#viktor is a trans gay man TO ME

[mar-mots]

Okay I must be so annoying to people irl right now as well. All I can think of is Viktor half the time. He is just so *character* to me.

Genuinely transitions goals. He's the charafter that has me eating my walls, the character that has the most swag to me, the character that i've loved since day one.

Every day I say some form of "Save me twink jesus" and no one understands. If they did I fear I would simply perish.

[gildeddlily]

season 2 started off beautifully. I was ecstatic at the end of episode three, for the simple reason that it had the same spirit as season 1. Vi feeling like she made a mistake so big trying to reach Powder instead of seeing Jinx and the danger she represented that the only way to fix that for her was to join her oppressors. Caitlyn destroying all the progress she'd made, unlearning what she'd been taught about Zaun by being with zaunites like Vi, the moment one of them killed her mother, and embracing her roots we can say, talking of bad blood and "I thought you were different"- showing that the internalised racism was always there ready to resurface the moment it had an excuse to. Caitlyn saying that her mother being killed by a teenager who's never dealt with her trauma and mental illness is the same thing as Vi's parents being killed by members of a military institution, disregarding everything she knew about the pain and abuse Vi went through because of the Enforcers. a "men get abused too" situation, in which one ignores the social and historical background of that type of violence to feel less sorry about it. they were perfectly well written, because they are things we see everyday. my father taught me as a child that black people crossing the Mediterranean to look for work in Italy were a good thing, and now that he's had problems at work with one he's started saying the opposite. a gay man I knew laughed at trans folks and said they made things worse for us, ridiculing them in the company of straight people to feel less threatened. (not the exact same thing as what happened to Vi, but you get what I mean).

those are real things, and Arcane has always been good at showing real things.

later on, episode seven, Jayce fell down. he landed in the deepest hole of Zaun, broke his leg, was forced to wear a brace to walk, suffered and had to claw his way back to the surface, to Piltover, in a strange metaphor of Viktor's journey and life (saw a post talking even more beautifully about this, will put the link here if I find it again), and once he met Viktor again, he told him his illness, his legs, he, were beautiful. not despite everything. because of it. and now he can understand him a little more. now he says "your imperfections are beautiful" and we can believe him, because he's not speaking from the perspective of a man trying to convince his friend to stop harming others. he's a man trying to make his partner see that he still loves him, now that he's finally understood him after years of trying to reach the truth and always being stopped by something, and that he understands him enough to know why he's harming others, and that he cares for him enough to think that he will be able to understand why it's wrong. it's Viktor accepting the inevitability of being seen by someone who went to hell and back to reach him.

those were fucking beautiful arcs. they were.

and then?

Vi saw Caitlyn become what she'd always said she wouldn't become, and there were no repercussions. Catelyn got to walk away and live all the same. she lost an eye to Ambessa, but it was no punishment for what she'd done. how many people did she harm? how many people did her actions have repercussions on? Vi shouted at her once, and then it was like it had never happened- which is still real, I guess. it happens everyday. but I didn't see any wish to make us see how that was wrong. I don't want to be told "this is wrong", I'm old enough and smart enough to understand this, but I also think I can see the difference between trying to show deeper meanings and not wanting to deal with difficult plot lines.

and Zaun? it was sad. pathetic. years of abuse were what, forgotten and then vanished in thin air because there was a common enemy? that, sadly, isn't real. it isn't. years or oppression can't be forgotten so easily, not by the oppressed, for one "glorious" fight. it's lazy. what started as a good depiction of reality turned into an american wet dream of big fights and sad sacrifice scenes and epic love stories that cross any difficulty, and economic and social difference. don't you dare say something against Caitlyn and Vi's ending, they went through all that, they deserve nice things. they do. many other people did. no one cared about them tho.

so.

epic failure. good soundtracks tho.

[arcane-confessions]

Viktor means so much to me. I have to hold back tears every time I hear The Line, I SOBBED the first time I listened to it in full.

He's so me!!!! I too am gay asf and hopelessly in love with Jayce Talis. And as an autistic trans guy, trans and autistic Viktor hcs mean sooo much to me 😭 God I need him so bad

I would do anything for that man. I'd be his #1 cult member.

