#did we all enjoy my headcanons. my insanity. who am i kidding no one read all this shit

[thiefking]

i need to draw/speak more of my narutos. "my narutos" meaning specifically the versions of every character that exist in my head, of course. i wanna draw hinata and gaara (besties of all time) especially. because other than the fact that they have the most fully realized design changes in my head, they are perhaps the defining aspect of My narutos, as opposed to everyone else's. their friendship to me is like "ok i'm going out...! (wearing some extremely Please Don't Look At Me outfit)" "not dressed like that you're not." "better? (she is now gothed the fuck out with an invader zim handbag)" "yas bitch slay." this is how they work. to me

i want to draw Literally Exactly That what i just described there as a meme but i do also kind of want to write or draw sometjing more substantial because i am The Hinata And Gaara Understander. as individual characters and as a pair of besties. amd i need to explain to others why it makes perfect sense because i just Know that i am one of extremely few to look at these two, of all characters, and deduce that the character arc hinata SHOULD have had is one that would be so obvious to gaara & something he would encourage. or maybe the only one, but the fandom is/was so big that it feels statistically unlikely... if we're talking CURRENT fandom i may actually be uniquely insane about this. i don't know for sure i haven't really interacted with the fandom i've been fucking around in my own skull this whole time that's how i even arrived at "hinagaara bffs" in the first place

but like... listen. hinata's thing is basically (in an inconsistent, half-baked, and never fully realized form): "i can change to improve myself and finally meet everyone else's standards and prove them wrong...!" as she is trying to emulate naruto. ... "prove them wrong", but she is not subverting anything if she meets an expectation that was explicitly set. hinata is not naruto. naruto's expectations were that he is worthless and nothing and not worth having any expectations for in the first place, and basically all of konoha thought this way. if naruto accomplishes basically anything at all he proves someone wrong, even if just a little. hinata had expectations set on her, specifically by her family, that she is not meeting. even though what hinata WANTS to do is prove them wrong, what she is fundamentally DOING is trying to please them by doing exactly what they want her to do. yes, when they think she won't even meet their lowest expectation and she does meet it, she is TECHNICALLY proving them wrong... but she isn't really achieving meaningful personal growth by doing this, is she? all she has done is meet their standards and essentially fall into their evil ghoul trap and accept EVEN MORE PRESSURE as a "reward" because now that she finally met this one single goal, they can move the goalpost. she will only ever be the failure who occasionally surprises them, she will always be lagging behind the others, and every single time she fails she gets sent back to square 1 in their eyes. meeting all their expectations or even surpassing them entirely is always going to feel hollow and fragile, because in the back of her mind, if she slips even once she has to do it all over again. she deserves better than constant paranoia

gaara (and pretty specifically gaara) can rightfully point out the problem with hinata's current mindset because hinata's hardships are way closer to GAARA'S than naruto's, to be honest. it's not lacking a family; it's having a family that doesn't feel like a family, and that family isolating one child and encouraging the others to treat them like shit so that one child never has anyone on their own level when they're at home and they are constantly forced to be aware they lack some ambiguous something that seemingly everyone else has that would make them "worthy" of being loved by their own family

hold on let me put yhe rest under a readmore this post is long as fuck

the hyuugas treat hinata like shit and call her weak, and because her parents gladly and openly call her weak and because she's supposed to be heiress to the clan, her sister and neji (the only family who were close enough in age and rank to not intimidate) were made to hate her, think she is weak, be jealous of and resent her for being heiress despite her weakness, and treat her like shit like the other hyuugas do, thus completely isolating her within her family. and rasa treated gaara like shit and had given up on him LONG before he snapped (let's be fucking real here if gaara had to learn that "love" makes emotional pain feel better at age SIX... and not to mention the entire yashamaru """plan""" was utterly and blatantly fucking NONSENSE on all levels like nice going rasa you just turned your kid almost irreversibly insane... seemingly on purpose...? i can only assume it was on purpose and you just wanted to be a spiteful bitch to the kid who killed your wife because literally what else did you think was going to happen with that but that's a rant for another time.), he tacitly encouraged temari and kankuro to not even bother with gaara and to be afraid of him like everyone else is because RASA was also OBVIOUSLY SCARED and not only that he was constantly literally trying to murder gaara so temari and kankuro also had reason to believe from a very young age that associating with him might make rasa treat THEM like that too, essentially forced gaara to straight up kill his uncle who was the ONLY family member he had who talks to him like he isn't a monster (and inexplicably decided that he should also tell gaara outright that he is not and was never loved by anyone), etc etc etc; gaara was also isolated within his own family and made to be the odd one out, over and over again. naruto knows what it's like not having a family at all, but he never experienced having family— non-metaphorical, blood relation, "entire reason you were born" family— who hates you. naruto knows how it feels to be neglected and feared by an entire village, that's how he relates to gaara. hinata was hated by her own family, the people she depended on for life itself, but she was never hated by the village at large, even if she perceives herself to be. naruto can empathize with this and put himself in her shoes, but like... gaara KNOWS, firsthand, what hinata is experiencing. that is why gaara is fairly uniquely capable of pointing out the problem Very Directly because he would see it way faster than anyone else

naruto could see it too, and he could say all the same things, but he wouldn't do it how gaara would. and i think hinata needs to hear someone speak to her, bluntly and authoritatively, and say "you deserve better than this." because normally whenever she hears someone (her own family) speak to her bluntly in an authoritative tone they're telling her she's weak and pathetic and subpar and needs to improve, and every time she is spoken to like that she believes them and marks that weakness off as something to fix. hearing incredibly matter-of-fact validation and encouragement spoken the exact same way primes her to believe that encouragement, and now her compulsive need to please people who speak to her that way is going to force her, even fleetingly, to take it seriously. especially because gaara would tell her something she is doing wrong, which will feel familiar, but he actually has HER best interests in mind. there is no benefit or advantage for him if she succeeds. he is unaffiliated, not even from konoha, he gains nothing from it. gaara doesn't tell her to try harder nor to give up and accept mediocrity. gaara tells her it's okay to give up and try something else, and sometimes it's the people around you who are the ones who need to change, not you.

gaara looks at "i will change myself to prove myself to others", and he says instead: "you need to stop caring what other people think about you and stop morphing yourself to their perception. just because YOU aren't doing that in a 'if you all want to call me a monster then fine, i'll be a monster' kind of way, like i did, that doesn't mean that isn't still an unhealthy way to think. you should figure out who YOU are and live as who YOU are, unapologetically, until they get the point that they can either accept you as you are and realize they were wrong, or they can fuck off. this is a situation where it is Not Your Fucking Problem that other people are disappointed with you especially because of how hard you've already been working to try and meet their arbitrary standards. this isn't about talent or hard work. this is about whether you even Want to be doing what everyone else wants you to do. and it is difficult and terrifying and lonely to be the only person who knows who you really are. it is hard work to figure it out and it is hard work to convince others, and at times it will feel hopeless. so i won't let you be the alone. i won't let you have to try and fail all alone, like i did. i will be your first victory, i will give you listening ears, i will be your silent dressing room mirror while you try on different hats before you figure out which one fits, i will be here and i will not judge you or decide on your behalf who you are, and i will be your family if no one else will. literally. if they cast you out you can come home to me. temari and kankuro have already accepted me as i am, i'm sure they'll accept you as you are too"

and then with time and gentle coaxing hinata decides to stop trying to be what her family wanted her to be and starts being a goth weirdgirl and pursues her interests in mycology and psychology and entomology and starts fucking THRIVING

i could go on forever. i should stop now or i never will. some of the parallels between them or the reasons that gaara would specifically want to support her in the specific ways i envision came about entirely from headcanon (coughs. even more headcanon than... the rest of this... coughs) and i FORGET that it's headcanon. for example "gaara created his good reputation in sunagakure through brute force good deeds. like people were so scared of him that they wouldn't let him CASUALLY prove that he was trying to be better, so he basically had to scare them even more just to prove that he was no longer scary. things like using his sand to hold people in place... so that he can physically put money into their hands and say 'this is yours and you will take it and use it to pay rent and buy your child that toy he wants. i do not want anytjing in return and i will be leaving you alone now.' because otherwise people would run away before he even gets the chance to be nice. literally just has to hold them still and pointedly do something nice for them and then let them go without hurting them while they tremble in misplaced terror like he;s a wildlife vet wrangling an injured seagull". this is part of why he would say "be unapologetically you and they can accept that and realize they were wrong about you to begin with, or they can fuck off". NONE OF THAT is explicitly canon... but there is so much & it makes perfect sense to me. aauuugaghh hinata my hinata my hinagaara besties my hinata. i could go on and on and on and on. goddammit I WILL GIVE HER THE CHARACTER ARC SHE NEEDS & DESERVES... GIVE HER TO ME KISHIMOTO.... WHAT IF THE FACT THAT HINATA HAS 3 PERSONALITY TRAITS IN CANON ACTUALLY MEANT SOMETHING AND WASN'T JUST BECAUSE YOU, MASASHI KISHIMOTO, SELF-ADMITTEDLY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WRITE WOMEN? WOULDN'T THAT BE SO MUCH LESS EMBARRASSING FOR YOU? I CAN MAKE IT REAL! I CAN MAKE IT MEANINGFUL!!!! I CAN MAKE IT ABOUT REPRESSION!!!! I CAN MAKE IT ABOUT WORKING HARD TO BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE, AND SAYING "SCREW YOU" TO PEOPLE WHO TRY AND DECIDE WHO YOU ARE ON YOUR BEHALF, AND THE REJECTION OF THE STATUS QUO, AND EMBRACING THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU DIFFERENT AND MAKING USE WHAT UNIQUE STRENGTHS YOU HAVE INSTEAD OF TRYING TO MATCH WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING, AND HOW HUMAN LIVES ARE INHERENTLY VALUABLE EVEN IF EVERYONE AROUND YOU SAYS YOURS IS WORTH NOTHING!!! JUST LIKE WHAT NARUTO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!! I CAN EVEN SPICE IT UP A BIT AND USE MY MAGICAL WOMAN-UNDERSTANDING POWERS TO MAKE IT ABOUT HOW WOMEN ARE ACTUALLY JUST REGULAR PEOPLE WHO ARE AS VARIED AS MEN AND HOW THE SOCIETAL CONCEPTS OF WOMANHOOD AND PROPER WOMANLY BEHAVIOUR ARE RESTRICTIVE AND OPPRESSIVE, AND THE MANY WAYS THAT SOCIETY WILL FORCE TOTAL CONFORMITY AND PUNISH EVERYONE WHO STEPS OUTSIDE OF THAT FRAME (AND EVEN THOSE WHO REMAIN WITHIN)!!! I CAN MAKE IT ABOUT COMPULSORY HETEROSEXUALITY!!!! I KNOW YOU'RE AFRAID OF GIRLS MR KISHIMOTO WILL IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER IF I ALSO MAKE IT ABOUT NEJI WATCHING HINATA COMPLETELY REJECT HER CAGE AND DISCOVER HERSELF AND HOW HE FEELS ABOUT IT AND MAYBE JUST COVER YOUR EARS WHEN I START TALKING ABOUT EGGS!!!!!! MR KISHIMOTOOOOOO PLEEEEEEEASE

[captainjacklyn]

Can I make a request a headcanon of Riddle, Vil's, Jamil's and Azul's reaction to finding out that their romantic partner is a direct descendant of the Great Seven? (Like the ones who found and made their dorms?)

Male or Female Yuu/MC/Reader/Y/N please and thank you!

What a wonderful ask, my friend ! I apologize for making this so late, I hope that you will still enjoy reading these head canons if you are still out there. I'll be using gender neutral reader since I wanted everyone to enjoy it but if you wish for a male/female reader only, send in a request and I'll get right to it !

Pairing(s) : vil schoenheit x reader, jamil viper x reader, Azul ashengrotto x reader, riddle rosehearts x reader

Warning(s) : gn!reader, may have some cursing, they/them pronouns are used but gender isn't mentioned, reader is a merfolk in Azul's part (cause you know- Ursula is a mermaid..), also they act similar to their ancestors.

Jamil, Vil, Riddle and Azul finding out that their partner is a descendant of one of the great sevens :

Riddle Rosehearts

When Riddle first met you, he didn't think much of it. Sure you were quite commanding and respected the rules of his dorms very well (which he appreciated) but he just thought it was your personality and nothing more.

When he found you looking at the Queen of Heart's statue, he was surprised to see dissatisfaction on your face. You appeared a little bothered and as your partner he wished to make sure his s/o was alright.

"Is everything ok my Rose ? You seem a little out of your element."

"Ah Riddle, no I'm all good I'm simply thinking about certain things concerning my ancestor."

"Oh, and who are they ?"

"The one I'm looking at right now."

....

WhAt-

he wasn't expecting that, honestly, it feels like a bucket of ice got dropped on his head. Since she is seen in such a positive light in Night Raven College, he will start asking you about her.

"Oh she was a tyrannical queen, absolutely insane with no moral whatsoever. The only traditions we pass down in the family are the rules and leadership qualities, those are taught to the kids at a young age. I never admired her, not once. Sometimes rules didn't even need to be broken for her to cut someone's head off. If she was in front of me, breathing, at this exact moment I would give her a taste of her own medicine."

...

He didn't expect that, not once did he think of it that way. What was pictured to be a righteous royal turned out to be someone who beheaded people for a yes or a no.

It doesn't change what he thinks about you, you are your own person and what your ancestor did is unforgivable.

he's just stunned, and maybe a bit more proud of being your significant other.

Vil Schoenheit

You and Vil are the star couple of NRC, people literally turn blind when they look at the both of you. Dazzled with glam and beauty I swear to god-

He's glad he doesn't have to constantly shout at you for being reckless and ruining your eyeshadow. Not like some people

You were the perfect visual depiction of a queen/king/royal, I imagine you two walking down the school hallway and a red carpet spawns out of nowhere for the both of you to walk on.

Aphrodite has favorites.

You take good care of your appearance, no matter the special/ so called 'unusual' features you carry, you still manage to appear even more wonderful than the Fairest Queen herself.

Rook stalks you follows you around a lot. He would gush at you everyday as you sat in front of the mirror and prepared yourself for the day.

He does this to Vil as well and y'all consider this normal at this point. If you don't, then get prepared to be spooked all the time. Like...all the time.

"My my [Nickname], you look especially splendid today ! Not like you aren't usually, but you managed to make your beauty shine even more than it already was !"

"Well I am the Fairest Queen's great-great-great-great granddaughter/son/child after all."

"..."

"Pardon me."

"Where did that come from ? Orchidia was that in the script-"

Rook will tell Vil immediately, it isn't like it will affect your relationship in any way, he just thinks its a very interesting fact about you.

