#because it's meant to focus your mind on a specific theme

[littlestickfish]

Edit: I fucking. Said "us" in the notes. I am not even Catholic anymore

I just grew up so immersed in the culture and theology (3rd generation Sicilian-American) that even after 6 years as a Gnostic I still cannot stop using the first person plural

Roman Catholicism is the Hotel California of religions

Being raised by areligious jews with 0 exposure to christianity outside pop culture is so fun. One time I asked my ex-catholic friend why a picture of jesus had a bristle crown and she looked at me like I was insane. One time I heard someone mention the "lance of longinus" and responded, word for word, "Like from Evangelion?" One time during a history lesson my professor described an important monk and scholar as "Dominican" and I spent the rest of class super confused and hung up on it because I was very sure that the Dominican Republic didn't meaningfully exist as an entity back then, maybe she meant he was a native Taino or something but that's a weird way to say that and I'm pretty sure this was pre- European contact? Really fucks people up when they realize I genuinely have no idea.

[helianthus-tarot]

SELF: What do you need to know the most about your life dream

This is more about a big dream that you have, not really about just a random goal. Think of your specific dream and choose a pile. I posted the extended version on my Patreon which includes more details!: potential success if you pursue this dream, practical actions that can help increase the likelihood of success, what sabotages this dream? 🧐📝🔥

Disclaimer: Here | Instagram: Here

Instructions: Focus on the topic and ask yourself the question. Choose a number/picture that you feel the most drawn to or that you can’t stop looking at. Trust your intuition. May the message resonate. Let me know which pile you choose! Feedback is appreciated!

Like my readings? Tip here!

PILE 1 

What do you need to know the most: Justice, The Chariot, Page of Wands, The Star. 

You are meant to be drawn to this path. For some of you, it’s not necessarily that it's been fated for you since the beginning of time, but it may be the logical result or outcome of what you have been through. There are many paths that are possible for you, but what you have experienced in life so far (or a certain life experience) has made you notice or get drawn to this path in particular; it’ll make sense if you take a step back and look at it. For some of you, especially if you have been trying so hard (could be related to this dream or just your life in general), this dream may actually be a reward for your persistence. It may also be something that ties to your sense of empowerment; maybe it reminds you of your control over your life, of your persistence and determination, maybe it gives you hope and keeps you believing in a better future. When you engage in the pursuit of this dream/goal, you may find yourself easily inspired by it, excited and curious. It ignites passion in you.  

I’m not sure what dream this is but if you pursue it, it may end up putting you in a situation or a path where you will use and share the life lessons that you’ve learned; you may end up feeling called or being in a position where you can speak your truth, share your insights and understandings. Which can have an effect of making people aware of those truths. I don’t want to use the word ‘teaching’ because it can sound like a saviour complex, but people may get enlightened by what you share, and some of them may find healing from it. You will too, I think it can be a form of healing for you as well. For some of you this may also involve the themes of justice, fairness, balance, understanding cause-and-effects, interconnectivity of the universe and everything in it, the spirit and the mind.  

There’s also a wealth of inspiration that can be gained if you pursue this dream. You will probably never lack inspiration, ideas, insights or understandings. It may also help you keep your mind sharp, your soul optimistic, peaceful yet brave and determined. The dream/goal may require tenacity however, it may require you to keep your eye on the prize. The beginning is always the hardest, especially when it involves mastering skills. But once you’ve mastered the skills, that’s when you can play around, explore and experiment. So the possibility of being able to have fun is here in the cards, you just have to keep pushing through.  

EXTENDED VERSION IS ON PATREON! Will you be successful if you pursue this dream? What specific actions can you take to increase the likelihood of success? And what exactly sabotages your dream? Find out here! 🧐📝🔥    

PILE 2 

What do you need to know the most: The Star, King of Pentacles, Ace of Cups (The Tower), 3 of Cups, The Emperor. 

Similar to the previous pile, you are probably meant to feel drawn to this path. But it’s clearer for this pile that this dream/goal is something that truly resonates with you; it’s a soul desire. For some of you it’s tied to what you have been envisioning for yourself, or what you have been wishing for. This dream may also be something that you feel drawn to or realise you are interested in after you went through some kind of upheaval in your life. This next message is supposed to be in the next section, but it comes up here; there’s a strong potential of success. This is something that can stay in your life if you pursue it, or it’s something that can have a lifelong impact on your life; the effects and gains will stay with you. I think you have all the resources and skills that you need to make this dream or goal happen. For some of you, there's someone who can help you (they have the resources that you need); this may be an older man, but it could simply be an earth sign/influenced person who’s mature or in a position of power.  

For others of you, this is a dream/goal that you’ve been building yourself for; maybe you have learned a lot of skills, or have built your life in a way that allows you to pursue this dream, and the message here is that it’s working for you, it does help make things more stable or solid, which gives you the ability to pursue this dream. Pursuing this dream will lead to a stable life, materially and emotionally. This dream may also involve other people in some way. Either it will lead you to interact with a community or a group of people, or it will lead to you finding your own community or a group of friends who support and celebrate you and what you do. This dream/goal will lead to more relationships, not necessarily romantic. So it can also lead to an emotionally fulfilling life, you’ll build better relationships if you pursue this dream; especially if you have experienced a lot of problems or unpleasant revelations in your connections with people.  

For a few of you, pursuing this dream can also lead to intense emotional experiences, though I’m not getting bad energy from this, so they are probably not toxic, just maybe very revealing and awakening. Pursuing this dream may require you to be stubborn and quietly persistent. The dream just overall feels like... it’s something within your grasp. Some of you may end up being an authority in your field; or you may end up being the master, mentor, or someone powerful or highly regarded in this field; maybe people will look up to you or ask for advice from you especially if they have the same dream or goal. If this is related to an industry; your name could end up being known in that industry. You have a potential to attain or build a strong presence in your field.  

EXTENDED VERSION IS ON PATREON! Will you be successful if you pursue this dream? What specific actions can you take to increase the likelihood of success? And what exactly sabotages your dream? Find out here! 🧐📝🔥    

PILE 3 

What do you need to know the most: Ace of Wands, 7 of Pentacles, The Magician, 2 of Swords. 

Many of you may be doubting this dream/goal. Some of you aren’t confident in your skills or ability to make it happen; some of you are torn between two or several different paths. It feels like, you want it but at the same time, because you are doubting yourself, you think you should take another path instead, because that path seems better or more realistic for you. Your internal dilemma is probably just a part of the process, see it as an opportunity to look deeper into yourself; and if you look deeper, you may find the answer you’re looking for, you may end up finding the passion that can end up making you feel braver and determined about this dream. You may need to get in touch with that fire, that passion and ride it, let it motivates and drives you forward despite your doubts and uncertainty.  

Some of you are doubting this dream because it takes a lot of work to be successful, or at least you think so. You think it requires a lot from you, and you aren’t sure if you want to commit to that. I can’t tell you to commit and walk on this path if you don’t want to; but you know that quote, “anything worth having don't come easy”, so that may be the case here. You have your choice, of course. Because this dream may require you to put in the work; but with The Magician here as well, I think you can actually do it. You have the skills that you need, or the talent that can lead to you mastering the skills needed to make this dream a reality. This dream may require you to be creative, or to think outside the box, to dare to experiment and mix different things, methods, steps, and see what you can come up with. It does require confidence, specifically the audacity (lol) to believe there’s value in what you do; because The Magician also seems like arrogant brilliance to me lol, so like a genius believing in their speculation/theory and working hard to prove it, even if it looks kinda silly and lowkey insane to other people.  

If you pursue this dream, there may times when things seem like they aren’t moving, or there may be times when you feel like you can’t make it work; but you are encouraged to lean back into The Magician energy. Either believe in your ability and keep trying, or see if there's anything you can change and improve; this may require a creative approach. The dream may take time to come to fruition, so if you decide to pursue it, you may need to stay in touch with the burning passion that makes you want to take this path. Some days motivation may not be enough, some days you may need discipline and consistency. But again, like I said, you’ve got what it takes to make your dream a reality. Don’t overthink it. I’m not getting other messages for you. I think your main problem is your doubt, it feels like you keep mulling it over and feel discouraged and bored by it.

EXTENDED VERSION IS ON PATREON! Will you be successful if you pursue this dream? What specific actions can you take to increase the likelihood of success? And what exactly sabotages your dream? Find out here! 🧐📝🔥  

PILE 4 

What do you need to know the most: The Emperor, Page of Wands, The Moon, The Hermit Rx (10 of Wands), 9 of Wands. 

For some of you, this is less about your dream and more about your situation. You may have chosen a path that you initially thought was the right one for you; but you’ve had to struggle a lot to make it work, and perhaps you’re wondering if it’s indeed the right one for you. There’s no straightforward answer to that question in the cards, you may need to look within and determine the subconscious factors that have influenced your decision. It could have something to do with your father, your paternal influence, or your tradition. It could be coming from the need to be strong for yourself, for example, subconsciously you think this is the only path forward because you need to be strong for yourself and do what needs to be done. For some of you, this message may be completely unrelated to the dream you are asking about in this PAC. For others of you, it is related. 

Anyway, let’s get into the dream itself. This dream may be a life lesson. I mean, if you pursue this dream, you could end up learning and growing but there’s also a possibility that you’ll find a different thing at the end of this journey. I don’t want to say the dream is not meant for you, because this sounds so fatalistic, anything is possible if you really want something. But this does feel like a path that people take and then end up realising that it’s not for them, but they still learn from it and their soul is still transformed by it. That’s what this dream feels like. The dream/goal feels like a way for you to grow. You have a choice not to take this path, there is a possibility that you can get the same growth on a different path, maybe it’ll be more palatable or easier, who knows. The dream we’re talking about here may involve things that can potentially trigger your wounds, or touch your wounds in some way. It’ll make you look within and learn. So at times, it may feel difficult and painful.  

Some of you are being encouraged to explore other possibilities; you don’t have to immediately commit yourself to something, just lightly explore your options, look further than what’s in front of you, consider what ifs, entertain other things or paths that draw you in and see if it's something you are interested in pursuing. Even if you end up choosing this dream anyway, maybe those other things can make you feel more optimistic or energised about your dream. Curiosity and inspiration may be the key that holds your answer or the things that can lead you to your answer. You can also get back in touch with your inner child; for some of you, the answer is in your childhood interest/passion, or what inspired you when you were young. Some of you may want to do some shadow work or introspection before you continue with this dream; because some of your decisions may be highly influenced by your wounds; i.e. you make a certain decision because you want to avoid something, or because you want to fulfil a need that can actually be fulfilled in another, better way.  

EXTENDED VERSION IS ON PATREON! Will you be successful if you pursue this dream? What specific actions can you take to increase the likelihood of success? And what exactly sabotages your dream? Find out here! 🧐📝🔥

[ncis-nerd]

Slumber Party

part one || part two

Ship: Rio Vidal x Agatha Harkness x Reader || Professor Valkyrie x Reader || Future WandaNatDanverHill x Reader ;)

Warnings: Vulgar Language, Spanking, Slight Dark Themes, Manipulation?, Gulit Tripping?, Power Tripping?, Praise, Innocence, Degradation, Tears, Mentions of Sex, CALCUS, Brief Exhibitionism, Brief Voyeurism.

A/N: My last day of 4 classes back to back is over so that means the people will be fed ;)

Summary: Her lips ghosted your neck, her teeth bit down into that sweet spot. Nat smirked at your pathetic whimpers. “So loud.. and to think I haven't even began yet!” Natasha exclaimed. Wanda and Maria's eyes focused on you but all you could do was close your eyes. This was so hot, everything you ever wanted.

Word Count: 1.7K

When you received an invite in the mail from the "it girls" in your classes, you didn't expect any of this. You were on your way back from your professor Valkyrie's tutoring. You were struggling in her class so you went to her office hours to ask a few questions.

You were her star student so of course she didn't mind staying after class to provide you with some "extra help".

As the class came to an end, all your classmates began to leave. The room was empty, leaving just you and professor Valkyrie left in the classroom.

You were taking out your textbook to ask your professor some questions when you noticed her sitting on her desk. "So what can I help you with, my prized student?" Valkyrie spoke.

"I needed help understanding this concept, I just can't wrap my finger around it" you groaned in frustration.

Yeah, of course. That is one of the more harder topics so it makes sense that you are struggling. If we're being completely honest, I am just shocked you didn't ask for help sooner. I have been watching you in class and have seen the way you have been struggling." Your professor started to make her way over to you.

Professor Valkyrie laid her hand on your shoulder as you showed her a specific problem in your textbook you were struggling with. You noticed her hand lingering a little too long to be friendly, but you made nothing of it. You were probably just overthinking the situation. She's your professor, it would be inappropriate to think otherwise, you told yourself.

"Hey, are you with me?" Professor Valkyrie said, noticing that you had been in your head and quiet for a while. "Yeah, just stressed. I need to ace this test" you spoke.

