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myun-saidthoughts · 1 month ago

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🧷 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀 8th + 12th House Synastry Astrology Observations:

I have known this boy since summer of 2021 and our dynamic to this day is still weird and unique. So I want to state specific scenarios that have occurred between us.

(I'll update with more observations as time goes on)

His Moon and Venus are in my 8th house, these planets make many tight aspects to my inner planets and those planets also aspect my 5th and 7th house ruler.

My Moon is in his 12th house and it also tightly squares his Neptune, my Moon also aspects his Lilith, 5th and 8th house ruler.

🌸 Staring at one another is very likely. The more avoidant you are the more uncomfortable you may feel with how reactive/how easy it is to care.

🌸 When things are romantic or there's been consistent flirting (without commitment) you two might share this unsaid loyalty to one another. At outings or parties you may make sure to not speak to other people while they are in the room.

Ex: Once at a party a girl was hugging him, the second I made eye contact with him he pushes the girl away, runs in the opposite direction, then comes up to me 5 minutes later to ask me a random question.

Ex. Once he was dating a girl and as I walked up near them (they were dancing), he pushes her away and waves at me and he's done this in other occasions.

Ex. When things were good with us (meaning zero commitment but felt good because of cute conversation) I made sure to not give other boys attention when he is in the room; it felt like a innate reaction within me to do that?

🌸 When we don't appease one another through the above examples the relationship feels more intense or more emotionally charged. It's like us being severely independent and careless with one another increases the tension and somehow creates more awkwardness. For me it feels like i'm fighting my own deep wishes; my heart vs my ego. (We have a Libra MC/Moon/Venus in our composite chart)

🌸 I don't even have his phone number and it feels like I am his ex.

🌸 I have never hung out with him one and one and we've never had sex yet it feels like we have had an intimate intense relationship.

Story: Throughout the years we would always run into each other and he was always more afraid of commitment, he has had two girlfriends but for some reason he's never pursued me on his own. Instead he stares and gets jealous when his friends talk to me.

🌸 Jealousy is very likely even if you're not a jealous person; if you're attracted to them you will get jealous over them/if their attention is towards another.

🌸 Once at a party I walk up to him to say hi but I had to leave the second I got there and as I hugged him he blurted "You're leaving?!" Just by my hug he knew I was upset to go without me saying anything.

🌸 Once at a different outing he was talking to another girl and I kept staring. As I saw them talk I then abruptly (and in a sad manner) walked away and he unknowingly shouted "Wait!"

🌸 What he feels; I feel. When there's an emotional disconnect I can feel the energy shift.

🌸 Staring is so likely. I can't help it. I just have to look at him. Gun to my head my eyes are locked in.

🌸 There's intense expectations that you hold for one another. You expect a certain energy, action, reaction or behavior from them; when it's not met you will feel a low.

🌸 When you are with them and the expectations are met, the high they can give you feels like a drug. I was once high for three days off a cute interaction we had.

🌸 I always wished he would just pull me in and kiss me, I once verbally told this to my sister; I said "I want him to want me so bad that he just grabs me, pulls me in and kisses me." Weeks later, while he was drunk he word for word restated that exact same sentence to me while holding my face. (He said "the second I saw you all I wanted to do is grab you, pull you in and kiss you, can i kiss you?)

🌸 I sometimes can't tell which my feelings are mine vs his. Its cloudy and I ask myself if what I feel is what he feels all the time.

🌸 You'll feel their thoughts and then talk yourself out of knowing "their mind," you'll brush it off and say how illogical it is to "know" what they are feeling.

🌸 The relationship is a constant tennis match of caring to letting go, sometimes you're so certain with moving on and then something, anything can pull you back in.

🌸 I have posted on my social media certain songs, playlists, quotes that were covert messages for him.

🌸 I carefully curate my snapchat stories in hopes it'll make him think of me or want me.

🌸 Idealizing is very common. He places me on this impossible pedestal, and I have said out loud that he "is everything I could ever wish for" and I don't even know him!

🌸 If there's a miscommunication or mishap there will be this deep need to fix the dynamic between you two.

Once my sister yelled at him because he was avoiding conversation (as he does usually) and 2 weeks later he throws a party. I know it sounds insane that he would have a party just to fix the weird dynamic but when I arrived he and his roommate made eye contact and he looked at his roommate saying "Walk with me so I can say hi to them" and the roommate knew immediately and smirked at me while passing.

🌸 I pull open a soft spot in him, I can just tell when he looks at me. Especially when we were talking more.

🌸 It feels safe when I hug him, once he just laid his head on my shoulder and that behavior came so naturally from him.

🌸 When his ego isn't involved he is more open with his feelings.

🌸 Once I grabbed his hand and he looked into my eyes and leaned down to kiss me; it felt so effortless as if we've done this before (we haven't).

🌸 I am SO emotionally unavailable, I always worry about PDA but in this case I dont care who see's me, I openly and willingly showcase my desire and it's so easy to do so. I just don't feel sick or worried about others seeing me be romantic with him, with others I fear when people perceive me with a boy romantically.

🌸 Not saying hi or not talking to him feels so much worse than if I went out of my way to say hi.

🌸 I always worry about making him feel pressured to say hi, I want him to feel ease with me and not worry or be burdened; he feels the same way towards me. (He's told me he doesn't want to pressure me to say hi)

🌸 In recent events and due to zero contact or communication I overly acted nonchalant and I acted like I didn't care but still that is the furthest of how I truly feel. Outwardly I avoided eye contact to make him feel more comfortable or less burdened but it eats at me. I act like I don't want him (to make the connection seem less intense) but I deeply do. He acted the same way towards me and mirrored my behavior.

🌸 I feel like I have to act carefree even when i'm not receiving his attention to make the connection feel less intense; but my body and facial reactions say otherwise no matter how hard I try.

🌸 One night at a party I impulsively went up to him and kissed him without words. He then looked at me, pulled me in and kissed me again. (Again with no words being said to either of us)

🌸 So many unsaid thoughts, feelings and desires. Never once have we ever verbalized our feelings for one another or about our connection and I have known him for 3 years.

🌸 Other people can see and feel the tension between us two.

🌸 I dream of him almost every single night (I am the planet person in the 12th house synastry).

🌸 My dreams showcase his soft and loving manner even when if in "reality" his actions are cold and dismissive. I receive such soft attention in my dreams and I don't understand why; it doesn't mirror his behavior in my waking life therefore I can't understand if it's my deep wishes or his subconscious wishes.

🌸 I had dream of him telling me "You make me feel more than any other girl I've met" and even in my dream I was confused by that statement.

🌸 The second I don't say hi or vice versa tension rises and it becomes more awkward in some manner. It's like not acknowledging one another causes this weird tense dynamic.

🌸 His ex hated me because she knew how he has liked me first. I found out she still viewed me as a threat to their relationship even when I didn't speak to him for 9 months?

🌸 Once he was blatantly drunk and after not seeing him for almost a year he still confessed how attracted he is towards me. He newly broke up with his ex (who hated me) and weeks after he confessed his attraction.

🌸 I have never dated him, and he gets more jealous with me than anyone else he's romantically officially been with. When his friends talk to me he feels threatened, angry and acts annoyed.

🌸 Once his friend was drunk and was non-stop talking to me saying how cute I was, 2 minutes later he runs up, grabs him by the neck and tells him to stop. The friend then avoided me after.

Story: Since he was jealous (and since we're not dating) he tried acting like he didn't care about that occurrence so you know what he does? I stare at him, he stares at me, then walks my way, stops, and turns at the girl next to me to start a conversation. Right. In. Front. Of. ME. Then I walk up to him after and he AVOIDS me. He hates that he gets jealous so to counteract that feeling he acts overly dismissive to "decrease" the emotional charge with us. It doesn't work.

🌸 We mirror each other's behaviors constantly.

🌸 He views me as this "perfect" person but that stops him from ever choosing me because he feels that he can't live up to the partner I deserve. (How do I know this? I just do)

🌸 The second and I mean very second there's a emotional block between you two the deep seated desire for them becomes less intense.

Ex: If you also share 12th house synastry with them, parts of their actions will feel like subtle hints that are meant for you. In essence, you want to believe that you are more important to them than others and you feel like you are. But once something comes to light or if you were shown that what you thought to be wasn't the case; this realization creates emotional distance and the desire for them (in that moment) shrinks. It feels as if the importance that you thought your presence gave them suddenly means nothing, and that feeling creates a instant "I'm never speaking to them again mentality"

🌸 With 8th and 12th house synastry, there’s a part of you that feels you’ll never compare to anyone else they encounter. Even if you two never dated, there’s a deep sense that the way they feel when they’re with you is unmatched and it's something you intuitively will feel. It's likely that there will be no set actions or verbal affirmations to confirm this knowing.

🌸 The emotional charge you feel when they are in the room with you can be so intense others around you can feel the unspoken desires you two share.

🌸 The intensity of this connection swings between unspoken loyalty and complete avoidance—one extreme driven by the fear of showing disinterest, and the other by the fear of being a burden. If you’re not preoccupied with displaying your loyalty to them in a room full of people, you find yourself avoiding eye contact or minimizing conversation to maintain a facade of “normalcy”—a normalcy that doesn’t truly exist in this connection.

🌸 I’ve noticed that I tend to trigger his jealous tendencies. A few weeks ago, I was at a bar, and at that point, we hadn’t even said hello to each other. I happened to be standing next to a random guy (it was a small table), and he immediately asked his friend who the guy next to me was. The friend, who we both know, turned around, looked at me, and then answered his question.

Another time, we were at a party, and again, we hadn’t really spoken at all. He looked over at a random guy and said something, to which the guy responded, “Ohhh, this girl?” while pointing at me. He just froze and didn’t turn back. It’s like he talks about me to everyone else—just not to me.

🌸 If you are very physically attracted to them, the want or desire for them can arise VERY quickly. You could verbally say "I'm over them" but the second they look visually attractive or if their actions cause emotional closeness, the want for them will reappear again.

🌸 I saw him last night and he was with another girl, when he is drunk he becomes more accustomed to not showing attention to other girls when I'm around. We made eye contact and he backed away from her but it was like he doesn't even realize or understand why he does these things? We've never dated and we haven't talked at allll in basically months. I miss him a lot and wish I had the chance or courage to talk to him more. I can't even remember if I said hi. :(

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tsukimefuku · 9 months ago

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CHAPTER ONE: PUTATIVE SELF DEFENSE ❀ HIGURUMA SENSEI SERIES

masterlist link | mdni!

❀ putative self-defense.

when a person believes they are in imminent danger and acts in what they believe would be self-defense, when, in reality, the threat does not exist or is not as severe as perceived.

wc: 5.9K ❀ pairing for the series: professor!higuruma x student!reader

❀ summary.

after your roommate fails to replenish the coffee in your dorm room, you drag your insomniac ass towards the cafeteria before heading to your first criminal law class. unfortunately, things don't go as expected — it's so, so much worse than you could have anticipated. at least, your personal torturer is very good-looking, and has the most beautiful hooked nose you have ever seen.

