#my memories dont matter my life doesnt matter

[xsaintseraphx]

i try to trick myself into thinking that my art matters. that i matter. but who am i kidding. i dont matter. my art doesnt matter.

[bloodcoveredgf]

longlegs is a movie about mother/daughterhood for real. throws up thinking about it actually

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[nero-neptune]

still watching manhunt. there's something about seeing black people in shows or movies set in the 1800s. there's this mix of sadness and anger i always feel bc the fucking unfairness makes me sick. and if it's something set the south? then i know that members of my family i'll never know would've experienced that. it would've been All they ever knew.

i always say "i'd hate to live back then" (bc um! i would!!), but i have to remember that they still lived. they had lives, despite the shit they had to endure. at the end of the day, the very fact that i'm alive means that plenty of my black ancestors existed and lived their lives while black in america (the american south, at that). through slavery, emancipation, segregation, integration, and on and on. so idk. i'm sure there were many different things in their lives that made their lives worth living. if nothing else, it was a life. and i doubt they saw their lives as some endless hopeless tribulation.

anyway, manhunt's a good show. got me pondering shit lol.

[spacemilkbag]

.

[xdarkabyssx]

Why couldn't jk Rowling just be a good fucking person??? I have all these Harry Potter decorations I saved up for YEARS for when I had a place of my own to decorate. They're so cool! But I just. Feel too fucked up about it to use them

Like she HAD to go and actively promote genocide against people like me

Like damn

[orcelito]

Calmed down from the panicking but i 100% found blood in tally's poop and so I'm gonna have to take her to the vet asap lol

She's acting completely normal rn at least. That's the one assurance I have rn.

[slowdrippingnoise]

g*d this sucks so bad

[redvore]

no fucking wayyy. lock in bra 😭😭😭😭

[toastsnaffler]

well.

[norrizzandpia]

This Is About Oscar?! (OP81)

Summary: Y/n’s new song exposes a side of Oscar no one knew about.

Warnings: the whole thing is basically just about sex, language

y/nnn Surprise! 34+35 out tonight 💗

Comments:

oscarpiastri i think its pretty good

- y/nnn you only think that for one reason and we both know it

Liked by oscarpiastri

oscpastry guys… 34+35= 69……..

- mclarensgirly i fear we are getting the WHOLE story

- pieasstree YOU FEAR??? I WANNA KNOW

- mclarensgirly I MEAN ME TOO BUT HOW WILL WE LOOK BABY OSCAR IN THE EYE AFTER???

landonorris im scared oscar hasnt stopped smiling all day

- oscarpiastri what can i say? Its not everyday your girlfriend writes a song about you

- y/nnn babe youve heard the song im not sure you want to go broadcasting it that its abt you

- oscarpiastri are you kidding????? Of course i do

—

y/nnn 34+35 out now (oscar wanted me to make it known the song is about him 🤦🏼‍♀️)

Comments:

oscpastry THIS SONG??????? IS ABOUT?????? OSCAR PIASTRI?????? THE RACING DRIVER??????? FOR MCLAREN???

- mclarensgirly YEAH WTF ARE WE MISSING SOMETHING

- pieasstree “you drink it just like water, you say it taste like candy” WHO IS THIS MAN

oscarpiastri this is the best day of my life

- pastry81 i dont know who you even are anymore

- f1butmore-mclaren how did mclaren even sign off on this

- y/nnn its my music i choose what i release all that mattered was if oscar was comfortable (he was comfortable to a degree that was concerning)

- oscarpiastri real

landonorris most recent google search: “how to erase your memory and ability to hear and see” i can never look either of you in the eye anymore

- y/nnn I TOLD YOU NOT TO LISTEN TO IT

- landonorris I DIDNT THINK YOU WERE GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY TEAMMATE THAT GRAPHICALLY

- y/nnn thats your own fault then

—

Twitter Thread

pieasstree youre gonna tell me 34 35 is abt this man.

- oscpastry “even though im wifey you can hit it like a side chick” is dick whipped the correct term for this???

- mclarensgirly plz never say dick whipped again but yeah i believe so

- pieasstree WE ARE MOVING AWAY FROM THE MAIN TOPIC OF CONVO. HOW IS THIS ABOUT HIM. IT JUST DOESNT MAKE SENSE.

- oscarsmyfav i dont know what i was expecting from that song but “i know all your favorite spots, we can take it from the top, youre such a dream come true, make a bitch wanna hit snooze” WAS NOT IT.