"I'm positive you'll do well, you're my best student" she winked, making her way to the white board.

"But worse case, you do fail, then we can talk about ways of making that up" your professor spoke, a hint of suggestiveness in her voice. As if there was more to what she was implying.

Was talking about sex? Your eyes widened but you pushed those thoughts aside, you needed to focus.

"So this is what a partial derivative is" she spoke, facing the white board. Your eyes glanced down at her shirt, more specifically the curve in her back. It was so perfect..

As your eyes linger down further, Valkyrie turned around to trace your eyes on her. She smirked silently to herself as she shot you a firm look. You cowered in your seat, embarrassed.

After a while of conversating with your professor, you were able to nail the concept. Or at least that's what you thought as you made your way back to your dorm.

When you returned, you found a paper slipped under your dorm door. You reached down to pick it up. A wave of confusion filled your head, you didn't talk to much people besides your usual friend group that consisted of Peter, MJ, Ned, Kate and Billy. But they have your number so it couldn't be them.

It couldn't be for Kate because it said "Y/N" in bold letters. You began to open it, "Slumber party"..."Natasha, Wanda, Carol and Maria"... The paper read.

Huh? You thought they were all super pretty but way out of your league, so you were shocked. Was it the wrong "Y/N" maybe? It's a big campus, maybe the invite wasn't meant for you.

You have class with Wanda on Thursday, you could ask her about it then. You sighed, tossing the paper on your desk and taking your place on your bed. Your eyes struggled to stay open. You fell asleep, not wanting to think about calculus again.

You heard silent moans as your eyes fluttered open. You rose up to find THE Agatha and Rio fucking on your couch. Rio's eyes burned into yours, darkening as Agatha pounded into her with her fingers.

"Well, well, well. Look who decided to join the party" Rio smirked, referring to your presence. "O-oh, I u-um" You stuttered as you looked away from the scene in front of you. Both women, fully naked, screwing each other. On your couch??

"Aren't you gonna join us you little pevert?" Agatha hummed, her eyes now on you as well. "W-What" You gasped at the boldness of her words. Agatha and Rio were the power couple on your campus, everyone knew of them. They were so hot and everyone's dream girlfriend's.

"You heard me, are you just going to stand there and watch or join us?" Agatha remarked as you hesitantly made your way over to the pair.

You couldn't believe this was happening.

As you sank down on the couch between the two women, Rio started to leave love bites on your neck as Agatha palmed at your breasts through your shirt. "Let us take care of you" Agatha groaned. As Rio bit down real hard, you opened your eyes.

You jumped in your bed, it wasn't real.

On Wednesday night as you began to get ready for class, you started to think about your dream from the other day.

That was so strange, you've never had a dream like that before. You wonder what caused it. Could it be the stress about the invitation? But Agatha and Rio wouldn't even be there. Their names weren't on the invite. Whatever, you'll find out what's happening tomorrow, for right now you should get some sleep.

The next thing you know, your alarm for precalc is going off. Shoot! How'd you sleep in this long?! You groaned, hurrying to get to class. Your pj bottoms of teddy bears and clouds you deemed presentable enough to go in public, you were regretting but had no time to class. You grabbed your laptop and bookbag and rushed to class.

“And today we will-” Professor Valkyrie paused, the door swung open.

Out of breath, you stutter “I f-fell asleep!” making your way to an empty seat, which was coincidentally by Wanda. “Uh huh, as I was saying..” Professor Valkyrie continued.

Professor Valkyrie raised an eyebrow at you, pausing for a moment before continuing her sentence. "Today we will be focusing on partial derivatives and line integrals".

Your mouth opened slightly as you realized that she was going over the subject you had struggled on, but you went to tutoring so you should be fine right? It felt as if she was testing you, to see if you were paying attention to her during tutoring.

You groaned, realizing she was giving the extra hard questions. You were so screwed.

“Hey-” you whispered, facing the redhead who was not very invested in the class. Wanda's eyes fell on you, your attention on her soft pink lips. “Yeah?” Wanda whispered back. “I think you got the wrong dorm, this was at my door when I got back.” You took the invite out of your bookbag.

"No I didn't. We want you y/n.” Wanda smiled. You coughed loudly. What?! They want me?? Wanda giggled at your response “Let me rephrase that- we want to see you at our sleepover!” Wanda spoke. You were confused.. “Why me? You don't even know me..” You looked at Wanda puzzled.

Professor Valkyrie stared at you for a minute, after your coughing outburst.

After you handed in your paper, you sat at your desk for the remaining time left.

“We've had our eyes on you for a while, y/n. I'm surprised you haven't noticed.” Wanda hums. What did she mean by that? Why were they watching you? You were kind of creeped out but- “Ms Y/N! Ms Maximoff! Got something to share?” Professor Valkyrie glared at you, obviously annoyed. You were late and interrupted class, twice.

More people started to turn in their papers. As everyone left your class, Professor Valkyrie spoke up.

"Y/N, please stay after class for a minute".

Oh you were so, so screwed. You thought to yourself.

"What happened?" Professor Valkyrie frowned, disappointment was present on her face.

"I um-" She cut you off.

"No, I know what happened. You were to busy staring at my ass during tutoring instead of focusing on the equations that I took time out of my day to help you understand. Not only were you late but you were also disruptive of my class, TWICE." Professor Valkyrie spewed.

Your eyes widened as you felt tears fill your face. "W-wait n-no. Th-thats not what" You sniffled, as your words began to slur.

"W-wait n-no- T-thats not" She mocked, as her hand met your face rather harshly. You gasped in shock, feeling the sting on your face from where she slapped you.

"You're going to make it up to me, Y/N. I want you over my desk right now". Valkyrie spoke.

You were so confused but followed her directions, you were bent over her desk, you felt your butt out and exposed.

Valkyrie pulled down your skirt to reveal pink panties with strawberries on them.

She paused for a moment to admire them. "Cute, real cute" She murmured before pulling them down too. "Y'know I may have to confiscate those before you leave" She smiles.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as your tears continued.

"Hey, it's okay. You're okay, I'm just going to spank you for being naughty then you'll be my best student again. Okay, sweetheart?" Professor Valkyrie spoke softly.

You nodded, sniffling quietly. You weren't a bad girl, were you? You thought to yourself. "I want you to count and say thank you Professor after each spank. I'll only give you 10 since I don't want to break you just yet" She spoke.

Break you? What did she mean. You nodded regardless. "Y/N, I need to hear you, use your words doll." She mumbled.

"I understand, thank you Professor" you spoke obediently.

"Good girl" your professor praised.

Her hand met your cheeks, leaving a sting.

"One! Thank you Professor!" You winced, you were never one for pain.

"Two! T-thank you Professor!"

"Stuttering already? Don't worry, we'll fix that later on" Valkyrie spoke, making a mental note to break you in sooner rather than later.

Her hand left a harsher slap this time.

"F-five! Th-thank you P-proffesor!" You murmured.

By the eight spank you were a stuttering mess and your ass was burning. Professor Valkyrie was not gentle with her spanks.

"TEN! THANK YOU PROFESSOR!" You cried out.

"Shh, shh you were such a good girl for me" Valkyrie spoke, admiring how red and raw your ass was.

She brought you into her arms as she caressed your face, admiring your glossy eyes.

With a swift movement, Professor Valkyrie picked up your panties and dropped them in her pocket. "For later" she smiled, winking at you.

A/N: There WILL be a part two, it was too long to make one full story, so it will be broken down into two parts. The next part will be the actual Slumber Party.

[darlingdekarios]

until the stars leave.

RATING: m for canon themes — LENGTH: 4,782 — Rolan x Tav [reader]

CONTENT: hurt/comfort, set shortly after the final fight, fluff, somewhat unspoken admission of feelings, first kiss, cuddles because they both earned them, brief indecent thoughts

when the celebrations are through a harsh realization sets in - with your companions returning home or answering to their new purpose and the city in ruin, you are alone with no where to go. as you wander in the night, your mind recalls a certain sentiment that was extended.

Your heart had decided what it wanted before your mind had the chance to catch up, and your feet had carried you to the location you were drawn to - really, to the one place you felt was an option for you at the moment. At least, it was the safest and most comfortable option for you at a time like this, and the one you felt confident wouldn't turn you away.

Entering the main doors was hardly difficult - you'd picked up enough lock picking skills along the way to make quick work of the lock, slipping inside into the darkness around what walls and books remained and releasing a sigh of relief. The stairs you had to climb were familiar - a comfort in some way, at least.

What would happen when you stumbled through the portal? In all likelihood at this hour you'd enter the Tower to remain alone for several hours yet, until its new inhabitants woke for the new day. It didn't matter - you'd happily sleep amongst the books propped against the wall knowing you'd get through the night without any surprises.

But that wasn't quite fate's plan.

"Tav?"

Could his voice be considered a surprise when he was the Master of the Tower you'd snuck into? Could it be considering sneaking when you technically had an invitation - albeit not one specifically for tonight?

"Oh, hells," fell from your lips in surprise nonetheless, scrambling backward and into a stack of books until you fell flat on your ass. Your face burned as your mind wrapped itself around the situation, huffing out a deep breath as you fought your way on pained bones and muscles to your feet again.

"What are you doing here?" he questioned, rising from where he sat atop a throne made of books to walk closer to you, meeting you where the ceiling allowed the moon to illuminate the two of you. "Is everything alright?"

"Everything's…fine," you breathed out again, reaching upward to remove your headwear and view him completely unobstructed. Your stomach fluttered at the sight of him - the bruises from Lorroakan had faded more since you'd seen him in-person last, something that brought a light smile to your face. It was easier to focus on the freckles that decorated his skin when you weren't distracted by hatred for his former "teacher." “Cal said I had a room here…anytime. And well, I don't quite think he meant at this hour but…”

“Of course you do, there's no question about that in the slightest," his expression was still perplexed, eyebrows furrowed together with one slightly raised as he continued to await any answer you were willing to provide.

Not that you'd intended it, but his careful - and clearly caring - scrutiny made your eyes start to water, one of your shaking hands quickly lifting to wipe away a tear just as it fell. Your voice was meek but you tried to maintain the level of sass and confidence he was used to hearing from you - as you spoke, you were certain it was hardly a convincing performance.

"Only if you don't mind, Master of Ramazith Tower."

He tried to smile his signature grin but his mind focused too hard on you using such a title for him, his cheeks burning several shades of red darker. He cleared his throat and averted his gaze quickly to re-center himself, though it was probably a laughable effort.

"Are you alright?" his voice was just as gentle as you'd needed it to be, your appreciation growing with each word. "You don't even look like you've been healed an-"

“I am…alone. My family is scattered to return to their lives and I'm…"

The words had slipped out before you could stop them, this level of vulnerability and amount of sharing with the Wizard Tiefling entirely new - territory much better explored with a clearer mind and healthier body. Inwardly you worried even that was too much emotion between the two of you for the type of relationship - if you could even call it that - the two of you had maintained up to now.

Another surprise for the night - his eyes were only incredibly understanding as he shakes his head in your direction, dispelling your feelings in the politest way possible.

“You're not alone. Obviously."

There was that agitation in his voice you knew had nothing to do with you. Rolan, complicated man as he was and growing more so by the day it seemed, was not one to share his feelings, few exceptions being made throughout his hardened life. But the truth was undeniable in that single word - four syllables that told you everything you needed to feel more at peace tonight in knowing you were wrong.

You have me.

It was silent - it was all you needed.

Your lip began to quiver again as another tear fell, but this time it was his hand raising to catch it on your cheek, his hands soft and warm and delicate in all the ways you'd dreamed they would be…far more times you were willing to admit. He hadn't thought about the movement before it was carried out, yet he couldn't bring himself to regret it, savoring the way your head seemed to lean toward his touch more.

When was the last time you'd been touched in comfort…in need? Had it been just as long as it had for him? He found it was hard to pull his hand away from the softness your cheek presented beneath his thumb.

“You’ve been through quite a lot recently,” he removed his hand as he spoke again and you immediately wished he'd return it, that you could continue to memorize the feeling. You focused your attention instead on his eyes, falling even harder as you gazed into his eyes. You found only honesty met you in those yellow flames. “You’ve always been here for us…for me. My home - and everything in it - is yours. For as long as you need it."

"I didn't help you to be owed a favor," you reminded, always the one to ensure everyone around you knew they owed you nothing. "Thank you."

"Only you could just save the world and feel you're not owed anything," there was a subtle laugh to his voice that you were happy to hear - that you were certain you'd never been gifted with before and eager to hear much more in the future. "When's the last time you ate?"

Just the word made your stomach growl - it'd been a while, that much was clear.

"We donated our leftover supplies," your answer was hardly a real answer and yet that told him exactly what he needed to know - whatever the truth was it was completely unsatisfactory. He sighed in response, shaking his head slightly as he reached upward to pinch the bridge of his nose briefly in frustration - it only meant he cared.

