recoveringenglishmajor
Confessions of A Recovering English Major
9 posts
Former English Major. Current advertising worker bee. Writes opinions about literature, poetry and pop culture, diary style. Gives zero fucks. Cheers.
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recoveringenglishmajor · 6 months ago
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recoveringenglishmajor · 6 months ago
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Amazing things I've done while high
- watched my ceiling light projector change color while playing an aquarium sounds playlist on Spotify as I lay on my faux fur fuzzy rug
- been tackled by puppies while laying in a grassy park
- soaked in the hot tub then taken a hot shower. I felt like a paintbrush washing off the water color
#sleepytimetea and heating pad
-restarting a tumblr account from 2015 to make this post
Please tell me yours.
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recoveringenglishmajor · 9 years ago
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Study Break: Movie Star by Lizzie Pepper (by Hilary Liftin) Review
This isn’t Norton’s Anthology! You caught me. I’m training for a marathon and, while I love bunkering down with a highlighter and short stories, audio books are more digestible these days. Especially when you have to run for hours on end. 
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My first impression was...not great. In fact, I was pretty sure I hated Liftin’s fictionalized Katie-Holmes-and-Tom-Cruise tell-all from the first chapter. Why stick with it, you ask? Mama L recommended it to me. And I did need something to listen to while I ran. SO, down the aural garbage disposal it went. Better than Top 40, right? Lizzie’s search for identity was by far the most interesting part of the book. Our heroine spent her life living up to Daddy dearest’s expectations. Star of faux Dawson’s Creek (in this work, American Dreams), she bailed on college for an acting career she still isn’t really sure she wants. In classic Daddy issues’ fashion, Lizzie warps herself into “Elizabeth”, the blank slate “W” (woman-- spoiler alert for later), malleable wife to mega movie star Tom Cruise Keith Mars. Sure, Lizzie’s transformation is more passive than active (Mars is the one who ultimately bestows her the more formal name and love bombs her cynicism away), but you’ll still want to slap her for not asserting an identity of her own.
The book ambles on as Lizzie/Elizabeth attempts to build her own backbone in a sort of delayed adolescent rebellion. She continually reminds others, and herself, that she is a “grown-up” (not even an “adult”?) and can make her own decisions. The woman is past 25 at this point! The scaffolding that (barely) holds this backbone up comes in the form of secret sister, adorable twin sons, a Scientology-like cult and a Disney-named high school BFF named Aurora (you know Liftin was playing into the Sleeping Beauty theme of waking up from an overly protected life--and her grown female audience’s likely love of Disney princesses). By the end, Lizzie’s story concludes very similar to her actual Hollywood counterpart, an escape and a new life, supposedly on her terms.   Lizzie begins and ends her tell-all with the desire to tell her own story. Just compare the novel’s first line with its last: 
First line
     “I wasn’t really interested in the part: another helpless girlfriend—too small         a role for me—but my management told me to take the meeting.”
Last line     “Call me Lizzie.” The first line shows a woman who is conflicted between her inner desires (not being interested in a part) and what others want her to do (following her management’s direction). The last line seems to state, somewhat emphatically, that she is reclaiming her identity, demanding that others call her by the name that she chooses for herself.  Yet. Yet. She chose to be on American Dream. And marry Keith Mars. And practice One Cell’s “Whole Body” Principles. She acts as though things are different now, that she’s choosing things for herself and not her father’s/Keith’s wishes, but she still defines herself primarily by her relationships with others. She says that she is an actor, an artist, but first and foremost, a mom. Baby Cap and Leo have replaced her father and Keith Mars as the males eclipsing her life and identity, but we’re supposed to believe there is a change? Yes, I’m glad you’re wearing less make-up and falling asleep on the subway and all, but you’re still avoiding the reality. Who is Lizzie apart from everyone else in her life? She may be further along than robotic Keith Mars at “feeling her feelings”, but has she really realized her identity? I remain unconvinced. The writing was beach-read level and somewhat enlightening about celebrity life, especially when you realize that Liftin is a celebrity ghost writer. Prepare for jaw-dropping depictions of decadence. There were some pretty passages (my favorite one revolved around a diamond necklace), but also a lot of simplistic repetition. Lizzie wants the frog, not the prince. Lizzie likes authenticity, not overt romantic symbols. Lizzie wants to know the real Keith. We get it! Overall, good for a beach read, especially if you love celebrity drama, but otherwise exactly what you would expect it to be. 
