#because i dont matter
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i try to trick myself into thinking that my art matters. that i matter. but who am i kidding. i dont matter. my art doesnt matter.
#im just posting into a black hole of nothingness#where my words and art will disappear into the void and never see the light of day#because i dont matter#my memories dont matter my life doesnt matter
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please stop scrolling and take the time to read this.
i don't think people understand the extent of the horror happening in palestine right now. "death" means nothing to people because of desensitisation so let me just tell you what white phosphorus is. it's being used in israeli munitions and has been and will continue to be fired across gaza and the palestinian borders.
white phosphorus burns when it comes into contact with oxygen (at nearly 800°C or 1500°F. the human body can withstand ~50°C for reference.) the air you breathe in ignites and it is near impossible extinguish. it sticks to clothing and skin and is very difficult to remove because it will continue to ignite in air. it burns flesh up to the bone and even past the bone because it penetrates tissue and is absorbed VERY easily. if you inhale it it'll destroy your respiratory tract and lungs. it can cause failure in multiple organs including the liver, kidneys and heart. it is being released in one of the most densely populated places on earth.
the only way to treat someone exposed to white phosphorus is to submerge them in saline or water and to pick out the substance with forceps, and when you undress a wound the substance can re-ignite. this is just ONE weapon that is being used to kill palestinian people right now. palestine does not have access to medical care, humanitarian aid, power, or internet. their hospitals are being bombed. gaza is one of the most densely populated places in the world with over 50% of the population being children. many children are the sole survivors of their families. there are videos of children experiencing panic attacks and symptoms of ptsd. the fact that israel has committed war crimes in plain sight means that we can only imagine what will happen to the palestinians in complete darkness.
israel has and will continue to deny this. your interests and fandom will still be here, you will wake up tomorrow morning and see your friends and family, but an entire nation of people are being wiped off the map. being silent is being complacent. reblog, spread information, tell people in real life, attend protests, sign petitions, call your government offices, at the very least be angry and upset and horrified because once you become numb and indifferent and hopeless the oppressors will have already won.
what's happening right now is more than a genocide and once it becomes a part of history we'll wonder how the world let this happen. genocides have been part of all nations. just because it is far away does not mean you don't have to be concerned. the fact that YOUR governments and YOUR idols and the people around YOU are supporting the mass eradication of an entire group of people should scare you. it shouldn't make you feel anything less than sick and angry and disgusted. DO something about it, no matter how small you feel your voice is, because palestinians no longer have one.
[edit] links to some helpful reblogs: one & two
post on how you can help palestine
learn about palestine with this masterlist of info
+ a further reblog of mine
[edit 2] about palestinians "not having a voice" at the time i wrote this post internet connection was cut off entirely and even journalists weren't able to report for a period of time — that is all i meant by that. they of course have a voice and i never meant to undermine how people are risking their lives in gaza to get information out there and i apologise if thats what people took from it, it was not my intention but it is entirely my bad. please continue to spread information and updates from gaza as they come.
#please reblog with any useful resources you may have#or just in general#i dont care that this is a fanfiction blog because nobodys bloody made-up characters are important right now#look through tags and reblog the newer things because theyre being supressed#no matter how many followers you have#israel palestine conflict#free gaza#palestine#gaza#gaza strip
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"I sense my padawans. Aayla Secura shimmering in the force — a beacon of blue light."