"Unsurprising," he breathed out, returning his gaze to yours again when he removed his hand from his face. His tone offered no chance of argument. "I'll show you to a bath, and I'll find something for you to eat and wear while you're in-"

His tone offered no chance of argument, yes - but that still wouldn't stop you from trying.

"I'd be okay not eating. You don't need to go out of your way."

His eyes narrowed and he shook his head again, though you could see the hints of amusement at your usual heroic antics flickering in his eyes. You'd starve if it meant you didn't inconvenience someone else. He was hardly going to let that happen, and he was more than willing to repeat himself to you after the interruption - but likely only just the once.

"I'll show you to a bath, and then I'll find something for you to wear and something for you to eat," his tone was more assertive now, dominant - you couldn't deny the way it made your mouth go slightly dry and your palms sweat. "Take your boots off at least, I can't have you tracking…whatever it is on them all over the Tower."

You nodded in agreement knowing he wouldn't agree to anything else now that his mind was made up, beginning to lower yourself down to the ground. Your weary bones were struggling from fatigue and you ended up falling into a heap on the floor instead. He was quick to follow you, dropping to his knees at a speed you knew would result in a bruise, one of his arms coming out to support you.

You thanked him by looking at him like he'd answered a prayer, an expression he'd refer back to frequently. For now, however, he was too focused on your condition to fully appreciate the sweet moment for as long as it deserved.

"Gods," he spat, clearly not in your direction whatsoever - as if he could ever truly feel that anger at you. "I suppose none of your friends could perform healing."

"It seemed selfish to ask at a time like-"

"Just…stop," he sighed out again, waving his free hand in the air to dismiss your piss poor explanation - unwilling to hear the excuse he knew was reasonable and yet didn't bring him comfort. "There is such a thing as being too heroic. I hope the next time you're faced with saving the world you remember that."

"I hope there isn't a next time."

The confession came fast and took him by surprise - he offered an understanding nod and the briefest rub to your lower back where he still held you. He began to remove your armor, gently pushing your hands away when you tried to help. Any amount of relaxation he could offer you now he would without being asked, if he knew it was acceptable.

"Why are you awake at this hour, anyway?"

Your voice was soft and much less upset as you just watched him care for you, trying to navigate the conversation away from yourself. His eyes flickered up into yours again as he worked the laces on your sides free, fingers brushing over the thin fabric covering your sides gently.

You were touch starved and it was hard to ignore - in the way that every cell in your brain was screaming with the desire to hold his hand. You were hopeful the conversation could distract you before you made your desires known.

"I have a lot on my mind," he confessed, placing what had covered your torso to the side. You could see the conflict in his eyes returning and growing, whatever his mind had trailed to as he came up with an answer disturbing the peace that had fallen over the two of you. "I'd like things to be normal for a long time, whatever normal looks like now, but…"

It was your turn to nod in understanding as he removed your gauntlets, fingers lightly brushing against your arm as the skin was exposed. Goosebumps raised where his fingers touched, a fact that he didn't miss. He wondered briefly if it was the reaction he'd get from any part of your body he touched.

"But? Something else worth sharing?"

He had to lie…

"I'm afraid not."

But unfortunately he wasn't very good at it.

"If it's from your mind, it's worth sharing."

Such a compliment took him off guard momentarily, his eyes widening with genuine surprise as he allowed them to soak in, hoping he'd remember how that sentence sounded from your lips forever. It was impossible to lie when faced with the weakness of his intellect being appreciated, especially when it was by you.

"I worried it would be a long time before I got to see you again."

With his confession of the truth both of your faces heated up - his face turning shades of red that only seemed to make him glow. It made both of you feel silly, this giddiness which neither of you were particularly good at hiding at the moment. He helped you to your feet again as you made a mental note of the subtle flick to the tip of his tail.

Being a little bashful wouldn't stop you from flirting with him altogether. It was far too tempting to tease him just a little more.

"So that's what keeps the Wizard of Ramazith's Tower awake at night," your tone was light and playful and he was thankful you were able to diffuse the tension with your personality. He wasn't certain if his efforts to flirt had ever been even remotely successful in the past with others, but he was becoming increasingly hopeful they might work with you.

"It's what was keeping me awake tonight. Who's to say what tomorrow will bring?"

Your eyes flashed with surprise that Rolan was capable of flirting in such a way and found you could only smile, his heart fluttering at the sight. Behind him his tail twitched again, and he quickly moved to ensure you weren't catching onto the quirk. An arm gently slipped around your waist as he began to lead you to the bathroom where the promise of a relaxing bath waited for you. On the way, you still wanted to fill the silence.

"Are you going to tell Cal and Lia?" you questioned, realizing quickly you needed to clarify. Forming a concise question proved to be difficult when you were becoming intoxicated by the smell of him that was flooding your senses at this proximity. "That I'm here."

"Of course I am, but in the morning. Tonight you need to rest."

You nodded in agreement and remained at his mercy as you made your way to the destination he'd chosen for you. The bathtub filled before your eyes with a simple wave of his hand, a smug expression forming on his face as you looked on in wonder despite all you had seen in the recent weeks. Reaching for a shelf he walked beside the tub to empty several vials of herbs, once again waving his hand so some of the candles decorating the room flickered to life.

When he turned to face you he realized all that was left was for you to remove the rest of your clothes…the thought alone returned the blush to his face. This time, however, it was joined by several beads of sweat breaking out across his brow, his hand raising to rub the back of his neck as he nervously cleared his throat.

"I'll find you some clothes," he announced, trying to maintain the composure in his voice. "And food."

And like that he was gone, disappearing in a flash to remove himself from any further opportunity of indecent thought.

The bath alone did you wonders in returning your body to a somewhat lucid state, though you still stumbled when you raised yourself from the relaxing waters. A simple robe in a shade of blue he so regularly wore awaited you on the vanity, which you dressed into slowly to ensure you didn't have any accidents.

It felt odd to dress for the day and not cover yourself in as much powerful armor as possible - even odder not to grab a weapon. You were thankful for the oddity.

An illusionary duplicate of himself waited outside the bathroom door to direct you to your next location - you weren't surprised at all to find Rolan hadn't bothered with giving it much of a script beyond what was necessary. Still, you found your mind focused on all the power he was displaying - Rolan became more impressive by the day, more powerful and capable of caring for himself and his family.

How very lucky Cal and Lia were to have someone in their lives like him.

You found him in the kitchen, amused at the flustered expression on his face as he plated whatever he'd whipped together - for the two of you it seemed, judging by the matching plates in front of him. With a pop his mirror image disappeared and Rolan's head lifted to meet your gaze, both of you smiling just at being reunited again, though it'd hardly been long since you separated.

(In fact, this would become a trend for the two of you very soon - minutes would feel like hours, hours like days, days like eternity until soon you'd find being apart at all was unbearable. When that day came for the both of you, you would hardly be far from his side again.)

He'd made a simple meal for you - something he somewhat bashfully admitted he used to make for Cal and Lia when the three of them were growing up. As you ate together in comfortable silence you decided it was the best meal you'd ever been made, and one you would ask for again whenever you needed an excuse to see Rolan.

Not that you truly needed an excuse.

Thankfully, it was still dark when it was time to retire to bed for the night, something you were already hoping you could manage despite everything that was still on your mind. As he escorted you to the room you'd sleep in he offered a quick explanation knowing there was an argument to be had when he'd finished.

"You'll sleep in my room tonight, and I'll take the spare bed in Cal's room," his words were coming quick in the hopes that your exhausted mind would have trouble keeping up with them, intentions pure as he hoped you would just allow him to extend this kindness. "Tomorrow we'll be sure one of the other rooms is furnished to your liking."

"You don't need to go to all of this trouble for me."

The genuine offense that passed his features at your phrase was chased quickly by annoyance, his eyes narrowing again as he imparted his next words onto you.

"You've gone through far more for me. Please."

He opened the door and motioned you inside fluidly, following after you to light the fireplace with the wave of his hand, providing more light to the dark room. Even in the dim environment you could see his bed looked oh-so-inviting…despite the books that littered the top of it. Realizing the mess he rushed forward to begin moving them, shooting you a grateful look when you joined. A gentle brush of your hands together as you both reached for the last book caught both of you off-guard, his movements entirely freezing at the feeling of your skin against his again.

In the privacy of his bedroom, there was something about the touch that just felt more meaningful than anything that had come before it.

"Sorry about the mess," he quickly filled the silence with an apology before he got too lost in your hopeful eyes, before he thought too long on how exhausted you must be after everything. "You should be plenty comfortable here for the night."

You nodded in agreement and climbed into the bed, quietly moving to the opposite side and finding comfort in the first position you found yourself in. Taking in a deep breath you continued to gaze up at him, mind running through a million options as to what to do now and hoping he could see your desire written in your eyes.

Instead, he took a step back as if to leave.

"I'll see you later this afternoon, I hope, after you've gotten plenty of rest," his voice was quieter as he was conscious of you entering a relaxed state, truly hopeful it wouldn't be long before you were asleep. "Goodnight."

But as sweet as it was, it wasn't what you wanted.

"Wait," you called, reaching out to grab at his arm before he was too far away. He turned to look over his shoulder, a puzzled look on his features bringing a small smile to your own. A smile - a genuine smile. How very good it felt to do so without guilt again. "Stay…please? It's just…quiet. So quiet in my mind since the parasite is gone. I don't like feeling so…alone."

Thankfully, he'd never make you beg. He simply nodded and rubbed the back of his neck, breathing out deeply as he mentally talked himself into remaining calm - sleeping in a bed together was hardly something to get all worked up over.

"I suppose I will sleep much better knowing you are."

For as nervous as he now felt, he was thankful he was still managing to form coherent and articulate sentences. He was still living through the embarrassment of tripping over his words in front of you the first time you'd met.

"Then please.""

Eager to ensure you didn't have to repeat the plea again he only gave in to your desire, climbing into the bed next to you and trying not to feel overwhelmed by your scent flooding his senses. He stayed on his back for a moment deciding it was for the best as he decided exactly what he wanted to do - what the best way to continue the night was.

What didn't take much thought was the feeling that crackled in the air around the two of you, an undeniable mutual want drawing the two of you nearer. And yet, neither of you knew how to seize the moment that was presented to you, new worries taking root in your minds.

He was so thankful when you were the one to break the eilsnce.

"You said you worried it would be a long time since you saw me again."

"Yes, I did."

"Why did that worry you?"

"I suppose…"

His response trailed off as he elected to consider his words carefully, taking a moment to form them in his brain to ensure they were exactly what he wanted. No words - even magical ones - would ever be enough, and even if they were he was hardly the type of man willing to express them.

But for you? He'd do whatever h could manage.

"I suppose I am quite fond of you," he breathed out, admitting to himself inwardly that it did feel good to finally admit it aloud. "Though I find your heroics insufferable and wish desperately that you could practice a little more selfishnesses quite a bit more often, I…enjoy your company. I did not want to go long without it."

He was certain he'd chosen the right words when his eyes found your face again, greeted with the sight of complete and utter adoration. It had been a long time since someone had looked at him this way - it was instantly a sight he wanted to see forever.

"I was selfish…after the battle," you explained, biting at your lip nervously - a habit he found quite cute, no matter how many times he'd reprimand you in the future for it. "Everyone offered me a place beside them. I could be helping in so many places - I had so many choices."

He waited for you to continue your story, understanding that something like this may take extra time. If there was anyone that deserves it, it was you.

"I chose to stay in Baldur's Gate."

He could feel that you were burning beside him - your temperature had easily spiked. Were you embarrassed at such a confession? He hardly thought admitting to stay in the city warranted such a fuss, though he also wasn't going to be one to shut you down.

"No doubt you'll be detrimental to the city's rebuilding efforts."

"I intend to be, but that's not why I chose to stay," you offered a light smile and released a shaky breath before you continued with your confession to him, glad you could get it out now and that the suit hadn't died alongside you. "I chose to stay…for you, Rolan. To be near you. I wasn't ready to…to move on."

The realization washed over his face like a wave and he was very aware that he was burning now, unable to stop the smile that spread across his features - or the fact that he'd been moving closer throughout the lunch.

"It seems my worries were matched by your own."

He was mocking you playfully, in a way that only he was truly capable of. You adored when he was in a mood like this. If he was in the mood to flirt, you were more than happy to oblige.

"I'd love to not worry myself over you someday, Rolan."

"And I you," he agreed with a nod, his handsome smile still covering his features. It was lighthearted and peaceful yet serious and intense - you'd happily go mad trying to understand all the different sides to him. "Do you think that day will come?"

"Perhaps if we watch one another," you offered, knowing you had no intent of removing yourself from his side anytime soon if no one forced it. "Every day, to be safe."

Slow movement caught your vision from the corner of your eye as one of his hands reached up to cup your face in one hand, cutting what the conversation could've blossomed into short. Your joking expression melted away into serenity once again masked with bashfulness. You were nervous at what his next move was - you bit at your bottom lip to prove it. He adored seeing you behave so…smitten?…for him and couldn't resist the opportunity for more.