He may or may not flatter himself with it, but even if you weren't, your beauty does shine without an ancestor to prove it.

Jamil Viper

You are an amazing tactician, I mean, you were capable of coming up with a plan to stop kalim from burning down the dorm 10 days before it had the possibility of taking place.

And let's not ignore your persuasive abilities, you don't even need unique magic to have 200 students do what you want.

You and Jamil are one manipulative pair, but at least you have good morals. Kinda wishing you were there during the entirety of chapter 4 because it would have been over in one episode with no overblot happening at all.

Wether you scold him after finding out is your choice, but if it does happen don't be too harsh about it, his mind is little coo-coo at the moment.

So much that the only thing he catches you saying is :

"...And I don't want you turning into my great-great-great-great uncle simply because things didn't go your way. He was one manipulative and deceiving *sshole who I wish was never related to me at all. He was smart but for the wrong reasons, you are so much better than the sorcerer of sands Jamil ! I know it, and if anyone or anything is bothering you, I expect a full ranting session from your part-" "Wait you're related to the sorcerer of sands ?"

"...."

"Did you hear anything else about what I said ?"

"To be honest..."

"No."

Well that went well.

He is genuinely impressed and a little disappointed about the fact that the very man who represents his dorm is a huge traitor.

You're the one to talk- Lady Orchidia please calm down

He understands what you mean but his perception on Kalim won't change so if you're friends with the guy he stresses over everyday than you're gonna have to learn to live with it.

I repeat, it doesn't change your love for one another, except this time he'll be watching his back a little more. Knowing your advantage against him.

He's soft for you ngl

Azul Ashengrotto

Who are you and why are you so cute together-

Octopus lovers. Oh my god this is too much.

Orchidia you still need to finish the fanfic Shut your mouth and let me die, I finally found my reason to sleep forever.

You will probably have to be a mermaid/man/folk due to your origins but your appearance is your choice cause I'm too lazy to give you one also I have no idea what you look like.

You are once again amazing at convincing people into obeying your orders and both loves and fears your skill.

You are also is source of confidence and pride, if you can be happy in your original fish form than so can he (you just gotta tell him that often.)

He'll find out during a normal conversation where the two of you are in his office as he's arranging the contracts and listening to you talk about your day.

"Oh and did you know my family is related to the sea witch ? I know it's crazy to believe but-" "YOU'RE RELATED TO THE BENEVOLENT SEA WITCH ?!" "Yes...?" *runs up to you and shoves contract in your face* "Please marry me."

He is very happy and very excited, acting like a fan who gets to meet his idol for the first time in person.

He thought highly of you before, now it's through the stars. get it ? cause he thought highly of you ? damnit I suck at jokes.

He's willing to hear you talk about your ancestor for hours and hours, she is his role model after all.

Finds himself very lucky to be with you, even prior to your declaration. You two are just adorable- SQUISHY OCTOPUS !

[australianklaviergavin]

★ PINNED POST

Puff / Holmes / The Great Detective / whatever else ★ They / them (or she/her, nbd really) ★ Proud owner of the most insane Klavier headcanon(s) ★ This is a sideblog! ★ Associated with my friend @/purpleleavesday ★ Tagging "#dgs2 spoilers" ★ Critter masterpost ★ Ask about my minor character server!

I'm very chatty, so assorted trivia is below the Read More, as to not turn my bio into an eyesore. Will be updated as relevant. Asks are always appreciated!

Total time spent in the Attorney Mines...

When I say I've been enjoying these games since I was a kid, however it's a bit false to say I've been playing them that long. I've more been watching them be played, until now, as well as observing the lawyer yaoi on my dash. This series has been a massive part of my life for about as long as I can recall, I just... Didn't quite play them until recently. I'm new-ish but I feel like it's important to point out that I really have been here a while, in spirit.

Klavier headcanons..?

There's about two total, the one in my URL, and one I'm moreso sworn into secrecy over. The one in my URL is... It's very important to me. If you see Klavier on this blog, please read him in a goofy Australian accent. My brother does voice stuff, and when we were reading for Ace Attorney, he just turned Australian and I can't unhear it.

Sholmes kinning you..?

Yeah, so... He just like me. Same poses, same catchphrases, detective as a gender and not a profession, big yellow-ish coat. Most damningly, I do unfortunately represent myself through a funny little bunny, and have since I was a small child, and it's literally just the Sholmes bunny. I'm so serious and I could prove it. Most importantly, I've been doing all this for years. It's literally just how I act! And almost always have! What! I joke about kinning him (or, in this case, being kinned by him) but it's just in good fun.

You look familiar...

HI. YOU GOT ME. Yes, it's Puff, your silly rabbit and right hand arm man. Sorry to all my main blog oomfies to which I did NOT announce this to, but hi, enjoy your stay!

Dear fellow, what in the world is happening in your icon?

Gonna make this quick or I'm gonna start crying laughing again. I sometimes use 3D models as reference, and a friend was helping me clean / rig the Sholmes model rip I had and... When he sent me the file, he did something wrong by accident..? And Sholmes ended up looking SO joyous, but he strictly did NOT do that on purpose like I thought, so we both ended up crying real tears over it. Therefore, I'm using that as a base for my icon while I work on a better one.

Mutuals* can...

By mutuals, I mean followers, really, but feel free to ask for my main if you're unsure or otherwise reach out! I don't have a lot else going on (I started playing Ace Attorney because I'm too injured for my other hobbies so any distraction is very welcomed) and am willing to chat, as long as you don't mind the fact I'm maybe a little Insane :')

Tags to acquaint yourself with

I don't keep many, but my save tag is "#case notes", my catch-all art tag is "#the deduction of art", my tag for polls is "#I can’t make bricks without clay", my talking tag is "#a study in screaming", and my asks tag is "#consultations"! Will be updating this later as necessary

The banners...

First off! No interest in men. I like to make jokes, but they're just that! I've called Kazuma "dreamy" more times than I can recall, but legit I do not mean it outside an objective context. I don't mean to be needlessly hostile, but the second is to preemptively warn off weirdos! If you're going to be Nasty or Weird (especially about characters who are minors) then please see yourself out! If you're "proship" or whatever, I don't have much interest in welcoming you to my blog.

[nymph-ette111]

I’m happy to know you enjoy our interactions too and that you liked my little tangent there. I’m glad that you searched for accounts from actual people who have the disorder rather than pseudo-psychologists, because they are often the harshest without a shred of accuracy (just the way they talk about the narcissist’s eyes turning a demonic black is enough to make me exit the article).

To be fair, Quora is one of the worst places when it comes to accepting people with npd. So I’m glad you managed to find something that didn’t conclude in a pro-eugenics rant lead by a divorced dad who is certain his ex wife is a narcissist because she took the kids. And since I chose my first paper this school year to be about npd and gender (we could write about anything, it was to test our abilities in general), I had to go through a ton of those. They ranged from absolutely hilarious to restraining order worthy. Thankfully Google Scholar saved me from that (though I would never suggest reading studies upon studies on a topic for x reader headcanons, I’m only saying this to sort of validate where my understanding of it came from). Since, yk, it’s a relatively fresh thing (recognised since the 80s I believe) and the fact that I had a therapist who diagnosed me correctly and knew how to approach it is pure luck

Also just any dog metaphor is delightful but it fits so well with Toby too?? Like, it just feels so right when people do that. And I can genuinely see Jeff having some npd traits, good call^^

Ben is just so!!! He’s awful in the best way. I want to kiss him and also put him in a blender for fun :3 i want to drive him insane. And also hold hands maybe. Like, yeah, realistically I would lose my sanity if he liked me but he’s so fun

Also yeah, that’s why I like your blog so much. You don’t shy away from making them hard to be around, hurt, mean. All kinds of messed up but also fun to read about. That’s why I also said that they would probably have an easy time with hurting me mentally, bc if they were aware of just how paranoid I am they would absolutely do what I did in that friend example, only 10 times worse (like, specifically saying stuff they know gets a reaction out of me to force me to stay or do whatever). In all honesty, this might be just why I like creepypasta characters (especially this specific portrayal of them). I mean, it does fit into that type of ‚pleople may be nice but they are out to get you at all times so you need to act to survive’. It’s kind of a safe way to experience something that is both natural to me and also absolutely unsafe irl. Like, yeah, I would have to walk on eggshells to be with Toby but also that is the way I see any sort of relationship either way. Sometimes, I’m more uncomfortable with the pure fluff bc that feels fake and unnatural. On that note, Toby to me is so untreated-bpd coded

-⭐︎

Agreed Ben is so fucking stupid I want to gnaw on him and push him down the stairs, what a silly fella. You don't know how happy it made me when you said you liked my blog :') when I shared my first post I thought it wouldn't get any attention, and I would just end up deleting the blog all together so hearing someone actually enjoys these little headcanons I make about fictional serial killers is so nice <3

you said everything so perfectly I have nothing to add, and yes toby is fucking miserable any disorder he has is 100% untreated and yes I love him and yes I want him and—

[scattered-winter]

i would be very interested in your aro buck and aro eddie aus and headcanons!!! i am aspec myself, and i have been enjoying aspec buck and eddie takes in fic, but i almost never see them being aro. if you feel comfy sharing, i am all eyes 😍🌈❤️

the aro eddie hcs are more based in what I've seen in canon (because he's sooooooooo coded <33) and the aro buck hcs are more born from spite than anything else BUT I WILL HAPPILY TELL YOU ABOUT THEM<3

so the thing abt eddie is that bro is NOT interested in a relationship. pepa's trying to get him to date, but he's just really not into it. now one could read this in many ways, all equally valid, but I'm choosing to interpret this as him being more comfortable with not wanting a relationship. he keeps comparing the dates to what he had with shannon, as a kid. and he can't find anything like that as an adult so he's saying he's Waiting For The Right Person (when in reality what he had with shannon was probably idealized + romanticized because they were KIDS. they were kids and they both had more responsibility than they should have had to handle at that age and so I feel like eddie is very much looking through rose-colored lens when it comes to what he had with shannon.) and I'm not denying that they had anything, because it's soo clear that they loved each other a lot!!!!! this might be a hot take but I think one of the reasons why they fell apart the way they did was because of how much love was there. but that's something for another post. but regardless, eddie is using a romance he had as a kid to compare to the potential romances he could have as an adult. which to ME is very aro coded because there's this framework of What Romance Should Look Like that a lot of aro people try and make themselves fit into, at least at first. and idk there's something to be said for how much eddie loves his team and his kid and all the people in his life who he doesn't have any kind of romantic obligation to. it's only when there are expectations for A Romance To Develop where he starts getting cagey

and the whooole thing with ana just really highlights this because the ENTIRE time, eddie was focused purely on what ana brought to the table in terms of chris. chris needed someone to take care of him during the blackout, chris liked having ana over, chris needed another caregiver in his life that he loved and trusted, so clearly eddie needed to keep dating ana because she gave chris all of those things. and when eddie finally does come to terms with the fact that he's keeping ana at a distance because he doesn't feel the things he should feel about her, he breaks up with her, and has been reluctant to jump back into any relationships ever since.

and for buck, I'm always fascinated by characters who are overly sexual/romantic because in the rich inner world they're compensating for a lack of those feelings. so buck in my rich inner world is both aromantic and asexual, and the way he behaves (or USED to behave) is his way of trying to Cope With Being Different. he grew up in the amatonormative world we live in, where kids on the playground are teased about friends of the opposite gender because everyone knows you can't be friends with someone without having Attraction (sarcasm), and with the upbringing we knew he had from his parents (or lack thereof), I really think a kid on both the aro and ace spectrums surrounded by all that would lean all the way into the other direction to Compensate. his parents only gave him attention when he got hurt doing something reckless, and I think this is kind of the same flavor where he thinks if he has enough sex or has a deep and meaningful enough romantic relationship, he'll be Fixed. and idk. for buck it's more about the Vibes than anything else but eddie is sooooooo aro coded it makes me insane

anyway my ideal buddie is a qpr where they sort of blur the lines between Traditional Friendship and Traditional Romance (like they already do) and they never really consciously make a shift into Romance Territory because they don't need to!!! they're happy where they are!!!! they love each other and they're raising a kid together and if people want to try and fit them into a box that's their problem, not buddies'.

[bucky-at-bedtime]

Stucky Fic Recs

So basically I went through all of my ao3 bookmarks and collated a list of some of my favourites (I couldn't fit all of them on this list, so if anyone shows interest there might be a part two).

Please read tags and descriptions of the works before reading, some of them are pretty dark or extremely horny so just make sure you check that the fic is for you!!

Please please please send me your favourite fics in return! I am always happy to hear fic recs, headcanons and any other ideas/comments you all have!

Without any further ado, here are a few of my favourite Stucky fics:

‘Not Easily Conquered’ series by dropdeaddream, WhatAreFear

Rating: M, Words: 117,692

https://archiveofourown.org/series/115516

“I told you, you heard me: I told you never to follow me into Hell. Now I’m not vain enough to think that’s why you’re out here now — if there’s any person in what’s left of this God forsaken planet who’s part of a bigger picture, it’d be you. But I’ll keep saying it until it sticks. You got nothing to prove. I’m not worth much, I damn well know that, but I’ll ask you anyway: Stay for me. If you leave me alone in this world I’ll turn into something terrible. I’ll turn into the nasty creature that’s growing inside me. This war, it’ll swallow me whole”

[To me, this fic is like the classic Stucky 101 fanfic – if you're a Stucky fan and you haven't read this, I highly recommend it. The authors explore the Steve/Bucky relationship in such an interesting, tragic, emotive way and I cry every time I read it. I couldn't praise this work enough.]

‘Ain’t No Grave’ series by spitandvinegar

Rating: M-E, Words: 131,789

https://archiveofourown.org/series/426577

"Yeah, he never calls me by my name," Steve says. "It's always champ, ace, hotshot, that kinda thing."

"Man, that is flirting," Sam says. "That nicknames thing, he is flirting with you. He's just working his way up to calling you baby or something."

Steve goes redder than a damn coke can. Sam pumps his fist. "Yes, I am so right, I am wise as hell. He did, didn't he?"

"He called me sweetheart," Steve says grimly, "because he's a drug addict with brain damage."

"Or because he looooooves you," Sam says. Captain America throws a cookie at his head. Sam eats it, because he deserves a treat for being so damn wise.”

[I'm currently re-reading this fic and absolutely loving it. The way spitandvinegar writes Bucky's road towards recovery and Steve's entire characterisation – it's all just so good. It's another one that covers some pretty dark themes, so make sure you're checkin those tags!]

'Einherjar' by thecommodore_squid

Rating: M, Words: 71297

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7157024/chapters/16249814

But Steve was fine.

