#because you had me wasting my now-limited time on new stupid bullshit!!!!!!!!
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ghostzzy · 5 months ago
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brilliant of my boss to assign me a new extremely time-intensive task the week before halving my hours.
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doppopoppo · 3 years ago
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Bundle of Feelings
|| Uramichi Daily Headcanon ||
|| Warnings: married, minor cussing, angst, argument ||
|| Uramichi • F!Reader || 
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Silence.
Everything was silent. 
The only thing that could be heard were the trees rustling outside. The curtains swaying softly and hitting the glass door. The fridge is running in the background. And the heavy breathing of two adults. Hearts pounding in their chests. Both afraid the other may hear their heart wanting to explode into a volcanic mess. 
Otherwise, silence. 
Y/N hasn’t seen her husband this mad since she last saw him interact with his father. Uramichi was red in the face, a scowl permanently settled atop his facial features. The way he was holding her hand, squeezing it tightly for mental support. She doesn’t even remember what they were even arguing about, as her father-in-law bickered about the most minuscule of things. 
Today, however, Uramichi’s anger was directed at her. She had thrown out all of his beer and cigarettes. His wife was tired of having to deal with a drunk husband more nights than she wanted. Only sleeping when he was wasted and slurring out cuss words. The heavy smell of tobacco following his trail, making her scrunch up her nose in disgust. Coughing whenever she walks by as he puffs out smoke. None of these were healthy coping mechanisms. She genuinely wanted to help her husband figure out and find better alternatives. Healthier options. One that wouldn’t harm his health. 
As a gymnast, shouldn’t he know better? 
Little did she know, her actions would cause Uramichi to have an outburst. The most the two fought over what to eat for dinner, junk food or protein filled. He began the argument by yelling at her. Then proceeded to belittle her, what can she know? How stupid can she be? 
She cried and tried to calm him down, but he wouldn’t listen. “It's for your own good!” Y/N sniffled, “why can’t you see that?” She was hugging her own body. Unsure if it was for comfort or out of fear; maybe both? 
Uramichi sighed and rubbed his forehead, “I’m a grown man. I can make my own fucking choices for fucks sake, Y/N!” He’s never used such vulgar vocabularies with her before, this was a first. 
She didn’t want to change Uramichi, instead help diminish the fire inside of him. The one his father lit and kept throwing gasoline at it. 
“You won’t grow like this, dear. If you want a brighter future and to help your depression, we need to start fixing your bad habits.” She emphasized ‘we’. Because they were in this together. 
Uramichi had yet another strenuous day at work, all he wanted was to drink beer until he passed out. His wife’s cuddles no longer lulled him to sleep. Her sweet whispers felt meaningless. Only cigarettes could help him calm his mind down. Yet, she still tried to reason with him. Saying bullshit about seeing a therapist, hanging out with friends more often, or going outside that’s not the gym. 
“I know your fathers did horrible things to you. Such as forcing you into something you didn’t want to do. But you have to stop living in the past. Stop blaming your father for your future, which is your present now.” His wife tried to get close to him to bring him into a hug. 
Enraged at her words, “Oh my god, I could just hit you right now!” Uramichi threw the nearest dumbbell to him across the room. She heard a vase shatter, the one that was a hand me down from her mother. 
“What the hell do you know!? You’ve lived a nice and spoiled life, no inch of worries. No wonder you’re such a stubborn brat half the time.” His words were like a sharp knife cutting through her heart. 
She bent down over the broken pieces of vase. Shattered just like her heart. Uramichi’s eyes and mind were clouded in red rage. He hasn’t realized he broke an important item. One that was personally given to them by his mother-in-law. The woman who entrusted her daughters happiness to him. 
“Stop.” Y/N whispered. “Stop this right now!” She shouted at him. New, hot tears fell from Y/N’s eyes as she held into the broken vase pieces. She was in shock that her husband was willing to get physical over beers and cigarettes. This wasn’t what he promised to her on the day of their wedding vows. 
“You’re no different from your father, Uramichi.” She stood up. “An abuser raised another abuser. I can’t have this cycle continue.” Y/N went to put on her coat. 
“Where do you think you’re going?” Uramichi was irritated that she had the audacity to leave in the middle of an argument. 
“Our child doesn’t need to witness what you witnessed your father do to you.” His wife glared at him. 
Those words flipped a switch inside Uramichi. Child? But they didn’t have any children. Then it clicked, his wife was pregnant. Was that the real reason she wanted him to stop? Why didn’t she say so in a better way then? It was too late to ask her these though, because she already left the apartment. 
The small apartment that used to be lovely thanks to his wife, now felt cold and lonely. The way it was before she came into his life. He took a look around the room and saw the mess he made. It might’ve been minor, but it left a big impact. Uramichi noticed the important vase he broke and ran out the door to catch up to his wife. Though she was nowhere to be seen. He sighed and went back inside and laid down on the couch. He screwed up big time. 
When morning came, it was raining but the smell of food tickled his senses and woke him up. He slowly got up from the couch and went towards the kitchen. He found his wife in her favorite apron cooking breakfast. 
“Morning.” She chirped. “I’m making American style sausage with scrambled eggs! Go sit at the table in the living room, I’ll be there in a minute.” 
Questions ran through his head as he sat at the table on the floor. The broken vase pieces are gone, but so is the vase. Y/N’s eyes looked empty, betraying the big smile she displayed. He saw his wife bring the food to the table. He quickly got up and helped her. Likewise, he went to grab some additional items to set up the table for breakfast. Was last night a dream? No it couldn’t be. 
The question was itching in Uramichi’s throat, he had to ask. “Why?” 
Y/N looked up from her place, “why what?” 
“Why'd you come back? I even broke your mother’s case.” He thought she walked out for good. He threatened to hit her. He vowed to never be like his father, and that’s exactly who he became last night. His nightmare coming to reality. 
Y/N put her fork down, “Listen, we are married, way passed the dating phase. On our wedding day we vowed to love each other until death do’s us apart. It is both of our responsibilities to make sure the other is doing okay. Physically and mentally. You’re always there for me, dear. I want to be here for you this time, in what I think will help you. I’m sorry I threw out your beer and cigarettes without discussing it with you. I just want  to see you make healthier choices for yourself.” she put her hand over his. “I found out about the baby after I made the decision a while back. It’s another reason now why I would like for you to stop, but the main reason here is you. This is about you and us helping you.” she stared at his eyes. “I don’t wish to change you, but help you. As for the vase, you can buy me another one.” She winked and giggled. “As long as we’re fine, it’s all that matters.”
It was a big change she was asking him to make. But he can take small steps. That’s what the couple decided on. To limit his alcoholic intake to certain days of the week. Same with his smoking. He didn’t have to quit, but he was trying not to be dependent on it. He has the strongest support laying next to him at night. Holding him tightly. Uramichi was truly excited to know he’ll become a father! He’s nervous, but he knew he’s not alone. He thinks about what he can do to be a better father than his was.
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Author’s Note:
He needs a hug. And a raise.
Remember, who your parents are don’t define you. If something happened in the past, don’t let it define you and who you are today. It might hold you back from growing. Just remember to take care of your mental health! 💜
Enjoy!
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l1teraryangel · 2 years ago
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Halloween Haunts (Ch. 2)
Warnings: Suicide Mention, Self-Harm Mention
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Why, Bakhura wondered, did the gods allow his mind, body, and soul to be brought back without access to the mindlink he and Ryou once shared? Didn’t their bond extend beyond host and parasite, ringbearer version one and two? Shouldn’t two bound souls share a private channel? Because it certainly would come in handy right about now.
The lockers blurred on either side of him, adrenaline dulling the environment he flew by. He’d taken too long recovering from that kick, wasting too much time turning the corner. He couldn’t see or hear Ryou anymore. Each new hall he darted through only further muddled his sense of direction. For all he knew, Ryou wasn’t even on this floor anymore. 
“Fuck this!” He snarled, sliding to a stop. “I’m not gonna find him by running around blindly. Spirits forgive me, but I could really use the damn ring at a time like this.”
Said ring might be in the sand pits of an ancient burial ground, but he wished for a miracle, a bit of godly bullshit and trickery, anything that could materialize it around his neck. Of course, it didn’t happen, and he made a mental note to add this to his list of reasons to hate the gods.
Slumping against a wall, Bakhura held his head and closed his eyes. “Think, Touzoku-Ou. You have more firsthand experience with ghosts than anyone. What does a ghost want with Ryou?” He chuckled mirthlessly. “To possess him. That make’s sense. It’s digging at his mind, influencing him, to lower his defenses and isolate him into a perfect target. How do I stop it?”
He reached inside his pocket and unfolded the map, examining the red markings Malik and Ryou had made. “The ghost will be trapped near its place of death. That’s where its power is. That’s where it will want Ryou to go.” 
His fingertip traced the path from the front entry to the stairwell, the stairwell to the hall where Ryou kicked him, and he scowled, annoyed by his own stupidity. When he chased after his boyfriend, he panicked. Without any idea what turns he took, the damn school looked like a maze to him. 
“I bet it’s the classroom ghost,” He muttered, stabbing the circled room with his finger. “Since Malik’s clearly got the roof ghost riding his ass… If I can figure out where I am, I can find my way to that damn classroom and get Ryou the hell out of here. By then, Kek should be able to drag Malik’s skinny butt down and out.”
He nodded to himself, folding the map into his sweatpants, and stretched his body back onto his feet. Faint moonlight glowed through the windows, and his eyes fleeted amidst the thick darkness, trying to find a classroom number or name. His years of operating on a nocturnal schedule paid off when his adjusted eyes found a room number at last. Leaning back on his knowledge of Japanese schools from Ryou, Bakhura calculated the room he needed should be a hop and skip down one hall after the current one.
Although he carried himself confidently along his set path, his bunched brow and narrow eyes betrayed his concern. The ghost taunted Kek by mentioning Malik might dance himself off the roof, so what might it do to Ryou? His only conconsolation came from the limited time frame of the so-called ‘Witching Hour’ — surely at least twenty minutes had come and gone? Forty minutes left a lot of chance for unspeakable horrors to occur, but it was better than a full hour.
Before he could dwell too much on his worries, the room where at least one identified hotspot resided caught his eye. Bakhura battled with being cautious and being quick, but his troubled mind outweighed his wiser instincts. The door stuck as he tried to push it open, so he tensed his thigh and calf muscles and bashed his foot into the stubborn obstacle.
Right away, he noticed a slit of moonlight illuminating the room from above, a spotlight in pure blackness. There were no windows, and the class, bare of furniture and hidden by shadow, felt more like a prison or cage. Vigilant, his violet eyes scanned the dark crevices, but even his night vision had limits.
He only managed one step over the threshold before a voice greeted him. Its feminine, youthful pitch skimmed his ears, tickled the back of his neck, and chilled his flesh.
“Hello. Have you come to explore Kobayashi High like the other two?”
He saw her then, peeking at him within the voidlike space, visible through the sliver of light. Her face, from what he saw, was pristine, no evident signs of foul play or distress tainting her alabaster skin. Her hair hung in a short bob around her chin, black enough to blend with the darkness surrounding her. A navy blue skirt fluttered by her ankles, and its matching top covered every inch of skin above her waist and below her neck, save for her wrists and hands.
“Alright, Ghostie, I’m not in the mood to exchange pleasantries,” Bakhura growled and tapped his foot, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Where’s Ryou?”
She floated, inhumanly smooth, nearer. Through the light, she exposed more of her transparent spirit form. Her skirt became less visible the farther down his eyes traveled, and her feet were more of a suggestion, faint enough to play tricks on the mind.
“There are two boys who come here every year on this night. Which one are you seeking?”
“Don’t play games. White hair, brown eyes. Where is he?”
She tapped her chin, thoughtful eyes grazing over his corporal form with a hint of envy. “I know the one you speak of. He likes the occult, perhaps a bit more than is healthy, but his energy is strong and pure. He has witnessed and experienced many supernatural events.”
Bakhura’s voice, like his patience, dropped dangerously low. “I don’t need your fucking analysis of my boyfriend. Where! Is! He!”
Tucking her knees to her stomach and crossing her arms, the ghost inched closer and closer. With every bit of lost distance, she brought a mighty miasma down on Bakhura’s shoulders. Suffocating, crushing, like she was holding his lungs in her hands and squeezing the air from them. He stood his ground, staring her down without a flinch, silently daring for her to try anything.
“You needn’t be rude,” She chastised, but her expression softened, and a bit of the weight lifted from his shoulders. “I am not the one who is possessing your ‘Ryou.’ In fact, I am not possessing any of your friends. I have no desire to take the bodies of others, for I know I cannot live again.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Oh, really? By all means, then, who is possessing him?”
Her eyes flickered back to her corner of shadows, and her irises, faded and lifeless as they were, captured a fraction of light. They shone gold, like the bracelets and rings he wore or the trinkets he stole, and something about the young girl tugged at his heart, reminded him of his own ghosts. Maybe it was her premature death — beautiful but frozen in the body of a child no older than sixteen. Or maybe it was the way she stared, unbothered and accepting of his anger, twinges of sorrow and longing for life lost trapped in her immortal eyes.
“I believe,” She replied, a whisper drifting on a ghostly breeze, “Aigawa Touma-san is the one controlling him.”
“And who would that be?”
“A boy, one year younger than I was, who took his own life.”
Bakhura’s body tensed, glimpses of Ryou’s wrists playing through his head. “Why?”
The girl rotated, floating on her back in front of him, eyes withdrawing into her own memories. “A lot of reasons, none of them worth dying over, as is usually the case.”
She fell silent, reaching for the ceiling blankly as if it were a lover trying to pull her closer, or perhaps she wanted to study the unmoving hands of her wristwatch. Either way, the barest bit of life once again lit up her eyes. 
Though her lack of hostility and willingness to speak with him restored some patience, Bakhura couldn’t keep a sigh from slipping through his gritted teeth. “Could you please elaborate beyond one or two sentences at a time? I need to find Ryou, and you’re not giving me enough info to know where to look.”
“I can tell you what I know, if you desire,” She answered nonchalantly. He nodded, and she continued, “Then, let me introduce myself, please.”
She corrected her spiritual body into an upright, standing position, though the weak outline of her feet hovered a meter off the ground. Dipping her head and extending her skirt, she greeted him in a proper curtsy.
“My name is Gima Kiyo. As I am dead, please feel free to refer to me informally.” She met his eyes, and Bakhura raised an eyebrow at the shy smile she offered. “When I lived, I was a medium. Or, rather, I was training to be one. My abilities were still raw, so my teacher said.
“The Aigawa family hired me after the death of their son. The official report, by both the school and police, was that Aigawa-san took his own life by leaping from the roof. They wanted to sue the school for not installing a fence on the roof, but the school argued the door to the roof was always locked. My understanding from other students who knew Aigawa-san was he knew how to disable the lock and enjoyed going out on the roof to dance.”
“Mmhm, dancing in the moonlight. Sounds like so much fun, but the roof is a lot smaller than you realize when you’re jumping around up there.”
Bakhura blanched, a tremor in his left hand. His ghost companion went on with her story.
“One day, he went out on the roof like normal. Unbeknownst to his family and teachers at the time, Aigawa-san was being bullied over a rumor regarding his sexuality. As an only child, Aigawa-san held a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. Dancing was his outlet, but it made him an easy target for such rumors, as I’m sure you can understand.
“Haku Ai-san was his best friend from childhood, and she is the one who confided in me about the rumors. I didn’t need extrasensory abilities to know she was wracked by guilt. I dug around more, and I found why: the source of the rumor was none other than Haku-san’s boyfriend, Nonaka Yori-san. Apparently, from what my sources told me, he was jealous over the amount of time Haku-san spent with Aigawa-san and wanted to ‘put him in his place.’”
Nodding, Bakhura massaged his temples. “Okay, I get it. So that’s why he’s still around. He’s pissed that his life was ruined by stupid bullshit. If he’s possessing Ryou, though… Who is possessing Malik?”
Kiyo tilted her head. “The blonde boy who accompanies your Ryou-san, yes? Going off what I sensed earlier, I believe Haku-san is responsible.”
“Wait, the friend with the dumbass boyfriend? She’s dead?”
“Indeed. I haven’t been able to speak to her on this side. Her aura is dangerous and quite intoxicating. I can’t say for certain, because it was still being investigated at the time I died, but I believe she was killed by Nonaka-san. The rumor was that he pushed her down the stairs in a fit of rage while they were arguing.”
Bakhura gaped, dumbstruck, at the matter-of-fact spirit floating in front of him. “You’re telling me this prick ruined a kid’s life out of jealousy, drove him to suicide, and then he killed the girl he was getting jealous over? In what world does that make sense?”
A bitter smile replaced her pragmatic expression. “The human one. Emotions drive us to do crazy, nonsensical things, don’t they?”
Unable to argue, especially given his past, Bakhura scratched his head and turned to leave. “Alright, thanks for the info. I gotta find Ryou and make sure Kek got Malik out of here.”
“You should know we are not the only three spirits roaming these halls.”
Freezing mid-step, Bakhura spun back around. “What are you talking about?”
“There is a fourth soul, far more dangerous than the rest of us. Nonaka Yori-san. He, too, resides here. And unlike Aigawa-san, who is hurt and resentful, or Haku-san, who is angry and full of unspent tears, Nonaka-san is simply… enraged. His entire being is consumed by it, and he seeks to harm others. Normally, he is not strong enough to leave the basement, but the power of tonight has cast his foul miasma over the whole school.”
“You’re fucking kidding, right? How did he die?” Bakhura held up his hand as she opened her mouth. “You know what, never mind. Don’t care. Doesn’t matter. If he’s as vengeful as you say, though, I gotta get going.”
He barely poked his head back into the hallway when she called out after him, “One more moment, if you would be so kind?”
Peering over his shoulder, Bakhura rapped his fingertips on the wall. “Make it fast, kiddo.”
She fumbled with her hands, eyes dropping to the floor. In her awkwardness, her youth stood stark compared to her earlier persona of calm. “I died before I could complete my duties, and even in death, I have been unable to put the spirits of my fellow students to rest.”
There was a break in her words, so Bakhura waved to her, a silent “And?” conveyed by the action. She hesitated, but his unwavering gaze seemed to encourage her.
“Once you and your friends are safe, would you please contact Endo Masashi? He was my mentor, and I believe he and his fellow specialists would be able to finish what I started. I fear my own spirit will not be able to rest until the spirits of Haku-san and Aigawa-san are at peace.”
Bakhura sighed. It was a request he couldn’t refuse, not with the conscience his reborn body was damned with and that Ryou constantly nurtured. “Sure, kid. I’ll make sure to get in touch with your mentor. And I know once Ryou hears about this, he’ll want to check in next year to see for himself  you were all laid to rest.”
She smiled, and her eyes sparked to life. “I didn’t get your name?”
“Oh, uh… Bakhura.”
Her spirit body bent at the waist, and though physics shouldn’t phase her incorporeal form, her hair whisked around her face. An instinctual urge to flee the show of submissive respect — unearned respect, as far as he was concerned — coiled in his gut. Planting his feet, he stiffly bobbed his head and exited the room.
Behind him, he heard the faint whisper of her voice.
“Thank you, Bakhura-san.”
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AO3 Link: Halloween Haunts - Chapter 1 - LiteraryAngel - Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga) [Archive of Our Own]
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sanchosammy · 4 years ago
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Wrong Calls
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Description: In a desperate attempt to find information about Pablo, you suggest your boyfriend Javier to see an old informant... Will you regret that decision? 
Warnings: Some cursing and a blink of sadness, and probably badly translated Spanish . that’s about it.
Number Count: 2,717
The fight with Pablo Escobar had been on pause. The DEA was stopped with a block in the road. That was hypothetically speaking, of course. Pablo had been quiet. Too quiet to say the least. He cashed out most people’s silence and it was clearly working out well for him so. No one could get information on him and nearly three weeks had passed.
As you can imagine, Murphy, Peña, and yourself had become restless from the free time.
This was too long without a move being made on the DEA’s part. Too much time wasted on waiting for an informant to finally come forward. You were like sitting ducks as you waited for someone to drop any information at this point.
Today you couldn’t take it anymore. You didn’t want to waste your time in the office looking over the same material you have studied for weeks. None of it would help you. It was all useless paperwork by this point. The sounds from the office had become more like mockery the longer you listened. You had never spent this much time in the building and it started to feel like your own personal hell.
That’s why you went home early. The boys could see it on your face when you practically stormed out without a word. That was an unusual move on your part, but they knew what was going on with you. You were beyond committed to this case. Javier and you had plenty of late night conversations about it. The both of you were in agreement, you and him were all in no matter the cost. You just wanted Pablo Escobar caught.
In the first year of working together, it was something you bonded over. You were hesitant in the beginning considering what you knew about Javier’s past, but he looked at you with such adoration that somebody would be a fool to deny that man was in love with you.
You had stolen his heart and he didn’t want it back by this point. As Murphy put it, Javi was whipped.
All three of you lived in the same apartment building. However, you found yourself in Javier’s apartment a lot more lately. You liked to clean it for him while he stayed late at work sometimes. It was something to distract you from the stress of work, and he made sure to reward you for your thoughtfulness later at night. You couldn’t complain about that.
You were in the process of cleaning the coffee table when the telephone rang. A part of you was hopeful it was Javier with something new at the office, life had been too quiet. You were grateful for some time to rest but your mind could never find ease with Pablo on the loose not paying for a single damn crime he committed.
You picked up the phone and fell backwards into the couch with a huff,  “Hello?”
A woman’s voice replied, clearly confused from the sound of her tone. “Hola, ¿es el teléfono de Peña?” (Hello, is this Peña's phone?)
When you heard the Spanish, you found yourself sitting up a little straighter in instinct. You knew Spanish somewhat. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but you had spent enough time in the country to have some of it down. Not to mention Javier constantly helped you practice in case you ever needed it.
“Sí, ¿puedo tomar un mensaje?” (Yes, may I take a message?)
She paused on the other end. From the silence you could tell she was weighing her options on what she wanted to do. She seemed uncomfortable with your presence on the phone.
“¿quién es?” (Who is this?) She asked.
Now it was your turn to weigh the options. This woman had to be someone outside of personal contacts. This wasn’t an old friend at all. Her hesitation and concern to put forth personal information was speaking volumes to you. She had to be an informant… Javier had a past with those before the two of you started dating.
You bit your lip and internally shamed yourself for what you were about to do. How could you even consider playing into the possibility of letting him see an old informant… and yet, you found yourself speaking the words without fully thinking it through.
“Soy la criada del señor Peña. ¿Puedo llevarle un mensaje?” (I'm Mr. Peña's maid. Can I take a message for him?) You asked in an almost customer service tone, playing into the stupid role you put yourself in. This was quite frankly embarrassing.
"¿Podrías hacer que me llame, decirle que es Tina." (Could you have him call me back, tell him it’s Tina.) You hummed in response and wrote down the name on the notepad.
“Sí, se lo haré saber de inmediato.” (Yes, I’ll let him know right away.)
She said her thanks before hanging up. You rubbed your faces in your hands, wanting the world to swallow you whole. You couldn’t believe what you were about to suggest.
*
You walked into the office and leaned against Javier’s desk. Tossing the paper in front of him silently, gaining the attention of not only Javier but Steve as well. Both had confusion spread across their faces.
“So, Tina called.” You commented and looked ahead at the wall. Murphy’s eyebrows shot up as he let out a low whistle. A polite way of saying ‘you’re in for it now, buddy.’
“What?” Was all Javier could ask as he looked at the paper then back at you.
“Yeah, she called when I was at the apartment. I think she has information about something, but you weren’t the one to answer the phone so…” You shrugged before looking at him. It was almost a little humorous how taken aback he seemed.
He hadn’t seen any of those informant’s in months. He had remained completely loyal since day one of the relationship, and you knew that without a doubt. That’s why he looked so dumbfounded to hear one of the girls contacted him after nearly six months of silence on his end.
“What did you say to her?” He asked like an animal who just saw the light of day for the first time.
“Well…” You weren’t proud of this, and you had to swallow some pride to say it. “I told her I was the maid, truthfully.”
Murphy was the first one to react, his laughter filled the room. You looked over and gave him a lopsided grin in response. It was such a joke of how far this had gone, but you couldn’t ignore the humor of it all. Javier’s girlfriend pretending to be a maid to his old prostitute, now that was a story to tell in the future.
“No kidding, you are something else (Y/N).” Steve was shaking his head before enjoying his coffee.
“Why the hell would you do that?” Javier asked, baffled as he failed to light his cigarette. The lighter not working with him.
“Look, Javi, we need something. We are sitting here wasting our fucking time while Pablo is out there continuing his bullshit. We need something, we need our in.”
Javier leaned back in his seat with his arms crossed. You noticed Murphy from the corner of your eye watching the scene intensely interested where this was heading.
“Tina isn’t going to provide any information unless I sleep with her, you know that. I’m not going to get anything out of her,”
You nodded silently before mumbling you knew that already. When you looked up, his face said it all for him. He couldn’t believe you’d actually hint at him sleeping with someone. His eyebrows scrunched together and his voice was low “Are you seriously asking me to fuck Tina?”
