#because she totally is
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pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual
im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out
#like im asexual its def not gonna be like that for me#but she still thinks it is soo#but like. cuddling can totally be platonic there doesnt gotta be such a fuss abt it 😭#i get her pov but c'mon#asexual#aromantic#<- for reach#edit: ...its censored because i want to btw#like. ik im in the horniest social media but i wanna censor it so i do#ik i wont get shadowbanned like in tiktok lmao#im not even in tiktok......😭#so yup i censored it for my own comfort 💯 hope this answered your questions pls shut up now lmaooo
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"How intriguing."
I'll admit that I startled a bit when I first heard the voice. It wasn't a harsh voice or anything, quite the opposite in fact, it had that smooth and mellow quality of an old-timey radio dj. But as I was theoretically the only one here, the fact that I heard a voice at all kinda made me jump a little, you know? And despite how pleasant and calming the voice sounded, after last night's adventures in trying to find the bathroom and then the door to my bedroom not being there anymore when I got out, I wasn't in any mood to be calmed.
"Oh, are you the one fucking with the doors?" I was probably just going nuts, but arguing with my own imagination wasn't exactly new ground for me anyway. I finished slurping down the milk from my cereal and flippantly fired back, "I need back into the bedroom so I can get changed for work. Mind putting that back where I left it? Thanks."
"None before have seen a fourth sunrise within our walls without succumbing to madness." The voice kept talking...which was a bit more surprising since when my imagination argues back it isn't usually audible. And it sounded like it was coming from the sink right behind me...but I refused to turn around.
I also didn't bother answering it. Couldn't spend the morning arguing with myself and risk being late. Not when I knew my manager was just looking for a legal excuse to fire me. Even with the rent as cheap as this place was, I had other bills to pay. Couldn't lose another job. Just go get changed and leave.
But when I finished plodding my way up the stairs to hopefully find my bedroom door where it was supposed to be...there was no hallway. It wasn't just the wrong hallway, that had happened a few times and I just kind of ignored it. This time there wasn't anything there at all. Nothing. No hall, no door, no room. The stairs ended in a goddamned wall.
I punched the goddamned wall. My fist made the right sound, my hand hurt as expected(this wasn't my first adventure in wall punching, I knew what the intersection of fist and wall felt and sounded like).
I looked back down. I was still at the top of the stairs. The livingroom was still down there where it was supposed to be. I turned back to the wall in front of me. Still there. Still a wall.
Huh. There's no way I was imagining this. Not sure if that made it better or worse.
I sat down on the top step, my back to the still very present and solid wall that was not supposed to be there, and addressed this mysterious voice, "Look, I can't go to work wearing my underwear and a ratty old shirt with more holes in it than a bowl of cheerios, alright? So if you want to talk about my descent into madness, we can do that after my shift because right now I need to get fucking dressed so I can afford to buy my meds tomorrow. So I'm gonna stand up, and this goddamned wall is going to be gone, and the goddamned hall that's supposed to be here will have my bedroom door in it." That's where my words stumbled a bit because I had no idea what to threaten a disembodied voice with so I just let it drop and hoped the point got across.
There was silence for a moment...I almost worried I had just been imagining things despite the feeling of the wall behind me, but then the voice returned. Again...right fucking behind me, like it was coming out of the wall.
"Is that the secret to your will? A dedication to your work, an ambition to succeed so powerful it eclipses all fear?"
Ambition? Dedication? I wanted to laugh, but honestly right now I was just too pissy. Slamming my elbow back into the wall, I snipped out, "what part of 'we can talk about it after my shift' was unclear? Give me back my fucking clothes you dumbass demon house!"
The voice suddenly sounded actually affronted, "We have not taken your clothing. We have never once interfered with your belongings."
I slammed my elbow back into the wall again, "well if you haven't taken them, why can't I get to them, huh? Oh no, you didn't ~take~ them," my own voice was starting to slip from anger, which only pissed me off more, "you've just taken away my ability to get to them which is totally different...except that it's not any fucking different at all! I want to change my clothes, but I can't because YOU aren't letting me get to them, therefor YOU have TAKEN my CLOTHES!"
As I was yelling at the house around me, I stood up and glared at the offending wall. And right in front of my eyes...the wall faded away. The hallway was there. There was...exactly one door in the entire hallway this time.
