#anyways this whole incest thing is also the reason why i get frustrated about those books that have | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

musclesandhammering · 3 years ago

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I'm not fond of the pairing but from what I've seen General public actually loves Sylki very much. Even the trade reviews called the relationship "genius" which,,,ok. Someone did a poll on various platforms, yt, reddit, fb, twitter etc comparing which ship is better (Lokius or Sylki) and it was Sylki who won by large margin in the end. I suppose mostly they just don't care because it's sci fi and a pairing in a totally unrealistic show, and after Wandavision I guess weird ships are 'in' but yeah it makes you think. But the writers already said they won't give in to the fan pressure bc they have their own story to tell (which ok, valid, you do you) but idk. I guess we will get even more Sylki in second season. Tom already said Loki won't stop searching for her

Sometimes I think casual fans are the most irritating thing about being in a fandom :/

Just as a disclaimer (bc I don’t want people coming for me): I think lokius is really cute, and I love fics/art/headcanons about them, but I never thought they were canonically romantically interested in each other. I never thought lokius was gonna be canon, and I never wanted it to (because I didn’t want ANY romance in the series), so I don’t even include it in my argument against s*lki.

Ok so….. listen. This is gonna be a long ass post, so I’m putting it under a cut. Sorry, anon, but you’re the one that opened the Worm Can.

The viewing public, in general, tends to heavily skew towards heterosexual-presenting ships. Partially because a portion of the general audiences are homophobic, and partially because a lot of non-tumblr fans are so sick of hearing tumblr stans go on and on and on about how they were queerbaited by certain gay ships not becoming canon, when in reality, said ships are trash.

Listen. I sympathise with that. I get that. I know I’m beating a hornet’s nest with this, but…. D*stiel? J*hnlock? St*cky? None of those were written in any way to invoke queer undertones, they were always supposed to be platonic, and tbfh even as platonic relationships the first two are literally toxic and abusive as hell, anyway.

So I definitely understand how a casual straight fan on Twitter or Instagram would see some of those same crazy “we were queerbaited” tumblr stans ranting about lokius not becoming canon and how much s*lki sucks and……. it makes sense that they’d be like “These people are just pissed that their gay ship isn’t canon, that’s why they hate s*lki.”

But here’s the thing. I don’t think those people realise how callous it is to say something like that when the only reason queer kids are so quick to ship any two male characters who express a modicum of affection for one another, is that they’re so fucking starved for representation in the first place, they’re willing to see queer romance in any same-sex interaction. They’re just that desperate. That’s where the whole crazy gay stan thing comes from. And yeah, it’s annoying that these people put their whole chest into defending gay ships that are total trash, but you have to realise why they do it.

So, what I’m saying is, for s*lki shippers- who are already winning, because their straight ship had the privilege of easily becoming canon despite all its flaws- to look at queer people who are frustrated to the point of tears that they were once again conned out of any form of queer rep (for the mcu’s first canon queer character, for gods sake) after actually genuinely being queerbaited this time (with his bisexuality/genderfluidity)….. and to essentially gloat that their straight ship became canon and taunt queer people by saying “oh you’re just desperate for two men to kiss”………… idk, man. It just seems real cold to me. Reeks of straight privilege and heteronormativity.

Ok, so with that being said.. let me respond to your actual ask lol.

I’m not surprised at all that s*lki won the popularity polls. I think a large reason for that is the fact that it was pitted against lokius, which sorta rubs a lot of casual viewers the wrong way for reasons listed above. I’m also not surprised that casual viewers liked it outside of its opposition to lokius- because, um, casual viewers aren’t very smart.

They tend to analyse exactly nothing, they don’t look any deeper than the surface, and if the writers of a show stick a hot man and woman together under a blanket, they eat it up. Because the narrative tells them it’s sweet. Just like the narrative tells them Loki is a greasy asshole who had no character development up until this point, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them that sylvie’s the best thing since sliced bread, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them it’s completely in character for Loki to try to subjugate a group of 3 random Mongolians in the middle of the dessert for absolutely no reason other than his “narcissism”, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them that one throwaway line about liking “a bit of both” is somehow this groundbreaking example of lgbt representation, and they eat that up too……… See the pattern here?

And as far as being concerned about the pseudo-incest angle, I don’t even think casual fans even dug that deep. They literally just saw two main characters- a pretty white woman and a hot white man- doing cool fight scenes together and giving each other goo goo eyes, and they were automatically sold.

And the writers saying “we won’t give in to fan pressure, we have our own story to tell” is honestly complete bullshit. What the hell is the POINT of working for a corporate film company and telling a story on screen if not to please the fans??? They do what they do to get people to watch their shows to get lots of money. That’s literally what they’re there for. Mike Waldron must have a pretty damn inflated sense of self importance if he thinks his own “artistic vision” or what the hell ever is the priority here lmao.

And I wanna be mad about Season 2, I really do. But at this point Season 1 ruined the character so much for me that I legitimately don’t even care what direction they take him in.

#this is probably all over the place and semi-incomprehensible but oh well #sometimes ya just gotta rant #topic: queerbaiting in cinema #loki deserved better #antisylki #anti mike waldron #anti sylvie #@marvel I hate you #anti casual fans #frosty bby #queerbaiting #anti loki series #loki series critical #loki series negativity #ask #anon #language tw

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harrowscore · 3 years ago

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Mikasa Ackermann, Levi Ackermann, Amane Misa, Aeron Greyjoy for the charactet ask :3

SOMEONE HEARD MY PRAYERS AND NOW MY TIME HAS COME, tysm!!!!! <3

okay, let's start with levi (my beloved):

hogwarts house: gryffindor (maybe....?) | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

ugh, the hp sorting house system is way too reductive. he has qualities of gryffindor, slytherin, and hufflepuff - brave, astute, loyal to a fault, etc. so it's a hard choice. but if i really have to choose, i'd go for gryffindor. i know that his Bad Boy facade shouts slytherin, but while he has larger goals (killing all the titans, then saving the world etc.), he's got no actual ambition for himself. hufflepuff would also be a good option.

daemon (from the his dark materials series): (because i've just decided that's just way more accurate than the hp method) some kind of big feline. maybe a panther - a black panther would be the ideal - aloof, predatory, dangerous, fiercely independent.

best quality: besides his obvious strenghts as a leader and warrior, the way he cares for his comrades-in-arms. it's very hard to gain his trust and respect, but once you have it, it's forever. he's pragmatic and ruthless, yes, but he also has a huge capacity for compassion and friendship. not that he would be effusive about his affections, of course.

worst quality: none, he's absolutely perfect ❤ jklsdfhjk jokes aside, he really struggles to open up (a serious understatement), idt he ever talked about his traumatic past with anyone. i mean, maybe he mentioned it to hange and erwin (erwin knew him when he was still an undergound thug, so...), but... he's not great with feelings. despite his apathetic, intimidating mask, he feels and cares deeply, but he has a long history with losing the people he loves, so he tries to not personally care about his squadmates, which can be both a strenght and a weakness. of course, he spectacularly fails at this.

ship them with: well, it's not a secret that i'm a huge rivamika fan, this ship is almost literally consuming my waking thoughts lmao. imo they're perfectly compatible: very similar personalities (stoic, the strongest warriors, absolutely terrifying on the battlefield but with a soft underbelly), very similar pasts/experiences, so many parallels that it's actually ridiculous, etc. i love how they're both each other's equals and likeness (yes, i took it from jane eyre. no, i don't regret anything lmao). a lot of tropes i love, too: Terrible First Impression (the Pride and Prejudice vibes are so strong with these two, you have no idea), Kindred Spirits/Mirror Images, Veteran/Young Prodigy, The Last of Their Kind, even Height Difference lmao. i could write a whole rivamika manifesto, but this is already too long. (maybe for some other time 👀) i would've loved for their dynamic to be more explored in canon but alas, isayama clearly didn't give a shit about the ackerman legacy, he just used it as a plot shortcut to give them conveniently unique powers, since they never really talked about it 🙄 (and before some troll comes into my askbox shouting "you iNcEsT fReAk!!!!1!!", they're only very distantly related. we know shit about the ackermans but we know for sure that they've got at least several generations between them. biologically their shared DNA is 0%, obviously they don't see each other as family, all the eldians have a dead ass common ancestor from 2000 years ago so they're all basically ⁓related anyway. if you really wanna scream about i.ncest, go watch got/dark/the borgias and shut the fuck up please. or alternatively go outside and touch some grass) sorry for the rant, uh. anyway, i can also see levi/erwin. idk if i'd ever care enough to read a fic about them (i'm usually a huge multishipper, but for some weird reason not when it comes to rivamika? same with braime and kastle tbh), but still, i can see it.

brotp them with: hange and erwin, obv. veteran trio >>> ema trio, sorry not sorry (at least h. and e. died before yams had the chance to ruin their character arcs)

needs to stay away from: ...uh, filth, i guess? lmao

misc. thoughts: besides the stupid teenage fangirl crush i have on him, i'm genuinely fascinated by the man himself. he's a huge mess of a contradictions, and yet somehow it works: he's violent and brash and kind of an asshole, but also has a strong moral code and integrity; he's obv very skilled at all the killing/torturing stuff and yet he has a huge respect for life; he's got a potty mouth to say the least, and yet some very aristocratic manners/tastes (the way he sits, his preference for tea and usually refined clothes); he comes from what's supposed to be an illustrous bloodline, he's methodical and very precise, and yet he was born and raised in the underground, he's been used to filth and blood and poverty since he was a child, kenny of all people was his father figure, and probably has known no other life than a perennial survival mode existence. he's "humanity's strongest soldier", but while well-built he's also small, the david to the titans' goliah, and probably not what people would assume a born warrior looks like. he's also one of the few characters who stayed true to himself and his original characterization until the end, bless you smol king ❤

(okay, this is getting long!)

mikasa:

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

this is actually easy: mikasa belongs to hufflepuff and no, i won't take criticism (just joking lol). enough with this "hufflepuffs are fluffy puppies/Cinnamon Rolls <3" thing: mikasa values loyalty and duty more than anything else. she's also hardworking... and fierce, strong, lethal. yes, hufflepuff and lethal are not mutually exclusive concepts.

daemon: (finally the better option) a she-wolf, fiercely protective of her pack.

best quality: loyal, brave, incredibly strong (alongside her more fragile qualities). practical and level-headed on the battlefield, at least when eren is not included in the picture.

worst quality: struggles to let go of the past (understandable, considering her trauma). tunnel-vision when it comes to eren, obv. extreme levels of delusions ("if only i spoke openly about my romantic feelings for him - as if i didn't made them abundantly clear in ⁓6 years - he wouldn't kill 80% of humanity :(((" lmao okay. just. okay), but that's more on the writing. she's sadly more static than any other main character throughtout the whole series.

ship them with: see above :) but recently i've also started to be intrigued by mikasa/annie and mikasa/sasha. also, i'm sympathetic to jeankasa fans, though i don't actually care for the ship.

brotp them with: EMA trio, especially armin+mikasa. their friendship is so beautiful and special. also sasha.

needs to stay away from: ...... eren, at least romantically. again, that's more on the writing than anything else, but e.remika unfortunately encompasses many tropes i loathe with all the strength of my old shriveled heart: childhood friends-to lovers where the (male) childhood friend doesn't acknolewdge/is completely indifferent to the other (female) friend's romantic feelings, she hopelessly pines for him for years without anything more than a cold shoulder... until in the last chapter it's revealed that he loved her all along and doesn't "want other men to have her!!! :((" (then why did you have no reaction whatsoever to jean's years-long crush on her while she was jealous of any vaguely female-shaped human being you were friendly to, including hange? are you that dumb, man?); the female character's development and entire arc 100% revolves around the male protagonist - she has no goals, no dreams of her own except staying with him forever and ever; the romance is based on an idealized childhood dream, therefore reaffirming those childish illusions would make the character regress, not actually grow up (and nope, epilogue!jk doesn’t count; that also lacks build-up - i would’ve said the same about rm as well, so it’s not about shipping, guys, it really isn’t - and mikasa needed an inner change; getting married to another man but still praying to eren’s shrine is not substitute to actual development lol). post-time skip she's never really frustrated/angry with him, they never get a confrontation about him becoming a, y'know, mass-murderer of gigantic (pun intended) proportions; she puts him on a pedestal, and never stops idealizing him/never sees him for what he actually is (the narrative framing him as some kind of tragic martyr/saint eren from paradis with zero agency and basically... no clear motivation for the abovementioned mass murder, and not the actual complex tragic anti-hero/villain motivated by revenge and righteous fury he deserved to be, does not help). it lacks a good or even decent build-up - it's basically all tell and not show. now, if they'd actually been childhood friends to enemies to lovers/mutually co-dependent... it could have been interesting. sadly, it's not my cup of tea. of course this is just my personal preference, no hard feelings to the shippers.

misc. thoughts: enormous potential. she's been my fav female character since s1 - and ah, i miss s1!mikasa, when she had actually other stuff to do besides mothering eren. i love that she's the strongest warrior (second only to levi, obv), that her skills are never called into questions despite her gender, i love how she stands up for herself and the people she loves, that she may seem cold and stoic and yet has a such a huge heart, that she's not perfect but also sometimes awe-inspiring. sadly, she never really gets out of eren's shadow; what she lacks is an arc focused on herself. that's why imo getting deeper into the ackerman lore would've helped (also, you cannot make the main female character and the most popular male character descend from the same Unique Bloodline or whatever, and never really make them acknowledge it out loud; as a writer, you just can't lol). my spite is so strong that i'm currently writing a ridiculously pretentious fic that's 70% development for her character, to give her a voice, and 30% ackerthirsting. (yes, that's the fic i'm always vagueblogging about lmao, rip @ my brain). if any other rivamika fan is interested… mind you, it’s in italian tho, and idt i have the skills to translate into english.

misa:

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

daemon: mmh, maybe some kind of butterfly? beautiful, colorful, and short-lived.

best quality: glorious fashion sense, more inventive and ingenious than fans actually give her credit for.

worst quality: shallow, impulsive, and obv her dependence on/obsession with light (which stems from trauma btw, but still… the very opposite of a relationship between equals).

ship them with: rem, kinda (monster/human ftw!). also weirdly enough mogi, a little bit? she deserves someone who actually respects her… though she’s far from being a perfect angel. she may actually be crazier than light on some aspects. but in this house we stan evil ladies anyway, so i have no problem with that <3

brotp them with: uh, idk, maybe matsuda?

needs to stay away from: obv light. also takada.

misc. thoughts: a tragic victim of sexist writing. she may be… unhinged to say the least, but she didn’t deserve the abuse she got from light (and from the fans). the female characters’ writing in dn is so bad that idk if it’s on purpose, to kinda mirror the reality of women in a patriarchal society (dependent on men, housewives whose life entirely revolves around their husband/boyfriend etc.), or just casual misogyny lol. it’s even more baffling since we don’t know the author’s gender (they may be a man, a woman, nb, anything really). i tend for the latter option tho.

aegon greyjoy (now, i wasn’t expecting him lol):

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

i’m so sorry, i haven’t the slightest idea lmao. maybe gryffindor? mind you, it’s been a long time since i’ve re-read the books, so i don’t have many thoughts about him.

daemon: maybe it’s cliché, but some kind of fish/squid lmao

best quality: ugh, i really can’t remember much from his chapters :(( he’s not a coward, i guess? (lame answer, sorry!)

worst quality: definitely his religious fanaticism.

ship them with: no one.

brotp them with: uh… his family, ig? except euron.

needs to stay away from: obv euron. brr ://

misc. thoughts: i genuinely like the greyjoys chapters, though i vastly prefer the martells (with the exception of theon and asha, bcs i love them). yes, they’re deranged. yes, victarion is… well, victarion lol. but the drowned god religion is actually interesting, grrm knows how to write trauma - every time aeron mentions euron and that freaking door i’m like… :// - and the tragedy of it all… just great writing all around.

okay, that’s the end lmao. thank you so much, love!!! ❤❤

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #asks #cafeleningrad #if *anyone* dares to start stupid wank on my super niche blog they'll be blocked on sight i'm warning you #snk salt

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well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now · 3 years ago

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Time to talk about Lillith :)

So her being MC's ancestor in the story was... A bad choice, in my opinion.

And I don't hate that she was the one who revived MC, quite the opposite, that was a fine move. I like to think that it was to show that MC had a connection to all the siblings, dead or alive, hate or love. It's just...

Why are they (technically) related? What was the purpose?

That could sound mean, but if some of your playbase could call incest and (possibly) have a leg to stand on, it's a bit... Much, let's say. But, either way, there is an alternative that I like. (And one I made up, but that's besides the point.)

I like the idea that Diavolo lied to the brothers to keep the peace. To me, it makes sense, because:

He needs to keep the peace between the three realms, and y'know, one of the humans dying kind of prevents that. So, why not lie to them to make sure this never happens again?

It would also get to a quick resolution for the brothers, since I'm pretty sure that Belph was about to kill MC... Again.

Sadly, I only have two reasons, but you're smart, you can probably expand upon this.

Anyway, this might be a bit sloppy, but I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say.

Your Anonymous Color Coder,

Lesson 42 Anon

(P.S. I have issues with Lesson 16, 17, and 18. I say this just in case I want to rant about it. :)

So initially I wasn't the biggest fan of them being related, though when they first started hinting at a connection between Lilith and MC I had a "OH GOD. OH DAMN. PLEASE DON'T BE LILITH'S REINCARNATION" moment so finding out MC was just a distant relative was a relief but not one I was necessarily happy with? Because of all the "Is this technically incest!?" feelings I had at the time.

But it did grow on me? I think all the human au's I had roaming free in my head helped me get over it? When writing or thinking up human Aus I try to make them as close to the Canon situation as possible so it'd be:

The brothers and Lilith all living in a foster home with only Lucifer and Satan being blood related, but they all see each other as a found family. MC would be a distant (and I mean distant enough it equals to the thousands of years that separate Canon MC and Lilith) cousin who they don't even find out is related to Lilith until much later (after Lilith either leaves and joins a more permanent family or....well dies I guess).