"I am so glad you are here," he breathed out deeply, unwilling to mask his thoughts from you anymore, feeling already that he'd wasted enough time. "That you chose this. That your decisions lead you here, to me. I wouldn't trade this moment for anything."

Your own hand joined his, laying atop his as your eyes fluttered shut. You held his hand against your face as you moved closer, propping yourself up on one elbow. When you were certain you'd be greeted with the exact sight you wanted you opened your eyes, taking in the sight of him gazing up at you patiently, waiting for whatever word you'd offer him next.

"You're quite a prize for saving the world.""

"And I haven't even thanked you properly," his thumb brushed across your bottom lip slowly, his hand then slipping to the back of your head to pull you downward, closer to him. Your faces were mere inches apart, the anticipation of a kiss waiting to be claimed growing by the second. "May I?"

It was a quick nod you offered that was barely finished before he was claiming your lips in his own. It was the sweetest, most delicate and heartfelt kiss you'd been given in your life thus far, all-consuming and addicting immediately. You pressed closer to him as you lost yourself in the kiss, singularly focused on how perfectly his lips moved with yours to the point his tail winding around one of your legs went fairly unnoticed.

The two of you only pulled away from air, both of you immediately breaking into a small fit of giggles, nuzzling your noses together in pure joy. As you laid your heads back down on the edges of your pillows so you could remain close you gazed upon one another with an adoration that could go unspoken for now - your shared devotion was perfectly clear. Your hands found each other between your bodies and he placed his atop yours in silence, enjoying the first true peaceful moment in so long for a moment, reminding himself it wasn't selfish to stop and appreciate you - particularly at this hour.

His tail released your leg to drape over your waist instead, pushing you closer to his form until you were burying your face in his neck. The warmth and his scent combined with how one of his arms also wrapped around you gently was lulling you to sleep before you'd even found the perfect position. Though really, any position with Rolan would be perfect in your mind.

"Goodnight, sweet hero."

You were already asleep, his hopeful sentence gone unheard by yours ears as the exhaustion finally overtook you and you succumbed to the comfort of resting beside him. Waving an arcane lock toward the door to ensure the two of you would go uninterrupted for as long as he could keep you in the bed.

The world and all its troubles could be forgotten awhile while the two of you found tranquility in your shared solitude - and neither of you would have it any other way.

masterlist. baldur's gate III masterlist.

[majinbangus]

Majin~ idk if my original ask sent so I'm gonna send it again just in case, Tumblr must find my asks delicious bc they get eaten like 85% of the time 🥲

Hello! Idk it you're taking requests now, or if you've already done this prompt/theme before, but I was wondering what it'd be like to be one of the many people Johnny flirts with on base, and you brush it off bc he's such a flirt. And yes, while Johnny will flirt with just about anyone bc thats his default setting, he's low-key going out of his mind bc he wants you to see that with you, it's different! It's genuine and sincere! What will it take for you to realize that the only person he's got a huge crush on is you?

Idk just wanted to see this from your perspective! No worries if you don't feel like writing anything for this, still love ya!! 😘

hey anon, sorry for the wait, getting my groove back slowly, but here it is. i might do another version of this some other time tho bc i had another vision for it but ended up with this

You don't know why he's been so affectionate with you lately. His playful flirting has gotten excessive, too. It's weird. He's being weird.

It's not like you dislike the attention, but you know he doesn't mean anything by it. That's just how he is. You know you're firmly designated as ‘friend’ in his eyes. A painful fact you've known ever since he made that comment to his ex about never seeing you in a different light because you ‘weren't his type.’ 

Yeah, that stung a bit, and you were a little offended, but that was more ego talking and less romantic feelings at the time. 

Unfortunately, things have changed. Feelings have changed. Yours, specifically.

You don't quite remember when exactly it happened, but you know it was sometime during the last few months of his last relationship. That was an agonizing time, and over a year since the end of that relationship plus several flings later, you're still pathetically pining over a man who will never see you as anything more than a friend because quote ‘he could never be attracted to someone who wasn’t his type’ unquote.

Now, you have to put on a smile and pretend it doesn't make your heart malfunction whenever he flashes that dimpled smile at you, or when he rests an arm over your shoulder while he walks next to you calling you all sorts of pet names he's never called you before. Not to mention all the times he feeds you a piece of his lunch, and when he grabs your wrist and makes you feed him. That barely scratches the surface of his newfound behavior around you.

Soap has never shown you more flirtation than the usual shallow amount he gives to anyone he's not dating. To be bathed in it out of nowhere is a shock to your system. An enigma you can't comprehend, nor are you eager to question it lest you lose his sudden affection. And despite the delusional part of you wishing he meant something by it, deep down you know it's simply false hope making you imagine the romantic adoration reflecting in those pretty ocean blues of his.

“–so what do you say?”

“I'm sorry, what?” You blink a few times, trying to force yourself to focus on Soap and not how bright his eyes are, or how warm his body feels pressed up against yours with his arm slung around your shoulder. He's so close, it's making your heart do fireworks.

“I asked if you wanna meet up next time we're on leave? We rarely hang out outside of work and drinks at the pub.”

“I can't.” It's not that you don't want to, but you don't really see the logic behind it, either. “One, we don’t live remotely close to each other, and two, I have family coming to visit.”

Soap laughs at your excuses, tightening his arm and pulling you impossibly closer. “That just means I can meet them, love! I've been meaning to sight see where you’re from anyway!”

It's your turn to bark out an incredulous laugh. “Sight see what? Soap, the city I live in is shit.”

“Och, can't be that bad if the locals are half as lovely as you, darlin’.”

“That was terrible!” You giggle, nearly doubling over at his cheesy flirtation, but despite yourself, you can't stop the fluttering in your heart, hoping he doesn't realize how much you actually like his attention and stupid charming words, or how you can barely share the same space with him without feeling like your chest is going to burst, or the obvious hearts in your eyes every time you look at him. “Please tell me you use better lines than that!”

Soap pays no mind to your laughter with that lopsided smile on his lips. He stares at you with those stupid, pretty blue eyes, strong arm still around you almost as if he's staking some kind of claim on you, like a leash or collar. You wish that was the case. You'd give anything to be marked as his.

“They seemed to work for me so far.” 

“Oh, really?”

“Aye.”

“Psh, then save the cheese for someone you want.”

“What if I want you?”

“What?” He sounds so earnest you have to stop a moment, shrugging off his arm, and turning to face him. Soap doesn’t flinch, staring back at you with such intensity you laugh uncomfortably to ease the growing tension in your chest. “Ha, ha. Very funny, Soap. You almost got me.”

“I’m being serious. I want you.”

“Since when?”

It’s a genuine question. You’re not playing dumb intentionally–well, maybe a little–but after so long of pining after him, this is something you need him to spell out for you. Even then, a part of you is ready to laugh off whatever he says next. 

Because what you have with Soap doesn’t go any deeper than a close friendship. It never has and never will be anything more than that. Even when you want it to be more, you know he’d never love someone like you. 

“Soap?” You tilt your head at him when he doesn’t answer. His smile has dropped and he’s looking at you with that cute frown of his you’ve always loved. The one when he’s deep in thought, doing all sorts of calculations or analysis on whatever has him stumped. 

“I don’t know how I can be any clearer, hen.” He talks slowly. Low and soft as if in disbelief. “Thought I’ve been obvious with my flirtin.”

“We ‘flirt’ all the time!” You laugh, trying to deflect the growing hope you feel. “We’re friends, Soap. Stop messing with me! Besides, I know I’m not your type.”

Surprisingly, he sounds offended when he asks, “Where’d you get that idea?” 

“What, that I’m not your type? You said it.”

“When?”

“When you were with what’s-her-face? The crazy possessive instagram model.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’, that always stuck with me, so thanks for that.”

“I didn’t mean it.”

You give a derisive laugh. “Then why’d you say it?”

“She was insecure.” Soap furrows his brows in regret, running a hand through his mohawk. “I thought I liked her at the time, so I said it to make her feel better. She didn't like you.”

“That’s a nice way of putting it,” You mutter bitterly. “I respected boundaries, and she always thought I was trying to ‘steal you from her.’”

Soap mumbles under his breath, “Don’t think I would have complained if you did.”

“What was that?”

“Nothin’, bon.” He sighs, the tension falling out of his shoulders before he squares them again, staring at you in a way that makes your breath catch. “Listen. I know it might be hard to believe, but I’m not takin’ the piss. If you give me the chance, let me prove how serious I am about you.”

“Soap…”

“Darlin’...”

Fuck. A flash of those blue eyes and you can feel yourself hope. Would it really hurt to give in? Just this once? Maybe, maybe not.

Sighing, you inwardly scold yourself knowing you’re jumping headfirst into the unknown, but…

 “Fine. One chance.”

Soap’s never broken that trust before, and from the grin on his face, it tells you he’ll always be there to catch you.

“One chance is all I need.”

[rin-and-jade]

A Cup, and A Thread: A Post About System Communication

Hey, you know classic string telephone? The one made with two plastic cups and a piece of yarn, i suppose you recognize that old-school science toy? It's one of the simplest inventions that showcases how messages are sent from one place to another!

This little invention is very fitting to explain how inner communication works, so i hope today's theme of analogy will help you understand all of my messages im about to share, with a twist of a fiber.

There's a lot of things i want to address on this topic, thanks to all my 8 great friends who had helped me gather a variety of insights on what seems to be the problem, i have the answers right here that will be shared to the community, because of them!

You know what communication is?

I sure do, but let's both revise on what it means, according to Merriam-Webster, it's defined as..

"a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior."

It also means "a technique for expressing ideas effectively."

..Alright, we should be in the same page now, but, do we actually know what counts as 'good' communication in system context? After some examination from the given data, it was a resounding "No." This can also mean many may not have a clear idea on it, which will also be addressed.

Okay, tell me please?

Before i do tell, remember that communication is diverse, with no perfect or right way to do so. Just like animals, where different species use unique methods to pull it off, means can systems have their own unique styles too.

There are a few examples we see in animals; like how some use pheromones to talk to its own kind, while some read off from their signature body languages, and some use tones or cues that is meant to be recognized specifically, to each their own meanings.

So, good communication means ensuring that everyone in the system can understand and receive messages effectively which eases functioning and cooperation, regardless of how frequent or indirect the communication may be.

For us, systems have unique internal methods of communication that are based on how our brains function, not having any unique features in animals. These methods are very personal, so find what works best for you.

Here are the common styles so far:

Verbal: Where you talk aloud, or in a media like notes.

Abstract vibes: Where you speak no words, which encompasses feelings, or concepts, or ideas, that can be "felt" instead of heard or seen.

Images: Where the share of messages are conveyed through memories, expressive actions or symbols that are projected in the mind.

Direct thoughts: Where an internal dialogue is present, parts communicate using this inner voice, that can vary in different accents and intonations.

The media represents a lot of the stereotypical kind, direct thoughts, while the rest are less recognized. These four kinds are not limited to, but are the ones often represented, they are equally as important and real.

It's important to note that alters within a system can have different communication styles, or the collective may share the same style. You can't force yourself to use a particular kind, so focus on practicing and mastering your style.

..But there's many problems!

Which is why it's a good idea to educate yourself and find proper solutions in order to resolve them. I know some of them at best, as there might be issues i have not heard of, though will still be shared.

Consider a clear communication between two alters with an example of both cups, connected to the string with no obstructive noise at the background while exchanging messages, one conveys the content clearly, and the other hears and received with maximum clarity/understanding. This will be our main example that will be used to compare with the problems that usually arise in this topic.

The problem with multi-talking

Now, to explain interruptions from another part would be like having an extra string-attached cup tied to the middle of the initial cup, now with two inputs and one receiver, the messages will overlap each other and become obscured.

This can be resolved by being aware, then slowing down when talking and take turns between each other to avoid clashes which can easily overwhelm or confuse the receiver, or even the sender itself since losing track of thought or words can happen.

The problem with worser performance from stress

When stress happens, this can sometimes mess up your state to receive messages, imagine that outwards stressors had pulled and tugged your thread, now a bit twisted out and weak, which still can be used to communicate and hear, but now in a weaker clarity.

Because parts communicate mostly from internal ways, our brain networks are responsible to allow when activities inside (that doesn't necessarily involve system things) can happen. Just like how imagination runs in a mind that's wandering off, stress alerts you instead, snapping off from any safe or calm activities until the 'threat' is resolved.

You can gain temporary clarity by calming yourself down and bring all your focus to send your messages if any responds, if it doesn't happen, it would be best to wait it out until you naturally feel at ease once more, or solve the issue at hand and try again afterwards.

This may not work when you are in a fight or flight response, if you do got cutted off and need to contact anyone from inside, try using strong triggers to probe a response.