— Star Wars: Republic #75
+ close-up undercut
#i dont know how to make myself like this. whatevs#luv her#close up just for fun because tumblr is very committed to ruining the quality no matter what#the clone wars#star wars#tcw#aayla secura#deckdraws
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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there is just something about the difference between edwin's love interests and having the cat king's reaction to edwin in hell being "i'll be waiting when he gets back" vs charles "no version of this where i don't come get you" rowland convincing a powerful trans-dimensional being to open a door to hell just so he could get him back
i am insane
#like YES i know there is obviously so much more history between the boys than edwin and the cat king#and for everyone who's like “well how would the cat king have gotten to hell”#yall charles got LUCKY that the night nurse was there to open a door for him#you can bet your ass that if she hadn't been there he still would've figured out how to get there no matter what it took#but the cat king calling himself a romantic because he'll wait vs charles GOING TO HELL TO GET HIM BACK????#absolutely insane#i cannot handle these two#like i can vibe with the cat king#but charles x edwin for the WIN#obviously the circumstances between the characters are a lot different#but to me that changes absolutely nothing about the fact that charles who only thinks of edwin as a friend would do literally anything#vs the cat king who claims to have fallen for edwin doing literally nothing and just sulking about it#i don't even care if you dont ship charles and edwin#the love they have for each other will forever outweigh anything else#(ps if you ship catwin you simply do not need to interact with this post. you will not change my mind)#(you do not have to interact with posts you don't agree with)#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#charles rowland#edwin payne#the cat king#painland#payneland#dbd netflix
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Elementary, dear Data
After about 7 years the Star Trek TNG hyperfixation is back full force. It's so strong that I am feeling Distressed and the only way to quiet the bees in my brain is to draw Data constantly. So here's something I drew from a behind the scenes photo (I excluded Picard because this is Sherlock Holmes, not Dixon Hill </3)
#star trek#fanart#star trek the next generation#artists on tumblr#digital art#illustration#digital artist#my art#star trek tng#tng#st tng#tng fanart#star trek fanart#geordi laforge#data soong#daforge#yes i'm going to tag all of my data and geordi posts with daforge even though i see them more as queerplatonic#because i dont really mind any interpretation of them#i love them no matter what <333#tng data#tng geordi
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[Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations.]
#Isat#sasasap#sasasaap spoilers#sasasaap siffrin#isat siffrin#isat loop#isat spoilers#two hats spoilers#in stars and time#HEEEYYYYYYYY YALLLLL.....#This is a lot bigger than I thought it would be but lmao here you go <3#sorry for how big it is I dont. know how to format this Tumblr wise???#I dont usually do big ass projects like this and then post them#Also if you get the reference youre fucking awesome as hell btw#despite both mira and Isa in frame.. I am not fucking tagging them <3#this is all about them but they are also not part of this so lol sorrryyyyy#also i made a slight mistake but you dont fucking see it so thats all that matters to me#(several mistakes Im ignoring because this took fucking DAYS)#Anyway hope this doesnt take over the dash my apologies ahead of time if it does </3
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What would Peri’s power level be if he didn’t have his inhibitor/stabilizer wand and just went apeshit?
While Cosmo deals with too much magic in his body, Peri suffers from a slightly different issue. Cosmo has the greatest amount of magic in Fairy World. Peri is incapable of regulating his magic.
Peri cannot, not then as a child and not now in the present, control his magic. Without his inhibitor, he can easily destroy an entire realm- just as he nearly destroyed Earth as a baby. This fact has not changed, although it is less plausible today than back then.
Peri's taken extra measures in the present-day to ensure it cannot happen.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
Instability: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop wanda#wanda#fop timmy turner#fop timmy#timmy turner#asks#itty bitties fop au#clownjacket#ok last of the first batch!!#also if ur wondering about their anti-counterparts. i have an ask for that !! but like. they've the opposite issues.#AC has near-zero magic and irep has precise control of his magic!#cosmo doesnt deal with his problem anymore because half of his magic is shared with wanda now since they're a bonded pair#and AC borrows his wife's magic since they're ALSO a bonded pair#ALSO ALSO#FAIRY BLOOD!!!!#ITLL BE ITS OWN POST!! in the distant future though bcs i dont have any asks for it and.#and there's a fop post somewhere in my blog. thats specific about fairy blood. i found it so fuckign neat i want to incorporate it in my au#but i need to FIND IT FIRST#the post is a drawing of irep and peri in a fist fight and theyve opposite blood on them (black/white blood)#and its so!!! AOUGHG !!!!!#once i find that post ill make a whole worldbuilding ramblings about fairy blood. but like. what I WILL Say is!!#fairies bleed ichor!!! and all 4 courts have different colors !!! pixies bleed blue. thase all that matters here for now haha#haha man timmy. ur drained of all ur magic and ur bleeding heavily from many vital places and ur first thought is poof? priorities man!!