Sure, he hadn’t seen Bucky in months, and sometimes he was at the punching bag so long that his skin started to peel off to expose the bones of his fingers, and sometimes he couldn’t find the energy to drag himself out of bed, and sometimes he went weeks without sleeping, and sometimes he thought about throwing himself head-first off the nearest tall structure, but he was fine.

He was absolutely, perfectly, one-hundred percent, fucking fine.

AKA In which Steve learns how to deal with his shit, and Bucky learns how to stop leaving.

[basically the definition of a recovery fic, I absolutely adore it. This is tragic and amazing and makes me cry and smile. It’s got a bunch of fantastic cameos and It really just ticks so many of my boxes.]

‘Like real People do’ by 2bestfriends

Rating: E, Words: 67,775

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19887376/chapters/47103217

“"Ask me what?" demands Bucky. "I didn't hear a question."

Steve licks his lips. "Will you stay with me? Will you come back home, Buck?"

"Home," repeats Bucky in a small voice, and then he's crying for real.”

[Basically soft lumberjack!steve and lonely twink!bucky being horny and in love. This is a comfort fic for that’s really just about my favourite boys falling in love.]

‘This City Bleeds it’s Aching Heart’ by anonymous

Rating: E, Words: 34,537

https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829/chapters/1591736

“The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.”

[The plot in this one is just a good time and i think it’s just a really fun take on the fake relationship trope. Also some really great characterisation.]

‘Home is Wherever I’m With You’ by cydonic

Rating: E, Words: 88,570

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18868081/chapters/44783077

“Bucky kisses Steve and Emma goodbye before they leave for school, which is why – partway down the road – Amelia turns to him and asks, “why are you and Daddy kissing?”

Which is definitely a conversation Bucky’s been expecting since Steve just did it, but it still takes him by surprise. Again, he thinks he should wait for Steve, but Amelia’s not the sort of kid to let anything rest. Plus, Bucky’s taking her to school where she will undoubtedly share the story with anyone who’ll listen.

He also stops to think that Steve’s asked him to stay, which means Bucky must be trusted with their happiness and well-being, at least in some small capacity.

Bucky clears his throat and searches for some explanation that will help Amelia make sense of this sudden turn of events. “Because we love each other,” is all he comes up with.”

[Bear with me, this is a House Flipper!Bucky Au. And dad!Steve. I just love a found family trope I’m not gonna lie to you. Another comfort fic that warms my lil heart.]

‘Lucky Seven’ by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves)

Rating: E, Words: 94,364

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7033105/chapters/16002481

“Back from where--?” James says, the sentence ending in a distinctly undignified squawk as Steve sweeps him up in his arms, bridal-style, and starts carrying him upstairs.

James tenses momentarily then relaxes into Steve's arms and throws back his head and starts laughing. The laughter peals out of him, his body shaking, his amusement occasionally broken by little gasps of pain.

“What's so funny?” Steve frowns.

“You are,” James says, still giggling. “You're ridiculous, Steve Rogers.”

“Behave. Or I will drop you,” Steve growls.

[The shrunkyclunks modern AU of my dreams featuring Mechanic!Bucky and cap!Steve and some really beautiful writing.]

'Dishonor On Your Cow' by mandarou

Rating: E, Words: 111695

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659162/chapters/23589582

“Sergeant Barnes?”

“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

[I’m not gonna lie it took me a minute to get into this one but by the end I was crying with them, laughing with them, and just really in my feels. Some very insane things happen so here’s a few of my favourite tags: ‘Seargent Barnes is done with your Shit Steve’, ‘blatant disrespect of a man’s motorcycle’, ‘Steve you ding dong’ and ‘PR nightmares in the form of Supersoldiers’.]

Propietary Information by Notlucy

Rating: E, Words: 85141

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964402/chapters/27054777

“Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.”

[We were never gonna get through this list without a Sugar Daddy!AU (I have a weakness). This one is… saucy and sexy and sweet and uh pretty kinky so read the tags and all. I’ve read it a few times, and I love the way the author has written Steve in this one, he just makes my heart go '!!!']

‘Roots Have Grown’ by AustinB

Rating: M, Words: 17280

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6912451/chapters/15767941

“Bucky is a mildly agoraphobic veteran with funds to spare, who becomes enamored with the cute blonde guy in his building.

So when Steve mentions needing a roommate to cut down on rent costs, Bucky decides it would be a good idea to volunteer.”

[Another weakness of mine is Roommate AUs, and this one is phenomenal. I tend to go for post serum!Steve stories more often, but this is a pre-serum Steve that I just adore.]

‘The Cold Never Bothered me Anyway’ by icoulddothisallday

Rating: E, Words:75562

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728869/chapters/26425530

“Bucky Barnes has spent his whole life in a state of mild hypothermia. Steve Rogers has spent the last 70 years in the ice. The two things aren’t related until, suddenly, they are. Shrunkyclunks soulmate AU (AKA the awkward bb au).”

[I think this is the only soulmate AU in my bookmarks? I would totally be down to read more though! This one is really fun and really enjoy Bucky’s characterisation here!]

'War, Children' by Nonymos

Rating: E, Words: 106615

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373050/chapters/12409394

“After Bucky was released from the hospital, it only took him a couple of weeks to give up on himself. Difficult to believe in any kind of future when the simple act of staying alive was almost too big an effort.

Out the frosted window, across the street, there was a tiny homeless guy burrowing under an awning.”

[An interesting exploration of Bucky’s PTSD with a trans!Steve which was a cool take on his character too!]

'The Company You Keep' by orbingarrow

Rating: G, Words: 51191

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3468605/chapters/7613072

“Hurt, hungry, and on the run, the Winter Soldier doesn’t have a lot of safe options to go to for help. Figuring that any friend of Captain Steve Rogers is unlikely to be HYDRA, Bucky takes a chance and reaches out to the first Avenger he can find.

It works out better than anyone could have expected. Eventually.”

[hurt/comfort, recovering Bucky, protective Steve, found family and domestic avengers, need I say more? I absolutely loved this one]

[k-shitposts]

So I have been enjoying 4KOTA and wanna put my predications down below:

Lancelot is sin. I mean, come on guys, Fox motif and saw a vision of a bride that was mentioned by Arthur?

Tristan is gonna look different from his dad as an adult. Mainly cause Percival is the short one of the group and there can’t be two lmao.

I think Lancelot and Tristan aren’t gonna get along as much as Ban and Meliodas did - think actually rivalry.

Klaines kid is gonna be Morgana. Mainly cause we haven’t seen her yet so I don’t think she’ll be Arthur’s sister. Also Morgana was known as Morgana le fey which translates to Morgana the Fairy so….

Would be cool design wise to have a grown ass looking 15 year old who looks like Diane but super lazy as well so that’s why I want Klaines kid to be a girl.

Saw a couple of people talking about Nascien being a girl, glad I am not the only one on that train.

Considering how Nascien has some hints of a mysterious origin story in addition to a secret (if your a girl why hide it??) I think Nascien might be linked to Camelot or Arthur somehow.

Weird that Arthur waited 16 years for a bride. Makes me think that it was either prophesied or some reincarnation stuff was involved.

If so it’d be a cool parallel to Meliodas who didn’t resent anyone or become too self destructive when Elizabeth kept dying. Then Arthur experienced it once and was like “fuck this imma commit a genocide”.

Look all I am saying is that I don’t think it’d would’ve taken Arthur 16 years to kill off everyone who isn’t humankind. Unless Nakaba explains that plot hole.

Klaines kid is besties with Lancelot and is helping him - hence why he refered to them as his forest friends.

Galahad probs gonna be the last knight but like I said I don’t think he’ll be a SD7 kid. Think he could be a Druid or something else.

Unlike Anne, Lancelot doesn’t like reading hearts cause he knows the stress it causes people to feel like someone is seeing your true intentions.

The knights of the round table were all good people but due to the horrors of the Holy war and watching all their comrades die they have hatred towards demons and the SD7.

Story will go on and reveal that a majority of humans hatred towards demons has worsen since the holy war. Humans will as to some extent hate other species due to believing that giants/fairies/other were in their own realms and not helping vulnerable humans evacuate during the war.��

Reminder that in the story not all humans will know the true extent of the holy war from 1000 years ago and the recent. So some humans will believe that it’s the SD7 fault for opening the seal.

Even if they knew some of the story of how the seal broke (possessed Hendrickson), they will still blame the fact that they let a demon open the seal/ 7DS failed to notice.

Point is that not everyone sees the sins as heroes of the war due to the insane loss of life.

Anne’s mum, Ironsides and Percy gramps rebelled against Arthur but all three face consequences for doing so.

Ironsides lost his emotions as consequence? Or his capability to love.

When Arthur meets Percy it’s going to be in a busy setting and Percy won’t know it’s Arthur. They get along extremely well.

I think it’d be interesting to make Arthur really likeable and charismatic towards 4KOTA so they feel weird wanting to defeat him.

Nascien is going to face his feeling for Percy and promptly get his heart broken when he sees Percy and Anne fall for each other. (Personally don’t want this to be true but…)

Donny is gonna end up with someone in contrast to Howzier lmao.

Tristan character arc is realising he’s not the main character.

Donny, Tristian and Percy share one brain cell.

Despite being able to hold his drink well, Lancelot always loses to Nascien.

That’s it! If you want a part 2 or more (probs headcanons at that point), let me know. Really gonna be making some wild theories on some points I’ve made…

[petitommo]

re: (not so) small rant about Theo, Liam and season six of Teen Wolf

(original post by @livingbythewords, you can find it linked here. i originally wanted to reply to the post, but replies are turned off. i’d reblog it, but it’s pretty long, so i wanted people to get to choose whether or not they wanted to read it...)

i saw this post in the liam tag when i woke up yesterday, and i kept sporadically thinking about it and discussing it with people (and in my own head), and i definitely have some thoughts about it, not gonna lie... still, as i said, absolutely feel free to ignore this if this ain’t your cup of tea at all, but if you wanna hear my thoughts about 1. livingforthewords’ post and 2. theo, liam and season six of teen wolf, feel free to look under the line break :)

(i’ll be posting some of the lines from the original post for context to what i’m saying, but if you do wanna read my answer, i recommend reading the original post as well! let me also preface this by saying this is in no way meant as hate towards the creator, sceo as a ship, or scott mccall as a character. i found some parts of this post had traces of what i’d consider to be a harmful way of thinking about fandom and shipping, and i wanted to adress it.)

the post mentions early one that liam brings theo back to use him, and that as soon as he finds out theo no longer has josh and tracy’s abilites, he wants to send him back. that the only reason he doesn’t is because theo remembers stiles. with this, you say that you see thiam shippers claim that liam does it from the goodness of his heart.

personally, i’ve never seen claims that that was the reason liam did it. i have, however, seen (and personally think this myself) that theo coming back from the hell he’s been put in by the hands of liam, might make theo quick to develop a bond or feeling of gratitude towards liam. there’s no doubt in my mind that theo understands why liam did it — but even then, it still got him out of there. in canon, no other pack member but liam even entertained the idea of getting theo back — i think theo is very aware of this, as well — which in itself automatically makes liam the safest pack member for theo to latch onto, from the get go.

Liam distrusts and despises Theo – and it never changes throughout the course of the show.

again, with the basis of liam and theo’s developing aquaintance in season six (heavily conveyed through non verbal communication - both in the form of touches/glances/body language and the things written between the lines; the things not specifically worded, but definitely said through their dialogue), there’s a lot that can be up for interpretation.

when i watched the show, i saw two characters who, yes, clearly had a shared hatred towards each other, learn how to work together and develop a tentative trust (that only grew throughout the season). i saw two characters that shouldn’t work together, work together insanely well, to the point where no verbal communication was strictly necessary.

my point is, thiam as a ship is heavily influenced by interpretation of what you see in their dynamic, and i find it troublesome that you look at other people’s interpretation and publicly say;

However, shipping someone and having fun with it is not the same as twisting into knots to try to prove that canon supports something, when it doesn’t.

especially when you follow this up by saying;

Yes, there is a person who acknowledges that Theo has changed. Who trusts and supports him even when they have no reason to. Who is always there for him and tries to treat him fairly even after being incredibly hurt and betrayed.

But that person isn’t Liam.

because you and i watched the same show, and we clearly have majorly different interpretations of season six; of theo’s relationship with people post-hell; of liam dunbar as a character.

however, i am not gonna claim that you’re wrong, and i’m right. your interpretation is entirely different from mine — and yes, based on what i saw, i do personally think you’re wrong, but here’s the thing; i understand that interpretation of this is just that; interpretation. theo isn’t canonically linked with anyone, therefore i cannot say that thiam is right and sceo is wrong — even as that’s my personal view of it.

back to the theo and liam and thiam shippers adressed in this post;

i want to preface my response to this with the fact that i myself have been/are in healthy BDSM dynamics. i have also jokingly said that theo ‘probably enjoyed it’. i have online friends who have joked about theo enjoying it. and here’s the thing; none of the people i know seriously think theo, in that exact setting, enjoyed it.

a great thing about fandom and shipping is the exploration and discovery of one’s own sexuality. we often talk about it openly; we discuss it with people, we’re ‘horny on main’, we learn from fellow shippers, we read fanfiction. we joke around with stuff.

there’s no doubt in my mind that people do not think theo raeken got pulled back from hell, chained up and forced to follow liam and hayden around, and actually enjoyed it at that moment. however, can i personally see theo as a character that would enjoy being chained up in other situations? yes. a lot of us do. and so we joke about it.

joking about certain aspects of a BDSM relationship when you’re looking at/reblogging things from canon does not undermine how important a proper and healthy BDSM dynamic is.

the post also touches on theo being a traumatized kid with unhealthy coping mechanisms. this is, without a doubt, the core of theo as a character. however, by putting it in the context of why it’s wrong to joke about him being a sub/rope bunny, feels so misplaced to me. a lot of kinks develop from the trauma we have (talking from experience). a lot of kinks develop at — seemingly — random (talking from experience). being traumatized doesn’t automatically mean we develop kinks, sure, but it also doesn’t mean we do not develop kinks.

without a doubt - chaining him up and dragging him behind them was not a kind thing to do; i don’t think anyone disagrees with that. but at the end of the day, these are characters. theo is a character we’ve barely gotten to know, especially post-hell theo, so he develops in our mind, we have headcanons, we think of personality traits that weren’t shown in canon. some of those pertain to his sexuality, and that’s okay.

this also pertains to your gripe with people looking at canonical depictions of thiam and seeing it as love. again, even in the thiam shipping part of fandom, we have majorly different interpretations of certain scenes, and that’s okay. i’ve touched upon the importance of acknowledging that thiam as a canonically hinted at couple is all up for personal interpretation of their canonical depiction; this also means that people will see things very differently.

the original post was mainly aimed at theo and liam as a ship, so i won’t get into the comments about liam as a character that much, but i will say this;

even you yourself mention that liam absolutely has reason to resent theo. but, you go on to claim that liam doesn’t have as much reason for resentment as other characters.

