#because i will. not remember otherwise

[bajaja-blast]

you dislike Luke Castellan because he disagreed with an oppressive government system and actually took action to change the abusive ways him and his peers have been forced to follow for millennia.

I dislike Luke Castellan because in the Titans Curse he manipulated Annabeth, who he raised as his little sister, into holding up the sky, the FUCKING sky, for over 20 hours and had the audacity to walk away as though he was completely apathetic towards it while she begged and pleaded with him to help her.

we are not the same.

[indigopoptart]

whiteboarded with @carnivalcarrion !! :3

+ more under the the cut!

+ this again bc. i still love it

[royalarchivist]

Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?

Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.

Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.

Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.

This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

———

Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...

Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:

I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?

Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said–  I was giving them an analogy. 

Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?

I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–

I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.

But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–

[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]

Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.

But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. 

[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.

I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering  and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.

Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.

Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.

But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m– 

Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–

Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[arielluva]

was trying to figure out how to draw their faces

[isbergillustration]

Annual art vs artist recycling of content

[arsenicflame]

happy "our marriage is never gonna recover from this" day

[marzipanandminutiae]

I've gotten some interesting responses to my post wondering if Um Actually 3 AM Is The REAL Time For Supernatural Occurrences was a traditional thing before I first noticed it in the creepypasta boom of the late 00s-2010s, as many of those creepypastas claimed. some of them along "guys. please. reading comprehension" lines, I admit

"Lots of cultures have a Witching Hour!" yes, true, but that's not 3 AM specifically. for a long time it was usually midnight, or an unspecified late night/wee hours of the morning period

"This author says 3 AM feels like depression or vice versa!" that is not about Spooky Things Happening; try again

"early Christian beliefs say-" "well, in traditional Japanese folklore-" sources??? (also from what I've seen while looking into this, the Hour of the Ox in historical Japanese timekeeping was between 1 AM and 3 AM- 3 AM specifically was the end of it, not the beginning. but it was a traditional time for curses)

A mention of 3 AM as a particularly bad time of night re: health, sleep, nightmares, etc. in Ray Bradbury's Something Wicked This Way Comes (1962), which DOES seem reliable and close enough to what I'm talking about

Apparently the 1974 Amityville murders happened at 3 AM, and of course that house had a highly public (probably faked) haunting. So that could have contributed

I haven't yet found anything earlier than that Bradbury reference that SPECIFICALLY mentions 3 AM as a time when scary and/or supernatural things happen, WITH ACTUAL SOURCES

Interestingly, the Bradbury quote doesn't seem to refer back to an existing cultural belief in the idea of Evil 3 AM(TM). rather it's framed as the narrator's personal feelings around that particular time of night:

"Oh God, midnight’s not bad, you wake and go back to sleep, one or two’s not bad, you toss but sleep again. Five or six in the morning, there’s hope, for dawn’s just under the horizon. But three, now, Christ, three A.M.! Doctors say the body’s at low tide then. The soul is out. The blood moves slow. You’re the nearest to dead you’ll ever be save dying. Sleep is a patch of death, but three in the morn, full wide-eyed staring, is living death! You dream with your eyes open. God, if you had strength to rouse up, you’d slaughter your half-dreams ... And wasn’t it true, had he read somewhere, more people in hospitals die at 3 A.M. than at any other time." [I can't find any credible studies of this, for the record]

so it seems like the seeds of the idea were floating around in the cultural consciousness for a long time, between unspecified Witching Hours and the Hour of the Ox curses and this probably erroneous but popular belief that most people who die in hospitals do so at 3 AM. but as for the very strictly-defined notion that Supernatural Things Are Most Likely To Happen At 3 AM...the earliest anecdotal reference I saw to someone having heard that was from the 1980s, and it doesn't seem to have really entered the zeitgeist with force until the late 2000s, earliest

unless someone shows me a source on something earlier, that's what I'm going with

which leaves my takeaway, as a paranormal believer, being: there's nothing supernaturally special about 3 AM, unless it has individual significance to a specific entity or haunting (ie residual apparition of an event that took place at that time). it's something people came up with for interesting fiction, as a fresh take on the longstanding western idea that the Witching Hour is midnight, and not even that long ago

[aroaceleovaldez]

very specific opinion i have:

I don’t think the Lotus Hotel & Casino should automatically acclimate its inhabitants to the modern time period, because the entire point of the hotel is that it’s trying to keep people there and they will never leave, so the ideal scenario is to prevent them from experiencing the passage of time. The best way to do that would be to keep things changing as little as possible from the guests’ perspectives, and convince them they’ve spent less time there than they thought.