Refusing to let any shock at all of this show, I marched my way right to the door, threw it open...and saw my bedroom exactly as I had left it the night before. "Thank you," I forced out a very clipped thanks to the voice and also forced myself to not think about the fact that whatever it was could probably watch me change.
I brushed my hair, got dressed for work in record time, and got myself to the front door before turning around to face the inside of the house to address the voice one more time, "we can talk about what the hell you are and what you want from me and why I'm even here when I get back, alright?"
The house you just rented is beyond compensation - staircases and extra floors coming and going, rooms rotating and changing places. You just ignore it. On the fourth day, the eldritch horror informs you that you are the first to stay inside it for more than 72 hours without going insane.
#writing prompts#saika writes#may continue this later#did I make it obvious enough that the MC is trans?#because she totally is#capitalism is the real eldritch horror
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A Chaggie moment during reconstruction of the hotel 🏨🎀🌈💞
#chaggie you will always be famous#Charlie is singing ‘s*x with me’ by Rihanna#because I think she totally would lolll#hazbin hotel#my doods#hazbin hotel fanart#chaggie#charlie morningstar#Vaggie#hazbin hotel comic#suggestive#liked by ad
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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do you ever think that the ending of six hundred strike, actually added to the poseidon & athena beef? like i can just imagine them both in beds in apollo's olympus infirmary, just arguing with/at each other! meanwhile poor apollo is just tying to heal them both.
athena: *ranting* i've been odysseus' mentor/friend since he was a teenager! and he still didn't listen to me!
athena: i told him to put his emotions aside but noooooo, he had to let the cyclops live!
apollo: athen-
poseidon: are you forgetting he literally stabbed me? repeateDLY? WITH MY OWN TRIDENT?
apollo: poseid-
athena: *ignoring poseidon and continuing her rant* ruTHlesNEsS iS meRCy UpOn OUrseLVEs. isn't that what you said?!
poseidon: well yeah, BUT HOW WAS I TO EXPECT THAT SAD WET CAT OF A MAN WOULD BE FILLED WITH SOME FORM OF DIVINE RAGE?
apollo: please you two are gonna open your stitche-
athena: oh you deserved it. you literally showed the man his island before trapping him AND THEN you started THREATENING his wife and son? oh that was your final mistake.
poseidon: whatever! so much for you calling him a warrior of the mind. he's a monster!
athena: *wipes tear away* i know, im so proud.
apollo: *tired of their bickering & now glowing in anger* please for "dad's"sake will you two just shut up and let me heal you both?!
poseidon & athena: *shuts up immediately* o-ok
#apollo is done with the both of them#hermes was the one who filled athena in on what went down after god games#but to cause chaos he was also the one who transported poseidon to apollos infirmary#listen he loves drama#also ares somewhere on olympus sneezes when poseidon bring up the divine rage ody#because i believe he totally lent ody his power to kick his uncles butt#his sister couldn't help him so he did#she did also promise him bloodshed#even if it means it was his uncle‘s#just you wait until ody reaches the suitors ares#you'll be kicking your legs and giggling in happiness#athena epic#poseidon epic#apollo epic the musical#epic the vengeance saga spoilers#epic the musical spoilers#epic the vengeance saga#epic the musical#crack
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long distance is hard :/
#pathetic girls in love :)#people make nami too serious and i think its because shes always dealing with luffy#but shes a silly girl at heart!!!#silly girl nami supremacy#also vivi people make too! meek!#shes lovely and kind but shes also a total badass#she tried to blow up laboon? she was part of a bounty hunter organisation?#come onnn shes both lovely and kind and also#slightly insane#future strawhat material prehaps????#everyone pray#anyway rant over!#namivivi#navivi#vivi x nami#vivi one piece#nami#one piece#usopp#fanart#artists on tumblr#ely's art
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sorry but i am very interested in piercings. also you can put in the tags how many total you have if you want
#the process and healing of the piercing is what is most interesting to me. because of the autism.#i do not make polls usually but i would like to know this. i have 6 btw.#7 total but my helix is still healing (she is healing really well surprisingly)#poll
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Her Astrophel and Sterling
hmmm
Hmmmmmmmm
You know what.