The way I see it, it'd be the same as a group of "we're so close we see each other as siblings" friends wanting to date the distant/estranged relative of one of the group members.

So yeah, now I see the whole Lilith, MC, brothers thing as "Incest if I'm willing to reach so far my arm tears straight outta my socket" so yeah.

Though obviously it's completely valid if people are still uncomfortable with it.

ANXUSJWMNZRATQVX8 Belphie would have totally murdered MC if they didn't bring up the whole Lilith thing! And I'm so upset they all just get over it? Like damn I love Belphie no lie, but are we just gonna gloss over the fact that he was 110% okay with the genocide of the entire human race???????

I also have this headcanon that MC has chronic pain that flares up on and off after Belphie murdered them, cause remember how the ghost of the fortune teller,Gisella (?), on the train said you never forget the feeling of dying and MC had a pretty violent death so.....

I also HC that there are days, specially when the pain is bad, where they can't stand to be near Belphie and that while he was initially upset by this and was persistent about still being with them by around mid S2 or S3 he's learnt to identify those days and understand why MC can't even look at him then and he makes himself scarce and sleeps away the day in an out of the way dark, corner probably with Beel around for emotional support because honestly those days would hurt him as much as MC.

I like that in the Canon storyline that none of the brothers were 100% okay with Belphie right after Lesson 16 and how they went out of their way, more so than usual, to make sure MC wasn't alone with him? I maybe reading into that too much but I liked it..

And I mean generally MC's a very calm, collected, headstrong and stubborn character so as frustrating as it is I understand why they would want to help Belphie get along with the others again. "I died for this shit, so I might as well see it through" kinda mentality

I didn't initially like the two timelines cause it made me really sad imagining the one MC left behind and to ease that angst I always imagined since MC changed the past their original timeline -the future timeline- got erased with a new future unfolding. but someone on tumblr posted a headcanon with evidence on why they thought Barbatos joined the two timelines together so that they live with the extra day of memories and experiences that came from the original timeline AND I JUMPED THE HELL ON THAT BOAT & actually recently wrote something about it. Here have the link and some shameless self promotion cause I'm an attention whore:

Deadlines

"When Mammon meets his soulmate he's going to punch them in the face. It doesn't matter if he'll only find out who exactly his soulmate is when one of them is on their deathbed. He's still going to punch them."

Um anyway that's all my thoughts on 16, 17 & 18 (I think. There might be more that I can't remember at the moment tbh) and since I rambled to you about it you are now contractually obligated to rant to me about yours. Sorry, those are the rules🤷🏽

About the thing you said about Diavolo and his reasons I honestly have nothing else to add, I mean the reasons you gave make total sense and I'm okay with just what the canon gave too so

It wasn't sloppy at all! My rambles are always too long and all over the place!

Edit: I forgot! As to why they were related, yeah I don't think it was completely necessary but still I can see reasons behind it?

1. As a way to make MC other. A devilgram and a little line in S3 makes it seem like MC is neither angel, demon OR human. I HC that Lilith died right as she was changing from angel to demon making her one of a kind and that pure "Fallen Angel" magic came with her when she was reincarnated and then was passed down to MC.

2. How lilith's known as the mother of monsters in some myths and how MC is related to them... I just think it's neat. Plus MC has an insane amount of raw power - truly a monster in their own right

3. It's closure for the brothers. They never got to see Lililth as a human, never got to see her grow up, fall in love, start her own family. The last they saw her she was in pain and dying. They don't get to see if she was happy. MC's the closest proof they have to that. That she found love and had a family and was happy

4. It's closure for lilith. Just the fact that her spirit passed down from descendent to descendent along with her magic till she could see her brothers again just to see if they were happy and to tell them she had lived a long happy life. I don't know I'm really happy she was able to do that

5. The brothers find similarities between Lilith and MC but they're rare and 6 of the 7 brothers already liked MC before they found out about MC being her descendent. And even Belohie starts to like them as their own person. Just I always worry that they like MC just because of the connection between them and Lilith and that they see MC as a replacement but then U remember their Canon interactions and it feels like the brothers actually forget about that connection. MC is Lilith's legacy, they're living proof that you can be born in one world but find your true home in another, but they're not defined by Lilith. They're their own person. Even their magic is their own considering Lilith used the last of hers when she helped them in Lesson 15/16

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me!#shall we date? obey me!#swd obey me #asks #answers #my headcanons #my theories #obey me lilith #obey me belphie #swd lilith #swd belphie #om! belphie #obey me belohegor #om! belphegor #swd belohegor

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thegreymoon · 4 years ago

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Salty Ask list: 9. Most disliked arc? Why?, 20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?, and 27. Least shippable character? The saltier the better!!!

Thank you for the ask, anon!! 💜💜

OK, I will answer both 9 and 10 (because the most disliked arc is no. 10 😅) I have already answered some of these earlier, so I will copy/paste those, if that’s OK!

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

For Merlin:

Agravaine. He’s just the worst. So greasy and sleazy and just, yuck. Yuck, overall. He’s not even one of those characters one can love to hate, like, for example, Uther, who is also simply the worst, but who will preoccupy you in ways you never saw coming! When it comes to Agravaine, everything about him was so thoroughly hateful, frustrating and unenjoyable, the highlight of the entire season was finally watching him go splat against the wall! The second most hated is that girlfriend of Gwaine’s at the very end that was plying him for information. That entire sequence is just so mind-numbingly infuriating, I can’t even think of it without getting angry. It almost ruined Gwaine for me entirely.

For The Untamed:

Oh, finally an easy one!! 😂😂 Wen Chao, Wang Lingjiao and Wen Zhuliu are in a tight race for the first place here and who is winning depends entirely on who I’m looking at in that precise moment! Of course, Wen Ruohan and Wen Xu can get into the hate bucket too, but they were so bland and boring, they cannot really compare. Jin Guangshan is also the worst, I can’t stand him. The only reason I hate the Wens more is that Jin Guangshan is actually a competent villain on a higher scale of villainy than the previous lot. Jin Zixun is also awful, a ridiculously unredeemable character on every front and Su She can also have an honourable mention.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

For Merlin:

Oooh! There are so many!! But I think the ones that I rant about the most often are those related to Gwen! Everything about Gwencelot makes me rage! I dislike him and how he treated her and just do not see this epic ~love~ there, at least not on his part, yet they kept bringing him back to mess up her life over and over again.

Mind you, I am not the biggest fan of Arthur in this context either, he was a terrible boyfriend (though a somewhat better husband because Merlin picked up the slack), even though Arwen >>> Gwencelot by miles and miles. I hated how he would break up with her every five minutes over nonsense and then come crawling back. I hated how she always immediately forgave him, all grateful and relieved, and I always felt like she didn’t really have a choice because the power imbalance between them was staggering. Plus, the fact that she was the one who nursed Uther in his last months after everything he had done to her, and that Arthur had let it happen, infuriates me to no end.

My loathing for that whole cheating arc is infinite. I hate how the writers could not make up their minds about what they wanted to do with her. On the one hand, they were such cowards in their attempts to keep her ideologically pure, they had already sacrificed a lot of her quirkiness and character to suit Arthur’s needs and wants and to make him look good, so they were reluctant to have her actually cheat because it would undermine him. I don’t understand why they even had to have that entire arc if they were so afraid to go there. She was supposed to be under mind-control, and then they pointed out that the spell works by bringing suppressed emotions to the forefront! Why was that necessary? I mean, you can’t have it both ways! Either do it and own it, or just leave it alone! It would have been so easy to have her choose Lancelot and develop a proper romance there, and then to have Lancelot die, and Gwen fall in love with Arthur afterwards, as he supports her while she grieves. But, no, they had to take this cheap shot at her and humiliate her and have her cleaning pigsties just so that Arthur can angst about it for a few episodes. I am forever mad.

I also dislike the whole evil!Gwen arc (though a part of me did enjoy watching her go apeshit after quietly swallowing so much injustice throughout the entire five seasons of this show). I feel like they were intentionally undermining the character and her entire relationship with Arthur. The whole cheating nonsense so late into season 4 had already done so much damage, then they went and pulled this poorly-thought-out crap in the second half of season 5, when emotions were already running high and nobody was in the mood to be forgiving of someone trying at and almost succeeding in killing Arthur, who was so much more beloved among the viewers than her. Just imagine how much better spent that time would have been if they had... oh, I don’t know, developed Mordred more and given him a proper reason to turn against Arthur!

Ugh 😒

For The Untamed:

I dislike the whole Yanli/JZX romance. I don’t know what he’s like in the novel and the other adaptations, but he gets on my very last nerve in the drama and I never actually saw him do anything meaningful to redeem himself for all the crap he pulled and all the humiliation he piled on to her. I also don’t like the whole Yin Iron nonsense. It just doesn’t tie in properly and the plot holes and inconsistencies it leaves behind are gaping and huge (but, happily, nobody is watching this for the Yin Iron plot 😆). There had to have been better things to do there, especially since it is something that does not exist in the source material. The worst parts of the drama for me somehow always tie back to the Yin Iron.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

For Merlin:

Hmmm… when it comes to the most popular ones, I think none of them, because they all get complicated and dark to some degree. But on a platonic level, when it comes to friendships, I would go with Merwen, Merlance and Merwaine. Merlin and Gwen are delightful together, but I have a hard time shipping them romantically without Arthur, there is just no path forward for me there that does not involve him too, and that tips the dynamic into something much more complicated (but still happy for all three of them because I am so not down for jealousy and competition between Merlin and Gwen, Arthur has two hands and he can damn well use them).

I also think that Lancelot’s love for Merlin was pure, but I just don’t ship it at all and think that there was never anything there except for friendship (I can see Arlance going sexual, though). The same goes for Gwaine, I think that he loved Merlin unconditionally, and as far as friendship goes, it is pure, but if I ship them sexually, then all purity goes out of the window, not just as far as the sex is concerned (because the sex they would be having would be positively filthy) but also because I just can’t imagine a universe in which Merlin does not love and desire Arthur more. The angst, the pain and the darkness are off the charts.

As for the less popular ones, I think the purest is Percival/Elyan regardless of whether you see it as romantic or platonic. There is just so much mutual love, admiration and respect between them! No angst, no lies, no triangles, no drama, just taking care of and supporting each other and living in domestic bliss.

For The Untamed:

WangXian, no contest. They fell in love as kids and continued to love each other for the rest of their lives, even beyond death. The way they love each other is so absolute and so selfless! They both respect and admire the other, they are so supportive and accepting of each other, quirks, flaws and all, and they kind of set the gold standard as far as relationships go!

27. Least shippable character?

For Merlin:

Eh... this is a tough one. I actually had to step away from this question and think about it and I didn’t come up with anything because the entire main and recurring cast is very shippable. There are, however, characters that aren’t shipped as much as they could be (Elyan, baby, you deserve better 😢), and then there are also characters that result in unsavory ships that are best left unmentioned (but because these are salty asks, I am going to mention them anyway).

The first one that came to my mind was Gaius, but he is actually very shippable because there is no rule that says you have to ship him in the canon timeline. He has a serious canon het love interest, and a crack one as well. Also, let’s not forget Uther. I’ve seen the fandom float this one as a crack ship, but it is actually very serious and plausible. There is so much complicated history there, decades of it, and definitely a deep, albeit toxic relationship that can absolutely be (and likely even was) sexual. If I was less busy and more inclined to get anon hate, I would totally be open to writing it myself.

I have seen a lot of people list Uther as an answer here, but Uther is very, very shippable! Anthony Head is handsome and charismatic, and he has so much presence as Uther, he could have chemistry with drywall if the script called for it. Again, there is no rule stating that a ship should be wholesome and happy, so let me go over the most obvious ones. When it comes to m/m ships, I already mentioned Gaius, plus I definitely felt it whenever the neighbouring kings came over to visit Camelot (my personal favourite was Lord Godwyn). Uther also has three canon het ships (why, yes, I am counting the troll), most notably Ygraine and Viivienne, and he is 100% shippable with Nimueh (though I prefer Nimueh with Ygraine). Last but not least, there is Morgana. It is squicky incest, yes, but it is also very obvious, if you have the inclination to go there. My jaw was on the floor on my first watch when he confessed that she was his actual biological daughter, because up until then, I totally thought that things would get sexual between them in canon.

Agravaine is also an obvious (I would even go as far as to say a semi-canon) ship for Morgana. Do I hate it? Yes. Do I think she slept with him to get him to deliver her Arthur’s head? Again, absolutely, yes. Even Kilgharrah is very shippable and he is a giant firebreathing lizard (obviously, laws of physics require transmorphing him into something smaller and (hopefully) human-shaped for the p0rn).

For The Untamed:

Jin Zixun and Jin Zixuan. I am forever mad Jin Zixuan (somehow) ends up having sex in canon anyway. My first thought for this was Wen Chao, but no, he is absolutely shippable. Like I said, the ship does not have to be nice, and Wen Chao is very nasty, but also very sexual (plus, there is always Wen Zhuliu).

The one character that I personally am the least inclined to ship is Wen Ning because he is so childlike and it feels like he never mentally developed into an adult.

Salty Asks

#salty asks #merlin #the untamed

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the-odd-job · 4 years ago

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When the Heart Is Yearning - Chapter 2: Kill or Be Killed

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death Category: General Fandom: Transformers > Merformers Characters: Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Bluestreak, Original Characters Relationships: None Additional Tags: Captivity, Captive Mers, Aquariums, Aliens, Alien Planet, Post-Partum, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Incest, Codependency, Hermaphrodites, Starvation, Self-Starvation, Drowning, Suicide, Injuries, Murder, Euthanasia, Hurt No Comfort, Graphic Emaciation, Forced Feeding, Minor Character Death Words for Chapter: 3913

This isn't much happier than the previous chapter. Again, please see the tags for warnings. And again, there is an image at the end, although it's not as... Bad as the previous one. In my opinion anyway.

This chapter also answers the question of "Why didn't they just return Sunstreaker when Sideswipe started to do so obviously craptastically without him?"

Enjoy.

The season had come. That meant the birth of the pups— his pups.

Their plan all along had been for him to be there, to help Sideswipe any way he could through the process.

The humans? They had other plans.

It was pointless to move him. Nothing would have happened this year. Maybe the next, sure, but not this one. Sideswipe had no potential as a mate when he was having pups.

He wasn’t too surprised the humans didn’t understand details like that, though. And he’d gotten protective of Sideswipe, hadn’t wanted the humans anywhere near him, or anywhere near the pups, once it was their time to arrive. He’d begun to act even more aggressive towards them than usual, and that was his downfall, the one thing that clouded his judgement and made him make the mistake of leaving the water for the satisfaction of seeing the humans flee the room.

They were ready for him. Sedated him, knocked him out cold.

He woke up in the smaller tank they sometimes moved him to.

He didn’t want to be there. He was supposed to be with Sideswipe, helping him, supporting him.

Making sure the humans did nothing to him.

He was so angry, at the humans, at himself for being so stupid. He should have stayed in the water. They wouldn’t have been able to remove him if he’d just stayed in the water. Both him and Sideswipe were too big, too unwieldy for that. They were safe in the water when they didn’t feel like cooperating with the humans’ whims.

Now Sideswipe was alone, just as Sunstreaker was alone, and he hated it with this whole being. Hated the humans for separating them, just like he always did. Didn’t they understand it only made things worse? Especially now.

Last year would’ve begged to differ.

Sunstreaker grit his teeth at that thought, hitting the solid walls of the tank with his fists. That thought wasn’t all wrong, was it? The debacle that whole thing had been… Maybe another year they would have preferred to be separated, just so the same wouldn’t repeat.

Just so he wouldn’t do that to Sideswipe all over again.

But not this year. Primus, not this year.

What did the humans care about what they wanted, though? They never had before, and he doubted they ever would. The humans did what they wanted to do, and fuck whether him and Sideswipe liked it or not, agreed with it or not. Wasn’t that the story of their lives?

And here they were again, in that same predicament, at the humans’ mercy, and not for the better in the slightest.

The season crawled on. Sunstreaker tried to bear it, and to his credit he was pretty sure he managed to hold onto his sanity through it, against all odds. Oh, the rage would have driven him into unspeakable violence if the humans had gotten close enough, he was sure of that, but they made sure to never give him the chance.

And the frustration meant his claws were filed down, the skin in his hands and tail rubbed into raw flesh from all the times he’d tried to air any of it by fruitlessly attacking the walls.

Yet he kept his mind together through all of it, in his own personal opinion.

And nothing lasts forever. The season didn’t, either, and once it ended… That was when Sunstreaker began to fervently wait for the time when they’d return him to the larger tank. Back to Sideswipe.

And to… His pups.

Their pups.

He was anxious to meet them. Nervous, excited. He wasn’t sure what to expect.

He just wanted back to Sideswipe, that was all. Let the rest flow as it did.

They didn’t move him right away. He should’ve expected it, but it still had him angsting all over again while he waited, impatient. Humans and their lack of clue of how anything worked… If the season wasn’t to drive him mad, that just might.

A few days after the season’s end they finally came for him. Sunstreaker shot out of the water, barely waiting for them to beckon him, unspeakably eager to just have these weeks torment over with and to get back home.

So he let them stick their needles into him and sedate him into unconsciousness all over again, his heart fluttering with happy anticipation.

Back to Sideswipe.

Back there to meet their little ones

--------------------------------------

He woke up. Or began to, anyway, but before any conscious thought even returned to him, he was already hit with the sense that something was wrong. Very wrong. As his senses and thoughts returned to him, he could slowly start to piece together the cause for that feeling.

The smells were all wrong. This wasn’t the scent of their usual tank. There wasn’t Sideswipe’s scent.

The background hum he could hear, he was sure that was different too. He couldn’t be imagining it when it struck such a chord of offness to his ear.

Maybe they’d decided to move them both into a bigger tank, to accommodate the arrival of the pups.

Then why couldn’t he get a single whiff of Sideswipe?

