#because this is important

[nightmarevore]

I Get a Craving and I Wake Up For You

7/?

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AO3 Link

Luke and Rowan finally talk.

Contains: mentions of abuse, implied physical abuse, blood, gore, facial injury, vore, same size vore, depictions of a breakdown, male pred, male prey, and vore with plot.

Luke takes a deep breath. He’d finally managed to get back to normal size.

“You’re going back?” Oliver asked, hiding the worry from his voice. 

“I mean… Yeah. It’s my apartment. I don’t want to freeload off of you.” Luke replied, rubbing his arm. 

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know, I know. Just… I need to. He owes me an apology.” 

There wasn’t anything more to say than that. Yes, Luke deserved an apology from Rowan. He could admit that what Rowan did was uncalled for. He knew that deep down, there was a good person under there. Why else would he have opened up to him the first time? Rowan was just complicated. He was so sweet initially. There had to be a reason why he was being so rude. Luke just hadn’t found it yet. 

There wasn’t much for either of the two men to say to each other. Luke’s mind was set, and Oliver couldn’t do more for him. He’d already done a lot for Luke. The size shifter couldn’t ask for more from him. 

So, Luke left the ginger’s apartment and returned back to his own. Opening the door revealed a quiet, still room. The smell of something burning fills his nostrils, causing his nose to crinkle up. 

“Rowan?” Luke called out. 

“In the kitchen.” The predator replied with a raised voice. 

Curious, the shifter lifts an eyebrow before making his way over towards the kitchen. At the corner, he spotted Rowan throwing some dark-colored, hard cookies into the trash can. 

“Okay, so, I can see that opening the window didn’t work.” Rowan looked over to Luke as he approached, taking note of his disgusted expression. 

Silence filled the air. Rowan swallowed the lump in his throat. 

Laughter breaks the silence, catching the predator off guard. 

“Did you just burn fucking cookies?!” Luke snorts, holding his stomach in an attempt to contain his laughter. 

“It’s not…. a big deal!” Rowan’s face flushes. This was just like any cooking fuck up, honest. It just so happened that it also was supposed to be Luke’s apology cookies. 

“It’s okay, it’s not a problem. I can help you with the next batch.” Luke remains smiling, but Rowan shakes his head. 

“No, I can do it. It’s supposed to be for you.” The predator huffs. 

“For me? Why?” Luke asks, raising an eyebrow.

Rowan falls silent, looking over to the freshly stirred cookie batter in the freshly cleaned bowl. He turns back over to it, grabbing the ice cream scoop and stealing a ball of cookie dough, then hands the scoop to his roommate. 

“Because I’m an idiot and was rude to you. I-I shouldn’t have… done that. Yelled at you. I’m….” Rowan’s voice trails off as he stares at their hands. Luke takes the scoop, and the taller man looks back up to Luke’s freckled face. “I’m sorry.” 

“Wow.” Luke’s voice is flat and unemotive. It stings Rowan to hear. Luke tastes the cookie dough, and his eyes widen. “You’re…. really trying.” 

Luke ends up mumbling to himself, and it catches Rowan off guard. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Oh, um… Sorry.” Luke takes another lick of the dough. Soon, it’s gone, and he brings the scooper to the sink to clean it himself. “It’s just…. I dunno. Thank you. For apologizing.”

Rowan’s eyes widen, and he nods his head as he watches Luke, albeit awkwardly. He watches as he cleans the scooper, then dries it off, then brings it over to the bowl of batter. The size shifter hits Rowan’s hips with his own to knock him out of the way, throwing the predator off guard. Luke chuckles. 

“You don’t have to push me over!” The predator retorts playfully. 

“Clearly, I do. I don’t want the landlord accusing us of trying to commit arson.” Luke’s smile turns cocky. “I’ll show you the proper way to do this, deal?” 

Rowan swallows his pride and groans. 

“Fiiine.”

. . . 

After Luke pulls the final batch of cookies out of the oven, Rowan’s green hues stare at the plate of perfectly baked, soft chocolate chip cookies. At least he got the batter right. He couldn’t trust himself to get that right, but at least he did. Hell, even his apology wasn’t that bad, right? It made Luke laugh. Things would be okay, right? 

…. So why did he want to put a shrunken Luke on top of one of these and eat him? He’s sweet. Like a cherry. It would be nice… 

The predator shakes his head in an attempt to shove the thought out of his brain. He can’t have pred-related thoughts right now. 

“Gonna let this sit for a bit. Have you tried one, yet?” Luke’s voice chimes in. 

“Huh? Oh, no… They smell incredible, though.” Rowan perks up, folding his arms. 

The size-shifter places the cookie tray on the top of the stove to let them sit for a few minutes. He turns the hot often off, then turns back around to stare at his strange roommate. Looking through the kitchen window, it looked like the sun was going to set soon. Had they been baking for that long? 