You know those AU's where the Batfam finds or learns about either hidden or thought to be dead Al Ghul Danny! with a deaged/daughter Dani (Ellie) (I should know, I created a few of those storylines) but what if, now hear me out, what if instead of them finding Danny first its Talia.
Do I want Talia discovering her thought to be dead son to be alive? Yes. Do I want her to find him while investigating Amity Park when the League gets reports of 'Lazarus creatures/water'? Yes.
DO I WANT HER TO KNOCK ON THE FENTON'S DOOR, fully ready to pretend/honey talk her way into the house to uncover what the Fenton's know, ONLY TO MEET A LITTLE ELLIE?!
YES.
Ellie whose eyes and hair look like a copy of her Beloved but she can see bits and pieces of herself as well. Talia knows the child in front of her was not fully her's though but everything makes sense when she hears a voice, a voice she hasn't heard in ages but as a mother just knows, speak out.
"Ellie! I thought I said do not answer the door my Sterling."
"But Daddy, yous was busy fighting the hotdoggys!"
Talia's eyes widen when she finally catches sight of familiar black hair and blue eyes.
and she could only lightly whisper a old nickname she hasn't dared uttered in ages, a name she secretly gave her son due to his love of the stars "Astrophel..."
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#good mom Talia?#Good mom Talia. Yes#Astrophel means Star Lover btw#Sterling means Little Star or Excellent#Deaged Ellie#Deaged Dani#Danny either faked his death or got yeet from the Pits to Amity#does he remember? Idk leaving it open ended#if he does remember he chose not to return cause he knew he'd be punished#Talia comes to Amity after so many years because the League finally got reports of 'Lazarus' like creatures/waters being used/seen#Is she League leader now? Idk again leaving it open ended for anyone to play with#does she kept it a secret when talks to Danny about everything? I think so if he asks her not to say anything#Talia is happy to see her son again after so long. She isnt happy about how Ellie came into his life but is happy to have a granddaughter#she totally holds Ellie everytime she visits and promises to teach her how to make the world fall into her chubby little hands#Ellie loves her Granmama Talia cause she tells stories of all the places she's been#Eventually though I can see someone. Maybe Damian or Bruce. Needing to speak with Talia about something#and they track her down when she's on a visit to Danny and Ellie. And well the secret is out.#dani phantom#danielle phantom#Dani is Ellie
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The way Luz's thank you drawing got rejected by the person it was for when she thought she finally found someone who wouldn't make fun of her for her eccentric behavior, that she is worthless..and then the drawing does get recognized, that it's beautiful and why would it get thrown away. She was finally understood (I am in shambles help-)
#My post#The Owl House#Luz Noceda#I have so many thoughts about this pilot I might make another post down the line#But this. Holy shit it got me good-#She thought she finally found someone who'll understand her considering they seemingly stood up for her#And it absolutely gets her; the way her eyes sparkle because she believes she won't be totally alone anymore#But no. She also makes fun of Luz for trying to show her way of thanks#But then Luz does find someone who actually understands; an outcast like her#(New tag but I just realized Amity said that the drawing was beautiful but in a half-assed tone meanwhile Eda means it genuinely aaaaaaaa-)
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Meta Jazz, the Arkham Intern Therapist Pt1
Update 5/16/2024: Congrats guys, gals, and others! You have planted the seeds and they have grown. Today I wrote another 46 pages on this story (the first section was only 9 pages ya'll). I'm working on splitting it up into smaller sections so I can post it now because tumblr said no to doing it as one piece. I'll be using the tag #Meta Jazz Arkham Intern Therapist if you want to follow it.
Original Note: I'm going to go ahead and apologize for how OOC Bane is in this. It originally was Joker but I couldn't see Jazz tolerating his proximity for more than a single millisecond so Bane it is.
~*~*~
The hardest thing about being a Meta in Gotham was responding appropriately during a Rouge's attack, Jazz mused to herself. Or perhaps that was just the hardest part about being a Meta intern at Arkham while studying psychology at Gotham University. Or maybe it was just her, she considered watching the guards and Dr. Rylie whom she'd been shadowing for the past 2 weeks wide eyed, pale, and shaking as theybstared at Bane behind her. It must just be her, Jazz decided, newbie guard Kyle Jennings was definitely a Meta after all. She should probably give him some tips on hiding his enhanced strength considering how often he broke mugs, door handles, and other delicate items used in daily life.