Trans autistic viktor is totally canon omg

[funnyscienceman]

look s2 was ass and i hate ori in a pod and dictator cait shouldve been explored more and so much and so much theres so much wrong with it, the writers were ass, i fucking hate riot, never trust that company for anything ever, AND ALSO jayvik makes me fucking cry man. i was so deadfaced for most of act 3 (aside from bursting into laughter when it got so absurd i felt like i was losing my sanity) but then they started throwing the fucking flashbacks to s1 at you and there was viktor being himself again, happy and funny and him and jayce nerding out over science magic whateverthefuck, and jayce said "all i want is my partner back," and externally i was like slack-jawed, blinking, shocked. like wait really? we're getting a fucking she-ra ending? this couldve been built up to so much better this is coming from fucking nowhere but really?? jayvik is back it's fucking back it's real??!?!??

and it was so overwhelming. internally i couldve been bursting into fucking tears. im still reeling over it more than a week later, like. is this what it felt like when tfgraves finally got to have their thing in pride 2022? people are saying jayce and viktor died in that explosion and maybe, maybe not, but that didn't feel sad to me. i guess it could be, it's impossible for me to take s2 seriously from a storytelling standpoint, but this isn't about that. like. two guys choosing each other over everything and everyone else. the sheer fucking devotion between them that toed the line of text and subtext since season fucking one. it's right there, on full display, center stage, and this is the actual culmination of the story i guess. wasnt set up at all this cast was way too bloated for its own good, but the fact that it exists. the fact that it's been brought to the forefront, they are FORCING YOU to talk about it. that one showrunner fucking lost his marbles on twitter because it was so hard to ignore, because the love there was just so unabashed and shameless and visible

I'm. I dunno. This is dredging up a lot of old feelings of loneliness being a trans gay man feeling like an outsider looking in to the queer community. It's a lot. And it's like conflicting so much with how ass arcane handled both its queers and poc, like as much as i love jayvik i also haaaate how mel and sky got fucking shafted, like did you have to do it like that??? and idk how much of the jayvik ending itself is queerbaiting or crumbs or whatever — if it is at all, idk, im not a philosopher or analyst in that regard — but. i just dont know if i've ever felt so seen. is that even the word for it??? maybe my feelings are just all over the place because it's so fresh? my feelings could change, i dunno. i still dont feel like rewatching s2 in full, all the way through, because it was such a slog and it disrespected 99% of the characters so hard, viktor included (singed got out mostly unscathed and i still consider that a christmas miracle) the most i can handle are individual clips and thinking about jayce and viktor doing like a reverse Weathering With You in that magic space stuff was… what the fuck man. i'm breaking. i'm falling apart.

(throwback to this one thing i doodled aaages and ages ago hdmdhdndnc)

idk. i dunno if any of this made any sense. im like rambling into the void rn. um. sorry this is a mess 👍

[5five5five5five5five5five]

I've been watching top many of Blake Jennings "witch characters from blank can say the bad word for gay 🚬" youtube shorts / tiktoks and have been inspired to make this. (I'm a fruity trans man, i can say it. pls no slur discourse, this is for shits and giggles. not putting it under a spoiler bc i like scaring the straights. this my blog.) luther: no, but has been called one a few times. true ally if I've ever seen one. MIGHT be queer but the show runners never cared enough and its too risky to say yes. diego: he's bi but a bit too cis macho man for his own liking so i feel like he'd be too insecure to say it. he really needs to explore his queerness though, maybe he will find the strength to use his pass one day. Lila can easily help with this. Allison: no but if she called me one, i feel like shes either trying to fit in with the queer siblings....or being s3 Allison, witch are two very different situations........but no. klaus: bitch, he invented the word. that man is very word for queer under the sun and back around. he can say it and says it proudly. Five: thinks he can't, would never want to...... in till he realizes he's queer, then its flying out of his mouth almost daily. i don't even think he has THAT strong of a 🚬pass, he just knows he has one. and whose stopping him? its hilarious. he says it very seriously too and at moments no one would expect. it always jump scares someone. ben: he cant and doesn't want to but he's so used to Klaus saying it that it might slip into conversations. Klaus will never correct him because hearing Ben call him one when mildly frustrated is funny af and he knows theres 0 venom behind it. Ben would feel bad though and apologize. Viktor: he 100% can but doesn't really want to. BUT the local queers around his bar have given him the D word pass and love calling him one. so he calls himself that a lot more. city queers who don't touch queer twitter discourse don't care, that's one if they have ever seen one and they love him dearly.

