#because I am basically trapped on my own fucking home

[jenjensd]

Do you ever just get irrationally Fucking angry at absolute bullshit that doesn’t deserve it?

[beansnpeets]

I have been trying to get Echo comfortable with the crate slowly. I have been trying to prepare her for me being away from the house for work during the day eventually. Unfortunately, it's not going well at all, and I am gonna have to just start crating her when I am gone for more than an hour. I can't let her keep destroying stuff. I know she is scared of being in the crate. But this is not gonna work. I do not have the ability to keep doing this slowly. Not when she does things like this. I was only gone for less than 6 hours. And it's not like she's destroying the whole house. She also doesn't do this every time I leave. It seems arbitrary. One time, she even did it when I was gone for 10 minutes, and literally right before I had left, we had gone for a run. And it's always small, inexpensive things. But the muzzle was the last straw. That's a major inconvenience for me now.

[jazeswhbhaven]

Successful Hunt in Heaven | React | Spoilers | Full Summary

Alright ya'll here I am.

And it's bad news from me.

I...did not particularly enjoy the story whatsoever.

TLDR if you don't wanna read my entire react: Don't waste your seals, just wait the three months

Now, some of ya'll may like it cause you're that big of a Satan stan, but he has a ship with my OC and a fankid and I'm STILL shaking my head at this. Like why ya'll do him like this, PB?

What I will do different for this react is, basically bullet summary as most of this card is what it is and then give ya'll some highlight screenshots that I found mildly amusing.

What goes down from the prologue(part 1):

MC is feeling cocky about being in Gabriel's body and almost fucks it up but saves themselves. Because of that cockiness though, they are literally just brain mush the entire story.

Things to note, that Satan was in restraints, those restraints were tight but not tight enough to where he could still speak and move enough. He was cussin' MC out ya'll like how he should cause he hates Gabriel.

I would want to say that this is a good revenge potential but it wasn't. Essentially MC didn't disclose that it was them who was disguised. The entire time Satan believed it was Gabriel who was touching him, jacking him off, and allowing lower angels to touch his dick. Even if it's just the tip.

MC even went as far as to punch him in the stomach? Punched him good until he was close to coming.

MC wanted to take off the chastity belt, which to me? Nah. You wouldn't even know how to use Gabriel's dick, let's not. Couldn't even properly cum or jack off.

Turns out though that Gabriel is not conscious this entire time. He has no idea what's happening.

Long story short, Satan is getting molested, punched, and traumatized in front of an audience thinking he had feelings for Gabriel and that's why he was aroused and reacting. I don't even feel like the specifics here because it was just that rushed and bland of writing for this. What happens in the end, mind you this is very last part of the story. Satan finally realizes it's MC. The spell breaks, they go home on his motorcycle, and he only went there because there was an angel with MC's hair color.

Ya'll. Satan is not that fucking dumb. Sorry not sorry, but like he can be a goof ball, but he'd never mistake an angel for MC in his entire life time. That wasn't Satan, that was his lost twin Sam or something.

What I expected:

I honestly thought this was going to be similar to Levi's story. Satan got captured due to being weakened by something, perhaps a new trap the angels set up, the restraints being so good he couldn't escape, and he and MC roleplaying in front of the angels and they get so lost in it that's what breaks the spell.

I wanted Satan to be like "MC looks like Gabriel, which pisses me the fuck off but I know it's them so I'm fucking horny as hell and I just want to feel good. This is how it would feel being teased and licked by an angel..."

But nope. Got MC being badly written, pretty much going in on Satan and playing into their own weird kink of pretending to be a high rank angel while punching, and jacking off Satan. There wasn't really any point to it half the time, if Satan hadn't of clocked them in the end, he would have never known it was them at all even though MC was being very sloppy on acting like how Gabriel would torture someone.

Good Parts:

Satan's expressions, and Satan cussing MC out thinking that they are Gabriel.

Satan questioning his attraction, he just can't place why "Gabriel's" touch is arousing him and he can't understand why this angel he hates so much looks so turned on by this moment.

Satan pretty much saying at the end that he's going to go in on MC's ass when they get home. Like I'm pretty sure all holes will be s o r e because MC insulted him, punched him, slapped him, choked him, made him cum forcefully like three times from both dick and horns.

Satan's dick looked pretty in the position he was in and I liked his little red underwear. Click here for the goodies~

The okay?? why?? parts:

MC allowing the angels to touch him. Gabriel for one if he was in character would never allow them to touch his "prey". Like? What and who was this for?

Satan not being able to tell who it was for the majority of the story. He's a King tbh, so he should have seen through the spell.

Satan being a dummy dum and getting himself kidnapped because he thought MC was captured by mistaking an ANGEL that looks nothing like them....

Being robbed of the Satan's potential in the roleplay scenario. Imagine if you will-

Satan knowing that it's MC, and he's trying so hard to make it believable that he doesn't like any of what's going on. At the same time, MC is doing an impersonation of Gabriel so well he can't help but get upset. Why is MC so good at this? Do they actually like Gabriel enough to mimic him? Fuck that. And fuck being kidnapped and in these restraints. He wants MC so badly. To pull off that charade and to get fucked so deep there's nothing but rage flowing from the both of them. And did he really find some attraction to the angel? FUCK THAT. What a stupid thought, so stupid it pisses him off too. Only MC can make him feel a series of rage and jealously swirled so deliciously he wants nothing but that in his veins.

MC's personality being even more unsavory than usual. If ya'll compared to how they act in Levi's torture card you'd swear they were just suddenly taking on some odd sadistic personality that has nothing to do with them nor Gabriel. Er'body was confused.

The audience, the angels, Satan, just...lol

Overall Rating:

4.5/10

Like...idk ya'll the fourth Satan card was just a let down. The other three he has were so much better. Even the adore mode was ass. I wanted to see him moving, cussin' and spitting. The VA put his entire foot in this and it doesn't match Satan's energy in secret club at all. Might as well just play it on SFW mode if you wanna hear his VA moan some fierce in your ear.

Nice homage to Hellraiser, could have used a cooler name imo but OH WELL. Pinhead would be shaking his head rn.

NOW don't get me wrong, some of ya'll may like this. And if you do, please don't @ me or come for me as it's not that serious. I was frankly bored ya'll. IMO It's not worth wasting your seals just wait for it to be available in the regular banner. My expectations for how Satan would react in this moment was downplayed. Even if I felt like shipping the angels with the kings, this just didn't hit.

Live photo of one of Ronove's cats disapproving.

OKAY Screenshot time~

He is legitimately so pissed off ya'll I was like OH

Yeah because you were just goin' off the rails....it's a good thing you at least had the angels hang in the back otherwise they would have clocked you MC.

I just like his face here. Mhm mhm.

Apparently ya'll that is the face of a sinner. Satan is a filthy filthy sweat covered sinner (laugh with me because lmao)

I'm crying. So it's just shrinking, growing, shrinking, growing, just being confused as fuck the poor wang noodle.

Oh Satan....he's so angry the poor bby. This would be hotter if he was irritated by something I truly did. Lol

At the same time, I feel these lines would be good for that roleplay...

I'm crying because Gabriel doesn't talk like this and yet Satan still hasn't caught on yet.

Now Satan, don't discredit virgins...some of them be knowin' a lot more than you think. (right now tho "MC/Gabe" is kissing him through the gag)

again. gimmie dis face. he does the eye roll orgasm so well.

here we go again with that fishy smell thing

Gabriel in his sub conscious rn

He can get away with calling us a bitch. I'm a bad bitch. A baddie. I'll insult you any day Satan just because. He'd call it foreplay.

LMAOOOOOOO

So that ends with the screenshots ya'll. You see how there wasn't really much to show because it's basically just what I said in the summary? But anyways, I did get a peek at a couple things that bumps the rating up for me to a 4.5....(note the changes)

Date Story/Chat Summary:

This time around Satan sustained more damage and the marks left behind are staying longer than usual. Sitri thinks this is a problem, Satan don't give a shit because MC gave them to him.

Satan getting jealous of MC requesting him to get healed because he thinks they learned it from another healing devil is cute.

He's very cuddly, we knew this but it's just nice to see this again.

MC and Satan have a talk about what happened up in Heaven and well it's also nice to see him be serious about his feelings and how MC should feel, etc. Mature Satan is mature.

He can smell when MC is horny btw. Idk this is so hot of him. But I also always had a HC that all devils could smell just about anything. When your cycle is coming, ovulation, other bodily things.

He likes the fact that MC was confident enough to insult him so boldly even though he pointed out they were in Gabriel's body.

He can't stand it that Paimon sews his decapitated teddy bear heads, the cotton is supposed to leak. At the same time he likes that Paimon adds sparkly beads for the eyes so it looks like they "glow"

His hand are so pretty with those sharp nails.

He has so many photos of his motorcycle he has two phones. He loves his bike that much to where he refers to it as his lover.

He doodles when he's bored at meetings.

That does it folks!!!! As per usual, if you've made it to the end thank you thank you to my dear moot/friends who help fuel my delusions and ramblings. Without ya'll my blog would just be...whelp a bunch of Astra in your face lmao (honestly tho she should be she's great)

Stay lovely, love up on your bois, -your lovely admin💖💕

[xephyras]

' A Second Reflection '

MDNI. 18+ ONLY.

a/n: i fear i possibly cooked with this? idk, i wrote it in like 2 hours. first cillian murphy centric smut kinda goes hard.

btw: that new M. Night Shyalaman movie ‘Trap’ sucks. It's basically slutty Josh Hartnett being a dad with mommy issues and everyone not doing their job.

Second, yes, this is fucking diabolical and will in fact be better because I am amazing at writing darker shit.

Third, yes, this is because I watched Red Eye again on my Roku at 1 a.m in my duplex. (Sorry to my upstairs neighbor if you heard my tv.)

warnings: DUB/NONCON. dead dove do NOT eat, 18+, evil!dom!stalker! jackson rippner and sub! reader. jackson rippner is an actual villain, not bastardized, rough sex, unprotected p in v, breeding kink from rippner, dumbification (once again my weakness), heavy degregation, spit kink, biting kink, just overall really mouthy rippner, major power play kink, size difference if you squint, bruising, hickeys, break in, choking, hair pulling, slapping, mirror kink, blood kink, also, jackson rippner is like lowk pathetic bcz, yk... men whining.

word count: 4.18k

NOT proofread, I apologize in advance for any errors or mistakes!

"Keep your eyes on me, slut. I want to see your face while I fuck you.” He barked out, straining on your hair again as he pulled you up.

Darkness filled the room you sat in comfortably, your dust-covered mirror shimmering softly in the cinnamon candles you had lit a few minutes before. Duvet covered pulled up to your chest, and legs shuffling under with a comfort that always seemed to await you, you felt entirely serene.

The day was as usual boring, mostly spent inside working from home, taking a few calls, and mellowing around in your pajamas. These days seem to muddle together into one big mix, but it was nothing you fret over. It was rather comforting compared to the busy streets which bustled from the early hours of dawn to the peak of the night.

Only thing you would say that pinched wildly at your relaxation like a child on St. Patrick's day seeing a person not wearing green, was the overwhelming feeling of a set of prying eyes on you. However, this had become realtively common since you played that damned mirror in front of your bed.

You commonly had liked to rearrange your room; especially on the late nights where your shitty sleep schedule caught up, giving bursts of energy late at night. Hence, you assumed it was your paranoia playing a hopscotch game with you.

Nevertheless, you found the serenity of your window open, blowing a soft wind in, rather comforting. Leaving the blinds open often to let the orange sunset light in, you simply would stare until it went dark at times. Being on the first floor of your home, too, passerby's were actually much more fun to look at than you realized. ‘People-watching’, as some would call it.

However, in this night specifically, the warm breeze flushing onto your shoulders felt rather omniscient of some warning it communicated. You didn't get it, but something irked you. To deprive yourself of your own time, you simply read a book, traveling your mind into the world of your favorite reads.

Conversely, your brain pried at you. Thinking it was simply a lack of sleep, especially because it was now around a quarter after midnight, you set the hard book down. It was a hot night, you might as well have left your window open. After all, it was a safer neighborhood.

After blowing out the residue of your melted candles, you covered the rest of your body with the duvet. Serenity at last, you thought. Gently shutting your eyes, you simply wandered off mentally.

Despite being a rather heavy sleeper, you woke within a few hours to a sense of hefty paranoia. Your eyes couldn't even adjust at first to the darkness and the heaviness of them. Wiping your tiredness away, you peered into your mirror questionably.

The window you leave open, which usually shines in the dim moonlight, was almost blocked? Almost like a shadow. Slowly turning your head to your window to assume it was just your brain, you suddenly saw.

With your heart and sleepiness practically leaping out of your throat in a stiffled yell, shoved the covers off you, preparing to defend your every move. It wasn't just a fucking dark shadow, an entire, short, but rather wide looking silhouette of a man stood quietly, almost mannequin like, against your window sill.

“What the— What the fuck. What the fuck?!” You suddenly screeched out as loud as your throat could allow, the burning of your vocal chords was anything but sensational.

A deep chuckled emerged from the silhouette, shoulders bouncing somehow in a threatening manner. He held something in a pocket of a sweater, of course.

“You need to calm down before I slit your goddamn throat right here.” He suddenly sneered.

You were absolutely frozen, eyes wide with tears you didn't feel even forming. Hands bundled into fists in front of you futily, shaking like you were about to have a seizure.

He stood entirely still once more, practically observing you like some doctor. You decided haphazardly to stand onto your mattress, trying to get a better advantage of higher ground, more area to attack if he did decide to run at you.

“You— need to get the fuck out! Now!” You screamed at the end, trying to not simply break down sobbing. With purpose, your eyes scanned across your room for some weapon.

“I said calm down!” He suddenly grunted out, stomping with one long stride towards you. His palm latched itself to your ankle, dragging you from your sudden position, your head hitting the wall as you fell onto your spine.

A burning familiar to that of a minor concussion filled your senses, a stiffled sob leaving your throat as your vision filled with a dark white, if even possible. Ringing filled your ears as you felt yourself get dragged practically to lay on your stomach, facing your mirror.

He suddenly muttered almost to no one but himself, “You know, you're fucking pathetic. Can't even hold a good fight. All you do is sit—”

A grunt left his throat as he forced his sweater off, tosing it to the side. “And do absolutely nothing. You're a lazy bitch, you should be grateful I’m doing this.” He whispered into your ear, his stubble tickling along your jaw.

Desperately despite your mingling pain in your brain which seemed to radiate to your neck, you flipped yourself to your side, hands raising to try and fling themselves at him. You simply found his hand, calloused and rough, gripping a lump full of your hair, tangling it into his hand. He shoved your head into the mattress, unable to move.

“Stop fighting me, it's useless, whore.” He cursed out to you, a hint of lingering amusement in his poisoned words.

He certainly was talkative. “God, finally able to touch you after so long. You know, I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to do this.” He chuckled out, his voice was unforgivingly soothing while his hands gripped your head like a vice, and forcing the other to grope, pinch, and slap at your back and ass.

Wanting to have his fun, of course. “You need to do more. You're too… lazy. Maybe I’ll fuck a good baby into you, make you mine.” Sneering his voice next to your jaw, licking suddenly. The mixed smell of his aftershave and mahogany-esque cologne was all you tried to focus on.

Your head was utterly pounding, a slight ring in your eardrums forcuing yourself to feel even more of a head ache. Along with his snagging hand forcing you to the bed, and other groping you grotesquely, all you felt was utter pain and despair.