Then why didn’t it even smell like the aquarium they’d spent most of their lives in?

Sunstreaker was already moving long before he had any true control over his body, his mind desperate to wake up fully, to shake off the remnants of the sedation. His heart beat a mile a minute, a chant of no no no no dominating his sluggish thoughts.

He feared for the worst. He needed to wake up to find out it wasn’t so.

His eyes flew open, and Sunstreaker didn’t bother waiting for his vision to clear before he was already glancing around to the best of his ability.

It wasn’t their tank. It couldn’t be; even through the haze covering his eyes, everything looked different. The colors, the placement of things, those were all wrong.

Where was the water?

There.

Sunstreaker rolled onto his front laboriously, his arms shaking under his weight as he propped himself up.

He didn’t care. The water called him, and he dragged himself over to the edge of the pool to drop headfirst into the warm liquid.

There it didn’t matter if his coordination was all gone and if it took him an embarrassing amount of time to even figure out which way was up and align himself according to that knowledge.

It didn’t matter. He was in the water, he was safe, and where was Sideswipe?

His vision cleared too slowly, but when it did he could see another mer hanging further back. He was an ugly green, a real eyesore and Sunstreaker snarled the moment he saw him.

The stranger shrank back a little bit. Sunstreaker felt a surge of satisfaction that was immediately drowned out by everything else.

Anger. Mostly anger. Some fear.

Still that damned sense of wrongness, that was only fortified when he cast a wild glance around and couldn’t see Sideswipe.

But this tank wasn’t rectangular. The walls curved.

There was something behind the curve.

His body was barely ready to start cooperating, but Sunstreaker forced the issue and launched into motion, swimming to the bend as fast as he could.

And around it, to see what was on the other side.

More tank.

Not empty tank.

There was a red mer.

It wasn’t Sideswipe.

That was all he cared to know.

Sunstreaker turned around to swim along the wall, searching for any opening that would have led elsewhere, that could have hidden someone.

He swam the perimeter of the entire tank.

Nothing.

Nothing and no one but the two mers, one red, the other green.

Sunstreaker panted as he came to a stop along one wall, staring at it for a moment before he violently turned around to see the other two mers looking at him.

Keeping their distance.

Smart of them.

“Where the pit am I?” Sunstreaker hissed at them, his body vibrating from the force of his anger—fear.

Sideswipe wasn’t here.

Nothing was right.

“Uh… Here, but we… Don’t know where here is,” the green mer spoke up, voice apologetic.

Sunstreaker wasn’t surprised. When would any of them have had a way to find out where they were?

At the mercy of humans, that was all they would ever know.

It didn’t stop him from growling wordlessly, his vision discoloring into red, a ringing in his ears.

Without thought Sunstreaker charged, closing the distance between them before the two could react and ripping into the ugly green one. There was a pained, surprised wail, and red gushed into the water.

Satisfactory.

There was shouting from above the water even before he felt the red mer’s claws on him, all the reason he needed to abandon the green one that swam away, spooked, as soon as he was released.

He knew it wasn’t the other mers’ fault, that they were as much victims of circumstances as he was.

He didn’t give a damn.

The red one had more fight in him, and they tumbled in the water, exchanging hits and strikes until the humans’ unintelligible yells switched into loud orders.

Sunstreaker wouldn’t have cared in the slightest if the red mer hadn’t either, but the other did care, breaking away instantly and swimming as fast as his tail would allow him to towards the direction of the platform Sunstreaker had first awakened at.

Sunstreaker chased after him, intent on digging his claws back into his flesh, to bite into him and feel his blood pulse into his mouth.

He didn’t get the chance before both the green and red mers had reached the platform and hauled themselves out of the water.

Sunstreaker didn’t follow them. He’d made that mistake once, he wasn’t going to do it again.

Instead he turned around and went back to swimming along the curving walls of the tank—back to directing his aggression to the lifeless, careless walls at the cost of his own body.

His injuries throbbed, slashes and bitemarks puffing blood into the water around him. It was tainted with clouds of red all around the pool. Everything stank of it and fear.

He raged, heedless of the fact the two mers never returned to the water.

The lights dimmed and turned off.

The anger still consumed him.

------------------------------------

They left him there, alone. This time Sunstreaker wasn’t so sure he held onto his sanity. His thoughts rang with the one single question— where was Sideswipe? —and he feared with all of his heart he already knew the answer.

That Sideswipe was still back at home.

That Sideswipe wasn’t here and never would be.

Did they have it in them? Separate them? Even when it was apparent Sideswipe had had his pups?

Or was it because he’d had his pups? Was this some sick idea of a punishment?

Was it in any way proportional to the crime committed? One that they had driven them into?

He wanted to ask how they could possibly do this to them, but this was the humans. Was there anything they wouldn’t do? Humiliate them until they had no pride or dignity left, abuse them, drive them into rape, incest, separate them when they didn’t like the results of what they had caused them to do.

Anger. He barely knew anything else anymore. The injustice of it all burned at him and kept his emotions from ever cooling down, made sure his thoughts stayed shackled to that singular topic.

And the fact Sideswipe was out there, most likely alone, with his pups.

His pups. He had the right to see them! To meet them....

Even just once. Even just enough to say goodbye.

Find some closure.

What good would that have done, though? Closure or not, he could’ve never, ever accepted having Sideswipe taken from him. They’d always been together, and they were supposed to always be together.

They were all they’d ever had.

Now the humans had taken everything from him, hadn’t they? His freedom, his happiness, his rights.

His brother.

Fury consumed him. He swore revenge.

He swore he would still be reunited with Sideswipe, whether the humans liked it or not.

One way or another.

He’d find a way even if it took the rest of his lifetime.

By Primus, he would find a way.

-----------------------------------

The humans were careful around him. Very careful after what he’d done to his “tankmates” whose names he’d never even learned. He didn’t think either of them had died from their injuries—Sunstreaker sure hadn’t—but for their own safety he doubted the humans would return them to the tank.

So he was alone with his thoughts, his anger.

He was still fed, the humans bothered to do that much even if they were careful to never come within his reach. His injuries started to heal, slowly, although he’d barely felt them in the first place.

Days passed.

He plotted, thought of all the ways things could go.

Thought of all the ways he could make things go horribly wrong. For them.

Kill them all.

Two or three weeks, before the humans finally entered the platform again.

They called him over and Sunstreaker went, calmly, as if he wasn’t already revisiting his plans for the best way to end as many of them as he could. There were five of them present.

He likely couldn’t get them all, as slow as he was on land, but even just two would be good.

He climbed out of the water with no sign of aggression, and waited, still and calm, until three of them approached. They did so carefully, but gained some more confidence the longer he spent without showing any signs of acting out.

He let them touch him, took their orders without a fight. Played along in their little game.

Bided his time.

He waited all the way until they were already done with him and turned their backs to him. He took that second to act, reaching out to grab one of the humans. The ones further off shouted a warning.

Too late.

His claws dug into the human and he turned around as quickly as he could, adding the momentum into a sweep of his tail and slamming it into the two other humans.

He would have loved to see what he achieved with that, but he had to be fast before any of them recovered from their shock. He threw the human in his grasp into the water and followed as quickly as he could.

Water was his element.

It was not the humans’ element.

The one unfortunate enough to be trapped there with him tried desperately to swim back to the edge of the pool, to climb out to safety.

Sunstreaker didn’t give them the chance.

He grabbed the human mid escape and dove, dragging them with him to the bottom of the tank. His claws sank into their flesh, digging deep furrows where he held them tight. Red bled into the water all over again, but he didn’t kill them like that.

Only made them hurt.

He let time do the killing. Humans couldn’t breathe underwater.

It would run out of oxygen.

So Sunstreaker waited some more, watching with glee as the human started to struggle against his hold more and more desperately. It started to change color as the seconds dragged on into minutes. It turned absolutely wild in his grasp.

Oh, how the mighty fell.

Eventually it couldn’t deny its pathetic body anymore and gasped, pulling a rush of water straight into its lungs.

And humans, they didn’t have an easy way to get that water back out.

They were so poorly suited to aquatic life it was laughable on a planet that was mostly covered in water.

He drowned it. Without hesitation, without mercy he held onto it until he was sure it was dead and there was no chance it would make a sudden recovery.

Then he bit into it, tearing off the garments it wore until he had uninterrupted access to its meat.

And he ate it. There, at the bottom of the tank, he feasted on the flesh of his sworn enemy. Just one of them for now, but he promised the world at large that there would be more.

He wouldn’t rest before all of them had been made to pay for what they had done to them.

It was all for Sideswipe.

-----------------------------------

Again there was a long spell where the humans didn’t dare to approach him, but the weird power trip they got from ordering his kind around eventually won over their caution.

They called him to the platform again, and he went, although this time none of them dared come within his reach.

He was still given orders, but from a distance. They tossed his damn rewards to him from there.

It made his blood boil, his breath coming in shallow puffs that was easy to mistake for the way their breathing was already nothing but desperate panting on land.

He followed their orders for a while, just to make sure they weren’t expecting anything. Laid down, rose back up, arched his back, lifted his tail, turned over, did this, did that as they wanted him to.

Until he couldn’t keep himself waiting any longer.

At that moment, in a motion that could have been merely him falling into another order, he lunged at the closest human. They didn’t have the time to get out of his way. His claws sank into them to a bloody spray that landed on his skin as a warm shower, like the rain he hadn’t felt in years.

They never stood a chance. He ripped them open like the pig they were, and there was nothing any of them could do to stop him.

The others yelled, but when he dropped the dead bag of flesh and turned his attention to them, they were all quick to leave the scene. Satisfaction surged in his chest.

It was nowhere near enough to wash away the burn of anger, the hate-

But it was a step in the right direction.

It didn’t cure the fact he missed Sideswipe to the point his heart bled-

But it was a step in the right direction.

--------------------------------------------------

He spent that night awake, the rush of the kill making sleep elude him. He sat at the bottom of the tank, staring upward in the dark, lightless water.

And he thought.

Of Sideswipe, mostly. Wondered how he was doing. Sideswipe had always been the more sensitive of them, the one who took things harder. They both needed companionship as any mer would, but Sideswipe was the one who had needed comfort more. Sunstreaker had been happy to provide it, most of the time.

But he knew he had a temper, and sometimes it got the better of him. He’d made Sideswipe hurt.

They’d always made up, though. Even… Last year, with everything that had gone down-

The way Sideswipe had subtly shied away from him since-

He was sure they could have fixed that with time, as well. Being there for him when the pups came would have been the start.

Now that wasn’t to be.

He couldn’t wait for the day when he’d see Sideswipe again. Maybe it would still be in a tank. He would take even that.

But he held onto hope that it would, instead, be in the wild. Maybe they would run into each other in a Gathering, joyous to see each other again. Join the same pods, raise pups that weren’t each other’s, in a world where no one could come between them again. Be happy, as they had been during the first few months of their lives, before the humans had come and taken it all from them.

He didn’t know how to get back there, back where they were supposed to be, but there had to be a way.

He couldn’t let this be all there was.

-----------------------------------------------

The humans came again the next day. Sunstreaker didn’t go investigate right away, but he heard them making noises at each other from where he was at the other side of the pool.

He wasn’t sure how many more times he could get away with taking their worthless lives before they wisened up, but he would try as many times as he could.

As many times as it took to satisfy his need for revenge.

They hadn’t paid anywhere near enough yet.

He wasn’t sure how long he waited, swimming back and forth at the end of the pool, before they called him over once again. And he went there, but… Certainly they would expect him to do something, by now.

Something violent, something bloody.

So instead of approaching slowly and as if he wasn’t going to do anything, Sunstreaker accelerated, pressing through the water only to jump out of it and onto the platform with speed. He wouldn’t catch any of them by being slow and patient about it this time around, he was sure of that.

Maybe something faster would work.

The humans yelled something as he shot through the air and landed well beyond the edge of the platform. They tried to get out of his way, clearly not having expected him to get so far, so soon.

They were too slow.

His jaws clamped down on the shoulder of one unfortunate human that had nearly gotten crushed under his bulk. They cried out. From the corner of his eye he could see one human cocking something he’d never seen before, taking aim at him.

He grabbed a hold of the human fighting against his hold with one hand only to bite them again while they were unable to escape-

The other human fired, a shot of something hitting him in the shoulder-

His teeth sank into their neck. Their head nearly fell off from the amount of flesh that was lost with that single attack.

His mind was slowing down, thoughts clouding-

Sunstreaker dropped the dead body and instead reached to his shoulder, plucking out whatever the human had shot him with.

Fuck, he was so tired-

A small cylindrical container of some sort, with a needle at one end.

His arms were shaking-

Sunstreaker threw the offending object away with a snarl before his arm gave out under the weight of his upper body and he crashed onto the floor in one undignified heap.

It was getting so hard to move-

He fought the sedative—because that was all it could be—for as long as he could. His thoughts turned to mush, his body stopped responding, but he fought the black creeping at the edges of his vision.

The humans watched on, keeping their distance as the threat he was slowly died away. He’d be helpless while under. At their mercy all over again.

He wondered what they would do. He wished with all his heart it would be to move him back to Sideswipe, that he could abandon his campaign of destruction and be instead the brother Sideswipe deserved, the sire the pups deserved.

Sunstreaker held tightly onto that thought as the last of the tension left his body and he slumped against the floor.

He held onto that thought, that hope, as the black finally overwhelmed him and pulled him under-

Never to know he never would never awaken again.

Oh, how the mighty fell.

'Cause I can't believe This is how the story ends Fight for me If it's not too late Help me breathe again No, this can't be how the story ends

—Kerrie Roberts - Rescue Me (How the Story Ends)

-----------------------------

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2

#merformers #maccadams #sunstreaker #sideswipe #captivecest mers #fic #2020

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a-writing-bear · 5 years ago

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[AmeriPan] Chapter 3: The ‘Hell on Earth’ Task Agency

Ao3 Link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13286367/chapters/56767471#workskin

This Has been cross-posted onto FF & Ao3 under Aliases: BearBooper

You can read this Fic on Tumblr under ‘Keep Reading’ But it is not formatted as well as the AO3 version.

Previous Chapter

Fandom: Hetalia Axis Powers

Main Pairing: Alfred F. Jones & Kiku Honda (America & Japan)

AU: Demon AU/HellTaskAgency!AU - Demon!America & Businessman!Japan

Age Rating/Mature: Teen And Up Audiences (12+ due to mentions of mature themes as well as swearing)

Trigger Warnings: Mention of Incest ( no actual incest, it is only mentioned out of disgust), Joking about murder.

“I really...should get back to my co-workers…” Kiku gulped, side-eyeing the aggressive yet patient look that Mr Zwingli was sending. “I just wanted to say sorry for bumping into you this morning. I hope you moved in okay…” Lord, Kiku internally cringed at his own words- why was he even saying sorry? He could have just ignored the 2 and just…

“I do hope zoning out isn’t a hobby of yours Mr Kiku- it doesn’t seem like something your coworkers would appreciate” - Al had gotten a little bit too close to his personal bubble and the Japanese man could do nothing but look away from that dazzling smirk that seemed to be too pretty not to notice. Confused and frustrated with what must be his social ineptness, Kiku shuffled backwards before awkwardly bowing and retreating hastily to his table.

“You’re trying to corrupt him, not kill the damn thing with social awkwardness Al.” Matthew sipped on some coffee as he gazed away, Gilbert now leaning an arm around him also snivelling after Alfred’s performance. “Oh shut it. Not like you’re doing so well with ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ over there huh-”

“First off, they are siblings , I would really hate to have a Bonnie Clyde situation- incest was not in the brief. Secondly, we both know we’re going to get a job near them regardless of what we do so it was worth a shot. Zwingli’s suspicious cus he’s paranoid. He’s human .” The last word was thrown out with such disgust, despite the fact Gilbert had affectionately been poking at Matthew’s extremely cherubic cheeks; their human forms really did not aid Matthew in his grunting monologue. Alfred knew Mattie must have been bitter at the blatant disregard that Zwingli man gave him, for he had been more willing to ‘try’ the whole human thing before.

“You two need to calm down. Humans are easy, they’ll commit some crime by themselves. We just have to watch them and make sure it's a crime that will help us all. Wouldn’t that be awesome.” Before Alfred could pitch in some remark the senior demon stood up after planting a very chaste yet meaningful kiss to Matthew’s cheek and stroking his hair; “I should probably go I have another soul on my schedule today- later birdie, and good luck to you southerner- make sure you don’t get too involved with your charge.” and just like that he up and left. Confused by the strangely intimate gestures between his brother and a most revered senior he searched for an explanation on Matthew’s disgruntled glare.

“We just... really...really know each other. It’s nothing.” Alfred could barely wiggle his eyebrows at the perverse confession before his brother sent him a death glare almost as bad as the time they started that plague in Marseille a few centuries ago. He dropped it and continued to idly watch his victim from a distance, it seemed like Kiku Honda was much too occupied in the droning of that Swiss financier to notice him back- Al pouted; ah he could always wait till Monday to play with his meal.

Kiku had tried to pay attention. He really did. It was just hard when he could feel the stare of that American on him so strongly. Did he not know manners? It was rude to stare. The thoughts of the blonde hair only burst when the little girl that sat beside him coughed, searching for some attention.

“Mr Honda. I believe my brother asked you a question. Dubel …” at that last murmur said brother tutted Lili- Although he did not know what exactly had been said in their Swiss, Kiku gathered it must have been some snide remark.

“Of..of course. Yes, it is quite unfortunate trade has made tech a bit difficult but there’s not much I can do about it, Mr Zwingli. except ask for you to balance out the pay and help me scram for something.” The industry was struggling with so much saturation and the recent embargoes and trade tension between China and the US had not made it any easier. Zwingli huffed, sharing the same feeling of disappointment as Kiku.. but after a glance at his sister and flickering between his coffee and the tie of his associate, Vash leaned in and mentioned under his breath:

“You know Kiku... Yao’s been quite overzealous with his penny pinching...generous with his escapades and vacations. You’ve been slaving away quite a bit in comparison…” he paused before whispering even more. “Doesn’t seem right for the right-hand man to be fed at the feet like a dog..” Kiku tensed, suddenly his throat felt dry and a little bit of anger clouded his mind- he was not the only one who recognised the dubious actions of his childhood friend it seemed.