Even though the guests are canonically in a sort of daze, Percy specifically notes that time felt extremely distorted in the hotel, not just in the sense of “we were here for what felt like hours but outside the hotel it was a week,” but in more of a “It only feels like we’ve been here like half an hour, but i guess it might have actually been a couple hours or so- oh, a week has passed outside.”

I like to imagine the hotel is actually pretty labyrinthine when you start getting into it, and the deeper you go the older the sections of the hotel start becoming, so you get these really eerie effects when traveling through it. Especially since the hotel would theoretically shift with the other mythological locations, so if you go back far enough the hotel probably starts getting really weird, because also it’s just kind of infinite inside. People have definitely gotten lost in the depths of the hotel forever, outside of the whole never leaving the hotel thing. The di Angelo siblings might have been slightly extra resistant to the daze effect though and so were able to travel further outside their designated era wing than they normally would and start noticing that there was Something Really Weird Going On. But it still probably would have taken them awhile.

[astrangergivingthestrangewelcome]

God I can't Stand how people (and many if not most of them women!!) will see a group of girls get together like in the context of a summer camp where most of the counselors are girls, or whatever, and be like... "oh man, the internal conflict is going to be insane this summer, you know because it's all women and no guys." I hate, hate, HATE it. Not because I think a work environment composed of all women is going to be naturally harmonious, absolutely not we're not the fairer sex and we can butt heads and be assholes and all that but like !!! I cannot believe I have to say this in 2024 but that's not an inherently feminine trait!! As if all-male workplaces don't have petty dick measuring contests and are just beacons of community. As if co-ed workplaces don't have drama. Do social constructs affect how people of different genders are bitchy to each other? Sure absolutely. But like... bitchiness is a human trait. Tired of people just treating workplace drama as normal except when it's between women then it's bc they're women

[butwhatifidothis]

I just wanna just. Say something real quick, with the year ending soon.

3H is the one saying that the Nabateans were nearly all killed off.

3H is the one who has the Agarthans be the ultimate bad guys in every route and have them be defeated in some way in every route.

3H is the one saying that the Nabateans were defending themselves against power hungry humans and were the ones to restore everything power hungry humans destroyed.

3H is the one saying that the Agarthans knew that Nemesis was just a bandit who cared for nothing but power - that Nemesis was not some freedom fighter, but a genocidal tyrant.

The creators of 3H are the ones saying that the Nabateans never tried to "control" humanity, only that they ruled over them.

The creators of 3H are the ones saying that Nemesis and the Agarthans killed the Nabateans for power.

The creators of 3H are the ones saying that Rhea never tried to control humans when she made the Church of Seiros and rewrote history.

The creators of 3H are the ones that made the one route where the Nabateans are specifically targeted as enemies who "need" to be gotten rid of and the one route where you work with the Agarthans in any way the one route they explicitly say is the villain route.

There is no ambiguity in 3H that is enough for the interpretation of Nabateans being evil and the Agarthans being good to hold water. None. Both within the game itself and through the words of the creators, everything makes it clear that the Nabateans are the victims who are generally a source of good and that the Agarthans are the victimizers who are generally a source of evil.

And there is a reason that the people who insist otherwise have to lie about what the Nabateans have done in order to make them look wrong. There is a reason why they have to turn to the noncanonical spinoff game to get anything more to "back up" their claims - and why they still have to lie about what that game says anyway. There is a reason why they would rather support a group of characters who have proven themselves willing to instigate genocide against innocent people for power even when not accounting for the Nabateans, regarding the Tragedy, than say there is anything good about the Nabatean race at all. There is a reason that, in their reasonings and explanations as to why the Nabateans are evil, in their rush to say what they think should happen to the Nabateans, these people always fall back on real life, genuine racial supremacy rhetoric.