With as much energy as you could have put, you screamed out. Surely someone in this blasted neighborhood would hear. Screaming your pleas of help, Jackson tugged on your hair tight, snapping your neck back and cutting those yells off with a simple yelp into the air like an injured dog.

He dragged his hand from your lower back to your neck, shaking and wet from your tears which stained where he previously pushed you down. With force, he grabbed your neck tight, cutting your blood, but not air off.

“For someone so fucking lazy, only thing you can do right now is put your vocals to use? I will stab you right here and make it look like a suicide. Do yourself a favor and stop gambling with your life.” He enunciated, using his lips to drag themselves along the surrounding area of your ear.

A choke left your throat as the blood rushed back to your brain, the dazy and numb feeling leaving your pained head. You simply felt yourself get flipped to your back, finally being able to see some of the man's face.

He was unfortunately one of the most handsome men you had seen. A sharp jaw, stubbled beard he kept recently, piercing blue eyes. God, why did he have to be doing this?

“Stop it! I'll give you money! Please just stop!” You rasped out with desperate sobs, feeling yourself tears reach to your collarbones. Your nose was running heavy, and lips soaked with your own drool . You didn't care. You were focused enough the fact this man was in your home, hurting you.

His demeanor seemed suddenly much more gentle, but falsely. Like a lion acting gentle as it slowly prides itself up to its prey. His knees trapped around one of yours, holding you tight. With one of his hands, he held your chin now.

Leaning into your wet and puffy face as he smirked, he finally tantalizingly reached his lips to your jaw. “The more you plead, the harder I’m gonna get, and the longer I’ll use you.”

Finally leaning back, he raised his hand to your cheek and slammed it down, hard. A sound only described as a clap released itself along your bedroom walls, swinging your head to the side. Pain radiated harshly though your cheek, hot and burning.

He chuckled at this and leaned down his lips to your heaving neck, using his hands to stabilize himself on either side of your head. Wanting to have a bit of fun with his food so to speak, he licked. Starting at your collarbone, leading itself up to your jugular with silent breaths.

When he did reach, he bit down harshly, hard enough to draw blood, but not hard enough to severely hurt you. A loud shriek left your throat like some horror movie character, your hands flinging up to pull his hair away and desperately claw.

A pained groan left his throat, but he smiled. Finally getting a better view at his face, teeth slightly pink from your neck and his silky hair feeling like knives in your hands suddenly, you realized couldn't even fight him.

Pausing his actions, he developed a nasty sneer of his face, suddenly spitting a glob at your cheek, grabbing your wrists tight enough you knew it'd bruise. Crashing them down into the bed beside you, he dipped his head down once more to your bleeding neck.

Teeth sank into your skin like marshmallows in an out, ranks of pain radiating from your tailbone all the way to the top of your head like you were in a house fire. All you could hear was the ringing of your blasted ears, his heavy breathing and whines, and the shuffle of the duvet.

“God, you taste so fucking good.” He hummed out, licking up the residues and admiring your skin like some sort of art project he made, one he'd surely put on the fridge.

“You know…” he finally leaned back, resting on his knees which trapped you into his touch.

“I've been watching you for a while—before tonight.” Jackson hummed contently, his raspy whisper leaking itself into your ears like honey.

“Especially because… you don't know when—” he spoke, getting up to close the open window. You knew you should've taken it as a chance, but you were frozen. He adjusted your whimsy curtains above it.

“—when to close your goddamn window. It's been such a joy to watch you, you know that? Every morning, you laying in your bed practically refusing to get up… all the way to laying yourself down, leaving it open to feel the breeze.” He chuckled finally at his last words, almost as if to nonverbally stupidly you.

Your head was pounding, the previously persistent ringing now dying down to a simple static noise, deep in your brain. Choked sobs left your throat, your chest heaving with every breath. Barely even being able to see due to the cloudiness of your wet tears, you blinked frantically.

“My boyfriend will be home so—” you attempted to sneer out, getting cut off with a vocal scoff.

“You need to learn how to stop lying, baby.”

Almost as if tantalizing your stupid word choice, he grazed his fingertips up and down your torso, riding your tank top up slightly with every stroke. His breath—you noticed—was heavier, his chest rising and falling every movement.

With a solid hiss, he forced your tank top off you, to which of course to his not-so-very-big-suprise, revealing your bare chest. After watching you for a while, he noticed you would most of the time wear either nothing, or a tank top, maybe paired with some underwear, usually black or navy. Rare occasions, maroon.

A deep chuckle poured out his throat as his rough hands went to your breasts, cupping and kneading them like dough. It hurt, clearly because he had no intent of making you even feel anything. He just craved you like a wolf craved a little sheep. Cries of pain left your throat, trying to claw your hands at his to no avail.

Your hips and legs wouldn't budge as he sat right on them, your head hurt too much to move, your arms like noodles from the sheer anxiety and shock you felt. To this, he laughed in a false-lit pity. Pinching at your nipples, he made sure to leave you as sensitive as possible, with intent to make you cry even more.

Exult filled his icy eyes as his hands dragged themselves down your belly, massaging your sides and hips like fresh bread. It tickled, somehow—the way he moved his hands now around the waistband of your underwear.

They were a deep navy blue, however looked black in this dark room. Shakily exhaling, Jackson dipped his fingers across the line of your clothing, before quickly pulling them clean off, the fabric resting on your shaking legs.

Another shrill howl left your raspy throat, trying to wriggle your hips out of his body weight. He bellowed back quietly in mock, anger mustering his tone. Another hard, cranial slap landed on the side of your head.

“Shut the fuck up.” He berated now; amusement present.

“I’ve always dreamed of this… even nights I didn't sleep.” he cooed out, coaxing one of your hands to his crotch.

You sneered out a messy cry as he pressed your hand to his tented pants, feeling his cock practically throbbing. His breath left his lips shakily as he forced your hand to feel him. Conversely, he kept his hand tight on your hips, not covered finally.

Finally smacking your hand back, he shimmied off the pants he had on after unbuttoning them. He didn't care to pull them all the way down, why not make it a quickie—you know?

“You look like such a whore right now…” he cooed out almost an octave higher, those threatening eyes gazing daggers at you.

An idea suddenly formed in his head as he looked up to himself in the mirror across from your bed. A toothy smile like a sharks spread across his jaw. Piercing his eyes back down, he grunted, flipping you into your stomach once more.

“I want you to see your stupid fucking face while I use you.” he blazed out, sharply snapping your head up by a chunk of your hair.

Your face was a mess. Puffy red eyes, red nose and cheeeks. Entirely wet with tears and snot. Not to mention, you looked absolutely devastated, which was expected, but not this bad.

A choked wail left your throat as you heard his pants shimmy down slightly, and felt his boxers, and clothed cock resting against your pussy. In response, he cooed under his breath. His hand pressed harshly into your lower back.

“It's a shame I haven't done this sooner, you cry like a fucking animal… it's so beautiful.” He mewled out to your face in the mirror rather than looking down at you.

Tearing down his boxers finally, you could hear his cock spring free and tap lightly on his stomach. He was of course hard, more than he had ever felt in a while. hence the fact he'd get off almost nightly thinking of you. Fucking into his fist with throaty groans, imagining it was your cunt instead.

A hearty sigh left his chest as he stroked himself a few times, the precum on his tip shining in the dim moonlight which simmered through the window. He made sure he was slow with his movements, not wanting to end this too fast.

“Keep your eyes on me, slut. I want to see your face while I fuck you.” He barked out once more, straining on your hair again as he pulled you up.

You let out a few whiny sobs, knowing you couldn't get out of this situation. Your scalp burnt. Gazing your eyes up to his face, you saw nothing but lust, and focus. The worst part was you knew he could get away with it.

“Please no— no, no, no, no!” You babbled out with purpose.l

"No, no, no, don't do this!” he mocked an octave higher, looking down to his leaking cock.

“Just sit still, you'll be fine, bitch.” He scoffed.

Lining himself up to you, he spat down on his cock, stroking himself a few more times to give less friction while he fucked you. Emitting a slight grunt, he finally leaned himself into your pussy, feeling your walls and savoring every inch he dove in.

A loud wail left your mouth, you felt like you were practically being split into 2 as he finally bottomed out. His cock was big enough to press hard against your cervix, the feeling was uncomfortable. Desperately, you tried to wriggle your hips off; nevertheless, he held your hips tight.

“I said be still, dumbass.” He hissed out, landing a loud spank on your ass, surely leaving it red.

“God, you feel so—” he enunciated his words, thrusting sharply into you. “So… fucking tight.” He finished his words, chuckling in the air at the end.

Placing his other hand on your hip and holding you steady, he started a rhythmic pace, slow and drawn out. Despite the slowness, he practically pounded into you as hard as he could, savoring your small cries with each stroke.

Craning his neck back to the ceiling, he gently shut his eyes and let his jaw fall open, babbling on in pleasure. A small curse left his lips, his eyes dipping back down to your ass which shook slightly with each thrust.

“Fuck… oh my God, you feel so good. You feel—” he enunciated his words more, sharply picking up the pace, the feeling of the tip of his cock hitting the bump of your cervix was intoxicating to him.

The pain was slightly settling down as he kept thrusting into you, your body naturally making yourself wet to lessen the friction. Almost shamefully, you couldn't lie and say it didn't feel good.

If anything, it felt phenomenal. After that pain settled, the feeling of his cock driving into you so deep—deeper than you'd ever felt—was shamefully pleasureful. Despite head still throbbing with his hand tight in it, and the fact you're still a sobbing mess, you couldn't help but whine out in this twisted pleasure.

You were ashamed, but it was better than feeling any sort of pain. To the sounds of your little cries turning into whimpers of pleasure, he laughed heartily, spanking your ass once more just to watch it shake.

“See? Now that you're being obedient, I don't have to hurt you anymore, bitch.” He leaned down, tantalizingly whispering.

As he kept his head next to yours, you couldn't help hear his heavy breath and the slight mewls leaving his throat, deep and pathetic, almost. From your hips, he ran his hands down to the small of your back, pressing your arch further down .

Darting out his tongue, he licked your jaw slightly, reminicsing his gaze over your bruised bite marks that finally stopped bleeding. Landing his tongue on your jugular once more, he planted rather soft kisses. Much better than biting, anyways.

He continued to kiss around the back of your neck and the sides, the stubble tickling you. The mix of this ticklish feeling and his hips pistoning into yours finally started to postpone your crying, leaving you in a whiny state.

“God, you really are a whore, huh? Getting fucking used and you're over here whining like a little puppy.” He slammed his hand down once more, making you yell loudly.

Grazing your eyes to the mirror, the sight you saw was definitely one you'll remember, both for the horrifying reason and one of the fact this man looked utterly pathetic for you. Higher sounding breaths, head dipped to the back of your neck with kisses, and hands kneading our ass.

His eyes pierced up to the mirror, making eye contact with your still wet and puffy eyes. Smirking softly at you, he turned his head from the mirror to the side of your face. Linking his lips with your earlobe, he started speaking.

“See how slutty you look right now? You love this…” he spoke in such a tantalizing way it made you shudder.

You could barely even keep your head up, resting it on the plush mattress as you kept letting you your small moans. Each thrust was pure and plain pleasure. Shockwaves sent up your spine and fogging up your brain.

It could've been the mix of anxiety and your head hitting the wall earlier, but you could barely do anything but moan out in bliss mixed with agony. He leaned back up, flicking his hair back with a jerk of his neck.

The idea popped in his head to reach his hand down finally under your hips, keeping one on your ass to hold you steady. Delicately, he rubbed slow, intricate circles with his index on your clit. Back arching further down with pleasure, you let out an almost pornographic moan.

“Oh, you like that…” he cooed rhetorically, cocking his head to the side as he observed your reaction almost clinically.

His hands moved almost masterfully on your clit, the nerves sending an overwhelming pleasure over your entire body. Your legs shook diabolically, toes curling. Trying your best to stifle how good it felt, you bit down harshly on your lip, feeling your lower stomach arise with a familiar feeling of pleasure.

A sudden, quiet moan left the bottom of his throat, an octave higher than any of the words he'd spoken to you. He even sounded hot, and it tormented you. You could tell he was close to cumming by the way his hips stuttered slightly, how vocal he was getting.

“Fuck… I didn't expect you to feel so— so good." he whined out, dipping down his head, holding your ass tight as he probably could've. It hurt, but not as bad as being bitten or slapped.

He quickly leaned his head back to the ceiling, mouth agape with small whines leaving his throat. With his hand still on your clit, you could actually feel yourself getting closer. The way he looked in the dark in that mirror was somewhat driving you crazy. Yet, you dared not look at yourself, feeling a shame that you think will never be cured.

“Oh— God… fuck, fuck, fuck,” he babbled out incoherently, suddenly burying his hips into you as deep as he could've gotten, dipping his torso down to bite harshly on your shoulder.

Somehow that was the tipping point for you, feeling that bite and his warm spurts of cum burst into you, foreign and good. Feeling your brain go numb and your mouth agape, your legs trembled heavily.

With that, a loud and drawn out whine left your puffy lips, your hands gripping the duvet sheets as tight as they could. He stood still besides the feeling of his cock still twitching inside of you.

His chest heaved heavily, pressing against your back tight as he popped his hips into you a few more times, just to fuck his cum into you. Leaning back up with a shaky groan, he examined the damage he did to you.

Bruised ass and hips, bites all over your shoulder and neck, slight blood, your crying face in the mirror, and despite all that: he made you cum. He was actually rather proud of himself for that, even though he swore he would just kill you after.

Biting his lip and pulling his cock out of you, stuffing himself inside his boxers once more, he began to speak.

“You're pathetic.” He hissed.

Buttoning his pants back up, he tore himself off that bed, leaving you alone in it. Picking up that sweater from off the floor and the knife he had stuffed in it, he examined you once more. He darted his eyes from the shiny knife to your body, shaky and limp, yet still crying.

“Can't even move now, huh? I dumbed you down real good…” he stepped over you, dragging the knife up and down your spine, watching the goosebumps it gave you.

“Too bad I can't kill you. Your cunt feels to good.” He whispered to your ear.

With that, he stuffed the knife back in his pocket and swung your bedroom door open. He would of course rather just leave through the front door. Turning back to your body, he chuckled.

“I’d prefer you leave your front door unlocked rather than your window.”

another a/n: i deeply apologize for how nasty this is! enjoy and take dark smut crumbs, my fellow jackson rippner lovers.

[gamercookies]

Need help on what..? 

Genre: Smut, enemies to lovers 

Word Count: 3.1k 

Warnings: “fuckboy”!hyunie, virgin!y/n, a bit of fighting (word/physical), unprotected sex, dirty talk, spanking,fingering, grinding, use of “daddy”.  Note: this is the most I spent writing lol, I will rarely write fanfics it’s been 3 months Might have a few misspellings. But I feel this is the best I’ve made in my opinion :3 Enjoy!! 

Your enemy Hyunjin, whom you heard he’s a fuckboy, have been enemies for as long as you could remember. One day, you decided to swallowed your pride and approached him for help with a homework assignment, What could possibly go wrong if he comes over? 

“H-hey.. Hyunjin?” You say with a shy smile.

“Ugh.. it’s you.. what do you want?!” He says in an irritated tone, but not loud to scare you.

“I was wondering.. if you can help me with a homework assignment. I’m a bit confused on the math, and I assume you must know an idea?” 

Hyunjin scoffs and smirks a bit, “is there a catch? You’re always mad when I tease you and shit, why ask me when you can ask anyone else in this school?” 