"Weapons down or I'll snap her skinny little neck." Bane growled out, shaking her slightly for emphasis. She very much doubted that. Liminials were built different than the standard Meta, stronger, faster, better endurance, and senses even if they could mostly appear to be standard humans on the outside. As such, their bones and muscles were much were much denser than regular humans or even Meta humans. Technically, she could be considered "invulnerable" much like the Kryptonians are.
"Back up! Let him through!" Dr. Rylie shouted at the guards. "She's my student! Let him through!" His voice was higher pitched than she could recall hearing it before.
Ah. That was panic.
Jazz sighed involuntarily and glanced over her shoulder at Bane. Why the man had grabbed the only person close to his own height nearby was a mystery to her - no, nevermind, he clearly meant to use her as a shield - but it made looking him in the eye more difficult than necessary.
"Mr. Bane, remove your hands from my person, please." Jazz stated calmly, channeling what Danny called her inner mom as she spoke. "I will give you to one to comply."
Bane looked stunned for a moment then laughed.
"Five."
The laughing continued. Jazz could sense a stir of uncertainty through her colleagues as they looked on.
"Four."
"Did you really think that would work?" Bane snorted out, arms tensing more around her.
"Three." She continued, indifferent to his words from her experiences raising her brother. Once the count down starts you mustn't respond to anything the kids do or say until they comply or the count is done.
"What cab you even do if I don't?" Bane asked darkly breathing directly in her ear. She kept her face expressionless despite the urge to express disgust.
"Two."
"Jasmine..." Kyle whispered halfway across the hall from her looking on with a pained and horrified expression. Gun tilting towards the floor. Sloppy.
"One." She finished and Bane gave a derisive snort.
Then she was moving. Hauling the enormous man up and over her shoulder using the arm that had been wrapped around her neck. Bane hit the cold tile hard enough that the tiles, subfloor, structural supports, and part of the concrete foundation buckled beneath him. His shoulder popped out of joint, his wrist cracked - a hairline fracture by the sound of it - and his breath was punched out of him from the force of impact. She released his arm as soon as his was embedded in the tiles and moved forward. Kneeling over him, support most of her weight on her left foot resting on the broken ground, her right knees pressed firmly across his throat without supporting any of her weight. The position put more strain on her muscles than she would've liked but at least Bane couldn't risk fighting back without crushing his own neck in the process. He could hardly throw her while flat on his back with a mangled arm.
"Now," Jazz began, looking directly into the behemoth's pained eyes. "Do you know what you've done wrong?" She asked like she would have done with Danny as a child.
"Yes, Ma'am." Bane choked out. Jazz heard movement and murmuring behind her. She didn't turn to look.
"What did you do wrong?" She asked. It was important to make sure children correctly understood why they were in trouble after all. There was a long pause as Bane appeared to cast around for the exact right answer as if he feared getting it wrong. A bad habit Danny still uses as well, Jazz thought to herself.
"I tried to hold you hostage," He choked out in a rush, words tumbling over one another as he tried to get them all out. "I scared you coworkers and it was very disrespectful."
So he'd gone for the grab-bag response. It wasn't wrong per sey but it did indicate a past history of abuse. The type of answer given by someone who expected to be harmed or ignored if they gave the "wrong" answer. Danny tended to use that method also and their parents had always been negligent at best.
"And are you going to do it again?" She asked giving him a Look as she did. Bane's eyes widened and he tried to frantically shake his head as much as possible with the pressure on his neck.
"No, Ma'am." He promised fervently.
"Alright then," Jazz said giving him a warm smile. She gestured vaguely towards the guards without turning to look at them. "Kyle here is going to take you to see the nurse and then back to your room then. I'm sure you'll behave for him?"
"Yes, Ma'am. I'll behave." Bane said. Jazz stood slowly asking sure not to put any additional pressure on his neck as she did. Kyle came and stood next to her as the giant of a man slowly pulled himself to his feet then led him away with 5 other guards.
Jazz heaved a sigh. Well, time to find out whether or not she could play all that off as normal, non-Meta human behavior.