“What- how much is Yao stacking to himself?” Zwingli shrugged nonchalantly, again avoiding Kiku’s eyes as if he had not just admitted to possibly traitorous gossip- the Swiss man turned his head to eye that Matthew boy again, letting Kiku deal with the folder that Lili had unceremoniously slid onto the table in front of them. Give him time to view the damage. Nervously, but with some fiery fingers, the short man opened the folder, ripping it up as if it contained the secrets of the world- if it explained the month shortcomings then perhaps it was the whole world. Kiku’s face went through a tremendous hurricane of negative emotions- disbelief, disrepair and complete fury...and sudden absolute blankness.

“I see.” Humming away in agreement, Vash spoke with his eyes still trained on Matthew on the other table: “Reasons I don’t work with childhood friends.” For some absurd reason, Mr Honda could not stop himself from trying to rationalise or reason on behalf of traitor:

“Yao was reasonable growing up, I have always trusted him- it's like how you are with Ms Lili-”

“Lili would stab me in the back if she knew I was costing us a fortune. At least I hope she would. I taught her well enough. Siblings don’t owe you anything, and friends most certainly don’t.” to that Lili preened, as if a child is praised for cleaning her room, not at the analogy of betraying her own kin. Kiku brewed in his own discomfort and the revelation for a short while before Zwingli cut in once again.

“You know much about those two?” the businessman nudged his head motioning to Kiku’s new neighbours. He shook his head and spoke the truth of knowing just as much as his partner did. “There’s something about them. I don’t know how to explain it.”

Lili’s voice, soft like a bird chimed in, “They are quite easy on the eyes brother.” and just as she uttered the words the two brother

Zwingli only scoffed in response and sipped his near cold coffee. That was not what bothered him.

“That Zwingli dude’s been staring at us.” Alfred tried to play it cool and look subtle in her observation. Matthew had gotten a magazine and was doing much better at the covert spying.

“No shit sherlock. He was looking at me like he wanted me roasted on a spit.”

“If you play your cards right maybe he will roast someone else. Get your work done quickly ya know.” Alfred grinned as his brother rolled his eyes. The two got up and headed out to explore earth’s delights, before the back and forth ogling got too suspicious to warrant a restraining order. Tomorrow the two had to go down to Hell and pop into Arthur’s office just to report on how they’ve settled.

“Do you Artie could tamper with my form a bit? I don’t know if I dig the whole classic American boy next door thing going on; being stuck in this for the next 200 years is just a bit dull.” Matthew huffed as they entered their apartment, the afternoon had already faded into a quiet evening.

“Ask him yourself. I was planning on going down tonight and staying there till Monday, to save me from dealing with human night cycles for a bit…”

“Already sick of human life?” Al sniggered before aiding his brother in positioning their candles on the floor in the trademark pentagram and conjuring up a rough but secure portal to their real abode. The walls of their earthly apartment crumbled as the two were engulfed in a blaze of bright and deadly flame. It was a quick half-second that they appeared in the glorious office of their higher up Arthur.

“Bloody hell, must you two always show up with the foulest stench? Clean up before you blast in” The demon with his huge grey wings cringed at his desk from the lingering odour of humans that had clung to Alfred and Matthew, that had invaded his office. Al shrugged, already past the stink of mortal life, and sauntered forward towards his boss.

“When were you gonna tell me Gil is a district manager up top huh?”

“It was in the case of file imbecile. and Matthew told me it would not interfere with your jobs- have you already screwed it up Matt-”

“Fuck off. Alfred just doesn’t read his crap.” Arthur’s brows were raised in surprise- Matthew, despite being a demon, had always been more diplomatic and civil compared to the lot of them.

“Ignore him, he’s bitter about the whole job transfer thing. Anyway, I know it all just began but when can we be transferred back to the patrol division- I already take back what I said about it being boring.” Arthur shot him a pestered look before reminding the pair that the contract would last for 200 years.

“I suppose it could be shortened though...the morality and ethics department have been missing dear old Mattie; it's not the same torturing people when you can’t use moralistic irony on them.” Matthew’s disdain snapped to sudden interest- he would do anything to get out the mess Alfred had gotten them into; he’d sell his soul if he had one. Alfred, on the other hand, was fiddling with some skulls that Arthur had been using as a paperweight as his brother negotiated terms to lower their sentence on earth.

“If you can finish your research, then I’ll get Francis to draft you guys back down here. Alfred will still be on suspension and on the petty crime division but back in hell nonetheless.” satisfied with such terms the 3 shook on it, signing a secondary contract that sizzled up into an invisible seal of demonic promise the moment the pen lifted off the scroll.

“I can’t keep playing favourites with you two, I’ve got other creatures on my payroll. I’m expecting Armageddon level chaos up there. No take-backs, and when I see the papers I want the murder to be fantastically gruesome and that company to be reeking of corporate greed- enough for the big man himself to come to knock by our offices. I need a fucking bonus down here..the newer recruits are all too wimpy to carry out real torture. Now go. The real work starts Monday” Arthur shooed them, flicking some invisible force that pushed them out of his office doors and into the hot underworld.

“Well I’m gonna stop M&E and witness the new sinners, everyone keeps saying the new wave of demons are inefficient. I won’t be back till we have to go back up top.” Matthew had already begun cracking his neck and stretching his spine as he grew out his dark maroon wings, faux-human form melting away as he began fluttering off into the distance. Alfred kicked the dust at his feet before stretching his arms with a bored yawn- his wings unfurled with a puff and he picked at his re-emerged fangs with complete monotony. Perhaps he should pay to those seedier creatures that lurked near his den around this time. Just as he made his way to his den, he saw some scuffling of some frazzled looking fledgeling- the tail of the little thing curling in panic.

“Hey. Why ya lurking around someone else's territory runt? Go back to your own nest..” the little thing had the tiniest wings, scruffy black feather with yellowish flecks that reminded him of Arthur. In fact, the hair on the top of the premature hell-raiser was reminiscent of his boss so much that it could not have been a coincidence. Oh, hell had Arthur pumped out another batch of fledgelings? Crap that guys ancient there’s like no way he’s got so much-

“Are you Alfred?” the thing squeaked out, some confidence spilling over as it turned to face Alfred's chest straight. Al decided to entertain the creature, he had nothing better to do till Monday anyway. Before he could finish nodding the creature jumped into a salute and yelled the most idiotic thing Al could ever imagine.

“COULD YOU SMUGGLE ME UP TOP?”

Just how dumb were the new fledgelings these days? Hell' has really gone down the drain...

#hetalia #america #hws america #hws japan #hetalia world stars #APH America #aph japan #america x japan #hws #Hetalia Fanfiction #alternate universe #demon!au #heta #multichapter #hetalia fandom #fanfc #fanfiction

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ralfstrashcan · 6 years ago

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3x20 Reaction / Commentary

I wonder why, considering it wasn't hard at all. They barely had a plan and even had time to include some personal drama in their fight. Wtf. The only thing I can imagine why no one ever managed to kidnap her before is because no one wanted to have a hostage as irritating as the seelie queen.

Hahahahahaha hilarious. Also, lol, no I'm choosing not to think of the implications because they are TOO DISTURBING, YOU HEAR ME @intezaarlily XD XD XD

HAHAHA I CAN'T THE WAY SHE PETULANTLY SHAKES HER HEAD

I mean, compelling argument. And very fitting since we learned from that Lilith Debacle that the Shadowhunters' go to solution for everything and anything is torture. But what I find way more interesting is that we finally get a good look at the side of the seelie queen's crown.

's pretty.

There's so much to unpack in this scene. Which I'm gonna do, in excruciating detail. In a relationship analysis post thingy, not here, because time and space reasons. Just know that this scene is absolutely amazing, their facial expressions and gestures, and of course the pretzel. Dammit, so amazing. Can't wait to fawn over it all.

I'm with Meliorn on this one. Just because Lanaia committed a violation of the Accords (yes, on behalf of the seelie queen but the shadowhunters have no way of knowing that and I guess Meliorn wasn't stupid enough to tell them that) doesn't mean Clary can violate the Accords back and go unpunished. That's not how a legal system works. It's clear that with this whole operation the shadowhunters valued Clary's life over that of however may seelie guards' it would have taken to keep Jace's cover and get Clary back. I bet you Alec is aware of that and that's why he has that pinched look on his face the whole time. And while he argues pro shadowhunter side with that injection about Lanaia and he tries to placate Meliorn, he noticable doesn't try to justify Jace's actions at all, and whenever Jace does, Alec closes his eyes as if he's thinking “Dude don't you realize that's not an argument.”

And then he just wants to leave???? Hahaha creep

HAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD COMEDIC GOLD. The way he delivers that line I can't!!! The way he says “naturrrrrr” hahaha delicious.

Uh if that's the smartest move? Who knows what kind of kinky shit Meliorn will demand in return?? I mean, just look at his smirk. Also, in case this doesn't get addressed again this is such a ficlet waiting to be written lol.

The way Alec immediately starts almost-crying when someone mentions Magnus pulls on my heartstrings. Fragile darling boy.

I mean, I'm pretty sure Alec carrying the ring around in his pocket was for meta reasons so he could give it to Maryse in their only scene together, but dammmnnn the in universe implications. Ouch.

I'm really going to miss this XD

“My” door??? My ass.

“Alec and I are no longer.”

lsjfkasdjflksdjfsdjflskdjf I CAN'T HAHAHHAAH HIS FACE

Hahahahha please Lorenzo stop, I feel like I shouldn't be laughing so much XD Isn't this episode supposed to be Super Dramatic? I'm actually having the time of my life so far XD

XD XD XD XD XD

Okay and now I'm back to rage because wtf!!!! So Magnus is aware that Lorenzo's jurisdiction is limited and tiny, why didn't he remember that literally anytime before this, for example in 3x10?? Just imagine it, if Magnus had done that fancy ritual thingy he wouldn't have even needed to trade his magic away. Oh right, problem identified. There wouldn't have been some Prime Drama if he'd behaved like a sensible person. Ugh.

The way Lorenzo's face falls upon hearing Asmodeus is priceless. But, uh, important question, how the hell does he know Asmodeus's face? Or does he identify him by his powers? Then again he failed identifying Asmodeus's power signature before already (3x02) so uuhhhh I need answers.

Magnus Bane, finally enjoying the Draco Malfoy Way Of Life. I mean, that's not really rebutting Lorenzo's claim. The opposite, in fact. Also wtf does Lorenzo have for nerves to say that to Asmodeus's face???

So this is not common warlock practice. Thanks for clarifying. Also, look at Asmodeus's smug face when Magnus references Edom hahaha #ProudDad

THE SASS HAHAHA (btw for a moment I was worried he'd turnd him into a plastic lizard until it moved haha)

Also this means, the person Magnus trashes later in the loft with the whips, as seen in the promo, is Asmodeus?? Because he learns of his deal with Alec?? Or tbh, I've been entertaining the thought that it's Alec ahahaha

Also, Asmodues saying “When they hear about what?” has the same energy as Loki saying “I'm listening” in Avengers 1.

Yeah I still have questions about that. But sure, whatever. Then again, if Jordan is so long-fingered he could start a career as pickpocket. Sounds like a stable income job to me.

See, the problem here is that this isn't fixing any of Maia's problems. Apart from the fact that currently she has no problems to fix as far as I'm concerned (the dead pack won't be miraculously resurrected if she becomes human) her issues with her family aren't due to her being a werewolf. She's adjusted to her life as a werewolf and if you ask me, she's grown to love it and she doesn't want to go back. Hell, she wanted to become alpha. She's working on building her own pack now. Someone who hates being a werewolf wouldn't do that. Very obviously, his line of reasoning makes sense for Jordan because he can't forgive himself for turning and abandoning Maia, which he views as ruining her life. So by reversing it he could finally start to atone for what he did. Perfectly ic, but very frustrating because as I pointed out, this won't benefit Maia in any way, it'll just create drama between the two of them. (And frankly, while I moderately care about both of them, I'd rather have Malec on my screen. Sue me.)

Uh-huh, so some werewolf praetor spy with binoculars saw that Jordan stole the vial from the Institute but Izzy and Simon, who were literally in the same room didn't. No questions, your honor. Also ngl, since I knew this scene from the sneak peek already and couldn't care less about Luke's stupid Praetor plotline I skipped this scene XD #sorry not sorry

I know a lot of people were relieved Clary didn't make out with Jonathan and I'm honestly so surprised why people would assume in the first place there was any risk for that. Despite the Evil Rune taking hold she's still aware of her feelings, for example her love for Jace etc. So why would she suddenly be into incest?

Hehehehe the likelyhood of Asmodeus getting trashed in that loft is growing XD (Also please appreciate how I'm keeping my salt about Maryse's “I love you” under wraps, I'm amazed at my self restraint.)

I mean, I was really surprised by a character actually taking action, trying their hand at communication like this. I am impressed. The thing that I slightly dislike is that it's Maryse. She didn't have all the info about the deal Alec made with Asmodeus and a) Izzy had and I really, really expected her to do something about that instead of just letting Alec wreck his life and, to a good part, Magnus's as well, and b) if even Maryse, without even knowing for sure that Magnus's magic returned after Alec broke up with him, could put two and two together, why the hell didn't Magnus??

I can half buy that with his issues and insecurites striking harder than ever, amplyfied by the severe grief of his magic loss, he'd fall for Alec's lies because to him Alec loving him the way he did was too good to be true anyway, and their relationship wasn't long enough for Magnus to really get used to the idea that he gets to keep this. It's obvious in the way he always keeps his eyes closed after they kiss, this moment of disbelieve that this is actually real. So Alec breaking up with him wouldn't be an unreastic thing, it would be reality finally catching up with them, it'd be the universe rightening itself.

But, I only half buy it. Because even if Magnus had doubts about himself and his worth, how the hell could he revisit all those memories in 3x19 where Alec was dropping wedding vows left and right, and not realize that something about Alec was off there. Anyway, dwelling on this is pointless because what's done is done, but it's a very weak explanation and very convenient, story telling wise.

Hahahha love me some common sense. Maia has tons of it. Makes her so likable.

Listen, I like Jordan, but I can't even feel any sympathy in the face of all this stupidity. Just take the frakkin vial yourself, idiot. Humans don't die from silver poisoning. And it's clear that you're struggling with your werewolf-dom to hell and back. This would literally solve all of their problems wtf. But God forbid anyone ever act reasonable on this show. Goddammit.

Hahahha so rude. *Loki Voice* WHO PUT HIM THERE??? Another missing scene ficlet dying to be written XD Also, does Lorenzo still have his consciousness or was his mind reduced to that of a lizard? Will it be restored when he's transformed back? Is that even possible or was that transformation irreversible? Will he remember his time as a lizard? Or is Lorenzo as we know and love to hate him gone forever? So many questions.

Bitch you didn't, you had to be TOLD

I find it amazing that Asmodues tries to argue with Magnus even though his evil plan was uncovered. He really doesn't get it, does he? That Magnus likes his life and doesn't want to be in Edom?

I am reeling. What a frikkin powermove, disposing of him like that, and with his own invention no less. Talk about a dead ass capable character who could trash everyone in his way. Honestly I'm still processing. This is so radical wtf. So I'm never gonna get another scene with Asmodeus?? Please I wanted more of them!! I am so helplessly in love with their dynamic. 5 bucks say he was supposed to come back in S4 I WAS SO DEPRIVED OH GOD!!!!!

Edit: Yeah, this was actually supposed to be a setup for a Dark!Magnus plotline, with Asmodeus playing a big role in S4. They changed that and cut this short, here's the article I got this from. We were so robbed. I can't.

“Hurry, away from this Shadowhunter Nonsense. Honestly, that they can never solve their shit issues in their own fugly ass Institute but have to do it on our beautifully groomed frontyard. The disrespect.”

WOW IZZY'S WEARING FLAT SHOES FOR THE OCCASION CAN YOU BELIEVE IT

Also that fighting is awesome and all (Alec as a tactical advantage, Jace “betraying” his position as a ploy, color me impressed) but doesn't Clary have to stab Jonathan for it to work?? Or is it enough if one of the bondmates is stabbed with the sword?? And since Fake Glorious is super instable etc. and will likely be destroyed in the process they shouldn't take any chances and make sure it really works the first time around.

I get that this is supposed to be dramatic but sorry, I don't buy for one second that 3 Months Shadowhunter Newby Clary manages to get one over Izzy who's been literally trained since birth (yeah that was a quote from Arthur because I'm total Merlin Trash) and she's their best fighter ever and could beat Jace and Alec at the same time with the flick of a wrist while blindfolded. Please. Oh my god. Maybe because she always fights with her whip she's not too used to a sword. Then again she also uses a staff and she still was trained since birth so no, I'm still not buying it.

Hahahahah nice one, Simon.

“That's my plan, you can bet on it, bet on it, bet on it....”

why I mean, this was a conscious choice on producers' part, right. So I'm demanding an explanation. What's the point of this weirdly edited grunt?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA SAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Hm, they don't fold too nicely. But all in all, pretty solid wing work.

?????? This makes no sense since, prior to this half season, he wasn't tethered to Clary. Wtf. For all intents and purposes, Jonathan should be dropping dead to the ground since he was using Clary's life force to be alive, remember, he was literally killed to death before. Only their bond was keeping him alive. This makes no sense whatsoever. But anyway, that was a pretty impressive departure.

Yeah, how about you get the f outta there now, Simon.

H-e-a-l-i-n-g r-u-n-e. Honestly. Wtf.

Also, Izzy pushing Simon to the ground was a little stupid, he could have vampire-run out of the explosion's perimeter easily. If he had a few brain cells. Okay, problem identified, I take everything back, Izzy made the right call.

And I guess Alec's just chilling over there on the forrest ground. He deserves that break, man.