“Well, I mean… I’m not asking necessarily, all I’m trying to say is we have limited options Javi.”
“No.” He immediately responds. Almost sounding a little angry with you.
“It’ll be a one time thing, Javi. You’ve done it before, what’s the big deal now?” You huff with your arms crossed now, looking at him with frustration.
“I wasn’t in a relationship back then, and now I am. That’s the difference. I’m not sleeping around to catch fucking Escobar.”
By this point Murphy at least had the decency to pretend to mind his business, but you knew he was still fully in the conversation as much as the two of you were. You were all close. Partners. Not to mention you lived in the same building, and would have double-dates regularly.
“You remember what you asked me? You asked if I was all in? Well, I am. I don’t want you to sleep with some street whore, trust me. But I know that I have to sacrifice my own happiness for the sake of catching this bastard.” You sighed and pulled yourself away from this desk. You returned to your seat and the silence seemed to consume the room.
No one talked for at least five minutes. Javier hadn’t moved in his chair, he remained leaning back in silence. The most noise was Murphy pretending there was something interesting about the file on his desk, but everyone in the room knew that Murphy read through all of that already. He was just trying to pretend like he wasn’t involved for the sake of privacy.
Javier cursed under his breath as he picked up the phone, Steve and you looking over at him waiting to see who he was calling. You had a suspicion but you needed a confirmation.
He was stressed out, you knew because he would take longer drags of his cigarette when he was unhappy. The smoke left his mouth as he replied in Spanish into the phone.
“¿Tina? Soy yo, Javier. ¿Qué tal las diez esta noche?” (Tina? It's me, Javier. How's ten tonight?)
Murphy looked at you in awe. He couldn’t believe you had convinced Javi to do this. His eyebrows were raised and he forced his mouth to remain shut before he could say something stupid.
Javier put the phone back on the hook before looking at you. “Ten tonight.” He said emotionless. He stood up from his chair and walked out of the room.
“You’re a crazy bitch, you know that?” Steve asked, looking at you. It wasn’t judgmental when he said it. He understood completely why you did this, he felt just as strongly about Pablo as you. However, he would’ve never asked his wife to sleep with someone for intel. You had taken this desire to a different level and he wasn’t sure if that was the most positive thing.
*
You were in Murphy’s apartment by now, a request made by Javier. He didn’t want you to be alone as this happened tonight, but you almost found yourself wishing you were. You sat on the couch uncomfortable with the thoughts looming in your mind
You recalled the conversation you had with Javi before you had left. He asked if you were sure about this several times, and you continuously said it was for the better good. You needed information and if that meant going behind the government’s back and working some magic, you considered it done. Javier was uneasy though. And that made you sit down to reflect on it all.
Had you taken this too far? Your boyfriend was downstairs fucking a woman named Tina… and you were the one who made it happen. He had done all of this before, when the two of you were simply coworkers you knew he fucked them for information. Why did it feel so much worse now though?
What if this changed your relationship? What if this reminded Javier why he didn’t want to be in a relationship in the past? What if she was better than you?
It all started to pile in. You felt a little queasy from the sudden rush of concern hitting you. You hardly noticed when the couch sunk next to you, it was Steve holding out a drink for you.
“I thought you could use this.” He commented and you noticed the beer in his hand. You mumbled a thanks before downing half of it. His hand patted your knee and you looked over at him.
“Do you think I made the wrong call?” You asked quietly. Worry starting to reveal itself in your eyes.
He looked at you and sighed, putting an arm around your shoulder and pulling you in. Steve was what you needed in a friend. He knew what you needed, when you needed it. He sorted out the few fights that happened between you and Peña. He was just an all around good guy.
“It wasn’t a call I would’ve made to be honest with you, (Y/N).” He sipped his beer and remained his stare ahead. You noticed Connie wasn’t around anymore, she must’ve gone off to bed early. You don’t even know why Steve stayed up to sit with you. Maybe he could see your self pity coming from a mile away before you did.
“Would it be horrible if I stormed down there right now?” You asked. He looked down at you and then finished his beer.
“Yeah, I’d say it’s probably already happening. Might as well just get the information at this point.”
You hummed in acknowledgment. You pondered it all for a minute. Do you just continue to let it all happen, or do you cut it off early? You sighed before downing the rest of the beer and handing the bottle to Steve.
“Another one?” You asked with a small smile. He nodded and understood, you’d need it tonight. He pulled himself from the couch and headed towards the fridge, what he didn’t know was you’d rush past him and out the apartment door the moment his back was turned against you.
You practically flew down the stairway, Steve close behind as he called your name frantically trying to get you to stop. You shoved the key into Javier’s doorway before nearly slamming the doorknob into the wall, screaming your head off as Steve came up behind you holding you from going in any further.
You were screaming something, it had all blanked out the moment Javier came from around the corner fully dressed and alone. “Hey, hey!” He yelled out grabbing your attention.
“Where is she?” You tried to catch your breath, Murphy still holding onto your arms not willing to let go in case you found the poor woman somewhere.
“She left. I couldn’t… nothing happened.” He commented quietly. He nodded to Steve to let go. “Goodnight Murphy,” Javier commented, walking him to the door before shutting it.
“Nothing happened?” You asked, confused. Javier was exactly as you left him. His hair still in the same position as before, his clothes not wrinkled in the slightest. He shook his head and pulled you by the arm to the couch.
“I couldn’t do it. I kissed her, and I just couldn’t do it.” He looked at you. His eyes were troubled and concerned, with a touch of disappointment. You found yourself relieved. How could you almost risk your relationship for fucking Pablo, hasn’t he ruined enough?
“I’m sorry, I just freaked out.” You whisper placing your face in your hands. He pulled you into his embrace instead, holding onto you as if you would keep him grounded into reality. He placed a kiss against your neck. A habit he started to do whenever work emotionally exhausted you.
“I’m never asking something like this from you again, I swear. I can’t imagine you with another woman.”
“Good because I can’t imagine myself with another woman either.” He chuckled but there was seriousness behind his words. He pulled you to face him before a quick kiss.
“I love you.”
The words were sweet to your ears. He had only said those words once when you were hurt during a chase, but it was something he was incredibly reserved to say.
“I love you too.” You smiled at him, your hands finding their way to hold his face. He was such a rough man. Hardened by his job, but something about you softened him. You let out a small laugh “Murphy’s right… you’re whipped.”
“Cállate, Cariño.” (Shut up, darling) He mumbled against your lips.
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nejibaby · 4 years ago
Text
The Only Thing I Got Right
Pairings: Ace x Y/N
A/N: I just finished watching the Marineford Arc and I cried so much so I wrote this on a whim. Sorry in advance if there are grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. It's the tears' fault, I swear! 😭 ((I just desperately wanted Ace to survive, you know? 😭))
This song reminds me of Ace, idk why.
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You’re shaking. It would’ve been nice if it was because of the cold or if it was from excitement, but this isn’t the case. You’re shaking from fear, from anxiety. Today, Ace, the love of your life, is going to be executed and you didn’t know if you’d make it on time. You barely got out of Impel Down alive with the help of Ace’s little brother, Luffy.
You hate the fact that you got thrown there with Ace courtesy of Teach, or should you say, Blackbeard. You hate the fact that you couldn’t save Ace from Blackbeard no matter how hard you tried fighting him. It was frustrating, but if a Devil Fruit user like Ace had no match for him, what more of you? You have no powers like that, the only thing that you have is your knowledge on Rokushiki and daggers.
You got imprisoned at Level 3 of Impel Down while Ace was rumored to be on Level 5. Being thrown on a relatively lower level was understandable, even if you are part of Whitebeard’s crew, you are no commander like Ace. Still, even if you are weaker than Ace, you desperately wanted to go get him out of there but it was impossible. Or so you thought.
When you saw a Straw Hat on a male running around with two others on Level 3, you instantly knew it was Luffy. It seemed like god was in your favor because apparently one of your cellmates, who you came to learn was Mr. 2 from Baroque Works, was Luffy’s friend. When he got Mr. 2 out of the shackles, you begged to come with them, telling him your relationship with Ace. Luckily for you, Luffy needed all the help he could get so he easily got you out with the help of the other prisoner he was with. It was all chaos after that.
You’re currently hiding in the crow’s nest of the Marine ship you helped steal alongside Crocodile, Mr. 1, and Jinbei. Your body is already aching from all the running and fighting you did just to escape Impel Down. But even before that, your body had already been tired from the lack of nutrition and of sleep. How could you even dare to sleep knowing Ace was somewhere else, probably beaten to a pulp? And if that wasn’t enough, the sudden knowledge of him being executed in a few hours added more strain and tension to your body. You didn’t want anyone to see you in such a state. You didn’t want anyone to pity you.
But if you’re hurting this much, then it must’ve been so much harder for Luffy. You make a mental note to talk to him before crashing to Marineford. For now though, you need to rest — not only for your body, but for your mind as well. You have to be ready, the worst is yet to come. When you closed your eyes, you welcomed sleep like an old forgotten friend.
Your sleep didn’t last long, however, because of both the nightmare of Ace reaching out for you with bloodied hands and of the waters that suddenly rocked the whole ship. Before you could even get down the crow’s nest, the ship abruptly stilled and the air chilled. When you looked down, you clenched your teeth at the sight of the sea that turned into ice.
A mental clock was ticking like a time bomb in your mind. How were you supposed to save Ace now?
As if hearing your question, Luffy started gathering the people in the ship about his plan. At this point, you would do anything just to get to Ace so you didn’t hesitate to help him in his plan on freeing the ship from the ice. But the next thing you know, you were falling after kicking the thick layer of ice as hard as you can.
Just as you looked down to where you’re supposed to land, you realized that it was Marineford and the war had already started. With a little tilt of your head, you see Ace in the scaffold, shackled up. Worry was etched on his face, his focus on Luffy. You could almost hear him saying how stupid his little brother is.
Was it wrong to smile at the sight of him at a time like this? But how could you not? He’s still alive! You have a chance at saving him. You release a sigh of relief.
You try not to draw his attention to you. He already has a lot to worry about — namely, the Whitebeard pirates, the allied pirates, and Luffy. It was a good decision that you didn’t change out of your prison clothes, it was easier not to get noticed by him this way. For all he knows, you’re just one of the many escapees Luffy helped. You want to keep it that way. At least for now.
There’s no time to waste, so when you landed, you immediately head off to the direction of the scaffold. After seeing that Ace was still alive, you feel yourself get pumped up again. You fight each and every Marine who tries to stop you.
No matter how hard each blow you receive, no matter how painful each swipe of the swords you get, no matter how many times you get knocked down, you keep on fighting. You keep on standing up. There’s only so much your Tekkai could do when you’re severely outnumbered. Nevertheless, you keep on going. Nevermind the multiple cuts and bruises you have. There is only one thing in your mind and that is saving Ace. Even at the expense of your own life.
From the way Luffy fought at Impel Down, you know he’s incredibly strong and tenacious so you find yourself backing him up. You don’t go near him, knowing Ace’s attention was on him, but you guard him from your side. Not a single Marine was able to pass through you from your side of the battlefield. But you can’t cover every area for him. Despite that, he managed to take down anyone who was in his way.
Your ears are ringing from all the overlapping noises of guns being fired, screams of agony from pirates and Marines, swords clanging, and hurried footsteps. At one point, you block all of the sounds while you focus on your own breathing as you run.
Even when everyone stopped moving to watch as Pops descended the Moby Dick and made his move, you continued running. You have to keep up with Luffy. There’s no way you’d let Ace die.
The only moment you actually stopped running was when Luffy unconsciously used the Conqueror’s Haki. So he can do that too, you thought.
That was also the moment you actually got to look at the surroundings properly and realized that Pops had been stabbed. Your knees buck from the sight and you fall down. Regret immediately flooding your body. You’re so focused on trying to save Ace that you didn’t notice Pops needed help too.
The Marines took this opportunity to attack you. Just as a sword was about to hit you, McGuy blocked it.
“What are you doing, Y/N? Snap out of it. This is war. There’s no way we’d be able to rescue Ace if you don’t get your bearings straight!”
The harshness in his tone brought you back to reality. He’s right. Pops ordered everyone to lend their strength to Luffy, and that’s exactly what you’re going to do.
You, along with everyone else, push yourselves to your limits to help Luffy. He did not disappoint. He even punched his own grandfather, Garp, just to be able to reach Ace and free him.
The moment the scaffold collapsed, you almost collapsed with it. Tears start falling from your eyes as you see Ace finally free from his shackles. A smile has finally graced his face as he fought side by side with his brother. At that moment, you think that he’s at his brightest when he’s with his sworn brother. You couldn’t be any more happier.
Now that he is free, it’s time to figure out how to escape. Everyone’s running towards the ships but you stop after noticing Pops wasn’t making the same movement.
“The order I’m about to give will be my final captain’s order!” Pops announces. “You and I will be parting here.”
Your breath hitched at the declaration.
“All of you, make sure you survive, and reunite with each other in the New World!”
You don’t listen to whatever he says next. You refuse to. You stand your ground. You’re not going to abandon the man who warmly accepted you into his family without hesitation despite knowing all of the crimes you committed.
As if sensing your refusal, he turns slightly to your direction, “Are you disobeying your captain’s orders?!”
Stupid old man, he should know by now that you’re no good at following orders.
Ace is one of the last persons to follow his order. You turn away from the conversation they are having, knowing it was a private matter.
When they’re done talking and Ace finally starts running towards the ship, Pops turns to you. He doesn’t talk, he just looks at you.
Shame suddenly overcomes you. You didn’t get to stop Ace from coming for Teach. When he left, you begged Pops everyday to allow you to set sail, promising that you’d bring Ace back. When he finally allowed you, you didn’t waste any time. But even when you found him, you couldn’t bring him back, it was too late and you were just too weak. It was your fault this happened. “Pops, I’m sorry I—”
“I did this. This is all my fault.”
“But—”
He shut you up with his stare.
“Let’s leave here together,” you plead.
But he doesn’t reply. With his stare, you can tell that he isn’t backing down on his order, no matter how much you persuade him to. You release a shaky breath. With tears streaming down your face, you gave one last bow and one last thank you.
And then you ran.
The others are already further away from you but you notice a group of them stopping in their tracks. There in the center of the commotion is Akainu and Ace, seemingly discussing something.
There’s no time for this, you thought.
“—In other words, Whitebeard is an eternal loser, who will never surpass Roger. That’s all he is. Everything I’ve said is the truth,” the admiral says. “He reigned the seas for decades, yet he never became a king or gained anything.”
You clench your jaw at the bullshit he’s spouting, after everything Pops had done to save you, you’re livid to hear him be deduced as a loser. But regardless of the anger rising in front of you, you know this wasn’t the time to get riled up.
The thing is, Ace gets easily riled up. It’s one of his flaws as a person. So when he starts walking to Akainu’s direction, Izo is first to shout, “Don’t fall for it, Ace! Turn back!”
But it’s no use.
That’s when you let your presence known, you shout at the top of your lungs, “Just turn back, Ace!”
Everyone whips their head at the sound of your voice, except Ace and Akainu.
Even you, who are usually able to keep Ace in check, couldn’t snap him out of his anger.
It’s too late.
They exchange blows. Ace falls down, magma is far greater than fire, after all.
“The Pirate King, Gold Roger. Dragon, the Revolutionary. These two men’s sons being stepbrothers is quite a frightening thought.” Akainu says.
When he looks over at Luffy’s direction, you immediately know what he plans to do. You don’t even think twice. There is no second to waste.
“Soru.”
The sound of your voice finally reaches Ace. His eyes widen in realization of what’s going to happen.
“Wait!” He pleads.
But before he could even stand up, you already placed yourself in front of Luffy. “Tekkai.”
But the admiral’s strength and power is far greater than your ability. His fist goes through your chest.
“Y/N!” Ace shouts.
The rest of Division Commanders are in shock.
Akainu clicks his tongue at the sight of you and detaches his fist from your body.
You slump, Luffy catching you in the process. “Oi, Y/N-chan... What did you…? Why did y-you d-do that?” He asks.
In no time, Ace comes to Luffy’s side. “Y/N…”
You smile sweetly at the two men and then you turn to Luffy. “You’re Ace’s brother, silly. Of course I’d do this for you.” You cough out blood and then hiss at the pain.
“Stop talking!” Ace demands.
While Luffy and Ace are distracted, Akainu makes his move once again. But the slight motion didn’t go unnoticed by Jimbei and the Division Commanders. Even if you aren’t a Commander, you acted like Ace’s right hand. To the crew, you’re as important as Ace is. There’s no way they wouldn’t fight for you. So altogether they start covering for the three of you.
You feel your body shutting down on you. You could barely hear Ace calling for a doctor and Luffy desperately asking Ivankov to help you. But you know it’s no use. “I… can tell my body is at its limit,” you whisper.
Ace doesn’t agree, then he gently takes your body from Luffy. “No, I’m going to find someone else who can help—”
“Ace…”
“—you. There’s got to be someone who—“
“Ace… My organs have been burnt. I know this’ll be the end of me.”
“No, don’t talk like you’re dying, Y/N!”
“But I am…” You say. “Look Ace, don’t worry, okay? I was prepared to die when I came here. I was ready to die just to get you out of here.”
“Why would you…”
“Because I love you,” you whisper. “You know… when I take a look at my life and all of my crimes, you’re the only thing that I think I got right.”
Ace hides his face on your neck as he hugs you. With the little strength you have left, you give a comforting squeeze on his shoulder. “Don’t go around disobeying the captain’s order and don’t go around breaking your promise to Luffy. You said you won’t die, right?”
You feel Ace nod at your words.
“Go to the ships and take everyone else. Please don’t follow me too soon.”
Ace hugs you tighter, panting as he continues to cry.
A small smile reaches your lips once again. At least this time he’ll listen, you think. “I can’t raise my voice anymore but please tell Pops and everyone else, even Luffy, they made my life worthwhile. I’m sorry if our journey ends he—”
You didn’t even get to finish your sentence because darkness had consumed you.
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What happened w the rationalist community, if you’re ok talking about it?
LONG REPLY TIME.
In my Wild Youth (tm) I was hardcore in the rationalist/skeptic/humanist community. You know, the New Atheist types (the vast majority of the community didn’t call themselves New Atheists, that was mostly American Dawkins fans, but we were those kinds of people, just less arrogant-PR about it). For people who don’t know, the core philosophy of this subculture basically comes down to: - humans are mostly good people, or try to be good people, and we should act in ways that are good for humanity, the environment, etc. - people with better or more accurate information about the world are capable of making better decisions - it is therefore vitally important that we view the world as accurately as possible. Truth is inherently important and valuable. We should do everything we can to make sure that our beliefs about the world are as accurate as possible. - your mind will lie to you. Cognitive biases have their social and evolutionary uses, but they result in bigotry and bad information. We should do everything we can to identify and compensate for these, and think as rationally as a human is capable of. - while it’s not perfect, science is the most effective tool we have for determining what is most likely to be true. Rationalism is therefore massively pro-science and pro-science education. (This isn’t a blind trust; most hardcore rationalists are scientists and fully aware of the limitations of the messy reality of how science is funded and published and the biases that introduces. These are taken into account. The other hardcore rationalists tend to be magicians/illusionists.)
All of this is perfectly fine and a hill I’m still perfectly willing to die on.
When you get a bunch of people together who are sincerely seeking truth and want the world to be a better place, there are some fairly obvious groups that they’re going to tangle with. Before my time, when we were just called skeptics, the main targets had been psychics and life-after-death spirit-communing con artists (this is where our magicians came from, the philosophical descendants of Houdini, one of the earliest voices in the movement, and later James Randi). But the big proponents of harm in my time were the healing crystals/essential oils/faith healing people, and the ‘Creation should be taught instead of evolution’ creationists. We spent a lot of time trying to stop people from selling oils that they said could cure cancer, and fighting against science education being replaced with religious belief inserted in science classes. (I spent a lot of my teenage years debating creationists on the internet. I can summarise this experience as a frustrating waste of time on both sides of the debate. Neither side was going to accomplish anything in these discussions.)
This is all perfectly fine. I won’t pretend I’m completely happy with everyone’s actions; it’s the internet, so of course there were subgroups doing things like mass trolling conservative religion forums and stuff, which had no purpose except to piss off people we happened not to like, but you get that. The problem with this is that it’s easy. People can believe what they want, but if you’re coming into a rational debate, every pro-Creation, anti-evolution argument is complete and utter bullshit, mostly demonstrating nothing beyond the fact that the creationist debater a) doesn’t understand the most fundamental things about biology or b) does understand and is willingly misleading the audience. Every pro healing crystal, pro astrology or pro telepathy argument is fatuous nonsense. Twelve-year-olds could walk into these discussions and completely shred every argument put forth by big-name “creation scientists” in minutes -- I know, I watched it happen regularly. I was on our conservative creationist Christian-owned community TV station for awhile doing a little ‘creation vs evolution!’ debate against the wealthy station owner’s son to fill air time, and I’d see him do a couple of hours of research for anti-evolution arguments every time we filmed, and it always pissed him off that I’d shred anything he said immediately, having done no research whatsoever, because even to me, a child, the giant drive-a-bus-through-this holes in his arguments were obvious. (Also, they were old hash; I’d read all the books by his idols before and checked the reasoning myself long before.)
Fresh voices in the community came from two main sources -- people who’d been pro-people and pro-reason/science for years finding others like them, and ex-creationists and magic healer victims who’d eventually found the holes in what they’d been taught. This second group, for obvious reasons, tended to be the most passionately pro-reason and pro-science people, and discussing different experiences in a place where people could feel safe being critical and actively celebrate doubt was great. But, inevitably, we got lazy.
A lot of the ‘laziness’ was perfectly reasonable and practical. Time and attention is always limited, and when you’ve dealt with six claims of “the eye is too complex to have evolved!” and explained the flaws in the irreducible complexity argument four times that fortnight, when someone walks in with “blood groups couldn’t possibly have evolved, therefore the earth must be 6,000 years old”, you just don’t fucking bother, and you shouldn’t fucking bother, there’s no value in that discussion.
That’s not the kind of laziness I’m talking about. I’m talking about the part where we got so used to ‘that sounds so fucking stupid’ leading directly being able to tear an argument to pieces,that it became normal to assume that anything that sounds stupid on the surface MUST be obviously wrong. Where ‘this is weird, let’s examine it and check for flaws’ became ‘that person disagrees with my preconceived notions, let’s double down and explain why they’re wrong, because I’m already assuming that they’re wrong’. At some point, “we want to be as rational and accurate as we can be, we call ourselves rationalist and work towards that” became “we’re rationalists, so we’re more accurate and rational than average and probably right”.
You might recognise that as in fact being *the exact opposite of the proported philosophy*. There were always some overenthusiastic idiots in any group, but watching it slowly become normal for rationalising to replace active rationalism and for the names of cognitive biases to be thrown around as gotcha buzzwords rather than things people were seriously considering in their own arguments was... concerning. (There were a lot of very smart people in the community, which unfortunately made it far more vulnerable to this particular kind of thing. Smarter people are better at fooling themselves; a person good at reason is also good at rationalising, and you can’t tell the difference between these things when you’re the one doing them.)
In practical terms, this doesn’t matter that much when you’re playing in the easy leagues of explaining to someone that the overpriced eucalyptus oil they bought from an MLM won’t protect them against chicken pox. The person who’s gotten lazy is shit at being a rationalist, but your reasoning skills don’t actually need to be all that impressive for this. You know what they do need to be impressive for? For when somebody says, “women are taken less seriously than men in science and biased against in hiring, payment and promotion”, and this hypothetical you, a male scientist who’s never noticed this and already knows that his profession is full of smart and reasonable people who wouldn’t do something stupid like that, thinks “that is fucking stupid” and automatically, without thinking about it, puts their energy into shouting down and dismissing alternate evidence. Or when somebody points out islamophobia in the community, or passive racism, or... you get the picture. Social issues can (and should) be examined and interrogated using rational philosophies, but it’s so much harder to do that than laugh at creationists who are sending you abusive messages about going to hell. And given the particular hot-button issues in the community, most of the people there were interested in biology, chemistry or physics and simply had no idea how to *do* social sciences, treating the parts that were familiar from their own specialities as valid and the rest as irrational nonsense. And now, you have prominent rationalists panicking about Sharia law, sneering at the made-up problems of feminism, and generally making fools of themselves... because they got lazy.
Because, like how it’s hard to be a liberal (American definition) but easy to be a conservative in a gay hat, it’s hard to be a rationalist, but easy to be an arsehole with a big vocabulary. And that’s why I can’t gush about how great Richard Dawkins’ early science books are without somebody bringing up his bullshit twitter opinions.
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justasimplesinner · 3 years ago
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Almost forgot about this!
Can I request headcanons of Venom, Carnage and Spawn getting the most sincere, loving kiss and "I love you" from their male s/o.