- hisrookieseason “i dont wanna keep you up, but show me can you keep it up cause then ill have to keep it up” I HEARD THAT AND IT ALL MADE SENSE

- oscpastry YEAH LIKE NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY HES SO MELLOW ALL THE TIME ITS BC HES TIRED

- oscarpiastri never too tired tho

- pieasstree WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

- oscpastry AM I IN A DREAM THIS IS NOT THE OSCAR I KNOW???????

- y/nnn its the oscar i know…

- mclarensgirly WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON HERE

- oscpastry im so scared rn but also SO intrigued

- pieasstree its the way theyre probably sitting next to each other and laughing at all of us distraught fans

- y/nnn hes very pleased with himself (👇🏻)

- pieasstree i rlly just dont understand how that man THAT BOY could cause an earthquake in bed as y/n said

- y/nnn trust me he could.

- oscarpiastri trust me i can and i have.

[yanny09]

some things i devote to my deities

Lord zeus: surprisingly, just breathing. especially the sort where your used to the rhythm of your breathing so you inhale deeply with a strange enjoyment on how the air fills your lungs Lady persephone: my freedom of choice, the choice to do something productive or something creative that no one else thought of, especially in bitter memories that some people cant choose for themselves Lady artemis: growing up or leveling up and learning. just generally doing things i didnt know how to do before Lord dionysus: acting as myself without the need to mask around others, it doesnt matter if people think of me as a little crazy we all are in a sense why not let go and have fun? Lord ares: realizing you dislike something, that it makes you sadder or feeling worse than before and finding ways to get rid of it to be happier, sometimes we just go through the motions when we shouldnt Lady psyche: loving someone in a platonic way, loving them so much that you genuinely care for them and dont want them to leave your life. learning that indifference isnt the greatest way to live.

[lizzyaka]

This is definitely an unpopular opinion but I dont think richard being a liar was thaaaat big of a deal like. To me hes the kinda guy who will say "watch out for me ......... im a compulsive liar..... you cant believe anything i say >:)" and lie about what he had for breakfast or whatever but thats the extent of it

And i dont think hes an unreliable narrator because he wants to lie to the reader or hide that he played a larger role in bunnys murder or something but rather the opposite. Like think about it he is telling the story to himself 9 years (iirc) after it happened and i think he actually gave himself too much credit and overplayed his involvement in everything bc he kept saying things like "i was starting to earn my place in their ranks" and "they were as intrigued by me as i was by them" but their actions said otherwise and they never let him in on anything not bc they were wary of him like he said but bc they honestly just did not care that much about him. hes just lying to himself thinking that they did. He isnt even doing it intentionally and certainly not trying to deceive some "audience" bc he isnt really speaking to anyone. He is trapped inside his head living in those memories. He doesnt have a life anymore and like he said thats the only story that matters. I think idk

[lavaablast]

My headcanons pt1 (because i self project on everything)

(my opinion remember this is all silly fun) (also i change my mind contantly so expect me to edit this post constantly)

Kai Smith:

the band aid on his eyebrow is there because he has an eyebrow piercing, and he wants to protect it from getting ripped in battle (also doesnt want a scolding from Wu hehe)

self harms but instead of c///ing he burns because well, obvious reasons (less likely to be found out too)

orthorexic, is obsessed with being in peak physical form

hear me out on this one, i know he eats junkfood (so do orthorexics okay every 3d is diferent) anyway he never does it alone. he eats junkood only with other people, and he's always thinking he'll "make up for it" later. so yes he eats junkfood and yes he is orthorexic (felt like i had to defend my point there dsfsd)

body dysmorphia. knows he looks good but doesnt know what he looks like

"if i gave up on being pretty, i wouldn't know how to be alive" or wtv mitski said

has an extensive skincare routine but if anyone asks him he'll just say he "washes his face with cold water"

anger issues, but like he can explode on the ninja too and then he immediately regrets it but its too late which leaves him with... ->

guilt. ALL THE TIME. its in the back of his head wherever he goes

sun aries, moon sagittarius. i wont back down on this (im a sun aries and moon sag)

claims he "doesnt care" but actually cares so much it hurts (especially about Nya/Lloyd he'd do anything for them you hear me ANYTHING)

has strong morals and ideals but will give them up in a second when needed for survival of himself or the ninja (people often see this as a bad thing but he just wants everyone to live no matter the cost)

