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Seeds as parents, pt.3

Last one to analyze, Joseph Seed.

Now, please note: I only analyze each of them as a single parent, and I do it for fun. Also, I use mostly extreme/overreactive examples for better understanding. Also, I headcanon Joseph being 1 type bipolar.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: child abuse, child neglect, PTSD, bipolar 1st type, unhealthy relationship related scenes

The hardest one comes last. Joseph Seed. This man's ability to groom people is incredible. While he poses himself as a father figure towards everyone and everyone, he is, in fact, unlike anyone else, is not able to be a good parent. Not with his medical conditions. Now, I want to specify: I truly believe that Joseph is Bipolar (1st type) and PTSD. And, sadly, being 1st type bipolar changes people. In some phases (mania), people sometimes are not themselves anymore, and we need to understand that Joseph has no meds to control his manias. Now, to the details:

- We all know Joseph has (had) two kids so far. And writers of his lore made it clear that he is unable to raise children. He killed his daughter when he had a mania (or, if you deeply believe in his role as a Prophet, he heard a Voice telling him to do so as a reference to God demanding Abraham to kill his child as an offering).

- I want to dive deeper into Bipolar disorder for our better understanding of Joseph's personality. Now, it has 2 to 4 stages: hypomania, mania, interphase, and depression. Mania and depression are the most common ones in the 1st type, while the other two can occur or not, depending on the one's state and conditions.

- Hypomania makes people more agitated and active than usual. It mostly comes and goes unnoticed by a person themselves and their surroundings. It may look like having an extкemely good week.

- As for mania, it is much harder and deeper than hypomania. It can occur for a longer time (sometimes, for months or more). Here, we talk not only about energetic state, we actually talk about euphoria and hallucinations. In mania, people can suffer from audial and visual hallucinations. And in mania, people can often go through paranoia, megalomania, delirium, and other states.

- We need to step aside to check megalomania (type of delirium) since this symptom, in fact, occurs in Joseph's life mostly. Common cases of megalomania in bipolar if seeing yourself as God's prophet, God themselves, or any other "higher" and "better" being.

- Depression in bipolar is mostly like any other depression, depends on the person. In Joseph's case we can see depression in Far Cry New Dawn.

- Interphase (or intermission) is a phase when one's mind is in its clearest and healthiest state, showing us the real person behind their disorder.

- With all being said, Joseph's state of mind wouldn't allow him to be a parent. He often puts his megalomania before anyone. He grooms his own people into believing him, and if doesn't work, he actually uses physical force to do so or to punish someone (he poked person's eyes, I mean. And in Far Cry movie, he actually uses a gun).

- With his child, no matter the state of his mind, Joseph would be extremely neglectful. He would groom his child into believing that they must endure, that they must suffer in order to grow. It is simply because he wouldn't want to be bothered by caring about them.

- Joseph is delusional. He truly believes in his power. He truly believes in his prophecy. There is no way to toggle it around, no way to use 'a power of love' or anything else to make him stop. Unless you want to use a horse dose of meds.

- Joseph severely lacks empathy. Or actually has one, but really twisted. He cares and loves and feels sad… but only so far. He doesn't see any difference between his real family and his flock. He 'loves' everyone the same just like God does. But it, in fact, makes him not so caring and very uninvolved person.

- He would kill his child again if he feels this way, sadly. If he feels like God needs another offering, he wouldn't flinch.

- His child, just like his brothers, would be his weapon. He would use his child for the cause. He wouldn't be sad or angry if his child dies along the way, falls sick, or whatever.

- He would feel betrayed and angry, though, if his child would try to fight back and protect their boundaries. He would, in fact, hate it.

- While depressed or in his interphase, though, he would be a better parent. But it wouldn't last long, since most of the time we witness him being in a mania which means his manic phase lasts for months and even years.

- Still, without mania, he would be more attentive. Just like with John, he would scold his child and control them a bit, but he would do it in his soft manner. It still counts as something uncomfortable, but I guess it's better than manipulating and grooming.

- If you need a better understanding of how Joseph would treat their child, you can check Joseph's attitude towards John. It says everything.

And as for textual examples… well:

Joseph's hypomania side, context: grooming his child into his religion

"You see, God chose me for a reason," he sits crouched in front of his kid, smiling at them like a man possessed. "I will lead us all to a better future, my child. You're here because God sent you to help me," he reaches to caress their cheek. "Together, we'll make this world a better place. Isn't that lovely, my child? Isn't that what you want, too?" The kid, looking at him with awe, twitches uncomfortably under his gaze and nods. It makes him smile even more. He presses his brow against the kid's, closing his eyes. "I know it's hard. I know. But we must endure. This is our trial. And we won't fail it, my child."