Just force it down Jordan's throat omg. If he still dies, whatever, good for him, he got what he wanted. If not then he can maybe start facing his Maia-shaped issues in a constructive way.

Maia giving it to Luke makes no sense. How the f does he want to “get rid of it” wtf. If I were Maia I'd just pour it in the river or idk, burry it somewhere. Lock it in a safe, throw away the key. Or better yet, keep an eye on it. But sure, Luke who just learned the Praetor are full of shit is gonna give it to them?? I mean, the thought must have crossed his mind that maybe they didn't heal Jordan as a punishment for failing that Heidi mission? Since apparently it's common werewolf knowledge that the Praetor is able to cure a silver poisoning? Jordan wouldn't have said that if they didn't have a cure for it, right? If Luke honestly gives them that vial, he'll be dead to me. I fully expect him to try and blackmail the Praetor with it or something, but if he doesn't istg.

You're on thin effing ice, man.

Aahhhhh yeah how very convenient. Also rude, they stole Jonathan's home :C Also technically she shouldn't be able to do that because it's demon travel and she no longer has a connection to demon blood.

Yeah and they also steamrolled whatever room was there before they parked that big ass apartment there. Congrats.

“You barely got your licence to drive a car, much less whatever that was.”

hahahaha

ALEC'S FACE HAHAHAHAHA I LOVE ONE 100% DONE MAN

Hell yeah logic!! But lol I genuinely don't think Jace or Simon thought of that when they were unhelpfully patting her back.

.........? How is Simon there then? This isn't even sarcasm, I genuinely don't get it.

This was cute and all, but she didn't actually activate her iratze wtf. Or wash off her blood.

Dude wtf Maia

I mean come on, this is so obvious to top off their drama.

Yep, I called it. Seriously, you don't leave a person on the brink of death alone for literally this reason. And before you tell me she was just getting some food to lighten the mood from her way back from the bridge, there was still tons of daylight then and this is at least several hours later. I am sorry, but I feel zero sympathy.

1) Where do those surviving werewolves besides Bat come from? 2) What does mundane police have to say about this public cremation? 3) I remember this shot of Maia walking away from the fire from the 3B Trailer. So rude.

ALSO I'M MORE THAN READY FOR SOME MALEC CONTENT WTF MAN

NO. NO I DO NOT BUY. EITHER THE WINGS ARE STILL THERE OR HIS JACKET IS RIPPED TO PIECES BUT YOU DON'T GET TO PRETEND THEY MAGICALLY APPEAR ON TOP OF HIS CLOTHES WTF He's not Miley Cyrus from that one music video. (Can't be Tamed, if you're wondering.)

0 bucks say he caught them making out, honestly this was so obvious.

This rang deep. Really great moment. I can't really put it into words, but this had such an impact. A real warrior feel to it. Amazing.

“No obviously we don't but c'mon, work with me here.”

I can't possibly put into words the love I'm feeling for one (1) extra warlock.

He finally got it. My poor murderous incest baby. Too bad this means Clary lost her only bargaining chip.

NOOOO IT'S NOT, YOU WERE RAISED BY VAL IN A HUT AND THEN LIVED AT THE NY INSTITUE, THE ONLY TIME YOU VISITED ALICANTE WAS OWL'ED OUT OF YOUR MIND TO KILL IMOGEN WHAT THE HELL HAHAHA

I love how he delivers this line. It's his goodbye because there's no making it out of there alive, and the last thing of importance he has to say is a love confession to Clary. Very nice delivery.

ahahahahah okay this was a nice echoing of Jace's other love confession, but all I could focus on was how frakkin red Clary's hand is hahaha

I love everything about this, okay. I love how Alec just gives in because he couldn't stand to be apart from Magnus for one more second. I love how this is reminiscent of their first kiss at Alec's fail wedding. (Btw can you believe we're gonna start and end Malec with a kiss at a wedding and a wedding kiss? The poetry.) I love the backdrop, the absolute destruction. Love Izzy in her rightful place in the first row since she's the Captain of the MS Malec.

I really appreciate that they bothered with an explanation why Magnus needs to go to Edom at all, but, uh, if memory serves right he closed a rift to Edom in 2x19 and it was no big deal. I'd buy that this rift is larger or more powerful because it was created by the Morgenstern Sword but just because I can find an explanation that this task is harder than one Magnus already accomplished onscreen with relative ease doesn't mean it's not the Show’s duty to deliver an explanation of its own accord instead of letting fans pick through their worldbuilding and figuring out something that makes sense. A simple “You closed rifts before, from Earth.” - “This rift is too large” would have been enough. Is that too much to ask.

GOD MAGNUS WHY THAT WORDING I HAD TO THINK OF LORENZO WTF MAN WHY YOU MAKE ME THINK OF LORENZO WHHHYYYYYYYY

When he lifted his hand in that slow deliberate move I was SO SURE HE'D BE WEARING THE LIGHWOOD RING HAHAHA

HAHAHA THAT WAS CLEARLY NOT THE FUGLY LIGHTWOOD FAMILY RING (since that has a square shape on top, come on) YES I STAN A FASHION ICON

Btw there's a description in those rings, I can't really tell, but the one on the right looks like a loopy A upside down so I'm guessing one has “Alexander” and the other “Magnus” on the inside????

Edit: Both rings say “Aku cinta kamu” and I am DEAD

Hahahaha Alec wanted to win the proposal but this round goes to Magnus. But tbh he totally cheated XD XD XD

Ngl, the ring catching on Magnus's knuckle for a moment reminded me of the wedding of Kate and William ahahahaa I'm trash XD

Can you believe Malec got cheated out of their first engaged kiss by some rude ass explosion? Unfair.

I find myself genuinely confused by this. Why does Alec even entertain the thought of not going with Magnus? It seems so illogical that they'd seperate now. Later reason kicked in, and yeah, Edom probably isn't the best place for a shadowhunter but this is exactly it: Alec's instinct should have been to go with Magnus and I wish they'd taken the time to address this in any way, to give Alec the chance to express his wish to go with Magnus.

WTF WHY DOES MAGNUS SHAKE HIS HEAD THIS IS NOT OKAY WTF

But then he jokes about runaway grooms anyway because he thinks he’ll never see Alec again and he wants Alec to remember him joking & smiling & happy *cries* I’M SAD. why did I bring that up.

Thanks, @intezaarlily for making tHIS EVEN WORSE WTF

OH MY GOD I CAN'T I'M LAUGHING SO HARD THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS HAHAHAHA Magnus REALLY should have pulled the portal down on himself and not flown into it like a flying fish jumping out of the water wtf hahaha. Then again this is proof he can totally do the superman flight and it is CANON that he did that at some point. He had a whole annoying phase where he'd just fly around like a super hero. Cat was so done with it. Ragnor refused to be around him at all. Good times.

Anyway, another thing I need an explanation for is why it'll be so hard for Magnus to return to Earth. In 3x10 that posed No Problem, meaning one of two things. Either a) Asmodeus sent him back or b) he could easily travel back because he used that pentagram thingy. Honestly, the fact that Jonathan just as easily returns to Earth after his failed attempt on Lilith's life lets me favor b), which begs the question why Magnus used a regular portal instead of the pentagram thingy now. But even if a) is the case then that means Greater Demons apparently have no problem removing people from Edom and then I wonder if Magnus will have to beg Azazel or something to return him home lol, like a little kiddie asking for a lift. Or maybe, since he channelled his epic Edom!Power, maybe he can send himself back?? In any case I want some solid explanation on that.

Alec just collapsing made so much sense okay. I could feel the emptiness in my own chest, having gained and lost everything in a few short minutes, I can't even imagine how crushed Alec must be feeling.

Magnus's magic closing the rift is so epic in an incredibly emotional and intimate sense. Seeing his magic, part of him, when he's so far beyond all of their reach. It's incredible, it's touching and powerful and so so fragile. I'm amazed.

I can't believe they did this. I can't believe they put the literally last shot of this in the 3B Trailer. The audacity.

Okay but really important question, who's gonna feed Lorenzo now??? (God only one week left I am dead.)

#shadowhunters #3x20 #magnus bane #alec lightwood #jace wayland #clary fray #isabelle lightwood #jonathan morgenstern #luke garroway #maia roberts #simon lewis #kyle #maryse lightwood #the seelie queen #meliorn #asmodeus #lorenzo rey #malec #reaction

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bluephoenixdruidicprincess · 6 years ago

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Shadowhunters 3x12, Original Sin -- Review

Welcome to another Shadowhunters review. 3x12 Original Sin, left me with the overall feeling of , "what was the point?"

I would like to preface this review with saying that I am NOT a huge supporter of this show. I do enjoy certain elements of it but I'm not what would be classified as a devoted fan. For me, Shadowhunters is not a good show and I do get very critical of the show in my reviews. Honestly, for me, I watch the show because 1) I'm too curious not to and 2) I find that this show can be so bad its funny and that's how I reap enjoyment out of it. I am not at all invested in this show or its characters anymore. I'm just watching to see what happens. If you're a die hard fan and you lash out at everyone who has a different opinion than you, you might want to skip these...I'm just saying. My reviews may not be for you. If you do decide to be a total troll, well then pay attention to the below disclaimer.

This is going to be an honest review of my thoughts and feelings regarding this episode. If you're the kind of Shadowhunters fan where you only want to hear positive things about the show, this is not the place for you. If you decide to stick around and get offended by what is said, then that's on you. I warned you. Just know that if you send me any rude comments or messages, I will 100% ignore you. I find that's the best way to deal with bullies. I work 14 hour days. Do you really think I want to waste my incredibly valuable free time dealing with derogatory comments? Hell no. This review will consist of my honest opinions. Opinions are never right or wrong. I'm not telling YOU how to think and feel. I'm telling you what I, quirky and socially awkward me, think and feel. So please, lets discuss with dignity and respect. If I'm critical about this show, it's only because I want it to get better. There is, in fact, a difference between hating a show and being critical of it. I do not hate Shadowhunters, I am being critical and analyzing the flaws as I would with any other show. There are positives but there are also negatives. It's great if you want to promote positivity with this show (and I encourage you to do so) but that doesn't mean I'm not going to point out the things that are legitimately wrong with it. Also, keep in mind that despite the fact that I do like the books, me being critical of this show has nothing to do with my fondness for the books. I don't really care if the show deviates from the source material as long as the changes are good, it makes sense, and it doesn't create plot holes within the confines of the world the show has created. My problems with this show are problems I would have with any show or book for that matter. I think it's perfectly reasonable to take issue with a show that has plot holes, shoddy world building, and inconsistent characters. There will be spoilers for the books and movie.

So yeah, I was not a big fan of this episode. Basically, this episode is just a bunch of plots mashed together that played out in a timespan of 42 minutes and the writers called it an episode. It has no structure, no flow, it's just a compilation of moments, no connecting themes are ever really introduced and oh my god, the acting in this episode was atrocious. It's like everyone forgot how to emote and was just collecting a paycheck, they were only there because they were being paid to be there. The acting in this episode is what's known as "phoning it in". There was no spark to the acting, no charm. At least, for me. Others may have thought the acting was great and they're allowed to think that. I’m just of the opinion the acting wasn't that great and I'm allowed to think that, as well. I shudder to say it but the acting featured in early Season 1 is Emmy worthy compared to what we got in this episode.

And the A-Plot is Back to Being Dull

You know what really would've been an interesting character arc? Jonathon being a dark mirror for Clary and Clary having to really evaluate herself and acknowledge the dark parts in her and realize she has both of her parents in her. What did you say, Freeform? Character development is for amateur writers? Your main character, the character that's supposed to carry the story should remain a cardboard cutout with no complexity? Okay, then. Cool. My mistake. I suppose it was asking a little too much for you to do character development on this show. It's nice to know that this entire plot with Jonathon featured in the previous episode and this episode was completely meaningless, a waste of time the show doesn't have, and was probably only here to showcase Jonathon's incestuous feelings towards Clary...because he's evil so of course he's in love with his sister. Now, I am in no way saying I like the whole Clace incest vibe from the books. I found it creepy and I generally didn't like it but later on in the series, I was more okay with it because of Jonathon and his feelings being a dark mirror for Clace, there was a story-telling purpose for it so I can't really fault the books for that. But the show doesn't have that. They didn't really go for the Clace incest so all we're going to get is an evil dude in love with his sister, it's basically going to mean little to the overarching themes of the story. It's more like, "Does this really need to be here? Does this really need to be explored?"

In this episode we have Jonathon and Clary just chilling in Paris, France. Although it is quite concerning just how few people there actually appear to be in Paris France, the romance capital of the world. But anyway, in preparation for leaving the apartment and experiencing Paris, Jonathon has Clary change clothes before they go out which thank god for that. She has supposedly been wearing that same outfit for days now, she even trekked through the snow in it in her attempted escape wearing that outfit. All I'm saying is those clothes must be soaked in sweat and oil by now. Honestly, I'm surprised Jonathon can be in the same room as her, her BO must be pretty rank by now. But Clary's clothing issue has been solved by Lillith conveniently being the exact same size as Clary. I'm just going to ignore the part where Lillith is technically a demon, human isn't even her true form so I don't know why she has such an extensive wardrobe. Clary and Jonathon hang out in Paris for a little bit, all the while they're trying to get the other to trust them and while they're doing that, Luke and Jace are actively trying to find our Mary Sue. They eventually end up in Siberia where Jace finds a clump of hair so that definitely means that clump of hair is Clary's and in all future scenes I became obsessed with trying to find Clary's bald spot because that clump of hair was huge. Clary notices a shadowhunter and picks his pocket for his stele. Apparently, the shadowhunters take missing steles VERY seriously because the guy reports it and Jace finds out through some sort of criminal report database so they hypothesize Clary is in Paris. I don't know why the shadowhunter would automatically assume a rogue shadowunter stole it. It could just have easily been a pick-pocket or it could've fallen out of his pocket, Paris is a busy place. Jonathon and Clary end up in some sort of store because Jonathon has heard that the shopkeeper might know of the Morganstern sword. And I'm instantly appalled that Clary is supposedly a seasoned, fully-fledged shadowhunter and she doesn't appear to know about the different classes of demons. I guess Clary is all brawn no brain. But the shopkeeper refuses to do business with Jonathon while Clary's there because he can smell the shadowhunter on her. Jonathon lets Clary leave the shop and Clary uses the stele to, I guess try to escape but the shadowhunter she stole it from conveniently finds her, she tells him who she is and I'm even more appalled at just how self-absorbed Clary is in this moment. She undoes her magical wig and just assumes that's enough to prove that she is who she says she is, she just assumes this guy knows what Clary Fairchild looks like. I mean, clearly the entire world should know who she is, she's the Mary Sue main character after all. But Jonathon figures out something is wrong when the shadowhunter twists Clary's arm and Jonathon feels it which is weird on how this whole bond thing works. Because when she passed out in the snow, nothing happened to him. So just like the parabatai bond, I think this is going to be a very selective plot device, it's only going to matter when the narrative needs it to matter. Jonathon kills the shadowhunter and after exclaiming that killing someone for Clary must be what love is, Jace, Alec and Luke show up. Clary tells them not to kill Jonathon as it'll hurt her as well but she does stab herself in the leg and that causes hurt to Jonathon which spurs him to run away. I don't know why a stab in the leg is enough to deter him considering he grew up in a demon realm and no doubt faced much worse torture. But whatever. Clace gets their reunion kiss, and by the way to no one’s surprise hopefully, time away has not built their chemistry in any way so they still feel awkward. And the episode ends with Jonathon back in the episode screaming his frustration. It was an interesting director’s decision to have the scene completely silent in that moment. It might’ve been effective except I think it went 5 seconds too long. They probably could’ve trimmed that down a little and it would’ve felt more organic. But after a while, it was like, “okay, when is this scene going to be over?”

Quick sidenote before I move on. In this whole plot to find Clary, why didn't anyone even once try tracking her? I mean, it wouldn't have worked, but still, they don't know that and tracking is their default response to everything...Jace misplaces his hair gel and I’m sure he’s knocking at Magnus’s door to get Alec to help him parabatai-track it down.

The Sizzy Plot (Can we just not, okay?)

So the Sizzy plot is still happening and it still feels very forced. I think the issue that I've really been having with show!Sizzy, much in the same vein as Clizzy as well, we're shown that Simon and Izzy are friends but we don't get any sort of understanding as to why they're friends. The thing that makes me care about any relationship in a story -- whether it be romantic, platonic, whatever -- is the personality of the relationship. I need to be able to distinguish why this relationship exists within the context of the characters and the story. Why do these characters have the relationship they do? Why do they want to be around each other? And there's none of that with Sizzy. Really, there's none of that with any of the relationships on this show but that's beside the point. And yes, I'm even talking about Malec with that statement, their relationship also has no personality. The only relationship on this show that's even close to having a personality is Saia. I've said it before, while I adore Sizzy in the books, I don't want it in the show. The show has stripped away everything that made Sizzy interesting and fun and what Sizzy has left in the show is just really dull and bland and I don't care about it. The show's better off to quit while they're ahead and keep Saia.