“Can you still smell anything burnt?” Asks Luke. 

“Uh….” With a few sniffs of the air, Rowan tilts his head as he attempts to snuff out any old burnt cookie smell…. Which he couldn’t find. “Nope, I think we got it all.” 

“Good.”

“Good.”

…. 

The pair stare at the floor. 

Luke can’t help but wonder what he tastes like to Rowan between the silence. He recalls Rowan calling him sweet. Like a cherry. Was that true, or just his fugue? 

This is way too awkward now. 

So much silence. 

The shifter reaches for a cookie, then grabs another, and shoves the second one into Rowan’s mouth. Rowan’s eyes widen in shock, and he steps back. Luke laughs, running out of the kitchen and into the living room. 

“Hey! You little shit!” Rowan calls out between chewing on the cookie and laughing. He uses his hands to catch the crumbs. Soon after, he runs after the little shit. 

“They’re supposed to be my apology cookies, I can do whatever I want with them!” Luke laughs. 

“I don’t think that’s how it works-!!” The predator gives chase towards the shorter man. 

It doesn’t take long for Rowan to catch up to Luke of course. There’s only so many places he can escape to in this apartment of theirs. Rowan grabs his wrist, and Luke turns around and laughs. 

“You can’t—!” Luke’s interrupted by Rowan grabbing his other wrist, and he’s quickly turned around. Laughing still, Luke attempts to fight his way out of the other’s grip.

“You little shit!!” Rowan smiles, fighting against Rowan’s arms as he attempts to fight and pull himself away. Laughter echoes all throughout the room. 

The two wrestle for a bit. Going back and forth between Luke and Rowan attempting to pull and push each other away between fits of laughter. Eventually, Luke’s legs give out, and….. 

“Shit—!!”

A loud “thud” hits the floor, and Rowan’s eyes are wide, letting go of Luke’s hands as he falls down with him. He lands over on top of Luke, and attempts to stop his fall by catching himself with his hands on either side of the shifter’s head. 

Despite everything that had just occurred, Luke was still laughing. He landed on his back, sure, but it didn’t stop his laughter. He wasn’t sure what was so funny, but… 

Finally, Luke calms down. He looks straight up, staring into Rowan’s eyes. 

Rowan’s expression is worried, and his eyes are wide. This moment…. 

This moment, Luke realizes Rowan is right on top of him. His face flushes deep red.

Suddenly, Rowan realizes the same. His own face flushes, and Luke presses his hand into Rowan’s chest to press and push the predator away. Rowan chokes, pulling himself away and sitting on the floor next to his roommate. 

“So…. Apology accepted?” The predator asks nervously, rubbing his neck.

“Hm…. Apology accepted, big guy.” Luke smiles, sticking his tongue out. 

. . .

Luke lays in bed in his room, staring up at the ceiling. 

Across the hall in the other bedroom, Rowan is doing the same thing. 

The two boys struggle with their thoughts. 

Luke thinks that he wants to feel Rowan swallow him down again. He wants to see the inside of Rowan’s mouth. The inside of his throat. The inside of his stomach. He wants to hear Rowan’s body react to the foreign presence of another person’s body within it. Not just any body though, Luke’s body. 

Rowan thinks to himself about how delicious Luke is. How his sweet scent fills the apartment they share. How perfect he seemed to fit within his belly. How perfectly shaped his middle was. How… sated his hunger was. 

There’s something so poetic about this, Luke thinks. About the fact that he cannot sleep while thinking endlessly about the boy he likes. It’s almost like a fairytale. Like a story. But he isn’t part of some story. Not one of those plays where they end up together in the end. 

In what world would eating people be something to bond over, anyway? …. In what world did Luke realize he was into that? 

This is such a rare thing to obsess over. Yet…. 

Sitting up, Luke stares over to his bedroom door. Maybe… Just maybe, they can…. 

Would Rowan allow that? Would Rowan accept? He made it clear he didn’t want to do that again. That he didn’t want to eat Luke again, but maybe they can talk. Maybe…

Maybe…..

… Did Rowan want to talk? 

( … Did Luke want to talk? )

Rowan’s stomach growls in the darkness of his room. 

He never said enough to Luke, he knows that. How could he? How can he find the words to tell Luke that he feels like the biggest monster—The biggest freak in the world? He is one. Luke wouldn’t understand, or he does and he’s just hiding his terror. 

But why would he be so adamant about trying to talk to him and to get to know him if… If he was terrified, Oliver wouldn’t have yelled at him like that. Luke wouldn’t have accepted his “apology cookies.” 

Rowan covers his eyes with his face, groaning. 

“Why is it so hard to just talk to you…?” He mumbles to himself. 

( Luke deserves better. )

Maybe Rowan deserves better. 

Maybe, just maybe, Luke thinks, I can be that better.