❀ Tags and c/w.

non-curse au. college au. silly slow-burn rom-com between professor and college student (this is purely a work of fiction, okay guys?) reader is kind of a mess (like, literally). this is cliché with some twists. nobara is the best and worst roomie ever. nobamaki is a thing here. nobody likes cafeteria coffee. higuruma has a best friend, i'm so happy about that. second hand embarrassment. misunderstandings are talked through and resolved. higuruma is a little unhinged, and we love him for that.

thank you so much @redlikerozez for betaing this 🥺

Your morning was a clusterfuck.

Diving your face in ice cold water did absolutely nothing to wake you from your anxiety ridden all-nighter. The world felt like a half dazed hallucination by this point.

Your energy was running so low this morning that you wound up putting your jeans on top of your pajamas pants, throwing a coat over the rest of the mess, and twirling your hair into something that could barely be considered a bun, topping it all off with the ugliest scarf you had — a red polka-dot scarf.

It seemed to be a taunting from the Gods — this was, for some supernatural reason, the only scarf you ever found when you were running late, and you hated the thing, but feared that if you threw it away, some higher power would punish you, and you'd never find another scarf to wear.

You were also scared that if you tried taking a shower, you might end up sleeping under it.

"What are you doing?" your roommate asked, as you pulled your face from the bowl filled with water and ice cubes. "Jesus, you look like hell."

"Trying to crawl my way back to the world of the living. It's not working."

Nobara walked behind you and opened the mini-fridge, grabbing a single slice of cheese and rolling it up to eat it.

"Oh, a breakfast fit for the champions" you mocked, while patting your face with a tea towel.

She scoffed. "Get off my ass, I didn't have the time for groceries."

"Oh, you totally had the time, you just spent it all with your girlfriend in her room!"

Nobara grabbed a crumpled tissue that she found over the counter and threw it in your direction.

You dodged it because you weren’t sure what the fuck that tissue had been used for cleaning.

"Leave me the hell alone! I deserved it before classes started," she complained, pouting.

You laughed as you walked towards the coffee machine, to see if some liquid energy would be enough to pump you through the day.

"Aren't you supposed to be out there already? Weren't you going to head into criminal law today or whatever?" she asked.

And you were, actually.

"So, how is he?" you inquired, tapping around the coffee machine and behind it, looking for the coffee powder.

"Professor Higuruma, you mean?" Nobara got up and walked towards her bed, throwing herself over it like a rag doll. "I still haven't had class with him, but according to Maki, he's kinda weird."

"Your girlfriend's definition of weird for the male faculty members is too broad, Nobara. She said the same thing about at least four or five professors."

She shrugged. "According to gossip, professor Higuruma had to take some time off academia after his PhD because of a mental breakdown."

"Well, he is the guy that got two masters degrees simultaneously and one PhD right after. I guess that does things to a person" you mocked, opening the cabinet drawer. Where is the coffee?

"Oh, that's why he's the head of two chairs?!"

"Yup, Criminal Law and Criminal Procedure Law."

"Well, from what Maki has told me, he likes to quiz his students on the spot randomly," Nobara stated as she pulled her phone from her night stand and began texting.

After looking all around and not finding the coffee powder, you were very much annoyed.

"Nobara, where is the coffee?"

"We don't have any," she answered nonchalantly, still with her eyes glued to her phone.

You whipped your head towards her so fast, you nearly hurt your neck.

"Nobara, I need coffee. This is not a drill! It's my first criminal law class!"

"Oh, future criminal defense attorney, you definitely need some coffee, no one in their good mind would be wearing whatever the hell that is," she noted, pointing at you. "Especially that ugly red thing around your neck. Why do you still have that?"

"Ugh, now I'll have to go into the cafeteria before class to drink their awful coffee, and it's entirely your fault. Wardrobe editing rights are officially revoked!"

You stepped towards the door grabbing your bag as you heard her ask, "Hhey, is that your pajamas top?"

"No!" you replied, pulling your coat over your hello kitty pajamas top, before going out.

***

I can't fucking believe this.

You got in line to buy an overpriced $2 coffee — overpriced because it basically tasted like dirty water flavored with the souls of the damned — as you looked at your watch nearly every twenty seconds or so.

This coffee was so bad you usually tried to cover it up with milk, syrup and whatever else they had at their clients' disposal, but the aftertaste was always — always — completely cursed.

While in line, you noticed the guy who stood in front of you, and got distracted from your hurry by his back, as silly as that might sound.

He was tall — not the tallest, but at least a head above you — and his black hair was neatly cut by the tail end where his neck met his black suit collar. His posture was a little crooked to the side, one shoulder hanging a little lower than the other, and it felt kind of… charming?

Realizing you were nearly burning a hole in the man's back with your eyes, you averted your gaze elsewhere.

This is pathetic. I'm pathetic.

You figured that you had to be really sleep-deprived — and, honestly, kinda lonely — to be simping over some random guy's back.

Not only that, but while waiting in line at the campus cafeteria, the less sexy place to ever exist.

Class. I need coffee. I need to get to class. I'm pathetic. I’m also almost late.

And almost late you were. Somehow, you managed to wait just until you'd be a little too fumbled on the clock in order to get your ass out of your dorm room's bed to do something about it, and never even bothered to check if there would be any coffee to be made.

Just one of the many minor self-sabotaging shit you pulled against yourself from time to time.

After grabbing the damned drink and tainting it with further things to mask its terrible taste, your sleepless and nearly-late ass, when running across the cafeteria, body slammed by accident the same guy that was in line right in front of you. He was then covered in your coffee — an unholy concoction of said beverage, cold water, milk, and pancake syrup for sweetening.

Not only that, but to top it all off, you chuckled right after you began apologizing, actually laughing at the poor man.

It wasn't because the situation was even remotely funny, or that you were cackling at his humiliation. You just had the laughter response to stressful or embarrassing situations.

At church, during the national anthem, at an accident, or in the middle of a very hard test — whenever you were really stressed, you found yourself having to hold your urge to cackle.

Unfortunately, even after twenty-seven years, this was something you hadn’t quite mastered yet.

As you tried to grab some napkins from the counter behind him, you slipped, ceasing the laughter immediately.

Instant karma. Seems fair.

Before you hit the ground, though, he held you by your waist and with a hand on your arm. You felt the taut muscles under the suit enveloping you and pulling you back on your feet in one dexterous, swift motion. His shoulders were not slouched anymore.

"Shit, shit, I'm so sorry!" you exclaimed, trying to shuffle yourself away from him. His grip was tight, clearly from someone that had just been startled, and his body felt warm — especially considering you had just covered the poor guy in hot liquid.

As you parted yourself from him, you finally took a good look at the man.

The best words to describe him right now were disheveled mess. His tie was crumpled, his white button shirt had a massive brown stain from the coffee spilled, his short black hair was messily pulled back leaving a few strands out to frame his forehead, and his ashy black eyes were clearly surprised as he tried to check if you were alright.

And that beautiful hooked nose.

He was definitely brooding and good-looking — the tired, overworked, insomniac, bags under his eyes and two steps away from sleeping on his feet kind of good-looking.

The front certainly matches the back.

Then, realizing your mind was doing whirls about his appearance, you shook your head for a moment, dispersing the thoughts away.

"It's fine, just let me-" he answered, taping his hands around his suit, seemingly looking for something.

You had nearly forgotten you were tight on time until you heard the bell ringing. He turned around startled when it rang, cussing something under his breath, which gave you the perfect opportunity to dash away.

"I'm very sorry! I'm really late for my next class, I need to run, but I'm so, so sorry!" you blurted as you took off running, feeling a tinge of guilt knowing full well you had left him alone to fend off for himself with that abominable coffee stain.

So, why clusterfuck?

When you arrived in class, having lost yourself on campus twice when running around like a dizzy duck in a fatigued haze trying to find the right classroom, you saw who was sitting at the professor's desk in front of the entire classroom.

That huge coffee spill was pretty visible, even if he had now closed his suit jacket on top of it.

Shit.

The man was fumbling around with some papers over his desk with one hand while he adjusted his glasses — that he wasn't wearing earlier — with the other.

You sat in the back of the classroom, which had an amphitheater architecture to it. If you were lucky enough, though, maybe he wouldn't notice you.

However, upon further inspection, you noticed that the back of the class was especially empty, and realized at that moment you were standing out like a sore thumb.

This couldn't get any worse, could it?

You wished for a hole to appear right under your feet and drag you down.

"So, good morning to you all. I apologize for my late arrival. As you can all tell, I had to face some unforeseen circumstances," he began, pulling on the edge of his jacket suit to reveal the brown-colored Rorschach of shame plastered over his white shirt.

Some students laughed, and you recoiled in your seat, praying this was all just a first-day-in-class-embarrassment type of dream.

It wasn't.

"Welcome to Criminal Law I. My name is Higuruma Hiromi, and I'll be your professor. I hope you all can learn a thing or two from me," he said, before stepping in front of his desk and sitting over it.

"So, I'd like to begin this class with the following question: what is fairness?"

Some hands jumped up, and you slid yourself under your seat even further, surely to hit the ground if you sunk any deeper.

Higuruma's eyes began darting around the classroom.

Something you'd learn in a second about him was that he liked to poke at the students who didn't seem keen in participating, just to create some stormy engagement and get truly unexpected answers.

The ones who lifted their hands, the classic know-it-alls, were the students he considered to be remarkably boring and utterly predictable.

"You," he stated, and it took you a few seconds — and multiple blinks — to realize his finger was pointing in your direction. "Girl with the red scarf, tell me what you think fairness is."

You were at a complete loss for words.

"I… I… Fairness…"

Then silence.

You couldn't muster up anything to say to save your life.

You really should have slept better.

He sighed, and tilted his head to the side.

"Guess I'll have to demonstrate it."

Nobody understood what the professor meant, and much to everyone's surprise, he began walking up towards you, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he did so.

Then, looking straight at you, he stood beside the exit door, and gestured towards it.

"Girl with the red scarf, please, leave this classroom."

Before you could actually be offended that he didn't even ask your name, you felt your stomach drop, and your face glow a warm, deeply uncomfortable red.

Out of everything you thought could happen, getting kicked out of the classroom within the first five minutes into a lecture wasn’t even listed as one of the top 10 alternatives.

What the fuck? Isn't that a little excessive?

Speechless, you grabbed your backpack from the ground, and lifted yourself up, standing there for a few seconds, completely dumbfounded. The classroom was silent enough that a needle falling on the ground could be heard.

And then, suddenly, the urge came upon you, raining down like a hailstorm.

Laughter bubbled up your throat, and you coughed a little, pursing your lips shut, scrunching your face all around, trying to avoid any sound from leaking out.

He looked at you a little puzzled, and seemed to be wondering if you were about to have a stroke.

You began walking towards the door, but as you were about to cross it, he extended his arm in front of you, blocking your passageway.

"Stay there for a second."

"What?" you asked, coughing a little to shy the laughter away, and his face was once again briefly puzzled when he heard your voice.

A few seconds later, he softly shook off whatever thought that was, and resumed speaking.

"Is this fair? Asking a student to leave a classroom because they failed to answer an open-ended question?" he inquired the other students, waiting for someone to answer.

"N-no, it's not," some guy answered from the front.