#dcxdp#dc x dp#dpxdc#dp x dc#jazz fenton#bane#arkham asylum#BAMF Jazz#Jazz is Danny's Mom#You cannot tell me that she didn't start viewing nearly every male around her as a child automatically after a life with Jack Danny and Vla#Feel free to add on#I was going to have one of the batkids show up toward the end#But it didn't have the same impact#And I don't think the guards had time to sound the alarm#Bane just got cleared from medical#Not even to his cell yet when he pulled this#Legit only tried because 'hey she's tall enough to be a human shield'#It was a bad decision lmao#Ngl Jazz's midwestern sensibilities would totally tell her Joker is a mad dog that needs to be put down#But I may be projecting#Meta Jazz#Arkham Intern Therapist#Meta Jazz AIT#MTAIT#AIT#Meta Jazz Arkham Intern Therapist#my original post#Because I reblog so much I now need that tag. lol
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would you believe me if i said that weave is way in over their head
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"I don't know who I want to be, anymore."
Oc - Cirque | The Dragon Chosen by the Shadows |
| mary oliver / franz wright / chelsea dingman / mary oliver / sue zhao / can't find :( / can't find :( / i am a dog. i have blood all over my teeth. - sciencedfiction / little weirds - jenny slate / the unabridged journals of sylvia |
#RAHHH guys I'm so crazy about her you all should totally ask me about her lore#web weave#webweave#webweaving#web weaving#oc webweave#oc web weave#oc - Cirque#definitely NOT the only webweave ill be making for her#still getting the hang of making these... gonna try to make some more for specific times in her life rather than just jumping around#on love#on longing#on grief#guys i love her shes so fun to squish#making these oc webweaves is so fun because i get to talk about them. also it helps me flesh out their characters#i need a tag for this specific universe of ocs lol#writing a book about them so i guess when i draft up some titles for that book ill use that for them#my webs#alt text
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Tim Drake Accidentally Takes Over the World (and Didn’t Think to Mention It)
So, Janet somehow spent decades climbing her way into every government worth a damn, ruling the entire world from behind the scenes. And then, because the universe is apparently wild, she left it all to Tim.
Cut to Tim Drake, the brand-new, completely reluctant secret ruler of the entire planet. And he just… never really thought it was worth mentioning?
The Batfam finds out when Bruce stumbles across an encrypted memo traced to a mysterious Gotham office with Tim’s name on it.
Bruce, holding up the memo: “Tim. Want to explain why this document about, oh, international finance reforms is signed with your encryption key?”
Tim, not even looking up from his laptop: “Oh, yeah. That. Janet left me her ‘global influence portfolio’ or whatever. Mostly paperwork.”
The Batfam stares in total shock.
Dick sputters nearly dropping his coffee: "Wait—you’ve been managing world policies?!”
Tim, shrugging, barely paying attention as he emails the president of Germany: “Well, yeah. I figured someone had to keep things running. It's not that big a deal. I mostly just redirect some policies. You know, keep things running smoothly.”
Jason, absolutely cackling: “Are you telling me that little Replacement here is the reason for half the ‘global cooperation’ headlines?”
Tim, scrolling through emails: “They send me reports; I send suggestions. And honestly, they make it way more dramatic than it is. It's not that hard."
Barbara stares at him, half horrified, half impressed. “How did we not notice this?”
Tim blinks. “I mean, it’s not like I was actively hiding it. I assumed you guys knew I was… kind of managing these things?”
Cue utter disbelief.
Stephanie, laughing too hard to breathe: “Tim, do you have world leaders on speed dial?”
Tim, completely unfazed: “Only the important ones. They text, mostly. Oh—by the way, I might’ve influenced a minor arms control thing last week. Don’t worry; it’s all sorted.”
Bruce, looking like he’s two seconds from fainting: “Sorted? Tim, we're talking about you having global authority here. People notice these things."
Tim shrugs again as his phone buzzes with notifications. “Sure, but it’s not like they’re going to do anything too crazy. I just suggest stuff, and they listen. Honestly, it’s like herding really powerful, really overdramatic cats.”
Damian, scandalized: “You mean to tell me, Drake, that you’re manipulating world politics like it’s a game of checkers?”