(Can you even kiss Spawn🤨 I mean I did see some official art of him with a venom mouth, so I guess)
okay, i did my fair share of research about Spawn but that motherfucker has a history so complicated and so detailed i'm not nearly as knowledgeable about him as the other two, so i'm sorry if my take on his character sucks. if ya'll got any tips on how to write him, please share
and, as i promised before, i'm making this request GENDER NEUTRAL fo everyone to enjoy
Venom not knowing how to handle love hcs:
Venom is a simple creature. they take what they want whenever they want, they're not afraid to destroy whatever stands in their path - in short, they're not exactly a good creature. not necessarily bad but not necessarily good either. their life wasn't exactly filled with love and affection. Eddie's might have, but the alien itself finds love a pretty foreign concept. but thry know when they feel love, and it certainly is around you
it's not like it's their first time being kissed. you've kissed them before. they know how it feels to have your lips against theirs, and it feels good. but you've never kissed them like that. you've never looked at them like that, never cupped their face like that, never... never said it out loud. they don't find words nearly as meaningful or powerful as actions, but hearing that from you... it's different. it was different. something changed and it was a good change. it felt like they were truly allowed to feel. you made them feel something. you always did, but not so much. you made them feel guilty, you made them feel happy, sometimes you even made them feel angry, but this time, you made them feel... loved
it takes them a moment to calm down the emotions raging inside them. it's like they didn't know it meant so much but their heart did, their soul did, and they understood the true significance behind your words. they now understood how it felt to be loved. this is something new to them, so don't be surprised if they practically pounce on you, engulf you in their body, lick you all over like an excited puppy. they can't quite handle that feeling yet, so you have to deal with all that
Carnage not knowing how to handle love hcs:
while Venom is a simple creature, Carnage is an even simpler creature. they just don't care. they don't give a shit. they do whatever the fuck they want whenever the fuck they want. they don't give a shit about morals, they don't give a shit about feelings, they don't give a shit about others. and then you made them care. you made them want to do something good. just for you, of course, not for some fucking society. you made them want to protect you, you made them care about someone other than themselves and Cletus, you made them scared for your well-being. and let me tell you, it was fucking hard for them to accept and handle all that
they have no fucking idea what love even is. they heard about it but they laughed at it. they stopped laughing when they met you. you made them scared, you made them feel guilty about some things, you sometimes made them hurt because you didn't accept all their advances (and those advances include but aren't limited to: being gifted dead animals, being randomly picked up and taken to the roof of one of the highest buildings in the city and basically being endangered in at least one way). and if that wasn't love, they didn't know what was. if that burning need to be around you, to be with you wasn't love, then nothing was. but, despite realising that this might've been a deeper feeling than just "tolerating" you, they never really admitted it. they never said it. but most importantly, they never expected you to say it
what you said, what you did, hit them like a ton of bricks. all at once. just like that. three simple words. just a stupid fucking "i love you". and it made their head spin. it made their heart beat faster. you didn't just "tolerate" them either. you didn't put up with their bullshit because you thought you had no choice (although you really didn't), and all that affection you spoiled them with wasn't empty or out of pity or some shit. you looked at them, you saw the true monster that they were, and yet you had it in you to love them. for all they were and weren't, you loved them whole. they won't just let you go after that, you're tied down for life. you're fucking theirs now. and they're going to show you just how much they love you back
Spawn not knowing how to handle love hcs:
Spawn has his experiences with love. well, he has Albert's memories of love, at least. he knows how it feels, and for him it feels meaningless and hurtful. it means pain and disappointment and wasted effort. in the end, it means nothing. he doesn't trust anyone, he doesn't feel for anyone, he doesn't love anyone. anyone but you. you don't bring pain or disappointment. of course, sometimes he hurts because of you and sometimes you hurt because of him, but that's normal. he feels for you, but he wouldn't dare call that feeling love because it'd feel insulting for you. in his eyes, love is nothing good, it's all bitter, no sweet. so he tries not to label that feeling
he recognizes the gestures you do as some from Albert's past, as the gestures he did for his wife and his wife did for him once. and it... scares him. it does. Albert has loved and lost, and he doesn't want to repeat that story. he doesn't want to depend on you, he doesn't want to seek you out, he doesn't want to associate happiness with you, because what if you left? what if you were gone? what would he have then? nothing. but it's too late already. it's too late, and he realises that the second you cup his face so gently. he realises that the second you kiss him, despite him not really being able to kiss you back. he realises that the second you say that wretched word, "love", right to his face. because he realises that he fucking loves you too and it's utterly horrifying
he will be still for a moment, he won't say it back. instead, he'll look at you and ask you why. you will have to make him understand that love doesn't only bring pain and guilt and disappointment, and that love doesn't always end in a disaster. worst part is, he immediately believes you. he doesn't even question it, because he... trusts you. love is trust, and he trusts you, he... loves you. it's terrible but he's never felt better. he's never felt more like he belonged somewhere than when he pressed his forhead to yours and held you close. and in that one moment he decided that, even if it was going to hurt in the end, he wanted to love you like this forever
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toukenramblings · 4 years ago
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Video Games: Mutsunokami Yoshiyuki, Aizen Kunitoshi, Atsushi Toushirou
Oh ho, a fun lil headcanon set like this is so funnnn~!
Warnings: Not much I suppose?
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Mutsunokami Yoshiyuki
Sweet MuMu adores video games where we can travel the world. Fantasy world, modern world, past, present, future, he don’t care! An open world game will suit him best! There’s so much to do, and like a lil puppy, MuMu want’s to explore it all!
Extra bonus points if there’s a part of the game where there is something to do with the ocean. He adores the sea after all! Boats, driving them, exploring the ocean, exploring the unknown, oh this TouDan will drink that shit up.
The games that come to mind are Assassin’s Creed: III, Black Flag, Syndicate, Origins, Odyssey, and Valhalla. Why? Most of them deal with exploring new lands and some of them deal with piloting ships! III, Black Flag, Odyssey, Origins, Valhalla to be more specific. Syndicate has guns and classy fashion. A little too much for Mutsunokami but he loves playing with the guns in the game - they are very similar in make to his own after all. he also rly likes the sea shanties in odyssey because i rly like them too
If Mutsunokami wants to relax and not play Assassin’s Creed where he goes around stabbing everything that moves, he will play Subnautica or Abzu or Journey to relax. Maybe even Animal Crossing! He loves the cute little animals but I personally think that games where he can just explore the world and meet new people and learn lore just make him happy the most.
Games MuMu would never play are horror games or anything with spiders in them. So Bayonetta and Devil May Cry are out. He loves the idea of gun-toting protagonists but nope, nope. Spiders? Bye fam.
Now that I think about it, he would just be Blathers. He can play Animal Crossing but Gods help him the minute he sees a spider in that damn game. “I THOUGHT THIS WAS A PEACEFUL GAME, WHY ARE THE SPIDERS TRYING TO KILL YOU” cue controller thrown at the television.
Oh MuMu adores party games! Can’t play Smash Bros or Mario Kart for shit. Watch him pay too much attention to the background and yeet himself off of the stage because he saw something shiny. He can kinda play though, but again he gets distracted the most. Buuut ask him to play Mario Party with the rest of the swords and damn right he will play!
Can and will make video games turn into a drinking game. MuMu adores competitive gaming with the rest of the citadel. Will start taking bets on who is gonna win and lose, and sure he may be a pouty loser but he’ll be fiine. But damn right he’ll yeet a tantou to ensure his win. No he won’t he’s not that cruel.
Mutsunokami also adores rhythm games! Taiko no Tatsujin because of Don-chan and the idea of playing with a lil taiko drum as a controller. He’s very much into music after all. There are times when he stops playing a game to just listen to the music and take it all in!
A guilty pleasure game he plays is probably Ghost of Tsushima. No he’s not checking out Jin’s ass whenever they go to a hot spring, what are you talking about? MuMu enjoys it because sometimes just going back to your roots and stabbing a ho is just what you need. dear khotun khan, eat shit
Aizen Kunitoshi
Aizen is also super big on rhythm games. As said above with Mutsunokami, Taiko no Tatsujin will be a favorite of his. He has a secret collection of Don-chan merch, no one is stopping him damn it. Just fucking tRY and take away his precious Don-chan(s). The only ones that can touch his prized collection are the rest of the Rai swords, other peeps he is close to, and maybe you if you two are close/you ask nicely. Get him some Don-chan pajamas and he’ll cry.
Aizen is also pretty good at fighting games, Street Fighter coming to mind because he adores over the top bullshit and the colors! The colors! He mains Ryu though, but he’s more than willing to try new characters!
He’s also pretty competitive at times, so he would adore playing fighting games with the rest of the swords at the citadel. Hotarumaru and he are always playing Smash Bros or Mario Kart, which ends up with a lot of broken controllers. Hotaru has been slightly banned from planning highly competitive gameplay though.
Other games that I know Aizen will be into will be Animal Crossing when he wants to relax. He loves the little yearly festivals and events in the games and it kinda mirrors how life works in the world. Of course he adores Digby and Isabelle, and has threatened Tom Nook with Hotarumaru before. “Don’t you cheat me you stupid tanuki, don’t make me get my brother in here.”
Games that Aizen cannot play are puzzle games. He doesn’t mind them, he just finds them really boring. He watches Akashi play them sometimes but even then, Akashi will conk the hell out. If you play them and have Aizen on your lap watching, Aizen will be amazed at how you are so good at them!
Aizen cannot deal with horror games or sad emotional games. He’s pretty emotional himself and will need a lot of hugs after. He will refuse to play Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons as they remind him of Hotarumaru and himself a lil too much. Horror games is because he’s too scared to. Hotarumaru doesn’t mind them, he likes playing them while Aizen and Akashi cling on to each other and scream in terror.
Aizen also loves games that not only have great music but the visuals and colors just catch his eye. Katamari Damacy comes to mind and he loves the main character a lot. The music! The colors! Ohh man its the best.
A guilty pleasure game he would love is the monster catching genre, Pokemon is an idea but he also loves Yokai Watch. Yokai Watch feels a lil more closer to home, plus Yokai Watch had a crossover with Taiko no Tatsujin! He immediately wasted no time and effort to try and recruit Don-chan. iM STILL TRYING TO GET DON-CHAN ON MY TEAM U LIL SHIt but also im rly biased towards yokai watch and digimon
This lil guy will also love collecting plushies of any characters of the games he plays! Don-chan is his first choice of course but catch him and Hotarumaru in a little cuddle puddle with 70 other plushies from various games!
Most of all, Aizen loves games where he can play with others! Friends, family, you! It doesn’t matter to him! He’ll drag you from your office to relax and just cheer anyone up with something fun! “Come play with me! You promised after all, master! I’ve found a rEALLY cool and fun game to play together with Hotaru!” bless him he’s trying his best
Atsushi Toushirou
Like Aizen, Atsushi will mostly enjoy multiplayer games because of his multitudes of brothers, younger and older. He’ll pick out games like Mario Party, Mario Kart, classics for sure. But then there’s games like Wario Ware or Smash Bros. He wants to play games with as many people as possible! He loves it when he can play with you and his brothers!
If Atsushi wants to play something more solo, he will play something along the lines of Cooking Mama. Houchou got him addicted to it gee i wonder why Houchou loves the game so much but Atsushi just loves the dishes that he can prepare and it almost feels like he can cook! He once tried to follow exactly what Cooking Mama did in the game for cooking once uh...it did not end up. But none the less, he loves the colors and the music of Cooking Mama!
He is also a big ol fan of life simulation games, Animal Crossing being his favorite. Again he and his siblings can all play together and the calm atmosphere almost lulls him to a peaceful sort of sleep that he adores the most. He loves the relaxing vibe and sometimes wishes to live there, wherever the hell these guys live.
Next to Yagen, I think Atsushi will lowkey adore horror games. Yagen does it just to get a rise out of the rest of his siblings and Atsushi is kind of the same. Sure Yagen finds the most gorey and atmospheric based horror to scare the crap outta his siblings, Atsushi will probably play the more jumpscare based horror games just to get a scare outta them too! What good is a horror game if you’re not scared as well??? Damn right he’ll wait until it’s night time to play these games!
Atsushi also does love RPG games! Star Ocean, Final Fantasy, Legend of Zelda, come to mind first. He just loves going on big adventures! Exploring new worlds, meeting new people, learning new things! Bonus points if the game has a really emotional story, catch him and his brothers crying about whatever happens on screen.
Atsushi has a secret fondness for rather childish games. Pokemon, Yokai Watch, so on and so forth. YEs he’s trying his best to be mature and stuff, supporting you his saniwa and all, but sometimes he just wants to be himself and have fun! He has a few mascot plushies from his brothers too, shhh.
Atsushi is also terrifyingly amazing at turn-based strategy games. Mario + Rabbids being a favorite because of the colors and overall fun atmosphere. Fire Emblem is a close second. He knows exactly how to keep his units and characters alive, what upgrades to give them, so on and so forth. “General! Come look at what I did in my game! Wouldn’t it be cool if we could also do something like this?!” he says that as Rabbid Luigi yeets himself off of normal Mario and soars through the air like a bird, landing gracefully without hurting himself. Atsushi no.
He’s the most likely of the TouDans to get into the indie gaming scene, looking at new and upcoming content creators to see what they make! He wants to support them as much as he can!
He’s also one of the more responsible of the TouDans in terms of games. Others will start buying them on a whim but Atsu knows there’s a budget to be had! He isn’t as money crunching as Hakata or anything but he knows his damn limits!
Another game genre he’s secretly into are visual novels. He loves the budding relationships between characters, romantic or not, he loves seeing where they end up! It’s like he’s growing with them!
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dawsonscreekwasalwaysbad · 5 years ago
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season 6 thoughts
hey quick question why the FUCK did you start with that
like on the one hand i’m glad that now i know what happened right after the end of “that’s too much man!”. on the other hand… ow
the mountain bojack climbs is called “metaphor mountain” God bless Lisa Hanawalt
i LOVE the way the episodes are framed… like you get one flashback to bojack drinking and you think that was the first time then it’s like NOPE he was even younger
CINDY CRAWFISH AKSHDJDSF
AND BABY BOJACK SNUGGLING UP TO HIS MOTHER… TRYING TO FEEL AN EMBRACE SHE WOULD NEVER GIVE… CATCH ME CRYING IN THE CLUB
WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS NEW INTRO
AND THE WAY IT HAS ALL THOSE FLASHBACK SCENES BUT IT STILL ENDS WITH HIM FALLING INTO THE POOL AND DIANE AND PEANUTBUTTER CHECKING TO SEE IF HES OK AND THEN HES JSUT LOUNGING IN HIS APPLE SHORTS;;; it’s just,, he’s going back home in the end, going back to the place where he started, as if everything will go back to the way it was before and he’ll find himself stuck in the same cycles he tried so hard to escape… all im saying is, i dont think this season is gonna end well
and how it dwells on his past, everything he did wrong, all the most heartwrenching moments, and there aren’t any changes to the intro (as far as i could tell) until episode 8… nothing changes if all you do is look back.
I am LOVING the Mr. Peanutbutter we’re getting this season. I was never really attached to him before; it’s not that I hated him, just that I liked all the other main characters better. and now that they’ve had him do something really bad and reckon with that,, he’s plumbing new depths, exploring those dark places, questioning if he’s truly as happy as he says he is
and bonding with bojack??? who would have guessed
bojack keeps giving advice that is, at best, the kind he doesn’t follow himself, and at worst, bringing others down into the well of self-pity that he’s been stuck in the whole series
Someone give Princess Carolyn a break…
SHE NAMED HER DAUGHTER RUTHIE IM CRYING
Guy seems like a cool guy but I feel like they’re setting him up to seem nice so that it’s more surprising when it’s revealed he’s not. I’m probably being too suspicious, but also we don’t know much of the details about his divorce, do we? Lakeith Stanfield's great tho
EPISODE 4 WAS COMEDY GOLD
The return of Queefburglar69
I WANNA WRAP PICKLES UP IN A BLANKET LIKE A BURRITO AND TELL HER EVERYTHINGS OKAY
Oh man Pickles talking about how her subscribers will always be there for her… like… it’s not one person, it’s a cloud of people, the contents and shape of which changes, might even be completely different and unrecognizable from one year to the next, but they’re all still there as this nebulous support system. and it reminded me of what bojack said to young sarah lynn about how her fans are the only things she can count on
Todd is babey.
Also him wearing the ace colors under his hoodie!!
I knew Diane’s rationale for going to chicago was bullshit. she said it makes her feel good, but “it doesn’t matter where you are, it’s who you are,” and she still dwells on her bad feelings and hates herself just as much in chicago as she did in LA. moving somewhere else isn’t necessarily gonna change those tendencies, she has to work on it herself.
OH MAN AND WHEN BOJACK GETS DR CHAMP DRUNK AGAIN… THROWING THE BOTTLE OUT THE WINDOW WAS A WAY TO AVOID RUINING ANOTHER LIFE AND HE ENDS UP DOING THE EXACT THING HE HOPED HE WOULD NEVER DO AGAIN
was honestly kinda hoping that Dr Champ was just pretending he got drunk to show how bad bojack could get if he relapsed but at the end when he was like “stay…” that’s how i knew that shit was real.
todd is so fucking stupid i love him
ngl am kinda disappointed that todd’s confirmed white, cause i’ve kinda been picturing him as latino for a long time and i know rbw said he doesn’t want to alienate latino viewers who relate to todd. but it makes a  lot of sense, cause he always gets away with stupid shit and gets to the top of things without even having to try just because he knows a guy. and maybe the reason he’s so positive all the time is because it’s so easy for him to be, he never has to worry about shit bc of the privilege his whiteness affords him. also I love that we got to learn more about his backstory
THE CONTRAST BTWN “all the shitty things I did that I can barely even remember because I was high or drunk or it was thirty years ago” and “I remember everything. I’m sober now.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!
sharona sounds like a cross btwn princess carolyn and margo martindale
I have… mixed feelings about the haircut
Oh man Mr. Peanutbutter had a moment… he finally got that crossover episode… I was kinda hoping for a joke that went “Mr. Peanutbutter and BoJack Horseman in the same room? What is this, Philbert?” or “What is this, a short-lived show on a streaming network that got canceled because the star got addicted to painkillers and strangled his costar in a drugged haze?” but this is SO MUCH BETTER. I've never seen him cry before and the way he reacts to himself crying suggests that maybe he’s never cried before at all, and that’s why he just keeps laughing, almost like it’s forced, cause this is supposed to be his happiest moment and it’s not supposed to make him so sad. fucking,, character development
and the cold open of ep 8… you can forgive yourself and move on from your past wrongs but it doesn’t erase the things you did, the effects they have on people, and the trauma they’ve suffered. and then like, how can you forgive yourself if they never forgive you? how do you maintain that balance? why should you move forward if they can’t?
its weird to have an episode consisting entirely of guest stars but it also illustrates the extensive world they’ve built and i applaud that… also where the fuck is ana spanakopita
GINA RETURNS!!! HELL YEAH
her quote about not wanting to be defined by what bojack did to her has always stuck with me, and i feel like now, that quote has sort of come true. like, her saying that made us avoid reducing her to what happened to her, and thats why i wanted to see her come back this season, hopefully moving past it. but she can’t. it traumatized her. and everyone can see the effects of it but she feels like she can’t come forward, cause if she does she’ll be punished. shit like that changes you.
and it’s another instance on the show where someone chooses to advance their career & preserve their reputation over doing the right thing (like what bojack does with herb & sharona), but bojack does it out of self-interest, and gina does it so she doesn’t have to relive her trauma every time she gets interviewed or recognized by a fan. but even when she keeps quiet about it she’s still reliving her trauma
noah fence but what a waste of the once-per-season fuck word. youre really gonna use it in an episode IN WHICH BOJACK DOES NOT EVEN APPEAR, and not only that, but RECYCLE AN OLD SENTENCE FROM A PREVIOUS EPISODE
netflix places no limits on a show’s use of the fuck word (i think), so… fingers crossed for something better in the second part?
OH MY GOD PETE REPEAT INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS PETER ITS ALMOST LIKE HES TRYING TO FORGET THAT TIME & THAT PERSON HE WAS (im probably reading into it too much, I’m sure it’s mostly so we wouldn’t figure out who it was immediately. maybe im just like the kid with the coffee cup.)
and just… ppl describe this show as “family guy or the simpsons except the protagonist faces consequences for his actions” but bojack has gotten away with everything.
you ever just like… you ever watch a scene and feel the cliffhanger vibes creeping up and you just know it’s gonna end there and leave you unsatisfied and begging for more but at the same time that’s what makes it such a good place to end it. that was me with this. (and also the ending of undone)
the thing about this show is, it illustrates what it’s like to be a toxic person. and sure, he has it hard, but the show never asserts that he has it any worse than his victims, even if bojack himself does so. and he only does it so he can feel better about himself. he deserves a reckoning, he needs to pay for his bad deeds. but then, when you know what made him this way and what goes on inside his mind and that he wants to get better, it makes you feel for him, and forces you to ask if he deserves to get better and forgive himself and move forward. but even if he does, it doesn’t change the things he did. it doesn’t fix the lives he’s ruined.
anyway sound off if you think bojack’s gonna die at the end. hopefully not by suicide
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rattlerinthewheel · 3 years ago
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Goin’ Soft
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Another thing from my sharingan!Daryl writings. Includes Greenes and some byakugan.
- - -
The Greenes were something. Daryl didn’t quite know what to make of them, mostly because he’d never met folk with byakugan before, had only gotten second-hand tall tales. Bedtime stories from Mom, less story and more recounting from days gone when there was a lot more of everything (undeveloped land to hunt on, game to hunt, food to go around, eyes that could do more than just look and play mind games). Slurs from the old man, a racist at heart; slurs and ramblings both from Merle, running into all manner of folk in the marines.
Daryl knew better than to trust his folk about certain things. Mom had liked to think about days long past, enough that she hadn’t seen the fire right in front of her when it killed her. The old man was a nasty waste long gone now, didn’t know nothing where it counted.
And Merle was Merle—and that was enough for Daryl not to take his word as gospel.
Still, it unnerved him that the Greenes were so opposite from what he’d expected. They were kind, for one thing, and the farmhouse—gone, up in flames now—hadn’t been lavish. Clean, but not spotless. The food had been humbling, dirt cheap because it came from the dirt outside their door or the simple grocery store or farmer’s market. Fanciest food they’d ever eaten was probably dessert or pickled, maybe something Hershel’s eldest brought back from college.
Maybe that they weren’t pure had something to do with it. Hershel’s first wife hadn’t had anything special about her eyes; it was obvious in their first girl, blue-eyed and brown-haired and without a lick of anything more obvious at first glance (she had brains she put to use, eyes that weren’t the near-perfect field of the byakugan but still a damn sight better than normal when the blue washed temporary white). Hershel’s second wife had clearly had the eyes to match the vet, because the younger girl had only eyes white as the moon.
They were taking to the new world better, now that the farm was gone. Not that the whole thing burning down was good—not that they’d have gotten far living there that much longer—but it didn’t give them any baggage either, mental or real. Were leaving behind ash and crisps, not the home they’d grown up in.
They rolled up their sleeves and scavenged for supplies and got fires going. They pitched tents, threading the barest line of chakra through the poles so they could see through the nylon; a neat trick, especially useful if they were unfortunate enough to set up camp later in the day. Hershel and Maggie, his eldest, picked up watches, more useful than anyone else with the power to see well past the fire’s reach. Most of the time they sat, hands in their laps or idle; grabbing a gun or knife was more telling than a warning.
The youngest wasn’t allowed, a kid and not, older than Carl but not grown. Beth offered, but the rest of the group declined. Too young, too fragile, Daryl guessed they thought her. He picked up on her fussing, her huffs when she was turned down, her wilting shoulders, and knew she’d do something stupid to prove herself eventually.
Didn’t matter your blood, your tricks—everyone with something to prove usually tried.
- - -
Daryl knew she would follow him soon as he left camp. He ignored her chakra—unruly and immature, shaking when she tripped, flaring in panic whenever he stopped to check tracks thinking she’d been caught (she was, just didn’t know it yet)—in favor of trying to catch their dinner for the night. Something to go with the canned goods they lucked out on from that overturned semi.
He was maybe a mile out when Daryl decided he’d had enough of playing pretend. They were far out enough that she couldn’t act like she wasn’t following him, but not too far that he if made her go back he’d worry about her getting lost on the way.
Girl was sheltered, obviously, but had to know her way around her own eyes, could see far enough in every direction to figure it out.
Well, he could find that out now, couldn’t he?
A trick of his own he’d kept to himself till now, because girls liked to chat and Beth would probably tell someone, he shouldered his crossbow and pulled the strap snug, worked chakra into his hands and feet, and clambered up the bark of a nice fat tree. He huddled with his knees drawn to his chest on a branch too sturdy to waver. He’d see how hopeless the girl really was—no way she wouldn’t be able to see him here. He wouldn’t even bother with a mediocre genjutsu to hide himself.
A few moments of stillness crumpled into stumbling and huffing that sounded like the dead, and would have had a bolt or kunai primed to sink into their eye had Daryl not known what was coming through the trees.
Stupid kid, Daryl realized when he caught sight of her, and had to blink back the ebb of chakra that wanted to spring his sharingan to life in an angry, downright livid pulse. Her byakugan wasn’t even out.