With his mind set, Luke stands up and walks out of his bedroom. 

. . .

A gentle knock at the door is enough to bring Rowan out of his mind. 

“… Rowan?” It chimes in. It’s Luke’s voice. He sounds tired. “Can… I came in? I want to talk. If… If that’s okay.” 

Rowan doesn’t respond for a second, instead blinking with wide eyes in response. Luke… wants to talk? This is real? Not a dream?

“Oh… Um…. Yeah, come in.” Rowan finally says, and the doorknob turns. The door opens, revealing Luke’s tired face. What time is it, anyway? And what are the chances that both of them are awake at such a time? 

Luke approaches, closing the door behind him. Out of courtesy, maybe. There’s nobody in the apartment but them. 

“So…” Luke starts, cutting himself off. His gaze falls to the floor as he stops just before the edge of Rowan’s bed. “I, um…. can’t sleep, so I was thinking I should talk to you about what’s on my mind.” 

The predator stares at his roommate in silence, nodding. He pulls his blanket down as he listens. 

“Yeah… Go ahead.” He responds. 

“O-okay… Uh… I wanted to… talk about everything. Involving….” Luke’s face flushes as he begins to talk, realizing how embarrassing this is. “… You eating me. Please.”

Luke’s voice sounds so desperate. It throws off Rowan. Does he… 

“I want you to eat me.” 

Rowan chokes. He was thinking it, sure, but the idea that Luke actually asked it was enough to throw him off. He didn’t even try to sugarcoat it or walk around it. 

Luke is being serious. Dead serious. 

“But—…. Why?” Rowan asks, his brows furrowing. 

“I can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking about you eating me. It’s all I’ve been able to think about since the hike…. I know that’s weird, but please... Let me be a meal for you.” The pair make eye contact as Luke speaks. The other’s voice is deeply serious. He desires more than anything to be eaten. 

Rowan’s stomach growls in response, and Rowan places a hand over it in response. He can’t even lie and say he isn’t hungry. He can’t lie and say that he wasn’t just obsessively thinking about swallowing his roommate down again. 

“… Okay.” Rowan complies. 

Relief spills across the room between the two men. Of course it did. They both want this. To be eaten. To eat. 

Luke, albeit hesitantly, sits on the edge of Rowan’s bed. He stares at the other’s face, scanning it in an attempt to read his expression. 

“How, uh… Do you want to do this?” The size shifter asks. 

“Full size. Please. I… I ne—, no… want to eat you at full size.” Rowan replies. 

Luke’s face flushes. He looks down to the sheets and blanket of Rowan’s bed. Did Rowan enjoy it? Eating him? 

Luke nods his head, and the two men stare at each other as moonlight gently seeps through the window in Rowan’s room. 

Rowan’s stomach growls again, and he winces. It doesn’t hurt, but it means that he really should eat Luke. The predator moves forward, approaching the other. His hands reach up for Luke’s shoulders. 

“You’re sure about this?” Rowan huffs, “You really want to be eaten?” 

“Yes, Please. Please… I need it for my own sanity.” Luke replies, holding himself still. 

Rowan is taken aback by this, but pulls Luke closer. Their faces are lined up perfectly with each other. The space between them lessens. Rowan looks over his roommate in the darkness. He sniffs the air, taking in Luke’s irresistible scent. His fingers play with the fabric of Luke’s shirt, and without hesitation, Rowan opens his mouth. With sharp teeth on display, Luke gazes down the upon maw. The back of his predator’s throat. Moonlight can’t gently illuminate the space of his mouth like it can the rest of the bedroom. Luke’s hands grab the other’s sides, and he inches his face closer to Rowan’s mouth. Waiting for each other… Waiting for the inevitable. 

With a nervous swallow, Rowan commits, strands of saliva parting in his mouth as he gently guides Luke closer, and wraps his lips around his head. He wants to eat him. He needs to eat him. So fucking badly. He’s so hungry. 

Rowan swallows around Luke’s head as it reaches the back of his throat, locking his fate for the night. Luke’s eyes shut tightly as he feels the top of his head slip past the predator’s throat. Butterflies flutter in his stomach, and he tries to stop himself from squeaking. His hands ball the other’s shirt tightly, and he can’t believe this is real. His face must be red already. Rowan’s swallow was loud. Then it happens again, and Rowan swallows Luke’s head again, and the swallow is desperate and loud. 

The shifter is pulled further inside the mouth, his face disappearing past Rowan’s lips. The predator takes a few deep breaths through his nose as his chest begins to purr. 

Luke’s favor is as sweet as it was the first two times he ate him. His tongue brushes along his meal’s face, and his stomach grumbles impatiently for its food. For Luke. Who knew how perfect Luke was for food? He fit so wonderfully before. He’ll fit so perfectly again. 