Higuruma gestured for you to seat back where you were, and you clumsily stepped your way back, face flustered in utter and absolute embarrassment. This was definitely how bad it all could get. Is he dunking on me for spilling coffee on him and running? That's petty.

The man was certifiably insane. He was lucky to be so good-looking.

"And why it is not?" he proceeded with the questioning, slowly walking back towards the front of the class again.

"It would be excessive to do so," another student answered.

"Correct. Precisely that, it would be excessive," Higuruma chimed, sitting back over his desk, legs mildly spread as he opened his suit jacket and mindlessly smoothed out his tie with one of his hands. "Criminal Law isn't just about subsuming a person's actions to something the law has described as a crime, and then mechanically submitting said person to some randomly prescribed penalty. Fairness is the most vital and important theoretical foundation when studying criminal law. Not answering a question could be considered some type of in-class offense, sure, and expulsion from the classroom is one possible way to punish the deviant student, but it would be disproportionate and unreasonable to do so."

His gravely voice filled that classroom with no effort whatsoever, and it was an actually pretty good exposition.

It was one thing to describe what a sunset looks like, and another, very different, was to actually show one happening in real time. Words paled in comparison to the crimson, purplish sky engulfing the end of a day.

Most of your teachers, up until this point, had simply begun writing something on the white board at the start of each class, and made less than memorable remarks while spitting out the theory written in the recommended books list in the syllabus. So distant, so abstract, so… Detached from real life.

This was thought-provoking. This was enthralling. Well, this was the reason you enrolled in law school in the first place.

For a moment, you forgot this professor had just exercised his petty revenge on you, propping yourself up with trepidation. Your tiredness was completely forgotten as his monologue ensued.

He was the real deal.

"Fairness. It will be your guide to assess if a given penalty after a verdict is adequate or not, if someone who acted in self-defense should be found innocent or exceeded their rights in doing so… If the law itself is good enough as it is or should be subject to change, because a penalty might be too high for a seemingly innocuous offense that shouldn't even be a crime in the first place."

Higuruma paused for a moment to let his students simmer on his words.

"Fairness is the be-all and end-all of Criminal Law. I need everyone to understand this before we proceed, because fairness will be our primary lens in this classroom when studying the subject. So, can I trust that all of you understood what fairness looks like, rather than what it can be conceptualized as?"

He darted his eyes in your direction, and you saw yourself unconsciously nodding in acquiescence.

You were sure you caught a whiff of a smile on his face right before he resumed his introductory class of principles in criminal law.

***

“We are the only nerds that do this in the teacher’s lounge,” Higuruma stated, as he made his next move on the checkers board.

“You’re probably right,” Higuruma’s best friend replied in his pristine striped gray suit vest, as he thought for a second before making his own move and taking three consecutive pieces of Higuruma’s checkers as he did.

Higuruma groaned in response. Why does he always win on checkers? Goddammit.

“How are you so good at this, Kento? Let’s play chess, just so then I get to win” he complained, leaning back against his chair. “ I can see you winning this one in three moves.”

Nanami huffed. “Checkers was your idea. Besides, we both have our classes soon, there wouldn’t be enough time for a proper chess game.”

Higuruma removed his glasses and slid them inside one of his suit jacket’s inner pockets, brushing the tips of his fingers against his closed eyelids. He couldn’t catch a wink of rest the previous night, anxious to be back in a classroom after such a long time.

It all became very blurry, so he put his glasses back on.

Higuruma didn’t know if he was eager, nervous, happy or dreading this day.

Perhaps a mix of everything and then some.

“I needed something to wake me up. I’ve barely slept, and I’m in dire need of some coffee.”

“You could try drinking the coffee from the teacher’s lounge,” Nanami pointed out, gesturing his head in the direction of a creepy looking and unkempt thermal bottle. “I wouldn’t advise you on it, though. Only professor Ieiri has been brave enough to drink it so far.”

“I guess I’ll take my chances with the foul cafeteria coffee, I might survive that.”

Nanami smiled as he looked at his friend.

“You’re too overly dramatic.”

At that, Higuruma scoffed.

“And you’re too underly dramatic. That’s why I teach the passionate, great chair of Criminal Law, and you’re responsible for the boring, sleep-inducing chair of Commercial Law.”

“It pays the bills pretty well at my firm,” the other professor retorted.

Higuruma lifted an eyebrow, as if offended that Nanami thought that argument would dissuade him from his stance.

They were both silent for a moment before Nanami spoke again, noticing the deep eye bags on Higuruma's face.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?”

“No more than the usual,” Higuruma replied, shuffling on his chair, still focused on the checkers board.

Nanami lifted an inquisitive eyebrow, silent for a while, and Higuruma sighed.

“I mean it. I’m fine.”

Still a little unsure, Nanami nodded.

“Okay. Just reach out and come to my office if you need anything,” he offered, slight concern masked under the monotone of his voice.

“Aw, he likes me,” Higuruma playfully chanted. “So thoughtful of you, my dear.”

“Tsk, shut up,” Nanami scoffed as he got up, taking his neatly folded blazer on his bent arm, “and it’d take me two moves instead of three to have this victory over you.”

“Seriously?!” Higuruma exclaimed, glancing at the board. Upon further inspection, he realized his friend was right. “Shit.”

“Hiromi, go drink your coffee at once. You’re barely functional right now, there is absolutely no way you could teach a class in the state you’re in.”

“Kento, I could teach criminal law in my sleep,” Higuruma mused before lifting himself up. Nanami sighed as Higuruma exited the room.

***

This might be the worst coffee I’ve ever drank, Higuruma thought to himself as he put his cup over the counter and removed his glasses to pinch on his nose. It was all but a failed attempt to air out the foul taste of that watered down, sad excuse for a coffee.

He tried drinking it with nothing — no sugar, no milk, no sweetener, but this atrocity begged for anything to mask the old powder aftertaste.

After folding his glasses and throwing them in one of his suit’s inner pockets, Higuruma let out a heartfelt sigh, just hoping for things to go smoothly that day.

He'd have his hopes torn to shreds in seconds.

Some loud, hasty steps coming in his direction caught his attention, but as soon as he turned to face whoever that was, Higuruma was met with a hot splash all over his shirt and tie.

You have to be kidding me.

“Shit! I’m so sorry!”

He heard a female voice coming from the blurred face right in front of him. Her voice was what he’d call an unusually sweet — if worried — voice. It had a genuinely kind melodic quality to it.

Even if hasty, her words sounded like a heartfelt apology.

Then, she… chuckled?

Hm… What?

She seemed to lean over dramatically and grab something from behind his back.

However, on the way back with her arm, her body brushed against his in a worrying fashion, and Higuruma quickly realized she was about to fall. Even though he was over 24 hours sleepless, adrenaline and his reflexes kicked in, as he held her before she could hit the ground, pulling her against him to stand on her feet.

He was still somewhat disoriented from lack of sleep, and failed to realize his hand was still holding her arm intently before the woman squiggled away from his grip.

There was a red blurry thing under her also blurred face.

Only then did he realize he should probably see her face and talk to her properly about the debacle.

The professor said it was fine and began tapping around his suit, not remembering in which pocket exactly he threw his glasses in. However, before he found it, the bell that indicated the time for the first class rang, and Higuruma realized he had completely lost track of time.

"Fuck," first class and already running late.

The woman seemed to apologize and ran away, leaving him dumbfounded.

The professor finally managed to find his glasses, fishing them out of his pocket and putting them on, glad that his next class was at the building just around the corner.

He walked hastily towards it, and got there in less than a couple of minutes, seizing the opportunity to check on his state on the mirror as he entered the elevator.

The coffee stain was humongous and very evident on his white shirt, but he was glad that at least his black tie seemed to fend off fine from the beverage. As Higuruma passed his fingers over the fabric of both pieces, however, it was somewhat sticky.

He let out a disheartened sigh, stepping out on the corridor and into the classroom, placing his briefcase on the side of his desk.

Now, what will I teach these people today?

Hiromi began ruffling around his papers trying to find the course syllabus, and realized he hadn't brought it with him. These papers were nothing but useless administrative shenanigans, so he decided to wing it in any way he could to illustrate criminal law for the students.

The thing is, how can you effectively grab someone's attention when it's 7 o'clock in the morning, and most people are completely hungover?

With adrenaline, of course.

***

The rest of the class went on without a hiccup, and you had made much more notes than you anticipated you would. His voice had a weird calming and focusing effect on you, as much as you hated admitting it — also, it wasn't so hard accompanying him walking around making his exposition when his face looked like that.

However, you decided you'd talk to him, first off because it would be incredibly uncomfortable to keep going to both of his classes for six months without ever addressing the coffee faux pas, and second because you had just been victimized by the pettiest revenge known to mankind by a college professor.

You kind of deserved it, but still. It was pretty immature, even if he was Dr. Genius who just taught the best class you had ever seen in your life.

"So, students, we'll have a quick test this week," Higuruma stated, "the Dean has requested that all professors use these to assess your knowledge every month, and I'd like to get this over with as soon as possible."

Many sighs and displeased grunts could be heard around the classroom. He leaned over his desk as he sat, putting his papers away in his briefcase.

"I know, I don't like it either, but at least you'll only need to study a week's worth of content, not a month."

Some hm, fine, ugh, were uttered by the students as they left the classroom. You walked hesitantly behind them all, waiting for everyone to leave before you could speak to him alone.

You were already going to be remembered as the girl mock expelled from the classroom. No one needed to know you also had assaulted their professor with a desecrated cup of coffee before that.

As you stepped in front of his desk, he lifted his gaze to meet yours.

"Yes?"

Something you hadn't anticipated was that looking at him — and his hooked nose — up close like this would jumble your thoughts around.

Oh, shit. He's handsome.

Dumbified, you spat out the first thing you could think of.

"So, professor, I'm the student you fake expelled earlier," you stated, realizing he obviously already knew that.

Brilliant. Off to a great start.

Higuruma nodded, feeling something prickling at the back of his brain as he heard your voice for a second time.

"What did you think? Was it a good way to convey this class motif?" he asked, finally closing his briefcase and putting it on the ground, completely ignoring the fact that it was probably an uncomfortable experience for all of the people involved, especially you.

You were a little incredulous at how oblivious he seemed to be, and it annoyed you. Was this out of good heart, or was he playing dumb?

"It was a good exposition, professor, but I wanted to talk about something else," you answered.

“5000 yen.”

“... What?”

“That’s my law firm’s hourly fee.”

You stood silent. He chuckled a little, shrugging back.

“I’m joking. I don’t even have a practice. Tell me what you need.”

Is this guy for real?

You cleared your throat before continuing.

“It felt horrible to be on the spot like that out of nowhere, without any knowledge as to what was going on.”

After blurting it out, you braced yourself, knowing full well by now that professors were usually pretty big ego'd kind of people. Nonetheless, this had to be said, at least for the sake of the next student he decided to torture with one of his experiments.

He looked at you with wide eyes, and seemed to ponder for a moment.

“Oh, I see. My apologies,” Higuruma offered in earnest, while his face softened.

You were very surprised.

“Oh, okay," you mumbled as you scratched the back of your neck, "I accept your apology. But maybe you should really give the student a heads-up next time you intend to do that.”