Lila: shes British. whether she can or not is irrelevant to her saying it anyway with FULL PASSION. (she can btw. that's a nonbinary bisexual who has had cop blood on her boots on numerous occupations.)

bonus: sparrow Ben: he....he really cant guys....please stop letting him get away with this. idc if he's a pathetic wet meow meow and very clearly queer man in s3.....h...he just cant.... no one who gets into crypto can. that's the rules.

[somewheremillo]

Happy pride month everyone!!! For pride I have some LGBTQ+ headcanons for some of my favorite from different media!!!

— Jjk

- Satoru Gojo, Gay (mlm) Trans man

- Suguru Geto, Demiromantic Gay (mlm)

- Megumi Fushiguro, Pansexual (canon) Trans masc

- Nobara Kugisaki, Lesbian Ace

- Yuuji Itadori, Gay (mlm)

— Persona 5

- Goro Akechi, Gay (mlm) trans guy

- Akira Kurusu, Bisexual trans guy

- Futaba Sakura, Lesbian trans fem nonbinary

- Yusuke Kitagawa, Gay (he likes boys)

- Ryuji Sakamoto, Bisexual (fem lean)

— Yuri on ice

- Viktor Nikiforov, Gay (in love with Yuri) Demiromantic aceflux

- Yuri Katsuki, Bisexual (masc lean) on the ace spectrum

- Yuri(o) Pilsetsky, Gay (boy kisser) Trans guy

— Misc.

- Ash lynx, Pansexual Trans guy asexual

- Ranpo Edogawa (BSD), Gay (enjoys Poe), Asexual

- Angel Devil, Pansexual nonbinary (likes masc terms)

-Aki Hayakawa, Achilean

(If any of these are offensive bc of a characters trauma or if perviously confirmed as a different sexuality or gender, please kindly let me know in the notes)

[unscharf-an-den-raendern]

Da ja einige zum Pride Month ihre liebsten queeren Headcanons gepostet haben, hier meine:

Bi Tommy/Tobias Friends to Lovers (bei der "Tommy schreibt Liebesbriefe an Tobias" Storyline in Staffel 17)

Bi David/Hubertus Enemies to Lovers

Aroace Jonny Enns (er hat in Staffel 16 ne Storyline, wo er ein Mädchen küsst, dabei nichts fühlt und bei der Vorstellung an eine gemeinsame Zukunft mit ihr wegrennt. Muss ich noch mehr sagen?)

Aroace Mila in einer queerplatonischen Beziehung mit Dominik

Hear me out: Bi in denial Orkan (Er wollte mit Lennard Küssen üben!)

Bi Viktor (Vela walked so Nolin could run!)

Unlabled Sirius. Er würde sich zwar wahrscheinlich in irgendeinem nicht-binären Label wiederfinden, hat aber keine Lust, sich damit zu beschäftigen. Pronomen: Alle, hauptsache man nennt ihn nicht Heinz.

Lesbian Ava

Trans Joel und entweder pan oder aroace (Sublabel bellusromantic, denn das ist quasi die Definition von "Küssen unter Zimmernachbarn ist kein großes Ding"), aber auf keinen Fall straight.

Aro Julia

Demiromantic Bi Colin

Gay Noah

Pan Chiara (für sie zählt nur die Aurafarbe)

Aroace Annika

Bi Leon & Simon Friends to Lovers

Non-Binary Joshi

Tahmi ist irgendwo auf dem non-binary Spektrum (Pronomen she/they).

[emptymasks]

Thanks for introducing me to Matthew Bourne's swan lake! My brain has now wormed its way into pulling a piece from that version of swan lake into my current Arcane (Viktor x OC) fic! 😊

In all seriousness, I'm a gay trans man who used to dance ballet and hasn't for a long time, and this is the first explicitly gay ballet I've ever seen since getting back into watching it, and it means a lot to me so I just wanted to say thanks and hello.

omg omg you are so welcome!! it's my favourite ballet, it's gorgeous, and as a queer guy yeah it so felt empowering to watch. i love a lot of matthew bourne's ballets, theyre so creative, the only other one i know of that is also gay is his dorian gray ballet but it wasn't filmed like his swan lake has been unfortunately. it's especially sweet to see, even though the story of course deals with sadness and homophobia, swan lake have a gay love story in it as the composer, tchaikovsky, was gay in a time where it wasn't safe for him to be out.