ironically, can't handle spicy food and is ALWAYS made fun of it by the others

is reckless and takes stupid risks because he does not care for his body whatsoever (the others think he doesnt know whats at stake, he does, but doesnt care when it's just his own saftey he's risking)

lowkey a perfectionist, but has a different idea of perfect than others so they wouldnt know (aka he needs things/himself/stuff he makes to be perfect, but not perfect objectively, perfect to what he thinks is right)

loves his parents because they tried their best, but still resents them. he hates that he does, but he does

cried all of his tears out ONCE after Nyas "death" and didnt cry at all after that, instead taking so much on his plate that he didnt get a single chance to think about it again (it'd be too painul, this was easier) which lead to....->

his grief being put on hold; and only when Nya already was back did it come out and he had no idea why he was feeling this way so he didnt tell anyone (what would he have said, im in agony for no reason at all?) and it was HELL to do it alone

tied to the above; he couldn't ask for help if his life depended on it (literally)

loves too hard

hates too hard

BPD coded (i dont wanna diagnose him but,,, im justsayinnn *whistles while walking away suspiciously*)

trust issues, but lowk all the ninja have them because like,,, just look at what they have to deal w bro

commitment issues because freedom is the most important thing in the world (after Nya/Lloyd) so settling down or commiting to one thing too long feels like threatining his freedom

actually smart (both emotinally and intelligently) but doesnt use his brains capabilities that much

great memory but also shit memory (remembers a whole row of numbers for no reason but forgets he has to pick up lloyd from the arcade..)

hot. thats all i rest my case

loves himself but hates himself

everything and nothing at the same time, everything about him contradicts himself, but also doesnt, but also does

hes a really simple person, really. but also the most complex one youll ever meet.

hates labels, especially being labeled by others (for the reasons above)

likes men but hates labels so,, no labels (not even the label "unlabeled")

infact he has a deep hatred for the label 'unlabeled' because if something is unlabeled, then why are you LABELING IT

red. everything is red redredred RED he loves red

has sibling bracelets with nya and lloyd (kai has green & dark blue, lloyd red & dark blue, nya red and green)

everything has to be red except the things that are black and orange. i rest my case once again

drinks just a bit too much for it to be considered concerning (started at 14)

will yell and scream at anyone who tries to help him (why do they think he needs help? why are they babying him? why cant the see he is capable?)

wouldnt let nya touch a bottle until she was 18 (be thankful nya its for the best)

paints his nails black or red.

has a strand of hair dyed red all the time

perfect teeth even tho he often forgets to brush them (how? fuck do i know)

would be a hyena i he was an animal

hates smartphones so he has a.. push-button phone?? whatever they're called. and he also only has the nokia brand. wont change it for a thing

"hates technology" but couldnt live without video games

loves to try new things but will have a breakdown if he HAS to try new things

stubborn asf, wont ever do anything he doesnt want to, which...->

makes people think he's selfish, but actually he's quite the opposite

selfless in an unconventional way, i'll make a drawing explaining it

please understand what i mean with that chart because it explains it so well in my brain

thats it for now cfdsfdr

[wszczebrzyszynie]

What insipired you to create your space mining au? (anime literature cinema etc?) Dziękuję!!! (Wanted to ask in polish but im currently only learning it and cant talk rrly well bruh )

hmm. short answer is: trigun, cowboy bebop, gundam: the witch from mercury, naoki urasawas monster, serial experiments lain and memories: magnetic rose. Movie operation hyacinth in a way too. All of that mixed with actual polish 20th century history. space mining in my head is like an obscure 90s anime

long answer is long so its under the cut. no i powodzenia z polskim :)

the world of space mining is something thats been on the back of my mind for a while, as im pretty sure ive mentioned at some point before, which is why its a bit... different than my other fandom related things and more like an oc story? all of my art is self indulgent by default, but for space mining it very much is the "original story" kind of indulgent. so for the "original", non-au space mining that started it all, my main inspirations were cowboy bebop, old polish pop and disco (especially dysk dżokej; its a song i imagined to be playing in a mining mech radio on repeat. not entirely sure why but thats the energy) and, hm, the state of mining in polish peoples republic, i suppose. Because by default all my stories are polish. and all of that carried over as a base for the alternative universe, which is why i even bother to mention it