Beth did wake it once she realized she wasn’t tripping after him anymore. From his perch Daryl watched the veins snake around her face, her concentration taking over the rest of her as she went completely still. It occurred to Daryl that if she needed to concentrate this much on her eyes, that she couldn’t move at all, she likely hadn’t been using them when she’d been following. Christ, she was going to get herself killed.
She was right under his branch, nearly, and that forced Daryl to keep at bay another angry surge to his eyes. She couldn’t even sense him. She hadn’t seen him right over her. He could probably drop down right behind her, not even in her crevice of a blind spot, and she still wouldn’t.
Fuckin’ unbelievable.
Daryl rose on his branch, just enough to move. He fed chakra into his feet and fell forward, extra to reach through his boots, sticking to the bark by his soles to hang upside down right behind her. Beth didn’t even startle, just went right on glaring ahead. Daryl thought briefly about letting his sharingan loose, just to scare her good, then figured she’d scare bad enough once she turned around and found him. Not like he was known for being welcoming and warm on his own.
It didn’t take long. Beth wilted, and he caught the veins on the side of her head relax. Daryl didn’t doubt it was less out of defeat and more she just plain lacked the endurance. She turned, probably thinking to make her way back to camp, and promptly tripped back on her ass when she damn near walked into him.
Daryl drowned out her wail with a barely contained, “The hell you doin’ out here, girl?”
He let her get to her feet on her own (could do something for herself for once) while he unstuck himself from the tree, twisted in the air, and landed on his feet. He grimaced at the shock that rolled up his spine—too old for that shit now—and easily dropped it into a glare as Beth whacked dirt off her jeans and scowled up at him.
“I thought you needed an extra set of eyes.”
Good Lord, she was serious.
“Ya couldn’t even see me,” he seethed. “Couldn’t even sense me. Hell you got those eyes for if you can’t use ‘em?”
“I can use ‘em just fine! Daddy taught me the basics.”
Of course, when they didn’t have to worry about the dead up and walking. Daryl doubted the old man had let her step foot off the property since martial law dissolved into chaos. Hell, out of the house.
“Your daddy teach you not to go following strangers in the middle of the goddamn apocalypse?”
“You ain’t a stranger, Daryl,” she scoffed, and if it wasn’t for the tilt of her head to go with Daryl probably would’ve missed entirely the roll of her eyes. Not like her irises and pupils were easy to see.
He needed a minute to breathe, so he turned on his heels and put some distance between them. Good Lord, teenagers.
“I can take care a’ myself.”
Daryl growled then, swore and spit, and whirled. He stalked right up to her, letting his sharingan come out at last. Chakra fumed with his anger. Beth flinched back, had probably never seen one up close but sure as shit knew what it meant. Good.
The veins in her face twitched but didn’t have the energy to stick around. Not that it was useful against him. Unless she knew how to fuck with his chakra points, which he doubted—and that made him even madder. Girl couldn’t see, didn’t even know how to defend herself.
She couldn’t handle being looked at like that, clearly. “I just... wanted to help...”
“Whip ‘em out then,” Daryl ordered. He didn’t dare tip chakra into his words. He doubted she knew how to break out of a genjutsu, had even experienced one. That was more bullshit he didn’t want to deal with.
“Well... I—”
“Said ta show ‘em, girl,” he rumbled, drawing himself up so he could look down at her even more than he already was.
Beth tried, at least. She stilled, like she had when he’d been watching from the tree. But no veins rose up around her eyes, she didn’t look like she was seeing the world any different, any better. Finally she quit trying, doubling over like she’d run a mile, panting. Daryl watched the excess chakra slink away from her eyes, and blinked his own blue again—hard to do, his anger wanting them to stay.
“Yer an idiot,” Daryl snorted. “And we’re going back. Can tell everybody why we don’t got dinner.”
Girl went quiet at that, thank fuck, and Daryl led the way back. They had dinner, just nothing freshly killed; Daryl happily let her take the blame for why they were only eating lukewarm beans.
- - -
Contrary to Beth’s complaints, she could be grounded, even during the end of the world. Good. Daryl didn’t need to worry about her following him again when he went out. He did have a limit to what he could do, he might have good eyes but he wasn’t all-seeing. All it took was one run-in with the dead and the girl was gone.
Carol took his plate from him after dinner. She was keen when it came to folks (he didn’t like to think it came from survival before the world ended) and noticed the youngest Greene had looked jittery when she passed him his fixed plate. Worried he’d chew her out for not enough beets, maybe, or just for being in his presence.
Maybe he’d been too loud with her.
“She just wants to help, you know,” Carol told him when he wrestled the plate back, took half the stack she’d collected from the rest.
“Wants to get bit,” he grunted as they walked over to the wash basin in the back of one of the trunks.
“Did it ever cross your mind," Carol suggested, tone just shy of wry but enough to let Daryl know he’d be doing what she asked anyway, "that helping her might keep her safe?”
His excuse came quick: “Don’t got the same eyes.”
It wasn’t even an excuse; just because they happened to have a hell of an upgrade if they fed chakra to their skulls, didn’t mean it worked the same. Training, especially, which was what the girl needed most. Even if the training was the same, no fucking way he’d do it. The three tomoe Daryl had earned over the years, none of them gotten lightly, came at a price. He didn’t know how to coax progress that wasn’t hollering or worse.
“You don’t just use your eyes, do you?” Carol asked, and he was stuck there—the pointed look she threw at his kunai wasn’t needed.
Two weeks later, when he was sure Beth’s grounding was long behind her, he made sure to take watch with Hershel. With both of them keeping an eye out (on chakra for what was living, shambling husks for what wasn’t) on top of the hill they’d set up camp beneath, the group couldn’t be safer.
“I’d hoped my Bethie wouldn’t need to know certain things,” he started before Daryl could. “But I’d be a fool to hold on to that hope. Especially when it’s obvious she’s taken to... exploring.”
“She couldn’t walk and see at the same time,” Daryl pointed out, careful not to sound accusing. Families with doujutsu had customs, manners, and they varied between ability and family. He didn’t want to be stepping on toes if this was something the girl ought to be able to do but couldn’t. Shame was a hell of a thing. So was wanting to cull weak links, though he had the feeling Hershel wasn’t like that.
“Her mother had good eyes. Strong eyes. But,” Hershel said, “she came from a family that valued, over all else, strength. What her mother had was trained for, not a birthright, and she made me promise we wouldn’t put that on Beth.”
Hershel swung his head west, then. Daryl couldn’t see it, not yet, but pulled his kunai anyway. There was something to using it, a feeling that felt right more than using any gun. Daryl felt it when he used his bow, but more when he used this. Maybe it was the quiet. Maybe he was just old-fashioned. Maybe because, like his arrows, they were easy to make (wooden ones, at least) and being able to make more of something that could help put food on the table was invaluable.
Or maybe because the set he had now was a gift, one of the very few he’d gotten in his miserable life.
Daryl never quite got over how wrong the walkers felt. Empty, no streams of chakra flowing, coursing, or even stuttering. Anything would’ve made them easier to be around—not that he planned on sticking around the dead for long.
Long enough to put them down, like now.
The walker, torn dress pulled down by the mud, shoeless, hair a nest, went down like her strings had been cut. Daryl picked his way down the hill, pulled the kunai from her eye, and wiped it clean on his thigh. Hershel was looking past him, veins bulging, when Daryl hiked back up, but he didn’t gesture for Daryl to ready another throw.
They were quiet for a while. Daryl liked that about taking watch with Hershel. Then, out of the blue:
“She looked like her.”
Daryl didn’t need to ask what he’d meant; he’d been thinking it too, had hoped Hershel wasn’t. But the man was smart, had a brain to match those eyes.
“Don’t gotta end up that way,” Daryl shrugged, quiet. Promises were dangerous, but so was the rest of the world.
Goin’ soft, that Merle-like voice that liked to come around, every now and then, taunted.
Yeah, well, fuck ‘em.
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killrqueen7 · 4 years ago
Text
Fate and Other Fairy Tales
A Worstthrust fanfic for the BRCU (Brandon Rogers Cinematic Universe)
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Summary: A look at the events of Blame The Hero from the perspective of two villains in love
This work is also on AO3!
Bryce Tankthrust was never an affectionate woman and would never pretend to be. Growing up in a single-parent household, and with that parent being a highly successful lawyer with a no-bullshit, no fuck-up's, and absolutely no weakness policy, she could count on one hand the times she'd received a hug from her mother and still have fingers left over.
Bryce's mother was a cunt, to put it nicely. She was cold and manipulative toward every human being in her life, including and especially to her own daughters.
She was Bryce's fucking hero.
When Bryce was 7 years old, she met Bobby Best. He was a frail child with a wild temper and possibly the most dysfunctional father-son relationship she'd ever witnessed in all her seven years. The boy was mercilessly teased in PE and despite her desperate need for social validation, she stood up for Bobby against those other brats. In the way that children do, they became friends almost immediately and both, feeling a new sense of companionship and understanding no one else had ever given them, developed an innocent crush on one another; formed by mutual ostracization and strengthened by the hot summer sun.
To this day, 40 years later, Bobby Best was the only person in the world Bryce Tankthrust had ever loved.
Their friendship lasted only 24 hours, but in that time, Bryce had the world in her hands. Bobby made her laugh until she cried and that night, they talked, secretly on the phone, for hours. Bobby looked at her like she put the sun in the sky and she would be lying if she said that didn't make her feel like the most important person in the world.
As they lay in the dewy grass that day, grinning at each other under that hot sun and discussing the philosophy of fate and their every decision bringing them together for this very moment, Bryce made a secret promise; to herself and to Bobby: I'm never going to let it go.
But like all good things in Bryce's young life, the joy and innocence of childhood was short-lived. It all came crashing down around her, when in a moment of pure devotion to her new and very best friend, she'd presented her own beating heart; freshly pulled from her ribcage and held aloft like the precious gift that it was.
Bobby Best, in an admittedly appropriate reaction to seeing such gore and carnage, lost his lunch all over it; tainting both her heart and her entire worldview. A chorus of laughter hammered at her skull; the teacher joining in the act of pushing Bryce Tankthrust to the extreme bottom of the totem pole. You did not come back from something like that.
 Bryce's heart slipped from her slick, blood-soaked palm and landed on the hot asphalt below, breaking in two like some kind of dumbass metaphor. From where she knelt, it seemed as if glitter exploded from the damaged organ, scattered around it along with all of her joy and laughter. Every good and pure thing that made her who she was laid out on the ground at Bobby Best's feet and she was being ridiculed by the rest of their second grade P.E. class.
She only stared at it for a few seconds before standing in a rage and charging her teacher with the very knife she'd used to carve out her very soul. She plunged the blade into Mr. Best's gut several times before turning it on the rest of the class. Despite feeling woozy and weak, Bryce threatened the lot of them and fled, stomping on her stupid broken heart as she ran.
She never looked back, knowing that what she had with Bobby, as wonderful as it was, was over. She had to grow up now; love was for pawns and the easily manipulated. Now, she craved only power.
When she got home early, her mother didn't even question it or the red staining the front of her gym shirt. She simply received a glance and then her sister, that stupid, fussy little monster, began wailing again from upstairs.
"Bryce, will you see what your sister is crying about now? I need to make another phone call." Mrs. Brownstein picked up the landline and then turned her back on Bryce to signal the conversation was over. Helen was her responsibility until mom got off the phone.
Bryce quickly changed her shirt as little Helen cried, her little face wrinkling like an old lady's already. She never stopped when Bryce held her and Bryce was convinced that Helen just didn't like her. So much for girls sticking together.  Bryce was alone now.
Oddly enough, she was okay with that.
"Hearts are a waste of time, " she explained to her sister as she sat criss-cross on the floor with her, Helen sitting up and looking around for something to chew on, "I'll teach you to ignore it. They're just stupid. We're better off with these." Bryce tapped the baby's forehead lightly and then smiled when the little one tilted her head toward the touch.
 _
As Bobby sat in his cell, during the first few years of his sentence, all he felt was rage.
Rage at Bryce for killing his father and destroying any chance he would ever have of making him proud.
Rage at his father for treating him like a stranger in public and like garbage at home.
Rage at his mother for passing away and leaving him with someone who would never love him.
Rage at his classmates for ruthlessly teasing and abusing him.
And rage at himself for allowing all of that to happen.
Bobby swore, as soon as he got out, as soon as he was adopted by a family who actually wanted him, he would find Bryce Tankthrust – the catalyst for the single worst day of his life – and drive a stake through that empty cavity she called a chest.
Some say that there is a thin line between Hate and Love, and for Bobby, that line was nearly microscopic. There were days where he would close his eyes and imagine the sun on his face, the grass on his legs, and her hand in his.
There were nights where he would hear her laughter and see her grinning over at him from across the jungle gym.
All it took was one person to give him a chance. Maybe she did it out of pity or because she knew he would bend the knee and do anything she asked of him, but Bobby didn’t care then. It was the only shred of kindness anyone had ever shown him, regardless of ulterior motive.
“She was so profound.” He wrote out, tears welling in his eyes. “She was my everything.”
Bobby chewed at the eraser of his pencil and frowned at his own words. That was the Bryce he loved. The Bryce he wanted to remember. Except the memory of her rushing his father and driving a blade into his gut was glaring red and dangerous. Dare he admit that he was angry he hadn’t done it first?
No…despite everything, he missed his father. The man was a bastard, but Bobby was completely alone now. More alone than he’d been in his entire life, serving a sentence for a crime that he hadn’t even committed while the real killer roamed free; probably making other boys fall in love with her so she could fuck them over the same way…and never visit.
No, killing her gave him a purpose.
“One day, I will have my revenge on Bryce Tankthrust. She better sleep with one eye open because I’m getting out of here the second a family wants to adopt me.” 
_
As Bryce scowled at the pink and red hearts decorating the walls of her office, the Elmer heart inside her chest grew more and more bitter. Ever since her ex-lover had given her the one gift she couldn’t send back…and then mysteriously “disappeared” after declaring her a, quote, “unlovable, cold-hearted cunt” she’d hated this holiday more than any other.
Baby vomit didn’t easily come out of linen and silk.
His name was Robert and he was…well, he was a baby. And then a toddler. Part of Bryce hated herself for being unable to love the child like the mothers she saw in public. She thought that it might all come together when she held him in her arms for the first time. It was the moment all mothers seemed to speak of with peace and longing, but Bryce felt little more than pride.
She’d made that. A little human with fantastic genes who would never want for anything. But she didn’t feel the tug in her chest or the connection that she was told about. Robert was a stranger to her; and she knew he could feel it.
Her son was well-behaved, it was true, but outside of operating within the same large home, their scheduled interactions were limited. When she had attempted to hold him; to feed him or whatever one did with an infant, he just cried. He wouldn’t stop until Bryce handed him off and that hadn’t changed.
So if she couldn’t even buy his love – with expensive toys, clothing, and food – who else would dare?
This year, like every year before, she hadn’t even received one lousy card. Not even from her precious little Elmer army.
She took their hearts, though. In a way, it was similar to receiving a Valentine several times a month, even if she did use them up and throw them away.
It wouldn’t hurt, she supposed, to hire a boyfriend this year. There were plenty of men who would bend to her every whim; some on speed-dial even, and it would be a charity. Bryce was a woman of authority and fortune and it was good, every now and then, to give to the less fortunate. For a service, of course. She wasn’t in the habit of giving free money.
How much could love be worth? Half a million?
_
Bobby paced the floor of his cell, chewing at his nails as he went over his evil plans once again. He was going to get back at the world for treating him like garbage, tossing him away, and forgetting about him. One day, they would all know the name Bobby Worst and know that it was he that brought about the end of their cruel world. 
And Bryce would suffer with them. More if he could help it. He wanted to watch the life drain from her body and watch as that intelligent spark faded from her deep...chocolate eyes.
FUCK
Bobby slammed his palms against the iron bars and then tried flipping his bed. However, it was securely bolted down; something that had been done to it just a couple months after he was sentenced. He always seemed to forget that in the heat of the moment.
"Agggh it's not fair!" He cried out behind grit teeth and then sank down onto the floor.
And it wasn't. Why would he still be in love with the girl who had put him here and caused him so much pain? Why couldn't he just hate her like any normal person would?
"It's not fair," he muttered at himself, wrapping his arms around his knees and picking at a thread on his striped sleeve.
_
If Bryce still had a heart when she discovered that Bobby had escaped prison, it would have stopped for a moment.
It was front page news and she'd read it on a newspaper on her way into work. Bryce snatched the paper out of an old man's hands and quickly scanned the story with wild eyes.
"Shit!" The old man had gasped, "try me, bitch."
Instead, Bryce shoved the newspaper against his ugly yellow sweater-vest and stormed in to the elevator and then to her office, ignoring the whispers of her Elmer employees and the eyes of her little sister.
Bryce paced the floor and then stood at the window, looking down at the little ant-people below. Just when she was about to take a couple Xanax, the phone rang.
"Ms. Tankthrust? There's a man here insisting on adopting a baby. It's the persistent one."
Bryce nearly crushed the phone in her grip, but kept her voice even and authoritative. "Send him to the big room with the table-"
"The conference room?" The Elmer on the other end asked.
"Yes, whatever. Send him back. I'll deal with it." She slammed the phone down and then rubbed lightly at her chest. The surprise really had done some damage. She'd need a new one if she wanted to be convincing.
Bryce cracked her neck slightly and then went on a search for the fresh hearts, prepared to get this over with.
Then, she would decide what to do about Bobby Best.
_
When Bryce woke up, she was in a cell, lying atop a hard cot. Was this Hell? The last thing she remembered was looking down the barrel of a gun, held by a fucking baby. Baby Elmer; a name she'd decided to keep after stealing him from his true mother.
She didn't enjoy ripping a child from his mother's arms, but she'd been without a heart for nearly a month and it was a struggle to even get out of bed some mornings. She was weak, like a fourth stage cancer patient continuing to breathe out of spite.
In a way, that was exactly what she was living for.
By the time the first Elmer heart was ready, it had to be placed inside her chest cavity by Robert, who begged his nearly comatose mother to stay with him despite having been completely distant from him for most of his little life.
When the heart was shoved inside her chest, it was as if Bryce had done a bump of coke and drank 5 of her favorite double, half-sweet, non-fat caramel macchiato's.
However, she now felt as if she'd been run over by a truck...and then again as it backed over her lifeless corpse.
It felt so similar to the moment when Bobby lost his lunch all over her heart. That crushing, hollowed-out, desperate, clawing, pain.
"Hello!?" She called out, eyes desperately darting back and forth, taking in her surroundings, searching for weaknesses. "Hello, where am I?" She didn't want to sound vulnerable. Even now, she had to remain strong.
 "Hello Bryce," the voice came suddenly from the dark, where a man with platinum hair and a bored expression peered at her from the other side of the bars.
"Hi, would you kindly explain what's happening here?" Bryce gave him her most "pleasant" grin; one that barely hid her confusion and boiling rage.
"I resurrected you," he answered, and suddenly, Bryce knew exactly who this man was, standing there, staring at her with only malice in his eyes and a sparkling notebook under his chin. “With this.”
At one time, he'd been her greatest creation; not because she loved him at all, but because this clone had a heart that would be compatible with her body. He was the first in a long line of Elmer clones who had all...reluctantly donated their very beating hearts.
"I'll be damned, is that my first Elmer?" Her voice sounded almost fond. To say they had a history would be the understatement of the century. "Glad to see you could walk again, and you said that me kneecapping you would ruin your dance career. Oh, how you screamed in pain."
It was true; the removal of an Elmer's heart did not entirely remove the person inside. Some of her creations still held an interest for things like nature, theater, and - god forbid - art. But whatever kept them silent and complacent was fine with Bryce, just as long as they showed up to work on time and made her filthy fucking rich.
Her first Elmer displayed the most personality and had the strongest heart of any Elmer she'd ever made concurrently. She let him keep it, in a rare moment of motherly kindness or whatever, however as he discovered his love of interpretive dance, she could see that the boy was...stifled. He assured her that he was completely devoted to her; "like a son to his mother" (she never put much stock on that) but had tried to run away just a couple of weeks later. To Broadway, or what have you.
When Bryce broke his knees, she felt nothing but vindication. He'd tried to outwit and out-manipulate her.
As Elmer cried in pain, for just a moment, she thought she'd felt something; almost like a vibration or a...tear somewhere in her chest. It was the first shimmer of empathy she'd had since she was seven and it made her nauseous.
That night, Bryce ordered an army of Elmer clones be made and with each subsequent heart she stole, that tiny twinge of emotion faded. She'd "breed" it out of them if she had to.
Bryce watched as hate flashed in Elmer's eyes, a sure sign that things were not good for her.
She was fucked, and not in the fun way. 
_
After escaping prison, Bobby Worst did whatever the fuck he wanted to do. He fucked anything that walked...or crawled as well as various fruits and maybe some things that were not made to be fucked. Whatever, he'd put his dick in anything, because he was Bobby Worst; the absolute worst version of a human being he could ever conceive of. And he'd had a lot of time to think about that.
His diabolical plan was going to turn everyone into the worst versions of themselves. He would simply set off a nuclear bomb and whoever made it out alive would be just as fucked up and shitty as he'd felt for so many years.
And if everything went to plan, Bryce Tankthrust would be caught in the blast. If it didn't kill her, she would become soft, compassionate, and weak. The worst version of herself.
He could only hope she'd been lonely and miserable her entire life, but from the interviews he'd seen, she had more cash than several countries combined and she was never without a man who could dick her down. While he'd been stuck in a cell, pissed off and dreaming of revenge, Bryce had become the wealthiest and most powerful woman in the country, possibly the world.
She also mentioned that he was the skeleton in her closet and for a moment, it seemed like there was something behind her eyes. Regret? He'd replayed that moment again and again, pausing it on her face and searching for anything that said she thought about him.
 Of course, she could have been talking about any "skeleton" in any prison (who knew how many men she’d fucked over). Was he really so foolish to believe she even remembered him? That he was so important for her to regret that day for most of her life?
Bobby grit his teeth as he stared at those cold brown eyes, nearly crushing the remote in his hand. "Suck! Swallow! Set up the computer! I have a message for the world." 
_
Bryce hadn't seen the sunlight in so long. For days she was forced to kill herself and then was brought back only to do it again. She had died in every single way possible and she'd felt fear for the first time since she was a child.
She was strong until she no longer could be.
"No wait stop, Elmer, please, I can't take this anymore!" Her hand shook as she stretched it out to him, begging her tormentor for mercy though she knew she didn't deserve it and probably would not get it.
That audacity made her eldest Elmer pause, walking toward her with a glint in his eye so awful and so evil that she swore he'd adopted her own way of survival. He was enjoying this. 
The momentary distraction - his anger and vindication - was all she needed to snatch the all-powerful "Shit book" and pen, snapping both of Elmer's twig legs once again with the flick of a wrist. Once again, her entire body vibrated with power; power over her enemy, the smallest taste of freedom.
Until she discovered that even godly notebooks of infinite power had a limited number of pages. Oh the things she could have used that book for.
Elmer had had his fun with her and now, they were going to execute her. As she stared down the barrel of the gun in her face, she refused to allow them to see anything. Regret, fear, hopelessness, grief; it all swirled inside her, but her eyes were glassy and cold.
She always thought that it might come to this, though she always imagined the person on the other end of that barrel would be him.
It said a lot of Bryce that she would be happier to have been killed by his hand than to never see him again.
She tried to picture his face, but the only reference she had of him was the smiling face of a seven year old boy and the one very blurry mugshot.
"Last words?" The Elmer holding the gun asked.
Bryce tilted her head back and gave him her brightest, winning smile. "Get fucked, shitbag."
"How eloquent." Elmer said with a stony resolve.
Yet, at the last moment, the door to her lonely cell slid open with a hiss and the execution was called off by the very Elmer who had ordered her death. For now.
_
So there she remained, wrists chained to the walls, waiting for days on days for whenever the world needed her.
They say solitary confinement can break even the strongest of minds, and she had definitely had her weak moments in that cell, wishing even for the torture to continue if it meant having any sort of human interaction.
With her head hung low, she closed her eyes and wondered how baby Elmer was doing in the care of that closeted nitwit, Sam, and his disturbed vampire of a roommate...god, that had to be 17 years ago now. Did he remember anything?
Briefly, her mind wandered to Robert. Her only living relative; her continued bloodline. What would he do with her companies? Her amassed fortune? Was he happy?
In her weakest moment, her mind was stuck on a replay of that day with Bobby Best. The last, beautiful time she'd ever felt anything. The horrible last moments she'd had with him; leaving him heartbroken and confused. She wondered if he ever thought about her, all alone in his prison cell, and if he was still angry with her. She wondered if there might have ever been a chance for them. If he might have broken this door down and slaughtered the Elmer army to save her if circumstances were different.
 Bryce hissed as the stolen heart in her body gave a squeeze.
_
When Elmer rolled back into her cell, followed by a kid who couldn't be more than 29, explaining that the world had been blown to shit and he needed her help, she couldn't help but be amused. How dare he tell her what her purpose was? She knew exactly what she'd been put on this earth for and it wasn't to carry out some bastard's suicide mission. As soon as she was free, she was ripping his fucking heart out and eating it whole, right in front of him and any blonde bastard who tried to stop her. 