The problem with ineffective communication

It is like talking to a part who uses a rubber strand instead of cotton string as its mediator. Threads can conduct finer vibrations that can preserve the original verbal message, while rubber can represent for those who use vibes, as they're more broad and less specific. So if they attempt to talk to you with rubber, you might not receive it's message well,

This can be solved with having another part that are flexible or able to decipher, or find the middle ground where both can exchange better. (e.g. texts)

The problem of talking outside your subgroup

This is where it gets tricky, because there is a notable difference in communication where it's easier to converse inside your group while it's harder to converse outside of your group. What i mean by group is they are the people you meet and talk the most and have easy time communicating.

Imagine that the same group has the same length of the thread, the shorter, the better it retains or transfers message with no effort. Talking outside of your group would require you an extra pair of string telephone, but this time the thread is long as you're talking to another neighboring group, who isn't directly related with you.

Suggestions varies from trying different medias to contact with and see what works best, or rely on someone who have direct relations with the group you mean to interact with, acting as a bridge. Lowering barriers by consenting to get closer in co-conscious might do the trick too. Long term solution would be building ties to strengthen communication. (can also work with layers, better if you can 'travel' there to get direct interactions)

The problem with front and innerworld disconnection

It is normal to be out of contact from the inside when you're fronting, since this would mean you put down the cup to focus doing task or role job. To remedy this, try finding a moment to sit down or close your eyes, and feel yourself going back to your mind, since in order to contact those inside, you must lightly disconnect from the real world to focus better inwards.

The problem with having aphantasia

As if you heard the noise from the cup, but you're not sure where that sound is coming from nor aware of your surroundings as this condition blinds you visually (can vary from mild to severe, blurry/vague mental images to blank respectively).

Your innerworld is still there, using visualization is one way to immerse in, start relying on your tactile awareness, or your 'radar' that is, since it is possible to detect parts in your proximity. Rely on tangible medias such as texting or notes to keep track of things.

The problem with external noise

Having a comorbid of something, such as ADHD, autism, or OCD can create a mental chatter that exists in the background constantly.. if not most of the time, imagine that the location of the telephone is somewhere bustling, now it is harder to tell which one is intrusive, random chatters, or an alter's voice.

There is not a lot to say except learning how to separate those noises from your people, it is done best by slowing down and voice your messages wide and clear to create a distinction from such background chatter, making it easier to differentiate.

Other conditions like depression and anxiety can also affect the clarity and ease of communicating.

The problem with distinguishing others

For those with comorbids and aphantasia, this can make it much harder, though still possible! One last problem with communication is sometimes not knowing who is who, which creates obstacles in different ways. Imagine that there are multiple cups lined up to you as the receiver, this creates difficulty on pinpointing whose speaking. Thus, having problems on replying back or made sure if the first sentence relate to the second one, or it belonged to someone else.

The only solution there is, has to be a long term one. As you're suggested to slowly collect and recognize different speech pattern, assigned vibes of other parts, when they usually reply or what topics/mentions brings them up, and different accents or tone if any.

It is not required to 'know' physical attributes or what they look like, but this one will help a ton and usually the easiest way in distinguishing who is who. The solution is to go through a trial and error (arrange all the attributes you like/feel connected to, and see what sticks) and document all the findings somewhere, incase you're forgetful/difficulty memorizing.

Special mentions

It is worth knowing that communication is greatly affected by your state of mind + physical health, the conditions you have, the maturity of the alter in communicating skills, and the style you or the collective dominantly have.

That being said, having the same role, or source, or how old or new an alter is doesn't generally affect the ease of exchanging messages.

Lastly, inner communication also obeys similar rules to how conversation works in real life, this can be taken from examples:

The proximity of the talker you're with affects how much you can understand what is being said. It makes sense that you need to focus harder to hear what the mumbles meant when they're further away from you.

Being with people you can vibe along always results in a better and more effective exchange, as you don't have to explain twice for them to get the message. (mutual understanding)

How loud the environment is also affects how focused/undisturbed you are within a conversation, and it takes effort to separate the background noise to catch what they're saying.

People also have their own ways of expressing their message, some are more dominant in body language or etc. This is why it is important to recognize and understand what it means. You will always have your own dominant way of socializing, but this doesn't mean you can't learn other ways, partially.

Now comprehending the concept of system communication does become easier, right? This should serve as a good framework to start building and understanding connections.

One last phone call

I hope everything i have said here has been loud and clear, if there is a problem that has not been mentioned that needs fixing, give this string telephone a tug and i'd answer your call alright?

May this post address all the things you need more than a hotline help centre and leave with full satisfaction.

If you please, i will now indulge in the whole history of telephone strings, join me if you wish! Did you know it's originally made of tin can instead of a plastic cup?

-- The next post that will be out: all about introjection. Stay tuned!

- j

[tookishcombeferre]

What do you like most about Sofia the First?

So, not necessarily about the show in particular, but the first thing that came to mind was the way my kid sings the theme song every time it comes on. They went from silent dancing while spinning and giving me fist bumps at the end in a sort of "choreographed" manner to now twirling, jumping, and almost fully singing the song on their own.

Sometimes, they ask me "Amma watch" and sometimes "Amma dance." I am no longer required to be an active participant. Sometimes, I'm the audience.

Also, every time they wear a dress, they sing the theme song to literally anyone who will listen. Strangers at the grocery store. My spouse. Random parents at our playgroup. Literally anyone.

It has been a beautiful change to witness.

But, about the show in particular, which is what I'm assuming you meant, I'll give you my top 5 in no particular order.

I'm a huge fan of intergenerational friendships. I was partially raised by my mom's parents, and I appreciate shows that place a focus on the friend and mentorships that can occur across the generational divide. Sofia's relationship with Cedric and Amber's relationship with Baileywick often makes me smile because they bear striking similarities to my relationships with my grandfather and grandmother respectively.

As an autistic parent and one who is also (probably?) ADHD, there is a surprising amount of lore and character development for my brain to work from and with when I get bored. No one tells you when you have a kid how much time you're going to spend just folding laundry, picking up blocks, and doing relatively boring things. It's not all playing with your kid all the time. But, you do spend a decent amount of active energy doing stuff with your kid. Hence, fan theory. And, if my fan theory brain has been pushed into what she likes to watch because I'm a little too burnt out for Dostoyevsky, Hugo, and Dickens at this stage. So be it, I guess?

I just really *like* the characters. While, I sometimes think the world building can be a little flat, my husband and I often joke that the world is built like Epcot and Enchancia is the giant golf ball in the middle, I adore the characters. Every character, even the minor ones, is quirky and has a lot of personality. They remind me a lot of Tolkien's characters in that way. From Tom Bombadil, to Smeagol, to Frodo, each character is unique and memorable in The Lord of the Rings. They may not always have development, but they have personality that makes them distinctive. Sofia the First feels much the same to me. One of my favorite examples of this is Cedric's Teacher. Cedric's teacher never speaks. He appears once in a flashback. But, we know so much about him from how Cedric remembers him. He's like the freaking Tom Bombadil of Sofia the First. He appears one time, disappears into the narrative, but he's impactful. He leaves an impression. (Granted, those two characters leave very different impressions and do very different things narratively, but you get the idea.)

StF teaches literary techniques *really* well. There aren't many *narrative* stories designed for children in the 2-5 age range. My kid loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse amongst other things, and those shows are great for what they do. But, so many of those shows are geared towards teaching specific things like counting, colors, ABCs, etc. And, they're fantastic at it! Mickey Mouse Clubhouse makes multiplication accessible to the average toddler which ... I mean ... AMAZING. BUT! There is something important about complex narrative storytelling for little, little kids that is long form and not completely episodic. It's similar to what I appreciate about the third season of Bluey leading into "The Sign." However, Sofia the First sets up a mostly coherent plot arc from the pilot all the way through Season 4. My 2 year old could summarize each episode and what the characters are feeling. By 3, they'll likely be able to tell you the story of the whole show. And, I think that's important to have for an audience that young. Kids that age don't really sit through novels being read to them, and it's hard for them to retain the information from a novel because there really aren't pictures in most of them. (Toddlers need pictures. Toddlers need color. No beige parenting in my world. Sorry not sorry about it.) StF gives toddlers the experience of a novel visually. It has the arcs of a novel. It has the foreshadowing, the symbolism, the flashbacks, and the suspense that are age appropriate for them that would be present in a *novel.* The exposure to these techniques allows them to be discussed at an impossibly young age, if the parent is engaged, and, even if the parent isn't, it still provides the exposure to those concepts by their existence in the narrative. So, as a parent with a degree in English, I'm delighted that alongside shows that teach counting, colors, and the ABCs, a show like this exists for Squish to see literary techniques lovingly woven into a show at their level.

Finally, the music! I swear each episode has better music than some of the current Disney "blockbuster" movies. I'm a musician at heart, and these songs are bangers. I, unironically, sing many of them to myself in the car.

Thanks for the ask Anon! This was fun to answer. :D

[yn-honeybun]

April Showers Bring May Flowers

Bucky x black!reader

Summary: You had a crummy day at work. On top of the micro-racist remarks made by your colleagues, there was heavy traffic, and don’t forget the horrible weather. However Bucky is here to “save the day” or night more of.

⚠️ Warning⚠️ : Cursing/swearing, racism in the workplace, angsty themes (super small spat), mention of steamy things but it’s up to your imagination, it’s Bucky let’s be fr. Fluff

Word count: 810

It was one of those days that just pissed you off. You know those days where everything and I mean everything goes wrong. The traffic to work was more packed than usual because of the accident on the highway. Which made you late to your first meeting of the day. Which lead to one of your coworkers to make a snarky comment masked as a “light hearted joke”. On top of that it started raining right as you left the building on your way to your car which of course messed up your hair. Today was just such a bad day and all you wanted was to go home to the love of your life for some snuggles and loving.

Unfortunately when you made your made inside, there was a note on the coffee table saying that Bucky was gone for the night and not to wait up for him.

You cursed at the paper and started talking to yourself about how today of all days your man decided to go hang out with the boys. Rolling your eyes you took off your clothes and paced to the bedroom to change clothes. Hoping to take off the days stress you turn on the shower.

Another string of curse words flow out of your mouth when the water wasn’t getting hot fast enough.

“Woah there doll,” you jumped at the sudden voice, “What’s got your panties in a bunch. Clearly it’s not me, because they’re still on”

He walked over to you with that smirk he always had on when flirting with you.

“Not today Bucky” you sneered. You weren’t in the mood for his antics right now.

“But babe I just wanted to-”

“Shut it Barnes” you snapped looking him dead in the eye.

Even with your clothes off and his history, you intimidated the hell out of the metal arm user.

Bucky put his hands up in defense and took a step back.

Not caring about what he did next, you stepped into the shower. The hot water felt good on your skin. Almost as if it was melting off the horrific day you just had. As the water hit you, you recalled your day. Out of all the days for heavy traffic, it had to have been today. You had a very important meeting with a very important person. You were used to the side comments Janice made at your expense, but today’s stung a bit worse. And you had just gotten your hair done specifically for this meeting. And of course it rained, ruining it all up.

“Shitty traffic, shitty Janice, shitty weather” you mumbled “Can’t wait til I have my own company. I’ll show that bitch who really cares about her position”

A couple moments of silence pass by and you could hear was the slight splash of the water hitting your body and the tub.

“You mind telling me what happened” Bucky spoke up.

“Yeah I do”

“Come on doll” he pleaded, “I tell you about my nightmares”

You had to admit, Bucky was trying here.

Ever since going to therapy you forced him to, he learned to be a bit more open. Even though he’s one hell of a stubborn man, he listened to you. Because he loved you.

Goddamn it you loved him too, even as mad as you were.

You let out a deep breath. One you didn’t know you were holding.

“Come on Bucks,” you said inviting him into the shower, “and before you think about it, NO”

Bucky knew that meant no fooling around and strictly meant business. He knew not to piss you off anymore. Otherwise he might become the focus of your anger.

He took off his clothes and joined you in the shower.

While in the shower you narrate the day you just had, not leaving a single detail out.

Bucky stood behind you listening to you speak. He massaged your head and every so often would kiss your shoulder.

After your shower he stated he was going to take over cooking and suggested you relax on the sofa. Bucky had started the final steps of cooking whatever meal you asked for, when you walked up behind and gave him a hug. A little apology if you will.

You ate a delicious meal and he took care of the dishes while you waited for him on the sofa.

Once he was done, he gave you a much needed massage.

“I know we have our separate lives but we’re a unit,” he stated, “we suppose to be able to work together and talk to each other about our problems”

You chuckled, “is that so?”

“Yeah…at least that’s what my therapist says”

He kissed you right on your forehead

Then your cheek

Then your nose

And finally he gently kissed your lips

You kissed back, making it more passionate. Almost in a instant the atmosphere switched. Any bad feelings quickly faded with each kiss and second passing.

Next thing you knew was waking up the next day wrapped up in the former Winter Soldier’s arms.