Tim, still casual: “Manipulating’s a strong word. Like I said, it’s more just nudging things along.” His phone buzzes again. “Oh, hang on. France is panicking about their energy policy again.”
The Batfam tries to process the fact that Tim—Tim, who routinely forgets what day it is—is now, somehow, running the world.
And then his phone buzzes with a message from the UN Security Council.
Tim sighs, glancing down. “Oh, great. Looks like they’re debating nuclear arms again. Be right back.”
Meanwhile, the Batfam is left absolutely speechless, processing the fact that their Tim—scrawny, coffee-fueled Tim—is apparently one of the most powerful people on the planet. And to him its just another tuesday.
#tim drake#batfam#tim accidentally becomes the most influential person in the world and its not even his fault#janet was totally paranoid ant who knows what and knew she had to get herself involved with any politics she could#somehow this means she ends up becoming some kind of consultant that all the governments go to for any advice#tim just doesn't care because it means more paperwork for him#tim learned everything he knows from janet herself so when she dies they all do what she wrote in her will and go to her son instead#batfam in absolute disbelief#how did none of them realize?!#tbf i dont think its something anyone would realize unless they were out right told#tim drake ruling the world
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It's always been intriguing to me that, even when Elizabeth hates Darcy and thinks he's genuinely a monstrous, predatory human being, she does not ever perceive him as sexually predatory. In fact, literally no one in the novel suggests or believes he is sexually dangerous at any point. There's not the slightest hint of that as a factor in the rumors surrounding him, even though eighteenth-century fiction writers very often linked masculine villainy to a possibility of sexual predation in the subtext or just text*. Austen herself does this over and over when it comes to the true villains of her novels.
Even as a supposed villain, though, Darcy is broadly understood to be predatory and callous towards men who are weaker than him in status, power, and personality—with no real hint of sexual threat about it at all (certainly none towards women). Darcy's "villainy" is overwhelmingly about abusing his socioeconomic power over other men, like Wickham and Bingley. This can have secondhand effects on women's lives, but as collateral damage. Nobody thinks he's targeting women.
In addition, Elizabeth's interpretations of Darcy in the first half of the book tend to involve associating him with relatively prestigious women by contrast to the men in his life (he's seen as extremely dissimilar from his male friends and, as a villain, from his father). So Elizabeth understands Darcy-as-villain not in terms of the popular, often very sexualized images of masculine villainy at the time, but in terms of rich women she personally despises like Caroline Bingley and Lady Catherine de Bourgh (and even Georgiana Darcy; Elizabeth assumes a lot about Georgiana in service of her hatred of Darcy before ever meeting her).
The only people in Elizabeth's own community who side with Darcy at this time are, interestingly, both women, and likely the highest-status unmarried women in her community: Charlotte Lucas and Jane Bennet. Both have some temperamental affinities with Darcy, and while it's not clear if he recognizes this, he quietly approves of them without even knowing they've been sticking up for him behind the scenes.
This concept of Darcy-as-villain is not just Elizabeth's, either. Darcy is never seen by anyone as a sexual threat no matter how "bad" he's supposed to be. No one is concerned about any danger he might pose to their daughters or sisters. Kitty is afraid of him, but because she's easily intimidated rather than any sense of actual peril. Even another man, Mr Bennet, seems genuinely surprised to discover late in the novel that Darcy experiences attraction to anything other than his own ego.
I was thinking about this because of how often the concept of Darcy as an anti-hero before Elizabeth "fixes him" seems caught up in a hypermasculine, sexually dangerous, bad boy image of him that even people who actively hate him in the novel never subscribe to or remotely imply. Wickham doesn't suggest anything of the kind, Elizabeth doesn't, the various gossips of Meryton don't, Mr Bennet and the Gardiners don't, nobody does. If anything, he's perceived as cold and sexless.
Wickham in particular defines Darcy's villainy in opposition to the patriarchal ideal his father represented. Wickham's version of their history works to link Darcy to Lady Anne, Lady Catherine (primarily), and Georgiana rather than any kind of masculine sexuality. This version of Darcy is a villain who colludes with unsympathetic high-status women to harm men of less power than themselves, but villain!Darcy poses no direct threat to women of any kind.