There is a reason why, even when directly told by victims of this racial supremacist rhetoric that what they're saying harkens back to racial supremacy, they continue to say the racial supremacist rhetoric - why they defend the racial supremacist rhetoric as "not being the same" because the Nabateans' race "doesn't actually exist." There is a reason why they insist that their racial supremacy rhetoric that is the exact same as every other racist's supremacy rhetoric about actual, real life races of actual, real life people is just being "taken out of context" - why they not-so-subtly imply that racial supremacy rhetoric has contexts in which they are okay to say.

At this point I'm not really going to sugarcoat it: if you see someone try to make the point that Nabateans are all evil and deserved the genocide that fell on them - or that what happened to them wasn't a genocide because they are all evil, or there totally weren't that many of them so it isn't a genocide, or there's totally more in some unseen unexplored location we just never see or hear about so it isn't a genocide - and/or that the racist, murderous, genocidal Agarthans were the good guys who "the writers failed to make look bad," despite everything directly pointing towards the opposite reading in every context of the game, know that they are almost certainly not doing so with any good intentions. They are almost certainly using the fictional nature of the Nabateans' race to use as a shield to spout racist rhetoric they know they "aren't allowed" to say about real races. This is far from the first time racists have done this regarding fictional races, and it will not be the last time either. At the absolute best, they are uncaring about how they are rationalizing rhetoric used to dehumanize real life people just to make some point about fictional characters, which is frankly not that much better.

This isn't about discourse, it isn't about whether people think Edelgard or Dimitri or Rhea or Claude or any other character did this or that, it isn't about war criminals, it isn't about theories or meta or what have you. This is about the real world rhetoric people like this slip into the fandom sphere in order to normalize it. This is about how these people set themselves up as pillars of their communities so that they can normalize this rhetoric without anyone able to stop them from doing so or stand up against them. This is about how these people silence the few who do speak against them if they're able, and set up anyone who speaks against them that they can't directly silence as "attackers," "spies," these dangerous interlopers who are trying to shut down a "safe space" for "no reason." This is about how they've been doing this for years now.

I've personally given the benefit of the doubt to others who've genuinely ignorantly done things like this before, but this is too consistent, insistent, and long-standing for it to be anything else but racism from those who peddle this rhetoric, whether due to being racist themselves or through their indifference to the topic of racism. Regardless of the whys of the matter, it had led to the 3H fandom to housing cesspits of unopposed racism that breed hostility and harassment to others; at the absolute least, the harm and danger of this mindset and everything it leads to and has already led to should be made clear

[tackykachowch]

By the way, did we ever talk about how stupid it is that they made Silco the reason Felicia died? I don't mean that he killed her personally, but that he jumpstarted violence on a peaceful protest. Because that's sooo who Silco is, right? A character who makes impulsive and poorly thought out decisions, right? A character who goes into a fight headstrong without carefully planning his moves and strategy and just YOLO-ing it, right? Right?? ......sigh

And don't even THINK about giving me the whole "wElL hE cHaNgEd SiNcE tHeN dUh" crap. Even s2 is smart enough to show us him writing something in a notebook in a flashback, which implies that he was the brains behind the Lanes' creation/revolution as a whole. And if he was he would never sabotage his own plans with something so stupid as throwing a single molotov at enforcers. Literally who does that???? Silco we know would probably organize an attack under the guise of a peaceful protest, but not just. Straight-up ruining just a regular peaceful protest. That's stupid. And Silco is the last character in arcane that would do something stupid. Literally the whole plot of season 1 relies on him being intelligent and sneaky with his plans are you kidding me.

[royalarchivist]

Pepito: It doesn't matter if you're not with me all the time, I'm gonna love you.

Quackity: Aw, I'm gonna love you too, son! 🥹 I'm sorry, come here! I love you son, I love you. I just want you to know that you're my greatest son ever. I wish you could've met Tilin, because Tilin was also a great- a great daughter of mine.

Quackity: Tilin is taking care of you and me from the sky.

It means a lot to me when characters choose to keep living, despite all the horrible things they've experienced, so here's a small tribute to choosing life in spite of suffering, and to two Eggs who made life so much better for q!Quackity and everyone on the Island. ❤️

[secondbeatsongs]

disco elysium AU where it's disney's fillmore and everyone is middle school hall monitors send post

[starrymarii]

Sum attack on titan friends :0

[cillyscribbles]

here's to many more for mr gruber himself!!!!! >:D