Letting go of Luke’s shoulders, Rowan decides to make a huge leap. He needs to eat his roommate. His Luke. His prey. A huge, forceful push mixed with a swallow as he holds his upper arms guides Luke’s entire head and shoulders into his mouth. Luke lets out a yelp as he’s pulled far, letting go of the predator’s sides. Rowan’s gullet wraps tightly around the shorter man’s face, massaging him gently and filling his ears with the sounds of powerful swallows and purring. The esophagus pushes and kneads against his face and cheeks, attempting to massage and guide his form down. 

Luke faced this in the past only once, but it was far too fast for him to process properly. Rowan ate him at full size the first time. Though tight, it’s nice… Rowan’s insides seem content with his form inside of him, and it seems Rowan himself agrees with that assessment. Another loud swallow sends Luke’s head past Rowan’s collarbone. The beating of Rowan’s heart is right next to his right ear. He’s so close to Rowan’s actual life force. Rowan’s lungs inhale, then exhale. They inhale, then exhale. If he listens closely, he can even hear Rowan’s purrs synchronize with his breathing… Is this what it means to love? Luke’s own heart skips a beat at the thought. His eyes remain closed as the song of his roommate’s body serenades his ears. 

Rowan’s mind kicks fully into autopilot now that he’s caught this delicacy. His stomach craves Luke’s form. It yells out and cries, hollow groans demanding that Luke enter inside it. Rowan swallows again, sending Luke further inside him. Desperate swallows lock the man’s arms to his sides as the predator holds onto them and pushes his prey further down his throat. 

Luke’s head is forced through a small entrance and shoved into a slightly larger chamber. The dark chamber grumbles and groans in response to its new guest, meaning he begins to fill up Rowan’s starving stomach. More of him is desperately swallowed up and forced inside. Rowan leans his head back, lifting Luke’s lower half into the air and off the bed. The predator’s hands press down on Luke’s butt to force him inside his throat, causing Luke to fluster as his face is squished up against the stomach wall. His hands going there of all places throw him off. This whole situation is enough to fluster him, but it’s Rowan’s hands that end him.

Rowan’s middle begins to extend and grow out with Luke now filling up his stomach, and another swallow pulls the shifter’s hips and butt down his throat, leaving his legs left to get down. Rowan’s deep, subtle purrs overwhelm Luke, and he can’t believe how happy he’s making the predator…. It almost makes him feel better about such a selfish request.

Rowan begins to rush, his hunger overtaking him. He wants to get all of Luke down as he feels him enter his core. As his belly grows and stretches outwards. As his shirt begins to rise along the curved middle of his center.

A big, heavy, and loud swallow gets down Luke’s thighs. Gravity and hunger do wonders for getting such large prey down. Rowan’s hands reach for his stomach, placing them on both sides as it grows larger and larger. It forces his legs to either side of the organ as it presses down on the cushion of the mattress as his meal enters more of the organ. His stomach lets out a very audible groan as more and more of the shifter is deposited inside him. 

Luke’s entire being is squished into fleshy walls. The internal folds wrap and hold him in place as he is continuously being shoved inside. Rowan swallows more of him, pulling him out from cold air and into the warm flesh of the predator’s insides. Luke’s eyes shut as his face squeezes into the flesh in front of him. Internal folds continue to spread and push out as Rowan’s noisy stomach and loud swallows welcome him inside. 

The internal organ wraps around Luke as if to hold him in a tight embrace, accepting all of him. Another loud and hard swallow from above forces more of Luke’s legs into Rowan’s throat, and it almost feels like Rowan is telling himself to hurry up with how fast he’s being eaten. Definitely not as fast as the hike, but he’s still desperate. Is Rowan always like this when he eats others? Or is it just for him? Is… Luke that filling? 

The thought makes Luke tense up. Rowan wouldn’t think of him that way. He doesn’t even know what Rowan’s sexuality is. For all he knows, Rowan is straight. 

Rowan swallows again, pulling Luke’s calves down. The bottom of the shifter’s legs and feet remain out, though it doesn’t last as another swallow pulls him down again. Rowan purrs, brushing his tongue along Luke’s skin as the final, hard swallow pulls Luke’s feet past his lips and down his throat. 

The predator’s throat muscles massage the rest of his meal’s body downwards, sending him past his throat, his chest, and into his stomach. Rowan exhales, lowering his chin and keeping his eyes closed. He feels the rest of Luke get stuffed inside his stomach and shift around, and he burps loudly as he finally finishes his meal.

Luke sits inside him, now. Right where he wants him… 

“… Wow…” Luke’s muffled voice speaks through layers of flesh and skin. He shifts again, pressing down against the cushion of the mattress, Rowan’s legs, and even his hands. In fact, his stomach distends so far that his shirt can’t even cover it anymore. It’s all folded up at the top, right where he sees Luke’s head suddenly pop up after moving around into a better position. 