What should I listen to next? Say Go Set a Watchman and I *will* internet slap you in the face.  Celebrity kisses, 
L
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recoveringenglishmajor · 10 years ago
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Hey Everyone, It's Roald Dahl Day!
Woohoo! 
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In honor of the big day, here's 7 tips from the writer himself on, you guessed it, writing children's books. Enjoy!
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Happy re-reading old favorites (mine are The BFG and The Witches), 
L
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recoveringenglishmajor · 10 years ago
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She wished she knew what it was she was trying not to think about.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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recoveringenglishmajor · 10 years ago
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#TBT: Villanelle Style
Weirdly enough, I'm not a huge poetry person. At least, I wouldn't define myself as a poetry person. Definitely more of a lit kid. I like to talk too much to pick only a few words for poems. Sort of like that scene from the Phantom Tollbooth where the King's Cabinet (from Dictionopolis) introduce themselves: 
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Note to self: Use the word "bosh" more often. 
Poetry is scary because you have to pick just the right word to explain everything--you can't just ramble on like a tumblr post. 
However, whether it was the wine, reading too many poems from Norton, or the wine (it's so nice, I'm saying it twice), I decided to #TBT to my extracurricular , early morning, high school poetry class (yes I really did that) and write--god help me--a villanelle.
Here goes nothing.
Sure, it might not change a lot. 
But if you yell loudly enough, 
The world will know what you've got. 
--
A lady once proteth too much, 
Another only once. 
(It didn't change a lot). 
--
Because it's hard to be heard in a deaf world,
But you should speak out anyway.
Tell the world what you've got.
--
Yeah, anger won't erase actions past. 
It highlights them--exclaims them!--instead. 
Sure, it might not change them a lot. 
--
But I'm sure that you're worth yelling for. 
You are. You are! YOU ARE. 
Show the world what you've got. 
--
Even if the world won't hear, 
Even if paper is your only ear, 
Go yell. 
It will change enough. 
You will show yourself what you've got.
Happy throwback-ing, 
L
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recoveringenglishmajor · 10 years ago
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A Well-thought (hopefully) Piece on The Wellfleet Whale
Next up in Norton's Anthology since 1945 (and my self-assigned homework) is poet Stanley Kunitz. Dude literally lived to be 101 years old and was the US poet laureate at age 95. Makes you kind of feel like a wuss if you retire at 65 like you're supposed to.
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I was creating nationally lauded work while you were playing Bacci ball and babbling about your grandkids. 
His introduction is checkered with tragedy (I'm starting to wonder if any of these start with how happy and well-adjusted people are...maybe I'm in the wrong field). Six months before he was even born, his father killed himself. His mother refused to allow anyone speak his name in her presence, including baby Stanley. Some of his work ("Portrait", "Quinnapoxet") alludes to this early tragedy. Isn't it crazy how something that happened before a person was born could affect their whole life?
Stanley was an academic Massachusetts (woohoo!) guy who crushed it at Harvard, but was refused a professorship (?) due to his Judaism--something that "shattered" him. As a Gentile, it's hard for me to imagine someone being rejected for his religion; this was a terrible reminder of a privilege I have but don't think about. I wanted to reach out and give college-aged Stanley a hug and tell him Harvard was being an asshole. I wonder if he ever came back to the school later once he was super famous to rub it in their faces. I hope they apologized to him before they died. 
While I liked a few of his poems (and had fun trying to puzzle out how his family drama tied into it), I LOVED "The Wellfleet Whale." Like, marked that shit up. 
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There's a reason "recovering" is in the blog title. 
Read it here for yourself (why are there normal links to these poems so hard to find?!). Basically, a dead whale washed up on the beach and inspired Kunitz to write an epic (yes, read part 5, he does make it epic) poem about it. 
NOTE: This part may get a little ramble-y (since I really just want to get my thoughts on paper, erm, the internet), but no one is grading this. If rambling bothers you, please reference the amount of fucks given in the blog description. 
Read on at your on risk..
One of the most interesting parts of this five-part poem was the perspective. It reminded me of a camera panning out.
Part 1-The Whale: Zoom-in view of the whale aka "you"
Parts 2 & 3-The narrator/"we": Zoom-out to the "we" (who's with you, speaker? why don't you ever specify??)