[animentality]

Aaargh the brother bit just pisses me off frankly cuz it seems so out of no where like the writers were like *oh man this is getting pretty gay we should probably dissuade the fans somehow* and then just threw that line in. Just let Jayce have a bisexual crisis! sheesh

to be fair ... and I say this with love...

I honestly don't think Jayvik has that strong of evidence in canon.

I think they could've made it waaaaay more tender and intimate, but as it is now, it's not even really ambiguous.

They have really little hints but nothing more, which is honestly such a shame, because I want to ship them more.

like the whole... Jayce was trying to kill himself when Viktor met him, and then the roles reversing in the end, when Viktor wanted to kill himself... that's good.

but they treat each other so platonically in the show...

you don't really see Jayce treating him with any sort of special care despite knowing Viktor is dying.

there's no real sizzling sexual tension that would warrant a backtrack either.

I honestly think the brother line is really the only hint that they have a very close relationship.

I mostly ship them because I just support gay trans Viktor.

I actually think he deserves a better boyfriend.

Jayce is off having sex with women while he's coughing up his lungs.

that's a bad boyfriend.

[generational-atrophy]

generational atrophy info / masterlist

this account posts nsfw writing, minors will be !BLOCKED! for interacting with said content, but are otherwise welcome.

💮hello and welcome to my page! my name is viktor, im a gay trans man, a punk, a communist, and most importantly, the guy writing the stuff here.

💮 requests are always open, but please understand that my writing takes a long time and my queue is very backed up. if you come into my askbox angry for how long im taking, i won't take your request at all. those are my boundaries.

💮terfs, right wingers, zionists, and anti-kink people do not interact!

💮 please be aware that i post nsfw and triggering content. i currently use the tags (#tw violence, #tw yandere, #tw unhealthy, #tw nsfw, #tw suicide and #tw dead dove do not eat) to tag my content. if you would like something specific to be tagged, just let me know!

💮 im not gonna apologize for hard content. it is your responsibility to keep yourself safe if you are triggered by this content. all kinks are purely fantasy and do not reflect my real life values. leave if you are not ok with this. (i do NOT!!!! write for any underage characters. this is a strict boundary. see the document below for details.)

💮 at one point, i wrote from @bloodyselfshipping.

here is a document which contains detailed information regarding requests as well as a masterlist of all of my works.

(asks may be eaten. feel free to send multiple times.)

[queer-advice-hotline]

hello! found this blog and thought it would be the perfect place to ask this so here goes lol

so, i'm a trans man if that helps. i'm about 99.9% sure that i'm gay and i like men and men only, but there are some exceptions and i was wondering if there was a label for that? i feel like gay or mlm is a bit too narrow for my identity, but queer is way too broad. also, i'm not desperate for a label or anything, just genuinely curious and looking for suggestions so i can express myself properly :) but, like i said, i'm attracted to men and masculine people first and foremost, but there have been more and more exceptions to this that it's becoming a very reoccurring pattern lmao. for example, the men i usually like are tall or skinny or just generally not heavily masculine if that makes sense? take viktor from arcane as an example. of course i still like short and fat men, but i can't help myself with twinks /silly but recently i've noticed that i've become attracted to people of varying identities and there doesn't seem to be a common factor for why i'm attracted to them- at least one i can express other than vibes. for example, there's been an amab genderfluid person who uses any pronouns and has started estrogen and has gotten breasts that i'm highly attracted to, an amab any pronouns user who is trans fem but still has a completely flat chest, an intersex person that uses she/he and is extremely feminine, etc. i'm sorry if this ask is weird or unanswerable, but i'm genuinely looking for any sort of label that could describe me. and thank you so much for reading and giving me your time

You could use omnisexual/romantic, if you wanted. One definition of it is being attracted to all genders, but having a preference, or taking gender into account with your attraction.

