#because they obviously still care for one another

[mecachrome]

#i wish it weren't taboo to talk about how 814 are literally just an audhd couple... could discuss this for days. does anyone want to

actually yes i would like nothing more this is lowkey all i think about sometimes

HLSDKFHLH i was about to publish my own post but now i feel enabled to write a Longer Response 🧡 thank u guys

2 me 814 is Girl who is so classically adhd it's comical (overt hyperfixations + poor executive function + basically arfid + time blindness) coexists beautifully with Misunderstood autistic girl (too straightforward for other people + pretended to be a car as a child + sensory issues through the roof + consciously masking in every interview) while everyone loses their minds because they should Hate Each Other and be at each other's throats??! and yet they don't because their neurodivergent swag transcends petty team politics 💗

like honestly i think they interact easily because they're both weird & particular in their own ways but their priorities are ultimately the same so why would any of that matter you know? and they try to accommodate each other when they're able to even if it's little things like oscar not eating salmon around lando anymore lol 😭 (i say this as audhd guy with extreme sensory issues and many other Problems and Issues... that is in fact romanze to me. also little stuff like the No Name Drop? moment because yes it's small in the grand scheme of things but to me it's special because it's like... THEIR inside joke and oscar is proving he does enjoy it and cares about maintaining it :') and then when lando was feeling down post-race in brazil he pulled out landinho all on his own <3)

like this is so random but i was just rewatching the logan sexed bit earlier and it's so funny how oscar is just like ??? WHAT. and somewhat annoyed at being grilled about it because in his head he's thinking "it's literally just a show title why are you Willfully Misunderstanding me idg why that's so funny to you are you 5." but with lando there's so much less... idk laughing At each other as if there's some big joke one person is missing out on and more just giggling together because oscar thinks every little thing lando says is funny and because they're equally charmed by each other's particularities. like oscar doesn't mind that lando is super fidgety and respects that he has Depths (saying that lando is a mix of sarcastic/dry, excitable, and serious) while lando has joked that oscar is somewhat robotic before but obviously still revels in wheedling genuine reactions out of him :') like you can see from how they get caught up in their little world while in parc fermé or doing their f1 media duties that they're capable of just focusing on Each Other without a care in the world for other people and they aren't talking just to have content for the cameras...

and like again the whole point of f1 is that it's a media circuit that needs overextended drama to survive as a consumable product but in the end neither of them care to sustain these artificial demands because it's just antithetical to their personalities and how their brains operate... their job is literally just car 🏎

also another thing is how people talk about 814 always twinning but what adds even more dimension to it is basically oscar admitting and being conscious of his mirroring lando's expressions 😭 and the fact that he's always choosing him for interview questions/copying his answers during games! like i think it's sooo compelling that oscar unintentionally latched onto lando as a young teenager in the uk and never really strayed from that because you have a very expressive, larger-than-life lando who is prone to being misrepresented because people don't really understand the manifestation of adhd and then level-headed oscar who is also poorly read because he doesn't express himself "conventionally" taking one look at lando and being like Hmmm yes. i'll mold myself after that. and lando being so happy and open to that dynamic 🧡 does it not move u

[elsa-fogen]

hello lobotomy au - special delivery! PAIN.

it's even more depressing than i expected... shit. it makes ME sad. which, usually, doesn't happen.

this au is really fucking depressing.

"i'm not gonna post about this au any time soon" - she said and immediatelly posted something

okay, so, how this "surgery" affected the Trix

Stormy's now absolutely passive. she doesn't do anything on her own, doesn't talk, doesn't react. she's basically like a ragdoll - except the times when she's not. she has only two conditions now, 1 where you can do anything with her, 2 where you can't move her even with a fucking tank. nothing in between. What is going on in her hed tho is a complete mystery.

Darcy's doing little bit better. just a little bit. she still can talk, can do many things. she just doesn't. she's absolutely apathetic, and without guidence she can just… starve to death, lying on the floor near the full fridge, just because she can't make herself get up and do anything (I wanted to give her memory issues - that she can't make any new memories and wakes up thinking that the last battle with the winx was just yesterday, but i was told that lobotomy doesn't cause memory issues). she also almost doesn't feel any emotions. The only thing she feels - is rage towards people who did this to them, when she sees Icy crying. speaking of her…

Icy is lucky (or unlucky) to be the most functional one of the three. she can still walk, talk and react almost normally to her surroundings. she just has really hard time thinking anout literally anything. it's like her iq dropped from 180 to 40-50, idk. so, yeah, no plans for world domination in this condition can be made. she even has hard time planning her day. And, also, she now can't control her magic at all - anything she touches will be frozen, so she has to wear artifacts that don't let her use magic at all. But not only her magic is out of control, her emotions are as well. In my aus Icy usually doesn't cry at all. In this one tho... in this one she will cry for all her alternative versions, yeah. And, as a bonus, occasional epileptic seizures.

And the worst thing is - she DOES realise how much she changed, notices that things she used to do without thinking at all now are taking her way to long to do. And she sees how her sisters changed as well. And she hates herself, she hates the winx, she hates the light rock for doing this to them. But she can't just end her sufferings, although she was thinking about it, her sisters will not survive without her. so she keeps living. for them.

she found a way, she spends her evenings trying to live through the next day and making a plan in her notebook, she sets alarm clock for every step, she sends million delayed reminders to herself. she goes to bed very late, but at least her next day will be a little bit easier.

But... their life has another catch. Obviously, none of them can work, not with such conditions. Icy tried, but got fired in less than an hour. But they are getting only one pension - for Stormy. Why is that? Because Icy and Darcy have huge family savings. But they can't get to them - it's now too difficult of a task to do. Icy can't plan the whole thing through, something will go wrong and she will be lost. And Darcy can't even leave the house before losing last bit of motivtion. Even if she left, she would stop in the proccess without someone who'd tell her to continue. And they can't go together, not without Stormy. And with her it becomes much more complicated. Hell, they can just lose her somewhere. And so they have to just survive with what they got.

The Trix don't have anyone, except for themselves. Who will take care of Darcy and Stormy if something happens? Icy always would answer: I will. But who will take care about you, if something happens to you? Darcy and Stormy will, isn't it obvious?

she never thought, that something can happen to all of them at once.

[dreamdragonkadia]

My Christmas saga continues.

p.jackson x reader

Being here really was bad for the wallet. New York had a way of draining it without mercy, and even worse, your two suitcases—already bursting at the seams—weren’t faring much better. You and Percy had only been here for a little over a week, and you’d both been dragged into the gravitational pull of every little boutique and holiday pop-up shop you passed. The logic was airtight, at least on your part. There were so many cute things that would look perfect in your West Coast apartment, and obviously, you were already planning ahead for the bigger picture: the house you two kept daydreaming about, one that would be bought in a few years.

The city was magic this time of year, snow clinging to sidewalks like dusted sugar, the streets humming with holiday cheer, and Sally Jackson’s apartment warm and cozy in comparison to the chill outside. It felt like you’d blinked and the week had flown by.

Still, there were a few more days to soak it all in.

Percy’s head was heavy on your stomach, one arm draped lazily across your hip as he refused to acknowledge the start of the day. You were half-sure he was still asleep, but you caught the way his lips twitched when Sally, ever the wonderful host and future mother-in-law, walked in and handed you a cup of coffee. “You two are worse than Estelle when it comes to waking up,” she teased with a smile, cradling her own mug.

“I’m awake,” you defended with a grin, careful not to jostle Percy too much. Your free hand absently combed through his unruly dark hair, which, in hindsight, probably wasn’t doing him any favors in the motivation department. He groaned in response, though you could feel his smile against your sweater.

