dangerousskeletoncoptree

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

say something funny

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

Was anyone going to fucking tell me that electric eels have their anus directly under their heads because their head is basically their entire main body and they're actually like 90% tail

Or was I just supposed to casually stumble across that information

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

I just found out that my mom had me in a Montessori type shit experimental school as a kid this explains so much

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

Her name was Nao and she was feeling sea sick but also really sad because she was headed back to college which was far away from her home...My japanese isn't very good...

I sat with her for a while and ended up asking a staff member for help. It was really bad weather that day, the sea was choppy so that was making her sea sickness worse...It was raining heavily with strong winds, and the staff member suggested she went out on the deck of the boat for some fresh air but it was TERRIBLE weather out there so I went with her. she ended up feeling better! and we waved goodbye once we got to our destination! Nao, I hope you're doing alright out there!

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

"why would you WANT to be called it/its" why does anyone want to do anything. stop thinking so hard just live

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

getting a note on a super old post

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

I’m living for The Odyssey discourse on Twitter right now because some people are like, “You’ve never heard of the odyssey” and other people are like, “some people don’t speak English and haven’t read your little American book.”

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

not to be controversial but sometimes I think the private personal lives of celebrities are in fact none of our business

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

peak autism creature

i have joined #snomblr. if you haven't already please check out my sideblog @snomchievement-unlocked :3 snoms galore.

here is the icon of it for more Snom Tax

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

ok i just got this thought out of nowhere but blog divers (people who scroll through a blog and reblog things that were posted YEARS AGO) are actually a super important part of the tumblr ecosystem

With people going inactive and deactivating, a lot of classic tumblr posts and also missed gems get lost because those connections get broken. Even on my own blog I forget about posts I made until I see someone in my activity reblog one of them- which then inspires me to reblog it myself because it was a good post and I want my new followers to see

do not feel bad about diving through someone's blog and reblogging shit from years ago, it keeps dashboards alive

(and if anyone has a problem with that, they can just block you or they can delete the root post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, two things that have absolutely no effect on the grand scheme of our lives)

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

Thank you @/maryland-officially and everyone who got me to 2000 reblogs!

lordy

i am not sorry to the person who just sent me an anon ask with a youtube link

i would not open one that i couldn't verify even if the sun came down and sent it to me personally

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

yeah

unfortunately i just dont do that not for the barest chance of rickrolls or our fathers interest or the sun bearing down on us so sweetly for a moment

i am not sorry to the person who just sent me an anon ask with a youtube link

i would not open one that i couldn't verify even if the sun came down and sent it to me personally

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

Are you aware the moon phases you drew are incorrect? Your waxing phases are actually waning. Just wanted to let you know in case you didn’t know

UM akshually it depends on which side of the hemisphere you’re viewing it from🤓

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

we deleted it <3

theres no way in a freshly minted hell that we would put you through the chance of danger either

i am not sorry to the person who just sent me an anon ask with a youtube link

i would not open one that i couldn't verify even if the sun came down and sent it to me personally

[dangerousskeletoncoptree]

Did you guys know there's nothing inherently wrong with selfish thoughts and desires and there's no such thing as thought crimes or thought sins and a balanced amount of selfishness is healthy and adaptive for living things to have and it's fine to act selfishly as long as you don't harm others