[well-what-did-you-expect]

Read Before Anything

What Media I Will Write:

Headcanons

Scenarios

One-Shots

Fics

Random Things I Find/Come Up With

What I Will Write+Keys:

Fluff🩷

Smut❤️‍🔥 [Note: Any smut written includes 18+ characters, I will include the default ages for my written characters]

Platonic Friendship💛

Platonic Family Dynamic💜

Poly Relationships [Can be Fluff or Smut]

What I Won't Write:

Pedophilia

Beastiality

Mostly anything that has to do with bodily fluids/matter [Mainly piss and shit. Blood, vomit, and cum are the only one that will ever be mentioned, but those depend on the writing]

Mostly anything with su!cide [Mentions of SH, thoughts, previous attempts, attempting, it all depends on what the context is]

What I Won't Tolerate:

Discrimination [Any homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, ableism, etc.]

Minors interacting with 18+ writings

Picking on others [Picking on someone because they think different things than you do about a character, because they don't like your favorite character, just don't do that here]

Fandoms I Will Write For:

Creepypasta

Harry Potter

Supernatural

The Umbrella Academy

TMNT 2012

Blue Exorcist

Criminal Minds

Characters I Will Write For+Basic Info:

Creepypasta

Jeff the Killer [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [20, Bi, He/Him]

BEN Drowned [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [19, Pan, He/They]

Eyeless Jack [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [24, Bi+Demi, They/He/It]

Homicidal Liu+Sully [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [22, Bi+Demi, They/He]

'Ticci' Toby [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [20, Pan, They/He]

Possibly More If They Are Requested

Harry Potter

Harry Potter [🩷💛💜] [16, Bi, He/Him]

Ron Weasley [🩷💛💜] [16, Pan, He/They]

Hermione Granger [🩷💛💜] [16, Pan, She/Her]

Draco Malfoy [🩷💛💜] [16, Gay, He/Him] [Note: Sorry ladies, but my Draco is a men liker, not a women enjoyer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

Neville Longbottom [🩷💛💜] [16, Pan, He/They]

Ginny Weasley [🩷💛💜] [15, Bi, She/They]

Luna Lovegood [🩷💛💜] [15, Pan, Any Prns] [Note: My Luna does not have time to worry about gender. You can use any pronouns for her! They don't care!]

•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

James Potter [🩷💛💜] [17, Pan, He/Him]

Sirius Black [🩷💛💜] [17, Gay, He/She] [Genderfluid Icon!!]

Remus Lupin [🩷💛💜] [17, Bi, He/Him]

Lily Evans [🩷💛💜] [17, Bi, She/Her]

Mary MacDonald [🩷💛💜] [17, Bi, She/Her]

Marlene McKinnon [🩷💛💜] [17, Lesbian, She/They]

Regulus Black [🩷💛💜] [16, Gay, He/Him] [Trans Icon!!]

Dorcas Meadows [🩷💛💜] [17, Lesbian, They/She]

Supernatural [Ages Aren't Included Due To Multiple Seasons So Age Varies] [S1-S10]

Dean Winchester [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [Bi, He/Him]

Sam Winchester [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [Pan, He/Him]

Castiel [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [Pan, He/They]

Charlie Bradbury [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [Lesbian, She/Her]

Gabriel [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [Pan, He/They]

The Umbrella Academy [S1-S2]

Luther Hargreeves [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [29, Straight, He/Him]

Deigo Hargreeves [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [29, Bi, He/Him]

Allison Hargreeves [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [29, Bi, She/Her]

Klaus Hargreeves [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [29, Pan, He/They]

Number Five [🩷💛💜] [Pan+Ace, He/Him] [Note: This 58 y/o man has a 13 y/o body. Big reminder of that. Also my Five is Ace. Just because pretty boy doesn't mean sexualise]

Ben Hargreeves [🩷💛💜] [Pan+Demi, He/They] [Note: Yes, Ben is a ghost. When writing for him, reader will either be a ghost as well or Ben just straight up didn't die ¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

Vanya Hargreeves [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [29, Sapphic, They/She] [Note: I am aware that Vanya is Viktor, but I will be writing Viktor as Vanya because I am only writing from before Season 3, before he got his gender transed. Don't come at me for being transphobic]