Joseph's mania side, context: maniacal euphoria, megalomania outburst

"Don't you see?!" His voice shakes the walls of an empty church. He stands proud and tall next to the pulpit, staring down at his kid. They stand on their knees, head down, palms clasped in a prayer. His eyes are feverish, his gaze cold and soul-piercing. "This is what God intended us to do! Pray, my child, for the Collapse is coming!" Suddenly, he rushes to the kid, almost falling on his own knees before them, grabbing them by their shoulders as if to shake them. His voice drops to a hurried whisper. "I saw you standing before me as we march together to the Gates of Eden, my child. God chose us. You will not let him down. The world will burn. Leaders will run. But we will stand. You must stand. Pray now, my child. Pray for what's about to come. Because once it does…" he draws off, a smile creeping into his face.

Joseph's interphase side, context: explaining his child their place

"Hey now…" he smiles, seeing his child pouting from jealousy as they witnessed him hugging one of his flock. He takes them into his arms, raising them from the ground and turning his head to oversee his people moving about their days. "See, my child… God's love is unconditional. God loves us all equally. And from his love, he protects us, and he tests us, and he guides us. We all are God's children. And God taught me to love everyone the way he does. They all are your brothers and sisters. You all are my children. And I am your Father. And I love you just as much as I love them," he looks down at his kid, cradling them closer to his chest. "You mustn't be jealous, now. Remember the story I told you? About Cain and Abel?"

Phew. All three done! Thanks for your attention.

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Seeds as parents, pt.2

Analyzing Seeds and their parental abilities, John edition.

Now, please note: I only analyze each of them as a single parent, and I do it for fun. Also, I use mostly extreme/overreactive examples for better understanding

TRIGGER WARNINGS: child abuse, child neglect, cPTSD, unhealthy relationship related scenes

The next analysis victim is John. I don't think he's as half as easy and manageable as Jacob. If Jacob was just a not-so-good parent, with John, we're diving straight into toxicity and manipulations. After all, it was the only way he was able to survive for years. And, just like Jacob, he suffers from cPTSD, but it is way more open. He doesn't know another social model to use. Now, to the details:

- He's a kid-parent. A friend-parent. A funny parent. Until he's not. Even at his age (30-40 years old), he is still a child, really. He's observed as one by his own brothers. They functioned more like parents to him. He's not observed as an equal one by his family. If socially he has a high place and enough power, then inside of his family, he has the role of a son, of a youngling.

- It makes him a cool and chill parent. He won't be bothered being a strict one, he won't be bothered lecturing his child. But it also means he won't be good as a parent.

- In severe cases, it may lead to a role switch where a parent becomes a child, and a child becomes a parent.

- He's a big avoidant. He would hate to do anything relatively same his parents did. It would lead to a complete parenting mess and neglect.

- He's very expressive, and he is also unable to express his emotions in healthy ways. He needs to use someone as his outlet, he needs a target for his emotions, or he'll probably have the whole breakdown.

- He's easily angered. As we can see in a cutscene with Deputy's "interrogation", if you won't say yes, it'll only take him about 5 seconds to burst out, start cussing and literally flip over his desk.

- As we know from the Book of Joseph, he is very manipulative and a big of a liar. He learned to be extremely socially sneaky in order to survive. He is probably not able to perform an honest conversation by this point.

- Well, in the Collapse, he was as honest as he could, and we saw his emotional state of a total mess.

- He's physical. A lot. In every cutscene, he finds one way or another to touch someone, whether it's in inflicting pain or simply caressing to manipulate and force someone into an agreement.

- His instability is beyond any measure. I think some people would actually think he's narcissistic or has BPD, but he's not. It's just PTSD plus, basically, his personal traits of being emotional.

- It all leads to the next picture: overall, funny and cool parent with unpredictable outbursts of anger, hysterical state, meltdowns, or maniacal euphoria.

- Unlike Jacob, he is NOT a parent material. This type of person should not have a child, sadly. If not in therapy, John would really abuse his child, although not intentionally.

- John often mirrors his abusers, and he would, in fact, mirror himself into his own child as a victim.