“Wow, what?” Rowan responds, realizing where his hands are. He removes them in hopes that Luke didn’t notice and uses them to support his weight, placing them on the bed as he shifts his legs to straighten out. 

“Just… wow.” Luke takes a deep breath. He curls up inside Rowan’s belly, sinking into the stomach wall behind him. It’s warm and comfortable. Just like he remembers it. “I’m inside your stomach again.” 

Rowan’s eyebrows furrow, looking down at his large middle. His head tilts, though he hasn’t stopped purring. A sign to his comfort, perhaps. He does know that he’s not sure what to say in response. He doesn’t understand why Luke made such a strange request. Why would he ask to be eaten? Why is he reacting this way? Does he enjoy it? Is it a game to him? 

Rowan wants to cry and scream. To tell Luke to just tell him what he’s thinking. He’s a monster, surely Luke understands that?! 

Luke nuzzles a nearby wall, and he hears Rowan gently gasp in response. His heartbeat is so rhythmic, his lungs breathe in and out. The organ that holds him in place grumbles and groans in response to his existence inside of it. Rowan’s voice comes down on him from above. It’s so nice. This reminds him so much of the first time they did this, despite how ridiculous it was at the time. The shifter remembers how comfortable it was. How easy it was to want to fall asleep. Maybe he can fall asleep now… 

“Luke?” 

“… Yeah?” 

In the darkness of Rowan’s bedroom, Rowan scoots backwards on his bed to lean up against the wall and his pillows, supporting his back. 

“… Nevermind.” 

“Oh.” 

Silence. 

Rowan closes his eyes. Luke shifts silently. 

“Um…. How big do I make your stomach?” Luke’s voice is quiet, and it would be hard to hear him had they not been the only two people in the room. 

Rather, had Rowan not been the only person in the room. 

“Shit, huge, I think. You’re at full size, so my stomach really sticks out. My bed frame creaked a bit while I was eating you.” Rowan’s hand mindlessly reaches over to the top of his belly, resting on it and gently rubbing his finger against it in a circling motion. “My shirt can’t cover you. It would take a while to get up and walk around, but I could handle it.” 

“Damn… You really are strong.” Luke speaks calmly, trying to hide the embarrassment in his voice. 

“Yeah? You think so?” 

“Oh, uh… I googled a lot about preds the other day, y’know? I learned… a lot. A lot, a lot. The strength was one of them.” Luke replies, and it almost sounds like he’s speaking through his hands. 

“You… googled… what?” Rowan looks directly at his stomach. 

“I-I wanted to understand you. To know more about you. You weren’t giving me anything, so I took matters into my own hands.” The man beneath Rowan’s skin sounds a bit more confident this time with his words.

Though what the shifter speaks of confuses him and hits Rowan hard. He thinks his heart sinks. 

Of course Rowan didn’t give him anything. He thought the distance would be better for the both of them. He didn’t want Luke to see him  as the freak he truly is. But to go as far as looking into something like that… Why did he do that? Rowan was so rude to him. Rowan hurt Luke. Yet here he is, inside his stomach and trying to talk to him. 

Oliver’s voice echoes in the back of Rowan’s head. He really doesn’t deserve this. 

“I… don’t…. Why?” Rowan spits out weakly, defeated. 

“Is it… Weird to say it’s because I wanted to?” Luke replies. 

Rowan doesn’t answer, instead he stares directly at his stomach. Maybe it’s better this way. That Luke can’t see his face. That Luke remains his dinner for the night. 

“I… really hate myself, Luke. It fucking sucks being me.” The predator hiccups, inhaling sharply. “I-I feel so awful all the time. I see someone, and the first thing I think of is how delicious they smell, or what their flavor must be, or how hungry I am. I’m a fucking monster.”

Luke pauses, looking up. This isn’t the cool and mysterious jock that Luke first met when they moved in…. This is a broken man who’s just been crying for help this entire time. 

“Why…. Why do you think you’re a monster?” 

“Have you even thought about where you are right now, Luke? You’re literally inside my stomach, for the third time! I’ve eaten you three times, which is three times too many. I shouldn’t need to eat people, but I do, and it’s awful. If I don’t, it hurts, and I lose myself, and I just can’t control myself. But if I do eat someone, they’re trapped inside of me for however long I need and it’s weird. This isn’t… normal. There’s gotta be some way to fix this, so I can be normal… I don’t want to be like this my whole life…”

“Rowan, I—“

“Now, I’ve dragged you into my crazy world.” Rowan’s eyes swell with tears, and his vision becomes blurry. “I’ve pulled you into my bullshit. I-I thought… It was better to push you away so you wouldn’t have to get hurt by me, but I hurt you anyway, and I’m so, so sorry. I can never do anything right, you know? I can’t… I’m a freak, and I shouldn’t be eating people. I shouldn’t need this, but nothing as of late has felt right. You know, I… I ate someone the other day. After work. After I let you out again. I couldn’t stop thinking about being hungry, about eating you again. That’s not… normal, that isn’t me. I can usually go two weeks without needing to eat someone, but… I just couldn’t get it out of my head. So I paid him and I sat there on the ground, and it wasn’t right. I wasn’t sated. Nothing even worked to keep my hunger at bay. I-I can’t even…. I can’t do the one thing I’m not supposed to do the right way.” 