liam might not have been personally wronged by theo in season five as much as other characters, i will agree with that. but, he did watch theo’s actions and influence in the things done to mason, to hayden, to scott. all people he loved. this, in itself, is reason enough to build resentment towards a person.

it’s also important to remember that theo lessened liam in his mind to the beta with anger issues, stripped away every complex part of liam and simplified him into this one trait that liam himself has struggled with and tried to distance himself away from.

liam struggling with being depicted as a monster — pre supernatural; because of IED, supernatural; as a werewolf — has been canonically shown so many times. it’s gotten us the line of «you’re not a monster. you’re a werewolf, like me.». we’ve been showed, time and time again, that liam has a complexity within him that is constantly undermined — by brett, by stiles, and yes; by season 5 theo.

sadly, i also see liam simplified and put into the box of beta with anger issues by the fandom. this also, from what i’ve read on your blog and from statements about liam in this post, includes you.

how does that change in season six? let’s get back to the claim at the start of this post; of thism shippers claiming liam is the only one who trusts and supports theo, and look at it this way; theo — previous homicidal maniac out to ruin the pack (put simply; we’re both theo apologists, we know there’s more to him than that) — is one of the first people to look at liam’s anger and not let it be his only character trait.

the post mentions glances in the truck scene; this is what the truck scene (in my mind) is really about. theo acknowledges — even if not explicitly stated — that the anuk-ite’s ability to raise fear in people, raises anger in liam. he sees that liam’s anger is a direct consequence of the anuk-ite; he sees that the fear instilled in liam translates into anger; because of IED. this lets liam be a character that has IED, instead of just liam - the angry character.

this, again, is my interpretation of this scene. you might not have seen it that way. once again proving that this is a ship based on interpretation.

claiming that interpreting scenes is twisting canon until it fits your idea of it, is such a harmful way of looking at shipping. i have never interpreted anything romantic between scott and theo in canon, and could, in turn, claim that you twist canon until it fits what you want. but i’m not going to, because your interpretation of things doesn’t have to fit mine.

you can’t write a rant about thiam as a ship, state that you don’t want to tell anyone who to ship and that certain ships are wrong, and then undermine every interpretation anyone has had about liam and theo as a ship.

we’ve all seen the same season of teen wolf, we’ve all seen the exact same scenes (there are no version of the show you watched); but we’re all very different people. we interpret things very differently.

AND THAT IS OKAY.

do not undermine people’s ship. if you hate thiam, just stay away from it. don’t expose yourself to it. ignore it for all it’s worth.

it’s that easy.

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 17: 3x07 Day of the Dove

I am incredibly discombobulated today—usual weekend nocturnal shenanigans I guess! Anyway it’s somehow midnight. Gonna try to write up these note on the Classic episode The Day of the Dove in as efficient a manner as possible.

Hmm, a planet with wavy pink Fraggle plants. I like it already.

But where is Spock? Very suspicious.

I really appreciate Kirk giving a little speech to set up the overall question/issue for us. (I know he does this all the time with the Captain’s logs but this is out loud and so… more obviously expository.)

Oh no, it’s our old friends…the Klingons.

I will admit that this ONE TIME, the Klingon is being reasonable. Like, it is reasonable to think that Kirk and the Enterprise attacked his ship, given that his hip WAS attacked, and who else would it be?

Three years of peace between the Klingons and the Federation? That is inclusive of the show so all this tension must technically be “peace” and also implies there was something more like a direct war going on, like, right before Kirk got the captaincy.

Zoolander voice: What is this, a colony of the INVISIBLE?

“We have no devil. But we understand the habits of yours.”

No takers? No takers on the torture? No volunteers to be mercilessly tortured by the Klingons?

Star Trek Beyond could have had Kirk and Chekov bond over being brothers! I mean, to other people.

They’ll kill 100 hostages at the first sign of treachery. He does know there are only 400-some people on the ship right? Maybe you should pace yourself, Kang.

Kirk’s so badass he needs MULTIPLE guns trained on him just to use the phone.

Oh-ho secret message to Spock. Which version of the iPhone will be capable of doing THAT?

The Klingons are “suspended in transit” is an awfully nice way of saying they’re just dematerialized atoms in space. Philosophy major and/or Bones nightmare fuel.

How did Kang not see this coming, by the way? Like, he just says “I’m taking your ship now, me and my 6 men versus your 400-some men, and I’ll do this by simply declaring it to be so. Now let’s beam up to your ship, where I’ll be greatly outnumbered, and there are armed security guards all around me.” Guess he’s been reading The Secret!

WIFE AND SCIENCE OFFICER

Aka the most important part of this whole episode.

Kirk’s face is very ?????? You can have both????

It’s legitimately not even important for her to be the science officer tbqh. Like that is so gratuitous. That’s just in there to drive me insane.

"We're prisoners, somehow, after I demanded to come on the ship, assuming they'd just give it to me without any kind of fight. How DID this happen?”

Federation death camps lol—someone’s been watching Fox News.

I do kind of wonder… is this an actual rumor that goes around the Klingon homeworld or is it something that the alien entity put in her head specifically to make her angrier right now? I mean it really could be either.

I also appreciate this episode for being pretty much the only one to actually attempt to give the Klingons a reason for being as they are. The Romulans… maybe aren’t well-described, but they do have a sort of regalness to them, appropriate for being related to Vulcans, and you can kind of imagine that they are the way they are because they’re Vulcans without the intense self-control. Plus they’re literally only in 2 TOS eps and in the second, the Federation are the aggressors. But the Klingons show up a half-dozen times only to be depicted each time as just like Cartoonishly Bad, aggressive, violent, and selfish for basically no reason. And I mean, some people really are!! But TOS has so much nuance in other places, that it always seemed a little disappointing to me that the Klingons are really just like ‘well we’re just bad and we hate everyone and we really like killing I guess.” At least in this ep there’s a little more added to that: that there is poverty on their world, that they feel aggrieved, that they feel unprotected, that taking and conquering is how they look after themselves…

I think that’s later in the episode though.

He’s detaining them in the LOUNGE lol. With their favorite dishes available to them to eat. Absolutely barbarous conditions.

I can’t believe Chekov is hanging in the elevator with the cool kids. Like, one of these things really isn’t like the others.

Kang is officially sure of himself for someone currently imprisoned in the lounge, that most fearsome of Federation death camps.

Hmm, could the glittery light alien have taken over??

You know what, that's a lot of tasks for Johnson to do all by himself: search the whole ship, fix the engines, and free 400 people.

Sulu would love this: everyone gets a sword!!

“Bridge. I gotta show this to Sulu immediately.”

Klingons have maintained a dueling tradition. That’s interesting. Finally some characterization going on.

Spock is really living up to his logical nature today. Everyone else has gone off the emotional deep end and he’s like “have you considered this completely rational explanation that accounts for the actual, observed facts??”

Whoops Chekov is actually an only child. Scratch that previous Beyond headcanon. (Interesting that his dead brother does really resemble Sam though—killed on a research colony??)

Love that Sulu knows that about him though.

Oh, that’s a pretty schematic picture of the Enterprise. I want that on a t-shirt.

Lol the pan out to the armory, now filled with… swords!!

Do ALL of these men have a fetish for swords? Sulu and fencing, Spock displaying swords in his quarters, and Kirk in his San Francisco apartment, and Scotty salivating over this Scottish blade.

“Klingon units.”

Finally Sulu gets his sword! It’s what he deserves.

Love that the shiny light alien also has a fetish for swords.

Oh no, it’s our old adversary, an alien life force.

What is the alien’s purpose? Um, I’m pretty sure its purpose is to start shit.

“An appropriate choice of terms, Captain.” I don’t even remember what this is referring to but I think it’s pretty clear that Spock is enjoying himself during a crisis again.

Bones, being so dramatic. Were there atrocities? He’s talking about the Klingons as if they were literally hacking off limbs—it’s a few stab wounds here and there, chill.

Oooh, time to behave like military men—strong words. (But I thought it wasn’t the military?? @ S**** P****) (This might not even be my best argument, given the context of this episode, but I’m sticking with it.)

This is like a giant game of capture the flag.

AU that’s just about the Enterprise crew playing capture the flag with the Klingons.

Sulu in the background standing guard with his sword

Damn, turning on Spock with the slurs now!!

Spock was absolutely ready to kill him. Like he would 100% have taken him out with a blow to the head. And he’d been doing such a good job of not feeling the alien’s effects so far! Admittedly, that was a strong provocation though.

Honestly, I really like this scene. It’s uncomfortable and tense and you can really see how the alien is bringing out the worst possible influences of their respective races. And I liked how Spock was definitely full on pre-Reform Vulcan for a minute there. It was a more effective portrayal of what that might have looked like than All Our Yesterdays tbqh.

A result of… stress?

Kirk got himself out of it first. He’s so strong. He knows himself so well, he cannot be outsmarted by any alien.

“We’ve been taught to think in terms other than war.”

“The alien brings out the worst of us—patriotic drumbeating…even race hatred.”

He’s so sad; he can’t imagine thinking like that about Spock :(

Sulu in a Jeffries tube! A man of many talents. It’s okay bb, take credit for turning on the lights.

The alien must have been getting bored. The Klingons must have been doing too well, and the playing field needs to be leveled for maximum shit-stirring.

“Let’s find that alien.” That’s how I ALWAYS feel.

Oh, Kang, you’re so close—“What power supports our battle but thwarts our victory.” So, so close to getting it.

ALIEN DETECTED.

Spock takes his sword, of course.

“Jim.” Obligatory Jim moments hit differently when they’re not so obligatory.

“Jim—stop hitting my protégé. And put that sword down.”

Kirk looks so sad, picking Chekov up to carry him bridal style.

Also in addition to ‘race hatred’ I think we need to add ‘rape-y tendances’ to the bad stuff that the alien is inspiring here.

“A brief surge of racial bigotry. Most distasteful.” Spock winning for understatement of the year.

They're assuming the alien is trying to test out their relative powers but I think it just wants entertainment. I mean, doesn’t it look like a naughty little thing?

Mara’s outfit is… little shorts? Interesting. Usually not my style but she makes it work.

Spock doesn’t even look at Johnson as he falls lol. Another one bites the dust.

“It exists on the hate of others.”

What does this remind me of? Oh, the Vast of Night and the whole “aliens made us do every bad thing ever” conspiracy theory. At least this one makes more sense, in part because it is not quite so overwhelmingly broad!

All hostile attitudes must be eliminated, he says, and there's Mara right behind Kirk giving him a death stare lol.

Kang is so obviously posing. Google Earth, always taking pictures.

Only a few minutes before drifting forever in space becomes inevitable? Good thing Kirk works well under pressure.

“Well… do whatever you can, Scotty. You know the drill.” Doesn’t even bother giving real directions anymore. We’ve been in this scenario before.

“So we drift in space, with only hatred and bloodshed aboard.”

And the 392 people below just get to…live in Enterprise prison, I guess.

Star date: Armageddon. So dramatic!

I’m not even making that up; that’s an actual quote. Can you imagine being an Admiral listening to this?

“Stop the war now.” An actual line, really aired on television.

Spock wants to threaten the wife lol. That's the old pre-Reform Vulcan seeping through. Surak who?

Damn, Kang is cold. “Eh, she gets the concept of being killed in battle.” They’re gonna need marriage counseling after this.

“There is another way. Mutual trust and help.” Yes that’s my hero!!

“No one can guarantee the actions of another.” Can’t remember the context of this entirely anymore, but great line.

The entity is loving this—multi-person choreographed sword fight!!

"Those who hate and fight must stop themselves. otherwise it is not stopped.” Another baller line. Spock has a lot of deep thoughts today. And so does Kirk. And Kang.

Kirk tries to reason with the alien. Nice try.

“Shoo. Shoo, alien. Off the ship, go away.”

Omg that last moment—Kang slapping Kirk’s back way too hard, Spock’s completely ridiculous wide-eyed expression when he does, like some sort of combo of amusement and confusion, and then Sulu just passing on by in the background….

Then the alien just yeets itself into space. And that’s the end!

Always feels weird when there’s no wrap up on the bridge.

Also, what are they going to do with the Klingons? They have no ship. They really did come out of this a lot worse than Kirk and co. No ship, huge casualties—and no one to blame even, but the alien.

I feel like the alien messed up a little in killing so many Klingons. Like, it could have accomplished its purpose, angering the Klingons and turning them on Kirk, by attacking the ship a little less violently—you know they’d react to 5 deaths pretty much the same as 400, and then there would be many more people to fight forever and produce that sweet sweet anger!

Maybe the alien’s powers aren’t strong enough to influence 800 people though. Also it wants equal forces and 800 people wouldn’t fit on the Enterprise, one assumes. So it still makes sense.

That was, of course, an excellent episode. 100% agree with is classic status, even though the main things I remembered going in were the wife + science officer bit, and everyone laughing at the end in a really forced, fake way, in order to make the alien go away.

I thought the Klingons were a lot better/more interesting today than usual. First, I think Kang is a better character, or a better actor maybe, than the others; he has a certain way about him that is… more watchable, more sympathetic. And he’s always saying these really dramatic things that make it seem likely he writes patriotic Klingon war poetry in his off time. Also, including his wife made them seem more… not human obviously, but normal. Not just cardboard cut-out villains. And of course the actual lightly specific motivations I earlier mentioned helped too.

Also, the plotting was very good: it built up slowly but surely over time, so at first the alien’s influence wasn’t that obvious, and then it became more so, and then it became horrifically obvious and extreme. And then you had to re-evaluate earlier moments: was that the alien changing facts in their heads, or a real part of the animosity between humans and Klingons? And it wasn’t always clear, which I appreciated. The tension when the people were at their worst wasn’t overdone, like in that moment with Scotty, Spock, and Kirk—or even in Chekov’s assault on Mara, tbh. The various strategies of the different sides were very entertaining too; there was never a dull moment, and they fit in a lot of straight-up actions and twists into 50 minutes.

The possible threat was truly terrifying, also: stuck in a space ship, forever, unable to die, feeling the worst possible emotions all the time, besieged, angered, despairing, fighting a war that can’t be won, being injured and suffering only to recover and fight again, and it never stops… A perfect nightmare mixture of insanity and violence and pain. And the alien, in encouraging hatred and anger, doesn’t discriminate between sides: they turn on each other just as much as on the Klingons, breeding paranoia and infighting. For eternity.