“Yeah but most of them don’t even know the basics of it.. but I have to ask you.. since you know it. Ugh.. whatever! but I need help so..please?” 

“Please? …” He stays silent thinking for a moment. “Fine, whatever. Where should we meet up I guess..”

“I was wondering at my place later today, around 6PM?” You ask with a smile. 

"Your place?" Hyunjin raises an eyebrow, clearly skeptical about the arrangement. "Why not here or somewhere public? It seems like you're trying to trap me alone with you."

“Am not! I’m literally asking for homework help nothing else!” You say as you push him gently.

He stumbles back a bit, "But fine, whatever. I'll come to your place at 6 PM. Don't think this means I'm being “mr.nice guy” on you just because I’m helping you with the homework." His tone is playful yet assertive, but yet seducing. 

“See you later then bitch.!” He yells from across the hall as he leaves, yet teasing you once more. 

“H-hey! don’t call me that you asshole!” You yell back as you walk to the exit to start heading home. 

….

At home, you arrive getting welcomed by your cat (you own one) and you pet its fur. “Aww you miss me? don’t worry I’m home. I’ll go and grab some food for you to eat.” You go to the kitchen cabinet and grab the cat food. Dumping some onto the cat bowl you slowly start thinking about hyunjin.. You tell yourself, “why am I thinking about that asshole, he’s a pain in the ass at most..?” 

As you put the cat food away, you bend down to give the bowl, and placing it in front of your cat. You then head to your bedroom, all cozy, organized, your laptop well placed. Of course after a long day, and now that your cat is eating, you go take a shower. After 10 minutes later you walk out of the shower the cold breeze hitting your body. As you dry your hair, you head over to your desk, where your diary is and write a short note about today as always. 

“February 17. Today was good, chatting with my friends as always.. But why did I have to ask hyunjin for homework help..”

As you go on writing about your day, you don’t realize you’re talking about Hyunjin’s body features. After 5 minutes you stop and read it once more, “what? Why am I writing about him.. fuck.. god why do I feel like I want him so badly.” 

You get interrupted by the doorbell, you turn next to your diary and see the time. “6:02PM.” Hyunjin is here.. You didn’t even hear or realize the doorbell has been ringing 4 times. You quickly shut the diary running to the door, completely forgetting to hide it. 

“Hey! I’m here, hopefully you ain’t doing makeup for no reason!” He yells as he continuously rings it. 

You open the door, panting a bit from running, forgetting that you invited him for homework help not for another reason. “O-oh sorry I just wrote something real quick and completely forgot the time.” As you scratch the back of the neck nervously a bit. “Will you let me in? Or imma just be outside?”

“R-right sorry.. do you need any snacks or anything?” Hyunjin hears you explain if he’s hungry as he walks in, “No thanks, I didn’t come to kidnap some food, it was just homework help you said.” 

“Yea.. right. Let’s head to my bedroom of course, it’s mainly where I do my homework.” As you close the front door, you led him the way to your bedroom.

“Tsk.. took you long enough to answer I assumed you weren’t home or anything. The fuck you were doing?” He says in an irritating tone, looking at around the room. “Goodness, it's surprisingly clean in here, I thought you never bothered tidying up.” You scoff and roll your eyes a bit, “Are you seriously mad at me for it being tidy?”

"Mad? Please." Hyunjin scoffs dismissively. "Don't flatter yourself, y/n. I couldn't care less how long you take."

He saunters further into the room, glancing around with a critical eye. "Just hurry up and show me this homework already. Let's get this over with so I can leave."

You shift uncomfortably under his intense stare as you pull a chair for him to sit down next to you, “Well this question over here.. can you show me how to answer it step-by-step?” 

As he kept explaining it, you can’t help but secretly stare at him.. these feelings you feel, they aren’t hate, but more of love. But after an hour of homework help, you finish at last. Hyunjin on the other hand leans back and scoffs. 

“An hour on all that? Really? That's all the time you needed for one simple math problem? 

“Sorry it took long..it’s just that-” you say quietly. 

He interrupts you, “Pathetic, I could do it in 5 minutes.” 

“Hey, I said I was sorry!" You snap back defensively with irritation. As y/n stands up from her seat, crossing her arms over her chest, looking at him directly. "And maybe if you actually explained things properly instead of just showing off, it wouldn't take so long!" 

Hyunjin's expression darkens at your outburst, his jaw clenched tight. For a moment, it seems like he might lunge at you, but then his features relax into a mocking grin.

"Oh, so now you're an expert on teaching methods, huh?" he drawls sarcastically. "Maybe I should start taking notes from Miss 'I-can't-even-do-math-right' over here."

He pushes his chair back and rises to his feet, towering over you. "Shut up, Hyunjin! Maybe it’s best you go home, out..!" You shout, getting angry at his words. 

Hyunjin snorts derisively at your outburst, he suddenly pushes you back giving you no time to react, “H-hey what are you doing?!” You quickly say as you stumble back and your diary in which you forgot to hide it falls from the desk. “Oh, look who's getting feisty. Maybe I should teach you a lesson in manners too, since you seem to have forgotten yours." His hand shoots out, grabbing your chin roughly and forcing you to meet his piercing gaze. "You think you can just dismiss me after I helped you? Think again, y/n." 

But then, he looks at the diary bending down to pick it up from the floor, with a smirk. “Oh what’s this? Hmm.. Let's see what juicy details you've been hiding in here, shall we?”, as he is flipping through its pages with a smug grin. 

You stand up trying to retrieve the diary back with fear that he will reveal your new desire for him. “H-Hey give that back! It isn’t for you to read! Come on..! It’s my secret!” 

Hyunjin chuckles darkly, holding the diary out of your reach. "Secrets are meant to be shared, aren't they, y/n? And I think I deserve to know what's really going on in that pretty little head of yours." He opens the diary to a random page, raises an eyebrow as he looks over the words, and starts to read out loud from the page. "..'he looks hot, I just wish Hyunjin would touch me...' Oh, how scandalous!"

He chuckles darkly, a cruel smirk twisting his lips. "Looks like someone has a crush on their bully. How pathetic." 

You blush bright red, looking away in embarrassment "S-Shut up! It's not like that! I-I just wrote some random thoughts, okay?! You're making it sound worse than it is!" As you try to grab the diary back again. Hyunjin easily sidesteps your attempt to grab the diary, holding it high above his head,and laughs mockingly. "Random thoughts? I don't think so, y/n. This sounds suspiciously like a confession to me." He continues reading, his voice dripping with mockery. "'.. I wonder what it would be like if he kissed me...'" Hyunjin pauses, glancing at you with a wicked grin. "Face it, you want me. Admit it, you dirty little thing." As he tosses the diary aside, watching it land on the floor again with a soft thud. 

Your cheeks feel like they're on fire as you attempt to reject those claims, completely embarrassed and vulnerable as Hyunjin mocks your innermost feelings, "I...I may find you attractive sometimes, okay?! But that doesn't mean I like you or anything! You're still a jerk!"

Hyunjin moves in a bit closer, getting into your personal space while grinning at you. "A jerk, huh? At least I’m upfront about how I feel about you, unlike those who hide their feelings in diaries." He gently runs a finger along your warm cheekbone, and even though you're mad, his touch makes you shiver. "You can pretend all you want, but deep down, you want me just as much as I want you, y/n."

You suddenly feel like you’re dripping down there. “Fuck.. I-”

Hyunjin notices the change in you and smirks, his eyes flicking down, "What's wrong, y/n? Getting excited by my touch?" He moves in even closer, his breath warm against your ear as he murmurs, "Or perhaps it's the idea of me kissing you, caressing you, that has you so stirred up."

Your face turns even redder as you try to step back, but your legs feel weak, causing you to stumble backwards onto the bed, sitting down awkwardly. "Oof! .. stop it! Don't say things like that! That’s not what-“ Hyunjin watches you stumble back onto the bed with amusement. He straddles your hips, pinning you beneath him as he leans in close, his lips brushing against your ear once more, “Don’t you want those fantasies of yours to come true~” He straddles you a bit, you can feel the bulge in his pants. “N-no.. I- fuck.. Wait, Are you hard?!.. damn it..” You cover your face in embarrassment.

Hyunjin grins wickedly at your reaction, his hardness pressing insistently against you. "Of course I am," he admits, his voice low and husky. "The sight of you, all flustered and blushing, it's incredibly arousing." He begins to grind against you slowly, relishing in your discomfort and arousal. "You can't deny the attraction between us anymore, y/n. We both want each other, whether we admit it or not." 

You moan softly, feeling yourself get wetter as he grinds against you. "Hyunjin, please...stop teasing me..." Your hands move to his waist, gripping tightly as you try to resist the pleasure building inside you. “About earlier.. Maybe I really should teach you a lesson in manners too, maybe a couple of spanks, don’t you think?’”, he repeats the sentence he said before you guys argued. “Wait what?! You wouldn’t dare do that…plus, that’s a childish thing.”

Hyunjin’s hand slides down to grip your thigh possessively, squeezing firmly. "Oh, I would dare, y/n. In fact, I intend to do much more than just spank you."

He leans in closer, his lips grazing your ear as he whispers huskily, "By the time I'm done with you, you'll be begging me for more. And trust me, I plan to take my time exploring every inch of your delectable body until you're nothing but a quivering mess beneath me."  “Hyunjin, stop talking like that...it's making me...ahh-" Your protest is cut off as he abruptly slaps your thigh, the sudden impact making you yelp. "Ow! What was that for?!" Hyunjin smirks at your pained expression, clearly amused by your reaction. "That was for your impudent mouth," he explains, his tone stern yet playful. "You shouldn't speak to me with such disrespect, especially when you're the one who's been fantasizing about me."

He flips you over that you’re now your back is facing him, especially your ass, without hesitation he gives another firm slap. "Now, are you going to apologize properly, or do I need to continue teaching you a lesson?"

“Ah~!”You moan, he spanks you the second time. “Fuck!.. fine you got me.. I’m sorry!”, He spanks you again, “ah~! Hyunjin!” which is making you dripping wet, feeling good from it. “Use ‘daddy’ instead of my name. Got it?” He takes off your shirt and then pulls down your pants and underwear, leaving you in just your bra. Hyunjin chuckles darkly at your submission, pleased by the way you're squirming under his touch. "Good girl, From now on, you address me as Daddy when we're alone together like this."

He trails his fingers along your hole, feeling the heat emanating from your core. "Mmm, seems like my little y/n is quite eager for more attention, aren’t you?” Without waiting for a response, he pushes two fingers inside you, groaning at the tightness that grips them. "All that spanking got you turned on? Fuck.. wet already, You really are a naughty slut for Daddy's cock, aren't you?"

You moan loudly, bucking your hips against his fingers as he thrusts them in and out of you. "Ah! D-Daddy...fuck...yes...please..." Your words are a jumbled mix of pleasure and desperation as you surrender to the sensations coursing through your body. As he curls his fingers inside you, rubbing against that sensitive spot within, your walls clench around him reflexively.

"More...Daddy...I need more..." You whine. His free hand snakes around to palm your breast, tweaking the nipple through the fabric of your bra. "And look how hard these tits get when Daddy plays with you.” Hyunjin then unclasps your bra, letting your breasts hang free. “You love it, don't you? Such a greedy little cunt, begging for more~” Your nipples harden further under his touch, and you arch into him, desperate for more stimulation. "Yes, Daddy...I love it...please...more..." You pant heavily, your hips rocking against his hand as he continues to finger you relentlessly. “Please fuck me.. I- I need your cock in me.. just like my fantasies in my diary..!” You whine again.

“Patience girl.. you don’t wanna upset me and make me not give it to you.. you don’t want that, hmm?” As you turn over and sit up to face him with a pleading look.

“N-no not at all, I’ll be patient daddy! I promise!”

“Hmm.. get on your knees and prove to me that you need this cock in you.” With trembling hands, you quickly comply, dropping to your knees in front of him. Your eyes lock onto his throbbing erection, and you lick your lips in anticipation. "Go ahead, baby," Hyunjin coaxes, stroking himself slowly. "Show Daddy how much you crave his cock."

Emboldened by his encouragement, you lean forward and wrap your lips around the head of his dick, sucking gently. He lets out a low groan, his fingers tangling in your hair as you begin to bob your head, taking him deeper into your mouth with each pass. "Mmm, that's it...good girl," Hyunjin praises, his hips starting to rock subtly, fucking your mouth. "You're doing so well, I think it's time Daddy gave you what you've been begging for..." 

“Yes please daddy! Rail me!” You say in excitement. 

"Get on the bed and present yourself to me, like the good little slut you are." He says as he walks over to your presented body. “Perfect. Now, hold still while I prepare myself," he instructs, reaching for the lube on the nightstand. “I see you had lube.. interesting..” He gets interrupted by your whine, “Please hurry, I need it inside..! Please!” Hyunjin grabs your hips roughly, positioning himself behind you. He presses the tip of his cock against your slick entrance, teasing you with shallow thrusts. "Beg for it, slut." he growls, holding back from fully entering you. "Tell me how badly you need Daddy's cock stretching out this tight little cunt."  

You plead desperately, wiggling your hips back against him in an attempt to impale yourself on his length. "I'm all yours, Daddy! Use me however you want!" Satisfied with your submissive display, Hyunjin grips your hips tighter and plunges deep inside you with one swift, powerful thrust. "Ungh, fuck...so tight," he groans, burying himself to the hilt. He sets a brutal pace, pounding into you with relentless force. The bed creaks beneath you as he fucks you hard and fast, his heavy balls slapping against your hole with each rough stroke. "Take it, you dirty little whore," he snarls, his breath hot against your ear. "This is what you wanted, isn't it? To be used and filled by Daddy's big cock?" 

"Ahh yes! Oh god, yes! Fill me up, Daddy! Use me!" You scream in ecstasy as he pounds into you mercilessly, your body shaking with each brutal thrust. Your inner walls clench tightly around his thick shaft, milking him greedily. "Harder! Faster! Break me with that huge cock!" Hyunjin's thrusts become even more savage, driven by your shameless begging. "You want it harder? Then take it, you insatiable slut!" He roars, slamming into you harshly. The room fills with the lewd sounds of flesh meeting flesh, punctuated by your high-pitched moans and his guttural grunts.

Suddenly, he reaches around to pinch and twist your nipples harshly, sending jolts of pain-tinged pleasure through your body. "Cum for me, now!" he commands, his voice a feral growl. "Show Daddy how much you love being fucked raw!" “Hyunie.. cum with me, please! Fuck! fuck..! Im gonna..” With a few more erratic thrusts, he buries himself to the root and explodes, flooding your insides with his hot seed. "Take it all, you filthy cumslut!" he snarls, pumping load after load deep into your spasming hole. 

Hyunjin collapses beside you, both of you panting heavily as you come down from the intense high of your shared climax. He pulls you close, spooning you from behind and nuzzling into your neck, “Wow.. you were amazing...” 

“Yeah.. uhm.. are you a fuckboy? Is this just one time and then that’s it?” He laughs, “Me? A fuckboy? when did you hear that joke!” You look at him confused, “W-What..? You’re not..? Wow, I guess I must’ve not believe everything I hear.” 

He leans to kiss you passionately, making you moan between it, after a moment he lets go panting a bit. “Was it really for homework or for me to use you?” “Well.. both. I don’t mind having you come over and help me~” 

“Oh trust me, I think I’ll come over many times, you’re now my girlfriend, y/n, and you better continue writing those fantasies.” 