And for textual examples:

John's cultist side, context: sublimation of the "Yes" trauma

"Ah-ah," John smiles, but somehow, this smile doesn't reach his blue eyes. "Now, we don't say no in this household, remember? We should always appreciate an opportunity by accepting it. Now, what should you say when Daddy asks you to do something?" "Yes, Daddy," his kid looks down at their shoes, avoiding his intense gaze. "Good. See? It's not that hard to be a good and obedient child. Your dad only wants the best for you, honey," his voice was so sweet, and his hand was warm and gentle on their cheek. He leaned closer, pressing a chaste kiss on their forehead. "Let's go."

John's unstable side, context: emotional outburst

"For fuck's sake!!" he yells, grabbing his own hair, his face twisting into a mask of rage. "Why can't you fucking leave me alone for a moment?! 'Dad, dad, dad'! What the fuck do you want from me?!" "But..." his kid stands there, all guilty and shaking with fear, but John can't really see them. Not in his state. "I wanna eat..." "Eat?!" He laughs in their face, straightening up. "Eat! Can't you fucking find any food on your own?!" It ends as suddenly as it started. He sobs and wipes his face with his palms, shaking himself. Feeling like a child again. Feeling scared again. "I can't... I just..." and as he shakes his head, he slowly falls onto a random chair, swallowing unwanted tears. "It's okay, Daddy," the child says, stepping closer and hugging his hanging hand. "I can find some food, and we can eat together." They smile at him patiently. Like a... parent. Fuck. He really is a fucking mess.

John's childish side, context: playful moment

"Ha! I won again!" He smiles proudly, throwing a controller onto the rug. The kid sits next to him and smiles back at him. "Yay! I wanna win next time." "Well, you better try harder!" He lunges at them and tickles their belly, making this child laugh and kick their legs.

John's normal side, context: advocating for his kid

"They didn't do anything wrong," John stands his ground, his posture open, his brows frowned. He doesn't like it when someone comes and tells his kid what to do or how to do it. And he dislikes even more someone scolding them. "John, for God's..." Jacob huffs and throws hands, clearly irritated. "You should stop messing around. It's a child. They need guidance. You'll spoil them rotten." "It's not a big deal! Right, honey?" He looks back at his child as if seeking some validation for his attempt to stand up for them.

Joseph's left. I'll add him later.

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Seeds as parents, pt.1

So, I often see Seeds as parents in my feed, and it made me want to analyze their parenting abilities. I was curious about it because, when we talk about Seeds, we talk about the traumas and broken personalities. And it affects parenting drastically, even if they don't mean it.

Now, please note: I only analyze each of them as a single parent, and I do it for fun.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: child abuse, child neglect, depression, cPTSD, unhealthy relationship related scenes

Starting with easy one here: Jacob. First thing first, we need to understand that Jacob, in fact, has cPTSD. His childhood traumas got mixed with his wartime traumas, and it makes a damn cocktail if you ask me. These are the details that would give us a better understanding of his parenting style:

- He'd be a strict parent. Classic conservative father type, but with a major twist.

- We need to keep in mind his cPTSD that, sadly, affects him most of the time. He's 40+ years old, with no therapy. This disorder often changes one's personality, and symptoms of one's disorder can override their ego.

- Which basically leads to him being an aggressive parent, in some cases (due to his flashbacks or triggers). It doesn't mean he'd raise a hand, no, he still has his childhood experience preventing him from being physically aggressive. But it means he could snap and punish his child, and sometimes he could do it for no actual reason.

- His state of health also makes him severely depressed. We're talking about high-functioning depression here: he's still capable of performing socially. He works a lot, and he carries tons of duties. But when he feels safe about doing so, he relaxes and lets out his depression. We can actually see it in the Book of Joseph when his broken post-traumatic mind led him to lie in one spot for hours and cry and shake from flashbacks. More about depression, rather than PTSD, we can see in the Collapse where he tries to commit s#icide.

- So yeah, it means that, with his kid, Jacob would be a depressed parent as well. He wouldn't keep a facade that he keeps outside of his house and family. He would be broken. Sometimes, he would come home and not communicate with his kid, unable to do so. Sometimes, he would sit in the living room for the whole night long, unable to sleep. Sometimes, he would drink.

- Still, Jacob remembers his own past, even if vague at some points. He was the one to protect John, he was the one to take parenting responsibility over his brothers. But his role was more about a protector, not a caregiver.

- It means that Jacob, in fact, lacks parenting warmth. He would love his child, but this love would be unnoticed, really. It's the type of father who sends you a thumbs-up emoji when you say you love him.