Sally chuckled softly, sitting down on the arm of the couch with a content sigh. “What are the plans today? Or is it another day of convincing Percy to do more shopping?”

At that, Percy groaned dramatically, muffled into your stomach. “I didn’t sign up to carry this many bags on my vacation,” he grumbled. You nudged him with your elbow.

“You signed up when you became my fiancé,” you reminded him cheerfully. “It’s in the fine print.”

“That’s unfair. No one reads the fine print.”

“You should’ve,” you teased, grinning as you tugged gently on his hair. He finally looked up at you, sea-green eyes groggy but warm, his lopsided smile peeking through. Sally watched the exchange with that soft, knowing expression only mothers seemed to master, and you felt your cheeks heat up just a little under her gaze.

“Well, if you’re asking for input,” you said, turning to Sally, “we were thinking about heading into Midtown today. Percy wants to check out the LEGO store because he’s basically a seven-year-old in disguise.”

“I heard that,” Percy mumbled, though he didn’t even try to deny it.

“And then we’re grabbing lunch somewhere,” you continued, ignoring him. “After that, we can go ice skating if you’re up for it?”

Sally’s face brightened at the suggestion. “Oh, I’d love that! Estelle’s been asking about skating for weeks.”

At the mention of her name, Estelle Jackson herself came running into the room, still in her pajamas, her hair a curly mess of bedhead. “Did you say skating?!” she squealed, practically bouncing as she climbed onto the couch to tackle Percy’s legs.

“Whoa there, kiddo—personal space,” Percy whined, though he reached out to tickle her sides, sending her into fits of giggles.

You smiled as you sipped your coffee, watching the scene unfold. There was something so good about being here—about the way the Jackson family took you in like one of their own without hesitation. Sally always insisted you two stay with them when you visited, never taking no for an answer. And as much as you teased Percy about being glued to his childhood bed, it was nice waking up to the smell of Sally’s cooking and the sound of Estelle dragging her brother into another one of her games.

A yawn escaped Percy as he finally sat up, ruffling his hair like a sleepy golden retriever. “Fine. Skating it is. But if I wipe out, you’re buying dinner.”

“Deal,” you said quickly.

Estelle grinned wickedly. “Percy always falls!”

“I do not!”

“You fell last time,” Sally chimed in helpfully, sipping her coffee with an innocent look.

You bit back a laugh as Percy shot his mom an incredulous look, clearly betrayed.

The next few hours were a whirlwind of jackets, scarves, and laughter as you all bundled up to head into the cold. The city seemed to sparkle as snow flurries fell, dusting the streets in white. Percy tried to grumble about carrying your shopping bags, but you caught him sneaking a glance at one of your purchases—a tiny ornament shaped like a sea turtle—and knew he secretly loved it.

Midtown was as busy as ever, lights and sounds blending together into something magical. Estelle tugged on Percy’s arm at every window display, practically dragging him to the Rockefeller Center tree. You caught Sally watching the two of them with a soft smile, her eyes glimmering with pride.

And later, when you were all lacing up ice skates, Percy leaned in close, his breath warm against your ear. “For the record, if I fall, I’m taking you down with me.”

You grinned. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

The day stretched on, full of stolen moments like these—Percy stumbling on the ice and pulling you into his arms to steady himself, Estelle clinging to both of you as she skated ahead triumphantly, Sally laughing harder than you’d ever seen as she tried to keep up.

By the time you made it back to the apartment, rosy-cheeked and exhausted, it was nearly dark outside. The glow of the Christmas tree filled the living room as you all collapsed onto the couch, Percy pulling you close to his side with a content sigh.

“This,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple, “is what makes all the shopping worth it.”

You laughed softly, snuggling into him. “I told you so.”

From the other end of the couch, Estelle chimed in sleepily, “You two are gross.”

You and Percy exchanged a glance, smiling as you both leaned over to ruffle her hair.

“Get used to it, kid,”

[grumpchump]

Adding the full yap because a few people asked for it !

(no fast pass spoilers, I'm not caught up yet anyway!)

I feel like this theme applies to almost every character in the main cast.

First of all, we all know that one of Chase's biggest aspirations is to be a famous singer, even though nobody in his life really thinks he can do it. He seems perfectly aware of this. He knows that everyone thinks his dream is impossible, and maybe part of him thinks the same thing, but he just doesn't care. He's still extremely determined to realize his goals despite what everyone thinks of him.

Buddy especially doesn't think very highly of him (at first!)- throughout a good portion of the season, he constantly assumes Chase is going to give up the stories as soon as they get hard. But as Chase says in Sick Day, it's not his style to give up. He is so much more than what a lot of people expect him to turn out to be and he's so cool and I love him so bad

This applies to Buddy pretty obviously too. He's meant to be a cold and ruthless villain, and he certainly does try to be that. He's tough and more than a little mean at times, but we can see pretty consistently that he isn't as heartless as he might want people (Chase) to think. Even from the beginning when he's determined to antagonize Chase and get his key, he drops hints and helps him to finish the stories.

I always thought the scene in the Cinderfella arc where he tells Chase that he can eat the storybook food was really interesting. Like, he has no incentive to do that. He has no reason not to sit by and watch Chase suffer wanting to eat the desserts. But instead he does this small act that is, whether intentionally or not, actually kinda nice of him. It's just another small moment that shows that the villain persona people expect of him isn't really all that he is.

(This is a smaller thing, but I think with his exterior and how he acts in the books, we kind of expect him to be cunning and hard-working. I believe Punko said in a Q&A that in his free time he's actually an extremely lazy person, contrary to how we usually see him. I'm just mentioning that because I think it's funny and I love him a lot.)

Deacon is an extremely complex character with so many layers that I honestly am still grappling with, this guy's really cool.

A lot of his struggles are with the expectations placed on him. We know his whole life and career have been planned out for him by his parents. There's constantly a lot of pressure on him to work hard at this path that has been chosen for him, but in reality, he doesn't want any of it. My man just wants to read his shitty fantasy novels and chill with horses, give him a break !!

He's also constantly trying to defy his role as the helper key (specifically in Sick Day and The Book of Deacon). I think it's really interesting how he struggles to accept his role. Chase and Buddy don't actively try not to be the hero and the villain, they just naturally are more morally grey with it. Deacon, on the other hand, is almost a little desperate to go beyond being a helper and fall into another alignment, acting carelessly and causing trouble because of it. And the thing is, it makes perfect sense why he'd do it.

Books are very much a source of escapism for him. Actually getting to LIVE OUT the books is extremely exciting. Inside the books, he has a chance to escape his parents' expectations- being the helper, though, he just feels like he has a new set of expectations placed on him. Once he actually gets to be the hero in The Book of Deacon, he learns that this role is just as tough- again, he's trading one set of expectations for another. There's really no winning for this man lol. but im getting a little off topic here.

What Deacon needs is to reject the expectations his parents have placed on him and do what will make him truly happy. We can see how Buddy and Chase sort of naturally deviate from their expectations just through being themselves, but Deacon is still struggling in this process. Deacon is struggling to be himself in the way Buddy and Chase do.

There is still that level of acceptance he needs to have for his current situation though, specially in his helper role. He's still struggling to grasp all that being a helper means and how it's still just as important a role to take on as the hero or villain. He needs to find a way to balance his responsibilities and his happiness.

In Prunella's case, it's a bit harder to say- as of Friends and Family, we haven't gotten to spend as much time with her as the boys, so we're still learning more about her. I think the irony of this little girl getting to play the role of the big strong hero is sort of a subversion of expectations in itself lol.