But then he dropped the biggest "fuck you" yet.
It was Bobby. Bobby Best. Her Bobby.
Apparently, he was Bobby Worst��now - an evil bastard who had escaped prison and done all sorts of mildly horrible things until he finally managed to end the world. Oh, and he was on his way to kill her.
Bryce's snarky smile dropped from her face, and with a force enough to drop a bear, ripped the chains from the wall and stormed out into the bunker.
Unfortunately, the heart in her chest had been long since shriveled and useless and she dropped like a bag of bricks, crying out with the pain. It had taken too much. She wouldn't make it. Not even to Bobby's feet. And she still needed to get that stupid time machine.
"I'm too weak," she explained, clutching at her chest. "I'm gonna need a new heart."
Elmer didn't believe her. "You need to Get. Up."
"I ain't gonna make it 20 yards outside this stupid bunker without dying." She tried to explain. Why would they weaken their only hope?
"Yeah, but what's 'bunker' mean, though?" The kid standing behind Elmer's wheelchair asked...was this guy serious?
"Shut. Up." Bryce demanded, slapping the floor with her palm. "I need a new heart and I want yours."
Elmer just looked bored. "You can have one of the other Elmers'."
"I want yours, Professor X, and I wanna watch it come out of your body." It was only fair. Sure, she'd been cruel to him, but she'd never killed him. Not this Elmer specifically. And he had killed her. Many times.
There was a loud knock on the heavy bunker door, the other Elmer clones announcing the obvious arrival of a guest and working to unlatch and open the door as Bryce and their eldest argued over the possession of his heart.
Time was growing slim. He would have to make a quick decision and that's what she was counting on.
The sudden burst of gunfire made Bryce  jump and duck behind the chair. For a moment, everything was chaos. She didn't have time to stop and think about the voice she'd just heard. She knew it was him. Of course it was him. But she wasn't yet ready to face him. Didn't know if her weak heart could take it.
While Bobby descended upon Elmer in the chaos, Bryce and Blame - apparently that was the kid's name -  slipped out of the door and she earned a pop in the nose for her troubles.
Sure, hearing Bobby's voice demanding to know where she was after years of wondering if he even remembered her was fucking her up a little bit. That, paired with the failing organ in her chest made her a little testy. A bit feral. And it didn't take much for her to snap at Blame about the hazmat suit he was complaining about wearing. When he offered her the Elmer heart in his hand, she latched onto it like a hungry widow spider did its prey, shoving it inside her chest with a shudder.
It wouldn't last long out there, but it was better than nothing. 
_
Bryce was absolutely disgusted with the state of the world. The green assholes she’d met on the outside were even worse than she’d been rumored to be while she was the reigning CEO of multiple Fortune 500 companies. Even the low-income, tattooed heathen she was stuck with seemed like better company. If anyone wanted to know if she’d grown soft on the boy, they could eat a dick and choke on it.
But she did feel a bit bad when they stumbled across the bodies of his friends, giving him a moment alone with them to say his goodbye’s. They were all so young; probably just around her own son’s age. It was a shame, really.
As she roamed the Corn Hole Café, she could hear Blame speaking words of love to his friends and she wondered what it must feel like to lose someone like that, or to care if she did.
“Hey assholes!” Bryce’s head whipped around to the door so fast she rocked a bit in her heels. How the fuck did he find them?
“The lesbian..” She muttered to herself, suddenly regretting not killing her when she had the chance.
“Come out here with your hands up and we’ll fuck you with lube!” Bobby and his disgusting little henchmen laughed to themselves. What was it with villains and laughing like maniacs? 
Rolling her eyes, Bryce made her way back over to Blame, stepping over bodies as she went, but the idiot had decided to antagonize the assholes outside instead of staying quiet and going over a plan.
There was a series of several gunshots and Blame ducked out of Suck’s line of fire, crawling quickly toward the time machine they’d come for in the first place.
Bryce knew what she had to do.
40 years imagining and going over this very moment were thrown directly out of the window. Fuck what Elmer said, this was her purpose. Bobby was her beginning and her end.
“Don’t hurt the boy, Bobby. It’s me you’re after, remember?” She slowly made her way out of the café, putting herself between Bobby and Blame, her hands raised in surrender. She wasn’t even going to try to fight this. “It’s me you nuked this entire fucking planet trying to destroy and yet, here I am, standing like a boner.”
Bobby actually looked…hurt, which was what she was afraid of. Those damn sad fucking eyes - until they filled with rage.
“Nothing ever goes my way!” He cried, every bit as much the pissed off seven-year-old he used to be.
“I got access to a time machine,” She bargained, gesturing over her shoulder, “We can go back and fix all this. Not just the apocalypse but…everything, Bobby.” She wanted that more than she’d ever wanted anything. Standing here, seeing him again, she realized that he was the piece missing from her life; his absence in her life the reason she was so miserable. She hadn’t realized just how fucking much she missed Bobby until he was right in front of her. All she wanted to do was go to him; maybe…hug him. It was all very confusing and uncomfortable. 
Bobby was the one who got away and she had no one to blame but herself. But she had a chance to fix that. To keep him in her life and keep him out of prison. To have him forever.
“I’m sorry, Bryce.” He seemed to hesitate, bouncing on his feet like he did when he was anxious. Did he…have tears in his eyes? “But I waited forty goddamn years in prison for this fuckin’ moment, now I’m gonna skin you like a goddamn pig!”
Bryce was almost disappointed. Not surprised though; prison did awful things to the mind. Bobby was a child when he entered the system; and an innocent child at that. She was the reason he’d grown up that way and he’d had a long time to ruminate in his hate.
She sighed, the smile on her face waning with the ache she felt in her chest. A hollow, awful kind of pain. She knew exactly where this was going. They wouldn’t get a happy ending.
“Well shit, I figured as much.” She turned back toward the café where she’d heard the door creak open softly. “Get out of here now, Blame!”
“Yeah, but what about you, dawg?” How sweet. He was actually concerned about her safety. It would figure that she’d gain some attachment to humanity when she was prepared to leave it.
“This is my purpose,” she told him  and then scooped up the rifle at her feet, pointing it directly at the green man in front of her. He had a knife. He planned to murder her and make it personal.
_
Bobby took a step back, brows furrowed, holding the knife out in front of him warily. He was terrified to admit that his feelings toward Bryce had never really changed. He had missed her and now here she was. Was he prepared to lose her again?
Would she do it? Would she use the gun on him? If her interviews were anything to go by, Bryce Tankthrust was an absolute force of power. She was not to be underestimated or to be fucked with. At this point, Bobby wasn’t sure what to expect.
There were gunshots from the café behind her, where the boy she’d been protecting had disappeared, but Bryce didn’t even flinch. Her focus was narrowed, and it was all on him. The force of it was crushing.
Could he do it? Could he actually take a knife to her?
_
Bryce’s hands tightened and then loosed on the rifle at least three times. No matter what she did, she could not make her finger tighten on that trigger. A heat bubbled up inside her and everything came rushing out all at once. “DAMMIT!” She cried in anguish, dropping the gun from Bobby’s face. “I can’t do it!”
She stared at the ground, ashamed of the guilt; the weakness she felt for Bobby. Even now.
“I thought I was heartless, but there still seems to be people I can’t bring myself to kill.” It didn’t matter what Bobby did to the world or even to her; she wouldn’t take the first shot.
_
Bobby let out a small breath of relief when Bryce dropped the nose of the rifle.
She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t hurt him.
It almost made him reconsider what he was about to do. It almost made him drop the knife and run to take her hand. To live out the rest of their days as the worst living couple in existence. Almost.
“Well then allow me,”
_
The next thing Bryce felt was the plunge of metal in her abdomen, and then three more just like it. And then heat, more intense than she could ever fathom. There was so much blood and so much pain. She was dying; she'd died enough times to know it immediately.
“You stupiiiiiiid cunt!” Bobby gloated, kneeling over her to laugh in her face. Bryce coughed with the pain, blood leaking from her parted lips. "You call yourself evil. You couldn’t even kill me and I’m a fucking terrorist!”
“You’re right,” Bryce sighed, meeting Bobby’s eyes. She was resigned to her fate now, but that didn’t mean she had to do it alone, “I just need a little push.” Bryce ripped the hazmat suit from her face and took a deep inhale of the radioactive oxygen around them. Immediately, her skin flushed a deep green, altering and corrupting her very cells, turning her into someone who could actually kill the love of her life.
Bryce lifted the blade from her stomach, watching as it slid out of her flesh covered in her blood. Bobby held her wrist the entire time, eyes wide and full of fear. He knew, as well, where this was going.
As Bobby screamed about the deep injustice of it all, Bryce plunged the blade into his torso; once, twice…and then four more times, crying out as if it was killing her too. The pain she felt was much more than just physical. It ripped at her insides and squeezed at her throat. She didn’t want this. No matter what Bobby did to her, she never wanted to hurt him. But to save this disgusting planet, she needed to bring down the very worst of the assholes inhabiting it.
Bryce rolled onto her back beside her childhood friend who was staring up at the smog-hidden sky above them as they both gasped and choked on their last remaining breaths. Bryce watched his face, wishing that he might reach out and take her hand in these final few moments.
“You know what’s crazy?” Bobby forced out between gasps. “Every decision we’ve ever made has led to this moment.”
Bryce felt herself relax into the grass as she laughed warmly. He remembered.
Bryce felt her heart give out when she heard Bobby take his last breath. Her eyes lost their focus and she imagined what life might have been had they been able to start over.
Bobby had once been the most important person in Bryce’s life. More than the son she’d named after him. More than her own living, breathing sister.
In another world, perhaps, Bryce would have taken Bobby’s hand and they would have run away together. They might have fallen in love; genuinely and immensely. She might have become the most powerful woman in the world – president, even – supported at every step by her super-hot, super-villain boyfriend.
In another world, maybe they’d have started a little evil family of their own – she’d always liked the name Delmar (would they even make good parents??). Maybe they’d have a wedding on the roof of a skyscraper and start their honeymoon by blowing some shit up.
Maybe they’d be happy.
And she’d never need to steal a heart again, because she’d already have one freely given.
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Author’s Notes:
 I realized after writing this that Helen and Bryce are not actually sisters in this universe but I can’t be bothered to change it. They are sisters in this fic, though it doesn’t really change the story. If you know Helen, growing up with Bryce Tankthrust as an older sister would explain a lot.
Bryce does have a son, mentioned only once and briefly. The biological father is unknown and he does not currently have a name. It doesn’t seem like he and Bryce are close. In my fic, I named him Robert (after Bobby T-T), BUT I have since decided that Delmar Lysol (from Brandon’s video, Family Friendly Halloween) could have only come from the loins and environment of these two fucked up assholes, so he’s their son...in another timeline.
This is NOT a healthy relationship (then again, is anyone healthy in the BRCU??) but Bryce and Bobby are villains for a reason. They’re assholes. To everyone. Everyone in this universe is an asshole (except for precious Sam, I do believe, though he has his moments)
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christiewryte · 4 years ago
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World of Warcraft: Shadowlands spoilers ahead.
Alright so sorry but I just gotta rant right now, because I got to the point last night of having to make my Covenant choice and I just
can’t.
For two reasons. One, because I really only give half a shit about any of the factions, so I’m really not chomping at the bit to swear my soul to any of them. And two, because it’s such a stupid fucking asspull that I have to choose one at all.
Literally the only explanation given for why I’m choosing a single Covenant to dedicate myself to is so that I don’t “spread myself too thin.” But that’s obvious fucking horseshit, because by this point I’ve already quested through between 50-90% of the physical landmass of each Covenant’s zone depending on which, and resolved a shit ton of problems that they’d all been struggling with since before I ever arrived. I fast tracked through years’ worth of the Kyrian ascension process in a matter of hours, became the chosen of the Necrolords’ Primus, delivered Ysera to rebirth, and rebuilt the shattered Venthyr rebellion and exposed the Master’s betrayal of the pantheon, and run multiple errands to the supposedly inescapable Maw in the process. The idea that I’ll be “spread too thin” is obvious nonsense even before getting into the fact that I’ve never had a problem saving more factions than these measly four all at the same time in past expansions, and made only even more bullshit by the fact that this restriction means I can only complete the storylines of each of these zones that I’m supposedly invested in by playing four different characters at endgame. This bullshit excuse that I’ll be “spread too thin” actually does the exact fucking opposite and makes me spread myself thin if I want to finish all the storylines.
So let’s talk about those storylines, and why I don’t care enough about any of them to have a strong opinion on which to join.
First off, the big problem: the entire premise of Shadowlands is that this is the literal Warcraft afterlife. The Shadowlands are where mortal souls go when they die, and transition to their eternal existence as part of the Shadowlands.
So why doesn’t it feel like it?
Let’s start with the most egregious example in the Night Fae of Ardenweald. Each Covenant and its zone represents a different afterlife tailored to the needs of different lives. The Kyrian of Bastion take souls that dedicated their lives to duty. The Necrolords of Maldraxxus take souls that craved battle. The Venthyr of Revendreath take wicked souls that need redemption, while those that are beyond redemption are thrown into the Maw. And the Night Fae of Ardenweald take
uh
They never actually talk about why mortal souls end up in Ardenweald, or what they do there. The entire pre-Choice story is about the souls of nature gods being reborn. I think I did maybe half a dozen quests that had me interact with mortal souls in the entire zone, they were all in the first chapter, and the only thing they revealed about the relationship between mortal souls and Ardenweald is that mortal souls take cute animal forms there.
So there we have the five afterlives, encompassing all five kinds of mortals:
Dutiful
Bloodthirsty
Evil
Super Evil
Immortal Nature Gods
This lack of development is hardly unique to Ardenweald, though. While we at least get the basic idea behind what kind of souls end up in each afterlife, it’s largely to totally inconsequential to any of the stories going on, all of which are focused entirely on people we’ve never met before, have nothing to say about their past lives, or both. The Necrolords actually come out best in this regard, as the familiar faces of Draka, Lady Vashj, and Alexandros Mograine all show up throughout the pre-Choice quest experience, but with the exception of Vashj passive-aggressively sniping at you a few times about being part of the raid group that killed her, none of them ever talk about their mortal lives. This is especially galling in the case of Mograine, who we rescue from the Maw with the assistance of his undead son, who gave his life to save his father’s soul from damnation, and clearly has things to say to him, but Alexandros just brushes him off with, “We’ll talk later,” and rushes back off to Maldraxxus to have one inconclusive fight with a traitor before the pre-Choice storyline is over and you’re shuffled off to Ardenweald.
Otherwise, Ardenweald gives us the Ysera’s rebirth as the capstone to its pre-Choice questing and an expy of Ursoc (which is extra ironic as they made an entire cutscene about the Night Fae letting Ursoc’s soul die), Revendreath gives us a few quests where we torment the soul of an inconsequential boss from the MoP reincarnation of a Vanilla dungeon and one instance where a recurring character confronts a moment from their mortal life (and then immediately brushes it aside), and Bastion gives us Uther in an antagonistic role. This last one is at least conceptually interesting as it engages with the nature of how mortal souls are treated in Bastion (they have to give up their memories of their mortal lives as part of the ascension process to become Kyrians), but falls flat because Uther’s involvement never amounts to more than a couple cameos where you don’t engage him in any way whatsoever, and the last time he comes up is to establish that he doesn’t know about the obviously evil shit the rest of the anti-memory wiping side is up to.
This is a massive waste of setting the expansion’s story in the afterlife. The easiest trick they could have used to make us invested in the Covenants and understand what they’re each about would have been populating the pre-Choice storylines heavily with known characters. This would have given us emotional connection to the various Covenants through the pre-existing emotional connections to those characters, and helped us understand who belongs in each afterlife and what it has to offer to mortal souls through our pre-existing understanding of those characters. The only reason the Necrolords are even in the running for my Covenant choice is that my main character is a female orc from the Frostwolf clan who was inspired to become a shaman by Thrall’s example, so serving alongside his mother would make a lot of sense for her. Hell, if Draka was a soulbind option (and oh boy, are we gonna come back to soulbinds), I’d probably go Necrolords despite Maldraxxus easily being the zone I want to look at the least.
Other than these few returning faces, everyone that we meet in the afterlife pre-Choice is someone completely new, and none but the Accuser and not!Ursoc offer even the briefest glimpse of their mortal lives. For that matter, it’s very unclear which denizens of the Shadowlands are mortal souls, and which are native creatures. It is explicitly spelled out that mortal souls ascend to be Kyrians in Bastion and souls that find redemption in Revendreath can become Venthyr, but what the hell is going on in Maldraxxus where everyone seems to be transformed into one of a limited number of forms specific to the realm, except for Draka, Vashj, and Alexandros, who all retain their mortal forms? Mortal souls barely seem to exist at all in Ardenweald. Do they eventually become the various fae creatures that populate the zone, or is Ardenweald really so oriented entirely toward the rebirth of nature spirits that there are only about a dozen mortal souls in the entire place?
And the big question that doesn’t ever seem to be addressed: what happens to souls that die in the Shadowlands? Do they just come back and restart their afterlives? Is there an after-afterlife they go to? Or are they uberdead, erased from existence? If it’s the former, why do any of the people here get upset about someone else dying? If it’s that last one, you’d think a lot of the Shadowlands’ denizens would be a lot more hesitant to engage in deadly combat. If nothing else Maldraxxus, where you’re welcomed to the afterlife by having to be the last soul standing in a giant battle to the death, would be kind of a shit reward for a life lived according to the place’s ideals. But nothing; everyone’s attitude toward dying in the Shadowlands is exactly the same as the attitude toward dying expressed by anyone in any of the living realms we’ve battled through over the years.
Combine the unfamiliar faces with never addressing what dying after death means, then throw in bog standard quests about harvesting lumber or controlling the local animal population, and the Shadowlands really doesn’t feel like an afterlife. It’s just another new set of zones that brings up death conceptually more often than usual in the course of sending us out to make it happen nonconceptually. Maldraxxus and Ardenweald in particular are basically indistinguishable from any Scourge- or night elf-heavy zone from previous content, respectively.
Well, what about themes and aesthetics? Well, aesthetically the Kyrians are all about that Holy Light, the Necrolords and Venthyr are two different flavors of undeath, and the Night Fae are just another in WoW’s proud tradition of nature = druid = night elf (ffs they couldn’t even be bothered to name them something else). As an orc shaman, none of those fit me. Night Fae is probably the closest, but even that’s screaming “DRUID” so loudly and exclusively that I don’t feel right there. Honestly, how hard would it have been to toss in one of the troll loas or some elementals somewhere in that zone?
Thematically, the Kyrians are about duty, which sounds appropriate for my character, except for the whole, “sacrifice your identity,” thing. The Necrolords are all about might making right, which is the toxic orcish attitude my character has always tried to lead her people away from, even before taking into account that “might” in this definition appears to include might borrowed from a bottle, built out of other people and made to do your fighting for you, and assassinations, to go by the Five Houses of Maldraxxus. I cannot stress enough just how badly the Night Fae failed to explain why anyone who isn’t a druid or at least a night elf belongs in Ardenweald, and while the Venthyrs’ redemption shtick fits my character’s desire to lead the orcs onto a better path, their preferred method is years upon years of torture, which seems a little hypocritical.
So what’s left? Pre-Choice questing has done a shit job of actually connecting me to any of these places, so... I guess I should decide based on the characters? The interface for choosing your Covenant identifies your three possible soulbinds for each choice, and... wait, what the fuck are soulbinds?
No, seriously, this comes all but entirely out of nowhere. Soulbinds are mentioned only a few times in all of pre-Choice content, and it’s solely by the Kyrians. It’s never mentioned by anyone outside of Bastion, and the Kyrians are never anything but vague about what it actually is. The closest understanding the game offers before suddenly introducing it as a power progression system (and not even explaining that fully at this point) until now is a short optional quest chain in Bastion where you deliver a wreath from one NPC to another, who then gets all bubbly, explains that giving a wreath to someone you’re very close to is a symbol of asking them to be your soulbind, and then sends you to pick a flower that she and the other woman planted together at their favorite date spot years ago so she can give her answer. Going by this, soulbinding sounds like it’s a practice specific to the Kyrians, for whom its like marriage (and like any good Disney princess, I want to afterlife-marry for love, and not a dps boost). Now suddenly, we’re presented with three options per faction for soulbind partners (two of whom we’ve already been told are in a soulbind with each other? seriously, wtf is this concept?), some of whom we’ve interacted with for a grand total of five minutes by this point. The Necrolords have an option I’m not sure I’ve even actually met yet.
So... there we go. I’ve got to make a forced choice that it makes no sense to force in the first place about which simultaneously poorly explained and narrowly defined faction full of strangers that don’t act like they’re dead I want to pledge myself to.
Fuck it, it’s probably gonna be Venthyr just because their teleport spell is more useful than a summoned vendor or a second Ghost Wolf.
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dialovers-translations · 5 years ago
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Diabolik Twitter ー Subaru Sakamaki [2017 compilation]
–> This post includes all tweets posted on the official Rejet Twitter account for Subaru Sakamaki (@DiaLoverSubaruS) in 2017.
Shuu l Reiji l Ayato l Kanato l Laito l Ruki l Kou l Yuma l Azusa l Carla l Shin l Kino
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January 4, 2017
> I’m starting off the new year by seeing something disgusting
> That Mukami guy, why is he going through the trouble of sending me a new year’s card!?
--> In Japan, it is a common tradition to send family and friends 年賀状 or ‘nengajo’ for the new year.
> He’s pulling an annoying expression and making a peace sign
> Guess I’ll throw this away
January 20, 2017
> Lately I haven’t been sleeping well
> Maybe I’ll try changing up the inside of my coffin
January 23, 2017
> Somebody wrote ‘Nubaru’ on my coffin
> My name is Subaru
--> In Japanese, they are written ヌバル and スバル respectively, so as you can see, the characters for ‘nu’ and ‘su’ are actually quite similar! If somebody had written the character for ‘su’ (ス) a bit sloppingly, it could end up looking like a ‘nu’ (ヌ)
February 13, 2017
> Ayato’s bragging about his time at the amusement park. Annoying.
> Only kids would enjoy that kind of stuff
> I’m an adult. I’m different from those guys.
February 14, 2017
> Don’t come and talk to me just because you don’t have anyone else to brag to
> I don’t care ‘bout chocolates
February 16, 2017
> What’s his problem
> Reiji started lecturing me as soon as he saw my face
> This talk ‘bout the old man is a pain
> Isn’t he at fault for everything?
> I’ll never forgive him
March 3, 2017
> Why does Kanato know that?
> Listen carefully. You belong to me, I won’t hand you over to anyone else.
> Kanato, I’m gonna kill you later
> Laito, you too
March 14, 2017
> I’m thirsty
> Come here, I’ll suck you till you break
March 22, 2017
> Oi
> Hurry up and give me your blood
> What’s up with you?
> Is that your attempt at fighting back?
> If you don’t want it, use your full strength to try and push me away
> Making that kind of face...You’re basically begging for me to assault you
> Brace yourself
> I won’t stop even if you cry out in pain
> I’ll suck you dry, till the very last drop
> ...Push past your limits.
March 30, 2017
> Shut up
> I’m not interested in this idol bullshit
April 17, 2017
> I took a shower
> That damn octopus, I can’t forgive him
> This is exactly why I didn’t want to accompany Reiji!
> I’m gonna sleep. I don’t care ‘bout what happens anymore!
April 26, 2017
> I can’t believe this
> Who did this!? Which one of you ripped apart my pillow that was just delivered today!?
> When I find out, you won’t get away with this!
May 23, 2017
> Are you stupid?
> For one, there isn’t anything I like enough to gush about it
> Something I want, huh?
> I’m aware. That it’s actually you who are protecting me...That’s why from now on, I’ll be the one protecting you. #LoveLetterDay
> Don’t fuck with me
> There’s only one thing I’d want, a coffin
> I have to get a new one...Somebody painted mine pink behind my back
> They even painted the whole inside...I’m gonna punch them for sure
June 16, 2017
> That Mukami guy gave me this weird magazine
> The ring and the bouquet, even the golden letters look ridiculous
> Also it comes with this over-the-top freebie
> Above all, the fact that he’s on the cover doesn’t sit well with me
July 14, 2017
> Fuck off
> Studying is a waste of time
July 17, 2017
> The roads are jam-packed
> I can’t head home
> This is all Reiji’s fault for forcing me to go grocery shopping
> Losing his mind just because I broke one of his stupid cups
> Fuck this
August 23, 2017
> There’s a queue in front of the game store
> There’s this one guy with stuffy-looking hair standing in line but...It can’t possibly be Carla, right?
> Annoying
> Right now (@Laito)
> The neighbourhood (@Laito)
> Are those guys idiots?
> I wonder if Carla was lining up to get the newest release?
> He was joining shoulders, getting all buddy-buddy with the guys before and after him,
September 6, 2017
> The triplets are a pain in the ass
> They’re spouting this nonsense about becoming the eldest son of the household in Reiji’s place, making a huge deal out of it
> The oldest son is Shuu and not Reiji, you know...