It's always seemed to me that there's a very strong tendency among fans and academics to frame Darcy as this ultra-gendered figure with some kind of sexual menace going on, textually or subtextually. He's so often understood entirely in terms of masculinity and sexual desire, with his flaws closely tied to both (whether those flaws are his real ones, exaggerated, or entirely manufactured). Yet that doesn't seem to be his vibe to other characters in the story. There's a level at which he does not register to other characters as highly masculine in his affiliations, highly sexual, or in general as at all unsafe** to be around, even when they think he's a monster. And I kind of feel like this makes the revelations of his actual decency all along and his full-on heroism later easier to accept in the end.
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*The incompetently awful villain(?) in Sanditon, for instance, imagines himself another Lovelace (a reference to the famous rapist-villain of Samuel Richardson's Clarissa). Evelina's sheltered education and lack of protectors makes her vulnerable to sexual exploitation in Frances Burney's Evelina, though she ultimately manages to avoid it. There's frequently an element of sexual predation in Gothic novels even of very different kinds (e.g. Ann Radcliffe's The Mysteries of Udolpho and Matthew Lewis's The Monk both lean into this, in their wildly dissimilar styles). William Godwin's novel Caleb Williams, a book mostly about the destructive evils of class hierarchies and landowning classes specifically, depicts the mutual obsession of the genteel villain Falkland and working class hero Caleb in notoriously homoerotic terms (Godwin himself added a preface in 1832 saying, "Falkland was my Bluebeard, who had perpetrated atrocious crimes ... Caleb Williams was the wife"). This list could go on for a very long time.
**Darcy is also not usually perceived by other characters as a particularly sexual, highly masculine person in a safe way, either, even once his true character is known. Elizabeth emphasizes the resilience of Darcy's love for her more than the passionate intensity they both evidently feel; in the later book, she does sometimes makes assumptions about his true feelings or intentions based on his gender, but these assumptions are pretty much invariably shown to be wrong. In general the cast is completely oblivious to the attraction he does feel; even Charlotte, who wonders about something in that quarter, ends up doubting her own suspicions and wonders if he's just very absent-minded.
The novel emphasizes that he is physically attractive, but it goes to pains to distinguish this from Wickham's sex appeal or the charisma of a Bingley or Fitzwilliam. Mr Bennet (as mentioned above) seems to have assumed Darcy is functionally asexual, insofar as he has a concept of that. Most of the fandom-beloved moments in which Darcy is framed as highly sexual, or where he himself is sexualized for the audience, are very significantly changed in adaptation or just invented altogether for the adaptations they appear in. Darcy watching Elizabeth after his bath in the 1995 is invented for that version, him snapping at Elizabeth in their debates out of UST is a persistent change from his smiling banter with her in the book, the fencing to purge his feelings is invented, the pond swim/wet shirt is invented. In the 2005 P&P, the instant reaction to Elizabeth is invented, the hand flex of repressed passion is invented, the Netherfield Ball dance as anything but an exercise in mutual frustration is invented, the near-kiss after the proposal in invented, etc. And in those as well, he's never presented as sexually predatory, not even as a "villain."
#self-indulgently long tangents even for me but i had Thoughts!#i almost appended a third footnote to the second footnote. rip#anghraine babbles#long post#fitzwilliam darcy#lady anne blogging#austen blogging#austen fanwank#ivory tower blogging#anghraine's meta#eighteenth century blogging#gender blogging#i do think it's interesting that associating his flaws with lady catherine's is honestly fair - she comes to wonder about this later#but lbr that is totally understandable! lady catherine is the awful parody version of him!#but the times when elizabeth's assumptions are highly inflected by Yes All Men Actually generalizations she's utterly wrong#it's not some horrible misdeed but it's not really fair#not because she's oppressing him (lmao) but because people don't work that way#not saying that p&p is some huge blow against gender essentialism but i do think it's FAR less friendly to it than its fans are
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"milsiril is an evil manipulative puppet master who wants to control other characters as if they were her dolls"
bro. look @ her... shes literally just here playinge with her tuoys.
#eliot posts#dunme#dungeon meshi#dm spoilers#dungeon meshi spoilers#milsiril#milsiril of the house of tol#i love you woman with problems#i love you woman with totally different problems than what half of the fandom thinks you have#also kind of funny that both the fandom and other elves in-universe assume that she's like creepy and evil because of her dolls
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