TMNT 2012 [S1-S4]

Leonardo Hamato [🩷💛💜] [16, Pan, Any Prns] [Note: My Leo is genderfluid]

Raphael Hamato [🩷💛💜] [16, Bi, He/They]

Donatello Hamato [🩷💛💜] [16, Bi, He/Him]

Michelangelo Hamato [🩷💛💜] [16, Pan, He/They/It] [Note: My Mikey is FtM]

Casey Jones [🩷💛💜] [16, Bi, He/They]

Master Splinter [💜] [Father Splinter Only]

Blue Exorcist [S1-S2]

Rin Okumura [🩷💛💜] [16, Bi, He/They/It]

Yukio Okumura [🩷💛💜] [16, Bi, He/Him]

Shiemi Moriyama [🩷💛💜] [16, Pan, She/Her]

Izumo Kamiki [🩷💛💜] [16, Lesbian, She/They]

Ryūji Suguro [🩷💛💜] [16, Bi, He/They]

Renzō Shima [🩷💛💜] [16, Bi, He/Him]

Konekomaru Miwa [🩷💛💜] [16, Pan, He/Him] [Note: My Koneko is FtM]

Criminal Minds [Ages Aren't Included Due To Multiple Seasons So Age Varies] [S3-S7]

Spencer Reid [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [Bi, He/They]

Emily Prentiss [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [Lesbian, She/Her]

Jennifer Jareau [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [Bi, She/Her]

Penelope Garcia [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [Pan, She/Her]

Derek Morgan [🩷❤️‍🔥💛💜] [Not-Strictly Straight ($20 is $20 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯), He/Him]

Aaron Hotchner [🩷💛💜] [Straight, He/Him]

David Rossi [💛💜] [He/Him]

[kammartinez]

By Gina Chua

There’s a scene in the third season of Netflix’s hugely popular “The Umbrella Academy” where Elliot Page’s character, sporting a new, short haircut, walks up to the other members of the titular superhero team to suggest a plan.

There’s a derisive response from one of them: “Who elected you, Vanya?”

Page glances around, slightly tentative. “It’s, uh, Viktor.”

“Who’s Viktor?”

The subtitles describe “dramatic music playing” as members of the group eye one another. Page hesitates for a second. “I am. It’s who I’ve always been.” Another beat. “Uh, is that an issue for anyone?”

There’s little hesitation: “Nah, I’m good with it.” “Yeah, me too.” “Cool.”

And thus plays out what might be the most mundane — and yet quietly empowering — depiction of gender transition in popular culture I’ve ever seen. Were Page’s real-life journey to transition only as simple, straightforward or well received.

Instead, as he details in a brutally honest memoir, “Pageboy,” his life story was marked by fear, self-doubt, U-turns, guilt and shame, before he ultimately seized control of his own narrative.

A child actor from Canada who burst onto the scene at the age of 20 with a breakout performance in the title role of “Juno” in 2007, Page went on to take roles in films that ranged from indie (“Whip It,” “Freeheld”) to blockbusters (“Inception,” “X-Men: Days of Future Past”).

But fame didn’t free him to explore his identity; instead it trapped him into a role studios wanted him to play, offscreen as well as on, as an attractive young starlet.

Much of the memoir — told in non-sequential flashbacks and flash-forwards — centers on Page’s path to understand who he really was, against a backdrop of bullying, eating disorders, stalking, sexual harassment and assault. Page grew up in Nova Scotia, the child of divorced parents — a less than loving father and a mother hoping against hope for a more conventional child than the gender outlaw she seemed to be raising.

“Can I be a boy?” Page asked his mother at the age of 6. He found escape in solitary play and a rich fantasy life that ultimately blossomed into a career as an actor.

The nonlinear structure makes following a clear narrative difficult, but that’s less important than seeing, through his eyes, how Page slowly pieces together a clear sense of himself. In that, it follows a tradition of trans memoirs, from Jennifer Finney Boylan’s “She’s Not There” to Janet Mock’s “Redefining Realness” to Thomas Page McBee’s “Man Alive,” among others, that explore how we explore our identities.