We've also seen her upbringing. We've seen her mom. We've seen her house. It's a big awesome fairytale mess, and she doesn't really fit into it at all- being more into wilderness survival, she's not really what most people would assume her to be when they see her home life. Nothing wrong with that of course, just worth mentioning. We also learn in Friends and Family that she's very advanced for her age- she's extremely smart and probably a lot more understanding and level-headed about all the key business than I think a lot of other kids would be. I'd say she deviates from what a lot of people would expect of a child her age.

I'd love to hear if anyone has any other thoughts about her character !! I like her a lot and I'm excited to get to know more of her in the story :)

I wanna touch on the Keys last, specifically Silver. This part will be more speculation, so take it with a grain of salt.

In line with the theory about Silver possibly betraying Chase, this theme would apply perfectly. The way we've gotten to know Silver, she's extremely sweet and caring. She acts very selflessly for her family and friends and is eager to lend Chase a helping hand in saving his mom.

What we need to remember is that her first priority is to take care of her family. Helping Chase with his thing is definitely a means to reunite everyone (since he'll need all 12 keys to make his wish anyway), but it may not feel like she's doing enough. Helping her family and taking care of the Keys is her ultimate goal. If she's the heroine of her story, it makes perfect sense that she would take whatever actions necessary to do this.

The problem is, Cinderella Boy follows CHASE as the protagonist. We're rooting for Chase to evade Ex Libris, collect the keys, and save his mom. From this perspective, Silver betraying Chase, going behind his back, etc. would technically be an antagonistic action.

Am I saying that makes her a villainess? No, I really don't think so. But we've come to know Silver as a kind, supporting force for Chase. All I'm saying is, if she really were going behind Chase's back in some way (referring specifically to the letter she writes to Violet at the end of Friends and Family), it would absolutely subvert ours and Chase's expectations of her. It would line up with the theme of defying these expectations.

This theme is another of the many reasons why the Beach Boys arc is so important.

Circling back to Chase and Buddy, the core relationship at the center of the story- up until this point, Chase and Buddy have not cooperated with each other. Just a few episodes ago was the Toffee Break arc, where Buddy was an absolute menace and Chase straight got him thrown off a boat, lol.

But then Chase sees Buddy struggling to light a fire, and he does something unexpected. Even though he and Buddy have spent pretty much every moment together as rivals, he offers Buddy a tip on how to start the fire. He completely subverts what we've come to expect of their relationship. And then Buddy does something even more unexpected by returning the gesture and sharing his fish.

They're meant to be the hero and the villain- complete antagonists to one another. But in this moment they both choose to defy their expected roles and share a small, nice moment.

Later, Chase offers to help Buddy get out of the dangerous situation he's living in, and Buddy assumes he's lying. He doesn't expect Chase to be genuine about it. But like he says in Beach Boys (VI), Chase gets mad at him for doing the same thing, and he realizes he's been wrong about Chase maybe the whole time. Chase is not at all like Buddy expected him to be.

I think the point Chase makes in this episode about their roles as the hero and the villain is extremely important to the story as a whole. Buddy is meant to be the villain, so he's supposed to be a horrible person. Chase is meant to be the hero, so he's supposed to be patient and forgiving. But Chase says it himself- he doesn't care about that. He isn't the perfect protagonist we might expect him to be. He's an extremely kind and good person, yes, but he also has no trouble standing his ground and acting the way HE wants to, despite what everyone thinks of him. And Buddy, while harsh and standoffish, has plenty of moments that showcase how he's actually quite a caring person when he starts to let down his guard around someone.

Hell, even the entire concept of Cinderella Boy as a whole is kind of a subversion of expectations in itself!!!! A boy finds a magical artifact that lets him enter and play out any story he uses it on, but, ironically, he always has to be the princess?? it's amazing i love it

Cinderella Boy shows us consistently that nobody is stuck playing the role everyone expects them to. Nobody is bound to the perceptions that other people have of them, and everyone is free to defy these expectations and be the person they want to be. Chase says it best in Beach Boys (IV): "Nobody should have to accept being the villain if they're trying their best not to be."

To rap up my yap session, Cinderella Boy is a narrative about defying expectations and other people's perceptions of you and being a person of your choosing and everyone should go reread it one billion more times !!!!!!

shout-out to Cinderella Boy and its ongoing theme of defying the expectations everyone has for you and being more than your roots and upbringing, gotta be one of my favorite genders fr

[mymelodylvr]

clingy!jj x reader

jj maybank might be the neediest man you’ve ever met.

at first, you were always the one clinging on to him in the relationship. but the second he got attached to you, the switch completely flipped. for the past week, he’d been following you around like a lost puppy - falling asleep holding you like his life depended on it. you’d have to remind him that you weren’t going anywhere (and that he couldn’t hold you that tight because you couldn’t breathe). but in all honesty, it was cute, and you didn’t mind his semi-weird antics all. but the more he latched on to you, like he was scared that you’d leave him, the more worried you got.

it was a typical sunday night for you and jj. john b was out on one adventure or another with sarah, and dragged pope along with him. kie, not wanting to be a third weel, went with them (can you blame her?). luckily for you, this meant you and j could stay at the chateau without anyone bothering you. you two decided on rewatching some saw-type movie that grossed you out, but he liked it, so who cares.

you’re sitting on jogn b.’s old and lumpy couch, constantly squirming to find a comfortable spot. unfortunately, jj was lying on you

“stop moving, I’m trying to watch”

you hardly ever see him like this - so focused. it was on people dying in the most gruesome ways somebody could think of, but it’s still nice to see him calm.

“jayj, you’ve seen this 50 times, I think you can miss a second while I’m trying to get comfortable on this old, stupid sofa” you say, letting out a yawn.

“you’re cranky.”

“I’m not.”

“you so are.” you could fight him on this, but the way he grinned while looking up at you with those perfect eyes? you couldn’t get mad if you tried. so you place a wet kiss to his forehead and start to wriggle free of his arms, to your dismay, he didn’t budge.

“I gotta go to the bathroom” you laugh out.

“so hold it” he grunted, half-paying attention to the movie, and half paying attention to peppering kisses on your stomach. as you giggle, finally freeing yourself from his grasp, you stand up, and instantly- his focus is completely on you. you don’t see him like this often. you knew that he knew that you were just going to the bathroom. at least logically, he had to know that. but those damn puppydog eyes, you couldn’t pull yourself away from them. this led you to saying one of the weirdest things you had said in that relationship that far.

“um - baby?”

“yeah?”

“do you want to come with me?”

it was almost a look of relief that washed over him, leaving you more confused as he held your hips walking to the bathroom.

“jay, why did you want to come in here with me?” a weird thing to say while flushing. “can’t let you out my sight for a second, pretty, someone’ll, grab you” he jokes. but you’re not sure if it’s a joke. “jayj.. you know I’m not going anywhere right? you need to know that.” again, a weird thing to say while in a bathroom. “yeah, I know, obviously, obviously you aren’t” he forces out a laugh, sniffling too much for you too believe him.

for a split second you debate hugging him, having not washed your hands. why were you having this conversation in a bathroom? and for another second it’s quiet. thats when you hug him.

“I am not going anywhere, maybank, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” you say, giggling at the end. you can tell he wants to cry, or say something, but wont let himself. thats’s okay for now - you know it’ll come sooner or later.

after a few seconds of a warm embrace, you hear a laugh.

“it’s pretty gross that you didn’t wash your hands, ma” your jaw drops, letting out a laugh, before slapping him playfully and going to wash your hands.

“you’re so sassy”

“you love it” he replies quickly, as you turn the sink on and grab the soap,

“maybe I do, what are you going to do about it” you say, smirking to yourself, as you finish what you were doing and turn off the water. his hands find your hips, met with a gasp from you.