“That would presume I consider that students are people, and not minions to torture.”

Uh?

“Also a joke.”

“You’re not very good with those.”

Did I say that out loud?

He simply stared surprised at you, seemingly a little shocked.

I did say it out loud.

"Fuck."

And that too.

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Higuruma suddenly chuckled, much to your surprise. Your eyes widened, and you stared at him, extremely confused as to what was up with this guy.

“You're a sincere person," he noted, and you shrugged hesitantly.

Higuruma was definitely amused at this exchange.

He then proceeded.

"Being sincere is good, but my best friend always warns me to try keeping it to myself most of the time. I don’t listen, of course, but maybe you should for now. People get offended easily.”

His exposition made you feel a little less out of place — and less alone, for what it was worth. You instantly remembered your parents used to chide you for blurting out things like that out of nowhere, instead of keeping them in your head like other people do, according to them.

You didn't realize you were smiling as you mindlessly opened your coat.

He took notice of your shirt, and began slowly realizing there was something off about it.

"Is that usual?" you asked, out of the blue.

He shook his head, being pulled out of his head. "What?"

"The mock expulsion?"

"Heavens, no."

"Then, why?" you inquired.

He rubbed his face with his hands.

"Because I needed something to wake mine and everybody else's brain up. Classes shouldn't be this early, and I didn't get a wink of sleep last night."

Higuruma was still out of sorts, spilling the tea of his insomniac state to one of his random students whom he had just met.

"Oh, me neither!" you told him, also absentmindedly, on a stream of consciousness rant towards a professor you were talking to for the first time. "Classes should start after noon, at the very least…"

"I know, right? Some things shouldn't be a crime, but making people wake up this early for class definitely ought to be."

You laughed softly, and you both kept silent for a moment, before you remembered what you thought was the reason for the mock punishment.

"Oh, professor… I'm sorry about the coffee."

He was confused for a few moments before broadening his eyes as he finally realized it.

No wonder Higuruma felt like he recognized your voice from somewhere, and now he took a good look at the red smudge he had seen earlier under what he figured was your face.

It was the ugliest scarf he had ever seen.

"I came here wanting to ask if you had done the fake expulsion thing as some sort of…" you sighed, a little ashamed. "Well, I'd like to apologize for staining your clothes, and offer to get you new ones, or at least pay for your laundry fee if needed."

He lifted one eyebrow at you before he resumed speaking.

"I didn't catch your face then. I mean, I didn't recognize you at all," Higuruma answered, "so no. But I'd never… Well, you barely know me, so you wouldn't know, but my opinion on the matter is that professors that exert selfish vendettas against students, for whatever reason, are absolute fools."

"You didn't recognize me? Say what now?"

He pointed at his glasses, and you finally understood completely how all of this petty revenge narrative was entirely in your head.

"I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay."

"But still…"

He sighed.

"It was a possibility, given how things in a college setting usually go, but that is why we investigate things further before prosecuting, right? A narrative might make a lot of sense, up until you confront it with the gathered evidence."

You joined your hands in front of you, embarrassed.

"Yes, I guess so," you answered, "but please, let me at least pay to get your clothes cleaned."

The professor shook his head.

"Absolutely not. You're an undergraduate student. I've been one, I'm quite aware of the financial hardships most of you endure as I've struggled with them myself not so long ago."

Even though you felt somewhat uncomfortable about not evening things out, he was right. This money would be fairly missed — you were already missing the $2 worth of coffee you didn't manage to drink.

"It was an accident, you didn't cover me with your beverage intentionally. Also, you had to leave because you were late for my class," he paused, "and I'm actually flattered you'd leave someone to fend off for themselves against that foul cafeteria coffee just to run to one of my classes."

You chuckled a little, and he proceeded.

"So, it's okay. You don't have to pay me for anything. This is fine."

You sighed, truly relieved, and he was glad you came to talk to him and properly apologize for the blunder.

"Thank you for your time and kindness, professor. I hope you have a good day."

He bowed his head slightly.

"Same to you."

However, something was still scratching at the back of his mind.

"Hm, hey… since we are on the topic of clothing and I just let you off the hook on paying for my dry cleaning…" Higuruma said, and you stopped midway towards the door, turning to face him.

"This might be an odd question, but I'm very curious."

"Hm… what is it?"

He pointed at your sleeping shirt, now evident under the open coat.

"Are those pajamas?"

You immediately pulled your coat over your hello kitty top, lifting one eyebrow in pathetic defiance.

"Of course… not?"

Higuruma thought to himself that you were turning into one of the most unique students he ever had.

"Do you intend to be an attorney?"

"... yes?" You answered, with some suspicion.

He huffed.

"Then improve your lying game for Court. You can do your crazy, but defend it as if it was the utmost truth in the universe, okay?"

Higuruma couldn't quite explain it, but this conversation with you was strangely amusing.

Maybe going back to the classroom wouldn't be so difficult after all, if even half of his students were a little out of sorts like this.

"... Okay," you replied, removing your hand and letting your pathetic sanrio pajamas shirt show once again.

"So, are those pajamas?" he inquired again, more incisively.

You straightened yourself and made a fake serious expression.

"Of course not."

"Much better," Higuruma answered with an actual smile.

The way his cheek creased around his mouth was weirdly charming, just as most things about him, it seemed.

Trying not to stare, you smiled back at Higuruma and turned around, leaving for your next class with heat prickling against your cheeks.

Tag list:

@arusearu @yammy-yammy-yama @markleeisdabestdrug @redlikerozez @delirious-donna

@alwaysfreakingout @murderofravens @senseifupa @higurumapet @cindyneko-strider

@ohhheymessa @actuallysaiyan @bigbaddulce

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murasaki-cha · 3 months ago

Text

Cale and the Soos but Gen Z

(ft. Choi Han, Alberu and Rosalyn)

(Part 1) (Part 2)

Cale: when I say I have "main character energy," I mean the nerdy introvert with anxiety and a general distaste for humans - Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Cale* Cale: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10. -

Cale: Babygirl I have health problems that would make a grown man cry- yeah of course I'm still going to work what are you talking about

Cale: I love having trauma from an alarmingly young age because when I can't remember stuff from my childhood I get to play a game called "Is This Normal Memory Loss From Growing Up, Or Do I Have Severe Trauma-Induced Memory Repression?" Choi Jung Soo: Oh word Alberu: Preach Choi Han: Fr Eruhaben: Genuinely what in the- Sui Khan: Louder Eruhaben: YOU ARE 13 WHA-

Sui Khan: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering. Sui Khan: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.' Cale pointing: You see where I got it from?

Rosalyn, eating cake: No wonder Marie Antoinette didn't give a fuck, this shit is good Cale: so true girl

Cale: when Billie Eillish said "I cant escape the way I love you" every gen z kid with attachment issues felt that Alberu: So you felt that? Cale: I felt that too much Alberu: Also who is Billie Eillish? Choi Jung Soo slamming the door open: bITC-

Cale: bitches b like “I'm baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches

Rosalyn going to her lesson with Eruhaben: Eruhaben-nim, are we cooking today or what! Eruhaben: Rosalyn, we aren’t… in the kitchen?

Cale: With all this tasks I'm getting from the gods sometimes I wish I was Jared 19 so I never read Birth Of A Hero...

Alberu: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so... Cale: Mood

Heavenly Demon: do you guys know the meaning of patriarchy? Choi Jung Soo: I prefer Spongebob tbh Heavenly Demon: One more word from you Sword Demon and I swear-

Cale: Can I go outside to say a word to god? Choi Han: Yea. Rosalyn: You go outside and start yelling ‘hey what the heck are you!- then ZAP! Cale: I've questioned god before and I haven't died yet.

Choi Jung Soo: I so wish I had a cat personality but I have such a dog personality like I would do everything for your approval, do you want me to fetch your stick just for a lil treat , hell yeah I would with pleasure! Choi Han: Oh that's what it was!

Choi Jung Soo: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? *Sees Sui Khan's cute 13 yo child appearance staring daggers at him* Choi Jung Soo: Imagine the toll.

Cale: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

Cale: A weight blanket is not enough I need to be compressed into a .zip file

Cale with a wine glass in hand: Existence is the enemy The group also with wine glasses in their hands: Cheers to that

Cale: Sometimes that sad feeling is due to low blood sugar, and sometimes it's from decades of history. Not that complex

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spicyllewyn · 1 year ago

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Kinktober 5. - Pregnant / lactation.

Will Dempsey x F!Reader.

Tags & warnings. Pregnancy + lactation. (+18)

As you all know I hate Will for no real reason, this is my peace offering to a fictional character, lol.

Word count. 2K

Summary. You love babying him.

Kinktober masterlist.

Pregnancy was becoming unbearable at times; you felt heavy, your feet ached even after just a few steps around the house, and sleeping at night was turning into a daily battle. Fortunately, there was no doubt in your mind that you had chosen the right life partner.

The only thing keeping you sane right now was Will and how he went out of his way to make you happy and make this whole thing more bearable.

You always joked with him, saying that anyway, all of this was his fault, so the least he could do for you was to fulfill your cravings and massage your shoulders until you fell asleep.

Oh, and that pillow with a hole in the center that allowed you to lie face down.

"I miss my pillow," you murmured in a low tone as you remembered it. You closed the door behind you slowly.

Will's room was just as he had left it several years ago when he left home for college, where he met you. Nonetheless, you wandered around with curiosity, looking at his movie posters that perhaps only he had seen, and the occasional Lego figure that you doubted he would let his future child touch someday.

"I told you we could come up with some excuse."

"Every time you suggest we make up an excuse, it has to do with pretending that one of us died," you rolled your eyes. "Your parents are not believing it for more than two times in a row." When you had 4 walls around you for privacy, your hands went to the hem of your shirt, getting rid of it, clearly tired of wearing any type of clothing.

Will watched you from the bed, as if you were giving him a personal show. His eyes roaming over your bare skin, always lingering a few extra seconds on your breasts before looking up again and pretending that the lack of sex wasn't killing him.

You were both too introverted to simply ask at gynecologist appointments, “Hey, is it wise to have uncontrolled sex against some furniture at this point in pregnancy?” so you just assumed the answer was no.

“Did you do something to your hair?”

You frowned at his question.

"What?"

“I'm serious, I notice something different about you.”

One of his pillows landed right in his face, making him laugh. You already knew that joke too well.

“Yes, idiot, I'm pregnant.” The mattress squeaked as you lay down, only wearing your loose pants and the sports bra that had become your best friend a few days ago because it turns out that your normal bras decided they didn't want to close anymore eventually.

That was the only piece of fabric that kept your tits in place, tight and comfortable. It was also a headache for Will.

The changes that pregnancy had made in your body never ceased to amaze him even though he had analyzed each one for hours as the months passed. There was the obvious, that completely new sparkle in your eyes, your cheeks flushed 24/7 and your skin seemed to be glowing more than ever.

But on the other hand there were the things that made him fantasize about the nights he stayed on the couch fucking his own hand to try to control the impulses that attacked him more times than he would like lately. Your hips became wider, your thighs were softer but oh, his favorite part was definitely your breasts.