The episode also felt much more strongly anti-war than I remember tbh. Like it was not subtle. Kirk literally says “stop the war” in so many words. He has a part in his speech where he talks about the possibility of other aliens out there, encouraging other wars. And while I do think “maybe the aliens are making us do it” is a cop out explanation, or would be if it were real, the scenario gave the show a lot of room to say, like, pretty ballsy things: to include “patriotic drum beating” along with “race hatred” in a list of corrupting feelings they were experiencing; to show how the same instincts that lead to warring also lead to sexual assault and the aforementioned ‘race hatred;” to reveal the true horror of an endless war by making the participants unkillable and sticking them in a singular space ship in the middle of nowhere; to imply that the combatants of war gain nothing from it, but outside or third-party entities will pull strings of their own design to profit from the conflict as long as possible; even to make an impassioned plea to camera to stop the endlessness of the conflict. Like I can’t even totally unpack this but it is a lot!

Finally, it was also a great Kirk episode, which of course is my most important factor. He’s smart; he’s strong; he’s so sure of himself and his values that he cannot be manipulated to mindless hatred, he represents the values of the Federation, and the show itself; he treats even his enemies with basic respect and humanity; and ultimately, he saves the day.

Okay I was not efficient in writing this up at all! It is very late!!

[svtskneecaps]

Rules: answer questions and tag blogs you are contractually obligated to know better!

so @kwonthefire tagged me thank u for giving me an excuse to talk about myself you KNOW i will jump on that shit with absolutely no hesitation you’re incredible

Name/nickname: vic

Gender: woman babey

Star sign: cancer

Height : HAHA TALLER THAN MY OLDER SIBLING S H O R T  L M A O

Time: 5:50 am don’t tell my friends i’m going to bed when i post this i swear

Birthday: july

Favourite bands: seventeen, and i vibe to like, panic!, twice, does the cast of newsies count as a band?

Favourite soloists: listen i’ll vibe to anybody with solid lyrics or a good melody so like, halsey, carrie underwood, taylor swift has been a big one recently, anna nalik, miranda lambert, yknow. all the shit i listened to like six years ago has returned to my playlist cause i’m Stressed tm (ngl the house that built me came on and i actually started crying in the middle of making enchiladas w my entire family like i went straight from DOUBLE BUBBLE DISCO QUEEN to sobbing in the sauce)

i mean not actually the sauce you know what i mean

Last movie: ah shit probably like. pollyanna or something. NO WAIT IT WAS THAT FUCKIN SECOND BORN ROYALS MOVIE ON DISNEY+ THAT MY FAMILY WATCHED WHILE SORTING ALL THE OLD CLOTHES WE DON’T FIT ANYMORE

Last show: shit uhh i think it was like. the three caballeros yknow that animated series with donald duck it’s on disney+. unless we count my mom’s episodes of criminal minds that she watches in the room next to me

Song stuck in my head: an absolutely bizarre combination of that “she’s a wh*re” song clip from tik tok, “the world will know” from newsies, the rock violin cover of the phantom of the opera from the umbrella academy, and like. the twelve days of christmas as sung by straight no chaser, specifically the section where they start doing africa. i don’t know what’s going on either.

When I created this blog: idk a while ago. like three years? four years?

Last thing I googled: ah shit. probably something for premiere pro, adobe software sucks it’s the least intuitive shit i have ever used literally the program i used to write in java worked easier than fucking premiere pro

Other blogs: @ismyreadinglistgoodenoughforyou and i have a couple more but those are classified by order of [redacted]. i can reblog onto @tctwriters but that’s not technically mine it’s OURS anyway follow tctwriters

Do I get asks: nah dude which sux cause my favorite thing to talk about is me l m a o

Why I chose my url: dude i don’t remember i wanted to rebrand from the god awful ‘ismycapsloudenoughforyou’ so i think we went, ok, so seventeen. svt. and my discord status was probably “stop bullying jeonghan’s knee >:(” so they were like, ok knees. and i went ah SHIT, KNEECAPS and then i just. did that.

Following : my guy do you think i know

Followers : like a graduating class worth

Lucky numbers: idk like 12 and 7 and maybe 32

Avg hours of sleep: o jesus well uh. anywhere between 4 and 12 it depends on if i have something to do the next day

Instruments: i can play viola and some flute, i’ve briefly dabbled in piano, ukulele, harmonica, and accordion

What I’m wearing right now: haha state football merch and socks that clash very drastically bc it’s goddamn cold in my house fuck

Dream trip: honestly any trip is my dream trip as long as a couple specific people come. like literally a trip to the grocery store could be my dream trip as long as these specific people are there yknow. people make the trip more than the actual places, for me

Favourite food: o i forgot to answer this one uhhh dr pepper isn’t a food but i don’t eat and my veins run with the stuff

Nationality: american ahaha

Favourite song: ah shit dude it depends on my mood i can’t answer this rn i literally just got “WILL WE LET EM STUFF THIS CROCK O’ GARBAGE DOWN OUR THROATS” stuck in my head and now i can’t actually remember any other songs anyway it’s Home Run stream Home Run by Seventeen guys stream Home Run it’s a fucking bop and the music video is absolute quality i literally didn’t listen to another song for a week and a half after it dropped and i’m not kidding in the slightest stream Home Run by Seventeen guys.

Top three Fictional Universe: it has been so long since i’ve experienced anything that’s original fiction i mean like, jowling kowling rowling is a fucking terf and we hate her LMAO so the only harry potter universe i can vibe with is one that’s thoroughly headcanoned to squeeze all the bullshit out of it, but i vibe with those kinds (i’ve written those kinds, or tried anyway lmao).

also i couldn’t actually read the Lord of the Rings series bc Tolkien’s prose was just way too dense for me to enjoy without it feeling like i was reading a textbook, but i read the Hobbit and i talk to my dad about it sometimes cause he listens to a podcast where they analyze it, and literally the absolute care and time he put into making every section of that world feel alive is absolutely buck fuckin wild to me i mean fuck it up Tolkien that’s fucking incredible. that is batshit insane you incredible man, godspeed.

and doctor who is lit as fuck, tbh i vibe hard with the rtd era shit, they kind of lost me at eleven and also took that shit off amazon prime before i was done watching shitheads but like you have to admit that’s a giant fictional universe and it feels Alive as hell and i vibe with that hard like i vibed so hard i fuckin started writing my own goddamn season just bc i wanted to play around in that lovely lovely sandbox so kudos to them i guess

not in that order

anyway idk who to tag so if you’re seeing this from tctwriters and actually have notifs on for that blog, you’re up dummy i love you. i’d say anyone who wants to take it but nobody ever does so this is for the tctwriters i’m calling you out SPECIFICALLY.

[extreme-close-up-woooaah]

breakfast club headcanons V

andrew - first things first i think that we can all agree that this man is in fact a jean cuffer, he’s a bi man - he had braces from 7th grade to junior year and gets very embarrassed of  precious old photos of younger him - okay so, i need to elaborate on this boys family life, it’s insane - this boy is brothers with the kid in the police office in ferris buellers day off (his name is garth volbeck) and they have a sister named judy because garth mentions her - yes i did this because they are brothers irl and have different last names irl (but for different reasons)  - and their parents divorced a year before the breakfast club so their mother (a very sweet lady who loves her kids no matter what and respects them, she can also bake and she taught andrew to respect woman) she already moved out into another house in another neighborhood - so andrew lives with his dad sadly, and has a hard time escaping it all, garth is in between everything and judy lives with their mother by choice because of obvious reasons - okay hopefully ya’ll understand that :) - next things next this man (even out of my au) grows up to be a librarian - the story to how that happened is kind of upsetting, i don’t want anyone to feel in any way triggered or upset by this so... T W: don’t read if sensitive to stuff like verbal abuse - after highschool he got into a college for wrestling and did his thing and then after that he got onto the wrestling team his dad coaches - andrew had joined but it had drained him, his mental health was deteriorating to say the least - eventually he started to feel pain in his knee but his father kept pushing him and pushing him until he couldn’t take it anymore - he knee gave out  - i’m not educated enough to say why but all i know is that he couldn’t wrestle anymore and was useless in his fathers eyes - his father said very mean things to him and left him at a telephone booth with very little money, enough to get a burger at a mcdonalds, he called garth - asked him to take him to the hospital, he was shaky on the phone but his brother understood and came to pick him up - the ride was completely silent and understandably so, but andrew ended up crying in the passenger seat, he was kind of cold too  T W over: enjoy the rest :) - uh soooo ONCE AGAIN i am NOT educated enough to say what happened to his knee but he ended up having some chronic knee thing and it was only going to get worse and he needed a knee brace for it  - he ends up staying at garth and his boyfriends house (sorry to anyone who thinks brian should just be on his own, me and my bf ship brian and garth like a couple of dorks U-U so please do ignore it if you don’t like it or think of them as roommates :>)  - he ended up getting a job at the local library and he was pretty good at it, this library in particular was very safe and a tame - perfect, so he ended up getting the money from it and a small loan from his brother and getting his own apartment eventually  - he built his life back up and he’d end up in a comfortable house with a cat and perhaps a husband or wife A H E M bENDer - okay now on to the good stuff, lead your mind back to kindergarten - when he was younger he liked the colors pink and purple and he likes blue omg bi pride  but he ended up getting scolded for it from his dad so he vowed his whole life to hate those three things because he thought this was the normal way to live - which would explain why he’d say he hates cats but then meet one or even own one and get crazy attached to it and even name it - him and his brother wrestled around a lot but when it came to their sister they’d never hurt her, she (age: 3) was BRUTAL to them, they all look back and laugh on it later - he’s a middle child but oddly he crushes the idea of middle child syndrome because he gets too much unwanted attention from his dad, garth is two years older, his sister is three years under - in middle school he was kinda awkward and even in highschool wasn’t the most popular kid, he was good at wrestling and considered to be the best of them but girls liked the louder ones better, he’s kind of quiet - he’s got “terrible taste” in clothes according to the entirety of the breakfast club, he dresses like an old man when he’s older, but like an ancient man like me  like full on plaid pants blue shirt tan cardigan kinda thingy - when he’s younger he stays sporty on days where he has a meet but some days my man wears a yucky polo and plaid pants and a big belt once again some ugly old man stuff that i’d wear - he’s a door mat, push over, he cannot say no and that’s one of his main issues NOT PROJECTION but like me 😎 - he’s extremely polite and tries his best at being nice and respectful toward everyone but when it comes to standing up for himself in particular against people who aren’t specifically bender, he’s lost and kinda just ignores it and lets it happen - bender finally gets him to snap cause andrew wouldn’t let anyone hurt his friends or even just a person in general - he’s a little on edge for the rest of his time in detention - ya’ll okay sorry bout this, but the breakfast club is just a group of stuffed animal hoarders, he’s got a regular old teddy bear at his MOMS house so it’s safe :) - lil spoon  - cozy man wears sweaters - OH he’s super short, not a headcanon, HECK its not projection, i just enjoy the fact that he’s short and blonde like meee :} lets appreciate the tiny boy shall we? - his letterman is a size too big because he was told he’d grow into it, he is cozy - he’s at his happiest when he’s a. with his friends b. on a chair with a cat or c. outside in autumn time  - bender makes andrew a small angry bi whenever he’s around, andrew has a lot of pent up anger and he’s a little uptight and bender shakes him loose and gets him annoyed and then continues to baby voice him about how much he loves him in a funny sorta way, mostly when they were younger - andy and allison are super close and tell each other almost everything, they have coffee together and talk about how everything is every now and then, more often when they’re older - benders strong so he’ll give everyone piggy backs, usually he surprise attacks andy tho and picks him up, or if they walk home all together after school, whoevers tired, if its andrew he’ll be gentle in that circumstance - brian and andrew like books, one grows up to be an author and the other a librarian, and once andy discovers his book in his library he smiles and checks it out to read - claire and andy are closer when they’re older, they talk about their shared experiences as a kid and how they ended up where they are and they talk about how lucky they are compared to others - when they were younger claire used to try and show the boys style, bender is already a fashionista but claire picks out some cool ties for him with wacky designs on them, he wears those to work when he’s older - brian enjoys it but only to buy a pair of new shoes, perhaps some loafers and a cool button up - claire has to pick out clothes for andy because andy doesn’t know what he likes quite yet, claire ends up teaching him how to cuff his jeans and :)))))) okay i’ll stop - around christmas, andrew gets the worst gifts, he tries so so hard but he can never seem to get it right, bender gets a kick out of it :}  - in the au they have a cat named mr.ravioli because bender made raviolis and the cat began to feast on them without them knowing so they decided that’d be his name i’ll stop here but it’s not the last part of this series of headcanons, i will write more, some future ones being for all of them together, and then a fbdo bttf pretty in pink cross over where all the cool kidz hang together!! sorry this was so long ;<; i didn’t mean to absolutely pour out my heart but i love andrew and he deserves some headcanons :} i hope their not too bad ;w;

[frccdomfell]

So, this is only a little over 1600 words... I have a lot of people to thank.  I’ve had Stevie boy here for five months, but I’ve been around Tumblr rp for a long time and thought I’d take this opportunity to thank those of you that have been such lights this year. This year has been extremely hard for me for a number of reasons I won’t get into in this happy post! So, this is for those who were there for me this year:

My Main Peeps:

@liftingxrocks : firstly, i have to thank my incredible fiance. you were here every step of the way this year and it has made all the difference. i couldn’t have gotten through it without you and i’m so goddamn lucky i get to call you mine. proposing to you was easily the best thing i’ve ever done and when you said yes was the single best moment of my life. we met through rp and I love every character you try your hand at. thanks for being such a light in my life, babygirl. i love you.

@bytheanchor : b! you total fucking nerd. god, you’re the best! i’m so glad to call you my friend and you’re definitely one of my best online friends. you never fail to be positive and brighten my day. you’re so kind and encouraging. we talk practically every day. those two weeks you went away were SO BORING! i love all your characters so much, you know that. writing with you is easily one of my favourite past times. you are always just as excited and willing to write stuff as i am and i love it. thank you for being such an amazing friend.

@spitefulandspectacular : i mean you never check your tumblr notifications, but i don’t care. you were so important this year so you get a spot on the list. man, you were such a great roommate. we each had our things, but honestly i’m so happy my first real roommate was such a quality person. i miss ya like hell and can’t wait to see you real soon hopefully. thanks for being such a great friend and taking care of our boy. you’re a gem.

@mangohub : monroe, what can i even say? you’re such an incredible friend and i’m so thankful for you. anytime i’m dealing with anything you’re right there for me, ready to listen. i don’t think i’ve met a better writer in my entire life, no joke. i love your alec more than life itself and writing with you is always such a fulfilling experience. even jut plotting with you is so much goddamn fun. you’re such a bright and loving person. thanks for being one of the good things about my 2019.

@warricrsbcw : my mollee. hey hun. i just want to thank you for being such a stand up friend since we reconnected. you’ve been there for me every single time i’ve needed it and i hope i’ve been able to do the same. you’re such a sweet person and you deserve all the nice things. not to mention that i love your alec to hell and back! magnus would go to the ends of the earth for that boy.