But anyway, the Sizzy plot starts with them walking through the sewers of New York in their search for the oldest vampire and one of Izzy's first lines is she knows these sewers through and through as she used to sneak down here to hunt as a child. So we get the scene where Izzy hides behind Simon because she saw a rat and first off, I find this extremely out of character for both book!Izzy and show!Izzy. While it’s believable she may be afraid of rats, I don't think she would cower behind someone. She would probably kill it on instinct. Izzy is not someone who cowers in the wake of her fears, she faces them head on and makes those fears fear her instead. She would take a dagger and just throw it at the rat or use the whip and slice it into little bits and pieces and serve it to her most recent ex for breakfast. Secondly, I'm confused, she says she knows these sewers through and through but rats populating the sewers is not a recent development. If she's this afraid of rats, how on earth has she gotten through these sewers before. Also, is this fear of rats thing kind of like a nod to the books wherein Simon gets turned into a rat? Is this the writers saying they found that plot repulsive and that's why they didn't use it? Just a casual observation there. But anyway, they continue their search and as they get deeper into the sewers, Simon asks if they're going the right way and Izzy responds with she doesn't know because she's never gone this deep...which again, confused. Izzy said she knew these sewers through and through -- clearly, she doesn't and that line was stupid. But anyway, Simon meets this vampire, it turns out to be Cain. The story goes that Adam broke up with Lillith back in the day because he wanted to be with Eve and the whole Cain and Able story happened because Lillith compelled Cain to kill Able. Yeah, just effectively taking away responsibility of one's actions, that's what these writers do best. I bet when they were in school, they used the classic “my dog ate my homework” excuse all the time. Lillith turned Cain into a vampire and daylighter because he drank Able's blood, I guess, which eww, I certainly never heard that part of the story in church. And Cain got the mark from the Seelie Queen so we still don't know anything about the mark, why it was created, how it was created, nothing. But we did get a magical rock that can apparently take away the mark, the rock not being Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson -- although that would certainly be cool and he is very magical to me -- but being The Rock that was used to kill Able by Cain. Simon and Izzy go to the Seelie Realm to get the mark removed and there's one scene I did like where Meliorn asks Izzy if she and Simon are dating and I don't understand what would make him think that but whatever. But that's not the part I liked. When Izzy tells Meliorn no, she and Simon aren't a thing, Meliorn responds with ok cool, in that case we should totally hang out again and you can bring your friend along as well. Now, that would've been an interesting dynamic for this show to get into. A polyamorous situation between Izzy, Simon, and Meliorn. And you know what? When it comes right down to it? I would even be happy if Izzy and Meliorn were endgame as opposed to Sizzy. At least there's been development for these two. The mark gets removed using the rock but it's excruciatingly painful for Simon, more excruciating was watching how this scene was directed. Was Simon floating in the air really necessary with shimmering cgi white lights underneath his skin? I really don't think so. It would've been just fine if he was just on the ground feeling this pain and considering this was effectively getting rid of all of the blood in his system, it might've been cooler to see shimmering blood-red cgi underneath his skin. And as I said, after this process ends and the mark of cain is no more, Simon is dying slowly because he has no blood in his system so Izzy cuts her hand and offers hers but it isn't enough so she has Simon bite her and take however much he needs. Thus, ending her sobriety.

Now, I'm less bothered by the whole drug aspect of Sizzy that a lot of people dislike in this episode. I do think this is a real sacrifice Izzy is making to save Simon and it'll be interesting to see 1)if there are any consequences to this and 2) how she faces those consequences. After some amount of time of being sober, she's now got the taste again so we'll see. Is she strong enough to overcome it or is she going to fall apart again? My issue with this mark of Cain plot seemingly being a lead-in into Sizzy is that's it's not based on any sort of character dynamic. Again, it all ties into the personality of a relationship thing I've been talking about. Izzy, at least from the development we've gotten of Sizzy, doesn't really have that strong of ties of Simon. She like him as a person, probably, but if he were to actually die in this moment, she might be sad and there's certainly going to be repercussions with her friendship with Clary but she's been around death her whole life, death is something she more or less accepts. The relationship she has with Simon is really nothing more than a working relationship she has with those nameless shadowhunters in the Institute. I'm sure she likes them well enough, can even hold a conversation with them, but it doesn't really go beyond that. So, what happens in this scene just makes the moment, as well as Sizzy in general, feel just really hollow.

The Malec Plot

See what I mean about this episode just having random stuff happen that doesn't really connect with each other. Well, we're about to get into more of it.

So Malec has a training fight scene, it's alright. It's nothing great nor is it horrible. It's just kind of there. I'm normally a fan of Shadowhunter training fight sequences, they're pretty fun to look at and they deliver nice exposition in a way that isn't boring to listen to. I do wish they would cut out the alternative pop music though, it's very distracting. And I typically like fight scenes being used as a way for characters to flirt with each other but unfortunately, Shadowhunters is not great about that aspect of it. Whenever there's flirting involved in these fight scenes, it just always comes off as super cringey. But my problem in this scene lies more in how unequal the fight is. Magnus is on the offense primarily the entire time and Alec is defensive and just kind of taking it and letting Magnus beat up on him, which by no means is a bad thing, it's just a little unbelievable considering Alec has been trained to be a warrior since a young age so you would think he would have a little more fight to him. I thought it would’ve been cool after Magnus bragged about all this fight training he's had and throwing down Alec, Alec then throws down Magnus and is all, "you have your tricks, I have mine" and the entire fight scene is all about these two trying to prove which fighting style is more effective and then it eventually escalates to the bedroom scene where it's revealed that despite them having different fight styles (which is also sybolism for their very different personalities), that's what makes them a perfect fit for each other. That's how I would've written it but I'm not the writers and that definitely isn't what happened. Magnus beats up on Alec some, Alec gets turned on and they move things to the bedroom. That's basically what happens. We see them again just at the tail end of their sexual escapades, which was cool. And this is something I've been noticing and I can't seem to un-see since 3B began. The chemistry with Magnus and Alec just doesn't feel like chemistry of lovers. I've never felt like they had amazing chemistry before but I always felt it worked, but coming back from this year-long hiatus, the chemistry just isn't there for me. I even looked at previous seasons and I'm seeing a lot of what I saw here that I just never noticed before. Just the rigidness these two people have whenever they're in a scene together just makes me feel really awkward. I think the year hiatus is causing me to look at this show with fresher eyes so that’s why I’m noticing it now. Time sometimes changes your perspectives on things. They had one moment of passion in this episode where I almost believed them and that was the kiss at the end of the fight scene. But in the next scene where they're laying in the bed, I felt nothing and I certainly didn't believe for a second they just had sex. And the immortality talk was alright, I guess but I really just found it more out of place than anything else.

Really, this entire Malec plot didn't need to be in this episode. I don't necessarily mind that it was, but there was no purpose to it for the episode's overall plot. Like, the fight scene is fine but I don't really understand why it's there or why Magnus feels like he needed fight training when he clearly knows how to fight. It just makes this sub-plot feel pointless. I would've much preferred Malec playing a bigger role in discovering where Clary was and being more central to that plot.

So there you have it. Overall, I felt like this entire episode was just generally kind of pointless and a mash-up of plots that would’ve been better served in their own episodes where more attention could’ve been given. But as the episode stands now, it really didn’t accomplish a whole lot. And the things it did manage to accomplish, I feel it accomplished in very shaky ways that didn't really develop the characters in any way so again, really, what was even the point? That's what I kept on asking myself the entire episode. And as I said before, the acting was pretty bad. It really gave the impression that the actors didn't care. I don't know if anyone else saw what I did but that's what I saw and the general impression of what I got from this episode. There were so many line deliveries that felt flat, there was no facial expressions and a lot of the episode, it just felt like I was watching people say lines they had memorized. I'd give this episode a C-. It's still fine but it just leaves you feeling hollow.

#shadowhunters #shadowhunters 3b #shadowhunters original sin #shadowhunters 3x12

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mst3kproject · 6 years ago

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815: Agent for HARM

I fear I am among the minority who really don’t find the host segments in this episode funny. They’re kind of tedious and frustrating, really – though I do smile at Crow being a character witness – and when the time came to re-watch the episode in preparation for this review, I actually skipped them and got straight to the movie. It’s pretty drab, too.

Dr. Jan Stefanik defects from… somewhere or other, and moves to California to do… some kind of research. When his assistant Henry suddenly dissolves into a mess of green goo, spy organization HARM decides Stefanik needs a full investigation and sends Agent Adam Chance, a guy who dresses like Mr. Rogers and still manages to sleep with every woman he meets. Stefanik explains to Chance that his country has new and terrible tool of destruction: an alien Spore that reproduces by feeding on human flesh. That’s right, they’ve weaponized the space mummy fungus from Being from Another Planet! The movies are coming together into a single, mud-clear, incoherent whole, again!

Y’know, Secret Agent Super Dragon and Danger!! Death Ray weren’t very good, but they could legitimately claim to globe-trotting adventures. Super Dragon took us to Amsterdam, and Death Ray at least mentioned Rome and Barcelona. In Agent for HARM we see one beach and a motel in Mexico. The whole movie seems to be in pastels, which aren’t really urgent colours, and something about the pacing is off. No matter what the movie tries to tell us, it just never feels like we’re in any sort of a hurry.

It’s not without legitimate entertainment value. The music’s not bad – it isn’t totally forgettable, but also not as obnoxiously memorable as the theme from Danger!! Death Ray. The Spore itself is a scary idea and the makeup that represents it is actually pretty good. I especially like the impression you get that there’s a dark, hollow cavity underneath the foaming fungus, as if the victim’s face is about to collapse. The improbably complete eyeball in Dr. Stefanik’s sample is entertainingly gross, and I like the glimpse of his lab animals that hint at what his work actually entails.

I’m sure the thing everybody remembers best about Agent for HARM, though, is Dr. Stefanik’s niece Ava. She’s cute and blonde and spends most of the movie running around in tiny little bikinis, and she works for the bad guys because of course she fucking does. This plot point is so obvious to anybody who’s ever seen a movie in their lives that I’m not sure why the writers bothered establishing it. The beautiful woman in a spy movie is always working for the bad guys.

I really would have liked to see way more of the relationship between Stefanik and Ava. Actually seeing them interact at any length might have helped to dispense with the creepy vibe we get from their age gap, her habit of wandering around in nothing but a tiny swimsuit, and Stefanik’s wistful commentary on how close they’ve become. It’s easy to see why Mike and the bots made some jokes about incest. Some character development here might also have suggested why Stefanik trusts her, when he surely must have suspected her of spying when she first showed up. The interactions we see make her look so damn suspicious that if she’d turned out to be genuine, Dr. Stefanik’s actual niece who really does want to help him, it would have been a shocking twist!

What would not have been a shocking twist would be if she turned out to be a robot. Barbara Bouchet wears so much makeup she looks like she’s made of plastic (or maybe that’s just her face – she looked exactly the same as Moneypenny in Casino Royale and Maria in Black Belly of the Tarantula… man, I’ve seen a lot of terrible movies) and for some reason her hair looks fake. She moves kind of robotically, too, and the first time I watched the movie I was thinking about the comparison well before Chance declares ‘she’s a machine’. He may have been more right than he knew.

What’s somewhat mysterious is when, exactly, Chance figured out Ava was a spy. His drunken boss asks him, but doesn’t receive a straight answer, and when you watch the movie a second time you can’t help but try to figure it out. Was it when she blatantly tried to distract him by inviting him to go swimming with her, and he said you’re not fooling anyone, Angel? But if so, why does he later save her when the guy who looks like Prince threatens her, if he already knew it was a ruse? Is it so she wouldn’t know that he knew? Was it when he realized the gun she’d given him wasn’t loaded?

I actually lean towards the latter incident as the moment of revelation, because it’s the one he references when he has her arrested. That also explains why he doesn’t give his boss a straight answer – he’s ashamed it took him that long.

The love story in this movie isn’t between Chance and Ava – or Chance and Karate Girl, or Chance and Beehive Secretary – anyway. It’s the bromance between Chance and Dr. Stefanik.

The two of them start off deeply suspicious of each other. Chance has been sent to keep an eye on Stefanik and he’s quite worried that the scientist may be some kind of spy himself. Chance threatens him with both death and deportation. Stefanik, meanwhile, is a man whose main flaw is that he trusts too easily, and he has learned the hard lesson that people who deal in the fate of nations do not make good friends. He fears the Americans may try to use Spore as a weapon just as his own people did. The one person he trusts is Ava, and only because she’s family – and boy, did that backfire on him – and even she is not allowed full access to his work on an antidote.

By the end of the movie, Chance and Stefanik come to trust each other totally, and are good friends to such a degree that their separation, reunion, and the reveal of Stefanik’s death plays out like a romantic tragedy. The captured Stefanik stares at the horizon, waiting for Chance to come for him. When they reunite, Chance wants to touch Stefanik despite knowing that the stuff in the bags, with which Stefanik is now covered, is deadly. When told Stefanik is dead, Chance denies it over and over until the proof is staring him in the face. If one or other of them were a woman, nobody would question that any of this is meant to be romantic, and they’re certainly closer in age than either of these gray-haired men is to twenty-two-year-old Ava.

This is two episodes in a row where I’ve talked about the homosexual undertones. Do I just have my tumblr goggles on, or are the movies actually that gay?

A certain number of things about this film become a little clearer when you know that it, like Stranded in Space, was intended as a pilot for a TV series. That’s why there’s not much for locations – they had to keep the budget down so as not to scare the investors. That’s why they bring up the cancelled date with the Beehive Secretary – perhaps she was supposed to be a regular love interest. It explains why not just the villains but the good guy of this particular story – Stefanik – must be dead at the end, because the main character can’t form long-lasting attachments that might carry into future episodes when the actors are guest stars who might not be able to come back. Maybe that’s also why Stefanik’s antidote to the fungus also didn’t work, because they were going to use Spore itself as an ongoing plot point.

Spore is an interesting and scary choice of weapon, probably the most interesting thing in the movie, and it’s possibly a metaphor for how communism was perceived in the 50’s and 60’s – as a disease that consumed societies from the inside. We saw an example of this in It Conquered the World, when Beulah implanted mind control devices in its victims, infecting them with its poisonous view of progress. The people in Stranded in Space thought Stryker was the one with the thought disease, here to infect their planet. Now here in Agent for HARM, we have Spore, which enters the human body and turns it into something unthinking and alien, just as Beulah did. Also like Beulah’s victims, who had to be killed because they could not be cured, once it has started there is no way to stop it.

Ava the ‘machine’ and the compassionless bad guy Malko also fit into this way of thinking. Their politics have transformed them into things as unthinking and alien as the fungus. When Chance writes the words Jan Stefanik, Human Being on the toe tag, he is emphasizing that Stefanik had succumbed to a disease of the body but not to this disease of the mind. Yet Chance’s boss reminds him, and Chance agrees, that they, too, are machines – Chance has, after all, coldly murdered several of Malko’s henchmen. In order to fight these unfeeling enemies, he has had to cultivate a lack of feeling in himself. Perhaps he emphasizes Stefanik’s humanity partly because he doesn’t feel quite human anymore.

Agent for HARM is okay, but it’s not great. There’s some interesting ideas in it, under-used, and a number of those glamorous secret agent tropes, over-used. It certainly doesn’t come near toppling Danger!! Death Ray as MST3K’s best secret agent movie – it’s just too forgettable.

#mst3k #reviews #agent for harm #tw: incest #the movies are all coming together #60s

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occupyvenus · 7 years ago

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i REALLY don't understand the kind of audience who don't realize jon is a hostage right now. they took his boat and his weapons, but d/ny said he wasn't a prisoner so i guess he could just swim to shore and walk unarmed back to the north if he wanted to no big! and then there's the folks who think kneeling is the same thing as making an alliance like literally i don't understand how the big speech about perpetuity could have gone so far over their head like the stakes are high dudes

This will kinda cover a huge portion of my up-coming “Targ!Bowl vs Targ!Cest” - post, but who cares since you asked and I wanna talk about.

Though I absolutely understand you and your frustration I kinda do understand why some parts of the audience don’t realize all that, or at least not the severity of it.

I’m not even talking exclusively about the shippers who, to like anything from 50 -99%, don’t care what happens as long as their ships becomes canon, or the stans who will find a way to sugarcoat and excuse absolutely anything, anything I tell you, before admitting their fav has done some seriously terrible things or, dear god, “problematic” traits and storylines.

It also seems plausible to me that some parts of the more general, non-obsessive, “I don’t read the books” or “have a blog about it” kind of audience, have trouble to really grasp these issues. You wanna know why? D&D are half-assing it. Right now they are half-assing two narratives, instead of whole-assing one.

I propose the following theory:

Right now D&D are setting the stage for dark!Dany, while simultaneously selling her as Jon’s love-interest this season. Those two narratives are pretty much forced to hold the other one back, because Jon can’t fall for “ the villain”, while Dany can’t break bad out of the blue.

Leaving us with this incoherent mess, slightly ooc characters and actions that don’t influence the story in a “logical” way or even contradict each other.

Dany’s “transformation”, if you will, has to be properly foreshadowed, it has to be sufficiently hinted at from the moment she touches westerosi soil. The audience has to be able to look back and think “Oohh… I guess what she said there wasn’t alright. Should have seen that”. But she also has to appear loveable enough to warrant any kind of affection Jon displays towards her. The audience’s reaction once dany does break bad should be “But why did Jon!? Well, I guess I didn’t think she was that bad back then neither.”

There you have it. That’s why her behaviour seems so appaling to some people, while others are still strong advocates for good!Dany and everyone in between doesn’t know what the fuck to think. That’s why you can make a strong case for both, or more precisely for neither.

This is apparent when you look at the fact that every “negative” characteristic she portrays is counter-attacked with one of two things:

Someone else making a comment, implying the exact opposite.

The narrative conveniently jumping to a new plot point, reducing the immediate emotional impact of what we just saw.

Here are some examples:

Varys interrupting their dispute at it’s climax | Their first meeting didn’t go particularly smooth. They did not see eye to eye, they were not moving towards an understanding. Quite on the contrary, their interaction become more antagonist with every line of dialogue. It’s starts with both of them playing nice (in their own way), moves to Dany saying that Jon is breaking faith, Jon telling her that he doesn’t give a fuck about her birthright and ends with Dany outright accusing Jon of being in open rebellion (!!!). Where do you think that conversation was heading at? An intimate conversation about dead brothers? Dany has made her stance on Northern Independence clear, she see’s it as treason, I swear to all the gods, if Varys hadn’t walked in right then and there she would have explained what exactly the punishment for treason and oath breaking is. Try making a romance out of that. But conveniently enough Varys did come in at the perfect moment, dissolving all the tension into nothing, ending the scene on a half-baked Jon is her prisoner-but-not-really note.