Round, full, hard, delicious.

You were complaining about pain recently and he didn't know if that was a sign that he should help you in some way or just not touch you and wait patiently for the pain to go away in a few weeks when the baby was born.

“Did you know…” He murmured, taking his eyes off his phone for a few seconds to look at you. You did the same.

Lying together to chat or just watch stupid videos on your phones had become routine when the pain in your back kept you from sleeping or when you took too many naps throughout the day and all your energy was reserved for the night.

Yes, Will stayed up with you each and every one of those times.

"Did I know what?"

“Did you know that there are freaks who like milk?”

You frowned.

“I like milk, what's so strange about it?”

He rolled his eyes with a small smile.

“Breast milk, I mean.”

“Oh…” Needless to say, you already knew that the father of your future baby was… peculiar. He had perfectly mastered the act of bringing up the strangest topics of conversation lately. You shrugged. “It doesn't seem that strange to me.”

"No?" If your gaze hadn't returned to your phone you would have noticed the mischievous glint on his eyes.

You had taken the bait.

“No, I mean.” There you went, to reason with the madman, always engrossed in his midnight talks. “You used to suck on my boobs all the time, do you mean you wouldn't do it anymore if there was milk involved? Not to mention that you are addicted to eating me out, it wouldn't be the first time you drink some liquid from my body.”

“Mhm.” He pretended to consider your response before nodding slowly, agreeing with you. The truth is that Will had considered the possibility since he had noticed the circular stains that suddenly began to appear on your shirts. “You have a point.”

"See?" You felt triumphant to think that you had changed his way of thinking. Your gaze returned to your phone and you took the topic for granted.

“Though I don't understand how anyone could be sexually attracted to that.”

You looked up again.

“Are you kidding?”

“Of course not, don't you think it's strange?”

You rolled your eyes, finally lowering your phone and placing it on the cabinet next to you so you could face him.

"Do you want to try?"

"What?" He played dumb and you fell into his trap again.

"Do you want to try? I will show you that there is nothing strange about it.”

He again pretended to consider your proposal and with his lower lip trapped between his teeth he nodded slowly.

"Good." He also put his phone aside, sitting up in bed as if considering which position was best to settle into. His pupils dilated when he saw you take off your top.

He had been trying for a long time not to stare at your completely naked breasts or else we wasn't going to be able to control himself anymore. Your nipples were always hard, occasionally with a drop or two of milk running through them, so sensitive and delicious.

You looked at him, clearing your throat to get his attention.

"Take off your shirt." Your voice sounded like an order.

He obediently did so. His tanned skin making your mouth water and making your cheeks blush even more than usual. You were a hormonal mess a long time ago.

“How should I…?”

“Just lay your head here.” You pointed to the hill where your pregnant belly began, just below your breasts.

“But, I don't want to hurt-”

“You're not going to hurt me, Will.” Your voice came out in frustration as you gave two small taps to the area you had pointed out before. He hesitated a little before taking his place there, the weight of his head and part of his body was not uncomfortable, on the contrary, his body heat felt stupidly good.

Skin to skin contact was something you wouldn't trade for a million dollars.

“You look so pretty like this.” You whispered in a low, loving voice. A dopey smile on your face when you had the chance to see him from a completely new angle.

His huge eyes were fixed on you, he had to look up so he could fix his gaze on you while you looked down. Your fingers gently ran through his hair, a while ago you had noticed that his curls became more noticeable when his hair was a little longer than usual.

“Go on.” You cooed while he licked his lips.

You didn't have to ask twice, Will settled into his spot and took part of your breast into his mouth, pressing his tongue against your hard, sensitive nipple.

A shiver ran down your spine, resulting in a wave of pleasure directly between your legs. A delicious heat pooling on your lower abdomen.

He for his part moaned against your skin. You tasted so sweet.

“T-That's it.” You encouraged him with blushing cheeks. “Just like that, baby.”

It didn't take him long to pick up the pace he wanted, you could hear him gulp and suck, over and over again while your trembling hands ran through his hair slowly, comforting him.

You knew how much he was enjoying it when you saw him close his eyes. A couple of drops running down the edge of his lips.

“You taste so fucking good.” It was the only thing he stammered before going back to his job. He rested the weight of his body on you a little more and you didn't complain, you missed having him on you so much, caging you against any surface that he found and his body.

He raised a hand, his fingers squeezing your breast as if he wanted to squeeze out every last drop. His cock twitched under his baggy pants and you at the same time squeezed your legs together, your slick already making your underwear wet and sticky.

“Do you like it, baby?” Your voice was breathy.

It was incredible how your bodies began to react as if you were a pair of desperate teenagers, seeking relief in any friction you might have with each other.

“Help me with t-the other one, yeah? Please?" You begged when you could finally feel some kind of relief on your tit, it was no longer hard and swollen. All this time you had only needed this? If you had known before.

He looked up with dilated pupils, licking his lips with heavy breathing.

"Please." You whispered once more, your fingers giving his hair a light tug that snapped him out of the spell you seemed to have placed on him with just a few gulps of warm milk.

You gave him a push with your hand and he obeyed, tracing exactly four circles around your right nipple before leaning down again and taking it into his mouth. Now that he was almost face down to reach the other side his hips began a slow rocking motion against the bed.

You, meanwhile, squeezed your legs together, your soft thighs giving you a bit of relief that made you whimper.

“Such a good boy.” You closed your eyes, your chest rising and falling rapidly, finding it impossible to calm the rhythm of your breathing. Eventually you understood that it wasn't just the sensitivity of your body, it was the situation.

Your sweet voice praising him, listening to the way he swallowed and the way he whimpered desperately just from the pleasure that sucking on your tit gave him.

You were no longer hiding the clumsy movements of your hips, nor was he the way he pretended to be fucking the mattress. His sensitive cock throbing every time he rubbed against his favorite blanket.

The friction was giving delicious warmth to his needy erection and your milk was doing the same to his entire body. Warm and delicious running through his throat.

Your thrusts were making the mattress creak under your bodies although you didn't last more than a couple of seconds longer. Abstinence was your best excuse to explain why something like this had led you to have one of the most delicious orgasms of your entire relationship.

It was definitely not what you had done per se, right?

When he pushed himself up so he could kiss you you could taste the milk and his saliva combined. You understood well why the taste had driven him crazy.

“See?” You whispered against his lips. “Not weird at all.”

Tag list. @ninebluehearts @shousha133 @unear7hly @onefinnedwonder-fm @automnepoet @lokisremainingsanity @uncle-eggy @just-a-nightdreamer @spktrgantenk @chinglewingledingledong @queerponcho @faretheeoscar @spideyman-peter

Remember to comment if you want to be on the kinktober tag list!! <3

#life itself #will dempsey #will dempsey x reader #will dempsey smut #will dempsey x you #will dempsey x y/n #life itself will

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masterj · 2 months ago

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i'm kinda new to the chuggington fandom. i used to own the episodes on dvd but idk where they went. anyway! I figured it'd be cool to hear the thoughts of someone invested in the show, to get a new perspective on it, so i myself could become more invested! do you have any thoughts you'd share to an amateur train appreciator??

OMGOSH 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀WELCOME ABOARD!!!!! 🚅🚄🚈🚃🚂🚂🚂😄😄😄

I've been into the show since 2011-2012 I think... pretty sure before Cars 2 came out- or maybe after... memory's a bit rough in that area. I was first exposed to the show by my younger cousin who watched it on Disney Junior, or at the time, Playhouse Disney, and also had the DVD Let's Ride The Rails, which I now own, playing in my auntie's van one morning on our way to school. I would later track down Disney Junior myself to find the show.

It was pretty much the main reason I've hung around Disney Junior. As a kid who loved trains because of already being a Thomas The Tank Engine fan, it just to captured my interest so quickly and I was hooked.

I'd say the characters and designs are mostly what I love about Chuggington. While there aren't really antagonists in the show they all have their own quirks and distinction from each other which balances it out well.

Wilson is both my favorite to draw and favorite overall. While I haven't gotten to making my own scripts for my planned fanseries yet, his ADHD personality is just pure spirit animal energy when I look at how he's characterized by the show and by myself. I also relate to him to an extent in some areas. He's practically my son lol

The episodes are mostly well written, and miles better than Thomas was at the time... (*COUGH* SHARON MILLER *COUGH*)

Chris McHale's music for the show some of the most unique I've ever heard and the fact we don't have more of the show's score available in high quality than we do is a crime.

Production slowly went to hell since Season 3 onwards, due to investors pulling out for unknown reasons, resulting in S3 being cut from 26 to 14 episodes, Season 4 being rushed and strictly formulated towards the advanced training agenda, (but the episodes were not by any means terrible) and S5, while better than S4, was entirely funded by TOMY resulting in only 10 episodes. After that, Ludorum Entertainment was on the verge of bankruptcy resulting in the show being on hiatus for five years until Herschend Entertainment purchased them, but things weren't that much better.

Season 6 or Tales From The Rails is sadly where Chuggington truly dropped in quality due to Herschend's low budget and their inexperience with the show. Many characters and locations were written off and a number of the voice actor recasts were not too great. Not to mention occasional mischaracterization (mostly Brewster), continuity errors and overall rather shifty writing quality. The merchandise also plummeted in quality and the pandemic caused several delays, and this whole disaster ultimately led to Season 7 being cancelled as of November last year... 😔

While Season 6 was a failed comeback and is NOT fit to be regarded as canon to the first 5 seasons, it still has a decent number of episodes that are good to okay enough at best, and I do plan on rewriting the misfires of season 6 at some point.

Despite all the hardship this show faced, production, performance, and reception-wise, Chuggington is still very much an enjoyable and mostly solid series. I commend both Ludorum and Herschend for not going down without a fair fight and I've very much grown to love the show just as much as Thomas.

To the point where Thomas content is not my top priority anymore and hasn't been for some time now, seeing as thousands of people do Thomas content already while Chuggington content is very scarce and slow going, even with more people finally appreciating and warming up to it, since there's far worse out there nowadays... media ain't what it used to be so good f---ing luck... 😑

With all the moping and mourning aside, thank you so much for joining us, you don't know how much it means to me to have another person hyperfixating on this underated and criminally disregarded series, but it's important to remember that you don't choose the hyperfixation. The hyperfixation chooses you >:3

I am an artist, editor and headcanon writer, and slowly pushing to write up my own fanseries which takes place after S5, and I even have my own roster of original characters and locations in progress, one OC I've already revealed, and another that was actually created by a Tumblr buddy of mine, @lomotunes2008.

So make sure you follow my art account, @masterjarthub - with notifications on, cuz I may pump out surprises over there!

But for until then, welcome to The Chugger Cult! 🚂🚄🚅🚈😄😄😎😎

Enjoy your stay. 😊

#Chuggington #Chuggington fandom #chugger cult #trains #Chuggington Classic Series #Chuggington Season 1 #Chuggington Season 2 #Chuggington Season 3 #Chuggington Season 4 #Chuggington Season 5 #Chuggington: Tales From The Rails #Chuggington Season 6 #Ludorum Entertainment #Herschend Entertainment Studios

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frodothefair · 5 months ago

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Nisilë vs. protracted SSRI withdrawal, an update.

