#because noone did them :(

[yellowistheraddest]

me when i find the way to the attic of the venue the wedding im attending is happening in order to avoid doing cringe challenges with people at my table (my parents (drunk) and old people I've never met before)

[tazzmanian-devil]

im so scared of the future. i dont know what im going to do with myself. i am not mentally capable of working enough hours to support myself without killing myself. i truly believe that if i lived alone i would burn my house down. i cant work jobs that require a lot of standing or interacting with others. i dont have the autism that makes me good with computers to do something online. i have no idea what im good for. i dont even draw well or often enough to do commissions, and i feel too guilty about not being in a difficult financial situation to even offer them.

i dont know how to apply for disability or what it would even grant me besides tax benefits. one of the questions on the website is for employment status, and the two options are employed and unemployed/seeking employment. i do not think i am capable of working a regular job, and i have no idea what IRregular jobs there might be. i tried reaching out to my school's employment coordinator, and her ONLY advice was to sell my work. i am trying!

maybe it would be different if i felt more direct and specific pressure of a problem to solve and less general pressure to do what im supposed to without knowing what that is. im living with my grandfather and aunt right now, so im not feeling housing pressure. my parents are paying for my education, so im not feeling pressure to pay that back. why do i need that? what is it for? what is my goal? i dont know. i have money from student loans in my bank account paying for my groceries.

i feel like a horse whose ass has been spanked. something is driving me forward, but i dont know what or which direction to run. i have no idea whats coming, and its horrible. i dont know what i want or what i should be doing next, except for 'get a job' which is such a vague instruction that its leaving me spinning my wheels.

i should get a job so i can live alone...but i dont want to live alone. i dont think i CAN live alone, unsupported. what is any of this for??? i start taking steps forward, and im haulted each time by myself asking why? why am i doing this? whats the point? what do i want from this? nothing? i want nothing? im only doing this to satisfy external pressures? then whats the point? cant i just watch movies all day instead? whats the point?

[cali]

my grandma and grandpa fed a family of red kites daily over like 15 years. it would circle in the air around noon every day and they would put a piece of meat on their terrace and the kite would swoop down and take the meat back to its nest near a pylon. if they had kept that up for a couple thousand more years theyd have domesticated those birdies to the level of a housecat but unfortunately they died because they were old and human

[ineffablejaymee]

oh hello emotionally aware people pleaser who learned to deascelate conflicts and recognise emotions of other people as a child because of an immature emotionaly unavailable toxic manipulative hypocritical father parent whose mood affects the whose family

[shidouryusm]

I just realised today marks exactly one year since my breakup.

I'm so so so proud for growing into myself in this one year. I have strengthened my boundaries, I have become more firm in asserting what I want from a partner and won't be settling for anything less. Most importantly, I have realised my own worth, my own importance so so much more than last year. I discovered what I genuinely like, I went out a lot with my friends even on countless self dates, I read books about self-worth and productive habits, I worked and studied hard, I travelled, I just became a relatively more happier person than I was, from 2021 infact.

Last year Sami would not make the choices this year's sami made. As much as I was hurt emotionally and it took me a fair chunk of month to recover, I'm glad I experienced it in order to realise how much I was depriving myself of my own potential and how much I, as an individual, am so much interesting with my own set of goals and likings. As well as realising I am also an individual who has things to work on before getting with someone else. My idea of dating has drastically shifted and honestly I don't think it would have happened if I were to be in that relationship still.

It wasn't abusive nor it was degrading or demeaning to me but I was unknowingly being treated as a much much less priority in the name of "work" and "space". Now I am very sharp about these sugarcoated distancing and disrespect and won't tolerate it otherwise.

I've grown. I am thriving. I am happy.

[lesbiansanemi]

Do you think if I wish hard enough my mom will get electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights and just go up in a cloud of smoke. It’d be a Christmas miracle

[weezerlvr228]

flippin boobahs!

[merriadoc-brandyfuck]

Some of you haven’t cried while listening to Chords by The Amazing Devil and it shows

[autisticjonathanjoestar]

I need to stop being sad about someone who got mad at me and gave me the silent treatment all night because I said I read the wikipedia article for a movie I googled. ok. I hate being sentimental.

[yohankang]

i got so drunk at an office party yesterday 🤡

[pulverulents]

j.t. | 24/10/23 transcription below: 

My mother’s love language is pointing out my flaws. The years between jammy sticky fingers and monthly phone bills were spent auditing the parts of myself that resembled her and hiding away the parts of myself that didn’t, placing pennies in a jar for every cutting word she said, scribing every brittle cadence and bitter splatter. I’m twenty-four now, counting my damage like it’s spare change and wondering what the fuck was I saving up for. I’m twenty-four now, excavating the parts of myself that I denied in response to her derision. Still her words search my body without warning and I can’t help but flinch in anticipation of old wounds bursting open, messily sewn stitches ripped out, tender wine-red bruises blooming beneath my pallid skin. Slowly, painfully, like rubbing alcohol on bloodied knees, she reaches in between my ribs to pull my trauma out and demand that I look at it, ugly and restless and writhing. 

Or did I do that? I’m twenty-four now, trying to distinguish her voice from mine and terrified that I no longer know the difference. This I know: I’ve inherited a lifetime of self-loathing. Still I wonder – am I a masochist for wondering if I'm a narcissist like you?

— twenty-four

[purple-is-great]

Time to play a game called what's that headache?

a. I have not slept enough for the past two nights

b. I've been out and about away from my home for fifteen and a half hours today

c. It's far too cold outside and i'm not used to it

d. All of the above

[sowhatnotcreative]

Imagine you're trying to talk about the horrors of the meat industry and some dofus goes "I actually know a farmer that got killed by a cow!"

[dirt-str1der]

I like the paranormal elements in the yakuza games so much. Throughout the series there will just be a ghost or a yokai for absolutely no reason. Kiryus “pirate ghosts huh” [y6] (and the lady in the tape [yk2]), akiyamas “i caught the prankster” “that guy died three years ago” [y5], saejimas hunt for kappa [y4] and the yeti [y5] and tendo [y5] who randomly had for real magic powers (summon avalanche, turn invisible , teleport .. levitate ? And shoot beams ..?) , majimas pale lady entity [y0]. Almost every protag had a run in with the supernatural and the inexplicable and theyre always like huh. That was weird. Anyway ...

[themboification]

if you're wondering how im doing i created my fav wlw ships in sims just so i can talk to myself making stupid gay scenerios up [i have spent 7 hours today playing one out, i have not moved in plot at all, i need help]

[tronlightcyclerun]

THE WORLD IF MOST GR**N D*Y SONGS DIDNT MAKE ME SHIFT MY STUPID CANON DIVERGENT U******G TIMELINE (removed e,e,a from first censored words)