[cxrdycxps]

Caught In A Trap • Joel Miller

☢️ sexual assault (past but there’s flashbacks and discussions) • victim shaming • description of injuries • blood • panic attacks • swearing • ☢️

Main Masterlist • Joel Miller Masterlist

This is part 2 of Cat and Mouse. You should really read that first unless you enjoy not understanding the narrative. Unfortunately this fic has a mind of its own and is gonna have a final third part. I know, I know. I hate myself too. It should be out by tomorrow night, yes I said that last time. No, I’m not lying this time. Thank you to everyone who has read, reblogged and commented so far. I love you all.

“It’s stupid. Isn’t it?” You asked Lou, pacing her living room. She had listened to you explain the whole date to her and now she was weighing up her opinion of what happened and you couldn’t take the silence. “I’m stupid. He’s fucked half the town. Why am I surprised he played me?”

“Like you played him?” Lou asked and you stopped your pacing to stare at her. She didn’t hide from your stare like most people tended to, meeting you dead on. You clenched your jaw before taking a seat and nodding. “Look, I love you. When two people have been through what we’ve been through, there are repercussions. We were items of use. We weren’t people. We didn’t get to have names or belongings or even autonomy. That way of living is going to leave a scar.”

“I don’t want them to have me any more. I don’t want to hide and just do as I’m told. I don’t want to have sex with a man just because he wanted it.” You told her with a sniffle, wiping your face. “But they all do it. They all do something and then they make it my fault, like I’m the crazy bitch.”

“Hear me out?” Lou asked and you nodded. “You keep picking men that make you crazy. Like Nolan right? He used you for sex. He wasn’t open about it but once you figured it out, you let it continue to happen. Abdul, had a reputation for having more than one woman on the go. Aidan was a misogynist from the word go. Luca wanted a housewife, not a partner. Every man you’ve tried to date has been really fucking shit.”

“They have to be. They need to be awful. There aren’t any good men.” Lou held her hand out to you and you took it, letting her draw you into a hug. You hadn’t realized that it was you that was sobbing. “There was so many and none of them tried to help. If there was good men they would’ve helped.”

“Those men weren’t banded together because they were good. They banded together because they were like minded individuals.” Lou told you, rocking you both from side to side. “You knew Joel Miller was a slut. You’ve heard more stories about him having sex than there are single, age appropriate women in the compound.”

“He was nice. He was nice and I slept with him and we, he made me laugh. No one ever bothered to do that. He offered to go home. He would’ve left if I didn’t want it.” You whispered and Lou shushed you again. “For the first time since Nolan I had sex on the first date. I wanted it this time.”

“While I’m sure Joel Miller is a great guy, that’s the bare minimum. I know you’ve never received it but respecting your right to withdraw consent is basic human decency.” Lou told you and you wondered what it meant that having your basic human rights respected felt like winning the jackpot.

“He didn’t mean it though. He got what he wanted by filling my head with false promises. Then he sent his kid, who wasn’t even suppose to know about us, to bail him out. He had expected me to give in.” You cried against Lou’s neck and she shushed you gently. “It felt good. For the first time. When I told him I had an ache the next morning he didn’t insist I just push past it. He was gentle with me.”

“Those are some more of those basic human rights. Absolutely no one should be trying to push you to agree to sex that will hurt.” Lou sighed and you blinked at her.

“It’s bad that I don’t know that, right?” You asked and she only shook her head, kissing your forehead.

“You were in that room for a long time. There was so much you missed, so much to learn. I’ll help you.”

///

Joel stayed to the rear of the group out on patrol. He was fixing to give Tommy a peace of his mind but heading out to kill a bunch of runners wasn’t the time. Tommy and Joel never argued on a patrol because they needed to have each other’s back.

So Joel didn’t give in to the temptation, keeping his distance from his brother who clearly didn’t see anything wrong in his actions. That just made Joel even more mad.

Ellie was on his shit list too because she knew better than to listen to Tommy. She knew better than to come looking for him on a night he said he wasn’t available to her. Boundaries were important between him and Ellie and he was pissed that she ignored him.

“I know that face.” Joel inhaled deeply because right now Nolan was the last guy he needed to see. He had been pissed enough to find him on the patrol but so far he had stayed well away. “Black Widow sunk her fangs into you, huh?”

“Do I look like I’m in the mood?” Joel asked, barely tilting his head in Nolan’s direction. Tommy looked back at Joel when he heard him speak and winced but turned and kept his face forward.

That pissed Joel off even more. Tommy had probably had something to do with Nolan being on the patrol. Joel clenched his jaw.

“She ended things?” Nolan asked and Joel stared resolutely ahead. “You said something bad, didn’t you? It was a joke or a throw away comment but little miss took it to heart.”

“Nolan, fuck off.” Joel warned, eyes facing forward. He couldn’t help but be relieved when Abdul heard the tension in his voice and dropped back. Abdul was a good guy and it might deter Nolan.

“Always ends it once she gets what she wants. Bet every conversation left you wrong footed. Had to feel like you’d make it up to her?” Joel inhaled deeply and stared at Tommy. He was willing to bet Ellie’s life there was no pack of runners.

“You can go and fuck yourself too.” Joel warned. He took measured deep breaths and remembered that he was liable to get in trouble if he hurt any of them unprompted. It wasn’t the same lawless land in Jackson. He couldn’t just punch people that pissed him off.

“Man, we’re trying to help you here. We’ve all been through it. This is what she does as some sick fucking revenge.” Abdul told Joel and he swallowed roughly. “She had some bad times outside the wall, got a little roughed up once or twice before Jackson.”

“When she got here she decided it was our fault. Let’s it look like our decision, you know? To pursue her. Happened to be in our line of view at the bar, we chose to talk to her. We didn’t choose anything.” Nolan piped up and Joel furrowed his brow. “Let’s you feel like you’re playing her then leaves you high and dry. Like you need to go looking for her.”

“She’ll bump into you a couple of times. Each time she’ll cause an argument or make you out to be an asshole. The next time she sees you she’s already forgotten about it.” Abdul spoke again and Joel felt his chest tighten. “Tells you all about her three date rule.”

“She doesn’t do one night stands.” Nolan scoffed and Joel looked over at him sharply. “She never does it, makes her feel dirty. Until she’s crawling into your lap like a damn bitch in heat.”

“That’s enough now.” Joel warned Nolan when his tone changed from conversational to direct anger.

“Safe, you made her feel safe.” Abdul finished and Joel realized that without a shadow of a doubt, he’s been played.

///

“Joel isn’t a dick.” You jumped, the rocking chair jolting with your movements. You raised your sunglasses off your eyes and found Ellie Williams standing at the top of your porch step. Unlike the times you had pretended with Joel, you genuinely hadn’t heard her coming and it sort of unnerved you. “It seems like he is but he ain’t.”

“Ellie, I’m sure he ain’t.” You sighed and set your sunglasses back down over your eyes and tilted your head back to continue absorbing the last of the Summer sun. “Don’t you worry about what I think about your daddy.”

“Okay firstly, that’s weird. Don’t say that. Joel isn’t my dad.” You lifted your head up again to look at her. “He and I went through a lot together but I only met him like two years ago.”

“Okay. My point still stands. I’m sure he’s a great guy. Don’t worry about me. I was just in a bad mood the other day, ‘s all.” You assured her. You didn’t want her to think bad of Joel, father or not.

“Cause I made you think that. I shoulda known better than listen to Tommy. Joel was having an off-duty night. We’ve got boundaries. Boundaries are important.” You sighed and sat forward in your chair. You knew that your relaxing had come to an end.

“Honey, I was mad at him before you knocked on that door. People like me, well, we got issues. I’m tryna work on them but I don’t always do that good.” You told her and she nodded, listening earnestly. “I had some rough things happen and now I play games with people. I can’t help it. I’m trying to find someone that can put up with me, pass my tests.”

“Joel can put up with anyone. He crossed the country with only me for company. I’m annoying as fuck.” Ellie told you with a grin and you huffed a laugh. “You should give him another chance.”

“I don’t think it’s in the card but you’re real sweet for tryin’ to fix things between us. It isn’t his fault really. I shoulda known better.” You explained and she frowned, crossing her arms.

“Is this cause Tommy says you dump men to punish them?” You clenched your jaw and wondered if you were going to have to have a word with Tommy. Tell him to mind his own business before you minded it for him. “I was taken by a man who wanted to hurt me before. I killed him.”

“Not all of us are that fortunate, kid. But if I ever see him again I’ll have a go. See if it fixes me.” You assured her. You ignored her comment about Tommy and leaned back in your seat again.

“I think that you’re making a mistake. Punishing Joel. He’s the only person I know who doesn’t deserve punishment.” Ellie spoke quietly.

“Me keeping my distance is the opposite of a punishment. I can assure you that.”

///

The key got caught in the lock. The hinges of the door squeaked. Every floorboard creaked and groaned. You were able to map the steps taken right up to the edge of the bed. The rattle of a belt buckle. Your arms ached from being tied above your head. “You just been waiting for me, huh?”

You gasped, springing up in the bed with a hand over your racing heart. The room was black with darkness and you fumbled for your lamp, knocking it over in your haste. You ignored the shatter of glass in an effort to get to the main light switch.

You fell against the wall, your panic urging you on. When your fingers closed around the switch and the light came on you could finally breathe.

You were in Jackson. You weren’t there anymore. You were safe and you were home. When your breathing was under control you looked down, unsurprised to find footprints of blood. You had walked on the broken glass.

You let yourself slump against the wall, slipping down to sit and take the weight off your damaged foot. There was no pain to feel yet, your nervous system still on high alert. You sighed heavily, head tilted back. As the adrenaline wore off and the pain kicked in there was no point in fighting the tears.

There you sat against the wall, sniffling and blinking while attempting to get all the glass out of your foot. Swiping at your eyes angrily when you couldn’t see and breathing deep through the sobs trying to fight out of you.

It was exhausting, feeling this way. There were tricks you had learned to make it better. When you had arrived to Jackson every night was spent like this, sobbing in your room cause you were scared of the dark.

Then you had met Nolan. And sure he was a little forceful in his come on but you found the nights easier with him by your side. You had felt safe from the nightmares that plagued your mind. Putting up with sex you didn’t really want was a small price to pay. He never took it forcefully, just spent his time convincing you and wasn’t that easier than what had already happened?

It wasn’t until you found out he had been enjoying your deep sleep a little too much that you had to call it all off with him.

You hadn’t ever told anyone that. Nolan was a valued member of Jackson. He was big and strong. He worked the patrol routes and fixed up houses. You just helped around wherever you were needed.

Nolan hammered home two harsh truths. The first was that there were no good men. The second was that you unfortunately couldn’t keep away from them.

So you played them at their own game. You got a warm body to sleep next to and they got their dicks wet. You made them work for it. You didn’t hand yourself over in a way that made you feel that skin crawling filthy, the way Nolan and all the men before him made you feel.

There was the introduction of your three date rule. You teased them. Made them want you with a desperation that made sure that they’d tell you all their dirty little secrets. The men of Jackson didn’t want to kick you out because you had dumped them. They wanted you out because you held their worst secrets close to your heart.

They feared the monster of their own creation. You wanted them to fear you. Every cheating, lying scumbag among them.

Joel had been different. He had risen to every single challenge you had offered. He had gone the extra mile for you. Sure he had said stupid things but never out of cruelty. Never to hurt you.

Ellie had told you that Tommy had orchestrated the bail out so maybe he hadn’t expected you to do whatever he wanted. Maybe he had been as much a victim of outside sources as you were.

You had wanted him in a way you had never actually wanted a man before. You hadn’t broken your three date rule in years, never since Nolan. But you couldn’t help yourself, crawling into his lap in a way that made you feel like the games were over.

You wanted them to be over. You wanted to be wrapped in Joel’s embrace, wanted him to fend off the nightmares and hold you when they broke through anyway.

You wanted him on top of you, gasping against your neck, pushing into you slowly. He had been so gentle with you, taking his time with you. He had been bashful about his size, almost apologizing until you had been begging him to fuck your harder and deeper.

You sniffled again and probed the skin of your foot, checking for any pain that could be caused by glass still being inside. When you found none you pushed yourself up, limping out of your room and hitting each light switch on the way, bathing your house in the golden glow.

You found your first aid kit in the bathroom and patched your foot up. The tears had stopped for the most part and you took advantage of that to clean up the broken lamp and the blood.

You’d have to visit the clinic tomorrow and get it checked out but for now the bandages would do. When you looked at the clock you found it to be a little after four. Acceptable enough to get up and start your day.

You wouldn’t be getting any more sleep with those images in your mind and the phantom ache in your arms.

///

“Joel it isn’t that big of a deal.” Ellie sighed, trying to shake the grip he had on her shoulder. He didn’t answer and she rolled her eyes at him, wiping the blood out of her face. “Shimmer is gentle usually, she just spooked.”

“She ain’t broken yet. I told you not to ride her.” Joel huffed, pushing her towards the clinic. She had slapped a piece of gauze over her injury and called it a day. He had half a thought to kill her when he had peeled back the gauze and found the deep wound. “Could’ve died.”

“You’re being dramatic.” Ellie sighed, shaking him at last when they pushed through the door. She let him talk to the receptionist, looking around. She blinked when she spotted you dozing in a chair, bandaged foot elevated on a table. Ellie looked over to Joel who hadn’t spotted you yet and grinned, moving to drop into the seat next to you. “Hey.”

“Fucking- Jesus Ellie. What the fuck?” Your eyes flew open and you almost bolted out of the chair. It was then Ellie took in how exhausted you looked. “Gonna put a fucking bell on you.”

“You just reuse all your lines like that?” Joel asked with a scoff and your eyes widened, turning to look at him and back to Ellie. “Got nothing original, huh?”

“What are you talking about?” Ellie asked him, wondering why Joel had his ‘I shoot people for fun’ look on his face.

You were saved from the conversation by your name being called. You pushed yourself up, ignoring Joel’s comments and barely took one step, limping heavily, before Ellie slotted herself in under your arm.

“I’m fine.” You assured her and she shook her head, resolute in helping you.

“She said she’s fine, Ellie.” Joel grunted. Ellie ignored him and supported you walking toward the treatment room.

“Thank you.” You lifted your arm from around her shoulders and supported yourself on the door handle.

She was in the treatment room by the time you had gotten your stitches. You were hoping not to see them again but just as you were receiving a pack of gauze and bandages Ellie stepped out, prodding her own stitches against Joel’s advice.

“What’s the verdict?” Ellie asked, slotting in beside you at the counter. You had been given a pair of crutches and you propped them under your arms.

“Four stitches, no pain meds and the threat of brute force if I’m caught working or walking on my foot.” You told her with a sigh, ignoring Joel’s glare. You felt sort of off balance having him this mad at you. It wasn’t anything you weren’t used to but you weren’t blackmailing Joel. You had gotten mad at him for a proper reason.

“I got four stitches too!” Ellie cheered and bumped her shoulder into your arms. “And I’m not allowed nap today. Just in case it’s a concussion. Joel probably won’t let me on a horse ever again.”

“Sucks to be you, I guess. I’m gonna nap all day.” You told her with a shrug, smiling when she laughed at you and shook her head.

“Yeah yeah, you’re a dick. You gonna be okay to get around? I can call by and help?” You frowned at Ellie, eyebrows furrowing at the effort she was suddenly putting in. “What?”

“Thanks for the offer, Honey. But it’s just a little cut. I’ll be fine.” You ruffled her hair before grabbing the gauze and bandages off the counter. “Stay away from them horses, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” She sighed and you rolled your eyes before shuffling towards the door, your crutches clicking loudly in the silence that followed. Just before the doors closed behind you you heard it.