Tyrion telling Jon about Slaver’s Bay | I don’t know if you had noticed, but Dany left her undeniably good accomplishment of abolishing slavery out of her little speech. She exclusively focused on awful things that have happened to her and the two big achievements that make her so god-darn special: Bringing dragons back into this world and making the Dothraki cross the Narrow Sea. All her statements were about her, not about the good she has or could do in this world. I strongly believe this is to imply that her conquest is deep down rooted in selfish desires. Contrasting Jon, who embraces his role as king to protect and save his people. So of course, we need another character to swoop in and remind us of the good things she has done. Too make it more clear: Dany says that “faith in herself kept her going”, Tyrion reminds Jon that “she protects people from monsters”.

Jon is a prisoner, but hey, he gets dragonglass | Jon was a “prisoner” prisoner for exactly five seconds, when he - rightfully - complained about it to Tyrion. It is establish that Jon wants to leave, but simply can’t, because Dany took his ship, thus making him her prisoner. If D&D had some balls they could have pursued this narrative, but instead wooossshhhhh we are jumping ahead to Jon being allowed to mine dragonglass. Now it doesn’t matter whether Jon is staying on dragonstone by his own free will or not. He needs that dragonglass, so of course he will stay to mine it. The audience was forced to contemplate Danys decision to lock him up for like a minute, before rendering the conflict obsolete. Begging the question why it was necessary to begin with, if not to show Dany doing some un-nice things to one of our protagonists.

Varys and the whole “burn someone alive” issue | This isn’t limited to her interactions with Jon. I am going to talk about Dany threatening to burn Varys alive, very much, very soon. Right now, all I want to say is that it is not a good omen. It’s one of the clearest indication so far that Dany will embrace her “inner dragon” and cause some serious destruction when doing so. Dragons plant no trees. But all the not-so-great undertones of her interaction with Varys are forgotten in the next scene when she embraces Melisandre with open arms saying “we decided to pardon all those who served the wrong king.” Sucking all the dark implications of threatening someone to BURN HIM ALIVE right out of the audience’s mind. Emphasizing that part where she pardons former “traitors”. If that scene would have cut away from Dany right after “her promise”, without reminding ous of her “forgiving” side, that little comment would have left a way more bitter taste in your mouth than it did.

I don’t wanna spoil anything from episode 4, (next paragraph contains very minor spoilers!)let’s just say that Dany demanding that Jon bends the knee, is met with another character stating that “Dany was chosen by her people”. Supposedly trying to establish a parallel that doesn’t hold any water in her current situation in westeros, anyway. But again, it is taking the sentiment expressed by Danys actions and words (a chosen king should kneel to her, whom his people didn’t choose) and twists it to paint Dany in a better light (she too was chosen by her people). It doesn’t make any sense when you think about it, but it fabricates enough emotional connections, for the audience to soften their view on Danys opinion on northern independence.

Do you see what I mean? I have a couple other examples, but some of them are from episode 4 and I’m going to go into this in my upcoming post anyway. The unobservant and/or biased show watcher simply has no time to properly process all this in one go. I’ve watched each episodes several times, am pretty obsessed with this whole thing and even I took some time before noticing a pattern.

Most people will just stick to that component of the narrative which is coherent with what they already know: that Dany is one of the good guys, a hero of this story. All her questionable actions are either dismissed or boiled down to “well, it turned out okay in the end”. As sloppy as the individual narratives seem to be (neither dark!Dany, nor, let’s call her hero!Dany are well developed, they overlap, contradict each other, etc.), they did a fantastic job at keeping the audience in the dark about it. Why?

Because for one reason or another she has to fuck Jon. Why that is, can only really be judged once we seen the whole of season 7, probably season 8, but I do have a couple of ideas why:

It happens in the books and D&D shouldn’t have cut the episode count. Maybe Jon and Dany hook up and/or develop feelings for each other before she breaks bad in the books as well. But since we only have 10 episodes where that could happen and dark!Dany and targ!bowl also has to happen at one point, those two storylines overlap. It isn’t too far-fetched that something will happen in the books as well, since Jon unknowingly committing “incest”, while being tormented about falsely-assumed incest is just too … fucked up, not to have crossed grrm’s mind.

It’s a red herring to throw the audience of Targ!bowl and Jonsa. Yes, I do belong to the people who are pretty very much certain that Jonsa will be endgame. I also belong to the people who are pretty very much certain that targ!bowl will happen one way or another. Believe me or not, I believed that Jon and Dany would rather fight than fuck once she comes to westeros, way before I ever thought about Jon and Sansa being a thing. So it’s not because I’m a salty shipper. So what else do I have to say? It’s a red herring, they are throwing us off the rails, to make Jonsa and Targ!Bowl extra-super-duper-surprising in season 8. And probably a bit rushed as well. Great. Just what I wanted. At least Jonsa was properly set up in season 6 and they mention each other every episode. Coincidence?

They want to have a sex-scene with Kit and Emilia. D&D are trash. They have sexualized countless other encounters on the show, single-handedly coined the term “sexposition”, I do believe they could write in a Jon x Dany sex-story just because. You can call that fanservice if you like. I’m not going to stop you.

Maybe they thought Jon and Dany having “a history” would make targ!bowl more engaging. Could be.

Either way, I personally feel a bit exhausted by this decision. Not because it “threatens” my ship, it doesn’t imo and not because I’m so opposed to the idea of Jon and Dany hooking up or even having a love-affair. It’s because the screenwriting is sloppy. It’s because they are messing up Danys characterization and maybe Jon’s as well. It’s because both Dany and Jon contradict themselves and the development of their relationship simply suffers by Dany being set on the path to the dark side, without any character on screen noticing it (at least yet. I have this feeling that Tyrion will seriously start to doubt all this very soon.)

I know this got way too long again, but giving unwanted, unnecessarily long answers is my forte after all.

I’m still holding my fingers crossed for Jonny playing Dany, all I can do is wait and pray. Let’s see how the rest of the season / series progresses, but for now I’m going to leave you with some wisdom from Ron Swanson, D&D should have taken to heart IMO:

#got s7 #dark!dany #anti-jonerys #anti-daenerys #i suppose #got meta #anti d&d #my stuff #i am a bit salty

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wannabanauthor · 7 years ago

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Seven Shades of Shit Book Review with Caitlyn Lynch: Chapter 6 Part 1

Hello everybody, and once again I’m reviewing Cassandra Dee’s Seven Brothers of Sin. It’s a horrible book so far, and I expect Chapter 6 to answer the question “Can this get any worse?”

Don’t forget to check out the lovely @caitlynlynch review as well! She is my partner in suffering at the moment. Her review will be linked here!

Here is the link to the masterpost.

Now onto the horror show…wait, I need some chocolate pie before I attempt to read this garbage.

This chapter is from Macy’s POV, and apparently she needs to recap everything.

I’m going to caption this as “Last Time on Seven Brothers of Sin…”

They’re probably drugging you, Macy. You should stay away from them. They’re weird as fuck.

This is a classic example of Plot Convenience, and it’s asking the readers for an unusually high Suspension of Disbelief threshold.

I’ve read taboo/pseudo-incest erotica that didn’t sound this creepy. You think I might be exaggerating, but I’m not. This author’s writing really is that bad.

I’d like to remind you of Caitlyn’s first chapter review where she mentions the possible child molestation that took place when the Morgan’s brothers played doctor with Macy 10 years ago when she was 8 years old.

I’d like to also reiterate that the taboo erotica I’ve read never ever mentions a sexual or romantic relationship/interest between the man and the woman before she was of legal age. Think about that for a moment. Erotica centering on step-family members fucking each other has better morals then a non-taboo erotic book. How’s that for a comparison?

Unless you’re actually a diagnosed sex-addict, you are not addicted to your vibrator. A lot of teenage girls masturbate, look at porn, and read romance novels. However, that should not be mentioned or referred to in this book since she was underage at the time it happened. If anything, the author could have focused on her playing with herself and everything when she was at college.

Bitch, Smith just touched you down there. You have six guys panting over you, and I guarantee you that men do not care about “how much flesh” is down there. They just want to fuck you. If that means they got to spread their fingers apart a little wider to pave the way, they don’t give a fuck. Pussy is pussy.

When did Macy make out with them? I don’t remember any kissing. You can’t be a slut without having sex. If you’re using a vibrator internally, then your hymen is not intact. One time I wrote a virgin character, and in order for her have a hymen, I made sure to mention that she didn’t finger herself or use tampons. But I’m just extra like that.

And when was Matt’s tongue on you? Continuity errors or I was just that drunk?

People have hang ups over food? No shit, Sherlock. Have you seen how the media pushes fatphobia to the point where parents will starve their growing kids just so they can be thin? Vegans care about animal rights and the negative effects of eating meat on the environment. Noble goal when they aren’t being classist, racist, fatphobic, and a whole bunch of other shit. Other people have dietary restrictions. Some just want to live a healthy lifestyle, and others have eating disorders. Fuck you for shitting on anyone’s diet and being dismissive about the real reasons behind it.

I’m sitting here trying to collect my thoughts to respond to this false rhetoric calmly, but fuck that. I give zero fucks anymore.

Macy, you’re not dumb or insignificant for taking pleasure in small things. You are dumb for a whole other list of reasons that I don’t care to get into right now. Feminists want equality, especially for women who like to do traditional “feminine” things. They want it to be a choice, not a requirement.

Macy, I’m going to stop you right there at “big careers”. Even my sorority sisters who are working for TV channels, our alma mater, famous companies, and or in government don’t have big and glamourous careers yet. Only the older ones who graduated a decade ago come close to that. If it makes you feel better, I don’t you being a tax expert, lawyer, or grad student. Your stupidity would cause someone to be audited, thrown in jail, pay a huge fine, or take up a valuable spot in a graduate program.

White privilege is calling your parents by their first name and not getting knocked the fuck out.

While I could go on a rant about her white privilege, I could also use this time to point out how utterly stupid she is. Does she think that everyone working a cubicle job wants to be there? No, a lot of them have bills to pay, so they do it anyway. A lot of them are also smart and work on their passion in their free time so that they can build up enough experience to eventually transition into doing their passion as a full-time job.

But then again, white privilege plays into this. It doesn’t even occur to her that she can do both. Every person of color is taught from birth that they need to have a side hustle for extra money or as a backup plan. I am one of the rare fortunate ones that has a day job that I love, and I get to be an independent author in my spare time. I am living proof that you can do both. My black coworkers at my current and former job all have businesses or side hustles. One of my former coworkers has a full-time job and ten companies that she runs.

Of course, Macy is too stupid to figure this out because she thinks she deserves to have everything fall into her lap at her convenience while the rest of us work our asses off so that we can survive and do what we love.

You’re going to be a fucking awful chef and cookbook author if that’s the case. Creating recipes requires equations, problem solving, presentations, and effective communication. And the kitchens in America are notorious for the verbal abuse that the cooking staff face. Even when I took a cooking class, the professor was blunt but honest. You don’t have the buoys to work in a kitchen. It’s not all fairy dust and daydreams.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! She wants to self-publish, but she can’t problem solve or make presentations? Oh man, that is a disaster waiting to happen. Self-publishing is not easy. Anyone can write a book and publish it, but in order to be successful you have to research and study your ass off to actually sell your books. If they don’t sell, you have to analyze the situation and problem solve for a solution.

Keep this dumb bitch away from the kitchen. The following information took me five seconds to find:

Don’t use runny cheese on pizza, you fuckwit!

Is the virgin slut slut-shaming other women? Who would want the perfect resume? Who would want to drink and sleep around? She must be new here because that’s exactly what people tend to do to relieve stress.

You just made soggy pizza, you dipshit, so your comparison is correct. You’re not going to know what you’re doing, and you’re going to fuck it all up.

While her mom is right about the education and job part, she is also a humongous snobby privileged white bitch who just insulted every single cook and chef in existence. Well, if the bitch hates people who cook so much, she should just stop eating and save them the time.

Head, meet desk, please. Repeatedly.

Oh honey, you think you’ll start out at a high-class restaurant? You can’t do math, problem solve, or take criticism. All it takes is for one uppity rich white woman to complain about your food, and you’ll be fired for your incompetency. Well, after you finish crying your eyes out in front of everyone.

Macy, everyone knows what rushing is. I’ve been on the sorority side of it, and trust me, it’s a learning experience. You learn how to conduct two-way interviews, evaluate candidates, sell people an experience, and you end up networking with some of the women. If your dream is to be a celebrity chef, joining a sorority is the way to go. Once you pay your dues, you get instant access to thousands of women in every industry imaginable. You get an entire network of women willing to help you just because you joined an organization. Make fun all you want, but rushing is essentially convincing hundreds of young women to spend thousands of dollars per semester on an experience that has lifelong benefits. Sounds like the thing you need to do what you want to do.

I’m with Martha on this one.

You are as dumb as people think. You can go to culinary school after you graduate from college and get a job. Trade schools usually have a few class you can take during outside of 9-5.

You really are fucking clueless if you want a baby at eighteen even though you have no desire to go get a degree or get a monotonous job that pays the bills.

And where did this desire for a baby come from? You know what’s even harder than a college education and a boring job? A baby!

Sorry to burst your bubble, but breastfeeding can be very painful and frustrating. It’s one of those things they don’t usually tell women until after they’ve given birth. Or at least that’s what they do in the States. If you don’t believe me, go look at Chrissy Tiegen’s tweet after she gave birth when she said “they didn’t tell me that I’d be going home in a diaper too”.

Breastfeeding can be so difficult that lactation consultants exist. Sometimes the babies just don’t latch or just don’t want a nipple. My friend had trouble breastfeeding her first kid, but her second kid was a natural with breastfeeding. Then there’s the leaking milk, pumping milk, not producing enough milk. You need to study all this stuff before you have a kid.

Don’t kid yourself. You’re not smart enough to become a CEO.

This is exactly why you shouldn’t have a fucking baby! Even Domo Wilson waited until she was financially stable to get inseminated, and she had been wanting a child since she was a kid herself. She talked herself out of intentionally becoming a teen mom because she wanted to wait until she could actually provide for the child. She’s a lesbian too, so she had to pay some serious money for the entire insemination process.

You don’t know jack shit about any of those things, so you’re already off to a bad start.

(Tumblr is refusing to post all the photos, so this is a two-parter)

#seven shades of shit #book review with caitlyn lynch #seven brothers of sin #cassandra dee #the book from hell

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agirlwritesreviews · 7 years ago

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The Shining (1980)

Directed by: Stanley Kubrick | Starring: Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duvall

This is the first film of Kubrick’s I have seen and by the end of it all, I understand why The Shining is considered a classic.

I’m not crazy for horror films but I certainly do appreciate good ones that don’t just give you cheap thrills - and, Kubrick’s masterpiece is definitely not cheap at all.

The film starts with Jack Torrance (played by Jack Nicholson) being hired as the new caretaker of the Overlook Hotel. The previous caretaker apparently was taken with cabin fever and then murdered his wife and two daughters, but this doesn’t seem to unnerve Jack at all and he brings his wife, Wendy (played by Shelley Duvall) and son, Danny (played by Danny Lloyd) to stay by themselves in the hotel for the whole winter as part of his job.

Now, The Shining is art as art can get.

It’s the type of movie that you’d have to pay really close attention to as to not miss any details and when I mean details - I really mean details. I was left researching and reading other viewer theories about the movie and all these analyses just reveal how great the aesthetic and the storytelling of this film was. P.S. I know Stephen King (the author of the book the movie is adapted from) is not such a big fan of Kubrick’s interpretation but personally, I liked it.

Going back, Wendy and Danny get toured around their home for the winter by the hotel chef, Dick Halloran (played by Scatman Crothers). On their tour, Dick manages to communicate telepathically to Danny and the audience finds out that the two share a gift called, the “shining”. The shining allows them to see visions, see past events, and basically it’s this psychic ability that allows them to connect to each other in a deeper or more advanced level. The way this skill was shown was a bit disappointing for me and seemed out of the place with the aesthetic of the movie because it just showed a quick glance from Halloran and a voice-over asking Danny if he wanted ice cream. I do not know exactly how Kubrick should have portrayed it but I have reservations with that scene.

Nothing notable happens after that, except for the family being told to stay away from Room 237 in the hotel. Danny asks Halloran, what’s in there and he just says nothing. Mysterious. Anyway, viewers then get to see how the hotel looks from Danny’s point of view with him riding his toy car around the hotel. The camera angle from the bottom, just adds to that sense of unease and coldness about the hotel matched with totally unnerving music. Then, Danny sees the two daughters of the old caretaker staring at him. Sure, he already saw the identical sisters before dressed in creepy matching outfits but in the second scene with the three of them, the twin ghosts invite him to play with them - forever. ABSOLUTELY CREEPY. And, that scene was shot in this yellow-lit hall that would trigger your claustrophobic-ness. Danny copes by talking to his imaginary friend, Tony, and being reassured that it was just a vision.

Things take a turn when everyone in the hotel leaves and the family gets stuck together amidst a snow storm. Viewers get to see Jack’s slow descent into madness as he gets increasingly frustrated about his writing lashing out at his wife. That was the instance I realized that this man had a history of being violent and was also maybe violent towards Danny - which is why their father-son scene where Danny sat on Jack’s lap felt so weird and disturbing. In that scene, Danny asks reassurance from his father about him not hurting them, and Jack follows through. But, Wendy screams at Jack in the following scenes accusing him of hurting his son again, after Danny walks towards them with marks of being strangled on his neck. “Again” is because of a prior incident where Jack hurt his son 5 months ago though he claims it to be a year or so back, if I remember correctly.

The camera pans over to Jack with a face that showed no recollection of him ever laying his hand on Danny so I assumed it was the ghosts. Remember, the ghosts in the hotel, the creepy twins, Danny’s visions, and all. So, Jack investigates and heads on over to Room 237 where he kisses this woman who rots into a dead one before his very eyes. What was striking about that scene was how the camera shifted back and forth from the being Jack was holding in his arms to a dead woman in the bathtub. Really unnerving and made me appreciate the effect of good fast cuts. He assures his wife that there was no ghost - even though this hotel is clearly haunted - and walks out in rage when Wendy says she wants them to leave the place. Moving forward, Jack meets other ghosts like Lloyd the bartender and Grady, a waiter - who just so happened to have the same name as the caretaker who went insane.