now space mining as an au was very much trigun inspired. specifically stampede because it was my first experience with trigun ever. like i said, former things carried over, i just added certain minecraft elements (sculk mostly) and hermitcraft/life series elements. A few video game elements (mostly subnautica). Space mining Zed is very obviously inspired by hermit archives Zed, but only from fanarts, because ive never actually read the thing ... hmm. these are all the specific inspirations i can name, i think? the rest goes into the unwell territory, but im pretty sure ive mentioned these before already, too? Space mining is made to feel polish becuase it was created as such in the first place. A lot of my inspiration for the au comes from history, not as much in the, hm, present sense? Despite it being an alternative history kind of story, i try to mention the actual history part as little as possible. Its a lot of explaining that doesnt really matter in the plot itself. What i mean here is, a lot of the historical events between 1944-1991 do happen, even if changed by the whole asteroid/space mining thing, and very much infulence the entire worldbuilding ive created, but arent brough up much, as the majority of the characters are living in a deep space equivalent of post-iron curtain eastern europe, just a bit worse. i hope its obvious why i dont usually mention that part outloud, even if its pretty clear if you know what to look for. luckily for me i dont know what cringe is

[basil-does-arttt]

been thinking about Trish a lot lately, and her connection to Eva

(Big ranty thing with some analysis into her character + my own headcanons about trish below)

She was created to be a carbon copy of Eva, right down to the most unimportant details. So much so that Dante recognized her immediately he didnt even do a double-take, as soon as those glasses were off he saw Eva standing infront of him instead of Trish. (I mean, blonde haired+blue eyed women arent uncommon and its not like Dante has never been into a public space before. Hes probably seen similar women to Eva many times throughout his life, but only Trish was so perfectly like Eva that he couldnt see anything else but his mother in her that first moment they met.)

But thats just physical features. It'd be too easy, too simple for Mundus to just create a look-alike to Eva. And i dont think that alone would've been enough to trick Dante either, Dante isnt an idiot no matter how dumb he acts sometimes. So, how deep into this "recreate Eva" thing did Mundus actually go?

Does Trish experience the same motherly instincts Eva had toward Dante (and Vergil)? Does she feel the need to protect them and cherish them like Eva did? Does she get urges to hold them, kiss and hug them and give them praise as Eva once did in their childhood? If so, does she ignore these feelings, pushing them down untill they're buried so deep within her mind that she's forgotten them entirely, or does she let them be and let them pass on their own, wether she acts on them or not. She's quite sassy with Dante in dmc4 and seems quite aloof in dmc5, so maybe thats how she copes with it instead - acting the total opposite to what Eva ever would.

Going even deeper into that, does Trish have any of Eva's memories? Even just vague snippets or imaginings of Eva's life, considering how well Mundus made Trish then that might not be an impossibility. If so, how much would she have the ability to recall? Could she even recall the fire, maybe? If she can, how would she feel about it. Would she grieve? Feel anger, regret, or nothing at all?

And how would she feel about all of this overall? Being a clone of Eva right down to the gritty details even Dante wouldn't know. Trish is so strongly contrasted to Eva in personality, style and tastes that i'd like to imagine she isnt that much of a fan, put simply. She's her own person, she wants to be her own person and she hates the person she represents. She hates how her existence causes pain to somebody she's wired to care so deeply for - sometimes against her will - and she hates seeing him cry or drink himself to death over that dusty old picture thats been sitting on his desk for decades, knowing that she'll only ever make it worse for him in the end, that his grief extends so far into the core of his being that nothing in existence will ever truly fix it.

She's conflicted.

She's Trish. But is she really? Or is that just who she says she is in an effort to push back and ignore the reality of her existence? Nothing more than a fake, a husk of a person who's time was cut short prematurely then taken advantage of by the very being that killed her in the first place.

She's Trish. Not Eva. She can't be Eva, and she never will be Eva. Nothing will change that. Not a dusty old picture, not an old man's delusions, not some dead demon king who breathed life into her form in the first place.

She's Trish. But who even is Trish? Her entire being has always been about Eva. She doesnt know anything else. So she overcompensates with acting sarcastic and sassy, looking hot and sexy and playing with guns and swords because those are things Eva wouldn't ever do herself. Eva. Again, it all comes back to Eva.

She's Trish. Devil hunter and the most 2000s representation of "hot blonde" one could get. Thats who she is. Or at least, that's who she's trying so desperately to be.

Trish needs more love from the developers, her character is so interesting. I have other analysis' of the other characters too if anybody would be interested in that but for now, ill leave you with my take on the iconic blonde from this wonderful series.<3