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imagine, say, Bunnyx went back to Origins Season 1 and pulled Gabriel aside as he was considering picking up the Hawkmoth mantle and showed him, "Look, Gabriel. If you continue on this path, you WILL succeed in getting the Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous. You WILL make a wish. But getting there will tear you apart. You will lose what humanity you have, you will literally rot away from the inside, spend the last months of your life in agonizing pain, Nathalie and Adrien (the only two people in your life you can even pretend to care about) will spit on your name and Nathalie will grow to despise you so much she will attempt to kill you. And your wish? It will NEVER bring Emilie back. You won't even be able to bring yourself to do it, because you'll realize that you've become everything that she hated and never wanted you to be. Emilie WILL STAY DEAD, and in the end, all you will be able to wish for is an end to your now-miserable life. All this gamble will win you is your grave."
idk I just don't think Gabriel's response to that would be "oh yay! I win!"
#honestly I'm a firm believer in Gabriel's win condition being ''Emilie is revived''#if Emilie was revived in any capacity i would agree that he won. no matter what. even if she hated him even if he died#if emilie lives then gabriel wins#because that was his Only Goal#but emilie didn't live. so i dont know how this could be a win for him yknow?#the only 'positive' part of his wish was saving nathalie. but nathalie would never be dying in the first place if it werent for his actions#he won the battle in a sense on a purely technical level but he absolutely lost the war and achieved none of his goals#ml s5 spoilers#ml re-creation#re-creation spoilers#ml recreation#recreation spoilers
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never change, man !
#phantom of the paradise#potp#swan potp#nightmaretheater#65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp#Look into my beautiful mind boy#Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw#but i had to push a specific look for this piece#hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look#Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan#I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That#as awful as he is he desperately needed help#it might seem like vanity on the surface#but i think its… more than that#long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry#It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again#i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems#he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away#anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him*#i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal#sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick#i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad#*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha#sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please#adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse#to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like#the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this#sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol
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i still just cannot get over beyond birthday as a character because everything id ever seen in fanon before reading LABB indicated that he was some kind of dark spectre haunting L's past and then i read LABB and not only is he just a weird crawler freaking it crab style on the floor, L does not even interact with him one single time. he just makes naomi deal with it. like sorry can you fucking imagine being BB and spending your entire life obsessing the fuck over the guy you see as the bane of your existence and your eternal rival forever and you try doing murders so you can finally defeat him and he fucking delegates you. and then he goes and becomes eternal rivals forever with a gay high schooler
#death note#funniest possible character#i also dont think he looks anytbing like L because of the heavy makeup hes said to wear so like#not even the evil twin. just an evil cosplayer#and so desperate to get caught you can peg him as the killer literally immediately like in a matter of pages#rookposting#i know the book is trying to get you to think 'ryuzaki' is L but did anyone actually fall for that like come on
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so, would you?
nothing important under the cut, you don't need to look haha
#inspired by the random youtube short i saw about how these types of questions are not really about logic but about emotion and reassurance#doesn't matter if the question doesn't make sense. you say 'yes' because you love them no matter what. not because its a worm or a bug or#or anything. its a way of saying 'i will love you when you've changed and when you're different. because it's still *you*.'#idk something about it just felt so gentle and genuine. like a pure display of affection through a silly question...#and of course fnc was the first thing i thought about because i got brainworms#jrwi fish and chips#jrwi riptide#jrwi chip#gillion tidestrider#my art#sketch#also im back from a vacation! and i feel so awful i got sick the first day home and im sitting here at 6am drawing fishes and chips#the dialog feels a little ooc but i cant figure out if it really is or if its because my head hurts and i cant think#tbh it doesn't really matter.......... but it matters to me augh#ALSO yes the under the cut bit is about episode 109. i dont know if its clear or not
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bro do u know who's an idol that i wanna gatekeep soooo bad? dokyeom. like this is a man who's so crazy talented that he's lead vocal of a hugeee group, belts high notes Just For Fun, is moodmaker, energizer, sunshine of the group, cute and funny and adorable and sexy buff all at once and is ALSO the leader of the incredibly successful bss on the side?? he's been in a musical, TWICE (bc he was so good that they called him in to reprise the show), and no matter how much he struggles he literally never fails to have the hugest smile on his face. he's caring and gentle and loud and bubbly and he's so fucking GORGEOUS. like it's actually insane how beautiful he is. people don't appreciate him enough and i think that this is a sign that we start gatekeeping him bc if lee dokyeom is gonna be treated with anything other than kindness and love, then others don't deserve to know about him at all.