@lcdgerbled : hayley, you are so awesome! I’m so lucky that when i left my magnus blog i was able to take you with me in a way. you’re such an insanely talented writer and an even better friend. you’ve been so great and always there if i need anyone to talk to about my ED. your natasha is perfect! steve adores her with his entire heart and wants to buy a place in a new york and have ten kids with her lol. thanks so much for making this year a little more bearable.

New Friends:

@divabarnes : so, you were actually the reason i remade my steve into a blog. he was just available on discord but you reignited my love for him. your bucky sparked my steve back to life and i can’t thank you enough. i love him so much. your writing is so in character and makes my jaw drop every time. i love writing with you (even though im slow and trash). thanks for everything you didn’t even know you did.

@ivorysatin : i know we haven’t known each other a super long time but i absolutely adore you! you’ve been so kind and friendly and you’re writing is PHENOMENAL! your magnus, anna and blair! i’m so in love with all your threads and verses. every time i see your blair i’m so tempted to remake my charles so you need to STOP! but, seriously, you’re such a friendly bean, thanks!

@semiistable : hello friend! so i know we literally just met like four days ago, but in that time i have totally fallen in love with your writing and you so freaking nice and chill. my steve is head over heels for your bucky, and writing with you never fails to make me smile. i hope we continue to be friends for a long time.

@mischieftomake : bonjour jas! so i’ve been dying to write a loki/steve pairing for so long but could never find anyone that clicked with my steve. and, i’m so lucky that the one who did also has such a phenomenal mun! you’re so much fun to plot with and to play around with what we want to do. i’m loving our soulmate verses so much! i hope we continue to become close in the new year!

@tcnystcrrk : thank you thank you thank you! i’m so happy we met and i feel so lucky to get to write with you. my steve just gravitates to your tony. you’re actually the only tony i’m properly active with. i just love plotting and writing with you. you’ve been so kind and excited and it’s made me so happy. i hope to write loads with you both ic and ooc in the new year. stay frosty.

@heyqxeens : beep boop. we don’t write a lot, and that’s mostly because i’ve been hella busy and whatnot. but, i love your peter. even without writing with you i’ve been heavily enjoying reading your other threads. honestly just the fact that you're on my dash makes a huge difference in my tumblr experience. also, we still need to do that thread where they both work at the bugle lol. hope your new year is full of fun.

@hcpefell : nyxie. again, i’ve been bad at keeping up bc life is super hectic right now but thank you so much for being part of the harder part of this year. the second half really took a lot out of me and meeting and writing with you really helped! i love how you write gwen and steve adores her. thank you so much!

Honorable Mentions: (a.k.a. those i stalk)

@stolenparticles : so hi! i’ve been following you since even before i had steve i believe. even when i never thought we’d write together (bc of the vastly different fandoms) i still needed to follow you. cassie is such an interesting and complex character and i love to see someone taking her and just running with it. i love to read all your threads on the dash, it’s always such a good time.

@stormweathered : we’ve chatted here and there, but i low key am IN LOVE with your characterization. your thor is so beautiful and on point! i read all of your answered memes when they show up because your writing is just so impressive. one day i’ll stop being a potato and actually get to work on saying a proper hello.

@kendolled : SOOOOO... i lowkey stalk your blog daily! you’re right up there with @ivorysatin making me want to remake charles. every single time i read your replies alli can see is mr. archibald. i swear, you encompass him so well. ive been rewatching gossip girl for the past seven months or so (bc im slow and easily distracted) and trust me when i say your nate is spot on! i read literally almost everything you post because it’s so perfect!

@spidaeyaunt : so i lowkey adore you. all the love and devotion you put into may is inspiring. i love reading your headcanons and i adore your threads with tonys and peters. but i think the big reason i follow you is your personality. i love seeing your ooc posts on the dash and your tags always make me laugh! keep it up, you cool cat.

@exposestruth & @smallvxlle : i grouped you together because i found you through each other. smallville was such a huge and important part of me growing up. it will forever be one of my top three shows. having both of you bring these characters to life has meant everything. makes me totally miss my ollie every time i read your individual threads. plus all the smallville gifsets on my dash make me SO HAPPY! 

@moqul : omg! your cat is FLAWLESS! i love reading your headcanons and your tags are always so freaking hilarious! i laugh so much whenever you’re on  the dash and it’s something i value so much. i love supergirl so much, i played kara for a while and i still play barry (since hes a cw super) and your cat is just perfect. i don’t think anyone else could do her the kind of justice you do.

@hakune : OH MY GOD!! your steve *holds chest* I just love him so much. you write so well and your passion for our boy comes through so clearly. i love reading your threads and just watching you interact on the dash is a blast. keep up the good work, fellow steve.

@madebythejungle : you are so fucking talented, wtf? to take such a cool and interesting character and just explode him into life is so impressive. i love reading your stuff whenever i come across it on the dash. one day i’ll get up the courage to actually come say hi, but until then have this little thank you. thank you for making my dash that much better.

[seize-the-sprace]

(Sprace) The Extra Chicken Deal

Pairing: sprace Summary: A special promotion at Race's favorite chicken joint prompts a more serious conversation. Word count: 1430 Read it on AO3 (Shoutout to @crystallizedtwilight for making up headcanons for Race's and Spot's jobs and first meeting so I didn't have to. You’re the best!)

“Oh my god, yes. Yes yes yes, I am so ready for this—”

“Race.”

“Hmm?” His mouth is already full of meat. Spot thinks he’s drooling.

“It’s chicken.”

“So?” Race says between chews. Half the meat is already off the drumstick, and Spot is sure he’ll watch the rest disappear in just a few short seconds. It fascinates him in a morbid sort of way, how much Race is enjoying today’s special promotion.

“So? You’re eating the chicken, not having sex with it.”

“Jealous, Spotty?” Race winks. Per Spot’s prediction, Race tears off the rest of the meat from the bone, which he discards immediately while his spare hand reaches for another piece.

“Honestly? A little. I don’t get it, didn’t they announce this beforehand?”

“If they did, I didn’t hear anything. It’s not like they have a newsletter.”

Spot raises an eyebrow. “If they did, would you subscribe?”

Race scoffs. “Of course. Especially for a deal like this. For a limited time only, buy two pieces, get one free!” He slowly waves his hand as he says it, as if tracing out an invisible headline between them. “And they’re geniuses for making it a surprise.”

“You don’t know it’s a surprise.”

“I know it’s limited time only.” Race waves his second chicken bone at Spot. “Gotta indulge while I can.”

Spot looks down at his own tray. He bought the standard two pieces—they’re big pieces, to be fair—but he won’t deny feeling a tiny rush of pleasure when the cashier double-checked his understanding: “You know you can get three, right? No charge.” He only moderately likes fried chicken, but it’s a good deal. Almost too good to be true.

Race, on the other hand, has ordered no fewer than three two-piece combos. Put another way, he has obtained nine pieces of chicken, so many that Spot can’t make out the placemat on his tray under the baskets. He’s almost certainly going to regret it, but in that Race-style “hashtag worth it” brag that will have Spot secretly smiling as he reaches for the antacids.

His curiosity is flagging. Spot picks up his chicken and takes a bite before it cools and he loses his nerve. It’s good, but…

“It’s nothing special,” he tells Race, who raises both eyebrows.

“You wanna try that again?”

“It’s fried chicken. How good is it supposed to be?”

Race sets down his chicken, and Spot knows he’s in for it—Race is going to need gestures for whatever he says next.

“Spot,” he says with a breathy sigh, “this goes beyond fried chicken. Imagine, if you will, the most comforting thing imaginable.”

Spot blinks when he realizes Race is actually pausing to let him come up with it. In bed with Race raining warm blankets nap flits through his head. He nods for Race to go on.

“Now imagine it in food form.”

“What if the thing I thought of was food?”

“Knowing you, it was probably protein powder, and thank god I’m here to save you from yourself.” Race winks at him as if to reassure him that he knows Spot is more complex than that. Spot never doubted that, but he still frowns minutely. He wonders if Race knows what he was actually thinking. He thinks he does, but now he's not sure.

Race takes the frown as an invitation to elaborate. “See, this ain’t the first time I’ve been here,” he says, gesturing around at the kitschy red and white décor of the joint. “I know you CUNY folk don’t hang out much with us NYU kids, but this is where we, and particularly I, spent a lot of really late nights. Sometimes to study, sometimes for wrap parties, sometimes just because we were too drunk to go home.”

“You, drunk?” Spot can’t help but smirk. Race is a bartender; it’s how they met, with Spot’s friends pushing him towards the beanpole whose smiles went a bit beyond good service. Spot’s seen him drunk, but nowhere near the plastered levels he hears about from Race’s circle of friends.

“Don’t you wonder where all the legends come from?” Race laughs along with him. “Yeah, the nights of my youth usually ended right here. Sometimes at this table.”

“So it’s not just the chicken, then.”

“No, it’s definitely partially the chicken. This stuff soaks up alcohol like a sponge, or at least drunk me thought so. Enough to get me down the subway steps, anyway.” Race shakes his head. “But also it tastes like home, you know?”

“Sounds like your arteries are already clogged with this stuff.”

“If this is how I go, it’s how I go.” Race flashes his boyfriend a grin and reaches for another piece of chicken. Spot watches him silently, thinking of how Race all but blew up his phone while he wrapped up his last client’s tattoo. Spot had kind of thought Race was in the hospital until he managed to check his messages and scroll through the texts consisting of nothing but exclamation points and excited emojis.

“Imagine,” says Race suddenly, as if the thought he’s been trying to express has finally popped up in his brain, “imagine that suddenly you could get more of something you already wanted. I mean, whatever the reason, happy memories or whatever, I love this stuff. I come here when I’m down or tired or stressed, and I always leave in a better mood because of this chicken. Why wouldn’t I want more when they’re giving it away for free?

He seems to have finished his thought, because he returns to his meal. Spot takes another bite too, but he’s lost in a different world from his boyfriend. There’s a half-formed thought rolling around in his head, something to do with fried chicken and happy memories and getting more of what you want.

Race’s near orgasmic groaning when he took his first bite of chicken was amusing, but also, in a weird way, Spot can empathize. He feels that blissful relief every day, but he doesn’t get it from food—he feels it when he comes home and Race is there. He doesn’t even have to be conscious. He can be sprawled out on the bed, drooling in his boxer shorts, and Spot will do nothing but drop his shoulders and crawl into bed beside him.

“Race,” he says. Maybe if he starts the sentence, he’ll figure out how to finish it. He’s a lot better at cheek kisses and completed chores than he is at actually voicing how Race makes him feel.

“Hmm?”

“I…” Damn it. “You’re my fried chicken.” Spot puts his head in his hand as soon as he says it.

Race sputters out a laugh. Spot looks up at him only to make sure he’s not choking. “Okay,” he says when he’s gotten the worst of the laughter out, “you know you have to elaborate on that one.”

“Never mind,” Spot grumbles.

“No, seriously.” To prove his sincerity, Race pushes his half-full tray to the side of the table and leans on his elbows. “Tell me about my deep-fried beauty.”

“I’m not saying you are fried chicken,” Spot says, still with his head in one hand. When Race doesn’t retort, he dares to look up. “I just…when you have a surprise night off, or. When I come home and you’re on the couch crying at Queer Eye. I like that as much as you like this stuff.” He gestures to the trays with the hand that was once holding his head. “And I’d…definitely take more if I could.”

Hesitantly, his eyes meet Race’s, hoping his boyfriend doesn’t think he’s gone insane for the metaphor. They’ve been dating for a year and a half now, and they’re well past love confessions. But every so often, Race deserves to hear him repeat it in words, even if they’re not exactly the ones he means to say.

Fortunately, Race seems to understand what he’s trying to say. Under the table, his leg extends to rub against Spot’s ankle. Above it, Race’s smile has turned gentle and a bit proud.

“Yeah, well,” he says, “maybe one of these days we can put that option on the table. More of what we already want, and all.”

Spot is still for a second. Then his shoulders jolt in a sudden laugh, and he examines Race to confirm he’s hearing right.

“Make it good, Conlon,” Race says teasingly. He leans back against the booth, but his ankle hasn’t left Spot’s. “I ain’t gonna be proposed to in a chicken joint.”

[johnlockficclub]

Discussion Recap - Author Q&A!

Well, JFC crew, we’ve reached the end of another fabulous fic! Thank you so much to everyone who read along and participated in the weekly discussions - you all are the best.

And of course, a huge thank you to @swissmissing for writing The Baker Street Nativity in the first place and for coming along to our Author Q&A to share some insight into her writing process and background to this fic. Questions and answers are below the cut as this got quite long!

And finally, thanks once again to @frodosweetstuff for allowing us to use her artwork for these update posts!

Happy holidays everyone - may you and your loved ones be safe and happy this festive season! xx

1: Why this AU? What got you started on it? @ewebie 

 I saw the movie and with MF in it, of course I immediately started thinking of how it could be a Johnlock AU.  I do that frequently anyway: imagine Johnlock versions of stuff. I just watched a few Netflix Xmas movies recently and I am still thinking of how to turn them into Johnlock AU's. I see the world through Johnlock-coloured glasses. Is that healthy or normal? IDK.

2. Would you ever consider publishing your fanfic? @norburylibrary 

No. First off, the story is obviously cadged from a copyrighted screenplay. To publish it for real, as an original work, I'd have to scrub the names and characters so that they don't interfere with BBC copyright. That part should be feasible, but the story itself is too close to the Nativity screenplay. As for any of my other fics, the non-fusion ones, I don't think I've written anything that could stand on its own without the Sherlock association. One of the huge assets of fan fiction is there is a built-in character background and setting. I'm not up to rewriting to the extent of creating something that could be published as an original work.

3.  What do you enjoy writing most, humor or angst and why? @elwinglyre

I can do both, but I guess I'm more drawn to angst. I think humor is harder to pull off, for me at least. I'm not a naturally funny person. I have to think hard to come up with funny situations and lines. Confession: In some of my fics, there are certain punch lines that were actually written by my beta readers. I think Sherlock and John - in fact all of the Sherlock BBc universe - lends itself more naturally to angst anyway. although there are humorour parts in the eps, I find them more geared towards angst.

4.  Was it confusing at all having seen the movie to then switch the roles?  When writing it. @sherlock-nanowrimo

Yes, totally confusing at first! I started out with the "natural" roles, with John as the teacher and Sherlock as the assistant, but it wasn't working for me so somehow I just got the idea to try it the other way round. Once I started down that path though, it wasn't confusing for me. I was worried throughout that it would be confusing for readers. But everyone who commented and said they had seen the movie, also said the switch wasn't hard for them to deal with.