Today was going to be a good day, you could feel it.

[cleabellanov]

Jet-Skiing through Identity: a deep dive into Mobius M. Mobius (part 1) 🚤

The story started when you said hello.

Our first interaction with this character dates back almost three years now, on the 9th of June 2021. That was when the first episode of the Loki series was released.

So it goes: we see Mobius at the guiding side character, someone to follow in this vast new space the main character is suddenly thrown in. He is a calm, steady figure. However, his serious status as an analyst not cancelling a friendly character. The first ever shot in the series introduces Mobius under the sunlight. The following scenes show him speaking French to a little girl, proving a soothing behavior despite the tight situation they were in.

For someone who works at the TVA, he shows to be quite open minded. He, of course, has a very analytical mind - while still considerating he could think outside the box, whereas other of his colleagues wouldn't accept that a box exists. Even having studied variants, having a focus point is Loki, and knowing the danger it would bring to have to trust one, he still gives this variant a chance. More than that, he takes full responsability for it: when Ravonna says: "If anything goes sideways, it's on you" he responds with a relaxed "Okay".

The first impression Mobius leaves is, therefore, one of a relaxed, almost joyful one.

Although meant to be playful, his response to Loki's threat to "burn this place to the ground" with a flippant "I'll show you my office, you can start there" hints at a potential underlying dissatisfaction with his own situation within the TVA.

But that's not all, and when the easygoing dialogue doesn't work to get under Loki's skin (which couldn't have happened so easily anyway) we get to see where studying variants brought Mobius: to knowing how to manipulate through emotions, using the information at his hands. The only way to get Loki talking was to shatter the illusion he was maintaining, and Mobius knew that. Being able to see this variant for what they truly are proves his smartness, but "lack" of empathy. However, it is more of a block than a lack- for the sake of efficiency- as a consequence of not only working, but living your entire life in the TVA. As a consequence to this, great strenght is also required to keep your true nature instead of just letting it be erased by time and the utter dedication to the time keepers- the only beings allowed to tell right from wrong. Mobius proves that strenght too.

Then, in the second episode of the series, the frame narrows down: from the big scheme to a lower one. Now, a more comfortable theme seems to be growing in the atmosphere between these two characters. We can see Loki sitting with his feet on a desk, magazine in hand, having a small quarrel with Miss Minutes. This is when we find out that Mobius still has more to introduce about himself. There is something that gets him closer to the viewers: having a personal interest with no specific corrrelation with the rest of the story: jet skis.

Going on the first mission of finding the rogue Loki variant (Sylvie, as she is later called) Mobius doesn't let himself be fooled away by Loki's silver tongue, even if in attempt to give him the chance he brought him in for, he almost gets into his play. "You almost had me for a second. My ears are sharp too" Therefore, this character with a first impression of a calm guide and a comic relief isn't to be underestimated. Just because he believes in his cause (collaborating with Loki to fin his variant) it doesn't make him a fool. -> If you have to courage to believe in something impossible, you also have the strength to make it possible.

There is also a soft jelaousy in his character; and seen not only in his attitude towards Loki finding an ally in Sylvie. It's there when talking to Ravonna Renslayer about "other analysts", and the traces left by them in her office.

This might appear as a personal pride, when for Mobius, it is more like a fear: he's afraid of being abandoned or replaced. (Remember the "Who's gonna miss an old analyst with a heart of gold" from season 2?) This internalized feeling therefore translates to the jelaousy we see on screen (or the blocking of emotions once again, but we'll get to that later).

Ravonna's "I know you have a soft spot for broken things" reveales how this character always cared, maybe more than he should have. This desire to help Loki get better (spoiler: he succeeds) is rooted in his own heart, in need of the same care he is giving away. -> Look at you comforting others with the words you wish to hear.

It also grows quickly into something more, that strictly has to do with this variant, a sympathy that is not put into words, but is seen in actions.

He once again proves to be gentle with Loki, despite the latest mission not going the way he was supposed to. He's stubborn, still wanting to go his way even when there are so many others: safer, and that conform to the TVA. He wants to give Loki his daggers back (LOVE IS A DAGGER WHO?!?), clear proof that he is confident in what he is doing. While the potential consequences outweigh his previous actions , Mobius's determination stays the same.

The one unforeseen factor that disrupts his meticulously ordered plan is Loki's escape through the time door after Sylvie bombed the sacred timeline. For the first time, we see Mobius's cool crack, his frantic calls of "Loki!" echoing in vain.

[johanna-swann]

What do you mean they’re playing both sides? I have the same thoughts, but I’d like to hear your take on it if you don’t mind

Oh, careful what you wish for. I love these kinds of questions and usually use them as an excuse to go on particularly long rants.

What I'm referring to specifically here is some tweets I saw screenshots of in the 911 tag earlier and that made me think: "Oh the buddie baiting is strong in this one." There are different levels to this, different players or stakeholders if you will each with their own agenda.

First we have the interviewer. If he wanted to actually focus on Eddie as an individual character you'd think he'd at least mention Eddie's child by name. I mean, nobody has spoken the names "Marisol", "Kim" or "Shannon" all season - Christopher is the part of this story line they've decided to focus on so far and basically all of Eddie's important scenes in 8a featured a conversation with or about Chris. But instead of bringing that up the interviewer makes sure to specifically mention that he asked about "what's going on between [...] Eddie & Buck" and in a follow-up tweet even promises that not once in his interview were they described as "brothers". The clickbait could not be more obvious, he's pandering to a very specific sub-group of the fandom here. This is an interview for the Buddie shippers. People who care about Eddie's development outside of the shipping question? They can cope without details. It's a Ryan Guzman interview, what more do you need to know?

This has become very normal for 911 related interviews in a way, at least as far as Oliver Stark and Ryan Guzman are concerned. Them not being asked about the ship has become the exception, interviews with at least one Buddie question are the norm. Even other cast and crew members get asked about this on a regular basis, especially Tim Minear. And I sort of get it, I don't like or approve of these clickbait articles, but I get the logic behind it. These online tv articles are mostly read by fans who spend time online as fans and shippers make up a big part of that crowd. There have been many Buddie themed interviews and so far it hasn't meant anything or led anywhere.

This ambiguity also means that Ryan Guzman himself went into the interview with the intention of keeping Buddie shippers' hopes up (no judgement intended). Last year we got several interviews in which he mentioned how important it is to him to portray the "friendship" between a "straight" and a "bisexual" man, etc. In this newest interview he seems to be aiming for a different tone - or at least so the interviewer suggests in his tweets. Why would Ryan Guzman change or adjust his stance on this topic? Probably because Tim Minear or somebody else with similar amount of relevance told him to.

Actors do not just say whatever they like in these interviews. They are told by the higher-ups if there are important things they should bring up or, the other way around, if there are things they absolute cannot say. If "the powers that be" of 911 didn't want the Buddie shippers to think there's something going on then they would take a clearer stance (and they wouldn't film scenes like that leaked good-bye hug out in the open). Then again the interviewer highlights the "open" answers he got from RG, so I'm almost sure that there is nothing in that interview that would actually indicate imminent Buddie canon to anyone looking at it at least a little objectively. Keeping us guessing is keeping the buzz alive in the long run and that's what they need more than anything: For the show to be talked about.

In-universe there are also Buck's and Eddie's unfinished story lines to consider. Eddie is still a complete mess and Buck has not stopped baking or thinking about Tommy yet. Not that 911 has been writing particularly sensible plots recently, but throwing a new relationship into the mix on top of everything else doesn't make much sense to me.

Thinking further into the future, I don't even think that Buddie has zero chances and is under no circumstances ever going to happen. Personally I think that maybe no final decision has been made about it yet either way and everyone involved acts and speaks accordingly.

That's an interesting philosophical question though: Is it still baiting if the 911 gods themselves don't know what they're going to do yet?

I put a cut here because I got side tracked thinking about why I don't believe Buddie will go canon unless the show is about to end.

Eddie and Buck are the two characters on the show where the writers still have a lot of wiggle room in regards of where their journeys are going. Athena and Bobby are going to stay married and keep doing their jobs because otherwise what is the show going to do with them? Hen will stay married with kids, she'll keep her job with the 118 and maybe they'll bring back the work vs. family conflict (the show has been very uncreative in writing exciting stories for her), but what else are they going to do with her character? Chimney and Maddie are going to stay together, they're married now, they have a second kid on the way - what more is the show going to do with them?

There will be short story lines about struggles or disasters or maybe some fun B-plots, but that's it. The show is not going to kill off or break up any of these couples. Maybe Athena or Bobby or both of them will retire / take a desk job shortly before the show ends for good, but until then they won't make any major changes to their lives. Same goes for job opportunities for Hen and Chim. Hen might take over as Captain of the 118 eventually, Chim might take a job at the academy, but none of that is going to happen before the show ends for good because they can't very well split the 118 up before then. Maddie might become floor manager or something, but she needs to stay with the call centre because 911 needs a main character at the call centre to keep functioning.

Either way, a happy end for all 5 of will include them staying with the partner they've been with since forever, still doing the job they love and have had since forever (maybe pepper in a well earned promotion or retirement towards the end) and still being part of the firefam that has existed since forever. We know where their stories end because they're already there.

Buck and Eddie? There is room here, but only if they keep the Buddie question unanswered for now. The very second those two get together we'll know they're endgame - just like we new Madney would be endgame the second they met and just like we knew Bathena would stick together from the start. The moment they answer the Buddie question with "yes", they close every and each opportunity on any surprise twists with serious long term effects. With every other love interest there would be a "will they or won't they last" phase, but Buddie? If they actually went canon then the answer would be "they will". We could still watch Buddie pass the relationship milestones, but there wouldn't be anymore big surprises. 911 would have all their main characters backed into corners with no more room for actual twists to their stories and what kind of show would that be?

Right now we know nothing. Buck might end up dating a woman again. He could end up with a guy. Or a non-binary third option. He might end up moving out of the loft for a different reason. He could decide to adopt a kid without having a partner. Eddie might decide to stay single and concentrate on other things. He might go to therapy again, finally bury Shannon's ghost. The point is we don't know yet, anything could happen and that's part of what keeps the show exciting.

Aside from "keeping their options fluid", the show might also tread carefully on account of the (current) political climate in the US. The show is often described, praised even as very diverse, but is it really?

All the important female characters on the show are married and have children. Actually all the couples are married and have (step) children. Many of the the female characters' story lines revolve around being caretakers: For Carla it's literally her job, Abby is taking care of her mother, Ana is a teacher and Eddie dates her in an attempt to replace his wife, Hen & Karen always get settled with a custody battle story line, Eva only ever comes back to stir up trouble because of Denny, Shannon to this day is mostly the mother of his child in Eddie's mind.

There's exactly one disabled character who is still a child and logically not a first responder. Mental illnesses like Eddie's ptsd and Maddie's ppd are very temporary struggles that can be dropped when a plot line is over and not chronic illnesses. [This makes a little sense for Maddie's ppd, but she also mentions in 5x12 that she has often struggled with depression and suicidal ideation since Daniel died. Yet we never see her have a depressive episode outside tof the season 5 arc.] Buck's chronic pain issues post-ladder truck explosion are purely fanon and Bobby's chronic back pain is only mentioned in a single flashback.

The only religious characters are (Catholic) Christians.

Recently the show has focused a lot on the characters in their nuclear families instead of strengthening the friendships, I'm far from the first or only person to have noticed that.

They gave Captain Arsehole Gerrard a make-over in between seasons which turned him from a slur-spouting bigot into a grumpy grandpa who got his own happy ending working on a tv show with an actor he admires while Ortiz, a woman of colour in a political leadership position, was revealed to be the devil incarnate who got all the blame and all the punishment. Not sure I would've done it that way.

Then there is of course the never-ending copaganda.

Specifically on the topic of queer 911 characters: Until very recently the show had only one type of queer character: "Cut and dried cases" of homosexual characters who appeared rather gender-conforming, led amatonormative life styles (married with kids) and as black characters were already part of 911's "woke agenda" anyway, if I may put it that drastically. Oh, and Josh was there, but as Maddie's personal gay bbf / sidekick with barely any story lines for himself he isn't exactly ground breaking representation in my humble opinion. Of course it's still great to have these characters, especially a couple of black lesbians, but up until season 7 911 represented only gender- and amatonormal gays and lesbians. No trans characters, no aro or ace characters, no m-spec characters, no polyam characters, no ambiguously/unlabeled queer characters. I wanted to point that out.

Now we also have Buck which I count as a big win. They took thee cis-het white man of the show and made him queer 7 seasons into the show. There was some backlash about this last year though and I really am doubtful that 911 would turn both their young single macho men queer while they're already wrestling with slowly declining viewing figures and getting their frankly ridiculous budget approved which they need to keep this show running. That all on top of the recent and ongoing political events. DEI who?