At this point, you know that Jack is kind of unhinged, that there really are malevolent spirits in the hotel, that Wendy is helpless, and that Danny is in danger.

So with Jack’s marital troubles, this Grady tells him to “fix” his issues with his wife sharing his story of how he “fixed” it with his. I mean, if that wasn’t a clear clue about the real identity of this I’m-not-the-caretaker-only-the-waiter-Grady then I don’t know what is. This guy also says something peculiar along the lines of, “you have always been the caretaker” to Jack. Jack then goes on a blind rage hunting his family down. But, Wendy manages to defend herself and locks Jack in the pantry or fridge only for him to be released by Grady - though, we do not see Grady actually opening the door for his freedom. While that was happening with Jack, Danny is getting visions and writing REDRUM in the door which Wendy reads as MURDER when reflected by the mirror.

In one scene, Wendy’s acting was so realistic that a Google search revealed to me how the actress playing her, Shelley Duvall, was in such a bad state filming that scene 127 times that those were real tears and she said her hair was falling out. No words from me.

Moving on, Jack tears the door down to get to Wendy with his ax but she slashes his hand so he just marches over to the lobby to kill Halloran who was summoned by Danny to come through their telepathic connection. Wendy gets out and she looks for her son who was running around in the Overlook maze in the snow from his father. And, the film gets more interesting.

Wendy going around the hotel runs into this man in a bear costume performing a sexual act on a man. So were those ghosts or just visions? This was the type of scene you’d just be confused at and forget about amidst the ensuing drama - which will all make a bit of sense in the end. She runs away and sees the visions her son has been seeing like the hotel lobby being filled with blood which was really beautiful and an aesthetically pleasing expression of a scene in my eyes. Meanwhile, Danny being a smart and advanced child manages to trick his father by retracing his steps in the snow so he manages to reunite with his mother and escape using Halloran’s snow car he used to get to the hotel in the storm. Jack freezes to death and then a photo of him is shown in a ball in the hotel dated 1921. Cue end credits.

After the end of the movie, questions come swirling back. Why was Jack in that photo dated 1921? What was the purpose of that man in a bear outfit? What was the significance of REDRUM? What happens afterwards? So were the ghosts real?

And that’s the reason why I had to research and read up on the different theories. Because this movie is just so good that it makes you think, and it doesn’t show horror as something gruesome but something that can actually be treated artfully.

One theory that seemed to fit was how the bear man was actually a symbolism for Jack sexually abusing Danny. In the beginning of the film, there’s a still of Danny being in the same position as the bear man Wendy sees. Danny also lies on a bear pillow in the beginning and clever watchers have noted how Jack reads a magazine with an incest story at the start of the film. For me, Wendy having that vision is the hotel playing on each character’s weaknesses and denials in life. I believe that Wendy actually knew the abuse going on with Danny but she was constantly trying to bury that thought from her mind. Tony, as Danny’s imaginary friend might have been his coping mechanism because of the domestic abuse he was experiencing at home. Grady saying how Jack has always been the caretaker seems relevant after the whole film where the ending shows Jack being in 1921. My personal theory is that Jack and Grady worked together in 1921 and their spirits were both attracted back to the Overlook Hotel where Grady came first, then Jack again as the new caretaker. I don’t think it’s destiny that Jack met an awful fate but there clearly is something about their souls being drawn to that place. I believe that the characters all have baggage and personal trouble that the Hotel manages to get out of them in a violent and undesirable way. With all these sly and subtle details uncovered by audiences, the question pops up: which is real and which is not? Which among the visions or apparitions or other ghosts were actually happening in reality, and which were just happening in their heads?

Knowing that Danny is suffering from the abuse, how do you trust that the things he sees are true? Knowing that Wendy is in denial of aspects in her life, how do you know her view is what is real? How do you know that Jack’s visions are real?

Verdict: WORTH IT | Grade: 4/4

#the shining #1980 #stanley kubrick #shelley duvall #jack nicholson #agirlwritesreviews #what's worth watching these days #wwwtd #worth it #thriller #horror

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danganronpa-21 · 5 years ago

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Hope you don't mind me asking. I'm just curious. What exactly are your problems with Kiyo (besides him being a killer), Kokichi (besides him being basically a killer), and V3 as a whole?

Honestly, sometimes I forget that my opinions are on public display like that on my Amino/Instagram. Especially the Amino ones, cause those are sort of out of date.

Anyway, thanks for asking this question!

I do want to preface this by saying a little something though: My takes on V3 should not be taken as 100% valid! Why, you may ask? Well... confession time, I haven’t played all V3. At the time it came out, I was harshly disinterested. Rather than experiencing it for myself, I chose to read up on it and learn what happened for myself. I’ve never been someone who’s particularly bothered by spoilers (much to the chagrin of literally everyone I’ve ever known), so I didn’t think anything of it at the time. And when I looked in to it, I didn’t like what I read and thought that it was good that I didn’t bother playing it for myself. I felt this way for a long time, rejecting all V3 things, until eventually I was lovingly bullied in to picking up the game myself. So while there are aspects of V3 I have experienced beyond my readings, it’s not done in full for me at all yet, so there could be several gaps in my knowledge or just my feelings. Please don’t take everything I say as my one and only interpretation, because it’s true that many of the feelings I express in my answer could be subject to change. I recognize that these takes aren’t valid because I haven’t experienced the game in full. It’s the same as when someone criticizes Danganronpa 3 without having seen it themselves: sure, you know how it’s written so you have some thoughts on it... but it’s still best to experience it yourself to formulate your own opinions. That’s what I’m intending to do, but I haven’t gotten around to it fully yet... because it’s an experience I’m hoping to share, if I play my cards right.

Really though, if I am to explain the offences I have at the current level of V3 I am on, I would say that each of these three aspects of V3 are explained… probably more simplistically than one would expect. I see a lot of people who have these in-depth reasons as to why they feel so strongly about a certain aspect of Danganronpa, and while I can be that person sometimes… here, not so much.

Besides being a killer, honestly Korekiyo just makes me uncomfortable. Like even beyond the incest thing, there’s something about him that absolutely puts me off. I tried watching his Free Time Events to see if I could stir up some love for him, but I found myself making any excuse to stop every five minutes. I can’t say that I like his design or his mannerisms, and his voice actor communicates Korekiyo’s creepiness well… but I couldn’t find it in me to get past to what some people would refer to as the softer, sweeter aspects of Kiyo. Even the anthropologist element couldn’t save Kiyo for me, and I honestly thought it might. I’ve taken a few anthropology classes myself and I think the topic in itself is interesting enough. However, hearing Kiyo talk about it just either felt boring or off-putting, and I can’t say that I one hundred percent know exactly why that I ended up feeling that way. I suppose it’s fair to say that anthropology is a rather broad topic, and that what Kiyo spoke of in his FTEs wasn’t exactly my point of interest. But if you jump away from the anthropological aspect of Korekiyo, I’m with the majority in saying that the incest thing just made me flat out uncomfortable.

At this point you could absolutely argue that it’s unfair of me to slander Korekiyo for being incesty if another character I love is Kanon Nakajima, a girl who has extreme and obsessive romantic feelings for her first cousin. However, I would justify myself in saying that the primary reason why Kanon works for me and Korekiyo doesn’t all boils down to other aspects of character. Do I think it’s creepy the way Kanon talks about and acts around Leon? Yes, of course. But the thing about Kanon is that she manages to utilize her other traits to become likeable in spite of it. She has all kinds of other quirks and traits that exist outside of being Leon’s creepy cousin who’s in love with him. Her whole presence as a character isn’t for the sake of being chilling, whereas I find much of Korekiyo’s character is to be weird and unnerving. It’s easier to get behind Kanon because I feel like she’s not just madly in love with Leon, but rather has other parts to her existence that are meant to make her realistic outside of it. Korekiyo, while he does have additional character traits, seems to be crafted with the intention of being creepy.

I also know that at this point some people would want to argue that I’ve judged Korekiyo all wrong because his sister manipulated him into loving her and he’s actually an abuse victim, and I won’t dispute them. Do I agree with them? I can’t say, because the interpretation itself is just that: interpretation. Just because another interpreted it that way doesn’t mean that I will interpret something the same way, and so on and so forth. But even the line between “is Korekiyo an abuse victim or not” is something that puzzles me, because otherwise, the wrong person could boil it down to the question of Korekiyo stooping down to the level of his abusive sister by manipulating and murdering Tenko and Angie (and just to be clear, this question is not something that I personally believe). And even if maybe that seems like a far-fetched interpretation that someone could draw, the suggestion that an abuse victim will turn out like their abuser makes me undeniably frustrated. It would send a message that I don’t feel is appropriate in the slightest, and play in to the fear that many real life abuse victims have.

All in all, the way Korekiyo was constructed just doesn’t have what I would call the “Koto appeal”. They simply had a different Danganronpa player in mind when they were designing him, and that’s perfectly fine. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with liking Korekiyo, he’s just very far from my cup of tea.

Something like Kokichi, I would say.

Kokichi already gets a hard time from me because honestly… I don’t find I like characters who are just out to make the player’s life harder. It’s not even a “i’m bad at video games” thing, it’s just that I genuinely find myself frustrated with characters like Byakuya and Nagito sometimes because I’m just trying to do my job, how dare you be trying to screw me up, you little shit!

So he’s already got beef with me right there, especially being the one that’s so much more challenging to fight against than the others. The dude’s high jacking entire trials and you just have to sit there with an “I guess this happening” expression as you try to work out the problem. I already play Danganronpa on gentle because something about the game just makes my inner potato brain skyrocket to like 500%, so Kokichi is kind of a pain in the ass for me. Which I get he’s supposed to be, but I don’t like it.

His character relationships don’t help me, either. While I am fully aware that it’s all an act, the insensitivity is still harmful to the people around him. Yes, he does have this put on for the sake of fulfilling this plan of his and preventing the others from mourning him when he eventually does die. Unfortunately that plan in itself is a problem for me too though, after seeing a fan reconstruction of his plot to avoid the deaths of Gonta and Miu. Which even if it was a necessary sacrifice, makes Kokichi feel slightly more cruel to me -- although I know some may think that it shouldn’t. The behaviour still just sits badly with me, not to mention that even if you consider the inklings of Kokichi being a good guy… I don’t feel as if I can say with confidence really anything about him. Which again falls back on to a personal writing problem with me, because I am entirely an audience who likes to know things. That’s part of the reason why I write fankid fic: because there are things that I like to know that Kodaka will not confirm nor deny for me. So I took matters in to my own hands in hopes of satisfying both myself and others with where things will go. But if I don’t feel like I know Kokichi and my only evidences of him are of him being a jerk, it doesn’t lead me to like him very much.

Which is also what throws me for a loop with Danganronpa V3 as a whole, actually! All of the end revelations got me pretty badly in the sake that I have a vague notion of things that they showed me pregame, but otherwise there’s a lot that the game leaves unanswered. I mean, on the flipside, there’s absolutely evidence that everything we got to see was true… But until I know, I have trouble enjoying V3 totally.

Plus, it also just contains my least favourite cast. I still like some of them, but there are more that I either don’t like or don’t care about. As you mentioned before, I’m not excited about Korekiyo or Kokichi. And maybe I just don’t know anything about them yet, but I’m not terribly interested in Kirumi, Ryoma, Tenko, or Rantaro. I have a little bit of love for characters like Himiko, Gonta, and Tsumugi. And to be fair, I do like Kaede, Kaito, Kiibo, Miu, Maki, and Shuichi a decent amount. But still, compare that to games like Danganronpa 1 where the only character I actively dislike is Hifumi... then it just comes out as my least favourite. Even with Super Danganronpa 2, I have a sort of dislike-like for characters like Nagito and Kazuichi. I don’t completely dislike them in the same way I do some of the characters in V3.

Really, though, I know all of this is stuff that I personally think about V3 is subject to change. After awhile of straight up disliking it and refusing to play it like the stubborn child that I am, I do fully intend to commit myself to the game and maybe change some of my opinions along the way. Sure, it’s fine for me to have some of this opinions and ideas based off of what I do know, but ultimately I know it’s something I have to experience for myself for my take on it to be actually valid.

Hopefully if I can work out the things I need to try and work out, you guys might even be able to watch me experience it for the first time... but that all depends on how well my computer can handle running the appropriate programs simultaneously. Fingers crossed, though!

#danganronpa v3 #Let’s Chat with Koto

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mermaidsirennikita · 7 years ago

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Can I bother you for what your ideal The Borgias show would have been, I know you briefly posted a while back about a Reign type thing and Im crazy intrigued by that, if its not a problem!

No problem!

While I prefer the Showtime version of the Borgia fam, I think there are things to be enjoyed about the Canal version–it just frustrates me that the family never got a TV show that I feel was really, truly, entertaining/good TV? Of course that’s all a matter of opinion, and I’ve only watched the Showtime show through, not the other one, so I can really compare my ideal to that show only.

I feel like with The Borgias, they either should have gone completely dark or completely soapy, and the Showtime show did neither. It would have weird little moments like that lady they for some reason chose to replace Isabella d'Este with killing herself bc her husband forced an abortion on her… or something… But overall, it was a way tamer, way more boring show than what it promoted itself as. It would have events like the Banquet of Chestnuts, an orgy in the Vatican at which the pope was probably present, along with Cesare Borgia and some accounts have even indicated Lucrezia, as some… boring-ass thing where Giulia Farnese blackmails old cardinals through prostitutes. Wow. So sexy. So scandalous. The whole show was basically Neil Jordan trying to figure out his lapsed Catholic guilt, when the Borgia family was a POLITICAL family. Like any other POLITICAL family that used the papacy for POLITICAL means, because the papacy at the height of the Italian Renaissance was a POLITICAL ENTITY. Rodrigo Borgia didn’t spend time struggling with his religion, because he actually was a faithful man and didn’t doubt much of what he did because guess what??? Every other powerful pope or cardinal did similar things except not as well as he did them which is part of the reason why everyone hated the family!!! Cesare Borgia didn’t struggle with his religion bc lol lol he was probably a fucking atheist or at best an agnostic with an interest in paganism. (I didn’t really like how the Canal version dealt with his religion early on–Cesare seems to have treated religion as a means to an end pretty early on.)

So let’s throw out the religious angle, except for in regards to dramatic AF shots of people fucking under a cross or something, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT WE’RE HERE FOR. Honestly? Have Rodrigo Borgia be a political guy, not some doddering ridiculous Jeremy Irons caricature. Have it be very fucking obvious that Giulia Farnese was young enough to be his granddaughter, because she was!!! And she was smart, and her brother eventually became pope, and–so much was wasted about Giulia Farnese.

But my main thing is, you either go as accurate as possible, or you embrace making a show about the myth that the family became, rather than who they really were. I can respect that. I have zero issue with Cesare and Lucrezia being portrayed as incestuous lovers, because that was honestly a big part of who they were. They not only dealt with that (incorrect) rumor being a part of their lives–they had a pretty fucked up relationship without any incestuous considerations. (Rodrigo lusting after Lucrezia, I’m not so hot on, because that rumor seems to have been given a lot less credibility than Cesare banging Lucrezia anyway and honestly… Not here for that. At any rate, Rodrigo really didn’t treat Lucrezia strangely at all, he actually loved her, while Cesare was out killing her husband and being Really Fucking Weird so while Lucrezia didn’t deserve those rumors, Cesare was asking for them.)

If you’re going to embrace the rumors, why not have fun with it the way Reign had fun with things? But with better writing? Have Cesare and Lucrezia be Secret Looooovers. Have Lucrezia be torn between her brother, who she really shouldn’t be fucking because he’s her brother, and his Actual Foil, Alfonso d'Aragon, WHO SHE ACTUALLY LOVES. I hated that Showtime’s Alfonso was this lil dork who got stomped on by everyone–and I hated that Lucrezia acted like she loved him and treated him like shit. Have her fall in love with this guy, and ramp up the tragedy of his death and the real emotional perversion of her ultimately forgiving her brother for his murder. Sort of? Or does she? The Showtime show actually had them mention “odi et amo” to each other but never followed through on the love/hate thing and I hated it. Also? If you’re gonna go for the “Borgia siblings were fucking” things, go balls to the wall with it. Have Juan want in, like David Oakes clearly thought he did bc he played it that way on the Showtime show. Have Cesare and Lucrezia not fuck and spend the rest of the season being like “that was bad” bc lbr it’s more fun to see them revel in it.

But also, make Cesare A BAD PERSON. He was one. Don’t have him be provoked into evil, have him be evil because he’s an ambitious motherfucker who’s good at it. Have him be involved in the Perotto murder, not Juan. Have him get into real fights with his father over power, and not have it all be forgiven~. More likely, Rodrigo Borgia eventually gave Cesare more power because he really had been outclassed by that point–GO WITH THAT STUDENT SURPASSES THE MASTER SHIT. It’s all classic, it’s all right there, it’s basically Trashy Godfather in the Renaissance which is what I thought the Showtime show would be but then it wasn’t. Have Cesare Borgia be “Michael Corleone except he wants to fuck his sister” and basically run with the plot from there.

But also if they were going Full Reign and putting a lot of modern music into it then play a lot of Lana Del Rey you know what I’m saying??? Lorde’s “Everybody Wants To Rule The World” cover is the theme song. Lucrezia shows up to a big party after Alfonso’s death wearing glam Alexander McQueen widow’s wear and Cesare fucks her on the papal throne, idk. GO. WITH. IT.

So yeah, my two ideals would have been either a genuine prestige show that went more with dark realism (maybe with a touch more incest than what happened in reality bc the Borgias are more fun for audiences when they’re incestuous) or a full on “the family sits down to a poisonous dinner with ‘national anthem’ playing in the background” type show.

#i know you said briefly but like #i can't do that #the borgias

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