Tears stream down Rowan’s face, and he can’t contain his emotions anymore. He sobs, letting his tears overwhelm and cover his cheeks. This is embarrassing. He shouldn’t be crying. Not in front of Luke. This isn’t his responsibility, he shouldn’t have to deal with any of this. 

“Oh, Rowan…” Luke’s voice is so quiet, and he begins to stroke the inside of the predator’s stomach with his hand. It hurts him to hear the predator speak of himself in such a way, but it’s clear he has as many struggles as Luke does. He’s… just a broken man. “You’re not a monster… You’re not a freak. Predators… This is normal, you know? Rare, but… Normal.” 

Rowan doesn’t reply. He can’t. He can’t stop crying. 

“I don’t think you’re a monster, okay? I never have. I… really like this. Being eaten. If anything, I think that’s weirder than needing to eat people.” Luke chuckles lightly, continuing to rub the internal wall closest to him. “I… struggle, okay? I’m sorry for being so… forceful. I should’ve taken a slower approach. I shouldn’t have forced you into that hike with me. We wouldn’t be in this mess, but I’m glad we did, because I got to know you. Inside and out. Pun intended.” 

“If I wasn’t me, it wouldn’t have happened in the first place.” The predator insists. 

The image of his father, horrified of him, haunts his mind. His fist raised in defense, and the man stands tall over him. Rowan’s face hits the corner of the table, sharp wood and splinters crashing into his face and cutting his skin open. The wood digs in deep and Rowan falls to the floor before he can even process what just happened. His face stings, and blood trickles from the wound and onto the floor. The boy presses his fingers to his face, only to see blood drip down his hand. Tears fall fast down his face and make the wounds sting. 

The scars on the predator’s face sting ever so slightly at the memory, as if the skin holds the memory of that day. 

If Rowan wasn’t a predator, his parents wouldn’t have needed to be afraid of him. 

This was a bad idea. He shouldn’t have agreed to eating Luke. Luke has to face the worst of Rowan, and it terrifies him. 

Luke looks down, closing his eyes as he hears the pain in Rowan’s voice. He continues to rub the side of the wall, remembering that Rowan asked him to keep doing that last time. He can attempt to comfort him in any way he thinks might help. Rowan’s breathing and heartbeat are so fast. He’s panicking and sobbing, squeezing the stomach walls against him. It’s really hard to imagine what got Rowan to think of himself this way. 

“… Rowan, I don’t care that you need to eat people. I don’t care that you ate me, okay? I saw you before I even knew you were one, and I thought you were so cool and interesting. Mysterious and secretive… I like that, y’know?” Luke speaks up as Rowan falls silent, “That’s why I brought you on the hike. Because I wanted to get to know this cool dude who is also my roommate.” 

The idea that someone could find him cool baffled Rowan. 

“But… why?” The predator asks. 

“I…. just wanted to.” Luke replies. 

That’s such a weird answer to Rowan. What if he’s lying? What if he’s just saying that? Nobody has ever thought that the fact that Rowan is a predator was ‘cool.’ Nobody. Even the people he bribed. 

“If you have to eat me to feel sated and satisfied, then I implore you to, okay? Listen, I just… You live here, too. You deserve to be comfortable, too. We can do something to make sure you have a schedule, or….” The shifter’s voice fades out. 

There’s a silence between the two as Luke hears a subtle purr from above. Rowan started purring, maybe in response to the internal rub? He even started breathing steadily. Maybe to calm himself down. 

“I researched predators, Rowan. I learned a lot. When I was at my computer I was actually reading about them. Before, y’know…” Luke clears his throat. “Anyway, I wanted to learn about you since you wouldn’t let me. There’s a lot… I think I can help you.” 

Rowan stares at his bloated belly, listening to Luke’s muffled words. Why did he research predators…? He didn’t need to, that’s so crazy to him. 

“You… You really want to?” Rowan asks. 

“… Yes, I do.” 

Another pause. 

“Can I share some struggles of my own?” Luke breaks the silence. 

Rowan nods, but remembers Luke can’t see him do so. 

“Uh… yes. Yeah… Go ahead.” Rowan replies. It’s only fair. He clears his throat. 

Luke nods, pulling his hand away from the stomach wall he was rubbing at. 