Again, I'm not saying there is no way, but even if they do want to get there (Buddie canon) eventually - if the show wants to keep running for a couple more seasons they will probably wait before making any irreversible decisions on Eddie's sexuality. Until then they will allow more Buddie centric interviews and give vague non-answers, appeasing both people who don't want the ship to go canon and those who want nothing more.

[aspoonofsugar]

what do you think of Cherrisnake? How do you the relationship will forward in season 2 now that sir pentious is in heaven and Cherri Bomb is still in hell?

What do you think of Huskerdust? What do you think the relationship is gonna be like coming forward season 2?

Hi!

I am answering your two asks together because I think Cherrisnake and Huskerdusk may work very well as foils!

First of all, I like both ships, as I like all the canon/set up ships in hazbin and helluva :)

When it comes to Hazbin Hotel specifically, I think there are four major ships (so far):

Chaggie

Huskerdusk

Lucilith

Cherrisnake

Chaggie is obviously at the heart of the story, as Charlie is the protagonist, Vaggie the deuteragonist and their bond comments their respective developments. Angel is set up as the tritragonist so far, so obviously his ship is pretty important, as well. Lucifer and Lilith are not protagonists, but their love story is kind of the beginning of the whole conflict and they are meant to foil Chaggie, so they are gonna be important. Cherrisnake is then probably going to comment on Huskerdust specifically and to tie into the main theme of the story. Specifically, loves saves:

You're gonna fight without gloves And when that push comes to shove Yeah, you just might rise above, long as you're out for love

In general, I like that these ships are set up to all have different dynamics:

Chaggie are already a couple, but they have unhealthy aspects they need to work through

Huskerdusk are a slowburn, so we are gonna see them slowly develop feelings for each other

Lucilith are on a break, so I think we are gonna explore their problems and see them rekindle their relationship

Cherrisnake seem so far to parody some very common tropes, like enemies to lovers and star-crossed lovers, as now Cherry is in Hell and Pentious is in Heaven

After this intro, I am gonna focus on the two specific ships.

HUSKERDUSK

I agree with what @hamliet said in her meta. I think that their relationship started with Husk teaching Angel to accept he is a loser:

We're both losers, baby We're losers, it's okay to be a Coked-up, dick-suckin' ho? Baby, that's fine by me I'm a loser, honey A schmoozer and a dummy But at least I know I'm not alone You're a loser Just like me

But as the story goes on, Angel will teach Husk they can become winners. In other words, they can find redemption:

Did I hear you imply That they don't deserve death? Are they Winners? Are they Sinners? 'Cause it's cut and dry

So far, Angel has had more focus than Husk and is the one who has made more progress in his arc. Husk instead has acted as the good wise old man, but has made no personal progress and is behaving as if he accepts he can't get better. That is because both him and Angel are trapped in a contract with another demon:

It is probable that Angel is soon going to free himself, which might inspire Husk to try doing the same, as well. Or at least to try and stand up to Alastor more, especially if Alastor's actions are going to put Husk's new found family in danger (and they will). That said, both Angel and especially Husk are gonna screw up before they can be together :''')

Anyway, I like them. They are opposites. Angel is rather young, fully expresses his own sexuality to the point he uses sex for self-harm and he is heart. Husk is older, he is reserved when it comes to sexual stuff and he is mind.

CHERRISNAKE

I don't have strong predictions about the ship for the simple reason that the relationship has been explored less than others. In particular, Cherri has appeared very little and her arc has just been set up and still needs to happen. That said, I think they are gonna foil Huskerdusk simply because both Pentious and Cherri are foils of Angel.

Both Pentious and Angel are initially linked to the Vees and are the first two demons who join the hotel. Not only that, but they are opposites in the reason they join. Pentious says he is repentant (lol), but really wants to spy on Alastor. Angel instead wants to change deep down, but hides it and says he joins to have a home for free. Charlie also believes in their eventual redemption, but she messes up when it comes to why and when :''') Initially, she thinks Pentious is gonna redeem himself first and doesn't realize he is faking his interest in the hotel. Then, she argues in Heaven that Angel is making the most progress... except that Pentious is really the first to find redemption... Basically they are characters used to highlight how little Charlie understands redemption, despite her passion about it.

Both Cherri and Angel are instead addicted and prisoners of their self-destructive behaviors. Angel is dependent on drugs and trapped in an abusive relationship with Val. Cherri is instead probably a survivor to a relationship (maybe abusive???) that ended up pretty badly. Let's just say I don't think it is by chance that when Angel invites her at the hotel she insists she is fine... only to then immediately say she is gonna have sex with a stranger:

Angel Dust: There's room for everyone, and ya know… you could come crash with us too. Cherri: Okay, look, Angie, I'm glad this hotel shit is workin' for you, but you know me, bitch, I'm doin' just fine! In fact, I'm gonna fuck the next guy I see, okay? But if you need me, you know where to find me, yeah? Sir Pentious: *panting* Is Cherri still here? [Cherri walks into the sex room with another demon.] Dammit!

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing bad with casual sex, but the set up is about Cherri refusing to face her own demons, while having fun in superficial relationship. This is highlighted even more by Pentious instead trying to court her the whole evening only to be ignored in the end.

The set-up and endgame is clear... Cherri will rediscover love and a healthy bond through Pentious. However, she will first have to work on herself at the hotel to reach him. Meanwhile, Pentious will need to face himself in Heaven, without his new-found support system (which is very interesting). As a matter of fact Pentious has the potential to be a subversion/deconstruction of the redemption through death trope. Usually the redemption through death goes like this:

A character is evil, but eventually has a change of heart

They do a good deed, but die while doing so

If the story is at least decent, the sacrifice will accomplish something big and probably help the protagonist win in some way

Pentious's death is a parody of this, as he marches to risk his life and defeat Adam, but is killed without accomplishing anything and in an anti-climatic way. Except that it was his intention that mattered, so he is still redeemed. That said, here comes the thing with redemption through death... if used poorly it is a cheap way to avoid letting a character deal with the consequences of his actions. Basically they die before they can really change and be tested through their change... So, here comes the question: is Pentious redemption through death enough for him to have fully overcome the flaws that landed him into hell? Imo nope, obviously. So, he will have to keep on working on himself even in Heaven and may realize redemption is an ongoing process.

In short, if Huskerdusk is mostly about redemption as way to feel better about yourself and to find freedom again. I think that for Cherrisnake redemption might be having to work on yourself day after day until you are worthy and ready to start a happy relationship.

These are my thoughts on the two ships. Thank you for the asks!

[good-beanswrites]

Okay, kyanako said that I can ask for a director's commentary on the fic you wrote for me.

Is there anything you’d like to share about writing this fic? Any thoughts during the writing? Maybe any questions for me?

Not you too 😭😭😭 Haha, but thank you for the option to ask you questions, because I actually do have a few! My normal commentary is in pink, but I put questions in blue :) Some of them are specifics about your characters, but I also just want to hear your takes on writing Es 👀 I don't write them super often, so I'm curious how you characterize them...

Es clutched at their head. Their fingers tore through their hair. It was the middle of the night, so they resisted the urge to shout. They didn’t want to draw any attention to themself. If they remained completely silent, though, they wouldn’t need to refrain from crying.

And so they cried.

I wanted to start off right away by setting the theme of Es experiencing the typical pain of a child in their position, but refusing to be treated like the are.

You see, there is only one sensation worse than waking up from an awful dream: waking up from a very, very, good one. 

I'm kind of relying on readers understanding this feeling already, I didn't really know how to put it into words 😅 (Is this common for people?) It's happened to me several times, and it genuinely can hit harder than a nightmare.

Es had grown accustomed to the nightmares that Milgram produced. In these dreams, Es might take the place of the prisoners. Their stomach would twist with horror at the blood on their hands. Other times, they found themselves in the victim’s shoes. They’d wake in a cold sweat, feeling hands closing around their throat, or weapons swung at their temple. 

I feel like a lot of fics (rightfully) focus on all the messed up things Es experiences on a daily basis, like this. I'm usually more upset by their canon lack of interest in their past and future. Their refusal to miss/hope for anything better is really what hurts me, and it took a while to figure out what may push them to the point of finally acknowledging it. I thought a dream was a good start. When you picture them, are they wondering about their identity a lot? Would certain things be enough to jog their memory, or do only extreme situations get through to them?

But they weren’t prepared for a dream of absolute peace. They were happy. They were laughing. There were people nearby, smiling. It was all emotion and no detail – not a single face, place, or voice, was clear – but they knew for sure what the dream had consisted of.

Es was with their family. 

I debated so long on naming specifics about what they saw, whether it was glimpses of your characters or small lines of dialogue... I still hadn't decided if I wanted the dream to be a real memory or just their imagination, though, so I kept it up to interpretation. (Also, I was so afraid of getting something wrong about who they'd be close to or how they'd react in your mind 😭 "he wouldn't fucking say that" fr). In an early draft of this, Es had fallen asleep while cataloguing the prisoners' family members, and dreamed that they were a part of some of those families. It wasn't as effective as I'd hoped, so I got right to the point and made it their own family here.

So uh, I guess, what would they dream about if it were 100% accurate to their real family? I also thought about making the dream a vision sent from them to communicate a message -- is this something that a family member could/would do? And which relative is Es closest to? I've heard you talk more about their father, but I wasn't sure if that necessarily meant they were the closest. (I wanted to make a more specific parallel with one of the prisoners. I'd pair them with Amane if they were close with their father, Haruka if it was their mother, Mikoto if it was a sibling. Since I wasn't sure, I thought Haruka was a safe bet.)

They choked out another sob. 

For the longest time, they wondered if they even had a past to remember. But that was all foolishness – Milgram was in the business of judging humans, not creating them out of thin air. They’d tried asking Jackalope, once. He turned out just as cryptic as some of the prisoners in their interrogations. Another time, they had considered using the prison’s mysterious machine on themself. There was no way to operate it alone, though. And when it came down to it, they were always alone.

Yeah. So. I made myself upset realizing the isolation Es feels :((( They're at Jackalope's mercy as much as the prisoners are, but they can never truly bond with the others over it. They're different from the prisoners, but they don't even have that much power over them (only responsibility). I thought about including an actual attempt to use the machine without someone watching over them, and what a risk that would be. It ended up taking the story way off-focus, but I wonder what could actually drive them to the point of doing something dangerous in the name of getting memories back, or would they always be accepting of the situation, given their personality?

They curled themself tight, dragging the bedsheets with them. Usually when they wondered about their past, mere curiosity washed over them. Now, they were flooded with an entirely new type of longing. It filled their chest. No, that wasn't it. Rather, the feeling left a wide hole through them.

I'm glad you thought the curling up was cute ;--; I just wanted the reader to remember how young and small they are ;----; I was sad writing this and needed everyone to remember along with me 😭

If they did have a family, had Es been stolen away? Could there be someone else out there right now, crying in the middle of the night, just as hard as Es was crying for them? The thought was not comforting.

Or, like Es, had they forgotten all traces of their connection? That possibility also did more harm than good.

Es tried to reassure themself – if this family hadn’t come looking for them, maybe it meant they weren't wanted in the first place. Maybe Es had been willingly turned over to Milgram, their parents glad to be rid of them.

That thought didn't help at all.

I had a lot of fun evilly choosing the most painful possibilities for Es to consider >:3 (<- SHE'S LYING SHE MADE HERSELF CRY). The uncertainty would hurt any any reader, but as my target, I hoped to pinpoint some exact things you'd mentioned in the past. I was picturing the art of Es' father hunting Milgram down, and some of your comments about them remembering and missing Es.

Something clattered out in the corridor. That must have been what woke them. They rose from bed, ready to raise hell. How dare one of the prisoners rip them from such a dream. Es could never return. The offender would pay for this. 

It took only a moment to put on their uniform and wipe the tears from their cheeks. They swung the door open to find Haruka stumbling down the hall. 

I'm always a sucker for the uniform being a symbol of Es' obsession with their role -- putting it on is the same as them putting up an act, even if they don't quite realize it.

“Prisoner number one, what the –” they grabbed his arm. Only then did they notice the dazed look in his eyes. His body flinched, waking from what must have been sleepwalking.

“Ah! W-warden!” He blinked, his mind still stuck somewhere else. “I’m s-sorry! What, ah… I was dreaming... She was – she was right here…”

After this part I tried ending the drabble with Haruka saying, "I was dreaming," and Es replying bitterly, "me too." Haruka then says, "it was about my family," and much quieter, Es repeats "me too." As much as I loved the exchange, I wanted the gut-wrenching pain of Es rejecting their family rather than missing them at the very end 😎👍

Es took a measured breath. They steeled their expression. There would be no unleashing hell tonight. They had lost sight of their role. They had gotten distracted with childish emotions and silly dreams. They were Milgram’s warden, not some kid like Haruka who wandered around the prison late at night looking for his mama. 

Es adjusted the hat over their hair. It was good, they told themself, that they couldn't remember a thing from the dream. They didn't need any of those people. They were perfectly fine on their own. Such a distraction would not happen again.