Welp, here's a health update. As some of you may know, in early 2023 I tried an anxiety medication that I've taken before, had a bad reaction that was initially not recognized as such, and then when I started to get off of it, I had a different bad reaction, which turned into so-called protracted withdrawal. (For those interested in the topic, there's a website known as Surviving Antidepressants, a support group for people in my situation). Apparently, now I have to go off this medication over the course of several years, and I hardly wanted to be on it in the first place.

Anyway, things are a lot better this year than they were last year. The bottom line is that with this condition, things do get better, it just takes an inordinately long time. This time a year ago, if I had a good day it was a miracle. A lot of the time, I felt like I was having a low-grade panic attack, or like I had food poisoning, or like I was hungover. Whether or not I got sleep on a given night was a game of Russian Roulette.

This summer, most days are good, but I still get symptoms every few weeks, or when I encounter certain triggers. One trigger was a simple cold. Another was particularly spicy food. So I've cut out anything that could stress the nervous system: alcohol, coffee, spices. I'm fanatic about wearing a mask in public and avoiding travel. I won't get on a plane unless there's an emergency, because idiots fly with COVID all the time. (I personally know two such people).

But while I could take or leave it with the coffee, the alcohol, and the spices (I'll probably be healthier for it, in the long run), I was absolutely gutted when I learned of another trigger.

I can't do even the lightest exercise for more than 20 minutes, particularly when it's hot. I tolerate it fine in the moment, but the next day I feel like I've been poisoned, I may struggle to sleep, and I get panicky even when there's nothing going on. You'd think exercise would be helpful, but no. It has an invigorating effect, but for me that invigoration becomes over-activation.

So now, where does that leave me? I can forget about travel, because how realistic is travel without at least some walking? I can't sit on a beach or go swimming, and I used to love beach vacations; Hawaii was everything two years ago. I used to be an active person: there was no physical activity I could not do: hiking, biking, skiing, tennis, lugging suitcases up five flights of stairs when there was no help available... I did not do any of those things particularly well, but I had the strength and the physical prowess.

What's worse is that I've been wanting to get back into exercise. I've never done it regularly before, but I'd grown efficient at my job and I hardly take my work home anymore, so I finally have the energy and the time. I'm also in a place where I'm ready to make changes. For instance, I've stopped biting the insides of my mouth, and I'm doing my continuing medical education credits after I get home from work, rather than procrastinating until they're due. I also count my calories again, though without exercise the weight loss is painfully slow.

Anyway... I was in a funk about the above for a while, but I'm happy to say that I'm over it. After all, the mantra on Surviving Antidepressants is "this, too, shall pass." Someday I'll be able to hike and go to the beach again, but for now, I'm ripping through my continuing education requirements, I'm editing old work and putting out new work, and I'm happy to be alive. I am right where I want to be, for the most part.

#ssri withdrawal #mental health #ssri #personal #disabilties

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l3irdl3rain · 1 year ago

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Hi leirdle rain! What do you say to people who think it’s strange or sad to adopt elderly cats? Whenever I suggest it to people who want low-energy cats they look at me like I’m crazy.

I don't blame people at all who don't want senior cats. There are so many reasons someone might not want a senior cat, and the grief of losing them so soon is extremely valid. There are lots of younger, low energy cats in the world that need homes. (That being said you should definitely avoid kittens and look for young adults, otherwise you're setting yourself up for failure.) So while I think it's something most people should at least consider, I also don't blame people who don't want to adopt seniors.

In terms of people telling me what I'm doing is sad / weird, it honestly doesn't bother me if people feel that way. The people who truly know me have seen how happy this makes me. And even if they don't entirely "get it" they understand it makes me happy and they admire what I'm doing for these cats. If they really have a problem with the kind of cats I adopt for myself they're not worth my time.

(I ended up going off on a tangent that is only loosely related so I'm gonna add a read more to this!)

The biggest issue I have is with people judging me for decisions regarding euthanasia / quality of life. It's almost always "oh that cat needs to be euthanized", but I've also received the occasional "it's too soon to euthanize that cat". I'm not going to say these comments don't bother me, because frankly they're rude, but also they don't really get to me. I am the only person who lives with these cats so I am the only one who sees how they are living on a day to day basis. Plus I've been doing this for several years now. I trust myself to make the right decision. And I know if I falter and I allow one of my animals to suffer I have a wonderful veterinarian who is going to let me know I'm being unfair to my pet.

#anyone remember that chick from my part time job that has beef with Duncan?#idk if i ever told you guys but i reported her to HR for talking too much #i didnt mention what a nasty bitch she was bc i didnt want to get her fired as much as i hate her #but she got a warning and she doesn't talk to me anymore #ask

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spork-supremacy · 1 month ago

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The Epically Convoluted Journey of Agent Walker.

Guess who finished the first chapter of the fic they've been writing on and off for weeks. It's me, I am that person. Still not sure on the title but I'm fine with this.

So anyway here it is.

And for those who haven't seen my yammering on this idea. Basic concept is Agent Walker fic but loosely follows the song structure of Epic: The Musical/ The general vibe of the Odyssey.

Hope you guys enjoy.

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Agent Walker just wants to go home. He thought that was the administration, he thought that it was wherever all his stuff was, but he soon came to realise that he didn't really know what home meant, and maybe he should start looking for one. That is of course after he brings all his agents back to the Administration in one piece. He also wouldn't mind if life would just stop throwing side quests at him for five seconds.

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3480 words~

The Man and the Dragon

This was going to be a simple in and out trip. Confirm the rumours that an extremely powerful dragon is powering an entire city and decide what to do with it. All he had to do was command roughly 100 operatives in the field, none of which he had any experience with before, with him only previously having the hyper specific position of manager of realm reassignment, which means you don’t really know many people outside your field. But a simple crash course would apparently do wonders for him and, “The administrator themself said this would be a good fit for you, Agent Walker, you would have a real knack for field work that will prove beneficial.”

Say what you want about the administration but they had operatives to spare when it came to field assignments, 100 is actually on the low end for your regular operation.

“Alright, are we all aware of the mission ahead?”

“Yes Agent Walker!” They all shout in monotone unison.

“Good, just to be sure, I want B team to guard the entrance to the main tower, C team covers all underground exits and entrances, nothing gets in. D team I want to push ahead and make a clear path and mark the way towards the main energy supply room for the A team and I, remember guard the halls while we’re in there. Finally E team, find a way to clear out the guards and create a distraction, I'm sure you already have one prepared.”

A hand raised in the crowd. “Sir?”

Walker recognised the curly grey hair that poked out of the crowd alongside the elevated arm. “Yes, Sub-Agent Prentis?”

“I need your signature for oversight on prospective damages that may occur, marking your full responsibility on whatever happens on this mission.” Sub-Agent Prentis riffles through his bag before pulling out the pen and clipboard that he promptly lifts up to show his supervisor.

Agent Walker does not have the care or patience for any of those multiple sheets he knows is layered on that deceivingly small clipboard. “Give it to me when all teams are deployed.” He says, hoping that shuts Prentis up at least a bit. “Alright Agents, we don’t know what we could end up encountering, just hope you all got some full pens and time, because we’re going to be spending all night on the paperwork after this.”

That gets a laugh out of the several squads, always does considering their very…specific taste in humour.

“Alright let’s roll out remember your roles and execute them perfectly just like we planned, I expect no less from the most meticulous authority in all the merged realms.”

“Yes Sir,” salutes the many agents in turtlenecks and long overcoats as they all get into their respective groups and deploy themselves through the portals that took them to where they needed to be.

Jay turns to the only squad left, team A, the best of the best on field missions, he only knew two operatives on the squad, Underwood and Allen, the rest were completely obscure to him, an assortment of serpentine, merlopians, humans, and administration issued nindroids.

And he has no idea who exactly put him in charge instead of one of them.

“Okay, prepare amongst yourselves until the signal from D team comes through on the intercom, then we move out.”

He walks off the makeshift stage, a small elevated platform, swiping the clipboard out of Prentis’ hands as he passes him, tucking it under his arm, and moving next to the water jug in the corner of the room. He takes a styrofoam cup and fills it ‘til about halfway when he moves off and plants himself on top of a crate pressed against the wall. He tends to find himself in this sort of positioning, prefers it that way, alone with his water cup, far removed from the other agents as they talk to spend the time, just as removed as he felt.

Granted he could do without the forms in his lap that he will certainly ignore until the absolute last minute.

He stares at the field agents as they laugh and chatter amongst themselves, passing the time as they wait for new orders. They all seem so naturally adept at their jobs, they all look like they want to be here, excited to give out authority and fill out forms. He has watched them everyday since his arrival, everyday of the only life he knows, and he still can’t tell if that’s just the way they are or it’s what the realm of madness turned them into. What he could eventually turn into.

He takes a sip out of his cup, continuing his gaze as he looks over the rim, that anxious feeling settling into his bones as he bounces a leg, antsy. His other hand drifts absently to the pendant around his neck, half of what he heard someone refer to as a Yin-Yang medallion, something loves gave to each other, a proposal. he once wondered where the other half went, but after a couple years it wasn't worth the thought. it did make for some fine jewelry though, and something to fiddle with.

“Sir, the signal’s been launched,” says a man, roughly early-twenties, brown hair in a neat comb over and wearing the same attire as every other agent. Well the same as everyone but Agent Walker who much preferred a well pressed suit and blue tie over a stuffy sweater layered with a trench coat any day.

How did he miss him coming?

“Got it, uh?”

“Sub-Agent Carlton.” The man says before promptly moving off, rejoining the rest of his team.

“All right! We’re moving out!” Agent Walker yells to his squad, activating the portal he already preset on his little wrist device. Hurriedly they organise themselves into a single file line and make their way into the freshly created portal and across to the former realm of Imperium.

The coordinates chosen for their arrival is the location of a back alley behind the main tower/energy station for the entirety of Imperium, a shining beacon of light taller than any other building and placed in the heart of the city. Where they arrive however, is a place shrouded in the shadow of the tower and the surrounding high rises, and reaks of the garbage strewn across the floor, a mixture of week old take out and dead animals.

“Remember, while the other teams may have marked out and secured a path for us, it is vital that we get in there without being noticed, as far as the Imperium guard are concerned as of now we don’t even exist and I would like to keep it that way.”

The squad proceeds to move forth with the mission and makes their way towards the basement levels, following the marks on the walls left by D team that directed them to the energy room and hopefully away from any guard patrols, if they were even still in the tower that is. The E team may have been tasked to create a distraction but Agent Walker wasn’t that bothered in the specifics of how they did it, granted he hasn’t exactly gotten word back that they were successful.

Thankfully there were no guards in sight as they weave through the basement level of the building, the grey halls all empty and silent as they coordinately move through them, aside from the odd agent they had patrolling the halls themselves, helping to confirm directions. Eventually the trail came to an end and they were met with a set of two steel sliding doors at the end of the walkway.

The door to the energy station slides open with a rapid motion, the bang ringing through the corridor. Through the doors revealed walls lined with computers. In the centre of it all hovered this bright golden barrier, shining in the harsh warm yellow lighting of the room, adding to its glow. Its presence taking all the attention away from the smaller details of the room, as if it was demanding the attention, the one dark spot on the sphere, outlining large talons.