5.  When you write is it because you get a fic idea or for some other reason? Like stress reliever or for doing something fun? @tildathings 

Good question. I always want to write. I get a great feeling of satisfaction when I write something. Especially when I finish a piece. It's a big shot of dopamine for me. It carries me for a long time, sometimes days. BUT I can't force myself to write. I tried that one year with nanowrimo and it was not a good thing. So I can really only write when "the muse" grabs me. When I get an idea that sticks with me for days and weeks. And with this fic, it really came alive and almost wrote itself, once I was on the right track.

6. How much do you base your writing on the show and how much on your headcanon? @travelingwithoutthedoctor 

This is a problem too, as I haven't gone back and watched the episodes in a really long time. Many of the eps I only saw once in the first place. I have the feeling that the fandom circles you travel in tend to create a fancanon that pretty much replaces the actual canon. So that's something I struggle with. I actually try when I write to imagine and hear the TV characters speaking and acting things out, in the hopes that it makes it closer to how they might actually be in those situations. I suppose that's unavoidable. I'm sure I do have an image of the characters in my mind, and I write from that. I just hope they are pretty aligned with the original characters from the show.

7.  I thought you did an incredible job making Sherlock a teacher for young children credible. That wasn't something we'd think of Sherlock doing, and you made it work. What did you take into consideration when doing this? @elwinglyre

Woo boy, that's a thing! He is so completely unsuited for this position. I had to justify him being in that position, however, so I kind of hand-waved something. Honestly, it wasn't my priority. I was just trying to create Johnlock moments. I mean, I think he's actually quite good with children. We've seen that on the show with Archie. I think it would depend on the kids.

8.  I’m curious about the speed of writing. How quickly do you get a chapter done? @vitruvianwatson

Once I get going, I can usually do about a chapter a week. My chapters tend to be 2-5K. 

9.  The UST, miscommunication and angst of this fic was deliciously frustrating, and a lot of us were yelling at them to just sort themselves out. If that was the hardest part about reading it, I'm wondering about what was difficult to write in this fic?  Were there certain sections or characters that you found challenging? @lediona25

I was honestly following the pacing of the movie, pretty much. I did need to add some scenes. I tried to pace it so that there was a romantic bit about at the halfway point, and another one for the big payoff at the end. One challenging bit was the dog. I wasn't sure whether to include him, but once I did, I kept forgetting about him. I kept having to go back and remember where the dog was and who was taking care of him. I don't have a dog so I was just doing what I've seen other people doing with their dogs. They leave them tied up outside of shops and restaurants all the time so I figured it was okay. Again, it wasn't really a priority. A lot of people commented that they liked the dog in there though, so I'm glad I left him in.

10. It was perfect casting!  We were talking about it during the movie - like with Greg as the headmistress. @sherlock-nanowrimo

That's one of the best parts of doing a fusion, for me anyway, is the casting.  I love discovering how characters map onto each other. Sometimes it's astonishing.  I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH JIM!!  I didn't want to make him actually evil or a real threat. It always gives me massive anxiety when Moriarty shows up in a fic because often truly awful things happen then. But I wanted to keep this in line with it being a kids' movie. And to be fair, I didn't really need to change all that much from the movie bad guy anyway. That nativity play he put on was insane! And I actually was just teaching one of my classes last year about universal story plots such as the hero's journey.  (Yes, I'm an English teacher.) 11.  One of your ficlets suggests some pretty unpleasant stuff re: Jim's backstory. @bluebellofbakerstreet

Jim's backstory. I kind of imagined he and Sherlock had been rivals at the conservatory and Jim had tried to derail Sherlock with drugs. Perhaps somewhat successfully.

12.  What the hell is the story with Sherlock and whatever he did to Seb Wilkes?! @ewebie

I don't know either! LOL that is actually something I like doing in fics because, again, I like it when fics do that: hint at something but not elaborate and leave it up to you to decide what was actually going on.  I guess maybe that's frustrating to some people but for me, it gives fics depth and realism.  It's like in some fics where you just hear about a case in passing but the details are never fleshed out. I was using it to show that Sherlock had made poor decisions with kids in the past, so this thing he did with taking the kids to the studio wasn't out of character.

13. John... as a classroom assistant. How did you see him ending up there? Our conclusion was that... lost people just sometimes end up places @ewebie

I don't recall if it's explained in the fic or not, but I actually had something in mind for that. He was invalided out of the army and bumming around with nothing to do, feeling useless. His good friend Mike, who was also a teacher, recommended him to Greg as a classroom assistant. No idea if that would be allowed in the UK but here in Switzerland it's frequently done. Usually a retired person will be brought in as a classroom assistant. This keeps them active and engaged, and is a big help to the teachers.

14.  We loved the whole scene with Moriarty at the end when Mycroft pops out and saves the day.  You did a bang-up job with that.  When you're finishing a story, are you one those "I've planned it all out" writers or stream of consciousness writers. Let's go with the flow? @elwinglyre

In this case, the ending was written for me. I just followed the plot of the movie. Usually, though, I do have the ending in mind from the start. It's usually pretty much a sex scene, lol. The whole point of the fic is usually, how do I get these two together? 

15.  Oh! The sex! Is that easy for you to write. I have the hardest time with that. Is something your really get into? @elwinglyre 

True story (which I also told on one of my guest slots on the TPP): I didn't use to be able to write sex scenes. But I wanted to. So I literally would copy sex scenes from fics I liked. Just like, typing them out word for word. This got me used to writing those words and those acts on my screen. Then I tried writing my own. I think I sort of have a reputation for writing awkward-realistic sex scenes. I'm not aiming for that, it's just how they come out. It's a mix of, again, imagining how the characters would appear and act and speak in those situations, and also I guess how I would feel and want things to be.

16. We have a lot of people in this group who are just starting out writing fic or are thinking about writing something, do you have any advice to new writers? @lediona25

I'll just say what we started out talking about: Write for yourself. Write what you want to read. You will always have an appreciative audience. I see so many writers get discouraged because they don't have massive hits and kudos, and they just give up. I think most of the popular writers in fandom have been around for years. This may be their third or fourth fandom. They've been writing in real life. Experience takes a long time to build up.So write for yourself. The rest will come. And... at the moment, it feels a bit like there's less readers than 2 years ago, so really really don't be discouraged.

Thanks to all those who asked questions and to @swissmissing for her thoughtful answers! :)

[thesoundofnat]

Don’t Ask, Do Tell

Tony, Rhodey

Summary: DADT gets repealed and suddenly Tony feels like he needs to come out to Rhodey, finally.

A/N: Based on this prompt from @insane-sociopath aka my super loyal prompter. I changed things a bit (I made Tony pan/bi instead of gay because that’s what I headcanon him as), but I hope you like it nevertheless!

[Read it on AO3]

Words: 2 673

Warnings: A brief mention of a 15 year old sleeping with someone who’s a few years older, alcohol consumption, underage drinking, canonical death.

September 20, 2011

Tony thought for sure he was over this perpetual urge to do it and say it and live it, but it became clearer and clearer that he wasn’t, and his old panic returned. Washed over him and overwhelmed him until he couldn’t breathe as easily anymore. But then again, when had he ever breathed freely? For as long as he could remember, that oppressing hand had been enclosing his throat.

The news had reached him when he’d been secretly scrolling the various apps on his phone during a meeting, and the only reason he hadn’t heard about it earlier was because he’d been running late that day, and no one found any reason to tell him. Probably barely knew about it themselves. But one lonesome post on Twitter brought the trending topic to his attention, and suddenly he was gaping at his phone, every thought of being discreet gone from his mind.

“Mr Stark?”

“Sounds great, Jeffrey,” he said, standing up, phone in hand, eyes on no one. “Emergency. Gotta run.” And he did. Practically leaped through the halls until he was alone. And then he allowed himself to panic, and he hadn’t stopped panicking ever since, and he wasn’t entirely sure why, though he was sure it had something to do with that old urge returning.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He thought he was over this.

But did he have to be over this? Now with the DADT having been repealed. Now that people were almost allowed to be themselves, freely. Almost.

He didn’t know a thing.

Fuck.

He drank himself to sleep that night, and then every other night of that week.

September, 1985

The alcohol he’d stolen from a guy on his floor was burning in his veins, untangling the thoughts that barely made sense when he was sober. This wasn’t the first time he’d been drunk, but it was the first time he was this drunk. He wasn’t sure if he liked it. He felt too out of control, but at the same time it felt… good. Liberating, almost.

He knew he’d probably regret this.

The hallway was full of bodies. Some he knew, some belonged to strangers, but it didn’t matter, because he smiled at every single face, and they all drunkenly grinned back. Confused, or giddy, or without a care in the world. All depending on if they knew who this random kid who had somehow managed to get into college at 15 was. Tony didn’t care if they did.

“Aren’t you a little young for whatever’s in your cup?” a guy asked, appearing in front of him out of nowhere and forcing him to stop in his tracks. He was tall. Well built. Handsome.

Tony was suddenly aware of everything about himself. How much shorter he was. How much younger and lankier and less experienced. But he still managed a smile, and fortunately the guy smiled back.

“Maybe I am,” he slurred out, hoping he sounded more confident than he felt. “Are you going to tell on me?”

“Nah, I’m not a snitch,” the guy said, leaning against the wall. All smirks and head tilts. “Besides, not drinking at college is a crime.”

Tony nodded, maybe a little too eagerly. “That I’ve heard.”

“I guess it’s not hard finding any booze here, even if it is MIT.”

“It was surprisingly easy.”

And everything else became blurry after that, but when Tony woke up it was in an unfamiliar dorm room in an unfamiliar bed with a semi familiar guy beside him, and he never told anyone about it.

That was the first time he slept with a man, though not the last.

September 28, 2011

He had to tell Rhodey. That was the first thought to cross his mind when he woke up to the usual hangover. The notion brought a fresh wave of panic, and he was sure his exhausted body and weary brain wouldn’t be able to take this much longer. And that was exactly why he should just tell him. Get it over with. Rip off the bandaid before the wound became infected.

It didn’t make it any easier.

Rhodey didn’t ask why he’d suddenly invited him over in the middle of the week. Could probably see it on him that something was up. Wrong, even. All Tony knew was that his friend entered his home wearing a mask; a mask covering up the concern that Tony’s mask that was covering up his panic had caused. Maybe they both needed to stop investing in masks.

“Do you want a drink?” Tony asked, his back already turned to him, his feet already steering him toward the liquor cabinet.

“If it’s not too much of a bother,” came Rhodey’s reply, and when Tony returned with two glasses of whiskey on the rocks he was sitting on the couch, looking more tired than he would probably admit to.

Tony handed him his glass and they drank.

“So how have you been?” he asked, desperate for some normalcy, because in his brain everything had turned upside down.

“Busy,” Rhodey said, staring at a spot on the wall across from him for a brief moment before turning toward Tony. “It’s the season, you know? You’d think it would be different once we’d graduated, but autumn always hits you in the face even if you’ve spent all summer working.”

Tony raised his glass. “Amen to that.”

“I’m just trying to take it one day at a time, I guess. What about you?”

“I think people want me to be doing the opposite of that.”

“Let me guess. You don’t.”

“I’d love to take everyday as it comes, but you know I can’t. Despite what they say I always overthink it.”

“They don’t have to know.”

“No. They’re fun to mess with, so please refrain from telling them.”

“I will try my best.”

Tony took another sip, his nerves all over the place, though Rhodey merely kept his glass in his hand. Tony wasn’t sure if he wanted him to drink or not.

He cleared his throat. “I think you’ve realized I didn’t ask you to come for no reason.”

“I sort of figured.”

“Truth is I have something I want to tell you. Something I probably should’ve told you twenty years ago.”

Rhodey’s confused eyes met his own and Tony knew there was no turning back.

August 5, 1995

The last thing Tony thought he’d experience when he woke up that morning was Rhodey almost catching him in bed with another guy. It was summer. Hot. Humid. So very L.A. And of course that meant a parade of pretty people found their way into Tony’s home and occasionally bed, though Tony was a man rarely left alone, so he kept the amount of men he slept with to a minimum.

But sometimes they were invited inside, and sometimes things went down. He couldn’t remember this particular guy’s name, and neither of them cared, but with the midday sun forcing its way into the bedroom through the small opening of the curtains, and Tony’s phone going off as if someone died (a joke of poor taste, he had to admit), it became harder and harder to ignore the world, and Tony ended up growling almost angrily when he answered the phone. “What?”

“Wake up, sleeping beauty. I’m outside, let me in.”

It was Rhodey. Of course. Hanging up without affirming or even saying goodbye, Tony turned to the guy who unfairly and unsurprisingly looked just as handsome in daylight and said, “You gotta leave.”

He’d snuck people out before. He’d never had to, but it was almost a part of the game to pretend to be coy about it, and he’d enjoyed leading girls out the back way while grinning and promising he’d call. It had been fun.

This wasn’t fun.

The guy was excruciatingly slow about getting dressed, and insisted on using the bathroom before making the twenty minute drive into town. Tony couldn’t blame him, but in his panic he could do nothing but become exasperated.

“Okay, but hurry!” he snapped, pulling on his own clothes from the previous night after deeming them decent enough for a Saturday out here. “Look, there’s this door just before the kitchen. It leads you to the backyard. Use it. Do not pass the kitchen, because it will lead you to the living room where we will be sitting. And for all that is holy, be quiet.” Maybe whisper yelling all this into the bathroom door while the guy tried to go about his business wasn’t the best option, but he was desperate.

When Tony entered the hallway Rhodey was banging on the door, and something told him he’d been doing it for a while.

“What took you so long?” Rhodey asked once he’d let him in.

“Sorry, I was sleeping when you called,” Tony said in his own defense. “I barely knew how to use my legs until a minute ago.”

“Rough night I presume.”

Tony shot him a grin he hoped was less panicked than he was feeling. “Always.”

Rhodey didn’t look amused. Ever since Tony’s parents had died almost four years earlier his friend did everything to help him, and for the past year he kept referring to pretty much anything Tony did as bad habits he used as coping mechanisms. And maybe he was right, but Tony refused to sit around on his ass with nothing but his grief. He’d done that enough already.

“You know, maybe if you tagged along sometimes you’d have some fun too while simultaneously keeping an eye on me.” Tony gave his chest a light slap. “Everyone wins.”

“You think my goal in life is to babysit you?”

“Obviously.”

“Tones-��

“Do you want anything? Something to drink? Some-”

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“Didn’t you hear that?”

Tony forced his voice to remain calm. “Hear what?”

“It sounded like a door being shut or something.” Rhodey’s expression suddenly changed. “Someone’s here, aren’t they?”

Play along, Stark. Rhodey had no reason to suspect it was a guy. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He tried to make his smug grin tell a different story, and Rhodey was rolling his eyes instantly.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Hey, I’m not the one barging in midday on a Saturday. And at least I’m getting laid.”