“don’t wanna finish the movie?”

“nah, apparently I’ve seen it like fifty times anyways”

A/N: I kind of hate this, but it's cute? obviously very cringe, but it's obx fanfiction, it's hard not to be? idk

[asarigg]

Character Design: Part 7

KOTODAMA

Speaking of Aoba’s powers, it was traditionally believed that words had power, and precisely in Koujaku’s route, which is the one with the traditional japanese theme, it’s not just about what Aoba says, the step to choose the bad or good ending is precisely to form a word.

The word for “speech” (koto) and the word for “soul” (tama) are combined. Words can magically affect objects, and the ritual chanting of words can affect the individual and the environment. For example, if you call someone’s name, the sound will have an impact on them, regardless of whether they can hear you or not. Spells and incantations to shinto gods were believed to possess divine power. Not only people, but also animals and objects have souls, so it’s not strange that this is also the case for words. At first it seems like they were just spells and incantations, but over time other words took magical power as well.

Words are also used to make talismans, and writing itself became an art. I wouldn't be surprised if the connection between the spiritual realm and hair could have something to do with their phonetic similarity. Both “god” and “hair” are kami, although I think with a slightly different pronunciation, so it is just another reason to believe that Aoba’s hair has a heavy religious, sacred and magical meaning for Koujaku.

FLOWERS

Now let's talk about the flowers that appear in their illustrations. Cherry blossoms bloom in early spring when the school year starts, new careers too. It might even be an inspiration to look for a new job or even getting married, everything starts with cherry trees, for about two weeks it is a strong representative of spiritual beauty and new beginnings.

Rebirth, renewal, optimism to start something beautiful. Its short life span makes us reflect on the brevity of life, to comprehend the value of life and enjoy every second of it. This flower was also seen as the symbol of the samurai, both were considered to have a short life, and the cherry petals represented the drops of blood spilled in their battles. It is the soul of the samurai, and their souls live in the cherry tree.

We see it being used constantly in their illustrations, they even used it as decoration for the promotional images of their figure.

Obviously it is one of the most important flowers, if not the most, because besides the peonies in Koujaku's tattoo, it is perhaps the one with the most significant weight. The first time we see the cherry blossom is in the CGs at the beginning and end of Re:connect. Let's remember that at the beginning is when Koujaku finally cuts his hair.

Not only the flowers, but also the haircut symbolizes the beginning of a new era, for each of them individually, and for both of them as a couple. Cutting Aoba's hair isn't just a simple "I want to be the one to cut your hair" because he wants to be special. It's more of a "I want us to write a new page in life together." They've been through so much and now they can finally see life with different eyes, especially Koujaku, who had a strongly tunneled vision.

Aoba is trusting him with something that has hurt him so much before and that he's been bullied for, which is also the reason they met, because Aoba’s hair was being pulled. Not only that, at this point they say the pain has numbed, but not gone away completely, so Aoba still feels a bit uncomfortable. And now he’s cutting the very reason why they met, and taking the utmost care not to hurt him.

He can finally hope for something more out of life than just stay there, staring from the distance, he can have some hope that his existence will be something else beyond being a broken puppet. And this is reflected in the Drama CD, when he tells Aoba that he wants to open his own shop. He is settling down, he is having plans for the future, for himself, and for Aoba, he is growing as a person and breaking free from his way of living, so irresponsible with his own well-being, irresponsible with his future. He didn't even see a future for himself before.

I also want to point out that the cherry tree doesn't appear at first. It's true that the illustration where he's cutting his hair should theoretically have happened before. I don't know exactly but I imagine it's just a promotional illustration that they've also included in the game, because the style of the render is different. That's why I believe it's good to think that it's an addition from later and that's why it doesn't appear in the CG. The cherry blossoms appear as a tree regardless, so it’s still there.

The thing is that this bonsai, of this particular flower, appears after cutting Aoba's hair, so it seems like an addition to the house after starting this new stage together, as a sign that the time Aoba spends with him is having an effect, an influence. Now there's not just one person living in that flat, but two, Aoba has practically moved in with Koujaku at this point.

The next flowers I want to talk about are the ones that appear on Aoba's clothes.

I don't know exactly what the round ones are supposed to be, but I've assumed they're daisies or gerberas. They are said to represent the love hidden in the heart, innocence, happiness and true affection. “I feel the same”. The simple beauty of a happy life.

As you can imagine, it's quite representative of his feelings for Koujaku. Similar to his friend, what Aoba felt for him wasn't just friendship since long before the events of the game. They had such a close friendship, for so long, trusting each other with everything (uh) that those feelings had slipped by. Aoba takes longer to realize it, but the way he talks about Koujaku, his reactions, how he describes his hands, it's not neutral at all. These are subtleties that for some may not mean anything, but he doesn’t talk like that easily. I have no doubt that they would have done much more than that if it weren't for the fact that it would be too obvious in the middle of the common route and there are more characters with a dedicated route.

Also next to the daisies there’s bush clover, with the same significance of hidden feelings as with Koujaku. Koujaku in this illustration also has the motifs of white hibiscus and blue leaves, but there is no bush clover. Once they confess their feelings, Koujaku no longer has anything to hide, and he isn’t embarrassed of being in a queer relationship. We will talk more about these two topics later.

The hanging flower is a wisteria. They are beautiful iconic flowers that symbolize youth, perseverance, sensuality, and long-lasting romance. “Drunk with love”, “Never leave”. Its length has made it associated with longevity, and it can be given to a married couple, for example, as a wish for a long-lasting marriage. In general the color purple is associated with spirituality, the white color of these flowers might also be related to nostalgic memories. Wisterias are sometimes seen as a symbol of longing, clinging, and loyalty, as their branches wrap tightly around themselves and other plants or structures like vines. Aoba has issues with abandonment and jealousy, and we see this expressed on several occasions, even though he is embarrassed by it. He has a heavy attachment to Koujaku, which we will also talk about more later.

This is the Kabuki play "Fuji Musume"

In short, Aoba's love for Koujaku is pure, long-lasting, and it’s been deep in his heart for years. He loves him devotedly, yes, just as I've always described Koujaku's obsession with him. I get the feeling that a lot of people aren't aware or don’t see that Aoba has the same level of infatuation as Koujaku, because it's the latter who usually makes the first move, and he's the one who says out loud that he's been in love for years. Since their story is so based on duality and mirroring each other, on how much Aoba and Koujaku are alike despite being so different, it’s easy to assume that one's feelings aren’t any less deep than the other and is pretty much deliberate.

[lordkuntfuck]

Okay as fucked up as this is gonna sound I need a scenerio where the 118 fail to save a child from a burning building, because it would royally fuck them all up and it would be, yes deverstating, but also really super interesting

Like first off you have Bobby, who, as we know, lost his own children to a fire. So just imagine how triggering it would be for him. Like I'd actually cry if I had to see him deal with not being able to save a child from a building fire again. But I'm a masochist, so I'd wanna see him fully spiral, like Athena has to smack the whisky bottle out of his hand to stop him relapsing kinda spiral

Then there's Chimney who hasn't actually been a father that long, like Jee-Yun is still really young, and now him and Maddie have got another kid on the way too. Like out of all the 118 he's the only one who hasn't lost a child and I think it would really mess up his perception of his own abilities to keep his kids safe. He also lost Kevin (and almost Albert) to fire so i think he would become extremely paranoid that like the universe is trying to tell him something.

Hen is difficult because I'm basing this off of the child dying in the fire and not for medical reasons (which i think would fuck her up more, like if the kid died because she couldn't administer care fast enough or something). But i think it would make sense if Hen was helping the parents of the kid when they recieve the news and I think having to keep treating them while their life is collapsing in on itself would destroy her just as much, and she'd blame herself for not being able to help more.