“She ain’t your friend. Stop acting like it. She’ll just let you down too.”

If there was one thing you wouldn’t let happen ever again, it was letting a man be right about you.

///

You spent a lot of time out on the rocking chair on your porch over the next few days. The summer was winding down and you were enjoying the last of the warmth before Jackson turned into the frost bitten, snow covered town it was in Winter.

Your foot hurt something awful but it showed no sign of infection which you were grateful for. Without pain meds the best you could do was stay off it.

Reading on the porch seemed to be the best way for it. And so you spent all of your time out there, watching the comings and goings of Jackson. The days were peaceful, allowing you to nap in the chair to avoid the fact you weren’t sleeping at night.

It wasn’t until the creak of your garden gate sounded on the fourth day that your peace was interrupted. Ellie had a large plaster slapped haphazardly on her forehead and a larger grin on her face.

“Shouldn’t you be in school?” You asked her with an eyebrow raised. She only shrugged, tossing her book bag down at your front door and taking a seat on the bench on your porch.

“Told them I had a headache. They sent me home. Except Joel is out all day on a patrol and I’m bored.” Ellie explained and you nodded, rocking yourself with your good foot.

“And you can’t call over here while Joel is around cause he told you not to.” You offered. She shrugged instead of denying it and you had to laugh a little.

“Like I said. Joel isn’t my dad. I don’t have to do what he says.” Ellie explained and you rolled your eyes at the pure teenage attitude that poured off her. “He’s afraid I’ll get attached to you. I once got attached to a book full of puns so he’s probably right.”

“Well I mean, you’re only talking to me cause I spent a night with your father figure and you feel bad for interrupting.” You teased and Ellie laughed.

“Nah. I heard about you way before Joel. I take note of women that men hate. It’s important to be feared by men.” Ellie told you honestly and you laughed, shaking your head. “I read a book about feminism. It was in my room in Jackson when we moved in. It’s important to have good female role models.”

“I’m not a good female role model. I’m the opposite of a role model. I sleep with men to get their secrets. That’s not exactly inspiring.” You reminded her and she shrugged.

“Well I ain’t gonna go copying you if that’s what you’re afraid of. Not like I’ll be sleeping around with the men of Jackson.” Ellie scoffed and you tilted your head at her.

“Is that right?” You asked with raised eyebrows. “I’m sure the women of Jackson will have as many secrets.”

Ellie flushed a deep red and sat up on the bench, her jaw hanging open. “I never said that.”

“Didn’t have to. I’m very observant.” You told her, letting your head fall back again. “I ain’t gonna tell anyone.”

“Ellie!” You winced and Ellie groaned loudly. It seemed Joel had gotten home early. You continued to rock your chair and took a deep breath. He was just as in the wrong as you were. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“More importantly, what are you doing here?” Ellie asked, laying back down on the bench. “It’s way out of your way.”

“Looking for you. I get back early and hear you’re suffering headaches and can’t find you anywhere.” Joel snapped, pushing in your garden gate. “I told you I didn’t want you hanging around here.”

“She ain’t doing no harm.” You sighed, you hated to get involved but she was shrinking in on herself, away from his anger. “Every kid played hooky once.”

“I didn’t ask you. Last thing she needs is to be hanging around you. She’s a kid, no games to be played with her.” Joel snapped and you huffed a laugh.

“That’s right. I’m the only one who plays games.” You told him, pushing yourself to your feet. You winced, reaching for a crutch. “You know what you did. All the games I played was to prevent you doing that.”

“Oh yeah, the same games you played with damn near every man in this town, huh? I heard it all, Nolan and Abdul had a lot to say.” Joel scoffed, grabbing Ellie’s backpack and waving her forward. She looked between you both before shuffling towards him. “We all had it tough outside Jackson. You don’t gotta punish everyone for it.”

“Is that right? They told you all about me, huh? That’s a silly game for them to have played.” You leaned against your porch railing and grinned at Joel, wide. “Get off my property, Joel.”

[mirroredmemoriez]

John Kramer and The Denlon's

Cracks everything in my body. It's time to yap. I keep going on in many posts about the fact John is just as flawed as those he tries to ''better'', so I want to go over one of my main comparisons in a tad more depth than I have before. John Kramer and Jeff Denlon honestly are very similar when it comes to their backstory and need for revenge due to grief. Even though John always states that he tests people so they become grateful for being alive- It's very obvious in some cases, he's doing it for his own type of gratification too. For example, Cecil Adams who caused Jill Tuck to miscarry and then Cecilia Pederson who scammed John. He didn't put these people in traps just because of his philosophy, but because they were also very ''close to home'' for him.

The loss of a child is very integral to both John and Jeff's character. Both of these men crave justice.... However, the way they want it and how they achieve it isn't exactly the most healthy thing. It leads both of them to neglect their partners, Jill and Lynn. (Just took a break to eat leftover spaghetti I am legit lost in the sauce- I don't plan out these little rants I do, so I just go where rambling takes me.) When it comes to the major differences between them, Jeff is more rage fuelled, at least in how he carries himself. His anger manifests more verbally and physically than John- Which is his downfall, alongside him not listening or acting when needed. This is a bit of a reach, but another thought nonetheless and nothing I say needs to be something I'm 100% on anyway. Danica Scott, the only other witness to Dylan's death didn't cause Jeff's son's demise, however her lack of action and fleeing the scene made her someone Jeff would want to take revenge upon anyway.

Amanda, although she had more involvement with Gideon's death, seeing as she was the one to convince Cecil to rob the clinic, didn't take physical action either. However, outside of her just being a drug addict- It is debated whether or not John always knew about her role in Jill Tuck's miscarriage, another reason for her to be tested.

We've also got basic comparisons such as the fact Jill and Lynn are both in the medical field and having mentioned Lynn again? Her demeanour is more like John than anybody else I have brought up in this post I'd say- I can't really word well why I think that, but it's there anyway. (Another thing to add is how in Saw 3, John in his delirious state starts getting confused and thinking Lynn is Jill.)

Might as well slip some others thoughts in here too whilst I'm fucking rambling this much- I don't have too many complex thoughts on Jeff Denlon I guess, I basically seem him as an example within the Saw universe about a person who cannot let go enough that it results in his trauma and vengeance taking over his life and ending it too. He's not a evil or terrible man, just very flawed. He had some of the physically easiest traps in the franchise to complete, but because he never made an effort to heal and instead remained stagnant within his grief... He takes too long to take action and morally flip flops all over the place when it comes to what decision he'll make- It's that or he doesn't assess the long term consequences of things such as never forgiving. I personally don't think he ever has to forgive someone like Timothy Young- However, I do believe he let's it impact his life and those around him too much. Corbett didn't deserve the neglect she faced and she herself is a child grieving her sibling. Grief and forgiveness are very hard topics to navigate, but I honestly as a viewer felt the most bad for Corbett more so than Jeff or even Lynn. Coming back to Lynn, I believe she ''learnt'' the most or at least came to terms with things faster within her trap than Jeff. She didn't have time to dwell or not be fast paced with her choices, because her life was connected to John's. She was doing her best not only to stay alive, but to get back to her family even if it was dysfunctional. (Me when I come back to this in my drafts weeks later, time to attempt to find the wave length I was on whilst doing this before.) It's an interesting though to picture different people in other traps. For example, if Lynn was going through Jeff's test. Would she have reacted faster than him and made clear cut decisions? Could she forgive? Jeff is no medical professional and his rage wouldn't let him care for John to the best of his ability so we know he'd fumble that, which is why I'm more so focused on Lynn in his test. Lynn's grief is more ''subtle'' compared to Jeff's and as an audience it's hard to pinpoint what her thoughts and opinions of those involved with her sons death would've been. She turned to antidepressants and her fractured marriage led her to having an affair, not to mention the child neglect. But when it comes down to it, we don't see as much as a drive for revenge and justice within Lynn as we do Jeff. This would mainly come down to screen time, setting and general context but it's an interesting thought of how she'd handle someone like Danica or Timothy if they were right in front of her.

This is why I say she learnt the most from her test compared to Jeff in his? After everything she went through with Amanda constantly up her ass and power drilling through a guys skull- All Lynn wanted was to reunite with her family. Like, the only time we see Lynn exert full physical violence is in a deleted scene where she attacks Amanda.... And even then that is because she wants the key for her collar more so than a drive to murder the other woman. On all accounts, she actually won that scuffle as well.

But then for example Jeff when he finally encounters John? He just can't help himself! Lynn literally is on the floor bleeding out, reaching for him not to leave and this man just can't NOT go and fulfil his need for vengeance. He'd literally just acted upon it before too by shooting Amanda, though that is more understandable giving the context of the fact she shot Lynn..... I think overall this is why so many people dislike Jeff but they just can't word it? Like he's been dubbed ''slow ass motherfucking Jeff''- But it's not really the speed of execution, it's either the lack of long term critical thinking and or the fact he's indecisive? Jeff doesn't have the weight of a contraption around his neck and or his life truly on the line like his wife.... However, somehow Lynn is still managing her test better than him with a freaky little lesbian on her ass and doing backhouse brain surgery on some random old dude with a fucking power drill. I'll also bring up the fact that like John and Jeff, Mark Hoffman has a pretty similar drive and motive to the both of these men. Just like how Jeff saw his sons death, Mark saw the aftermath of his sisters murder for example. All three of them feel justified in their actions against those who have wronged them and etc....

And as I always bring up in character studies like these, the perceptions from the audience are so interesting- Especially when you start comparing characters. It will come as no surprise when I say, I am a pretty active Tumblr user... Through this? The interactions with media and popularity of characters from Saw on this platform are decently clear. First I'll get it out the way that screen time plays a big role in making characters fan favourites. Although, Adam is a subversion to this as he's only in one movie (alive) and likely the most popular Saw character- Anyway! Using John, Jeff and Mark as examples here still... As previously stated, these three men can be considered quite alike in some aspects! But our perceptions of them are quite different due to how they're presented and what we know about them. John is an older sickly man, his life being cut short by the fact he has terminal cancer. His wife miscarries and later on then becomes ex-wife and then also somewhere down the line he gets scammed by a fake cancer treatment....All in all? Dude's kinda got fucked over. But what I haven't mentioned yet in this brief is the fact that whilst most of this is going on, peepaw is designing elaborate death traps and testing people in them slash indoctrinating some into his fuckass ideology! He as a character get's quite a neutral response and or a 50/50 split? He's Jigsaw, the face of the franchise.... There is a decent amount to discuss in regards to him. However, when it all comes down to it it I wouldn’t say he’s favoured as much as other characters.

Moving to Jeff, he witnessed his own son get killed in a hit and run and the grief and injustice of that basically made him spiral into neglecting himself but also his family. He cannot move forward from the loss of Dylan and this is why during his test he is so slow to act- I think one thing to mention here too, is this is something John likely accounted for. Jeff’s test is designed for him and the challenge isn’t that of " OH CUT YOU ARM” it’s for him to overcome his grief and to choose whether to forgive or let those involved with Dylan’s passing die. It’s easy for us as viewers behind the screen to think that he could’ve done almost everything faster. But we’re not Jeff. It’s shown time and time again mentally he just cannot move on and the only reason he is making progress though the test is due to its nature, average therapy? Jeff just wouldn’t go because he refuses to confront HIMSELF in regards to his own grief and would rather wallow in fantasies of revenge.

Mark Hoffman? Obviously the case I’ll bring up with him is that of his sister's murder. Angelina is his only close relative, with no other mention of Mark’s family in the franchise really. So, when she is killed in a case of domestic violence and he also sees her dead body? Yeah, that’s certainly the kind of thing to fuck someone up mentally. Which is why Mark then developed a drinking problem to cope and started to display more erratic behaviour such as shooting a man three times who’d actually surrendered beforehand…. By the time Seth Baxter his sister's killer is released from prison via a technicality- Mark has no quarrels with taking his revenge via abducting him and placing him in a Jigsaw like trap. However, as we all know, this trap is by no means escapable and is only being used by Mark as a scapegoat to get away with murdering Seth. This act then kickstarts his life as an apprentice for John when he himself is abducted.

(I legit forgot this was in my drafts- Months later. I’ll post this now even if it’s not really complete…)

[rise-my-angel]

"# have many thoughts on why they adapted Rhaenys the way they did and all of them strip what makes her so cool and i hate it"

I'd actually love to read your thoughts, I have some of my own but they boil down to turning her into a bizarre mouth piece for the writers (which is what most of the female characters in HOTD feel like) and not allowing her to potentially outshine Rhaenyra which is why all the women on TB lack personalities, it's easier to write for one or 2 women than it is to write for a whole cast.

Rhaenys in the book and Rhaenys in the show are basically two completely different characters.

Princess Rhaenys in the show is not my friend. Princess Rhaenys in the book is cool as all hell and a true Baratheon under it all.

Under a read more, I wrote you a fucking essay I am so sorry.

There isn't as much about Princess Rhaenys in the book due to the narrative style of Fire and Blood, but what we do know paints a drastically different picture. Rhaenys has the purple eyes, and she flies Meleys, but thats all about her that is distinctly Targaryean.

She was born to King Jaeherys firstborn son and heir Aemon, and her mother was Jocelyn Baratheon. So she has the long, straight black hair of a Baratheon with a streaks of white throughout from her age, she was a great beauty but never described in ways that other Targaryean women are, more in a way that she is a great beauty in terms of a Baratheon.

She was a woman who was very clever, very quick witted, but she was also known to be fearless, she had a red hot fiery temper and much like her mothers house words, she was a fierce woman with a fury within her.

As Aemons only child, she was seen by many to be his heir when he became King. Queen Alysanne even calling her their "Queen to be". Alysanne and Jaehaerys often did trips around Westeros called progresses, which was personally going to a Lords castle or keep, spending time with them, holding court, solving local issues and using that time to bond with his highest subjects, which was part of why he held such a long reign of peace, he used his dragons pruposley to make travel easy and personally visited the homes of his people.

Rhaenys would join him on this after she claimed Meleys, going on some progresses around Westeros and she became a very popular royal figure amongst the nobility, notably in the Dustins, Manderlys, Blackwoods, Celtigars, and the Starks.

Now, yes Rhaenys was up for a claim at the great council, but she was actually rejected early on because she was a woman. She then persuaded these lords on her side to push for her sons claim, Laenor, and it is Laenor who lost in the final vote to Viserys, not Rhaenys. Rhaenys and Laena were both rejected and so she pushed for her son without a second thought, she was fine not being Queen, she was the eldest sons firstborn child and she put her firstborn son up to be King.

After word came that Lucerys was dead, it was she and Corlys who were actually in command of the Black Council at the start of the war because Rhaenyra was too in greif to rule.

Then her greatest moment, Rhaenyra was the one who ordered Rhaenys to Rooks Rest and without any reinforcement. Rhaenys of course, listened to her Queen, but the fight is different.

In the books, Criston Cole has set a trap. Lure a dragonrider out, and when they arrived, they would be ambushed by Aemond on Vhagar and Aegon on Sunfyre knwoing the two against one dragon would be enough to defeat them.

"Princess Rhaenys made no attempt to flee. With a glad cry and a crack of her whip, she turned Meleys towards the foe."

Rhaenys realizes she has rode into a trap.