Rowan tries to hide his disappointment at the sudden stop. 

“So… My mom died when I was young. She was the shifter of the family, and my dad wasn’t. I didn’t know much about what it was like to be a shifter, only that I used to get stuck tiny all the time without any control of it. ‘Used to’ is now ‘still does,’ but that’s besides the point.” Luke tries to chuckle in an attempt to make it seem lighthearted. He doesn’t want Rowan to feel bad for triggering him. “My dad took me to doctors and all these things to see if there was anything wrong physically with me, but there wasn’t. It was just a lot of emotion from losing my mom. From being bullied. It’s weird when you’re shrunk down with no explanation, and elementary school kids are just… assholes, y’know?”

Luke shifts inside of the organ, pressing down on the stomach folds underneath him in an attempt to sit up straight. His feet press out as he does so, causing Rowan to gasp lightly. Luke thinks he feels a hand brush over his movement. 

“So… I was alone, until Oliver came around. He pushed people away from me and picked me up to bring me somewhere to calm down. Somewhere that wasn’t loud. He was my only friend. My dad thought that he could understand what was happening to me, but he couldn’t. He’s not a shifter, he’ll never know. I overheard him once, cursing my mother’s name for leaving him with me. It’s… definitely not on the extreme level that you faced, but… I just want you to know that I get what it’s like being someone who thinks that what makes you different makes you a freak.” Luke huffs, leaning back and letting the flesh of Rowan’s stomach wrap him tightly. To engulf him and keep him in place. He closes his eyes, realizing that the warmth of Rowan’s insides made him sleepy once again. “That… I don’t want… to see you suffer.”

Luke speaks through a quiet yawn, and Rowan leans back against the pillows underneath him. Luke’s weight shifts gently as he does so, but the predator keeps his hands on his exposed stomach to hold it in place. To hold Luke. 

“I…. Thank you, Luke.” Rowan mumbles, closing his eyes. He tries to imagine a small, younger Luke. He sees himself next to Luke, both the same age, terrified of their bodies. He remembers Oliver mentioning such a thing happening to him. They both have things they can’t control about themselves. 

Maybe, just maybe, they could help each other out. 

“Don’t… Don’t… Worry about it, yeah?” Luke’s eyes close as they’re too heavy to keep open. 

“Well, I’m going to anyway, but thanks.” Rowan chuckles gently. He feels himself wanting to fall asleep, and the tiredness in Luke’s voice doesn’t help. The quiet yawn he suddenly hears makes Rowan yawn himself. 

“… Good night, big guy.” Luke mumbles, and it’s almost too quiet for Rowan to hear. 

“Who are you calling ‘big guy’?” Rowan feigns offense, soon leaning back and resting his head on his pillow. “Good night, Luke.” 

[rose-tinted-nostalgia]

FOR THE RECORD. the word crooked is supposed to look like this. uncomfortably unaligned AS A CHOICE. but tumblr has decided to spite me and here we are. 

[kottkrig]

People liking your personal OCs is still such a crazy feeling, I've been doing this for years and ppl asking about them still fills my entire heart with warmth and idk how to handle it

You enjoy this fictional guy I made up for fun?? Whose only content is random artwork or writing made by me and a handful of other artists at most? They have no show/book/game with a large fandom, it's just one person with an art blog?? I love u

[shitpostingkats]

We need less "shy, anxious, always second guessing" Apollo in fanworks, and approximately 400% more of whatever the hell this is.

[sailermoon]

idk why ppl think megan is faking liking anime she was so right incels mad she’s a weeb and a baddie

[cozylittleartblog]

cant tell you how bad it feels to constantly tell other artists to come to tumblr, because its the last good website that isn't fucked up by spoonfeeding algorithms and AI bullshit and isn't based around meaningless likes

just to watch that all fall apart in the last year or so and especially the last two weeks

there's nowhere good to go anymore for artists.

edit - a lot of people are saying the tags are important so actually, you'll look at my tags.

#please dont delete your accounts because of the AI crap. your art deserves more than being lost like that #if you have a good PC please glaze or nightshade it. if you dont or it doesnt work with your style (like mine) please start watermarking #use a plain-ish font. make it your username. if people can't google what your watermark says and find ur account its not a good watermark #it needs to be central in the image - NOT on the canvas edges - and put it in multiple places if you are compelled #please dont stop posting your art because of this shit. we just have to hope regulations will come slamming down on these shitheads#in the next year or two and you want to have accounts to come back to. the world Needs real art #if we all leave that just makes more room for these scam artists to fill in with their soulless recycled garbage #improvise adapt overcome. it sucks but it is what it is for the moment. safeguard yourself as best you can without making #years of art from thousands of artists lost media. the digital world and art is too temporary to hastily click a Delete button out of spite

[liones-s]

a big lesson for me was learning that most things are not as fragile as I’d believed. missing a class, or turning in a bad assignment, won’t instantly destroy your professor’s opinion of you. accidentally saying something harsh won’t make your friend want to end the friendship. it takes work to repair these things - it takes effort and research and sometimes a sincere apology - but you can do that because they’re not irreparably broken. what you’ve worked to build, in academia and in relationships and in life, is stronger and more enduring that your mind may teach you to believe. don’t let imagined fragility lead you to giving up

[chiptrillino-art]

(ID in ALT Text) Happy very, very late Mother's Day!