I think Eddie would completely shut down. Obviously this kid would remind him of Chris and if this is set while Chris is still in texas then Eddie isn't even able to go home and check that Chris is alright which would terrify him. But also on the way back to the station i think Eddie would be the only one not actively sobbing, like he'd be crying but in the sort of dissociative, not even realises hes crying, sort of way. I don't think he'd break down until he was at home by himself, looking around at his empty house, wishing he could just give his son a hug.

Then there's Buck. Buck would be inconsolable. I'm imaging it being him that found the kid but couldn't get to them in time (or something). He would never be able to forgive himself for not saving that child. The others would tell him it's not his fault but he just can't believe them. If only he'd done this, if only he'd don't that. It would consume him. I think he'd lose his sense of self, I love him but i wanna see him completely break.

It would have to be everyone helping each other, being there for each other. I think to begin with they'd all try to deal with it themselves but that was never going to work. Eventually they all band together be there for one another, so they can keep fighting, keep living, despite the trauma. Like they always do.

(I also think Maddie should be the one to take the call because holy shit that would be fucked up for her to deal with after everything she's been through)

[fieldofheathers-stuff]

The Silco Saga. A Retrospective After Season 2

Part 1.5: A brief intermission on The Flashback Issue™, (un)reliable narrators and Silco committing infanticide

Why the timeline isn’t fucked, actually

A common issue I see people have with Season 2 is that some of Vander’s backstory messes with the timeline established in Season 1. While it is true that Vander in the S1 flashback on the bridge appears to be significantly older than the Vander in Silco’s drowning flashback - implying that the two events took place years apart and not, as Vander’s letter says, one right after the other - I would like to offer an alternative reading on the S1 Day of Ashes scene, which in my opinion can be explained in a way that doesn’t necessarily mess with canon too much.*

Arcane S1 has a very interesting way of using flashback scenes, and POV shots in general: they are always firmly rooted in someone’s POV, but despite being subjective, we the audience are led to believe they are fairly reliable narrators. There’s only one person who’s shown as being consistently unreliable in their POV: Jinx (a choice which narratively makes sense, as she suffers from psychosis). Jinx is also, coincidentally, the person who’s POV we see in the Day of Ashes flashback. Now, this might veer into headcanon territory (which I’m OK with), but nonetheless, hear me out: is it really that far fetched to think that Jinx, being very young and in obvious distress, would misremember this event, and superimpose the face of the father she knows as an older child on that of his younger self? While I don’t mind people coming up with their own HCs on this event, I think that there’s a much simpler way to interpret this “incongruence”, which fits both the general canon narrative as well as a specific trait of Jinx’s POV.

*There’s obviously one reading of this incongruence between the designs of Day-of-Ashes-Vander and Drowning-Vander where this continuity mistake can be attributed to external reasons, such as the writers not having a clear idea of the backstory in S1 and later retconning in S2, which I don’t have a huge problem with either. It happens all the time. However, I find a possible in-story reason for this incongruence much more elegant and appealing.

Silco says ‘Fuck them kids’ (except Jinx)

Another complaint I have heard, which I personally find pretty funny all things considered, is that having Vander and Silco know Vi and Jinx’s mother (and, consequently, Vi and Jinx) before the betrayal “cheapens” their story in S1, and makes Silco’s intent to kill them in Arc 1 seem more unrealistic due to his previous connection with her mom. I find this logic quite baffling.

As I have already pointed out in my previous post on Silco’s relationship with Jinx, the main point of his self-asserted narrative is that he was essentially reborn as a new man after his own attempted murder by Vander, unburdened by the sentiment and affection his older self held for others. This belief Silco holds about himself is perfectly in line with his treatment of Vi and Jinx in the first arc of S1: he doesn’t care about them, and he’s perfectly willing to get rid of them if it serves his end, just as much as he’s perfectly OK with killing Vander, because those are connections that only his older self cared about, not the new, “updated and improved” Silco.

The only reason Jinx is saved from an unfortunate fate is that Silco, in a moment of weakness following an extremely stressful series of events, instinctively identifies with her; thus, he creates an unsolvable conflict between his need to uphold his own rebirth narrative (which is really nothing more than a dysfunctional coping mechanism) and this newly found but extremely powerful self-identification with this child. His adoption of Jinx is his own way of trying to have his cake and eat it too: he can still hold on to his ideology, while also offering some sort of comfort to this suffering child, which is actually himself, thus also reinforcing the idea that he is right.

There’s obviously no such ethical conundrum when it comes to his relationship with Vi in Arc 1. Silco quite clearly sees her only as a projection of Vander, an incarnation of his ideals, a continuation of his legacy best exemplified in her physical prowess as a fighter. And since his goal during Act 1 is to either convince Vander to work with him again, or get rid of him altogether, I don’t see how he shouldn’t apply the same logic to Vi. It doesn’t matter she’s an innocent bystander in his conflict with Vander, or the daughter of a former close friend. Silco, after his “rebirth”, is a man who is willing to see the world only within the black-and-white paradigm of his own narrative. Therefore, killing her is no big deal for him.

This indifference towards Vi then turns to visceral hatred in the following two arcs, as she becomes a double threat: a symbol of Vander and a wedge between him and Jinx, the only relationship he can't stand to lose. So yeah. Fuck them kids.

Flashbacks pt. 2: Kids don’t know shit

I think the general logic of “very young kids in Arcane don’t have reliable memories” can be used to explain why Jinx and Vi don’t seem to remember Silco pre-betrayal. First of all, while I keep harping on the fact that Silco’s narrative of dual identities is total bullshit, it doesn’t mean that pre-betrayal and post-betrayal Silco aren’t two very different people to an outsider’s perspective. The pre-betrayal Silco we see in Vander’s memories is humorous, gentle, soft, thoughtful. We do see some hints of an underlying grittier nature (his very serious tone before he subverts our expectations with the “Bozo 1” joke is a perfect example of him already knowing he can be very intimidating if he wants to), but he appears, to all intents and purposes, as a completely different man than his post-betrayal persona. There’s also the factor of physical disfigurement and change of look between pre- and post-drowning Silco which would seriously impact any ability of the girls to recognize him.

Another important factor to keep in mind is also that It’s made pretty clear in both S1 and S2 that the kids don’t know about Vander’s betrayal of Silco, and therefore probably have no idea why Uncle Sil didn’t show up at the Last Drop after the Day of Ashes. Even if Vi and Jinx were close to him pre-drowning (which we aren’t even sure of, since he doesn’t appear in any flashbacks with them as young children), they probably think he’s dead. It’s pretty obvious throughout S1 that both Vander and Silco have kept the whole drowning affair a secret, the first out of guilt and shame for his actions (which he spends the rest of his life trying, unsuccessfully, to repent from), the second because it would make him appear weak against his rival. Vander, when admonishing Vi about her willningess to use violence when fighting Piltover’s oppression, only vaguely hints at the reason why he thinks this approach is dangerous, mentioning how much Powder means to her and asking her what she would do if she lost her (a clear mirror to his own failure towards Silco, but Vi doesn’t know that). On a lighter note, when Ekko hilariously asks Best Timeline Silco, in S2ep7, “Didn’t you try to kill him?”, he’s clearly referring to Silco killing Vander, while both Silco and Vander interpret it as Vander killing Silco, making it for a very awkward interaction between the two.