September 27, 2017
> Oi, you, you touched my coffin without permission again, didn’t you?
> Did you think I wouldn’t notice?
> I’d obviously notice when the lid’s completely off to the side
> Are you that interested in my coffin?
> ...If you insist, I don’t mind giving you special permission to use it
> Why are you so happy? Just so you know, I’m not just letting you use it
> This is your punishment for touching it without permission. I’ll lock you up in there for a while
> If you’re gonna protest that much, I don’t mind going in there together
> However, in that case...You know what will happen, right?
> I’ll suck you...Until you lose your mind
> Come on, hurry up and pick which one you’d prefer
> Either way, you can no longer escape
> Just give up and become mine. ...Got it?
November 16, 2017
> I don’t get it
> Having to take one year of supplementary classes if we don’t participate in the sports festival, that’s ridiculous
> Those participating in the ball-tossing game have to gather at the West gate
> Fuck off, who would do that? (@Ayato)
December 25, 2017
> Kou’s annoying
> ‘Merry Christmas’, my ass! I don’t need this picture
> By the way, the Santa and Reindeer he’s posing with look way too intimidating
> I’m deleting this
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jam-knife · 4 years ago
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The Greenhouse
// a short story dedicated to @caustic-c. Here’s some context for what you’re about to read, and here is the post that served as inspiration. Very not safe for work below cut. Warnings: dub-con, a bit violent at it. The language’s very crude. (Non-explicit) mention of personality disorders.
Note: you can use this as reference for our thread, C. I’ve actually spent several hours on this already so I won’t be replying to that today, but in the meantime please accept this! Hope you enjoy it.
After that night, B couldn’t have predicted L would demand a reunion with him ever again. But, honest to his vile reputation in spite of B’s surprise, the detective seemed eager to further demonstrate the extent to which he wished to humiliate him. It seemed that robbing him of his virginity under false pretexts of youthful abandonment, and dragging his dignity across the floor while at it, was still not enough. He wanted to infect B’s memory so that the poisonous idea of him would remain when the flesh no longer did.
“Good afternoon, B.” He said, the cold bitch, as he put down the spoon and took a sip of a beverage that was more sugar than tea. Black wide eyes fixed on B, making him sick. “Will you not join me?”
“I’m still overcoming the shock.” He answered while displaying a purposefully forced smile. “I thought you said that, luckily, we would never see each other again. I was counting on it.”
“That’s funny. I made you out to be good at working under unexpected circumstances.”
“And I made you out to be too proud to contradict yourself. I guess my people-judging skills are still a work in progress.”
“Just ‘guess’?” A muscle in B’s jaw twitched, but he made a conscious effort to stay put. He didn’t want to give the man any more proof to label him an impulse-driven animal with anger management issues. “Well, since you won’t be taking a seat anytime soon, let’s go for a walk.” L put the teacup down and stood up.
The walk through the orphanage’s grounds was sluggish and silent. B didn’t feel like addressing L or recognising his existence, and L didn’t seem eager to force him just yet. It was alright, in a way, but also annoying since B couldn’t dillucidate why the detective would waste his time if he didn’t intend to talk.
However, that silence was unlike any other they had shared before. It was not the sweet awkwardness that should follow a steamy night in the sheets and several months of separation. Nor the kind that they had purposefully held during late night meetings, as curious gazes flirtatiously wandered about. This silence was thick with uncovered deception, resentment over harsh words, and the stifling awareness that giving away how much anger lingered would be more dangerous than cathartic.
“It has been a while since I last been here.” L, finally, said. “The gardens look good. Are the greenhouses new?”
“Yes. Some of the kids got interested in botany after that class on natural poisons.” B replied conversationally, as he followed L, who had stepped into one of the structures. “I wouldn’t touch anything if I were you.”
Though, knowing who this particular greenhouse belonged to, the risk of the mighty international-reputation detective being poisoned by a colorful plant was insignificant compared to the pandemonium Roger would unleash if L spotted and informed him of C’s massive cannabis supply.
“I see… I’ll choose to believe none of these are being used by the kids for purposes that are not purely educational.” L replied, definitely having spotted it. “Do you-”
“L, what do you want.”
B cut him, and the detective went carefully silent. Enough of this bullshit, he had no time for it. He had no need nor desire to engage in conversation with his predecessor, and every minute that was ridiculously wasted away was a new test of his patience.
“I thought you made your point clear last time. I’m not fit to inherit the title. I’m too volatile, and selfish. If anything, I’m surprised you didn’t shove whatever that idiot psychiatrist fed you in my face too.”
“Your conversations with Dr. Jeffrey are protected under professional-”
“Yeah, right. And now you’ll tell me my little ‘disorder’ has nothing to do with the Successor’s game being rigged.” L’s expression darkened at that. “Oh? You thought me too stupid to figure that much out?”
“No.”
Beyond looked away, and focused on his breathing. He counted to ten, then backwards, just like the aforementioned psychiatrist had advised. Lashing out now would do nobody no good. The momentary pleasure that would come with smacking the mighty L across his stupid face was not worth the consequences.
This whole situation was ridiculous.
“Why did you call for me?” It was a rhetorical question… he didn’t need or want an answer. What he wanted was to walk away and never see L again, this time for real. Fuck the title. Fuck this whole god-forsaken place. There was never a chance for him here to begin with, so the least self-indulgence he should be allowed was the right to refuse to put up with this bullshit.
But that was not the reason why L’s answer -which came soft, wary, and after a long hesitant pause- shocked him.
“I want to have sex with you.”
B froze. Blinked. Stood still for a while longer, then turned to direct an accusing glare at L… but the detective wasn’t looking back, his eyes cast down instead, his sharp cheekbones dyed a subtle pink. A fake expression. It just- it couldn’t be genuine.
“What the… do you actually think me stupid enough to fall for that bullshit again?”
One, two, three-
“I’m serious.” L retorted, growing redder.
“Why the fuck should I believe you.” In spite of how angry B was, he didn’t raise his voice, and limited his true feelings to a gelid glare. “You spread your legs and begged me to fuck you, then merely hours later you claimed it was a test, and treated me like less than shit. What makes this any different?”
“It’s not…” He was saying, but he shrank when he noticed B’s rejection written all over his face. “I… I know you don’t believe me. You’re wise for not doing so.”
“No kidding.”
“But I can prove it to you.” L moved one step closer, his eyes, full of intent, fixed on him. “I can show you-”
To the detective’s distaste, Beyond laughed. But the sound held no joy, just resentment.
“How desperate are you… seriously.” He leaned back, supporting some of his weight on the edge of the table behind him. “How badly do you plan to degrade yourself just to make a fool out of me…” L’s only answer was a bashful blush. B looked away. He couldn’t handle that sight right now. “What is this, L… what can you possibly gain from manipulating me into having sex with you again? Or what, are you still bitter that I said you’re sad? Whatever you’re trying to prove, either to me or yourself, I’m not letting you use me to do it.”
“But you liked it.” Was all the man said, after a long silence. B didn’t answer, and L, realizing this, pushed further. “I know you did. I… liked it too. I want it.”
“I don’t.”
“You don’t?”
“No.”
“Because you don’t believe I mean it.”
“Because I’ve moved on, L!” B grit his teeth, mad at himself for revealing how upset he was. One, two, three… “What were you expecting… that you’d tell me how thirsty you were and I’d jump right into it? After you delivered a whole fucking monologue explaining how you manipulated me? You can’t seriously think I let my bed grow cold without you.”
“No… I guess not.”
B blinked. L’s voice sounded lower than usual, his breath uncharacteristically strong. His eyes now mirrored some of the hostility B himself felt. This was pointless. He couldn’t take his anger out on L without fearing getting kicked out of the orphanage, and this whole ludicrous situation wasn’t even half as hilarious as it should have been in theory. Not even L’s evident irritation brought him any pleasure.
He moved, shifting his energy towards the exit -but didn’t even get one step taken before the detective’s hands were on his chest, pushing him back. The edge of the table dug a painful line on his lower back. There was a clatter, and a pot fell. It was smashed on impact spreading dirt all over the floor.
But that barely registered in B’s mind. His whole focus was on L, now on his knees in front of him, pulling B’s shirt up to expose the front of his jeans.
“What the fuck are you-”
“What does it look like?” L didn’t waste another second, and simply unzipped them, revealing B’s underwear. Long pale fingers were steadily finding their way into the elastic waistband-
B grabbed L aggressively by the collar of his oversized white shirt.
“I said I don’t want to. What is wrong with you?” He growled, his cock blatantly soft beneath the clothing. But then the detective raised his eyes, wide and glistening with lust, to his face. He stared at B, flushed and determined, from below. And against his will and common sense, B felt his lower, stupider half twitch in anticipation.
“I’m proving you how serious I am.”
“You’re sick…” B muttered, and L’s eyes gleamed when he, too, detected the decrease in his resistance.
“Push me away then.”
B wanted to. Every part of his mind was screaming, yelling at him to do so. But his hands were frozen, and it was way too easy for L to push them away and pull B’s briefs down. There was no ceremony to it. No games of seduction, no intent for tease. L simply took his semi and guided almost half of it into his hot mouth.
B cursed in his mother tongue, his hands grabbing the table so hard the wood creaked and his knuckles turned white. L’s technique for fellatio wasn’t great, but it was definitely doing something, B thought begrudgingly, when his dick hardened completely against the roof of L’s mouth. It only made him angrier… it was unfair that he couldn’t dismiss L’s ministrations with the same displeased indifference he felt for him personally. But he shut his eyes and forced himself to endure it, not wanting to kick the man off him and finding his dick scraped by teeth.
He hated this. He hated L. Hated that he couldn’t stop it. Hated even more that it felt too fucking good. A shuddering breath escaped his mouth; it was mortifying. The man on his knees was eager, compensating his lukewarm skills with sheer enthusiasm, and B grew closer to the edge as someone being harshly, forcefully dragged by the ankles against his will would.
The only idea of L bringing him to a rough, jarring climax made him taste bile. So when he felt himself pulsing and leaking, he shut his eyes tight and channeled his energy towards imagining A on his knees before him, sucking him dry. If he was going to cum anyway, he wouldn’t do it with L in his mind. He plunged himself so hard into the fantasy he found himself, in those last moments, digging his hands in raven hair -coppery in his imagination- and messily thrusting into that hot tight throat. L choked, but B paid him no mind. He was too busy having what was probably the most violent orgasm in his life so far. B moaned, long and ragged.
And then it was over. He was panting, coated in sweat, and L was coughing. His face was flushed and there was semen dripping down his chin, but he looked strangely satisfied with himself. It was irritating.
“What the hell are you grinning for.” He growled, fighting his dazed lethargy and tucking himself back inside his pants.
“Sorry, I was of the impression you enjoyed that.” The detective replied, still hoarse yet cockier than ever, as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Don’t take my having functional genitalia as a personal victory.”
“Oh.” L then stood up. B realised he was incredibly close, now that he wasn’t kneeling. He had his eyes narrowed and he smelled of sex. “Would you like it better if I were writhing in pain?”
B glared at him. He had to admit, the appeal of bringing L to that state was growing stronger by the minute.
“You know what’s most pathetic?” He spat, finally, as his eyes dragged down and spotted L’s boner. “If I slammed you face first against this table and fucked your brains out until you bled, you would let me.”
“Try me.”
Their eyes locked. And fuck, B might as well do it. He could feel it itching on every nerve end of his body: the desire to hurt. To raw that fucking bastard until he tore him in half, to choke him, to get off on his screams of agony. The only thing stopping him was knowing that it was exactly what L wanted. Not the pain, but to prove he was right about B.
Beyond reached out, and cupped the bulge in L’s jeans. That caught the man off guard. He gasped, and that noise slowly melted into a pleased whine as B massaged his cock through the jeans. His hands came to rest on B’s chest, his forehead on B’s shoulder, and he rocked his hips against B’s palm. B leaned into his ear then.
“Jerk yourself off, you pathetic excuse of a man.”
And he pushed the detective away. He didn’t wait for L to regain his balance and reply; no, he simply walked away. Found the nearest wall and punched it. When A asked him about his split knuckles he didn’t answer.
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ice-cream-nekogirl · 6 years ago
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Young Love and an Episode of Friends (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader)
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Summary: Bakugou’s always called you useless, especially because of your inconvenient quirk and love for ‘stupid TV shows’, but you’re determined to prove him wrong.
Hehe what kind of fangirl am I? Posting this just a day before Kacchan’s birthday...? Ah but I’m cruel lol... cuz there gonna be some ANGST in here guys... ENJOY~! And enjoy the American Horror Story Allusions!
BTW SORRY FOR ANY OOC-NESS!!
Featuring: Lord Explosion Murder!!
Your Quirk: Descensum
You can astral project and travel deep into spiritual planes and cross into the afterlife, but not returning to your physical body in 15 minutes will result in death. 
You sighed as you retreated back into the comfort of your neighborhood, shaking your head at another failed attempt to talk to him. Bakugou was so difficult sometimes, even though you loved him. You knew you did, most people said it was only a ‘crush’, but you knew that you loved that jerk with all your heart. No matter how many times he hurt your feelings.
But while your heart longed for him, your brain was also telling you (like many of your other friends) that you deserved better than how he was treating you.
“You know if you need anyone… a listening ear or anything at all Katsuki, I’m here. I’m always here…” You had said to him, but all he did was scowl at you, almost looking insulted that you had offered him such a thing.
“Tch, shut up… I don’t need your help, or anyone else’s. Besides, why the hell are you offering help? You can’t do shit… not with your useless quirk, or in general.” His words were scathing and cutting you slowly, but you endured them for the sake of your friendship. Especially after everything that had happened to his class from the Summer Camp incident, the kidnapping, the Culture Festival and everything else that was currently going on.
Sure you were just a student from the General Studies due to your passive quirk, but it didn’t mean you didn’t want to help. Your friend Shinsou was able to rise above the ranks after all and his quirk was passive like yours. You wanted to help out in any way too, even if you were still in the General Studies.
“I might not have the most practical quirk, but that’s not important… I mean it, I’m not just saying stuff, look I know it hasn’t been an easy time for you and your class and I want to try and-“ He quickly cut you off before you could keep talking.
“You want to try and what? To feel important?” Bakugou scoffed at you as you almost timidly looked away from the ferocity in his eyes. “No that’s not…”
“Don’t bullshit me. It’s always been that… all you’ve done is follow me and that damn nerd your entire life because of how weak you are.” He said, not seeming to care that you were visibly hurting from every word he was saying.
“Your quirk is useless in battle. And you can’t even use it without a time limit holding you back… when’s the last time you’ve heard of a hero who saved people with astral projection? You’re better off quirkless.”
It surprised you to hear him say that, since you swore he almost sounded concerned as his hardened features softened ever so slightly, at least until he just glared at you again. “So don’t go offering something you can’t give.” Bakugou said one last time before he turned his back to you and left you alone outside the Heights Alliance.
Which is what led you to where you were at now, on your way back home where you would wallow in your room for the rest of the day. Maybe you would get lucky another time.
On the weekends you made sure to try and hang out with Izuku and Bakugou as much as possible, even though they were often busy with their schoolwork since they had much different work than you did. However, you still made sure to at least say ‘hi’ or even offer to hang out with them.
Today you got lucky thanks to the sweet Kirishima and Mina inviting you on their trip to the mall that they had to drag Bakugou to. Which amused you as you snickered at how Sero and Kaminari literally pulled him along.
You did try to talk to him again though, just to try and ease his bad mood. “Hee~… since you’re finally having a break from all your work, do you wanna come over to my house and watch  an episode of Friends?” You offered with a smile, but Bakugou wasn’t even giving you a smirk.
“No.” His reply was quick. “That show is overrated. I don’t get it.” He added, which kind of disappointed you since he knew you liked that show, but you knew he just wasn’t big on it. Though, you remembered when he would watch it with you during your middle school years.
You really missed those days. Bakugou wasn’t exactly sweet back then either, but lately he’s just been all stick and no sugar. At least some days he would humor and reluctantly watch a ‘stupid show’ with you just so you would stop bothering him.
But you didn’t want to fight so you shrugged your shoulders, “Well it ain’t for everyone.” You said passively, wanting to just avoid any kind of confrontation, “Do you maybe want to go stop someplace for ice cream maybe?”
“No.” Another quick reply, and you could tell he was getting annoyed with your offers. Instead of getting upset though, you just pouted.
Bakugou didn’t miss your disappointment though, he was aware that his answers were putting you down. It’s not that he didn’t care about your feelings, but he couldn’t waste his time just fooling around when he had his training to focus on. Admittedly, he did kind of miss just hanging out with you a little bit, but you would never know that because he wasn’t going to drop his priorities for you. He didn’t like to acknowledge his weaknesses, even though he was coming to terms that he still had a lot of work to do.
And after much denial, he eventually told himself that you were one of those weaknesses, and he hated it. He hated you for it too; he hated that he actually gave a shit about you and at times did worry about you. You would never know though, he would never let you know.
Which is why he was so annoyed with your constant offers to hang out, and how ignorant you were to how he felt. Why were you so attached to him?
He growled lightly when he saw you trying to come up with something else. You were so oblivious it was pissing him off.
“Ooh, well hey how about maybe next week we go and see the new Avengers? We can even cut in front of everyone and be the first ones in.” You suggested with a big grin, because you had been going on and on to your friends about how excited you were for that movie. Especially Izuku and Shinsou, your two closest friends besides Bakugou.
Now you were positive that Bakugou would accept this offer, but all he did was give you that same glare. “Like I’ve been saying only a hundred fucking times, No! Instead of focusing on fake heroes in those damn TV shows and movies, maybe you should focus on your own work, stupid.”
Okay, that hurt.
“Okay… jeez… you know you don’t always have to be such an asshole.” You crossed your arms and pouted, but Bakugou didn’t yield. “Whatever.” He muttered, feeling like arguing with you would be a waste of time he walked ahead of you to leave you again.
You watched him walk away, your pout turning more into a frown as you sighed heavily and started walking into another direction.
“I just wanna go home in bed, eat cookie dough ice cream and watch Friends for the rest of my life…” You muttered to yourself as you peered inside a furniture store that had everything from mattresses, wide flat-screen TV’s and sofas. The perfect environment to wallow in misery.
Who the hell did Katsuki think he was? You wondered as you walked into the store and sat down on one of the mattresses. It was nice and soft, and you wondered in amusement if Shinsou’s mentor Mr. Aizawa would like this bed.
To get a better feel of the material, you lied down and rather enjoyed the billowy cushion. It helped that your quirk required to lie down so you could let your soul project from your body freely. Your quirk wasn’t useless, it was cool. In fact, you felt like Eleven from Stranger Things.
As you closed your eyes, you decided to experiment with your quirk that required you to chant the magic words.
“Spiritu duce, in me est. Deduce me in tenebris vita ad extremum, ut salutaret inferi… Descensum!”
You felt yourself almost sink rather quickly as your soul left your body and transported you to the other plane. As you opened your eyes, you saw your body lying on the bed, without a soul as you turned to see other people just walking about in the mall.
Giggling a bit, you momentarily walked around the small store and when someone walked right past you, they cringed and shuddered. Clearly, they could feel your presence but just couldn’t explain it as you tried not to laugh.
Feeling adventurous you opened your arms out and jumped up to float about among the spiritual plane, looking around the mall in awe as it looked much smaller in mid-air. And as you floated around, you saw Kaminari with Sero, and Mina with Jiro! And you tried not to snicker when you saw Bakugou yelling at a sheepish looking Kirishima.
You wondered what they were all talking about…
However, you couldn’t have too much fun because spiritual planes were all fun and games until you got yourself stuck in another part of the netherworlds and couldn’t find your way back without some otherworldly forces interfering and keeping you from going back to your body.
So you flew back to the store, but before you could return to your body you noticed that you weren’t alone when you noticed a pair of yellow eyes staring right at you.
It was a man, or at least it appeared to be a man. He was tall and strange-looking with a white face smeared in black and white skeletal make-up along with a black suit and tie and a rather nice top black hat. The man smiled at you, almost politely as you blinked slowly. It became clear to you that he must have had a similar quirk of sorts, but this was kind of making you uncomfortable, so you quickly made your way back into your body.
You took a deep breath as you opened your eyes. One thing about your quirk is that every time you came back, it felt like coming alive just shortly after dying since your body was empty without your soul to occupy it. Which was somewhat dangerous since anything and anybody could do things with your body as long as your soul wasn’t in it.
But the scariest part was that you would supposedly die if you didn’t return to your body in 15 minutes according to your mother, whose mother had the same quirk and had died from herself. You wondered if that’s why Bakugou was such an ass to you when it came to your quirk. Maybe he worried about you. Since your mother had explained to you that your quirk, called ‘Descensum’, was a hereditary one that supposedly came a bloodline of witches from Salem.
Thankfully you had gotten pretty good with coming back to your body at a record of 5 minutes each time you descended. But after seeing that person you just wanted to go back to the Bakusquad and then go home to watch Friends and eat ice cream like you had planned.
However, as soon as you exited the store the same man you saw startled you by appearing right beside you.
“Your quirk is quite fascinating young one.” The man said in the smoothest tone you had ever heard from anyone. For some reason he reminded you of that villain you heard of from Shigaraki’s gang of goons. Mr. Compress you think was the name.
But it kind of alarmed you that this person knew and witnessed your quirk at work (Hey that rhymed). And you couldn’t be so trusting since Izuku had an ordeal of his own with Shigaraki here at this mall. Who’s to say that this person wasn’t a villain in disguise?
“Thank you. Not many people seem to think so… honestly sometimes I don’t think so either.” You shyly mumbled, smiling just a little bit for the sake of being polite despite your discomfort, and this stranger seemed to know it.
“You are welcome. Do not let their words convince you that your quirk has no use.”
“I try… but… you’d be amazed at how some words can hurt…”
“Especially when those words are from the young spitfire Katsuki Bakugou. Correct?” You gasped and widened your eyes a bit. How did he know about Bakugou?
“H-How did you know…?”
“I know many a great deal about the people I set my eyes upon. It comes with my own little gift.” He smiled almost sweetly, keeping his luminous amber eyes on you the whole time and unsettling your very skin. Was he looking into your soul? Was that his quirk?
You didn’t want to be rude, but you couldn’t help but ask. “Um… who are you exactly?” You asked as politely as possible, and he gave a rather jaunty chuckle.
“I like to call myself ‘Shinigami’.” He answered, and that made you wonder if he had some kind of death-related quirk given his appearance and namesake. Although you didn’t want to be quick to judge since some of the other kids in Class 1-A were quite strange in appearance such as that raven boy Tokoyami, or the multi-armed boy Shoji, but you heard from Izuku that they were some of the nicest guys in the class.
And this man was treating you kindly enough, but the secrecy in his gentlemanly smile and demeanor didn’t make you feel at ease at all.
“There was fear you know? For all his bravado there was fear during the time when he was kidnapped. Thoughts going through his head… wondering… would he ever see his classmates again? His friends? His parents? Would he ever see you again?” Shinigami began saying these things that didn’t make sense, at least until you pieced them together and your eyes widened ever so slightly as your mouth dropped a little bit. Did he mean that Bakugou was actually afraid when he was kidnapped by the League of Villains. You always assumed that he was, but he never admitted it or really even talked about it with you. And it shocked you when this person said that Bakugou actually thought about you during that time in his life…
Did he really think about you in that traumatic moment?
However, instead of dwelling on that too much, you were becoming extremely creeped out by just how much this person knew about your friend, and possibly your other friends if what he said about his quirk implied anything. “I-I don’t think…”
“It was one of the most terrible times in his life. Behind that machismo lies a little boy who was frightened by the big scary men and women who were able to take him away and render him powerless just for a moment… and to have his childhood idol risk everything for him after?” Shinigami’s smile turned ominous, even if it wasn’t you he was talking about. It didn’t mean you weren’t freaked out, but you were glad Bakugou wasn’t here. You didn’t want to imagine how he would have reacted if he heard this stranger delving far too much into his personal life and picking at old wounds.
“Truly… it impacted him greatly… it is something the boy can never truly forget… but he will never let you know it… his care for you is genuine… but he is much more interested in pushing you away…” He finally stopped his creepy talk, but as soon as it became more about you, it made you gasp a bit.
But the worst part is it all made perfect sense. Bakugou never confided in you about anything, even though you tried to tell him that you were always there for him, but all he did was push you away.
Just thinking about it brought tears to your eyes, even though you wondered why did you let him treat you like that? Why did you stay even though he was mean to you? Why were you so attached to him?
“You love him.” Shinigami seemed to read your emotions and answered all the questions you were asking yourself. The man sounded like he was touched, but you couldn’t tell if it was genuine. You blushed heavily at the accusation, but you were finding it difficult to argue, “I-I don’t… I… no that’s not it…” You weren’t fooling anyone, not even yourself.
“You love him, but he does not love you the way you love him. He thinks you are weak. A distraction. Why do you think he does not confide in you? It would be a waste of his time…”
Shinigami’s words almost sounded slower as he talked, but it didn’t mean you didn’t hear what he was saying. They seemed to slow down just so you would be forced to hear and let the reality sink in.