She knows if it were Sunfyre or Vhagar alone she might stand a chance, but against both of them she knew she was doomed. She had time though, she could try and turn to leave. But, Rhaenys is in her blood, a Baratheon. Baratheons don't run from such dangerous odds, even when facing certain doom, she never let herself be controlled by that fear. She did what Baratheons do, and she turned around and fought with fury. With my favourite line about her describing her perfectly:

So, what are the main differences here from the show that are so wrong? Lets talk the two big ones:

Rhaenys being given the Targaryean look instead of the Baratheon look is an attempt to give the feeling that she is a true Targaryean and thats why she is such a fearsome dragonrider. But, in the books, she looks Baratheon, and her personality is textbook Baratheon. By stripping her of the Baratheon look, she show is propping her up more as a Targaryean which feeds into this show's strange relationship with Targaryeans being divine and special. By taking away the fact that Rhaenys was the first and only Baratheon born dragonrider, it downplays the fact that Rhaenys did not fit into the typical Targaryean dragonrider persona which most were at the time. It makes her look like a Targaryean alone, and it severs that relationship in Fire and Blood of the less of a Targaryean someone appears does not equate to being less capable of the feats they claim only they are special enough to do. Rhaenys isn't the books biggest example of that, but she is the big start of it.

By making the final vote at the Great Council come down to Rhaenys vs Viserys, it paints the man vs woman image. Rhaenys and Laena were rejected very fast, and it was Laenor, her son, who Viserys won against. Not Rhaenys. The entire show though, follows this idea. That Rhaenys lost because she was a woman and that dictates so much going forward. It dicates everything she pushes for, women in power, not being in service to men, but Rhaenys was never like that. Rhaenys did not fight against the world she grew up in, she navigated it despite of it. She did not promote this woman in power idea just because she was rejected. She was Jaeherys grandaughter, and he was a man who did not treat the women in his life as equals. She would be used to being passed over for men, her grandfather did it with almost every woman in his family to the point it drove his wife away. Rhaenys in the books didn't stand for anything. She didn't do what she did because she wanted to stand with a woman over a man. It wasn't about that. In the books, her and Corlys essentially pick the lesser of two evils. In their minds, standing with the Greens means her family and grandaughters will be at the mercy of Rhaenyra and Daemon, but standing with the blacks, she is at the mercy of Alient and Aegon. One of those two is a more dangerous foe to her family, and she sides with the family that gives her granddaughters a safer chance. It had nothing to do with anything and the show doesnt even establiush why she chooses Rhaenyra, she just does and then starts promoting the idea that Rhaenyra is the woman who wants peace not the men startingg war and it turns her into a mess who is onyl here to lecture the audience that the men are bad.

Really, my biggest gripe is, Rhaenys as a Baratheon dragonrider has a lot of potential. Due to the structure of Fire and Blood we don't spend a lot of time with her, but we do know that the relationship between the Baratheons and the Targaryeans is extremely tenuous and sore. The Baratheons have long since resented the Targaryeans, and Princess Rhaenys literally was supposed to be the bridge between the families.

Queen Alysanne married Aemon to Jocelyn Baratheon so that the Baratheons can have an heir one day on the Iron Throne and hopefully stop the fighting and resentment the Stormlords had towards them. But by rejecting her and her family at the Great Council, it reopens that old wound. And the Baratheons become disillusioned more and more when Viserys makes no effort to mend that bridge.

Rhaenys is a Targaryean raised dragonrider, who was distinctly Baratheon looking with the feirce personality of a Baratheon, and that contends a lot with what the Targaryeans all stood for especially at the time and it could make for a lot of great scenes revolving around what is wrong with the Targaryean legacy. The more like a Baratheon Rhaenys was, the more the Targaryeans stood out as people who were doomed to destory each other.

Rhaenys was born to be the child that mended the bridge between the Targaryeans treating the Baratheons like lesser then, when they had once been their strongest ally. By making Rhaenys just another Targaryean, it erases that conversation of why the Targaryens were bound to lose. That even when they married the Baratheons into the family, they still screwed it up because they couldn't get over their biases of looking down on the Stags.

Rhaenys had potentiol to showcase a time in history that foreshadows whats to come. For decades before the dance the Baratheons resented the Targaryeans, and after the dance, that resentment will continue to grow until it explodes during Roberts Rebellion.

By erasing her as a Baratheon, it erases the potential of showing why the Targaryeans were doomed to lose. They always treated their Baratheon allies as war fodder, just like throwing Rhaenys into battle without any backup, and her personality and looks standing out against the Targaryeans could have shown why the conflict of Roberts Rebellion was inevitable.

The Baratheons were always going to fight back against the Targaryeans one day, and hotd lost its chance to use Rhaenys to lay the first stones and show why.

But, that paints the Targaryeans in a more negative light, because the Baratheons are in the right to hate the Targaryeans. So, they erased everything about Rhaenys that stood out.

Even her death. A very Baratheon move, refusing to flee from certain death, because she was a woman with fury who was willing to face her enemy head on no matter what it was about to cost her.

Instead, she has a confusing death where her going back is framed as brave, but its not. Rhaenys in the books knew she might have stood a chance against Vhagar alone. So in the show, shes just turning back for a battle that she might win. In the books, shes against Vhagar and Sunfyre. Shes turning back towards a battle she knows she will lose, but she does not run, because she is a Baratheon, and they do not run from their enemies. They face them even towards certain death.

Also, book Rhaenys never exploded hundreds of smallfolk with her fucking dragon. She never did that.

[0w0tsuki]

Hey can we stop pretending like the only feasible reason that a trans woman would not like the term femboy is because she's some puritan anti-kinkster or somehow against men being able to dress femininely?

Like perhaps maybe the group of people who had to go through a phase of having to figure out and explore their femininity while being perceived by society as a man DON'T WANT to police the way men are able to present and express their genders? Like maybe WE DON'T want to make things even harder for transfem eggs. Like maybe we might have an interest in protecting transfem eggs and are speaking from the harm that we experienced as eggs ourselves?

Like maybe it might have to do with the fact that outside of Tumblr your average femboy is a trap fetishist? Like did we all forget the memes of "trying to figure out if the Astofolo icon is a trans woman or a fascist?"

Like some of us were discovering our transness during puberty in the early 2000s. You remember the early 2000s right? Where South Park and Family were at the height of their cultural influence, the R slur was a substitute for stupid, and bigotry was so common that "traps are gay" jokes could be made in polite company without having to worry about backlash. So imagine what kink spaces were like. Especially when you're a teenage trans girl just discovering herself.

I personally was so damaged by that experience that I began to believe that my gender-no my EXISTENCE was a fetish to be embarrassed and humiliated by and to be reviled for. I genuinely did not engage in relationships because I believed I was going to have to give in and tell them that they fell in love with a sex object. I did not believe that I was worthy of love. And it took YEARS of working through that for me to be comfortable with transitioning.

And after I worked through that I still have to deal with them. They haven't left kink communities they had their roots in. To this day there's a kink website I frequent that has community suggestions for tags IE: Unless the OP of the work goes back to delete this feature, anyone can "recommend" deletions or additions to the tags of the work. This is in place to make the proper labeling/searching/blacklisting of kinks easier to help curate content. In practice though it allows transmisoginists to basically graffiti any transfem artwork they come across. And let me tell you Femboy tags are getting added on right after they replace F/F with M/M on a transbians t4t work. And it happens so frequently that I have to check in about once a month to these trans tags to inform the most recent victim about what's happened to their works.

And outside of kink spaces I go into fandom spaces where I have had to deal with trap fetishists positioning themselves as fucking lore scholars when they harass trans positive folks about the Correct and Moral gender of the transmisoginistic character that they've got a fap folder dedicated. I got to see someone rise to twitch fame off the back of trap content turn into a “femboy icon” because he gave some of the trap money to trans charities and has a trans girlfriend. Who is still making trap content by the way.I've gotten to see reddit lose their absolute goddamn minds when the term Trap was banned from r/anime, shitting themselves so hard about it that they made their own separate website with transmisogynistic wojaks on the home page and everything. And then I got to see the fucking Bridget Debacle.

The reason I always talk about Bridgets trans confirmation is that it's the most widely recognized recent event where the exact shit I'm talking about was on full display. The reason why her being confirmed as a trans woman was such a big deal for trans girls was not just because she was one of the anime caricatures with her own folder in the trap enthusiasts masterbation portfolio. It was because she was GROUND ZERO for original coining of the word trap. And the EXACT same guys who deemed her a trap were now coming out in DROVES fuck EN MASS. But this time as self appointed femboys. We had so many examples of fucking Astofolo icon twitter facists trying to drudge up any type of left sounding argument using the femboy identity after having their initial arguments revolving around mistranslation were debunked. Crying that transfems were “stealing femboy representation” and trying to say that it was an “antitransmasculization force feminization trope” unironically. You know the cry of “Let men be feminine!!!!” y'all always bring out in defense of femboys. THAT'S who you're parroting! THAT'S who you got it from! We have had direct evidence of former trap fetishists dawning the term femboy when it became less cool to be openly transmisogynistic and then started appropriating leftist language to give their transmisogynistic arguments an air of legitimacy.

Like y'all need to understand that this magical space we got here is a FUCKING BUBBLE. Femboy communities in literally every other online space are former trap/sissy communities and are fucking cess pits of transmisoginy. I have seen posts by people who's only experience being around femboys was on Tumblr go out and check a place like r/mildfemboys to be horrified by the obsessiveness of the transmisogyny the femboys they interact with. And the femboys here aren't much better by treating being forced to acknowledge that these people exist and that is a still very active part of their community even if they don't personally interact with it as a personal attack on them and their gender presentation.

Y'all just want to pretend it doesn't exist and treat the idea that a Transfem might not WANT to interact with YOU(OH GOSH!!) because of it like it's some sort of personal judgement instead of something you're just going to have to accept happens when there's a large portion of people who share that title who are responsible for traumatizing them. But y'all got to go one step further. Y'all who go on about how femboys are our closest allies and about how “femboys and transfems are actually closer than transfems want to admit”. Y'all treat femboys like they're out little fucking brother in the queer community and it's our personal fucking responsibility to leave behind any personal baggage at the door in order to make them feel welcome.

Y'all can't handle the fucking idea that a trans woman might not be comfortable with sharing community with someone who's average member would call her a trap while jacking off to her selfies if he thought he could get away with it. That's she's not interested in playing the Astofolo icon game with them. Y'all gotta create a backwards narratives where she is against her own interests, where she is for making it harder for eggs in the future instead of you know. Asking for better from the communities those eggs are drawn too.

I have been forced to fucking put up with femboys in nearly every online space I've ever been in. And I

Am sick and fucking tired

Of putting up with femboys

[thiefking]

i need to draw/speak more of my narutos. "my narutos" meaning specifically the versions of every character that exist in my head, of course. i wanna draw hinata and gaara (besties of all time) especially. because other than the fact that they have the most fully realized design changes in my head, they are perhaps the defining aspect of My narutos, as opposed to everyone else's. their friendship to me is like "ok i'm going out...! (wearing some extremely Please Don't Look At Me outfit)" "not dressed like that you're not." "better? (she is now gothed the fuck out with an invader zim handbag)" "yas bitch slay." this is how they work. to me

i want to draw Literally Exactly That what i just described there as a meme but i do also kind of want to write or draw sometjing more substantial because i am The Hinata And Gaara Understander. as individual characters and as a pair of besties. amd i need to explain to others why it makes perfect sense because i just Know that i am one of extremely few to look at these two, of all characters, and deduce that the character arc hinata SHOULD have had is one that would be so obvious to gaara & something he would encourage. or maybe the only one, but the fandom is/was so big that it feels statistically unlikely... if we're talking CURRENT fandom i may actually be uniquely insane about this. i don't know for sure i haven't really interacted with the fandom i've been fucking around in my own skull this whole time that's how i even arrived at "hinagaara bffs" in the first place

but like... listen. hinata's thing is basically (in an inconsistent, half-baked, and never fully realized form): "i can change to improve myself and finally meet everyone else's standards and prove them wrong...!" as she is trying to emulate naruto. ... "prove them wrong", but she is not subverting anything if she meets an expectation that was explicitly set. hinata is not naruto. naruto's expectations were that he is worthless and nothing and not worth having any expectations for in the first place, and basically all of konoha thought this way. if naruto accomplishes basically anything at all he proves someone wrong, even if just a little. hinata had expectations set on her, specifically by her family, that she is not meeting. even though what hinata WANTS to do is prove them wrong, what she is fundamentally DOING is trying to please them by doing exactly what they want her to do. yes, when they think she won't even meet their lowest expectation and she does meet it, she is TECHNICALLY proving them wrong... but she isn't really achieving meaningful personal growth by doing this, is she? all she has done is meet their standards and essentially fall into their evil ghoul trap and accept EVEN MORE PRESSURE as a "reward" because now that she finally met this one single goal, they can move the goalpost. she will only ever be the failure who occasionally surprises them, she will always be lagging behind the others, and every single time she fails she gets sent back to square 1 in their eyes. meeting all their expectations or even surpassing them entirely is always going to feel hollow and fragile, because in the back of her mind, if she slips even once she has to do it all over again. she deserves better than constant paranoia

gaara (and pretty specifically gaara) can rightfully point out the problem with hinata's current mindset because hinata's hardships are way closer to GAARA'S than naruto's, to be honest. it's not lacking a family; it's having a family that doesn't feel like a family, and that family isolating one child and encouraging the others to treat them like shit so that one child never has anyone on their own level when they're at home and they are constantly forced to be aware they lack some ambiguous something that seemingly everyone else has that would make them "worthy" of being loved by their own family

hold on let me put yhe rest under a readmore this post is long as fuck

the hyuugas treat hinata like shit and call her weak, and because her parents gladly and openly call her weak and because she's supposed to be heiress to the clan, her sister and neji (the only family who were close enough in age and rank to not intimidate) were made to hate her, think she is weak, be jealous of and resent her for being heiress despite her weakness, and treat her like shit like the other hyuugas do, thus completely isolating her within her family. and rasa treated gaara like shit and had given up on him LONG before he snapped (let's be fucking real here if gaara had to learn that "love" makes emotional pain feel better at age SIX... and not to mention the entire yashamaru """plan""" was utterly and blatantly fucking NONSENSE on all levels like nice going rasa you just turned your kid almost irreversibly insane... seemingly on purpose...? i can only assume it was on purpose and you just wanted to be a spiteful bitch to the kid who killed your wife because literally what else did you think was going to happen with that but that's a rant for another time.), he tacitly encouraged temari and kankuro to not even bother with gaara and to be afraid of him like everyone else is because RASA was also OBVIOUSLY SCARED and not only that he was constantly literally trying to murder gaara so temari and kankuro also had reason to believe from a very young age that associating with him might make rasa treat THEM like that too, essentially forced gaara to straight up kill his uncle who was the ONLY family member he had who talks to him like he isn't a monster (and inexplicably decided that he should also tell gaara outright that he is not and was never loved by anyone), etc etc etc; gaara was also isolated within his own family and made to be the odd one out, over and over again. naruto knows what it's like not having a family at all, but he never experienced having family— non-metaphorical, blood relation, "entire reason you were born" family— who hates you. naruto knows how it feels to be neglected and feared by an entire village, that's how he relates to gaara. hinata was hated by her own family, the people she depended on for life itself, but she was never hated by the village at large, even if she perceives herself to be. naruto can empathize with this and put himself in her shoes, but like... gaara KNOWS, firsthand, what hinata is experiencing. that is why gaara is fairly uniquely capable of pointing out the problem Very Directly because he would see it way faster than anyone else

naruto could see it too, and he could say all the same things, but he wouldn't do it how gaara would. and i think hinata needs to hear someone speak to her, bluntly and authoritatively, and say "you deserve better than this." because normally whenever she hears someone (her own family) speak to her bluntly in an authoritative tone they're telling her she's weak and pathetic and subpar and needs to improve, and every time she is spoken to like that she believes them and marks that weakness off as something to fix. hearing incredibly matter-of-fact validation and encouragement spoken the exact same way primes her to believe that encouragement, and now her compulsive need to please people who speak to her that way is going to force her, even fleetingly, to take it seriously. especially because gaara would tell her something she is doing wrong, which will feel familiar, but he actually has HER best interests in mind. there is no benefit or advantage for him if she succeeds. he is unaffiliated, not even from konoha, he gains nothing from it. gaara doesn't tell her to try harder nor to give up and accept mediocrity. gaara tells her it's okay to give up and try something else, and sometimes it's the people around you who are the ones who need to change, not you.