(On a side note, I love Silco’s sappy “power to forgive” answer. Oh Best Timeline Silco, you softie. This is what having the Nation of Zaun and being gay married to your best friend does to a MF. )

It also kinda makes sense that Jinx, who eventually has a clearer picture of what happened between Silco and Vander, still doesn’t remember him as a part of her childhood. We are told several times that she has very few childhood memories of her family before the Day of Ash. It also makes sense that Silco wouldn’t mention Felicia or Connol to her. The Silco that knew them, after all, drowned in the Pilt the same day they died.

I think this also hints at the fact that Silco probably wasn’t very involved with the girls as kids, which, again, goes very well with his characterization as someone who cares more about The Revolution™ than about the individual people of Zaun. The flashback with Felicia gives us a hint that this was one of Silco’s characteristics even before the drowning: while Vander toasts about “raising an ankle-biter or two”, Silco only raises his glass “to the Nation of Zaun”. I don’t think these are just meant to be throwaway lines: they perfectly encapsulate their future priorities, with Vander dedicating himself to his mission of nurturing Zaun’s people to the point of giving up the fight, and Silco becoming such a radical that he completely looses sight of the people he’s fighting for. (They are both cringe boyfailures and I love them for that.)

[lost-in-fandoms]

Winter Warmers day 22: Gang Bang. You know who it is (garage 1 gang bang canon to me!). About 480 words.

Max is sore. He feels like after getting out of the car in a particularly hard race. He feels like he won that hard race, tired and deeply satisfied.

A sigh leaves his mouth as the hands gripping his hips squeeze a little, helping him settle better as he's absolutely no help in the process, staying boneless and with his eyes closed.

In his defense, his brain has gone very quiet a long time ago, probably somewhere around the second person coming down his throat, just as another one pushed into his hole, someone else petting his hair.

He lost track of time, and dicks, after that.

He had let them move him around, trusting them to keep him safe and treat him right, in the bedroom just as in the garage. He had let hands squeeze him, his ass, his thighs, his chest, his arms, worshipers and temporary kings all at once. He had let them pass him around, stuff cocks down his throat and in his ass, not even bothering opening his eyes, just taking whatever they were giving him, again and again, careful and caring without ever being tentative.

At some point someone had helped him hold his thighs closed tightly, someone's dick smearing lube between them as it slid in and out, someone else fucking him with harsh thrust that had made him choke on the cock in his mouth.

They had let him come too, obviously. Once, twice, three times. A fourth time completely dry, dick red and angry jerking untouched on his stomach, awed praise and curses filtering through the fog in his brain.

And then the last person had gathered him in his lap, chest against chest, as someone else had helped Max sit down on his cock, gently rocking his hips until he had been filled once again.

He was still sitting there, dick still inside him even if soft, because they knew he hated being empty after these things, just breathing, enjoying the satisfying soreness that came with being used like that.

Someone had cleaned cum, sweat and spit from his skin with a warm wet towel, a soft one brought by them, not the rougher ones provided by the hotel. Someone else had wiped the tear tracks from his cheeks, the sweat from his forehead, helping him hold his head up as a straw was brought to his lips.

And then they had let him be, mindlessly mouthing at the skin of the shoulder he was resting on, floating in the satisfaction of the after.

He can hear conversation around him, some soft music, and the steady breathing of the person holding him.

When he'll resurface, he knows he'll find them still there, waiting for him, helping him to the shower, and then to bed, but for now he's free to relax. His team is there, they are winners, they still have this, and everything is good.

[sadstrever]

ok i’m sorry i contemplated not posting this because it’s almost meanspo so just don’t read it if ur triggered. it’s also just bad advice, don’t starve yourself and don’t be an (vodka) alcoholic.please recover love you i guess

first off i wanna preface this by saying FUCK YOUUUUU. if ur a little fat baby piggy no friends bitch i don’t want ur advice or opinions on my alcohol consumption while i fast😭😋!!! i’ve lost like 40lbs since i’ve started being an alcoholic and it’s had absolutely no impact on my weight, cuz just to irritate for the 100th time on this account: I NEVER EAT HOE! anwyays sorry maybe i’m just too drunk but that really pissed me the fuck off. like GOD OKAY RUIN THAT FOR ME TOO. like ok i never get any calories in except for alc but sure fuck it yk, because YOU said that alc has calories(you don’t think i know that bro?) i’m just gonna suddenly stop being an alcoholic. and now i just feel like shit because i consume calories from alc and someone thinks thats a “judgey” thing to say to me. now i feel fat so thank you. like if i could stop drinking that easily i WOULD and if i could start eating without gaining weight every time i do I WOULD. ur so dumb. ugh. i hate myself i’m sorry i’m so mean i love you people and i hope ur healthy and happy. i just need to put my anger out on someone lol. BUT also genuinely liek you guys do piss me off tho cuz you think it’s some crazy impressive thing to not eat for a week or eat like a grape a day…like guys… it gets worse and you will see and you’re gonna hate ur life. if ur ed is at that point PLEASE RECOVER AND RECONSIDER IT GWTS SO MUCH WORSE UGH. AND NO ONES GONNA LISTEN BECAUSE I DIDNT EITHER. i want to save you guys so bad. like i hate that people still get to romanticize it without all the pain and suffering every single waking moment of the day. also i’m officially underweight so someone send me a 0 calorie cake in the mail😝🙏

anyways this is somehow too related and will sound so fake but i swear on my whole life and my mamas and my brothers and my papas this is a TRUE STORY!!! i saw an old friend today and the first thing they said was “oh my god you lost so much weight” “like ur arms, face, whole body damn” BASICALLY LIKE THAT OBVIOUSLY I DONT REMEMBER WORD FOR WORD. but bro i have never felt so fucking seen in my life. like finally someone besides my family or best friend noticed my weight loss damn. AND SHE ASKED IF SHE SHOULD BE WORRIED FUCKKKKK. like no you shouldn’t cuz i’m never gonna get better but like fuck thank you bro. no one comments on people’s weight anymore and it pisses me offfff like i know it’s rude but i needed that comment to make me wanna keep starving!

am i a piece of shit? like genuinely did the eating disorder make me a horrible evil miserable person? i have this thought that even if somehow i recover physically(i pray to god i never get fat[by my standards] again ) that i’ll never recover mentally. i’ll always have this fucked up judgement of right and wrong that revolves around the stupid idea of being thinner. does it even matter? no. no it doesn’t. but it’s my whole world. my whole world is how skinny i am and it’s so tiring. the highlight of my day was being called worryingly skinny by an old friend who doesn’t care if i live or die. the second highlight of my day was the fact that i got 28k steps and burning 800 calories at the gym and bought another bottle. i’m tired of being a bad person. im tired of being annoying and stupid and dumb. such a fuckup. i’m sorry if i’m a bad person and you had to read this and feel like shit because you had to sit through reading my awful terrible judgment and thoughts.

LAST POINT:

tomorrow i have to eat my first meal in months(for real this time) and i am so scared and upset. it’s like a piece of myself dies everytime i eat. without starvation i am nothing. i am a shell of a person and when i eat i just become a shell that feels fat. i’m gonna take laxatives obviously and do some workouts but it’s never enough. i’m gonna make sure the meal that i’m forced to eat is as low calorie as possible because i’ll be drinking alcohol too and APPARENTLY i should just kill myself because it’s a crime to still be an alcoholic when you’re starving yourself.

also alcohol most likely won’t make you gain weight unless it’s beer or seltzers and it especially won’t if ur always drinking on an empty stomach. vodka on an empty(for months) stomach plus working out excessively won’t make yoh gain weight. shut up shut up shut up shut THE FUCK up you bitches piss me off.

FUCK YOU.

[maudie-duan]

Series Summary: Harry has been fighting to keep his relationship with Olivia afloat for nearly two years. At what point do you choose to either endure or let the strain of the world defeat his ambitious hopes of a lasting relationship? Or will a single night and a fleeting encounter be enough to change the projection of Harry’s path? Maybe our ‘Mystery Girl,’ Shiloh, will just happen to be in the right place at the right time. 