Bakugou didn’t love you the way you loved him. He thought you were weak. A distraction for him. A waste of his time.
As the words rung in your head, singing the song that was crumbling your heart and bringing you a special kind of pain that felt hellish. You remembered your other friends. Like Izuku and Shinsou, two guys who you knew were in your corner. They had your back. Izuku was always there for you, and Shinsou grew a soft spot for you since you both bonded over your quirks during his time in the General Studies.
“Why waste your own time on a man who does not love you?” Shinigami then asked you, and once you slowly got over the pain of reality, you looked at him, and you shook your head.
“I do love him. I don’t think giving him the time of day is a waste of time though. Katsuki’s an asshole but he’s my friend. But I think I’ll have to kick his ass to make him never forget that… or at least tell him to stop being so mean to me all the damn time…” You came to that conclusion. As much as you loved Katsuki, you didn’t want to put up with his bullshit anymore, but you didn’t want to break off the friendship either.
And you were positive that you could try and get him to ease up just a little bit and see that you weren’t any of the things he called you. You weren’t weak or a distraction. You would be a hero just like him and just as strong as him.
You could do it.
Shinigami almost looked disappointed with what you said, however he said nothing for a while. “Young love.” He finally said, sounding like he understood but it’s clear he wasn’t happy with what he was hearing from you.
You weren’t aware of it though, but you did see his smile grow when he saw somebody over your shoulder. Turning, you saw a somewhat confused Bakugou a couple of feet away, and you blushed heavily when you thought that he might have heard everything…
Shinigami flashed the boy a smile, tipping his hat off to him but Bakugou didn’t take his politeness well as he growled at the man and quickly made his way over to you. “Who the hell are you?” He roughly asked the strange man and stood in front of you, and if you didn’t know any better, you would say that Bakugou was trying to protect you from this person.
“Just a friend. (Y/N) has a very interesting quirk you know? I find it quite fascinating.” Shinigami replied and looked him right in the eye, and you gasped a little bit as soon as he said your name, and Bakugou heard how surprised you sounded.
“Yeah right, get lost you fucking creep before I make you…” Bakugou didn’t hesitate to threaten him as his palm crackled a little bit just to give this weirdo the message. He would have yelled but he couldn’t be so sure if this person was a villain or just some freak and causing a scene would just send the entire mall into a panic. If it were a couple of months ago, he probably would have done that, but he’d been learning to at least try and assess a situation before acting. And on top of that you were right there, he wouldn’t risk you getting hurt with a potential villain so close with an unknown quirk that would probably harm you.
Thankfully Shinigami didn’t seem very put off by his behavior as he only smiled, “Very well then. Farewell children. I think we will see each other again quite soon…”
Even as the man walked away, only then did you feel genuinely scared, “Katsuki… I never told him my name…” You admitted, and even though Shinigami did imply that his quirk let him know many things without a person telling him, it still freaked you out.
“Well maybe don’t talk to strangers next time dumbass!” He somewhat harshly scolded you, grabbing your hand and taking you as far away as possible from this place. Like hell he was going to leave you alone after this.
You tried not to smile, but you couldn’t really help it. You knew he cared!
After a while, you thought about telling the police about that strange man who had talked to you and made you uncomfortable. But you ultimately decided not to as Bakugou walked you home, and once again turned down your offer to watch at least one episode of Friends with you.
Sighing you sat on your sofa, all by yourself since your parents were still at work. They were usually at work which somewhat bothered you, but they loved you so it wasn’t too bad. You just wish someone was here with you.
You couldn’t rely on Bakugou though, and you didn’t want to interrupt any of his friends since they were likely with him. And as much as you didn’t want to bother your other friends, the loneliness was getting a little bit too much so…
You pulled out your phone and started texting your two other best friends. Izuku and Shinsou.
‘Hey Izuku. Srry 4 sudden text. But if u’re not busy. Feel free 2 come over 2 my house. Gonna watch Friends.’
God you felt dumb and pathetic just for texting your friend, and immediately you expected him to say no. And so you decided to text Shinsou too.
‘Hi Toshi. Gonna watch Friends. Wanna watch with a friend? AKA Me?’
You kind of snickered at your terrible pun as you instantly got a text back from him.
‘That is your worst pun yet.’
‘But Sure.’
You nearly jumped up from your sofa, grinning widely when your friend ACTUALLY took up your offer and was going to come to your place. And your joy didn’t cease when Izuku texted back shortly afterward.
‘Hi (Y/N)! Sure thing. I’m not busy so sure I would love to watch Friends with you.’
Izuku really was a sweetheart. You were sure he probably could have said no if he wanted to but he seemed to actually like spending time with you so that just made you happy.
‘AWESOME! THANK U SM!! Invite the rest of the Dekusquad if u want, I’m lonely.’
You somewhat bluntly texted and added a smiley and sadface emoji. For a moment you regretted texting that last bit, but deep down you knew Izuku understood.
And so when they did show up, you were beyond overjoyed as you grinned and giggled, “Izuku~!” You quickly flustered your friend by hugging him rather tightly, “A-Ah! H-H-Hey (Y/N)… i-it’s g-good to see you too…” He stuttered as he blushed quite madly from how you hugged him in front of his friends. Even though he was used to your hugs and he liked them, the fact that you and him weren’t children anymore, and the fact that physically you were all grown-up, made him feel rather… awkward and shy when it came to such close, physical contact.
You almost missed how Uraraka, Iida and Tsuyu were blushing as you just smiled widely to see your company. Much like with the Bakusquad, you were pretty chummy with the Dekusquad as they seemed to enjoy you and you sure enjoyed them. “Hey ya’ll~. Welcome to House (L/N).” You somewhat dramatically invited them all in.
“Hi (Y/N)! Thanks for inviting us!” Uraraka sweetly thanked you, and you smiled and bowed to the girl. She was such a sweetheart to you and Izuku and you adored her.
“Yeah, that was nice of you.” And there was Tsuyu, who just seemed to rub you the right way because you loved the girl. She was nice.
“I will never say ‘no’ to a Friends marathon~. Thank you kindly for thinking of me (Y/N)~.” Aoyama seemed to be flirting with you, at least that’s what you were getting as you smiled awkwardly but happily.
“Please forgive our intrusion (L/N)!” Before Iida could go on and on about thanking you for your hospitality you quickly waved him off, “No, no Iida there ain’t nothin’ to forgive, I’m so excited ya’ll are here. I’m ‘bout to watch a Friends Marathon~. And don’t worry, I got plenty of food for this exact thing.” You politely said to the much taller boy as you let your classmates make themselves at home and you turned on the TV.
However, you got nervous as soon as you saw Todoroki. He seemed confused, albeit partially interested in his surroundings. It was hard to pinpoint, but you considered him a friend and vice-versa because he was nice to Izuku and he found you interesting and tolerable enough to be around.
“I wasn’t sure what Midoriya meant when you said a ‘Friends’ marathon.” The heterochromatic boy admitted, and you gasped somewhat loudly. It didn’t necessarily startle Todoroki, but he was confused by your reaction. “Friends is only one of the greatest shows of all time dude! It’s about a group of friends of course, but that’s just it… you see them struggle together and get through the hard times together and it just… it’s funny, it makes you feel good, and on top of that you get the musical delights from Phoebe Buffet.” You explained it to Todoroki, and he still didn’t seem to understand, but the look in his eyes implied that he did want to know a little bit more.
“I see.” He replied neutrally, but you just smiled and led him to your couch, “Put your butt here, and just watch, you’ll see what I mean.” You advised and Todoroki did comply even though he was still confused.
But you immediately got up as soon as you heard your doorbell, and cheerfully ran over because you knew who that was.
“Hitoshi~!” You ended up hugging him as soon as you opened the door, and unlike Izuku, Shinsou appeared somewhat more annoyed. But he didn’t push you away, and instead took the time to notice Izuku and the rest of his friends.
“Shinsou! Hi there.” Izuku was clearly happy to see him, but Shinsou didn’t exactly return the feelings.
“What are they doing here?” He asked somewhat curtly. Despite being on better terms with them than he was during the Sports festival, he still didn’t entirely like them that much.
“It’s a Friends Marathon ‘Tosh, that means I gotta watch it with Friends.” You clarified with your own bizarre logic, but Shinsou just sighed in annoyance. “That doesn’t make any sense…” He muttered and shook his head.
But he made the mistake of looking at your not-so-subtle puppy dog eyes, “C’mon~… they’re not that bad~. They’re here to watch Friends too after all… anyone who watches that show has to be good right? I’ll let ya sit next to me~.” You tried to convince him to stay even if he wasn’t that into Izuku’s friend group, but he couldn’t say no to you. Well, he could, but he didn’t want to…
He liked you too much to just crush you like that.
“Fine. I have nothing better to do.” Shinsou shrugged his shoulders, his words sounded cold but they lacked the coldness to them as he did sit next to you on the couch as you happily cheered. “YAY~!!”
I’LL BE THERE FOR YOU~
You were thankful for Izuku, Shinsou and the rest of the Dekusquad for last weekend. You were sure you would have died of loneliness and boredom if they didn’t show up to watch Friends with you. It was times like this that made you feel so lucky to have such awesome friends like them, especially Izuku and Shinsou. Although, you did wish that Bakugou could have been there…
Even if he probably would have complained and insulted you the whole time. And Izuku for that matter…
However, deep down you knew that he cared. He certainly proved it plenty of times…
And you wanted to see if maybe he was in the mood for talking today. Secretly you doubted it, but it didn’t hurt to try right? At least you would get to see Izuku and Shinsou. But before you could even try to go and see Class 1-A during lunch break, the alarm suddenly made you stop in your tracks.
You could already hear some of the students becoming frazzled and shouting, many wondering if it was a repeat of the USJ incident. But instead of freaking out like they had done, Iida stood up to let everyone evacuate in an orderly fashion. Unlike last time, it wasn’t the media that had trespassed onto the campus, as Nezu’s voice alarmed the students when he made the announcement that a mysterious figure had been spotted on the campus.
With that, everyone had promptly been told to exit the school safe and sound with the pro-heroes accompanying them closely as they each went home. Whereas All-Might and Mr. Aizawa led Class 1-A back to Heights Alliance.
But instead of going home with the rest of the General Studies, you had snuck out and followed Class 1-A. You had your own plans…
“(Y/N)? What are you doing here…? You should have gone home with the others.” Shinsou was the first to notice that you had somehow gotten in here, even though he shouldn’t have been surprised. You had a knack for being sneaky.
“Easy. I snuck in. And apparently so did some weirdo… but… I have a plan.” You said, smirking almost confidently.
Shinsou looked at you like you had to have been crazy, or stupid. “The pro-heroes advised our class to stay inside the building and for the other students to go home. We can’t do anything especially since we don’t even know what this person’s quirk could be.”
You nodded, obviously you weren’t stupid, but you had a good feeling about this, “I know that.” You said and started walking to the hall where you were sure the others were at, “But! This is where my quirk will come in handy. I’m not Hagakure but if I’m out and about in the spiritual plane I can try and find this person and tell Mr. Aizawa where they’re at.” It sounded like a good plan when you said it outloud, and although Shinsou couldn’t find a lot of flaws in that plan, he wasn’t so sure how the others would take that.
He thought about it for a moment, knowing your quirk almost better than you did as he sighed, “You can’t spend too much time in the spiritual plane.” Shinsou’s tone was as stoic and low as ever, but you could hear the subtle hint of worry in there. You smiled at your friend.
“I know. But I always come back.” You said with a wink as you started waving as soon as you saw Izuku, Bakugou and Todoroki with Uraraka, Tsuyu, Aoyama, Kirishima and Iida. “You guys~!” You sounded way too cheerful despite the situation and many of them were surprised to see you here. Especially Izuku and Bakugou.
“(Y-Y/N)!”
“What the hell are you doing here idiot?!”
Of course you expected to hear that from Izuku and Bakugou respectively. “Um I don’t know, saving the day, coming to help?”
“(L/N)! You should not be here! You should have gone home with the others in your class! Though… I suppose you can’t leave now. It wouldn’t be wise to leave now with a suspect on the loose…” Iida didn’t even listen to you, he just scolded you for going against what the pro-heroes told you to do.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah… I know I should have gone home, but I was just tellin’ Toshi here that I think I can find this villain for the teachers. After all… my quirk means that I can basically just wander about freely in the other planes.” You stated with a smile, and you managed to convince Uraraka and Kirishima.
“Oh! I get it! Because they can’t see you when you leave your body! Like a ghost! A villain can’t see a ghost.” Kirishima understood your plan, and so far was the only one who had even a bit of hope in you. “That’s right! Souls are like spirits… they shouldn’t be able to see you! And you can check every area in the school.” Uraraka also got the gist of your plan. So far that was two people that thought you could really help.
Now it was time for the skeptics. “(L/N)’s quirk could be useful. But we don’t know what this potential villain’s quirk is. If their quirk somehow counters yours, you could be in danger.” Todoroki saw the flaw in your plan, but he wasn’t saying to be rude, just realistic, and you understood that.
“H-He’s right. I think you should just stay here with us. You’ll be safe (Y/N).” Izuku agreed with Todoroki, but he was more worried than anything. It wasn’t that he wasn’t confident in you, he just didn’t want you to take such a big risk.
“And you can’t just take action! That’s the teacher’s job! It’s wise to just let them do their jobs and not get involved. They specifically told the students to stay out of the situation.” Iida was thinking mainly about your safety, but you didn’t really listen to him.
“It’s not taking action, it’s offering help. If we sit here and do nothing, how can we call ourselves heroes? How can I call myself a hero? I might not be in the Hero Course, but I came to this school to try and become a hero. I have to try…” You explained to your friends, and as much as they were worried about you, that little speech of yours had them speechless for a moment.
Bakugou wouldn’t admit it, but for once he agreed with Deku and Iida. Albeit, mostly with telling you to just stay put, he wanted to go after that damn villain himself, but at this point he knew better than to just rush in blindly. And ironically, he was about to scold you for attempting to do just that, “It’s not like your quirk will actually help. It’s useless… even if you just find the bastard, then what?” But he just had to shoot you down. But it was only because he wouldn’t ever let you know that your descending scared him though and so he never sugar-coated anything to you, nor did he act all nice to you and shit, because he wouldn’t let anyone see that he was soft on you. Not even you.
“Well that’s the point now isn’t it? I can’t be the most useless one in UA all the time.” You shrugged your shoulders, pretending to pop the joints in your fingers, but your joke didn’t amuse Bakugou in the slightest.
“Tch. Don’t even try it stupid. It’s a fucking suicide mission. You can’t even fight back to save yourself.” He muttered, not seeming entirely worried since he knew you always came back. But he really hated your quirk, even if you always returned from those spirit worlds or whatever. It was kind of unsettling.
You rolled your eyes and nodded, “I won’t HAVE to fight back and I SO could fight back if I had to… and when I come back you’ll see that I’m not as useless or pathetic as I seem Katsuki.” Not wanting to lose what little pride you had, you pointed at him with a determined tone before you lied down on the floor and he just stared down at you as you did so. As he always did…
“And when I come back under 5 minutes, yooooou… have to take me to see Endgame~. I already got you a ticket~.” You sang-songed and showed off the tickets you brought in advance, waving them up in his face, much to Bakugou’s immense annoyance. “Forget it Shitty Girl!”
“Too late, bet’s made~.” You sang again with a giggle as Bakugou glared and growled at you angrily, but you thought it was hilarious.
“Wait! (Y/N)… are you sure about this?” Izuku no longer attempted to argue with you, but he had to ask, because he was much more openly afraid whenever you left the physical plane. He knew the consequences of your quirk, and he was worried about the villain possibly seeing you. Even though he knew that you might as well have been a ghost when you crossed into the spiritual plane and no one could see you. He was still worried…
The rest of his class had experience with villains, and you didn’t.
“I’m positive Izuku. I’m coming back. I always do. I can’t always be yours and Katsuki’s standing-on-the-sidelines friend. My quirk is just as useful as you guys’ and I’m going to prove it. I’ll find the person and tell Mr. Aizawa where they’re at. They won’t find me either, I’m feeling pretty confident about that!” You claimed with a rather enthusiastic tone, but you only convinced Uraraka, Tsuyu, Iida, Kirishima and Aoyama.
“W-Well…” Izuku wanted to try and argue, but Bakugou quickly shut him up, “Don’t coddle her all the damn time Deku. It’s probably why she’s so weak.” He said snidely to his childhood friends, much to Izuku’s displeasure and you could only roll your eyes.
“Dude come on… why you gotta be so mean?” Kirishima actually kind of scolded his friend, which just earned him Bakugou’s trademark glare. But Kirishima liked you, he thought you were cool and as much as he liked the guy, he certainly did not like the way he treated you often.
“I am NOT weak! I’m coming back and I’m finding that son of a bitch. I can’t wait to see the look on your face when I come back. So suck my dick~.” You smirked a bit just to see that annoyed scowl on his face one last time before you set the timer on your phone for 15 minutes.
“Please be careful (Y/N)…” Izuku said to you as he nervously glanced at you on the floor.
You smiled sweetly up at him, happy that at least one of your childhood friends was showing concern. “I will Izuku. I’ll be back by the time you know it. In the meantime… take care of my body.” You said rather confidently as your friends (sans Bakugou) smiled at you and wished you luck as you closed your eyes.
To recite the spell, you placed your arms outward and began to chant the incantation from your mother.
“Spiritu duce, in me est. Deduce me in tenebris vita ad extremum, ut salutaret inferi… Descensum!”
With a zooming rush, you felt yourself descending into an abyss of dreadful familiarity that felt a little darker and hollower than before. And as soon as you opened your eyes, you found yourself in the spiritual plane. Everything looked the same, you could see Katsuki, Izuku, Uraraka, Tsuyu, Todoroki, Kirishima, Aoyama and Iida each looking down at your now soulless body in concern and anticipation.
But this was good, now that you were in the spiritual plane you could just float about and focus on the suspect that had been spotted around the campus. You got up to leave Heights Alliance but made sure to search around the building in case the suspect was around the area, but you found nothing.
So you flew through the air, looking in every direction as you scanned the Ground Beta, the Gymnasium and the entire campus closely. In mid-air you saw nothing, nobody except maybe the teachers who were also searching for the culprit. They couldn’t see anyone either, nor did they have any luck in finding anyone suspicious.
It was quite strange. Because you weren’t seeing anyone hiding, unless they had a quirk like Hagakure’s, but you didn’t count on that given that Principal Nezu said that this suspect had been spotted.
For a moment you wondered if it was just a prank from some other rival school trying to scare the students. You didn’t want to give up just yet, but you couldn’t be in this plane too long.
Now all that was left was to get back to your body. You flew as fast as you could back to the familiar building, smiling as soon as you approached the door and got on your feet to run back to where your body and friends were at.
However, as soon as you reached the hallway you didn’t see your body, or your friends anywhere. Did they leave and take you to another room? You wondered…
The atmosphere looked darker, and an uncomfortable shiver ran down your spine as you looked around and got a feeling of the air around you. It made you feel almost sick when darkness started creeping around the corners. A gasp escaped you as your eyes widened in horror. This wasn’t Heights Alliance, it was some upside-down, dark version of it. As soon as you took the first step inside, everything felt wrong. You could feel it in the stale air as you slowly walked. Something in your mind told you to just escape because this was a trap, but you weren’t sure if you would even be able to do that…
And you paused as soon as your shoe hit what felt like a puddle…
Looking down you saw your reflection in a crimson pool, your eyebrows shooting up in horror as you gasped quietly and felt your heartbeat speeding up as you reluctantly looked forward. There were bodies all over the floor.
Jirou. Mina. Yaoyorozu. Sero. Kaminari. Tokoyami. Shoji. Hagakure. All of them…
“O-Oh my God… Oh my God…!! Mina! Momo! Denki?! H-Hanta?! Guys?! Please… oh please tell me you guys are still alive…” You got down to try and move the body that belonged to ‘Yaoyorozu’, trying in vain to wake her up but the body was limp and cold to the touch. “Momo wake up! Momo wake up…” Your voice broke as you tried to shake her awake, but you saw blood on the corner of her mouth and a deep gash staining her stomach…
Your eyes widened in horror as you looked closer and reluctantly at the rest of your friends. They all had similar wounds to the stomach, the back of their heads, and there were some broken bones…
What happened to them while you were gone? Was it the villain? Where were they now...?
“I told you you couldn’t help… Shitty Girl…” You gasped loudly and turned sharply to see Bakugou, battered and beaten with streams of blood gushing from his mouth, nose and the top of his head, tresses of his blonde hair caked in scarlet.
“Katsuki…” It wasn't just him, you also saw them.
Izuku, Shinsou, Uraraka, Tsuyu, Todoroki, Kirishima, Iida and Aoyama...
All of them, fallen and beaten bloody as they lied in puddles of their blood. Some barely moving and only half-alive as Shinsou slowly peered up at you, wanting to speak but no sound came from his lips.
"(Y-Y/N)... you have to go..." You heard Izuku croak where he lied, and you shook your head in horror. "I-I'm not leaving ya'll..." You refused to leave, but you were beyond confused and scared as hell. This felt so real and yet so artificial that it was shaking your very core and terrifying you as you held your arms, hyperventilating as you failed to calm yourself down as the image of your bloodied friends was becoming too much for you to handle.
Unbeknownst to you, 10 minutes had passed and Bakugou audibly growled as he began pacing back and forth irritably while the rest of his classmates just kept watching you with worry in their eyes. They've seen your quirk work before, and you almost always came back in 5 minutes or less, sometimes you took 7 minutes, but this was so far the longest you have taken and it was starting to concern them. Izuku, Uraraka and Iida looked the most worried as Izuku ran his shaking fingers through his hair while Aoyama and Uraraka tried to comfort him by placing her hand on his shoulder.
“Calm down Midoriya… I am confident in (L/N)’s abilities. She’s a clever girl.” Iida tried to reassure his friend, even though it was clear that he was becoming increasingly concerned too.
“I’ve always seen her come back.” Shinsou, while not as close to Izuku as the others, tried to calm him down since he’s always seen you come back and was always there every time you did return to the physical plane. Even during close calls Shinsou was there every time to see you come back with at least 5 minutes on the clock. But once it was down to 4 minutes…
Now he was starting to worry.
Even the less than emotive Todoroki and Tsuyu were beginning to look worried when your phone went down to 4 minutes.
“She has 4 minutes left…” Todoroki muttered quietly, his eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly. Would you really die if you didn’t come back by then?
While Izuku’s friends barely contained their anxiety, Kirishima concealed his growing concern by trying to calm down Bakugou even though he was on the verge of freaking out himself. “Relax now man…”
“How the hell can I fucking relax?! What the hell’s taking her so long?! She always comes back by 5 minutes! 5 MINUTES!”
“She probably found the suspect." Tsuyu deducted, keeping her cool even though she was getting more worried with each passing second, "If she's taking this long it means that she definitely found something and is probably trying to figure something out wherever she's at." She tried to think of why you might have been taking so long, but neglected to say the very real possibility that either you found something, or something found you. Because she's learned from her consequences of speaking her mind too much, and stating that possibility would just make everyone, including herself, freak out if it were said out loud.
But even if Tsuyu didn't say it, Bakugou wasn't comforted or reassured because Tsuyu had to have been right. You definitely found something because you never took this long. Never...
“Oh my God… no stop it… whoever’s doin’ this just stop it…” You didn’t believe that this was your Katsuki. He might have looked and sounded just like him, but you refused to believe that this was your Katsuki. And part of you wanted to hope that these people weren't you classmates either, they were just illusions...
But why did they look so real?
"You did this yourself you fucking idiot... I told you to just stay put... it's your own fucking fault..." 'Katsuki' said to you coldly, with a hateful glare in his drooping eyes as he suddenly choked when a sharp, squelching slash pierced right through his stomach and you gasped with wide eyes full of terror as you felt the red drops splatter on your cheeks. Your eyes quivered as you watched the dagger rip your beloved upwards and made the rest of his blood spill to the ground as he coughed and slowly collapsed to the ground as you suddenly gasped and let out a horrified wail.
“NOOOOOOOOO!!”
It was taking too long.
You were taking too long and the clock was ticking, which did nothing to ease the nerves of your classmates as Izuku started to pant from anxiety. You always came back by this time…
“(Y-Y/N)’s taking a long time… she never takes this long…” He shakily said to his friends, who were no longer hiding their worry but still trying to remain calm.
“She’ll come back! She always does! Just shut up Deku!” Bakugou instantly shouted at his childhood friend, not wanting to hear that you WERE taking a long time because all that did was make the tightening anxiety in his chest crush him from the inside.
“NOOOOOOOOO!!”
You continued to scream as the rest of your friends were slowly butchered right before your eyes by a dark figure you couldn't make out. All you could focus on was your friends being sliced up and slowly murdered right before your eyes and you couldn't do a thing to help. Even though every semblance of your being was screaming at you to move, something kept you rooted to the spot. Something that wasn't a part of you, it was some kind of force that you couldn't make out, and it forced you to stay where you were at as your friends kept screaming for you.
Again and again, you heard Izuku scream for you, and Katsuki shout when the blade stabbed him again.