“I get laid too, you know.”

“I need evidence, Rhodey.”

“Did you at least get a number?”

“Dunno. You sort of forced me to kick them- her out quickly.” If Rhodey noticed his near miss he didn’t comment on it.

“Will you ever treat people nicely?”

“Maybe when I’m old and gray. And hey, they don’t complain when I’ve got them-”

“Don’t wanna know, Tones.”

Tony crumpled up the note with the phone number he found in his bedroom an hour later the moment he caught sight of it.

September 28, 2011

“Tony, you-” Rhodey cut himself off. Placed his glass on the coffee table and tried again. “You don’t have to tell me anything unless you want to.”

“I do want to.”

“But you look like you’re gonna pass out.”

Tony couldn’t help the smile from finding his lips. Weak. Tired. Terrified. “I think it’ll be worse if I don’t tell you. I need you to know. I need you to finally know.”

“This sounds serious.”

“It is. Or maybe it isn’t. Maybe I’ve just been overthinking it.”

“For twenty years.”

“I think it’s closer to twentysix actually.”

Rhodey ran a hand over his face. “You’ve been carrying something big around for twentysix years? Why haven’t you told me earlier?”

“It wasn’t relevant back then. Or appropriate.”

“Tony, what-”

“Please just-” Tony exhaled loudly, finally looking away from him. “Just let me say it. If I don’t say it today I never will.”

Rhodey didn’t reply, but Tony could feel his gaze on him. Could feel his undivided attention and concern and patience. Tony couldn’t help but feel as if everything would change once he told him.

Tony sat up straighter, scooting forward on the couch as if preparing himself to run. Maybe he could utter those words he’d never told a soul and then make a run for it. That would certainly be memorable - though, of course, just the simple confession would be memorable on its own.

How could it not?

“Truth is,” Tony started and regretted it immediately. He hadn’t been lying about his attraction to women all these years. It just happened to not be the only direction his desires travelled in.

He cleared his throat and restarted. “It’s about my, uh, orientation.”

“Orientation?”

“It’s a bit all over the place.”

“That… makes no sense.”

“Rhodey, I’m not straight.”

I was funny how words that had been stuck in your throat your entire life could leave your lips so easily.

October, 1986

“I know you’re young,” Rhodey said, even though the bastard was only two years older. “But you cannot tell me you haven’t thought about it.”

“Marriage? Kids? No, I cannot say I have, Rhodey, my friend.”

“Never? Not once?”

Tony shook his head, utterly amused and very unsure of how this conversation had started. “Do you walk around picturing your dream wife or something?”

“Sometimes,” Rhodey said, somewhat defensively. “And sometimes I see a girl who just looks so good that I almost want to propose on the spot.”

“You’re kidding me.”

Rhodey grinned. “Okay, a little bit. But seriously.” He gave Tony’s arm a light slap. “You never talk about girls with me. And don’t tell me it’s because you’re too young or busy. I’ve seen you return early in the morning in your rendition of a walk of shame. But you never want to discuss it.”

Tony’s heart was suddenly attempting to escape from his ribcage. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

“But you’re not a shy guy. It’s almost as if you’re afraid to tell me or something. You always act as if nothing happened, which I don’t get.”

Okay, Tony was definitely right behind his fleeing heart. “Don’t you think we have bigger things to do than talk about that?”

“See? That’s my point exactly. It’s like you’re ashamed.”

Tony brought his knees up where he was sitting on the floor, hugging them tightly to his chest as if it would help. As if he could hide. “I’m not ashamed.”

Rhodey looked concerned now. “Did you parents ever speak to you about this? I know you don’t need help, but possibly guidelines-”

“Rhodey. Drop it.”

Rhodey did.

September 28, 2011

“I’m not straight,” he repeated, as if to test the phrase out again. “I’m not gay either, but I know I’m not only attracted to women.”

Rhodey didn’t say anything, which was almost worse than if he’d started screaming.

“I guess I just wanted you to know,” Tony continued, wishing he could get into the suit and fly away forever. Wishing he had enough guts to leave Rhodey forever.

“Hey,” came Rhodey’s reply at last. “Look at me.” He didn’t look mad when Tony did. In fact, Tony couldn’t exactly pinpoint how he looked. “It’s okay, please don’t look so scared.”

“Can’t help it,” Tony said, falling into the habit of laying every emotion out in the open when it came to his friend.

“I don’t- I don’t hate you or whatever it is you’re scared of,” Rhodey continued. “I don’t mind, you know? As long as you’re happy you can be with whomever you want to.”

So it had been that easy. Barely three words and Rhodey still accepted him with open arms. Twentysix years of anguish for nothing. Tony wasn’t sure if he should laugh or cry.

“You have no idea how good it feels to hear that,” he breathed out, averting his eyes and shaking his head in disbelief. “I knew you weren’t close minded or anything, but you never know, you know?”

“Come here, you nerd.”

Tony never knew a hug could fix all the broken pieces inside him, albeit for only a moment.

[imperialroseking]

So About vadcriisms....

//I’m sorry, Majora. I was fine with where this ended until you did this and blocked me on the blog. Even if you can’t read this, everyone else will. You messed with the wrong person this time. I hope the rest of you enjoy and understand that I take no pleasure in this. She was once my friend, after all, and I haven’t blocked her like she has blocked me. In the end, though, this is trying to be an indirect smear campaign, and I will not allow that.

Wanna know why Majora suddenly has a Leon muse? Because she wants to get back at me. She thinks I’m too OOC for actually giving him humanity. How rich. Doesn’t help she’s using my headcanons like the PTSD, questionable sexuality, and even the way she has him act to a degree (some of his mannerisms match with my muse’s in an uncanny way). I’m not saying I hold a copyright, but it’s telling when her character is just like mine without the traits that make mine likable in the first place.

Not like I need to smear her muse much more or acknowledge she blocked me to prove she’s being petty. I won’t stoop to her level. Instead, I’ll just reveal why she’s suddenly doing this. I have quotes to back me up, so don’t worry, it’s not just heresay. She can block me on Discord, but I haven’t and still have our conversations. That’s the issue with block and run. You don’t get to do that.

So now come the explanation portion. I’ll tag the triggers accordingly since there are quite a few of them. I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable with that. It’ll also be really long. I’d skim the first part, honestly. It’s graphic and frustrating to say the least.

So Majora and I were shipping. Everything was fine. Apparently, she had a problem with my muse, but she never told me to my face. I come up to her one day with an idea for an RP on Discord between us: one with a baby. She agreed as long as the baby wasn’t Mateus’ because he killed his children and felt uncomfortable having another one (more on the child death later).

So I got to work making the baby. In fact, I made a full on OC out of it just for fun. It was a girl named Rose made between Leon and a brothel girl who kind of tricked him into having the kid in the first place (it’s implied drugs may have been involved). She would have never told him about Rose if she hadn’t come down ill and eventually died. Of course, that left the baby to Leon, and he took responsibility for her, named her Rose, and brought her to Mateus to ask for his help.

Big mistake, apparently. Mateus became insanely jealous and furious, and Leon left the throne room hurt but still determined to care for the baby. Suddenly, the baby began crying because she was hungry. Leon carried her to the kitchen and set her on the counter while he searched for milk or something (he’s not good at taking care of young children without help). So far, so good.

What happened next happened with no warning and with no way to counter it. She had Mateus send an anaconda after the baby and eat her. That’s right: baby murder in one post, no way for Leon to hear it until it was too late or counter it as the baby was dead by the end of her post. It doesn’t help she used and anaconda and didn’t even write it well. It would have swallowed that baby whole while the child was still living, not killed her then ate her. Pythons don’t do that to rats, after all. If they’re small enough, a snake will just swallow it.

Fact checking aside, Leon was heartbroken and had a mental breakdown. I mean, wouldn’t you? He just lost his kid, and coupled with the PTSD of losing loved ones and not being there for them, he really took it hard. Unfortunately, Majora wanted none of that. She was rushing my muse’s grief along as if she has no idea what it’s like to lose a loved one. On top of that, I mentioned he might self harm. Keyword is might. She took this has him “carving himself like a Thanksgiving turkey” and said she was having less fun just for mentioning it. Because a dark knight grieving over his child and feeling responsible is a stupid reason to harm oneself. He should harm himself for the lols like Mateus.

So I make him OOC and rush him toward her muse just to get things over with (he would have eventually, anyways, so her point on him being passive is moot. He’d Liam Neeson a bitch). He found him in the secret graveyard where Mateus was grieving over the children he killed (told you it’d be back), and she then godmodded and nearly had her muse kill mine. Thankfully, the RP ended with Leon being let go, and that was that.

Oh, but she wasn’t done. Several days later, she comes to me blaming me for not telling her I was upset with the RP. In hindsight, I did, but it wasn’t an outright “stop doing this.” That’s on me. I apologize for that. But I can call Majora a hypocrite since she had issues with me she never approached me with until after the RP.

And then we fought. Rather than take you play by play, I’ll start to highlight what I tried to tell Majora during it and see if it fits. I’ll post some parts of the argument to help.

Anime Bowie - Last Tuesday at 4:36 PM It sucks the fun out of an RP when you resort to Leon wanting to cut himself to make me feel guilty OOC and try to make me change Mateus' actions, as I cannot simply just make his illness and himself OOC for your comfort. If you had an issue, you should've said something to me DIRECTLY rather than just be quiet. Stuff like that just pushes me away as an RP partner and shows  that you don't care enough about me or my muse.

I'm sorry, but I can't roleplay with someone who's too ""scared"" to communicate and resorts to LYING to other people about her partner. That makes you toxic, and not something I want in my life. It really makes me upset, Xixi. Really upset.(edited)

The “lie” was to her best friend. I told her what happened like I did here. Of course Majora didn’t like being seen in this light, so she claimed it was all a lie. She also constantly calls Leon OOC as you’ll soon see. It’s obvious she took the self harm out-of-context. It wasn’t to guilt her. It’s a coping mechanism. And yes, this does make her a hypocrite, forcing my muse and his illness to be OOC while claiming she can’t do the same for me.

Xixi - Last Tuesday at 9:23 PM Wanna check your wording yourself, Majora? You wrote it so the moment he turned around she was half down the snake's throat! Anime Bowie - Last Tuesday at 9:24 PM Even then, it takes a snake time to digest. Leon had more than enough time to cut it open and get her out. But no, I'm a bad guy for suggesting an easy solution to prevent that. Xixi - Last Tuesday at 9:25 PM Just listen to yourself! You're defeinding fictional baby murder! Anime Bowie - Last Tuesday at 9:26 PM HOW THE FUCK AM I DEFENDING IT I'M STATING HOW A SNAKE WORKS MAN HE HAD TIME HE CHOSE NOT TO USE IT SHE DIED BECAUSE HE NEGLECTED TO SAVE HER ITS NOT THAT HARD I DON'T GET OFF TO BABY MURDER MUCH LESS APPROVE OF IT

And here we go with another highlight. She defends her choices by blaming Leon being OOC for all of it. What made him OOC? Caring for his child. That’t right, Being a doting father is OOC now. Grief is OOC. Leon should be a wall of stone and stoicism with no emotions. Also, calling him a shitty father is not only a moot point (he’s not a babysitter), but also is deflecting the issue of her actually killing the child before swallowing. She even wrote the baby “stopped breathing” before the snake swallowed her. She was crying, so when she completely stops, Leon knew what happened. If she had written the snake correctly, he would have ripped its jaws open. But she didn’t. That’s on her, not me or Leon.

Xixi - Last Tuesday at 9:27 PM Finally unhidging it's jaw, it struck at her, the impact deadly on Rose as she was swallowed. DEAD IN ONE BITE THEN SWALLOWED WHERE IS LEON'S COUNTER Anime Bowie - Last Tuesday at 9:28 PM HEY XIXI YA KNOW HE COULD HAVE STILL GOTTEN HER OUT

That’s the direct quote from the RP. Still wanna debate the baby could be saved?

Anime Bowie - Last Tuesday at 9:30 PM NO THAT LEON WAS BRINGING HER IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO APPROACH MATEUS RATHER THAN LEAVE AND LEAvE HIM IN THE DARK Xixi - Last Tuesday at 9:30 PM WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU EVEN LEON DIDN'T KNOW HE HAD A KID UNTIL HE WAS CALLED AND GIVEN THE KID I SAID THAT IN THE RP MULTIPLE TIMES

Here’s a prime example of her saying Leon should have read Mateus’ mind. He should have just known how to approach her muse and give her what she wants. No responsibility for Mateus’ actions. It’s all Leon’s fault and by extension my fault.

Anime Bowie - Last Tuesday at 9:37 PM Well something needs to be done with her so Leon can explain it to Mateus That would make things smoother. inhales exhales Maybe, Leon could have been holding her and explained it to Mateus before calling him over. Let him have a moment to process. Would he be wary? Yes. But he wouldn't be like how he was. He is scared of having children, but Leon easing him into the idea and allowing him a moment to process it before showing him Rose? Yes, the RP would have gone smoother.

See what I mean? No responsibility for what he did. No responsibility for what she wrote. It’s all on my side. If Leon hadn’t been so forward like his character is known for being, she wouldn’t have killed the baby. If he had just forgotten what grief was and chased Mateus, she would have been happier.

It’s the root of all of this. Majora hates taking responsibility for her actions. She plays dark themes without realizing the consequences of them irl, she throws a tantrum when she doesn’t get her way, and she plays the victim when something goes against her favor. I may have my issues. I have mental illness and naivety irl. But I actually attempt to work through them personally and not rely on others to do it for me. When I did and was called out for it, I apologized and swore never to do it again. I’ve made good on this promise so far, and I have plenty of wonderful friends who love and support me.

Majora, on the other hand, used me as a crutch. Her blog was promoted heavily by me in her early days, and many of her followers came through me. She relied on my praise and sympathy a lot in Discord as well as others. When this went down, she not only block me but unfriended the entire FFII RPing group without notice, and not only did they have no idea what was going on, some of them considered her a friend. She burned bridges she really didn’t have to just to spite me.

I kind of feel like I created a monster of an ego in her. I regret that.

And now, she suddenly apes my muse and blocks me on that blog. For someone so heavy into communication, she sure didn’t talk to me about any of this. I normally would enjoy a second Leon blog, but she’s not even trying to act like this isn’t to get back at me somehow.

In the end, I feel bad for her. I hope she one day grows up. If you’re reading this, Majora, I don’t hold as much hate for you as you apparently hold for me. We can still talk. I haven’t blocked you.

TL;DR Majora burned me bad and made this blog out of petty revenge. I’ve had this blog for 5 years, so I don’t care about followers anymore. Unfollow if you think I’m wrong for this. I just want to point out how slimy this blog really is.