From furtive, closeted relationships — he relates how he held hands under a blanket with his then-partner as they were bused from location to location while working on a film together — to coming out as gay in 2014 (“more a necessity than a decision,” he writes), Page flirted with, but backed away several times from, the notion that he might be trans.

“My shoulders opened, my heart was bare, I could be in the world in ways that felt impossible before,” he writes of coming out as gay. “But deep down an emptiness lurked. That undertone. Its whisper still ripe and in my ear.”

It’s in that tortured, contradictory internal monologue — familiar to other trans people as we contemplate what seems to be an extraordinary, unimaginable truth — that “Pageboy” is most powerful. Page doesn’t really delve into questions of masculinity, or what it means to be a man, but he brings to life the visceral sense of gender dysphoria, or at least one type of dysphoria: the sense that your body is betraying you. It’s an utterly alien sensation for those who haven’t experienced it:

Imagine the most uncomfortable, mortifying thing you could wear. You squirm in your skin. It’s tight, you want to peel it from your body, tear it off, but you can’t. Day in and day out. And if people are to learn what is underneath, who you are without all that pain, the shame would come flooding out, too much to hold. The voice was right, you deserve the humiliation. You are an abomination. You are too emotional. You are not real.

Moments of joy pierce “Pageboy” as well: his first real queer kiss; scenes of passionate sex; the blossoming of his relationship with his mother after he came out; the reflection of his flat chest in the mirror.

Page disclosed his transition in December 2020, a few weeks before I did the same. I suspect he, like me, had been prepared for a future where trans lives would be broadly accepted, or at least tolerated, albeit with sporadic incidents of hate. Both of us inhabit left-leaning spaces (media, movies) where the appearance of support is de rigueur.

How could we have expected instead the tidal wave of anti-trans animus that is surging across the right, with hundreds of bills proposed — and some passed — in state legislatures that would in some cases bar adults from accessing trans care; undermine private insurance; allow medical personnel to discriminate against transgender patients; and restrict performances by drag performers and trans people, including possibly Page.

Trans men and women are attacked in very different ways. Trans women are demonized as sexual predators; trans men, when people think of them at all, are portrayed as misguided and misled girls and women, confused and unable to understand their own identity. “When I came out in 2014, the vast majority of people believed me, they did not ask for proof,” Page writes. “But the hate and backlash I received were nothing compared to now.”

It was an unwelcome regression to a time studios controlled his public persona: “I am sick of the creepy focus on my body and compulsion to infantilize (which I have always experienced, but nothing like this). And it isn’t just people online, or on the street, or strangers at a party, but good acquaintances and friends.”

Still, Page has no shortage of fans as well, vociferous defenders of possibly the most famous trans man in the world, and one whose onscreen portrayal of a superhero offers an alternative conception of masculinity rooted in inner strength and sensitivity rather than brawn and muscles.

His character’s arc from Vanya to Viktor offers hope, too, of a world where transition is matter-of-fact, accepted — and incidental. “Truly happy for you, Viktor,” another “Umbrella Academy” member concludes.

Page and the showrunner Steven Blackman were at pains to ensure his character’s journey reflected the nuances of real trans lives, not least that being trans was a character trait, not the defining one. They brought in McBee to weave an authentic narrative into what was then an already tightly packed and carefully scripted season.

In the memoir, Page reflects on his complex relationship with store windows, and his image in them — a reminder, pre-transition, of a body and identity he saw but did not want to inhabit. McBee crafted that memory into another telling “Umbrella Academy” scene, where Page’s Viktor pauses in front of a storefront and is asked what he sees.

“Me.” A smile and a shrug. “Just me.”

Truly happy for you, Elliot.

[kin-one-kin-all]

About The Mod

My name is Mod Shaun, Mod Stefan or MS.

Please refer to me with he/him/his, it/it/its cy/cyb/cyber, glitch/glitch/glitches or [redacted]/[redacted]/[redacted]s

I am the median subsystem host of a traumagenic system. We're white and an adult, both bodily as also in headspace.

I am an aromantic gay trans man.

We're fictive heavy.

I use singular and plural first person pronouns interchangeably.