Part 4-The town & outside world: Now, not only is the entire town involved (a boy, man, men, schoolgirls, housewives, whole families), but other species (gulls) and people from other towns (the Curator of Mammals from Boston) are getting in on the action
 Part 5-All of the world and time basically: Seriously, this is where he ties in everything. The speaker(s) goes all the way back to dinosaurs (flying reptiles & thunder lizards), crosses continents (North Atlantic track to Port-of-Spain to Baffin Bay) and even crosses the mortal/immortal barrier by saying that the whale, one "like a god in exile"  has become disgraced & mortal--just like the rest of us. Because everything in the history of everything dies. The end.
The poem seems to be about a whale. After all, it's named after a freaking whale. But it's actually about the speaker's view of death and all these glorified thoughts he/she has about the whale and mortality. 
Sure, it's a metaphor. Time kills all accomplishments. Nothing is immortal. Like "Ozymandias" with a whale. What's the big deal? 
Oh I don't know, what about the fact that we'll never know what the whale was thinking. Sure, the speakers can watch the whale from the shore. "They" (the "we" in the poem) can "guess at your silent passage" and talk to "you" (the whale) all they want. They can look at your dead body and even compare you to a fallen god. But guess what? Your whale life isn't about them. You're a whale and you're just doing whale shit. Maybe you were ready to die. Maybe you were irritated at people watching you do your thing and making noises with boats that interrupt your whale song. 
They'll never know. Because, as the first line of the poem puts it, "you have your language too."
And the speakers can search all throughout time, continents, even the common bonds of death itself and they still will never speak that language. Your life is, and always will be, a mystery. 
Mind. Blown. 
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The whole thing reminds me of The Virgin Suicides* (spoilers) where the boys across the street spend their whole lives wondering what the hell happened to the girls across the street, but they never actually find out why the sister's killed themselves. As the years go on, the girls' mythical status crescendos as the boys' memories fade and they grasp at the more and more tenuous connection they have with girls. Despite all their puzzling, the girls remain objects of their fascination, not people with understandable feelings and motivations. The girls have their own language, and since the boys (another "we" narrator!) don't speak it, they can only guess about the girls and their motives, never understand them. 
Both pieces end the speakers assigning the objects of their projections mythological, epic importance when really, they don't understand them at all--and never will. 
At least, the boys' in The Virgin Suicides know that "we couldn't fathom them [girls] at all." In "The Wellfleet Whale", the speakers seem to want to tie the ending all up in a bow by part 5. Like, "hey whale, since you died, you're mortal like us, not an unapproachable, incomprehensible god. We get you." EXCEPT THEY DON'T. They still don't speak whale. 
Unlike Dory from Finding Nemo. 
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 And I think that's pretty much the end of that. 
Happy POV-ing, 
L
*Only saw the movie, but really want to read the book. Would you recommend it, or did you like the movie better? 
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recoveringenglishmajor · 10 years ago
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Lorine Niedecker: Midwestern Recluse to Anthology-Starting Poet
Aaaand for the first Norton Anthology: American Literature Since 1945 writer (yes I really am writing about this--read the damn blog title): Lorine Niedecker! 
Aka, this chick: 
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Because real writers rock horn-rims. Don't act like you're not impressed. 
So Lorine lived from 1903-1970 in the middle-of-fuck-nowhere Wisconsin. She loved writing poetry, but was kind of busy with life aka warding off flash floods, working odd jobs through economic difficulties and supporting her family (did I mention her mom, Daisy, was completely deaf?). In between trying to keep her head above water (pun absolutely intended), she wrote poetry and started pen pal relationships with some of the great poets of her time including: 
Jonathan Williams (don't know who that is)
Louis Zukofsky (wasn't he in an AC/DC song?)
Apparently, she definitely identified with objectivist poets like William Carlos Williams (I KNOW HIM! SO MUCH DEPENDS ON A RED WHEEL BARROW!) who perceived of the poem "as an object, a pure form in which the other objects of the world are seen in clarity and precision, washed free of imprecise feeling" (Bayam 2097). Later on though, she messes around memories and abstract reflection, but most of her poems (from this sampling) are stand-alone and minimalist. 
I get the feeling that the writers started off with her because she was such a "hidden gem"--most of her poems don't have titles and the majority of her work didn't make it to book form since she spent most of her time working and supporting her family. Like the editors are telling us, "oh look, this poet in the middle-of-nowhere's work has hardly survived but we found her because we're so thorough and unexpected" or some shit. 
BUT her massive lady-boner for the MidWest ties into the American dream and all. And she does have a few good lines. Here are the highlights, but first, some juicy literary gossip: apparently, Loraine had TWO husbands--her first marriage "ended quickly" (2098). Scandal!