"(Y/N)!"
"I told you you couldn't help..."
"O-Oh God..."
SLASH
“NOOOOOOOOO!!”
"Y-You have to go..."
"O-Oh God no... no please stop..."
"You did this yourself you fucking idiot..."
SLASH
"NOOOOOOOOO!!"
"It's your own fucking fault..."
"No stop it, whoever's doin' this just stop it please..."
SLASH
"NOOOOOOOOO!!"
Every single time you saw them die and every time you heard Katsuki's words, you would wail and scream even louder as tears freely flowed down your face. Choking on a sob you sunk to your knees, nearly vomiting as soon as you looked at your dear friends’ bodies yet again.
Your precious Katsuki, Izuku and Shinsou…
And again.
And again.
And again…
“NOOOOOOOOOO!!”
It never ended. Even the least of the worst filled you with a despair that just made you want to just cease from existence if it meant being free of this suffering. As you feel down to your knees oncemore, you slowly peered up to see him…
Shinigami.
He stood there, watching you with his piercing, taunting gold eyes. His grin peering into your damned soul as he cackled wickedly at your torment as he forced you to stand back up as you blinked for a little bit.
The epiphany hit you as soon as you let out another scream when warm, scarlet droplets that belonged to no one other that your Katsuki, splattered on your face yet again as your tears continued to fall and mix with the redness.
“NOOOOOOOOOO!!”
And This was your hell. And it was your prison that you realized you were going to relive on a constant loop.
Over and over again.
“HEY! Come back already you fucking idiot! I know you can hear me! Stop wasting your damn time you little shit!” Bakugou had come down to his knees and started to aggressively shake your shoulders in an attempt to wake you up. Hating how limp and flaccid your body felt as he glowered at you. You looked so lifeless, as if you were dead and although he didn’t and wouldn’t say it, it was so terrifying to him. You might as well have been dead everytime you used you descended into another plane.
It’s been way too long. He stared anxiously at your phone, and there was only 2 minutes left for you to come back to your body. “She’s stuck. She’s fucking stuck…” He came to that conclusion and he didn’t have to look at his classmates to see them all panicking.
“We have to help her.” Izuku quickly suggested, but he knew that there was very little time left and he honestly didn’t know how they could help you. He was so scared that he could hear his heart beat in his chest, and he was sure his classmates all felt the same fear as they looked at you with alarmed, worried glances.
“We should get Mr. Aizawa! His quirk should cancel hers out and force her to go back to her body… right…?” Kirishima thought outloud, it was wishful thinking at best, but he didn’t want to imagine worst-case scenario. And if the others were being honest, they were hoping for that…
Shinsou didn’t want to show his fear, and he wouldn’t despite his trembling hands, “Mr. Aizawa’s quirk won’t work… she has to come back on her own…” He said, albeit reluctantly as he stared at your body, secretly begging any deity that existed to help you come back…
You had to come back…
But there was only one minute left, and your body showed no signs of life or movement whatsoever.
“Follow my voice… dammit follow my voice you idiot…” Bakugou carefully picked your body up into his arms and held you close to his chest as he whispered to you, “I know you can hear me… hurry the fuck up and just follow my voice… you’re scaring the shit out of everybody…” There was no anger in his tone, only worry as he put his arms around you. He remembered the way you used to hug him every time you saw him when you were both kids.
But as the two of you got older, you stopped hugging him because you knew that he would always push you away and he scared you with his harsh attitude until you stopped. And right now, Bakugou started asking himself why? Why did he push you away?
He loved the way you hugged him. How warm you felt against his body, and now he didn’t feel anything from your body at all.
“We’re all waiting for you…” Izuku’s voice broke as tears streamed down his face that he quickly wiped away. He would not cry, he couldn’t; he knew you would come back, you had to. You just had to…
“(Y/N)…” Shinsou knew it was pointless to say your name because you couldn’t hear anyone, but he couldn’t stop the terror settling in his skin as he shook when he saw only 20 seconds left. The rest of his classmates widening their eyes and beginning to sweat as they focused on Bakugou clinging to your limp body as he shut his eyes and quietly hyperventilated.
“Come back already… Come back…! (Y/N) Come back!!” He shouted desperately as he held onto your body, cradling and rocking you. His hold tightening into a hug you couldn’t feel as warm droplets hit your cold skin.
“TIME’S UP! TIME’S UP! TIME’S UP!”
As your cheerfully voiced timer ran out, Bakugou’s hold on you suddenly loosened as he gasped sharply when he suddenly felt nothing but a shroud of dust suddenly powder his arms and fingers as he watched your body disintegrate into nothing…
He didn’t hear his classmates all shout when your body just… disintegrated. Leaving nothing but a pile of ash that dissipated quickly as they all looked wide-eyed with horror. The room was dead silent for a while, but that silence was immediately replaced with gasps that quickly turned into cries…
“(Y/N)!!!” 
Izuku fell to his knees as he wailed your name. He stared at the dust, a mix of horror, disbelief and confusion crossing his features as he let the realization sink in that his dear friend was gone and began to sob loudly and shamelessly. It was all too much for the rest of his friends as Uraraka followed shortly as she let her own tears fall, “Oh (Y/N)… (Y/N)!” Uraraka held onto Izuku to try and comfort him even though she was crying for you too.
Aoyama was horrified, and almost in disbelief. That didn’t really happen did it? He didn’t want to believe it, but the more he heard Midoriya and Uraraka cry, the more it became apparent that you did die. For once he had nothing to say as he held back a sob and hugged Izuku along with Uraraka as his tears fell and quietly cried with them.
“M-Midoriya… Uraraka… A-Aoyama, d-don’t… d-don’t cry…” Iida tried to remain firm and look strong for his distraught classmates, but the more he looked at the ashes that used to be you, the more tears fell from his glossy eyes as he choked on a sob, able to do nothing other than lower to the ground to hug his three friends after the loss of their friend.
Todoroki couldn’t believe what he saw. Did you really just die?
He saw Midoriya, Uraraka, Aoyama and Iida crying and holding each other, and then he saw Kirishima staring in horror and despair as he looked at the remains of your body.
“(Y/N)!!” He didn’t want to cry, but the feeling was way too much for him to hold in as he openly sobbed, and Tsuyu attempted to console him even though she couldn’t stop her own tears from falling. In his grief, the two shared a hug as they both cried for you.
Seeing everyone cry, only reminded Todoroki of his own past pains. He has had his loved ones taken from him before, but they never truly left him. And only then did the weight of your apparent death hit him as he stared at the dust with a gentle, but saddened look as a silent tear fell to the ground.
You were his friend…
“She was... my friend…” Shinsou thought to himself as he distanced himself from the group, covering his mouth with his hand as he held back the burning tears in his eyes but they betrayed him and ebbed down his face as he let out a strained sob.
Bakugou was silent and in a near catatonic state as he stared at the dust, his vision nearly blurring when he looked in horror when he saw some of the powder on his hands. The powder that used to be you…
And his breathing turned shallow, rapid and quiet when he remembered everything he had told you before this.
He called you weak…
A distraction.
Useless.
And then he saw the tickets that were left behind among the ashes. You said you would come back, and yet you broke that promise by not coming back at all and left him with nothing. Nothing but tickets to a movie you said he would have to take you to the next week, but he wasn't going to anymore. He wouldn't take you anywhere anymore.
When the reality settled in, he felt his whole being tremble as his breath stuttered when he tried breathing, letting out a choked sob as his tears cascaded down his face as he crumbled where he sat. There was nothing that could steal this unbearable pain in his chest as all Bakugou could do was sob and let the tears rain and trickle to the ashes that were once you. Every breath felt like he was suffocating as he couldn't fight the guilt that was at war with his fragile pride in his mind as he cried for you.
All he wanted was for you to hug him again, so he could tell you that he was sorry for all the shitty things he said to you and how he had treated you and take you to see that movie and any damn episode of Friends you wanted. But there was nothing there of you anymore, and he couldn't even hold you anymore.
PART 2: https://ice-cream-kitsunegirl.tumblr.com/post/184430454599/young-love-and-an-episode-of-friends-bakugou
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atamascolily · 4 years ago
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Lily liveblogs: “The Rise of Skywalker,” part two
Neener, neener, world-building is for losers. Not to mention plot, character development, and general coherence.
(Or, fifty ideas in a trench coat pretending to be one movie.)
Look, you get ONE fetch quest per film, and we've already exceeded the limit here, please stop... [does not stop]
Poe literally has to ask to kiss Zorii because she's wearing a mask, lol. I mean, I like to think he would anyway, but... just saying.
They literally slot the medallion into the designated coin slot and that's it, it's over so fast, lololololol.
Like, the FO lets them in because they have a medallion and then only sends two troopers to investigate because Something Is Clearly Up? LOLOLOLOLOLOL.
Okay, they're just going to straight up assault the Star Destroyer. 10/10 for style. Refuge in audacity and all that. Fine, whatever.
Finn ought to have some idea about the layout of the place, didn't the FO teach him that stuff when he was a stormtrooper? Or at least enough to have a hint. Or are they just going to wander around without a clue and magically find the right spot??
Oh, Rey's mastered the mind-trick now, good to know. (*Legally Blonde voice* "What, like it's hard?")
Poe's question if Rey does that to him and Finn is 100% spot on and he is RIGHT to ask that because the mind trick is SUPER INVASIVE and can be badly misused.Given how recalcitrant Poe’s been, I’m sure she’s been tempted.
Rey is so concerned about Chewie until she gets distracted by the dagger, sigh... [Han Solo voice] Convenient. [/Han Solo voice.]
Why do they need the dagger macguffin if they already have the coordinates? What a stupid thing to get Rey alone so she and Kylo can have a moment.
Kylo searching through Kijimi for Rey like he's got no fucking clue, lololol. So much for their "Force bond" here.
Does Finn feel, like, anything for the troopers he's shooting? I mean, obviously not in the heat of battle, but like, ever? Considering that his friend's death on Jakku was what snapped him out of the FO brainwashing in the first place... so he knows it's possible for the others to change. So... what a wasted opportunity here.
Literally, all of the troopers are patrolling either in pairs or alone, that is so dumb if there's actually an alert out on the ship for them.
Is Poe having PTSD flashbacks to the last time he got captured by the FO? Because I would, if I were in his shoes.
Rey picks up the dagger and has flashbacks again PSYCHOMETRY PSYCHOMETRY PSYCHOMETRY PSYCHOMETRY
Okay, the FUCK is going on with this fight scene. Where is she, really? Is she Force projecting? How can she do that when it killed Luke? How can BOTH of them be in two places at once? Ie, it's not that Rey is suddenly having an out-of-body experience and fighting Kylo on a spiritual plane in Kijimi - she's also fighting in Kylo's room, and even though I could see her body moving in time with her mind, is Kylo projecting himself into his room with HER, too? What is happening?
I feel like this scene would be so much more powerful if we established some parameters for HOW THIS POWER FUCKING WORKS so I know what the stakes are. Wouldn't it be interesting if this moved used life force, for instance, the same way that healing did? What are the restrictions/limitations? Why is none of this ever explained? It just happens... waaaaaahhhhhhh
I really love it when this is an open question in works that are thematically ABOUT "is it a dream? is it real? is it a mindfuck?" [see: Inception] but that's NOT THE POINT OF THIS FILM, this is a side issue, so it SHOULDN'T BE A MYSTERY, it should be actually intelligible to me what is going on even if I don't understand all the intricacies.
It does look cool, though. I'll grant them that much. The aesthetics of a night fight in the falling stone are ON POINT. Too bad the fight doesn't really use much of its scenery to any advantage. This could be literally anywhere for all that the characters draw on their surroundings.
"Wherever you are, you are hard to find." So smooth, Kylo.
Rey VERY CLEARLY SAYS "I don't want this!" in response to Kylo's "I've been in your head". Because consent is for LOSERs, am I right? [/sarcasm] ugghhhhhhh
"Your parents are no one...." but turns out they were actually someone! Never mind we never get their names or backstory anywhere! That might make them... interesting! Or even RELEVANT.
Okay, so stuff from Kijimi is literally spilling into the star destroyer and vice versa, is that actually happening or is that just a visual metaphor/dream sequence, I really need to know wtf is going on here.
Kylo using his knowledge of/from Palpatine to manipulate Rey is terrible but actually something he would do... and kinda clever. I'll grant him that much.
Ochi looks just like a twisted version of Maz, except taller... does that mean anything? probably not!
We literally have no connection to these two random new characters so their fate does not resonate as much as it SHOULD HAVE. Which one was Palpatine's kid? How did he HAVE kids in the first place? What was said kid's life like? Why did they grow up to run away and defy their dad? How did they meet the other partner? How did all this, you know, HAPPEN??
And why did Palpatine send an agent to kill them instead of killing/tortuing them himself, since they clearly had info he was interested in? THE FUCK.
I was hoping the Vader mask would finally be destroyed, but NOOOOOOOOOOO.
Lol how Kylo's like "I'm gonna only tell you the rest of the story in person" as if they weren't already fighting face to face in some weird dream-reality hybrid thingy. Kylo, you are so desperate and so so so so dumb.
LOL, Hux being all dramatic here. "I'm the spy!"
This just gets funnier when you remember how Poe trolled the SHIT out of him at the beginning of TLJ, so Poe has NO CLUE (because the writers didn't either until just now, natch), AND why Poe's reaction when Hux says he's gonna "do it himself" (ie, murder Poe) is so on point.
I approve of Rey looting Kylo's room before running off. Too bad she doesn't smash the Vader mask and be done with it. At least Chewie gets his crossbow back.
"I don't care if you win. I need Kylo Ren to lose." 10/10, excellent character motivation, and I approve. Hux is such a bastard and Kylo totally deserves this betrayal. (also: the Imperial philosophy in a nutshell.)
I'm not averse per se to Rey Palpatine, but this way of handling it is total bullshit and an asspull, sigh.
Oh, no, here comes the Force dyad nonsense. "We have no choice but to be together because we're SOULMATES! I'm stalking you because I LOVE YOU and it's DESTINY, Rey!" </sarcasm>
Oh, the destroyer is still in the atmosphere over Kijimi and not in space, I see. getting bespin feels here. This should have happened in the second movie not halfway through the third.
Yup, there's the "join me and rule the galaxy" offer right on cue.
Taking off your mask does not help here, Kylo. No one cares about your puppy dog eyes, you fucking stalker.
yeah, she would have jumped if the Falcon hadn't shown up right at the last minute, lol.
[Honestly, I would have had her jump and land smack on the back of the Falcon, but that may just be my twisted sense of humor talking.]
love kylo's dismay as she gets away. EXCELLENT LEAP. And Finn is wearing an oxygen mask, which is a detail which I <3!
Hux just dies with no drama, which is too bad, but also soooo typical of Imperial/FO management style. Live by the sword, die by the sword. Good thing your pettiness lives on!
(Pryde is clearly the Real Villain now that Hux is Actually Good, I see what you did there.)
I hate how Rey literally shuts Finn out here, when he is TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING AND REMIND HER SHE'S A GOOD PERSON and Rey is so confused by Kylo's constant gaslighting that she ignores him. Like, psychologically understandable (and sad) but I fucking hate it. Finn deserves so much better than this.
Palpatine talks in Kylo's head... how? why? Why does Palps have this kind of connection with Kylo when he had to make hologram calls to Vader the old-fashioned way? (I know they established at the beginning of the film that they had this relationship, but it's still odd and inexplicable. Like the whole thing that was supposed to make Mara Jade special was that she could hear his voice anywhere in the galaxy... and Kylo's just... got that... for no reason? Because Palps targeted him since he was a kid???
(Keep in mind Kylo was concieved RIGHT AFTER ENDOR, so I dunno what Palps was up to or how long it would take him to get a body or LITERALLY ANY WAY IN WHICH THIS WOULD MAKE LOGISTICAL SENSE.)
It's a moon of Endor, but a DIFFERENT moon of Endor, fine, okay, and we're going to ignore the whole "How did the Death Star ruins get here, anyway?" because that's a world-building problem of an entirely different order of magnitude and just roll with it.
I do believe Rey is mentally running the numbers on Death Star scrap/value of kyber crystals on the open market here, because old habits die hard. And that is such a gorgeous shot, with the cliffs and the churning sea and the ruins.
Oh, I see, the wayfinder was on the moon because it was in the Death Star with Palps and somehow... didn't explode or get sucked out into the vacuum of space. That's a leap, but okay, whatever, fine.
using a macguffin to find another macguffin, wow.
I don't literally don't understand how this dagger is supposed to work as a compass, but fine, whatever. now we will never see it again.
Jannah looks great, I love her character design, but unfortunately, this movie is going to spend very little time exploring the world she lives in because we have to rush onto the next thing, sigh. And apparently, they know about the Resistance! Okay. And they know Babu Frik... or Babu Frik knows them enough to call in some favors...? WHAT.
So it's too dangerous to travel on the water because the waves are so big... which means some killer tides! That is actually interesting, but Rey just overrides everyone and goes anyway (alone!!) so I don't even know why this comes up as an obstacle if it is instantly resolved. This film keeps doing that, and it is not as cute as the director thinks it is.
Finn and Jannah bond over being ex-FO, and this film should spend wayyyy more time on this than it does. THEY BOTH HAD "FEELINGS" ABOUT WHAT WAS RIGHT AND THEY OVERCAME THEIR BRAINWASHING -- Finn is talking about the feeling and calling it "the Force," this is great, AND MY HEART IS DISSOLVING IN A MILLION FEELS AND I JUST... WANT THIS TO FREAKIN' MATTER... why is Finn so sure the Force is real? Faith? Or because he's actually a Jedi, too? (You already know which one I believe here. MAKE HIM A JEDI YOU COWARDS.)
Rey just fucks off and steals Jannah's boat? Where... was it? How did she find it? What... how does that even make sense??
too bad they don't have a working ship, they could just FLY over the ocean instead of surmounting the waves for extra unnecessary drama, lol.
Please keep in mind that Rey grew up in a fucking desert. That she cannot (despite what TLJ might have told you) swim. Yet she is on a boat in an ocean alone. This is a terrible idea. (I'm not going to say it's OOC, because Rey would, in fact, totally do this--just emphasizing how bad an idea this is.)
Finn says, "You have no idea what she's fighting" to Poe... who does know, actually. Kylo tortured him at the beginning of TFA, just like he tried to do later in that film to Rey. Surely Finn should... know this?
If Finn and Poe are going to fight here, fine, this is just a stupid argument. Finn says he and Leia know what Rey is up against and Poe says, I'm not Leia, YES WE NOTICED POE.
Whyyyy is Poe the Team Skeptic here and such a grouch?? not cool.
"That's for damn sure." OH SNAP. And also, actual profanity in Star Wars? Whoa!
Of course Finn is going to go after her.
I will say this: the Death Star ruins look hella cool. also, a nice callback to the beginning of TFA where Rey is exploring the Star Destroyer ruins.
my goodness, the upper arm strength required. I love this scene. they should have made Palpatine's ghost haunting the ruins so we could have the final boss fight here - that would make so much more since than him fucking off to Exegol of all places.
(the ruins are totally my aesthetic, tho.)
And the Sith wayfinder.. is just floating in midair. In the ruins of the Death Star that shouldn't exist. In some sort of chamber with no security whatsoever. wowwwwww. Oh, okay, it's in some sort of suspended chamber thingy, but still.... security measures??
Hey, Rey touches it, and experiences a creepy vision--PSYCHOMETRY, ANYONE? A security measure? Oh, no, just a crazy Force vision... maybe? I don't know anymore. I don't know why.
The double-bladed quarterstaff lightsaber is super cool, though.
Rey fighting her evil self in the crumbling tech ruins is TOTALLY MY AESTHETIC YESSSSSSSSS.
since Rey gets a vision when she touches the wayfinder and is released when she lets go of it, I honestly wonder what the other wayfinder said to Kylo, if he experienced anything when he touched it.
speaking of which, there's kylo! ughhhhh.
Like, literally Rey could have stolen the Sith wayfinder from Kylo if he had left it in his room, and she blew up at least one of his TIE fighters that had it so... I don't even know if Kylo has one anymore. Maybe he doesn't need it? WHATEVER.
Rey is not amused. GIVE ME MY MACGUFFIN!
This is, for the record, the THIRD FIGHT between Kylo and Rey in this film, please just kill him already.
Kylo trying to gaslight Rey about not being a Jedi and how she's proven she's not and she'll disappoint Leia. HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK LEIA FEELS ABOUT YOU, KYLO??? PROJECTING MUCH???
"Like I can't [go back to Leia]." Ooooohhhhhhh, forced teaming there, way to make your move by claiming to show vulnerability. YOU CHOSE THIS. YOU CHOSE THAT PATH. SHE SENT HAN TO BRING YOU HOME AND YOU MURDERED HIM BECAUSE SNOKE TOLD YOU TO SO YOU COULD LEVEL UP IN HIS STUPID DEATH CULT AND SNOKE TURNED OUT TO BE A PUPPET SO IT WAS ALL FOR NAUGHT, YOU ASSHOLE, and NOW YOU'RE TRYING GASLIGHT REY BY PROJECTING YOUR FAILURES ONTO HER.
And he shatters the macguffin rather than let her have it because he's that much of an asshole.
He doesn't pull out his lightsaber until several seconds in, just moves around because he genuinely doesn't want to hurt her even though he just provoked her into losing her temper to prove a point.
It's raining back on Jungle Planet for ATMOSPHERE and Leia is having a Force Vision of DOOOOOOOM, this was oh so clearly supposed to be for Han's death in TFA, but noooooooooooo we're using it here.
(Also, how is it not raining on the tech, I think there are roofs, but it's so hard to tell.)
Maz is so dramatic about this. "Leia knows what must be done, Artoo." Yes, Kylo is going down.
The aesthetics of the ocean ruins fight scene are 100% my jam, not gonna lie, it looks very cool.
So, once again, the Supreme Leader went off on his own... without backup... not even his own private biker gang.... AGAIN. I just.... can't even... what an idiot. What an absolute idiot.
Good thing Finn and Jannah are here, though I doubt the narrative will actually let them do much. I wish Finn and/or Jannah would just shoot Kylo here once Rey gives them an opening, but no, they're just going to stand there helpless.  
I get why Rey pushes them away so Kylo won't use them against her as hostages, but STILL. THERE ARE THREE OF YOU AND ONE OF HIM. USE THAT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE, REY.
drenched unhappy Kylo Ren is excellent, yesssss.
This is the first time I've seen anyone use the Force to halt the blade of a lightsaber... interesting.
Rey is treating her lightsaber like it's one-half of a quarterstaff, I LOVE it, but it also begs the question why didn't she just make a double-bladed saber (with, say, a split kyber crystal from TLJ?) in the first place instead of using a weapon that clearly doesn't work for her as well????
Leia could have reached out to her son at any moment, but she chose not to because she needed to save her strength... but Palps can talk to Kylo across the galaxy and he's fine?? And Kylo and Rey can be in two different places and be just fine (yeah okay, Force dyad soulmates whatever whatever)??? THIS MAKES NO SENSE.
Rey stabbing Kylo with his own damn blade is POETIC CINEMA and also justice. FINALLY.
I think if there were any questions about whether Rey has killed someone, the answer in this scene is no. I can't tell if she's crying for Leia, for shock, for relief, for grief and regret over murdering Kylo, or what.
WHY DOES SHE USE HER LIFE FORCE TO HEAL HIM? WHY? WHY? WHY??????????? (give me a motivation, I dont know what her motivation is here, I dont know why she makes this sacrifice to HIM of all people and I feel like I really should know for this scene to have emotional impact but it doesn't).
LEIA SACRIFICED HERSELF FOR YOU, REY, AND YOU'RE JUST GOING THROW IT AWAY LIKE THIS???
Now, if this movie were actually serious about Kylo and Rey being a Force dyad or two halves of the same whole, then we, the audience, would realize along with Rey that she can't let Kylo die without hurting herself... which I'm not sure I would enjoy, but would at least be COHERENT and fit into the ESTABLISHED WORLDBUILDING even if said worldbuilding is dumb and personally offensive to me. I'M JUST SAYING THERE ARE OPTIONS HERE, YOU TOTALLY HAD OPTIONS THAT WOULD HAVE MADE NARRATIVE SENSE SO I DIDN’T HAVE TO DO IT FOR YOU ON THE SPOT. 
"I did want to take your hand. Ben's hand." We know that. That was the whole ending of TLJ. Why is this such a shock now??? She already said that at the end of the last movie, so what have we accomplished since? Absolutely nothing has changed on that front, Kylo!!
Also, Kylo--she saved your life when she didn't have to, and you can't even say Thank you? YOU UNGRATEFUL ASSHOLE.
{there's one hour left in this movie WHATTTTTTTTTTTTT how is that even possible}
lol, she just straight up steals his ship.... which is just perched on top of the ruins nearby and hasn't been damaged at all by spray... and which should ALSO have the wayfinder macguffin in it.... so she's going to Exegol, right? The thing she's been wanting to do for the whole movie? The thing that they only have what, four hours left before the attack or whatever?
NOPE. She goes to Ahch-To. Because of course she does.
I hate this fucking movie so much.
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