gaara looks at "i will change myself to prove myself to others", and he says instead: "you need to stop caring what other people think about you and stop morphing yourself to their perception. just because YOU aren't doing that in a 'if you all want to call me a monster then fine, i'll be a monster' kind of way, like i did, that doesn't mean that isn't still an unhealthy way to think. you should figure out who YOU are and live as who YOU are, unapologetically, until they get the point that they can either accept you as you are and realize they were wrong, or they can fuck off. this is a situation where it is Not Your Fucking Problem that other people are disappointed with you especially because of how hard you've already been working to try and meet their arbitrary standards. this isn't about talent or hard work. this is about whether you even Want to be doing what everyone else wants you to do. and it is difficult and terrifying and lonely to be the only person who knows who you really are. it is hard work to figure it out and it is hard work to convince others, and at times it will feel hopeless. so i won't let you be the alone. i won't let you have to try and fail all alone, like i did. i will be your first victory, i will give you listening ears, i will be your silent dressing room mirror while you try on different hats before you figure out which one fits, i will be here and i will not judge you or decide on your behalf who you are, and i will be your family if no one else will. literally. if they cast you out you can come home to me. temari and kankuro have already accepted me as i am, i'm sure they'll accept you as you are too"

and then with time and gentle coaxing hinata decides to stop trying to be what her family wanted her to be and starts being a goth weirdgirl and pursues her interests in mycology and psychology and entomology and starts fucking THRIVING

i could go on forever. i should stop now or i never will. some of the parallels between them or the reasons that gaara would specifically want to support her in the specific ways i envision came about entirely from headcanon (coughs. even more headcanon than... the rest of this... coughs) and i FORGET that it's headcanon. for example "gaara created his good reputation in sunagakure through brute force good deeds. like people were so scared of him that they wouldn't let him CASUALLY prove that he was trying to be better, so he basically had to scare them even more just to prove that he was no longer scary. things like using his sand to hold people in place... so that he can physically put money into their hands and say 'this is yours and you will take it and use it to pay rent and buy your child that toy he wants. i do not want anytjing in return and i will be leaving you alone now.' because otherwise people would run away before he even gets the chance to be nice. literally just has to hold them still and pointedly do something nice for them and then let them go without hurting them while they tremble in misplaced terror like he;s a wildlife vet wrangling an injured seagull". this is part of why he would say "be unapologetically you and they can accept that and realize they were wrong about you to begin with, or they can fuck off". NONE OF THAT is explicitly canon... but there is so much & it makes perfect sense to me. aauuugaghh hinata my hinata my hinagaara besties my hinata. i could go on and on and on and on. goddammit I WILL GIVE HER THE CHARACTER ARC SHE NEEDS & DESERVES... GIVE HER TO ME KISHIMOTO.... WHAT IF THE FACT THAT HINATA HAS 3 PERSONALITY TRAITS IN CANON ACTUALLY MEANT SOMETHING AND WASN'T JUST BECAUSE YOU, MASASHI KISHIMOTO, SELF-ADMITTEDLY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WRITE WOMEN? WOULDN'T THAT BE SO MUCH LESS EMBARRASSING FOR YOU? I CAN MAKE IT REAL! I CAN MAKE IT MEANINGFUL!!!! I CAN MAKE IT ABOUT REPRESSION!!!! I CAN MAKE IT ABOUT WORKING HARD TO BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE, AND SAYING "SCREW YOU" TO PEOPLE WHO TRY AND DECIDE WHO YOU ARE ON YOUR BEHALF, AND THE REJECTION OF THE STATUS QUO, AND EMBRACING THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU DIFFERENT AND MAKING USE WHAT UNIQUE STRENGTHS YOU HAVE INSTEAD OF TRYING TO MATCH WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING, AND HOW HUMAN LIVES ARE INHERENTLY VALUABLE EVEN IF EVERYONE AROUND YOU SAYS YOURS IS WORTH NOTHING!!! JUST LIKE WHAT NARUTO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!! I CAN EVEN SPICE IT UP A BIT AND USE MY MAGICAL WOMAN-UNDERSTANDING POWERS TO MAKE IT ABOUT HOW WOMEN ARE ACTUALLY JUST REGULAR PEOPLE WHO ARE AS VARIED AS MEN AND HOW THE SOCIETAL CONCEPTS OF WOMANHOOD AND PROPER WOMANLY BEHAVIOUR ARE RESTRICTIVE AND OPPRESSIVE, AND THE MANY WAYS THAT SOCIETY WILL FORCE TOTAL CONFORMITY AND PUNISH EVERYONE WHO STEPS OUTSIDE OF THAT FRAME (AND EVEN THOSE WHO REMAIN WITHIN)!!! I CAN MAKE IT ABOUT COMPULSORY HETEROSEXUALITY!!!! I KNOW YOU'RE AFRAID OF GIRLS MR KISHIMOTO WILL IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER IF I ALSO MAKE IT ABOUT NEJI WATCHING HINATA COMPLETELY REJECT HER CAGE AND DISCOVER HERSELF AND HOW HE FEELS ABOUT IT AND MAYBE JUST COVER YOUR EARS WHEN I START TALKING ABOUT EGGS!!!!!! MR KISHIMOTOOOOOO PLEEEEEEEASE

[jewishbarbies]

I think that Ariana Grande is a home wrecker as she has always had people around her be forced to work around her schedule and what she wants.

I'm not sure if you read Jeanette McCurdy's book but in it she mention how often times she was forced to work around Ariana's schedule. Like they literally wrote an episode of Sam and Cat where Ariana was trapped in a bibble box for the entire episode as Ariana had to go do something for her music career. In Jeanette's book she has more examples of how she was pushed aside by Nickelodeon so Ariana could be mega successful.

Like Ariana was a teen on the show. It must have impacted her behavior and what she expects of others. I cannot imagine is hasnt.

That's not to say that Ari should be excused for her behavior. She is an adult who is mega wealthy. She can definitely afford a good therapist to work through that. She has no barriers to getting help other than her own willingness.

I don't even think she is in love with Ethan. I think it was moreso a power trip for her as she craves making others work around her. I think that the only reason they have been together this long is because if they broke up now, she will get so much bad PR for being a home wrecker and then not even staying in the relationship long enough for it to be "justified"

I also think that Ethan is also to blame and at fault. I am in a long term relationship and I have encountered a few people during our relationship who I develop small crushes on. However I don't pursue anything as I love my partner very much and don't want to ruin what we have for a silly little crush. Like it's normal to be attracted to more than one person, however for those who know that polyamory isn't for them (like me) it's literally not hard to just not pursue another person whilst in a relationship.

My opinion on Ethan and Ari is purely just assump btw

from what i know about her, she grew up upper middle class in a wealthy neighborhood and basically went from privileged to insanely privileged and hasn’t been told no very much in her life. it would not surprise me if that influenced how she feels relationships. she kinda told on herself with that “i see it, i like it, i want it, i got it.” line. I haven’t seen a single person say ethan is not at all at fault for what happened, but ariana knew he was taken and purposely pursued him and i feel like that’s so much worse. it’s one thing if you truly don’t know. but to HOLD THEIR BABY and pretend to be the wife’s friend just to seduce her husband for herself? fucked beyond belief, and how she’s handling it rn is very telling to me.

[chizups]

Am new to your tumblr (got drawn here by your pretty ocs (✿◡‿◡)) and I hope that has not been asked before but: What are your opinions on each individual Seed? And what do your OCs think about them? I always think it is interesting to see where opinions are the same or differ (●'◡'●)

Welcome! Feel yourself at home 😊

Oh, boi, do I keep my unhinged to myself when answering that? I guess we'll see. When I just got through my first FC5 run, I didn't find John to be that interesting (I didn't understand at the time really), Jacob was absolutely terrifying in a best way possible for a character to be, and Joseph became most intriguing to me, which is the case still: I am enamored with his whole character, but the more I get to know about him, the less I understand WHY, because he is infuriating, but he also keeps my underwear wet, and it's harder to say WHY by the minute 😂😅

Now that I spent some time looking into these characters, I see them a bit differently and I love them even more. Jacob was somehow the easiest for me to comprehend. I really like him as a character, and his villain image was shining even brighter when I played New Dawn: there, looking at twins, I realized for myself how intimidating Jacob actually was. I really like him as a brother/father figure, as a protector and I sorry about his fate. Can't say I would have anything to tell him, no words can fix a man like that I feel. At least none of mine. The only support I could've give is maybe hold his hand. He was a fighter and deserved better from the very start.

John opened to me with time, or rather was opened to me by people who know their shit about psychology😆 I thought he just have brain damage or something, but what escaped me at the start is his complicated set of traumas. But I know now... Again, I am very sorry about his fate, I pity him as a child, he did not deserve what he got. But John is an adult, and he is a lot. Here's my level of unhinged starts growing, because as much as I love John, I want to slap him, or stab him, or dismember him and eat his parts, while keeping him alive, I... Y'know? Normal stuff. I also have a set of my own psy problems that makes me feel a certain way about men like John: John Duncan (as well as Seed I guess at least at the start of the project) for the eyes of unknowing person would be too good to be true and therefore unworthy of trust, that means any other handsome, educated and charismatic man is untrustworthy. John Seed fucking triggers me, I feel unwanted every time I look at him, but I like him as a character nonetheless. Fuck this brat💖

Faith has impressed me by the control she has over The Bliss, it's fascinating. But she doesn't stick to my mind like brothers do, I kind of sorry about it. She is clearly a puppet, and though I pity her, and I think she is the one that was actually the closest to possible saving, I do not care that much. I'd say I wish to protect her from Joseph's influence, but it seems I got into this trap myself.

Fucking Joseph... Love. I love this man. I do this basically all the time👇

He intrigued me from the first sight, and I even envy him in some sense. But I see him more clearly now. Started after FC6 Collapse DLC, where my desire to throw this man off a cliff grew with every phrase spoken in the game. This manic asshole... The infuriating thing is, I am an aggressive scaredy cat who IRL does not trust people or religious nature easily in general, but I FUCKING KNOW Joseph would wrap me around his finger, and I hate it. And I still enamored with him.

Imagining him being chained in my basement or thrown off a cliff is an erotic fantasy by now. I am so normal about him, you can't imagine...

***

My OCs think... a lot. There's a few Alternative Universes that vary their opinions a bit because of dynamics changing and switching, but overall it stays the same.

It really all started with Dina, I played ND and needed an avatar to express my opinions, though she quickly evolved into her own character. Dina Sommer is very loyal to Jacob in every story, she won't sleep herself to guard his peace, she won't eat if he has no food in his plate. In her eyes he is the best human being, she relies on him and is devoted to keep him safe. Dina respects Joseph. To a degree. He is not higher in her hierarchy than Jacob by any means and even more than that, with time Dina starts seeing Joseph as a threat to her commander's wellbeing therefore she doesn't like him in the slightest, though she won't talk about for obvious reasons. John and Dina barely meet and talk, and it was decided that they won't know what to do in each other's presence, because they both are fucking children. Let's say whatever opinion of John Jacob is translating to Dina, it is the exact one Dina has. Dina and Faith do not really know each other.

Salome Ann Clock is a caring soul, so no matter if my story of the day is angst or fluff, she tries to look for common ground and be a peace maker, to bring comfort to others, even when she is herself broken. She is able to find some pity in herself for Faith, respect for Jacob, forgiveness and compassion for John, but she is terrified of Joseph. Even in Twisted Untitled where she is married to him, Salome sees him as an idol first and foremost and is afraid of what he does to people and her, physically or mentally. Her basic was that she did not plan on killing so many people and Seeds too. Salome wanted to arrest them. To bring justice by the law, yes, but also because she wanted to do the right thing and save them. To realize she all this time was kept alive by Joseph's word alone was crushing to her.

My favorite warframe-witch-fairy-feetless-mystical-woman Wisp is enamored with Joseph, trusted most of the things he said for a very long time, they are very close friends. She is sorry for all his losses, loves him dearly despite understanding that he is sometimes goes too far. She is also the only character that can actually push that fucker around without consequences, and I love it for her. Because sometimes she actually does. She tries to protect his image in some sense, like a sober wife talks about her drunk husband, that she loves very much, but still embarrassed by him: he is not that bad, she swears, she'll grab him by the neck later if it makes you feel any better about the situation. Wisp respects Jacob very much since he is a soldier, hence a weapon, like she is, but because he is absolutely closed to her mental reach, they barely interact, which saddens her, but she accepts it as it is. Faith is Wisp's favorite girl, she is impressed by the Bliss control just like I am. They are definitely girlfriends on easy mode, but Joseph doesn't need to know it, hehe. If situation occurs, where Joseph and Faith will be in danger at the same time, there is a high possibility that Wisp will try to protect Faith first instead of running to Joseph. Wisp's relationship with John has two options: in any other story he is just a member of the family Wisp protects, because it is Joseph's family, but they are not even friends, bc John doesn't trust her; in Seeds & Witches however Wisp is John's long time friend, a nanny you could say, he trusts her 120%, and she cares for him like she never carried for Joseph even in any other story, John is her little mew mew baby princess boi💝

Recent addition to my group of cunts is Restless Mina. Originally started in Seeds & Witches, she is mostly indifferent in relation to all Seeds there, but Twisted Untitled helped me develop her, and it happens so she is in many ways a mirror image of John, so they are not very friendly to each other, but their hostility has more of a rival aspect than if they were actual enemies. Mina likes him, but hates to admit it, she teases and taunts him often just to make him mad. It is mutual. However this is a way for them to support each other, since they are not the same just as is, but in Joseph's eye as well, receiving the same treatment from him. Joseph wakes many complicated feelings in Mina, she is afraid of him, but sees no other light on her dark path, so runs to him when in need of a good word of wisdom. Which is often. She is also intrigued by Jacob and respects him highly, though is not very sure herself why that is. She is however tied to John (he introduces her to religion) and almost prohibited from visiting the mountains. So there's not much she can express about the older brother. Mina doesn't understand Faith, her field of work and influence is very confusing to the point of being scary to Mina, therefore she does not hold very high opinion about the sister.

I think that is all❣️

[ballcrusher74]

WOOOHOOOO IM ALLOWED TO ASK ALOT OF QUESTIONS YIPEEEE!!!!!

▪︎Do you have any fandom ocs but ARENT lethal company that youd ever like to talk about :0?

▪︎What ever happened to Jawbreaker's (your sona) homeplanet after he left, I remember the story was he was exceptional but insubordinate so like, did anyone get fired for letting that guy just scramble away

▪︎who is your favourite oc presently! :3 and have you any miscellaneous facts about them?