I am not saying that zuko is sokkas substitute for kya. or they look in any way similar! The whole concept here is that something was happening at the moment, be it how they were laying in bed, how the hair pooled over the pillow, or how sokka was able to hold onto it. It just brought sokka back. It triggered a memory, and suddenly he relived a brief memory. Making him suddenly miss his mother again. hope you enjoy!

[nymph1e]

On Discomfort and Morality

My father finds gay men uncomfortable.

He's told me before that it's like a knee-jerk for him. Something he doesn't consciously control. He sees two men behaving romantically, and his body reacts with mild discomfort.

In the 1960s, when he was in high school, most of the boys in his form thought he was gay on the simple fact that he wasn't homophobic. He wouldn't participate in insulting queer people, he didn't care if someone was gay, he wouldn't have a problem hanging out with gay people. So people thought he was gay. That's how prevalent homophobia was in his formative years.

When I was 10, my dad told me very seriously that Holmes and Watson were gay. That it was obvious from the literature and the time period that they were meant to be a gay couple. When I was 14 and I came out to my parents as bi, when my mum was upset my dad ripped into her for it. Told her that she was being stupid, that it was my life to live how I wanted to and that she needed to get over herself.

My dad formed my views on censorship: that being that it was completely ridiculous and thoroughly evil. He didn't believe in censorship of any kind. If I asked him a question about sex, he answered it honestly. When I was 12 and I asked him about homosexuality, still young and uncertain, he told me that there was nothing wrong with it. That it was just how some people were. That there was likely an evolutionary reason for it. And that for some people it was uncomfortable on an instinctual level.

He taught me that just because you're uncomfortable with something, doesn't make it wrong. He also taught me that most people don't understand this.

I see a lot of this on the internet as of the last few years. The anti shipping movement, the terf movement, the anti ace movement. It all stems from discomfort that people have crossed wires into believing means wrong. Really every -ism and -phobia out there stems from this same fundamental aspect of humanity.

The next time you see something and you automatically think it's disgusting, or wrong, or immoral, I invite you to ask yourself: is this actually wrong or does this just make me uncomfortable?

[gendernewtral]

gilbert baker designed his flag with the express purpose of it including every single queer person. baker was so dedicated to making sure his flag was inclusive that he added another stripe in 2017, lavender, to represent diversity. the concept that it’s for white gay men came around later and needs to be changed.

can we please go back to associating the original flag, and ideally the modern rainbow flag, with inherent inclusion of every single queer person? instead of deciding that the original wasn’t good enough? personalized flags are important for representing those who have typically been excluded from the queer community, but reclaiming the original flag as a symbol of inclusion is important too.

[foolsocracy]

they barge into justice league meetings saying they have something very important to show them. and do stuff like this

[lazylittledragon]

domesticating your vampire: a memoir

(beautiful high res version on patre0n)

[catmask]

does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.

[flagellant]

yeah we might be brothers in christ but so were cain and abel so shut the fuck up before i decide to find a rock about it

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

I'm compiling some safety tips here for people in the US here that I found online. Some things you may want to do before January: 

Make an appointment with your doctor to talk about a long-term birth control plan, such as an IUD or vasectomy. 

Make an appointment with your doctor to make sure your vaccinations are up to date and to get a Covid booster. 

Check in, and stay in contact with, your queer friends. There’s strength in numbers. Community is important. 

Consider renewing your passport if necessary. 

Consider stocking up on fluoride toothpaste, pregnancy tests or other health products you worry about not (safely) having access to in the future. 

Rest up. Hydrate. Eat. Take care of yourself. The best act of rebellion is staying alive. You don’t need to feel strong or brave or even optimistic, just be kind to yourself. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[justbackgroundnoise]

Chappell Roan, a lesbian, went on a national broadcast tonight and performed a song about dating a closeted woman who refuses to acknowledge their relationship and denies the fact that she’s a lesbian. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that happening but here we are and it’s amazing.

As a lesbian woman, to have an artist go out and be so entirely herself in every way, to be so proud of her own sexuality and to perform a song like this and have it be broadcasted to millions of people…it makes me so emotional. All I have ever wanted as a queer woman is to have this sort of unabashed representation and we’re finally getting it in such an incredible way. What an era we are living in and all I can say is long may it continue and I am so proud to be a Chappell Roan fan.