I had to mention the uniform hat again because I'm just too obsessed with the symbolism asdfsdfs. And yeah, like you said, all of this was an attempt to convince themself. They don't really believe it, but they have to make themself believe it, or else they'll be in even more pain...

“Let’s get you back to bed.”

“But, my p-parents, they were–”

“They’re not here. Nobody is. Back to your cell, prisoner.”

Of course "they're not here" is reflecting Es and Haruka both missing their parents, but I hoped the last line would also continue the parallels between them -- at the end of the night, Es is a prisoner here too :(

[resourcerers]

QUICK SMALL GUIDE TO EDITBLR (most of this is not about editing but rather the community)

First of all, make an account, make sure to verify and just set up most of it. You can make your own theme, use a theme someone else made or stay theme-less, it really doesn’t matter. It can be quite confusing to beginners because tumblr has lots of different mechanics and overall content and a lot of hidden rules that are more related to courtesy then anything like rules, e.g @-ing people in promos. mogai, terms..etc

You should very much focus on making a post regarding your info that you should make your pinned post, whether it would be rules, what you can do, or something personal! It’s best that you add info about what you CAN do and what you CANNOT do. For example if you cant make discord layouts then you should add it in your info. if you dislike or hate editing a type of media then you should add it in something known as a blacklist. Blacklists aka B-list are what you don’t want to edit, it’s different from a DNI, being that you don’t mind the media being shown to you, but you won’t edit it at all. Your blacklist should also be quite specific and planned out before you start editing or start opening requests(I’ll talk about this later) especially if you dislike declining requests. A Whitelist aka W-list on the other hand is media you enjoy editing and encourage people to request. Some people may only take requests from their White List and refuse to do media that aren’t in their list.

After you got your info, B-list and W-list set up, most editors create a promo post, in which they will officially announce that their requests are opened, along with @-ing other popular editors for example in somthing called a ‘tag list’. Some editors don’t enjoy being @, so it’s important to ask for permission(unless it’s stated in their info/rules/pinned post) before @-ing them. You can also create a promo post without @-ing anyone, but your account won’t have much reach without it. 

When you get a request, don’t be afraid to ask or decline. If the request is confusing or misleading and you aren’t sure what they want, you can ask them about what they meant. If the request is apart of your blacklist or something you cant or don’t want to edit, then you can just decline with an explanation, it’s not your fault if you just don’t want to edit something.

Editblr can be quite complicated at first, with a ton of terms that can confuse someone. In Editblr, here are some common terms;

overlays : textures that can be added using the overlay mode

DNI - Do not Interact

BYI - Before you interact

PNGs : images e.g flowers to surround your character to make you graphic look better

resources : PNGs, overlays, etc.. are all considered as resources

resource blogs : blogs that specifically post and reblog resources

PSDs : PSD files that contain specific files that can change the color of your graphics and edits

f2u w credits : free to use with credits 

f2u w/o credits : free to use without credits

renders / transparents : transparent cut-outs of characters that often come with a google drive containing a lot of them.

mogai- is an acronym for Marginalized Orientations, Gender Alignments, and Intersex (taken from wiki)

reposting : reposting works outside of tumblr in websites and apps like discord.

(these are just a few of them)

The Editblr community can be extremely unbearable, and often lack any type of comprehension skills with cancel culture being very real. Using renders/layouts/arts without proper credits and claiming others works are still big issues in the community so don’t do that at all, and please respect other people’s boundaries. That will be it for now.

this is very loosely inspired by this post by @/neroticbf, they have an amazing guide on how to get started with editing.

this post was written by mod Black Forest cookie

[thetravelingmaster]

Remote Controlled Puppet - Part 2

- Kendra’s Unwitting Conversion -

Female's Point of View - Brainwashing - Conditioning - Mindless - Personalities - Robot Theme - Technology

Amy  

After weeks of exploring what he could condition my mind to do while it was held prisoner inside my own body, Patrick’s genius and scientific curiosity soon found multiple ways to brainwash me. The most obvious of which was that he could force me to watch specific brainwashing media without worrying if my eyes were actually focusing on it because he could program my collar to force me. Then again, with the massive amounts of pleasure he could inject into my body, he didn’t really need me to watch or even listen to hypnotic audios. 

He could simply have my mouth repeat whatever idea he wanted to program into me. We both discovered that the process was much more intimate for me and incredibly effective. The pleasure overload that was imposed on me made my stray thoughts focus on what I was saying instead of trying to form an independent idea. Which truly internalized the ideas because after an hour or so of constantly repeating the same few phrases while my body swam on the edge of release, I would easily forget that it was my AI talking and believed wholeheartedly that I was the one doing the repetitions. 

Patrick quickly capitalized on that, combining it with audios, recorded in my own voice, I could listen to while at work meant that my mind kept being bombarded with the idea until it sank so deep into my subconscious that it became part of my sense of self. On the rare occasions where Patrick decided to afford me a little ‘human’ time, my scientific mind couldn’t help but be fascinated by the efficiency of my own subjugation.  

He had effectively transformed me into an organic machine as he worked tirelessly on my original mind as if it was a secondary AI he needed to program and perfect. 

Which, it turns out, quickly became my new sense of self.

I was no longer a human woman named Amy that was being puppeteered to act like a pleasure drone. To me, I was a pleasure drone that had a human emulation personality. The shift between the 2 was so natural that I never truly woke up one morning believing that I wasn’t human. Granted, my life was a blur of mantras and endless service, which made it infinitely hard to keep track of my own thoughts. So instead of waking up to a new self, it was more like getting lost in a hazy fog for an uncountable amount of time before finally coming out on the other side as a pleasure drone. 

My life boiled down to executing commands and experiencing near constant pleasure. 

Nothing more and nothing less.

Copy this link in your browser to read the rest of this chapter

mc-diaries.com/diaries/remote-controlled-sex-puppet-part-2

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.192 thoughts

[RULES OF NATURE!!!] or [We Live in a Society]

(Contents: thematic analysis - rules, character analysis - Top)

Undead Unluck is now officially as long as Medaka Box! Well, 'cept it doesn't have any special chapters in Giga or anything like that, so I guess technically Medaka Box had two more chapters? Come to think of it, wasn't getting two bonus chapters kind of a big deal? Can't think of too many Jump manga that get ANY bonus chapters...

Gettin' sidetracked, focus!

We finally get to see our boy Top, and oh no! He's become a Bad Boy(TM)! Using his powers to steal when his previous self was willing to stop running so his friends could win the prize money he needed...how heartbreaking! No wonder Haruka is trying so hard to stop him, especially since she was around to stop his tragedy - she's probably already as attached to him now as she was in the previous loop, and it hurts her to see him like this

It does seem a little strange for a family to get run out of town for illness in modern society, but maybe that's just what it's like in a poor Brazilian neighborhood? That doesn't sound right, but even if it isn't, it's fiction and I'm just going to ignore it for the sake of the drama

Top's mother tells him that he shouldn't be stealing, not necessarily because stealing is inherently wrong, but because it breaks society's rules - in the traditional sense, an outlaw is someone who doesn't obey the law, and therefore is not protected by it, so from her perspective, her son living as an outlaw justifies their isolation from the rest of society. To her, living within the law should eventually result in their family being accepted back into society, as surely the law must protect those who live within its borders

This is a fallacy, though: the law punishes those who live outside of it, but it is not obligated to protect anyone at all. The Rules of the UU world make Tozuka's stance on this topic abundantly clear, as their very existence is explicitly meant to cause suffering, and the only way to end that suffering is to either find loopholes within the rules or to negate the rules themselves. You can either cheat the system or break it, but staying perfectly in line is only going to give the advantage to those who seek to abuse the rules for their own benefit and the detriment of everyone else. The poor stay poor while the rich get richer

Top's way of doing things isn't necessarily right, either, though. While the law won't do anything to help, stealing from the community is a surefire way to lose sympathy from the people who may be willing to help. It's one thing to be an enemy of the law, but making an enemy of the community will only make one more isolated. UU is all about banding together to make things better, but Top is turning his back on everyone else to shoulder everything himself. If he makes a name for himself as a criminal, making the wrong members of the community his enemy, there's a good chance that no amount of money will let his mother get whatever treatment he needs. This is the kind of town where they can kick you out for being sick, there's a very good chance they'd refuse service to the kid who stole X amount of money from them. Money is a construct of society - becoming society's enemy is a surefire way to make your money lose its value

The Rules of UU work similarly - by working with the Rules, new possibilities are created, like Lucy and Andy materializing their souls after the introduction of Ghost, Nico mastering electricity to turn Ichico's eyebags into eyeshadow, the Union warping with Move, etc. The Rules are not inherently bad, they just aren't designed with protection in mind - they're made to restrict or enable specific behaviors, which can be used to either guide or manipulate those they apply to. How this theme will develop for this arc remains to be seen, but it's very clear that Top's situation is meant to be a more realistic or practical parallel to the fantastical setting of this world as a whole

Reading this chapter also prompted me to reread Top's backstory chapter, and I noticed a fun little parallel: at the beginning of this week's chapter, Fuuko says that because of her Unluck, she killed her parents, just like Top says that because of his Unstoppable, he killed his friends, and in both cases, Juiz/Julia insisted that both of them were blameless, and instead God was responsible for those deaths. Of course, both Fuuko and Top still insist on shouldering the responsibility to make things right by defeating God

I wonder if perhaps Top not killing anyone is part of the reason he went down this path: before, he wasn't responsible but couldn't help feeling like he was, but this time he really is just a victim of circumstance, so blaming everyone else and lashing out is a natural reaction. I'm not saying he was better off with his friends' blood on his hands (shoes?), but it's interesting that the worse circumstance forged a stronger and kinder heart

I imagine that's going to lead into the deeper explanation that Fuuko started at the beginning of the chapter: why the Negators are chosen. It's a question that we've been asking for a long time, and I always assumed that God just liked to pick on whoever would be the most ironic in the moment, so I'm excited to see what kind of answer Tozuka is gearing up to give us. I imagine it'll sound esoteric and weird at first, but it'll undoubtedly give me a lot to talk about, so I'm greatly looking forward to it

Until next time, let's enjoy life

[perseusjackson-jasongrace]

so if you’re familiar with my writing style you’ll know i tend to use words as visual tools. like if someone

is

going

down

the

stairs

then they definitely look like they’re going down, kind of thing. but there’s other fun things and hidden messages i get to play around with while i’m creating these little visuals and i thought i’d share some examples from my fics over the years

not so random capitalisation

i use capitalisation a LOT in my writing (haha) and it is definitely for emphasis but i also like to focus on specific things with the words to help portray the emotions in the scene.

#1

in this one, i’ve capitalised some letters in “simultaneously”. But the letters i’ve chosen to capitalise if rearranged a little spell out INSANE.

#2

gay sex happening here and i thought i was hilarious for capitalising “anal” in the word ‘finally’. sometimes it’s not about symbolism. sometimes i just like to entertain myself.

#3

the word “roles” is capitalised in ‘troublemakers’ because that’s their roles. lol obvious, but fun

#4

ah okay this one you’ll see i’ve capitalised the two T’s in ‘torture’ because to me it looked like torture bars. you know those things where they handcuff your hands with a bar in the middle? yea doesn’t it look like a ‘T’?

#5

mind you there are ways happy accidents (as bob ross says). here my aim was to show the suspension by capitalising the first and last syllables. but that meant the middle syllable ‘pen’ was left lowercase, which is a little ode to percy jackson, who we know carriers a pen as his sword. that was a fun discovery.

hidden messages

#1

so in this one visually you can probably tell i’m showing the “sinking” happening. but another fun thing is the way i’ve decided to separate the letters. “s i n” are sort of evenly spaced apart and spell out sin (adding to the pleasure they’re about to indulge in) and “ks” sounds (and maybe looks) like kiss.

so in this little visual i managed to show the action (sinking), the theme (sin) and the result (kiss) just from breaking up “sinks”.

#2

okay so they’re on a motorbike with one sitting behind the other pressed into him and yes i am visually showing their movement by writing gone in this broken way. but also because of the way i split ‘gone’ you can read it as “They’re one.”, cause love and closeness and obsession yadda yadda

#3

this is a dual one

so here there’s two scenes from the same fanfic, with the first happening at the beginning and the second at the very end. As you can see i isolated the word “nothing” to visualise the nothingness and then also split it apart into “no” and “thing” as well as changed it to read “no king”. (emphasis on percy not needing to be a king while in the arms of his lovers).

and then in the last scene i give him the dialogue “No” and assign it to his title so it again reads “no king”.

in conclusion i love to play around with words, it’s so much fun for me! and while it won’t happen every time (sometimes the capitalisations really are random) (sometimes the visualisations are just visualisations), and sometimes it will be pure accident, i thought it would be nice to show some of my more hidden thought processes behind my (slightly wild) writing.