A/N: Happy early weekend! There's something fucked about a drunk dial! hope you enjoy!!

Tag List: @howling-wolf97 @sassamanda77 @babegoalsreads @palmettogal508 @indierockgirrl

@lizsogolden @sexymfharriet @pologoonies

Word Count: 2.3K

Warning: Strong language, minor angst, eventual smut, emotional.

It’s sort of a dazed wonderment getting a call on the cusp of sleep. There’s always that disorienting split-second of—is this real or am I dreaming, but when you choose to answer, you’re taking that risk, right? I knew who it was before his deep voice even filled the line. His sister had given me his number as a “head-up” and asked if it was okay if he reached out for business. She didn’t want me caught off-guard if he called. 

She asked me if she could share my number with him. I thought it bold on his part—dangerous—I wondered how long he would sit with my number before he decided to call—deep down, I almost wished he would call. Maybe it would bring some clarity, maybe even answer the questions nagging at my brain, but there’s a reason they say, “Careful what you wish for…”

“Hello…?” he questions, followed by a muffled “damn…” That’s not as clear because I barely register what was said until I hear, “I think…” his mouth getting closer to the phone. 

There’s a delayed pause, and then the rasp of his voice is back, his thick accent falling heavy on my ear, “Think that’s right…hello?” He repeats, and I hold my breath.

The realization sends me into a silent panic, and I hesitate to say anything because I know that, without a doubt, we should not be talking, “Hi…” I say, weary to continue, because one, it’s late, and two, something about this feels unsettling. 

“Oh—thought it was still ringin’—"

“It’s Harry…obviously…you know from the photo—”

I cut him off, “yeah, I know—” I tell him, my voice firm. “What’s up?” I ask because I’m not sure why he’s calling, even though there are a million things I would love to say, I can’t. I know from experience that nothing good comes from a late-night call, and it’s almost 2 a.m.

“I think this is you…”

“Who?” I asked, wondering if he had called the wrong number. Then I thought it had to be intentional, and here’s where it got tricky—and dammit, there were already a million more questions threatening to send me down a spiral.

“You—because you’re Shi—Shiloh sounds like an “oh” at the end…”

“Harry, why are you calling?” I ask, trying to keep my voice calm.

“don’t know…it’s hard to tell—"

“Oh no—!” he says, and the excited jump in his voice makes my heart race, a cold sweat covering my palms—Is he alone? 

“What?” I question. 

“I think I’ve been found…” he starts. His boyish laugh perks up my ear, and I’m trying not to smile because I like this silly side of him.

“I think I’ve been—oh…I’ve been…”

“Caught—I’ve been caught by the cutest little kitty in the world…” he laughs, “kitty…kitty.” He’s meowing at the cat that I’m guessing might be in the room, and when I hear the cat respond, it’s confirmation that he’s not talking to another human, but why would I think that in the first place—Maybe I’m overthinking this. 

“Here…” his voice muffles, huffing a laugh into the phone, now sounding further away when he says, “I’m sending a picture…” 

There’s loud rustling on his end as he lets out a playful laugh, coaxing the kitty to look at the phone, “Okay...there…”

“Now tell me Shy—low…because my voice is low…” he says, pleased with his joke his voice going deeper.

“Tell me when you get it—”

Rolling my eyes, I pull the phone away from my ear, open the text from his number, and watch a video of the black cat appear, but I’m not looking at the cat. Instead, I’m scoping out the background, watching Harry’s reflection in a large decorative mirror propped against the wall. The giddy smile stretched across his face has me wide awake, smiling as I rewatch the short clip.

I switch the phone to speaker and sit up in bed, “I love black cats—“

“They’re so special…” he tells me, his voice so wholesome and adorable, and I know I don’t need to get sucked in, but I am.

“I’ve always wanted one…” I confess, smiling to myself, because it’s true.

“Well—this is my mums…” he tells me as I rewatch the video. He’s definitely drunk. The video itself is a shaky mess, and I can’t imagine that he would mean to send me a video of him shirtless in a pair of brown corduroys—they’re cute, and he’s cute, and fuck, how did I forget about all the tattoos?

“Your mom showed me pictures of her cats when we had lunch yesterday…” I tell him.

“Mmmm…you had lunch with my mum—”

“And your sister…” I add.

He blows a light laugh into my ear. “I’m jealous…” he says, his voice softening, like maybe he’s finally settling down. 

“I’m also tired...” he says, through a slow exhale, making me yawn.

“Long day?” I ask

“Long life—” he says with a half-hearted chuckle, and he sounds tired—there’s a lot to unpack with that statement alone, but I let it pass.

“Harry…”

“Shiloh…” he whispers, making my heart melt into a puddle.

“Why are you calling?” I whisper back.

“Don’t know—”

And just as I’m about to open my mouth, he says, “Wanted to hear your voice...” in that same soft tone.

We’re both quiet, but I’m at a loss for words, and all I can say is, “Harry…”

“Shiloh, I know…” he starts. “I’m bad…. shouldn’t be calling, right?”

“No…” I answer

“Tell me you felt it…” he asks, a faint plea resting between us, and it takes me by surprise because it’s gutsy, but isn’t that what alcohol is best for? 

“I don’t know, Harry…” 

“You’re so beautiful…and kind—”

“Harry…please…”

“No—I know your kind…I could hear it…in the podcast—god—you and my sister are friends—?” he asks, but it sounds more like a statement. 

“Yeah… she was my friend before this…” I tell him because this can’t be a thing and I’ll choose the friendship before I choose him.

“Before this…” he repeats. 

“Listen—” I say, and then he’s clipping me off.

“I know…I’m a bit tied up…I think—I don’t know anymore…” he says, and it’s confusing because I have no idea what that means.

“Then why did you call…?”

“I’m may—be a tiny bit hammered…” he trails off laughing, then, “It’s you, Shiloh—”

“You shouldn’t have called—”

“I know—I know…but tell me you didn’t want me to…” he says.

“Shiloh—tell me that you didn’t want me to call…” he repeats, a little more desperate, like he wants me to scold him, or maybe he wants me to get mad. I don’t know, but it’s making my stomach twist into a knot. 

“Just tell me—just tell me you didn’t feel anything...” he pleads, and now it’s clear what he’s wanting. He’s wanting me to convince him otherwise—how am I supposed to do that when I can’t even convince myself? 

“Harry, where’s your girlfriend?” I ask.

He lets out a long exhale, “Shiloh—just tell me…” he says softly.

The fact that he’s avoiding the question is making me upset. If you’re going to drunk dial me, at least be real, “Honestly—?” I ask

“Yes—yes…” he answers

“It’s kind of upsetting that you’re calling me drunk, Harry—”

“That’s not what this is…I don’t know—I wanted—” he’s stumbling over his words, and it’s beginning to frustrate me because this was already overwhelming, to begin with, and now he’s calling, and all I want is to talk to him, fill some of the longing that’s been lingering since the Gucci show. Tell him how I felt it then—I’m thinking it now—and how that show felt so long ago, but the pull was there. Would it freak him out if I was truly honest? Because that’s my reality. 

And then he says, “Honestly…” 

“Yes…” I breathe, choking on the word as it slips past my lips.

“I saw you from backstage at the Gucci show—”

“Harry…stop—” I tell him immediately because I know what he’s about to say, and it’s too fucking much—it’s too real, and there’s no fucking way, right? 