(shortened) Kinlist:

Otherkin

Shapeshifter

Android

Fictionalter

Dragonborn

Taranatula

Fictive parts

Shaun Hastings (Assassin's Creed)

Elijah Miles (Assassin's Creed)

Hiccup (How To Train Your Dragon [movies])

Captain Blake (Mr Hurley Band Lore)

Boromir (Lord of The Rings)

James Moriarty (Sherlock Holmes, AU/adaptation kin)

Basil Hallward (The Picture of The Dorian Gray)

Maxwell Roth (Assassin's Creed: Syndicate)

The Ninth Doctor (Doctor Who)

Introjects within our main system

James Norrington (Pirates of The Carribbean, fanfic sourced)

John Nolan (The Rookie)

Wesley Evers (The Rookie)

James Murray (The Rookie)

Geralt (The Witcher Netflix)

Ciri (The Witcher Netflix)

Agent Smith (The Matrix)

Viktor Frankenstein (Frankenstein)

The Captain (BBC Ghosts)

Gavin Reed (Detroit: Become Human)

Viggo Grimborn (Dragons: Race To The Edge)

Dorian Gray (The Picture of Dorian Gray)

Crowley (Good Omens)

Aziraphale (Good Omens)

The Master (Doctor Who)

The roach from this video (internet/meme introject)

Nikola Tesla (factive)

Ben (IRL factive)

[starcrossed--lovers]

Heya! Welcome to my blog!

The name's Viktor, but feel free to call me whatever you'd like! It's about time a new intro post was made!

I'm an adult (21 as of right now) trans man who's very gay and has a huge soft spot for nonhuman characters! I'm also a polyamorous shipper! (I interact off of @ghostly-ghouls)

I have a Carrd, but I also have a list of my main F/Os listed below for you! Small thing to note: If we share an F/O that I'm uncomfortable with sharing I'd appreciate it if you didn't interact. However, if we're already mutuals feel free to tag it as 'Vik don't look ' or something akin to it ^^

OH AND A NOTE!! PR.OSHIP/CO.MSHIP DNI, YOU ARE NOT, AND NEVER WILL BE, WELCOME HERE

Main F/O list below cut <3

~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~

those with a / inbetween them means it's a poly ship!

♡~ F/Os ~♡

• Yagi Toshinori (My Hero Academia) - Uncomfortable Sharing

• Percival de Rolo (The Legend of Vox Machina) - Comfortable Sharing

• Shota Aizawa (My Hero Academia) - Comfortable Sharing

• Childe/Ajax (Genshin Impact) - Comfortable Sharing

• Ulysses (Fallout: New Vegas) - Comfortable Sharing

• John Hancock (Fallout 4) - Uncomfortable Sharing / Nick Valentine (Fallout 4) - Comfortable Sharing

• Howdy Pillar (Welcome Home) - Comfortable Sharing

[the-mocking-robin]

Viktor headcanons to start this blog being multi muse:

He's a pacifist! Moreso when in specifically Arcane universes, but every iteration of my take on Viktor has a fundamental reluctance to take life purposefully.

Will he fight? If he feels he has to. Between Arcane and League of Legends, it gets complicated where that line is, but Arcane Viktor will refuse to fight unless literally cornered and forced to be confrontational.

League Viktor has an easier time deciding he can't wait til it's almost too late, and hits very precisely. Not hard, he has almost no real body strength to him (dumb cyborg), but where he does aim to hit is meant to put you down fast. He doesn't like killing, but he'll sometimes decide that's the best course of action.

Viktor knows a lot of useful little skills. Sewing is a big one for him, having to keep his clothes together or make his own. He's also held several small jobs while trying to study for acceptance into Piltover's academy.

His more frequent job included being a tutor. His second most frequent was in a clothes factory in Zaun. He's the only one who knew how to fix those older sewing machines when they broke down.

He's orphaned, but he's also very well known by the little old ladies at the ports. They make sure he has a little something to eat for helping them get small deliveries out of learning about which trade ships were coming through.

Ryze is his bio dad. Every universe. Don't ask me why, it's almost never going to be relevant.

Mom's dead. She died from the same sickness that has Viktor disabled. He went to the hospital young and had a fear of people Watching him for the longest time. Not hospitals specifically, but people looking at him expecting something and being unable to do anything.

Trans man. Gay as shit. Unfortunately, Jayce is very nearly his perfect man. Nearly.