#yena talks#ramble post#dokyeom.svt#came home with many deekay feels today bc i saw is wv post and it made me flip#im so serious when i say that he needs to be gatekept because hes literally so precious#he's someone who deserves to be only loved because of the sheer akount of love he gives out to the rest of ghe world no matter what#and if you cant treat him with that same care and respect then you dont deserve to fucking know him#dk#dokyeom#svt#seventeen
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consumed by the inevitable
#messyr#you know- I kept thinking: One day. The cage will be open but I feel like I'll stay. Because if I run- I'd wind up dead from their bullet#so I just- tend to- follow as much as I want to rebel and put sense into this fuckass household. I hate seeing the others in pain as well#and it hurts more that it feels like I can NEVER be the one to break this cycle of abuse- when I knew from the start- when I knew too much#but here I am ending up like the rest of them- helpless and unable to do jackshit about the situation. I cant say or do anything at all!#I dont want to end up like them- if anything I want to BREATHE- i want all of us to LIVE without this pain that has existed for generations#I want to help so bad no matter how much I know I am unloved.#no matter how much hate i carry- no matter how much burden- Underneath it all- I'm devoted to them- that's how fucked up I am#i know i'll never be enough. I know how often I think of death and wish it.#But I have a dream to achieve and I am not planning to die until I reach it. Not yet. If pain is where I strive best then so be it.#doodle#vent art#artists on tumblr#bpd#toxic behavior#learned helplessness
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what did you think they were doing (•ิ_•ิ)
#sans#graph#graphsans#graphart#i went overboard with this because. i feel the joke gets lost lmao. i have no idea how to do glow effects. eugh#i mean its funny thats all that matters to me#i dont wanna spend more hours on stuff i already enjoy how it looks.#also its my eepy time gn <3#btw this is a scene. for a thing. you wont know about it for years dw about it
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im a child of divorce
#the bit is over when i say its over and even when its so joever for these two its not over for me!!! (once again i am on heavy copium)#anyway. thoughts behind the spoiler tags#gempearl#shiny duo#wild life smp#life series spoilers#wild life spoilers#i feel like. i actually was expecting that#no but its so funny the one time the negative consequences of something does actually get acknowledged its the SL finale ‘betrayal’/j#like cmon fuck me i guess/j (BIG EMPHASIS. ON THE SLASH J. OKAY.)#but honestly though i did expect Gem to hold a grudge over the 2v1 in SL. and. its good that there are consequences???#it IS a ‘betrayal’ in Gem’s eyes. they were friends. they were murder besties for the last two sessions and then Pearl chose Scar over her#and its awesome man. [through gritted teeth] this is awesome man this will be good for character development ok ok ok. ok?#its also got something to do with Pearl having the red creep in. i think#because during SL Gem was like. nearly idolising the Scarlet Pearl persona while vaguely aware that her own reputation has a similar effect#and yknow. the horrors. the fact that their image is so heavily built on what others deem them to be and they can only play into it#but by the end of SL Gem gets ‘betrayed’ by this persona that she looked up to#and also her own ‘GeminiSlay’ intimidating image is also starting to fall apart. partly of her own will#and now shes watching Pearl slowly turn red again. and this time she knows its not good for her or Pearl#so shes distancing herself from it. shes ‘trying to fix her reputation’. she sees Pearl falling into it again and just. no. i dont love you#you betrayed me last season#but on Pearl’s end of things she’s already deep into the idea that as long as you say you ‘forgive’ someone then everything thats happened#in the past doesn’t matter and they can all be friends. and nooo absolutely no grudges will be held. no emotional repression here#so. because thats happened to her in her own team she thinks the same can happen with her and Gem#and thats so. im going to blow myself up now
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