they refuse to believe CAN cause significant physical issues will be considered derailing.

I know because it's happened to me a thousand times already.

I honestly hope no one like that sees this, but if they do, be honest with yourself.

What would you do if the 87 percent of autistic people with gait issues talked about their experiences with those things overlapping? What would you do if I talked about how I had to go to occupational therapy as a toddler to change the mobility issues caused by the trauma of infant CSA (with no actual physical injury or trauma related to it)? What would you do if schizophrenic people talked about how catatonia causes them to need mobility aids? What would you do if someone talked about how OCD or delusions or uncontrollable stimming or Tourette's causes their limbs to "move wrong" and "disturbs" other people? What would you do if someone uses a mobility aid, physical accommodations, or has mobility issues for the "wrong" reasons; because of a "mental" illness.

Don't immediately react. Don't jump in to defend yourself about how "oh you'd accept that because it's a physical symptom and therefore a physical disability". Don't tell me, because the majority of you have already SHOWN me what you'd really do. I'm not talking about a small amount of people.

I'm talking about thousands of people who have admitted, either directly or in other posts of theirs, that they actively deny the experiences of, fakeclaim, and speak over people who are physically disabled AND neurodisabled, especially those of us who cannot divide our conditions and symptoms neatly like that.

I'm talking hundreds of examples of blatant sanism and neuroableism, from calling me and people like me crazy and stupid and dangerous and saying we should be institutionalized and have our autonomy stripped from us and even directly using my trauma from exactly that to try and trigger me into a meltdown or self-harming.

I'm talking telling me to prove autistic meltdowns could be dangerous by going and giving myself the brain damage I pointed out self-injurious behaviors during meltdowns can cause. I'm talking people telling me that my suicide attempts should have been successful and that they hoped I'd face actual ableism, often on the same days I was in the ER as a direct result of ableist medical neglect.

Saying "oh but we'll be nice (if we choose to believe you) if you say you're physically disabled" for optics, so you can look like the reasonable tolerant victim of those meanie able-bodied barely disabled neurodivergent disabled people (who are most often also profoundly physically disabled) when they point out your actual behavior towards them 99 percent of the time" isn't going to fly.

Because saying your post is about physical illnesses isn't actually about derailing. If it was, you'd say it's about mobility aids and issues. Because I guarantee it's not about every other physical illness, from sensory impairment to non-mobility-related gut and organ dysfunction and failure to allergenic disorders.

But it is about exclusion. It's about controlling the narrative. It's about a shibboleth to denote that only other people who agree that neurodisabled people are stinky mean invaders in the disability community who make everything about them, while making posts claiming shared experiences are exclusive are all about you and your disability. It's deflecting accountability by giving yourself the out of "oh but see this isn't about anyone with these issues and if you think it is maybe you're the meanie able-bodied ableists we write it for" and weaponizing your own neurodivergence to claim you're not neuroableist in the same post you claim someone is lying about how disabling their neurodivergence is because in your own words yours doesn't disable you that much.

So no, it's not actually open to all physical disabilities, even assuming generously that that's what you mean when you specify physical illnesses (which would generally imply that nonphysical illnesses with physical symptoms don't count to most fluent english speakers).

It's not open to those of us who have messy complex disabilities and who acknowledge that all of emotions and intelligence and cognition and identity is caused by electric currents and chemicals being sent through a slab of meat wrapped in bone (and even that we barely understand, with scientists discovering that a lot of those things might actually be partially caused or driven by processes elsewhere in the body, even leaving aside that the brain itself is also just the CPU of the whole machine and that CPU issues do in fact affect not just the whole operating system but can even cause or lead to hardware issues themselves.

It's not for any of the people who experience or understand these things the "wrong" way.

It's for your little clique to be able to say "you can't sit at our table" and then put on convincing crocodile tears and play victim for your followers when someone dares to call you out for being a petty bully punching sideways at MOST at the severely disabled people you're claiming are your oppressors.

Yeah no, honey. I've seen it in a dozen marginalized communities and every time it's the most vulnerable members that get fucked over by it. I'm not playing your games or engaging with your pathetic power grab.

If anyone is actually interested in how you can create spaces tailored for specific needs and experiences, we're going to shamelessly plug our own medium article about Selective Inclusion. (We probably need to redraft it honestly, but it's got the point at least.) For a brief explanation, selective inclusion is about choosing to focus a space around a need, experience, or identity, and then letting anyone in who believes they share it.

Now, that sounds like what "oh but if you have physical symptoms that counts" covers, but even if that weren't a pretty falsehood, selectively inclusive spaces around an identity focus on the identity itself, without claiming shared experiences are exclusive or that shared needs should only be met for people who use the right label. It is a space explicitly intended to be safe and comfortable for people who are "[identity] AND" - som a space that allows neurodivergent physically disabled people (and people with only "neurodivergent diagnoses" who have physically disabling symptoms) room to talk about how their identities intersect and affect each other and how sometimes they cause seemingly contradictory effects and experiences.

That is not what cripplepunk spaces, which co-opted a word that has historically been used against all of us*, and claimed its reclamation is exclusive only to some of us because a person not fully aware of its history (because I choose to believe it was not maliciously coined) defined the rest of us out of our own history.

*Despite people denying not just disability history but direct evidence of it, the term "mental cripple" appears in a number of actual scientific papers and was in fact the official term for a time, and was used specifically in the context of the institutionalization and brutalization of neurodisabled people in asylums. People were tortured and even lobotomized for daring to be a cripple whose "deformity" (another historically used term for neurodivergent people) was in the brain. But of course, historical revisionism and claims that it's an "outdated" usage despite lived experiences of neurodisabled people contradicting that are "counterevidence" to this.

Anyway usual disclaimer if you're just here to insult me, ignore everything I've said and try to argue with things I either didn't say or that aren't true, fakeclaim me, or all the usual stuff, just block me. You will be filtered and blocked by my comment screener before I ever see it anyway.

People who want to ask good faith questions or discuss personal experiences (including with neuroableism and corpoableism in the disabled community), as long as you don't act as if ableism is stored in the (physical or neuro) disability, you are welcome to interact. I am usually pretty good about assuming good faith and giving the benefit of the doubt as long as there is any to give, and I think it is really important to have conversations about lateral ableism that the majority of us are absolutely capable (hm, maybe an ironic word here, but I think still accurate?) of perpetuating.

[cursed-spirit-manipulation]

thinking Abt Suguru autism and struggling bc I have forgotten 1. Everything Suguru has ever done 2. Every symptom of autism ever and then I remembered Suguru fucking. Knows every curse he's swallowed. And it's like y'know what maybe I don't have to make an airtight case for this