“Shit, that’s a big dragon.” Agent Walker whispers in awe at the sheer size of such a creature. He wonders how much that thing would need to eat just to be satisfied, 100 pounds of meat, or 1 000? Probably more.

Sub-Agent Carlton, who has been shadowing Agent Walker the entire time, looks down to the tablet in his hands, trying to further pinpoint the species that could be inside the egg-like cage. “There’s a possibility, Sir, due to its sheer size that seems to be larger than any well, recorded species, it could be one of the source dragons of legend.”

“Which do you think?” In all truth Agent Walker has no idea what any of them are, despite dragons being a big part of many realms and several species across them, as well as one of the first creatures in creation, he’s never quite tried with dragon research.

“Just a rough guess but maybe the source dragon of energy, Sir.”

“What do we do in that case?”

“We have to free it, rule mandated, it’s way over the power limit.”

This was supposed to be simple, confiscate a regular high energy dragon, maybe not if it wasn’t that powerful, and go home. Having it be a dragon on par with a god in strength by the sounds of it, makes this a much higher priority mission. “Okay, I want you to get that shield thingy around it down.”

“NO.” Came a gravelly voice, from no clear direction except inside Agent Walker’s own head, and he might just know where it’s originating from.

He turns towards the glowing yellow sphere in front of him, stepping further towards it, climbing himself onto a platform that with a press of a button rises him to the top. He stops at where the talons of the dragon were pressed against the wall of the cage, the size of it so much bigger than it was from down there, almost quadruple Agent Walker’s size in height alone.

“Why should we not let you go?” He asks aloud to the creature on the other side of the forcefield.

“Because if you uncage me you will cause the destruction of all the merged realms, the release of all that suppressed energy alone would level not only this realm, but possibly the next, burning them into nothing but ash.” The dragon brings his head to the forefront of the cage, what once was a blur of dark blue and yellow now in full focus as the jagged edges of Energy’s horn become clearer, and the sharp outline of its powerful jaw came into view. Most attention grabbing was the eye of the beast, so vibrant and yellow, outshining the glow of the already bright light emitted from the cage, so piercing and captivating.

Agent Walker looks directly into the eye of the dragon, swallowing down any fear he has lingering in his system and covers it with what he knows best: copious amounts of attitude. “Shouldn’t you be able to control that? It is your own power afterall.”

“Little Lightning, can you stop the swelling of your power when you feel a heightening of emotion? Can you stop the underlying crackle when you put yourself on guard? If I was to muzzle your power long enough, wouldn’t the build up burst out of you as it continually?”

Walker surveyed the ground below him quickly, checking if any agent had at all heard the name given to him by the dragon. “Quiet about the lightning thing, how do you even know?” He whispers aggressively.

“Do you think that even when trapped I can not feel the presence of someone containing the rawest form of my own power, lightning the purest of all energy forms, the embodiment of -”

“Okay, okay, I get it. You better not be accidentally broadcasting this to anyone else, no one can know, ever, or they’ll put me in one of those special operation units and work me to death, or First Spinjitzu Master forbid, claim me as property like all the nindroids and robots.”

“Do not fret, you are the only one I am communicating with.” And yet a deep suspicion lied within the Agent at those words, sending him into thoughts filled with paranoia, prompting a small silence to wash over the two.

“Hmmm,” Energy hums.

“What?”

“Your organisation is from Ninjago?” the dragon seeming slightly surprised, “I never knew it could develop into a place so…keen on interfering with the matters of other realms. ”

“No, we’re from the Realm of Madness.” Jay corrects him and gestures to himself, as if he was a prime example of a resident of a place designed to suck out your sanity.

“Only those from the land of the ninja would truly know about that man, he is practically their god after all, in fact you should be most familiar with him, considering he produced the element of lighting for the specific use of being a building block of that land.”

Agent Walker was starting to get very impatient with this topic. “Look, energy dragon guy, I just heard the saying somewhere and picked it up, I don’t think having a discussion of where I might come from is very productive right now.”

“Yes. I shall ask though, Little Lightning, why do you plan on freeing me?” A talon raised a little before scratching itself into the wall of the sphere, the sound sending a chill down the spine of the agent, reminding him once more of the sheer power of the beast. Almost as if a warning is being put upon him.

“The administration has a whole thing with the balance of the merged realms and maintaining order, we heard they were exploiting the power of a high class dragon. We were here to check it out and if it was much more powerful than the limit we have set in place, we would free it, things have changed now, though. You are basically a god yourself, we can’t exactly let one of the most powerful beings in existence be hogged by an entire realm. That’s not exactly fair now, is it?” He explains, a slight condescending tone covering those last couple of sentences.

The dragon hums to himself once more.“I see, well if you are so adamant on it you shall need to find a way to absorb all the energy of the field and that expelled from me.”

While Agent Walker definitely understood all of what the dragon had asked, all he can think about is the piles of paperwork he would have to fill out. “Great, I’ll need to send in a construction request, engineering request, relic search form, a 9-p5...”

His train of thought was quickly interrupted by a blaring siren and the flashing of bright red light that encased the room, at first a warning to those who had entered, and a signal to those sent to protect the building.

Walker quickly switches on his intercom and calls out to all operatives in the room and as he slowly descends on the platform “All teams head out and regroup at base.”

Once more Sub-Agent Carlton appeared practically out of nowhere next to him at the ready, “We have a problem, Sir.”

The kid really did love to hand out the news today.

“What is it, Carlton?”

“The portal devices are being disturbed, the frequencies are all off, if we use them there's a good chance we’ll all end up lost.”

“Then we’ll take the risk of getting scattered in able to go home.” Agent Walker responds, not really seeing the issue.

“These are very delicate things Sir, if they break, they’re as good as junk.”

Agent Walker proceeds to raise his voice at his subordinate. “Then file a broken weapon report when you get back, we can always make more but we find it much harder to recover agents that are either captured or dead.”

“But we could all get lost,” Carlton pleads.

“Or slaughtered once security gets here, there’s a reason you don’t want to get captured by a crazy dictatorship.”

“We have the technological edge, we can shoot them from afar.”

“And they could shields to block it for all we know. I don't think you understand this or did your enemy study, we have to leave now, we can signal headquarters when we get out, pick up a ride home, but we can’t do that if we’re all taken prison and have our communication devices taken from us.”

Taking his attention off of Carlton, Walker presses the mic button on his earpiece and shouts into the intercom. “Everyone before you leave, know that when you do you must immediately call for transportation and pick up from The Administration, if your communication device is broken or missing, sorry to say but you just have to walk back.”

“Little Lightning.” Came that gravelly voice again, directly projected into Agent Walker’s head, at this point he believes he’s gaining a migraine from the act alone. He raises a hand to his forehead and rubs his temples. He does not have the time for this.

“Yeah?” He snaps, the adrenaline making its way through blood and shortening his fuse, half his brain focused on getting out of here, and the other on making this conversation as quick as possible.

“You don’t have what it takes to begin this quest, leave it with someone who has the strength and the resources, I see there are things you must do that you can not come back from. Do not argue with this, I can feel your weakness, the fragility of your state, you are not up to the task.”

“Excuse me?” No, he has been given a task by the higher ups. One that is a much larger priority than he once thought. He does this or it’s his head for it. “This is my mission and I have to comply no matter what. I'm sure I can find or make something to solve your energy overload problem, even make something if I have to. ”

Once more the dragon hums in thought before he answers the red haired man. “There is something…but you must handle it well or shall regret it.”

“What?” Agent Walker questions, the desperation in his voice just a little more apparent.

“You must take a baby dragon, preferably a lightning one, the younger the better, they have their own power but because of their youth they also serve to be absorbent to a high degree as their full energy capacity has not been developed. There is a possibility that it can consume not only the shield but also my potential power and the initial destructive wave.”

“What if it overloads?” He asks, fearing he already knows the answer.

“It dies.” Says the dragon, in a tone way too nonchalant for Agent Walker’s liking, “But that is just a consequence if you really are so keen on following your orders.”

“I’m sure there’s another way. I could make something, get someone to make something, we don’t have to risk a life, because while I might be pretty careless with how I handle my job, I would still prefer to not have any blood on my hands.”

“Didn’t you mention that something would happen to you if you didn’t comply with orders? To put it in a way you can understand: it’s either the potential blood of that baby, or yours spilt.”

The scrambling around the room increases as more agents are able to secure their portal networks and making their way through while several members of the imperium guard swarmed into the room, each in their shining bronze armour, the glowing orange blades of their swords raised and ready to strike at the nearest person they could reach.

Yet it was all numb to him for just those few seconds.

His gaze draws back to those he was supposed to be commanding, witnessing agents being dragged back by the guards, digging in their nail-like armour at the tips of their fingers, pulling desperately to inhibit escape and bring back a prize for their empress. Most were fought off with the tasers and guns wielded by the agents, but there was a couple of soldiers he could see winning, swords slowly being pressed into turtleneck jumpers, energy blasters hitting their targets a little too well, and even the faint splatters of blood coating parts of the floor. He couldn’t tell whose.

Turning back to the dragon trapped before him he felt himself get shoved by someone and into the closest portal before he could even give his answer to the god before him.

——

Like I said before hope you enjoyed.

if any questions always feel free to ask.

also gold star for whoever can guess where I got Carlton's name from.

#This was fun #welp onto the moral descisions chapter next #I'm congratulating myself so hard for having only two primary locations in 3 000 words instead of like 4 #ninjago #jay walker #ninjago jay #agent walker #jay ninjago

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wcshedup · 19 days ago

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aroyaltailor asked: Do you have any lore for some of the drugs in Hell? We know about H8 for example. How is that specific drug nastier than the rest?

holy SHIT this is a great question and I'm so glad you asked !! i have a ton of lore regarding h8 and I've never had an opportunity to yell about it one place so i hope you're ready to never hear me SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THIS.

disclaimer !! everything below the cut is 100% fanon lore to this blog in collaboration with @fizzarollitm and @madefate ( a lot of this lore is the brainchild of our group chat over the last year or so )

h8 is a drug exclusively cultivated and sourced in the WRATH ring, where it is sold in very small qualities over the counter in capsules as a type of form of performance-enhancing drug. its desired effects include increased motor function, heightened sense, a decreased physical refractory period, and reduced inhibition. basically, it makes you feel fucking invincible for 6-12 hours.

utilization is typically reserved for older adults who struggle with energy levels and maintaining a personal level of wrath or physical prowess around times like harvest, pain games-like festivals, or holidays like sinsmas. however, because there are several cultural hang-ups regarding its use (notably implications of impotence or being 'past one's prime') among the citizens of wrath, abuse of h8 is generally only found OUTSIDE of wrath.

due to its low demand in its home ring, and the local knowledge that it isn't a substance to fuck around with, h8 is absurdly cheap and easy to obtain and traffic to other rings for the entrepreneurial hellborn.

it has a red, crystalized appearance that comes in a capsulated form over the counter, and in its street form (which comes in a larger crystal) it can be crushed and snorted OR melted to a liquid state and injected. it takes between 2 and 3 times MORE than the recommended dose for the average adult to achieve the high that h8 users -- often labeled as rageheads or h8ers -- are going for.