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Her face screams "heartbreaker"--and poetic genius. 
Now onto the lit crit. 
Highlights (in order)
Her description of her job in  Poet's Work: 
"I learned/to sit at desk/and condense" (3-5)
Isn't that what writing is all about? Too real, Lorine. 
The survivalist view of marriage in [I married]: 
"I married/in the world's black night/ for warmth" (1-3)
Probably a good feminist comment in there somewhere; she married for security ("warmth") in the black night of an unfriendly world for a single woman
"I married/and lived unburied./I thought---" (19-21)
LOVE how this ends--sends chills up my spine. She thought marriage would help make her slightly less dead in the eyes of the world ("unburied") but instead, her drunk husband ruins her security and her dreams (that didn't seem that high of a bar to begin with--not be alone, not be buried) are crushed with two simple words ("I thought--"). The dash cuts off the ending like a guillotine leaving us to wonder what happened to the speaker. Maybe she's venting about her abrupt first marriage? #LiteraryGossip
The stoner-esque wisdom of the first few lines of the excerpt from "Lake Superior" (no great link--sorry!):
"In every part of every living thing/is stuff that was rock" (1-2)
Doesn't that kind of just blow your mind a little bit? Everything alive, came from rocks. Pretty cool stuff--reminds me a little of the transcendentalists (here's looking at you, Emerson). 
The pitch-perfect spring snapshots and family drama in "[Well, spring overflows the land]":
Can absolutely picture the spring overflowing, flooding the floor and the pumping washing machine in lines 1-3. Not sure why, but all the water imagery and alliteration just evoke a rich, muddy spring for me (almost like ee cummings "mud-lucious" "puddle-wonderful" vision of the season in in Just spring)
Love the Walt Whitman reference in line 4
This poem definitely hints at her deaf mama drama. Would LOVE to know the story behind the last few lines (11-13): "I've wasted my whole life in water./My man's got nothing but leaky boats./ My daughter, writer, sits and floats." It's cool how they're so engrained in her personal drama (writing about her mom), but also tie into the universal wet imagery of spring that's so relatable early-on in the poem. I wish I could ask her for the full story there--she's obviously feeling a lot. 
Everything about "Radio Talk" (only link I could find, scroll down for poem). It's so juicy and morbid and timeless. Every generation worries about the state of the world, which makes this particular poem of Niedecker's so timeless. I feel like it could've been published today. It's only 7 lines long (talk about condensing!) so go read it. I dare you not to think of those fruit flies next time you read the news...
Also, wtf is a "recommended melon"?????
Less-than-highlights
Soooooo much MidWest.
Did not get "Wild Pigeon" at all; absolutely no interest aside from the line about leaves coming from stone (which I still think she captured better in the excerpt from "Lake Superior").
Don't understand why I should care about the skaters in "Watching Dancers on Skates"--not enough context (maybe a little too much condensing,Lorine). 
Overall impression
Everyone: Read "Radio Talk" for sure. Otherwise....
If you super-identify as a poet, put her condensing line as your tumblr bio. 
If you're in a bitter romantic mood, read"[I married]"(breakup holla!)
If you know her life story and want to explain the context to me more in full (or want to Wikipedia it for me), see [Well, spring overflows the land] 
If you're from the MidWest, or just really love Wisconsin, read her everything
The biggest takeaway I got from reading her is that, even if you are poor and have to work full-time away from the "literary scene", you can still create something Norton-worthy (or even, start-Norton-collection worthy). And that's the American dream. 
Happy writing, 
L
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recoveringenglishmajor · 10 years ago
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The World According to Norton: 1945
Some people have hobbies. Others talk to the internet. And give themselves homework for no reason.  Hello, my name is L and I'm a recovering English major. 
It all started at  (where else?) a used book store. I stumbled on a brand-spanking-new Norton's Anthology of Modern Literature Since 1945. With a cover designed by the same artist who did the Saved by the Bell credits (probably) and a mere $10 price tag, the English major in me could not leave without it.
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#amIrightthough?
Thus, a blog was born. Since my dear advertising friends and dearer engineering S/O don't want to listen to me talk about literature, I decided to take it to the final frontier of our age: the internet.
Come along for the ride--from Lorine Niedecker to Jhumpa Lahiri--and everywhere in between as I travel down Norton's Anthology and beyond from 1945 onward.  
There will be highlighters (likely). There will be tears (less likely). There will be wine consumed (most definitely). But most of all, there will be zero fucks given.  Cheers and happy reading, 
L
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