“I saw you sitting there…and I don’t know—all night I was just taken by you—and then the photoshoot—god Shiloh…the photoshoot…” his voice is so silky and genuine and I believe him because it’s exactly how I feel or felt—I don’t know anymore the line is becoming so blurry and as he continued, I sat there taken in each word one by one, trying to memorize them.

“The second you kiss my lips…please just tell me you felt it too?” he begs in a gentle whisper. 

“Because the days feel like a lifetime and all I can think about is you, Shiloh—and I’m sorry…maybe this isn’t fair—maybe I’m selfish…tell me I’m selfish—” and he chokes on the last line, breaking open a hollow in my chest that’s trying to swallow me whole because this is exactly what I wanted to hear—but it’s all wrong, none of this is right and I can’t stop thinking about his fucking girlfriend and that part hurts the most. 

“Please stop—” I plead, my throat burning with the effort. I don’t want to cry. I don’t want him to know I’m on the verge of crying.

“You felt it too?” he says, so delicately, so fucking sure of everything.

“Yes…” I whisper as the tears sting my eyes. 

“I’m sorry—” he tells me, “I’m sorry I’m like this—god—I’ve already fucked this one up, haven’t I?” 

“I just wish—” I say, biting back tears, but it’s no use as I draw in a deep breath through my nose, squeezing my eyes shut, and I let the silent tears break way.

“I know—” he says, “I know this isn’t fair…”

“I just wish you would have cared enough to wait…” My words come out as more of a plea, with him and with myself, because where is the respect? I’m worthy; I deserve better than a drunken confession that he may or may not remember in the morning. 

And I don’t even know why I continue, but I do, “Harry—I deserve better than a drunk dial…and god—you’re making me feel so stupid because you’re probably not even going to remember this—

“I will—” he attempts to say, but I’m still talking.

“Whatever I felt before, it was probably just a fluke, okay—

“It was real Shiloh—”

“If it was so real—then why are you doing this?” I force out, “I just wish you would have done this differently…”

“I know…” he whispers, “I’m sorry—please, Shiloh…please believe me…I don’t want to hurt you—”

“But you did—it hurts my feelings that you don’t think more of me. That I wasn’t worthy of the time this would have taken…and here I am trying to explain this to a drunk person who won’t remember this in the morning—” 

And I’m crying—I feel like a fool, crying over a guy that can’t even respect me enough to break up with his fucking girlfriend, “Listen, Harry—”

He doesn’t try to interrupt this time, and as I’m trying to gather my thoughts, I hear him sniffle, a slight murmur filling the line, and I pull the phone away, trying to stifle the sob bubbling up my chest. 

“I wanted to break up with her…” he says, sorrow coating the rasp of his voice, and there’s something childlike in the way he’s confessing his truths.

“I promise you, Shiloh—I did—I wanted to—it’s just—”

“I believe you…Harry…I really do. But it doesn’t change anything, does it? You’re still with her, right? I ask.

“Right…” 

There it was—the ugly truth lying lifeless between us—A mournful truth that he couldn’t take back nor could it be unforgiven—a heavy line we knew would mark our ending. The sad truth that we both would have to live with because I had to be true to myself. The truth is that I would have to let him go, starting right now. I needed to end this so we could both move on from whatever this is, was, or would have been. 

“I feel sad for us, Harry—”

“I’m sorry—”

“No…I’m sorry—but please don’t call me again.

“Shiloh—please—”

“No—Harry—please just don’t call me again, okay…I’m sorry—just please don’t—

“Shiloh—”

“I have to go, Harry…”

“Please…let me explain…”

“No—I have to go bye—”

“Shi—”

I hung up the phone, tossing it toward the foot of the bed, and burst into tears. It was weird because I knew this was going to hurt, but I didn’t think it would hurt like this—like a punch to the gut—a rug being ripped out from underneath my feet. I’ve been on my knees with it, consumed with the strange feelings for days, and now I’ll be crawling on all fours with the “what ifs” tempting my every thought. 

How long will it take to get over someone I don’t even know, someone I was basing on a feeling? But isn’t that how the heart works? 

Am I supposed to trust these feelings? Hold them as truths? Because now I’m lost in it, and I’ll cry myself to sleep, lying in a sea of his words floating around my mind, two ships passing in the night—and now this was his fault, his hell that we will live in, and I don’t think I can forgive him.

A/N: Damn Harry...did you just ruin everything before it could even begin??

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Tag list open!

[ineffectualdemon]

I think Yue Qingyuan does not prefer the new Shen Qingqiu

I think it breaks his heart every time they interact actually.

Because yeah he's easier to talk to and deal with and they aren't having an argument every 5 minutes

But Shen Yuan looks at him politely but distantly

He's fond but there is not substance behind it. The anger and the fighting was hard but it still showed that Shen Jiu felt strongly about Yue Qingyuan. Love and hate can feel so close they might be the same thing. And Xiao Jiu was always one to hide his real emotions behind harsh words

Yue Qingyuan still obviously cares about Shen Qingqiu but he's distant. He pulls back into a caring big brother. He visits but not too frequently.

During the meeting when they all talk about how something is up with Shen Qingqiu and agree he's better Yue Qingyuan disagrees.

He's glad his Shidi isn't in pain or suffering but he wants Shen Jiu back and says as much. Despite the confusion and shock of everyone else

Yue Qingyuan likes Shen Yuan but if Shen Jiu suddenly came back in like another body Yue Qingyuan would push Shen Yuan over into the mud to get to Shen Jiu

But I don't think Shen Yuan would understand that necessarily

do you guys wonder what shen jiu would think seeing everyone liking shen yuan better than himself? even yue qingyuan? being almost glad he's "better" now that he no longer acts like himself?

because sometimes i do

[mohntilyet]

Wait is the middle picture from those three sketches that one scene from the wigmaker job?

yes! it's this specific passage where lucanis is just seething with rage and trying to keep a lid on it, and illario's a stablising, comforting presence. BROTHERS!!!!! <3 though i chose to draw his hand on his shoulder rather than his arm i guess. artistic liberty!

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

Never seen a homoerotic rivalry I wouldn’t ship.

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance Items - Drop-Me-Not + Drop-Me-Never

[aflockofravens]

Ah fuck, I need a Parent Trap style SatoSugu fic now.

Please someone already have written this because I don't have the bandwidth for this in my brain and I can already feel it taking root

SatoSugu thoughts… probably done before but

What if right after Gojo adopts Megumi and Tsumiki. They end up meeting Mimiko and Nanako somehow, and they both end up figuring out that both their dads used to be in love with each other (and still are). So they come up with plans for them to end up seeing each other again like.

“Tell me why we have to go 3 hours into the city, just for… cream puffs?” Geto huffed, but he still let himself get dragged by Mimiko and Nanako anyway. Always giving into the whims of his daughter once they gang up on him with duel puppy dog eyes.

“Causeeeeeeee this shop is special!” Nanako puff her cheeks out, pulling on Geto’s wrist. Her twin sister just nods in agreement. Geto sighs once again but smiles at them. “Alright, alright, we buy two boxes and then we have to go, ok?”

The twins gave each other a look before looking back at Geto with grins plastered on both their faces. Geto knows that look, he know it means trouble but before he could say anything they reached the Cream Puff Shop and the girls ran off.

“Hey wait!”

Geto ran after them, not trusting the monkeys around here to not hurt his girls. That when he heard a familiar voice as a young dark hair boy ran past. “Megumi! Where are you goin!”

Crash

A body crashed into Geto, knocking him back but the stranger managed to catch him by the waist before he could fall. A scent waft pass his nose, minty and saccharine… He blinks his eyes open to find icy blue ones staring back.

“Suguru…”

“Satoru…”

Behind some bushes, the children were high-fiving each other and giggling.