the effects from consuming h8 in qualities qualifying of abuse include euphoria, increased physical prowess, increased heart rate, paranoia, and jaw tension/stiffness (due to grinding) once a physical dependency is established, a user will begin to experience withdrawal effects 8-12 hours after their last fix, with that window decreasing the further into addiction the individual spirals. withdrawal symptoms begin with irritation and nausea and will progress into violent outbursts and high levels of physical pain quickly thereafter.

once a non-immortal being develops a physical dependence on h8, the likelihood of recovery is EXTREMELY low to none, and this is for several reasons.

the further from wrath the substance travels, so too does the likelihood of the crystal being cut with something non-consumable, such as a look-alike rock sugar or bathroom cleaner. this makes h8's quality variable between dealers and days and makes accurate dosing extremely difficult. as h8 is also an incredibly easy drug to overdose on when taken in off-label qualities, this raises the mortality of its user base considerably.

h8 was never intended for chronic use NOR for use in the qualities that addicts need to achieve and maintain their high. while its effects are intense, so is the physical toll on the body. even a ONE-TIME use will leave an immortal with a raging migraine and an aching jaw the next day, but a non-immortal chronic user can find themselves experiencing muscle wasting, psychotic episodes, and organ failure (specifically the heart, kidneys, and liver.)

h8 is not a substance that you can quit cold turkey. once dependency is established, the user's body will REQUIRE monitored intake of h8 in small qualities until they can be weaned off in a controlled setting, such as a rehab facility or hospital. half of the deaths related to h8 addiction are born out of an inability to obtain the next fix, or failure to procure placement in a treatment facility; at this stage of addiction, the stress of withdrawal on a body already under the stress of such a harsh drug, cardiac arrest is common.

many users also find the sheer pain of withdrawal too great to tolerate, making recovery nearly impossible, and self-unaliving is common among late-stage users.

#THIS TOOK ME DAYS BUT BAM !!#tw drugs #tw drug use #tw death #thinking up as many tags as i can think of for this h8 lore.#feel free to take pieces as you see fit !!#aroyaltailor #aroyaltailor.#answered.

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genderqueerdykes · 2 years ago

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small observations for people who are just starting testosterone HRT

If you suffer from chronic fatigue, chronic illness, or mental illness, you may notice that your energy levels dip down very low after first starting T. this is due your body needing extra energy to process the extra hormones, not anything long lasting. after your body adjusts, this fatigue will go away, and you may actually find that you have way, way more energy now

Beards love to be patchy and mustaches love to be invisible or nonexistent at first. if your beard is patchy at first, or if you just can't grow a full mustache, this is also normal. it can take years of testosterone HRT for beards to become full, especially if you had low T to begin with. moisturizing your beard regularly can help reduce this, and also any potential itchiness from being too long. beards will get itchy for many if they get long.

The acne (should) go away after your body adjusts, and you will not be greasy forever. you will find that your natural body odor smells different, though. this lasts as long as you are on T, as far as i'm aware for most people, but it's only noticeable for me when i get very sweaty after a lot of exertion, or illness.

You may find after you adjust that you have generally a bit more stamina or ease with starting up or adjusting to new physical activities after you've adjusted. it may be easier for you to work out now because you don't become fatigued as easy, for example, or you may find it is easier for you to put on muscle density.

The mood swings will calm down in time- they are most severe right after you start T, and then taper down as your body adjusts. it doesn't turn you into a "rage monster". you just go through normal pubescent moodiness. it's manageable, especially if you have good coping skills like physical activity, journaling, or art while stressed.

Libido goes either way, i've noticed. many people see a huge spike in libido at first, sometimes it stays for a long time, other people don't notice any change whatsoever. also, T for most people will not change what gender or type of person you are attracted to, however it can change how you view yourself in relationships and lead you to changing your identity labels, or questioning things. it generally doesn't make people change their identities overnight, though

Periods do stop for the vast majority of transmascs. it can take a long time, but they do stop if your doseage of T is right for you. if yours haven't stopped and you do not have reproductive health issues, you likely just need a higher dose to see this effect.

Breast tissue reduces in density when higher levels of testosterone are in the body, so it is very likely that you will see your breasts become flatter or even "Deflate" a bit. this is entirely normal. my chest has been like this my entire life due to very high T from hyperandrogenism & intersexuality

Balding can definitely happen, but this is generally only if you have a genetic predisposition to it. i have actually not seen many transmascs bald, although for many of us, our hairlines do shift upwards, but it's not noticeable unless you compare how you look now to older pics of yourself, and generally it takes years for your hairline to migrate anyway, which is natural for AMAB people later in life anyway. even if you do bald, you can speak with your prescriber and have access to medications to help with balding. it's not the end of the road and many respond very well to medication.

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druidbottles · 9 months ago

Text

The Protection of Innocence

Legend doesn't like opening up to people. He wants to be seen as strong. After waking up from a nightmare, a conversation with Wind manages to get him to loosen up just a little. It's not much, but it's a start.

This is just a little something I thought up. Legend has me in a chokehold constantly.

I wanted to write him being soft. And Wind has such little brother energy, I think he probably has that effect on most people.

I'm still new to Linked Universe and Legend of Zelda in general, so I apologize if characterization isn't great!

You can also read this over on AO3!

Legend was a seasoned adventurer, and at this point in his life, there wasn't much that he wasn't able to handle, no matter how much life tried to throw at him. He always managed to make it through even the most difficult of situations. He was strong, and there was nothing he hated more than having other people perceive him as weak.

Which was why it was so frustrating when he bolted upright in the middle of the night, a gasp leaving him as he was shaken out of his nightmare, only to turn his head to the side and see that Wind was awake, and staring right at him with curious, concerned eyes.

He considered just ignoring him, rolling over and going back to sleep without saying a word, but before he had the chance to do anything, a quiet voice pierced through the silence of the small camp they had created. “Are you alright, Vet?” The voice sounded somewhat nervous and unsure, and although Legend really didn't want to discuss this any further, he couldn't ignore that the kid sounded genuinely concerned and meant well.

He sighed and slumped forward a bit, not letting any of the residual tension from his nightmare show on his face. “Just had a bad dream. You gonna be up for much longer?”

Wind looked up at the moon, seemingly thinking about something before shrugging his shoulders. “I've been on watch for a while, so I'll probably be switching out with the captain in a bit.” He went silent for a moment, his gaze lingering just over Legend's shoulder, as if he was too nervous to make direct eye contact. “Do you wanna talk about your dream?”

Legend reached up to run a hand through his hair, instinctively groaning at the thought of sharing his dream with another person, let alone a kid like Wind. “I think I'm good. You should get some sleep, though. I'll take over for you until the captain wakes up.”

When he moved to stand up, he couldn't help but notice an exaggerated pout pass across the sailor’s face. Wind crossed his arms over his chest, casting a wary glance at Legend. “You don't need to coddle me just because I'm a kid, you know. I can handle being on watch just as well as the rest of you.”

Legend chuckled a bit at that, shaking his head as he stood and brushed himself off, making his way towards the log where Wind sat before a crackling fire. “Trust me, it has nothing to do with whether or not I think you're capable. I'm just gonna have trouble falling back asleep now, so I might as well be useful to you.” He settled down next to him, his eyes gazing at the flickering flames. “Seriously, it's not a big deal and I'd be staying up anyways. It'll be worse tomorrow if both of us are low on sleep.”

Wind didn't seem entirely convinced, and a tense silence passed between the two of them for several moments before he finally let out a sigh. “But you're sure you don't want company or something? I know I'm the youngest, but I'm really not weak at all! I can be useful!”

Legend paused for a moment when he heard him say that. He couldn't help but feel sympathetic towards Wind, as he understood the feeling of not wanting to be seen as anything but strong, and that surely wasn't easy for Wind when he was the youngest in the group and everyone saw him as a kid.

It took him a moment to figure out what to say, but with some consideration, he was finally able to speak, his gaze still remaining on the fire in front of him. “I know that you're strong, and trust me when I say that you've been very useful in everything we've done so far. You're young, but you're still a hero just like the rest of us.” Legend spoke earnestly, more softness in his voice than he was used to there being. “But even heroes need sleep. And like I said, it's better that at least one of us is well rested tomorrow.”

He could feel Wind still looking at him, but the younger boy didn't say anything. After what felt like a long time, he spoke in a quiet voice once more. “But you're sure you'll be alright by yourself? I know you just had a nightmare and all…”

Legend paused again as he realized that Wind wasn't just doing this because he didn't want to be seen as a child. Part of the reason he insisted on staying awake was because he wanted to protect him, comfort him after a bad dream. And as much as Legend hated being perceived as weak, he couldn't deny that something about that made him feel warm.

“How about this?” Legend finally turned to look at him and offered a small smile. “I’ll stay up with you during your watch because I'm having trouble sleeping. And if at any point you start to feel tired and want to get some more rest, I'll keep watch until the captain gets up. But only if you decide to go to bed yourself.”

Wind considered this, nose scrunching up in thought, but ultimately nodded his head in agreement. “Okay, that sounds good.”

And so the two of them sat in silence for a long while, watching the flames as they danced in the night air. It was a peaceful feeling, and Legend felt the lingering stress from his nightmare slowly melt away as a cool breeze brushed against his skin and he listened to the soft snores of his companions. When he glanced over at Wind, he could see the boy rubbing his eyes and yawning, but he didn't comment on it. He had made his deal, and Wind would go to bed when he decided on it.

After another little bit, Legend felt a shift beside him, and he looked over to see Wind slowly hoisting himself up from the log. The kid glanced back at him, another yawn escaping him before he spoke in a groggy voice. “You sure you'll be okay if I go to sleep?”

Legend chuckled and nodded, and Wind stretched his arms above his head before grunting in response. “Okay, I think I'm going to try and sleep a bit, then.” He stumbled towards his bedroll, his footsteps uncoordinated and clumsy because of how drowsy he was. “Thank you for taking over for me, Vet.”

Legend nodded in response, watching Wind as he settled down and pulled his blanket up to his chin. “Goodnight.” The sailor spoke in a quiet voice that was laced with sleep, clearly already falling into a deep slumber..

Looking back to the crackling of the flames before him, Legend couldn't help but smile just a little. “Sweet dreams, sailor.”

And when Wind shifted in his bedroll, a contented sigh escaping his lips as he snuggled deeper into his blanket, Legend felt that warmth in his heart again. For the first time in a long time, he felt like maybe it was worth it to open up to someone, that maybe he could trust Wind and the others more than he gave them credit for.

And he considered that maybe next time he was awoken by a nightmare, it would be alright to tell someone about it, instead of bottling it up like usual. That thought made him smile despite himself, glancing over at his sleeping companions, and chuckling to himself. He wondered what they were dreaming about. They all had their own traumas, and he was sure many of them had memories that haunted them, but as he sat in front of the warm fire, listening to the sounds of soft snores and tired bodies shifting in their sleep, he truly did hope they were having sweet dreams.

#linked universe #linked universe fanfiction #lu legend #lu wind #text post #druid writing #druid posting

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