▪︎what's in the gyatt folder

▪︎ since Metronoia (I hope I spelled that right from memory) is a dimension/reality hopper, how does other realities effect his state of being, has there ever been a reality the guy found unpleasant or dare I say scary‼‼‼‼‼‼‼😲

CRAKCING FINGERS. YUES. I LOVE BEING AUTISTIC ABOUT MY OWN CHARACTERS.

Yes, I do ! I have some roblox ocs, two being for the game Regretevator ! Broseth is just a completely original guy that I had created based off one of my avatars, and Gamma Ray was kinda ... a shameless semi-self insert character to be buddies with one of my favorite characters in game (Mach)

I also have this guy, Tixton ! Based off the now deceased roblox currency, he was apart of a friend roblox oc group called Investors ! There's a long story to it all, but Tixton's whole deal was him being an undead ghost guy that was so hellbent on the idea of being alive again (he died with the removal of tix, and was young when that happened) that he basically tried to steal someone's body. I seem to have a liking for making undead / weirdly semi-undead characters, huh

Moving on from roblox, here's Bumbo ! A guy that was originally made for a fanbase I really don't wanna name, but has now been converted into a BBIEAL / Baldi mod oc ! Originally I was gonna kinda leave him the dirt after leaving aforementioned unnamed fandom, but my boyfriend helped me redesign him for his own Baldi mod / fangame ^_^ <3 Now he is my bumbling sweet baby boy

Now moving to . Ourple FNF ... ? There was this guy I created, Aerguhbee ! Though, I very much fell off of keeping up with Ourple / FNF stuff in general for a lot of reasons, I still kinda like this guy. He had a bit of a sloppy story, and it never really was even completed, but from what I remember- he was a trapped soul within a security monitor, killed in his place of work as a nightguard. The monitor served as an eternal purgatory for him called 'Moire Edge'. He was able to manifest a form outside of the monitor in order to lure others into his forever limbo, under the guise of becoming friends. If anything, I might just bring back this guy as a wholly original character since I do still kinda fuck with him

And, before going onto the next question (FINALLY), I'll throw in a bonus : Deacon originally wasn't LC related ! He was a Toontown : Corporate Clash oc, which is such a MAJOR contrast compared to how he is now LOL . I don't think he really had much of story when he was a TT:CC character, besides the fact of being secretly miserable about his job, but I think that's really it. I'll admit I kinda miss his really bright yellow, but I am so much more happier with him now (featuring my toon sona / oc in the last pic but this ain't about him)

As for Jawbreaker's home planet, they most likely are continuing on their lives as normal. Metsu probably does wonder where he went off to, but hey- not their problem anymore. As for what happened to the guards that failed to capture him again after his prison escape, they most likely were shattered (killed) and their resources recycled

THIS IS A TOUGH ONE. I think it's also just because all my original ocs are very personal to me and I genuinely treat them as parts of myself segmented into their own stories and worlds. Though, if I really have to pick one, I think it would be my art deity guy- which, I am kinda getting tired of just saying that, so I'll just say his name : Abstrakt Mondrian. He is very much an oc of mine that I hold close to my heart, especially considering his story deals with grief, and it almost sounds stupid to say he is an oc of mine that has helped me through a lot ? Also, design wise, I just really like him. Like, I'm not fucking joking when I say that I've had this guy for 4-ish years and his design has barely changed at ALL . It's crazy

Metanoia jumping to different dimensions does very much fuck up his appearance, and there have been a couple places he's found very dissatisfying or horrifying ! These dimensional distortions don't last whenever he exits the dimension that causes it, but it's not that pleasant for him in the moment. These distortions can range from very minimal things, things he can handle, such as a simple change of colors or height, to distortions that almost make him unrecognizable and feel uncomfortable in his own body. Here are some quick examples I did of those !

( Btw, distortions can be fucking crazy. The main thing about them is they could be literally any style and still work, so if anyone wants to take a crack at one you can literally go insane and do whatever LOL )

[onewiththebookworms]

My night went from crying to a stranger to what the fuck? in a matter of minutes…

Sorry if it’s not the best, I haven’t written in a while - Not my GIF or photos

Pronouns used are She/Her, and Y/N means your name

(I can take requests for specific names and characters)

About Y/N:

Y/N goes to a party after being invited by her friend, Y/N’s friend leaves and is left alone

Y/N plays the violin and sings

Y/N’s spider suit and outfit to the party:

It was loud. I mean really loud. I could feel the vibrations of the bass through the floor, but that could just be everyone jumping to the music.

It was packed. I mean packed. I was either shoulder to shoulder with someone or backed up against the wall.

That’s when he saw me. I was backed into a corner. He comes over and introduces himself as “Ryan” He extends a hand for me to shake, I shake it. “Y/N” I say over the music, trying to make myself heard. “Why don’t we go somewhere quieter?” Ryan yells back and without me answering, grabs my hand and drags me away onto a balcony.

I should have said no. I should have stayed put. I should have snuck home or better yet not come to this stupid party.

When we got onto the balcony, there was only one other person. They were minding their own business on, I glanced over and for a second they looked almost 2D. Impossible, I thought.

“Do you want a drink?” Ryan says, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Umm no tha-” Ryan walks away to the drinks table leaving me.

I want to go, I do. It’s loud and I don’t even know why I signed up for this. My suit is sticking out from under my jacket. “Shit” I say softly, to myself. I try to pull my jacket down but now the other side is visible. I think, my soit is dark navy and white but only the navy is visible and it’s probably too dark to notice and Ryan doesn’t seem the smartest.

What is taking him so long? Maybe he forgot about me, I hope for that. I want an excuse to go. My hand starts shaking. It does that a lot. I place my hand higher than my heart and my finger starts tapping my collarbone in beats of 4.

Ryan still isn’t back.

The other person on the balcony seems to notice my tapping and turns to look at me. I don’t notice because I’m facing off into the city.

“Y/N” A slurred voice comes from behind me, Ryan looks like he'll fall over any at second. He shoves a red plastic cup in my hand. “I’m good Ryan” Ryan looks me dead in the eyes. He seems like he wants to kill me, “Drink” The syllables are blurring together. I take a sip and my face goes sour, as soon as Ryan turns, I spit the drink back into the cup. Then pour the remains into a plant pot with a dead looking twig in.

Suddenly Ryan launches himself at me. I’m pinned up between him and the railing to the balcony.

I’m trapped. I’m so trapped in fact that one wrong move and either myself or Ryan could be sent over the edge.

Ryan goes to kiss me, one of his hands grabbing my face to keep it still. “Ryan! Stop.” He continues as he says “Shush baby” He kisses me, hard. Tears fall down my face. I try to push him off but he’s double my height and practically laying on top of me. Fear was obvious in my eyes and when Ryan sees, he laughs. Laughs at the fact how I am helpless and scared. How sick.

“Help” I say, In between the rough kissing Ryan is giving. I look for the guy on the balcony but he isn’t there anymore, he was my last hope.

Desperation fills my eyes now, as tears continue to flow.

Then Ryan gets pulled off me and I am left alone on the balcony. I don’t quite know what happened next but I find myself of the balcony floor crying and my hand returned to my collarbone.

I feel someone sit next to me. We sit in comfortable silence for a good 10 minutes. My hand taps in a basic rhythmic pattern, 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4…

“Are you a musician?” He asks. My tapping slows to a stop, I hesitate then, “I play the Violin and sing”

“Cool, I play guitar” He replies

As we sit in silence, a scream pierced the air. We turn and “Oh my god” I don’t even know what it is. “Go inside and Stay there” The boy next to me said.

I ran in but there was no way I was going to stay put. I took my jacket, top and jeans off revealing my spider suit on underneath. Next thing you know I was swinging towards the action.

What is that? That was a humanoid creature, it was floating as if summoning something. And had snake tattoos glowing, wait never-mind. Now they’re actually snakes cool.

Wait, what the fuck? Another spider? That’s impossible, right. Well no time dwelling on that. I’m gonna kick some devil’s ass!

“Shit!” I say, one of the snakes is wrapping itself around my leg. I shoot webs at the devil dude, sticking him to the wall but..

“Ow! Fuck!” The snake had coiled around my leg, cutting off circulation completely. I knew that dangers of losing oxygen to a muscle but the snake was not budging.

An orange light grew from the alleyway and 2 other spiders stepped out. “What the?” I said quietly.

A spider ran over to me, he seemed oddly 2D. Weird, like the guy from the party, I thought. He managed to get the snake off. My leg was annoying but will be fine. I looked over to where the other spiders were, they were taking the devil dude and he was glitching like hell.

My night went from crying to a stranger to what the fuck? in a matter of minutes.

The spiders taking care of devil dude, had tied him up and starting taking him towards what I can only assume was a portal. I mean it was various shades glowing orange pentagons, and it appeared out of nowhere.

Oh! Damn! I need to go back up, Like now. I swung back to the party and managed to put my ordinary clothes back on.

“Are you ok” the guy from the balcony asked. “All good” I replied, out of breath. Most of the people from the party were still there, to be honest I don’t think they heard a thing.

We started to walk out and I fell flat on my face, I anticipated to floor to face contact but i was caught by the guy from the balcony.

“Sorry, dead leg” I motioned to the leg that got acquainted with a snake.

“It’s fine, the names Hobie”

“Y/N, good to meet you”

Authors Note:

If you want liked this then I’d love to do Hobie’s pov

hope you enjoyed xoxo

[late-nite-scholar]

Aug 14 (Day 3)- Ghost/Hungry

Thoughts of the Nerevarine, Rilenna, as they prepare to go up Red Mountain for the final confrontation. Prompts by @tes-summer-fest

Dunmer Nerevarine who is not Nerevar.  

Warnings- none

Wordcount- ~650

***

I’m haunted by a ghost. I never see him, never hear him. He doesn’t fling things around or write strange messages in blood. But he’s constant, ever-present. He dogs every step and action and word I say.  

I can’t get rid of him. 

The worst part is that he’s taking over my life. I have a mission now, and it’s basically picking up the pieces and cleaning up a mess he left behind. Sorting out the ramifications of things that happened thousands of years ago. They gave me his ring. Now they call me by his name. Everyone does. Even his friends. Even his enemies. My own name is becoming lost, pushed away and forgotten. 

I want to scream at them. I want to grab them by the shoulders and tell them: MY NAME IS RILENNA! But they don’t hear it. All they see is him. To them, I am him, somehow returned after all this time. I’m the one who checks all the boxes for their prophecy, even if they spit at me and call me outlander. N’wah. They like that word. It doesn’t matter that I’m as Dunmer as they are. I’m not from here, so I don’t count. Rilenna is not welcome here. Only Nerevar is. 

The only problem is that I’m not Nerevar. Never was, never will be. I was supposed to think I was, but something fucked up. Even Azura can’t explain exactly what went wrong. So I’m still Rilenna, but now with Nerevar’s memories stuck in my head. Now I can’t get rid of him no matter where I go. The ghost has found himself a home inside my brain. 

Maybe it would’ve been easier. Maybe if I wasn’t so stubborn. I could’ve let go, let his memories take over. I could’ve been the hero, the Nerevar that everyone wants. People would laud me and bow to me and I wouldn’t feel like an impostor. I wouldn’t feel that resentment at being called his name. I’d feel like I knew what I was doing, rather than grasping at straws and hoping I didn’t make things any worse. I wouldn’t look in the mirror, desperately hoping to still see myself reflected back at me, and wanting to smash it every time I feel like there’s some glimpse of him in my face. 

I wish I still knew who I was, what I was. 

I wish I had never taken this ring. 

I wish Azura had chosen someone else. 

I wish the human emperor had sent someone else. 

I wish I’d never come to Morrowind. 

I wish this ghost would stop haunting me. 

I wish I could still just be Rilenna.

But all that’s left now is the mountain, and the figure in the gold mask. He’s waiting for him. He’s going to be disappointed, this Dagoth Ur. Because all he’s going to get is me. He’s waited all this time for someone who’s not coming back. Who sent instead some n’wah Dunmer that doesn’t even know how to be a Dunmer. That’s pretty cold. I won’t blame him for smiting me on the spot. At least then I’d be free of all this. 

I look up at the mountain. It’s time. One way or another, it all ends here. Two souls, trapped by these accursed circumstances, destined to meet beneath the mountain. Destined to fight, betrayed and abandoned by ones that were supposed to love them. I wish I could run, wish we could run. What if we just ran together? What if we left all of this behind, abandoned destiny and prophecy as we’ve been abandoned? 

But we can’t. It’s been too long. The threads of this cursed tapestry are too tightly woven. So I start up the mountain, tools forged by a long-dead people in my hands, to play it out. We have no other choice. Not in this place where destiny is made.              

[idridian]

for the reverse unpopular opinion thing: here's a blank check to talk about douglas rain 😘

thank you kindly for activating my trap card, here's a NON-EXHAUSTIVE list (in no particular order and pulled entirely from memory) of delightful facts about douglas rain:

cared so incredibly much about the canadian theatre scene and tried to improve it wherever he could, be that by performing or by teaching younger actors. he had many opinions about how to get people interested in theatre

rehearsals were apparently his favourite part of acting and he was highkey intense about it for understandable reasons, which does NOT detract from the ???? factor of finding out that he straight up built a partial replica of the stratford festival theatre stage in his fuckin attic at home so he could practice his lines and blocking there. like what the fuck douglas, can you chill

the only thing funnier than this is the line immediately preceding this nugget of info in his stratford festival archives entry, where one of the artistic directors of the shaw festival is like "douglas rain had the uncanny ability to be word-perfect by week two of rehearsals" like yeah bitch, i wonder why. he went home from rehearsals and went to his attic to continue rehearsing there lol

during the very first season of stratford, he understudied alec guinness as the title role in richard iii, and one time the director 'Big Man' guthrie challenged him to imitate mr guinness' performance as closely as he could, which resulted in guinness grabbing a two-by-four and chasing douglas around the stage with it???? douglas was not entirely sure if it was because he did it really well or really badly

apparently kept a vegetable garden. this has nothing to do with anything; i just think it's cute that he had hobbies

spoke in a particular (now basically extinct, from what i understand) version of canadian english called canadian dainty, which veers slightly towards british pronunciation. combined with his very precise diction, this makes him say some words kinda funny, which i find very endearing/entertaining

he was apparently also really good at doing other accents. the only physical evidence i have of this is his performance in william lyon mackenzie: a friend to his country, where he does a scottish accent (and again, i am delighted), but i've read in Extremely Old Newspapers that he could do like,,, a perfect irish accent as a child??

i tracked down his yearbook entry from when he graduated in 1950 (in my defence, the manitoba university has an archive of decades worth of yearbooks freely available as pdfs on their website; what else are they for if not this) and the last sentence of his entry says "future is undecided, but indications are good" which is incredibly funny. they really said 'yeah idk what his deal is exactly, but he seems to be having fun'. and they were RIGHT

my honest impression of him is that he would never intentionally cause chaos because that would be impolite, but if you dropped him into a chaotic situation he would take a look around and then immediately refuse to leave, which imo is even more hysterical

"all the best sweetie"

while i categorically enjoy everything he's involved in by pure virtue of him being there, i harbour a particular fondness for roles where he plays just,,,, an absolute DUMBASS. like i cannot express in words the joy i felt when listening to tartuffe (1968) and hearing him make indignant grumbling noises as he crawled under a table while martha henry, his irl wife playing his wife in the play, made fun of him. 11/10 it means everything to me

i find him very handsome also. again, nothing to do with anything, i just like to look at him y'know

anyway i have to stop now because if left to my own devices, this post would just keep going forever, but you get the point. i adore him <3