- And now we need to remember his ideology. The one must be strong enough to survive. It means he would raise his child being strong. Even if it would mean forbidding them certain things in order to strengthen them. He would basically use the same tools he uses on his own men, but less violently and not too often.

- So, here how it would go: he would try to put his child into a lighter version of his trials every now and then. Sometimes, he would be too depressed to take care of his child, but he'd be sure his child would be fine, they were raised to be independent. Sometimes, he would snap at his child for being not strong enough, not good enough, or for any other reason, using them as an outlet for his traumas.

- Both cPTSD and depression share a common symptom: guilt. So yeah, he'd be choked on it all the time, but he often chooses to avoid looking too deep into himself and facing his guilt.

- He's still a parent, though. He has his happy moments and would for sure love his own child.

And here are the textual examples:

Jacob's cultist side, context: pet died

"Don't cry, little bit. Its purpose was to protect you, and it did well just as it was supposed to," Jacob's calloused hand touches the kid's cheek in an awkward parody of loving caress. "It wasn't strong enough to survive, but it fulfilled its duty. We should bid farewell and move on. You should grow and learn to be stronger. Better," his voice sounds rough and almost feverish in its manner. He stands up, withdrawing himself from the kid and looking down at them with a stern expression. "You'll raise yourself another wolf. A better one. You won't make the same mistakes that you did with this one, and maybe the next one won't die doing its job. Come now."

Jacob's depressed side, context: insomnia

He sighs, staring at the fireplace. He feels numb, both physically and emotionally, sitting on his armchair for hours so far. It feels like a lifetime passing by, but at the same time, it's like he's here for only a minute or two. He knows he's a failure. He wants to fight, but the battle is over for years now. And here he is: left broken, cast aside. A tool.

When he hears footsteps approaching, he doesn't even flinch. He recognizes the sound of his own child, a testimony of his failure as a human being. He wishes the kid was never born. Not because he hates them, but quite the opposite. He loves them too much, and he knows the world he lives in is not good enough for them. He is not good enough for them.

"Dad? Can't sleep again?" This tone in his kid's voice is so mature for their tender age. He almost feels sick knowing that he was the one to force them to grow up too fast.

"Go to bed," he lets out a growling whisper, unable to look at them. His tone leaves no space for the argument.

Jacob's aggressive side, context: assembling a gun

"No. You're doing it wrongly. Again!" He commands, his hands twitching with agitation. Why can't this kid perform a simple fucking task? Is it really that hard?

"But dad, I'm trying..."

"I didn't raise you to talk back like that," he barks, grabbing one's shoulder just to let out at least a bit of his anger, "I said: again."

He ignores their solemn nod and quiet sob. They don't understand, not now. But they will. They will thank him for raising them as strong as resilient as he is. And as his kid assembles the gun for fifth time, he pushes down the urge to yell at them for failing yet again in such a simple, trivial even task.

Jacob's normal side, context: breakfast chatting

He chuckles to his child's silly shenanigans as he stands by a stove, making them breakfast. "You better get those pajamas changed into something decent, chirp. Unless you want to go out looking like a little pajama-goblin," he smiles at his kid with his teeth. The smile makes him almost young again, almost happy again.

"I'm not a goblin!" The kid says, smiling back at their father. "Besides, Uncle Joseph says, clothing is 'such a trivial thing to bother with'!"

The way his kid made a parody of Joseph's tone and words made Jacob bristle with laughter.

"Okay, okay, kiddo. Touché. You have a point here. But still, your old man is not as enlightened as Uncle Joseph. I'll give you five minutes, deal?"

Joseph and John will be analyzed next ( ﾟーﾟ)

[chizups]

My friend said "I was scrolling through your blog to see the progress of your fixations. This is fascinating: commission, commission, far cry 5, commission, far cry, far cry, far cry commission. Then we got you a Wisp Prime in warframe and it became far cry, Wisp, far cry, Wisp, Wisp, Wisp in far cry..."

Yeah. And it felt great x)

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I guess I was right about Far Cry 5 pushing my-special-game from it's place to make some space for itself, becoming my new special interest: a year almost passed since I started playing - too long for hyperfixation, yes? - and Seeds still sit comfortably in my head without a plan of leaving it seems. I'm fine with that.

I wonder if I will stuck on it for 15+ years like I did on a previous one though, heh :D

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Your vent post made me relate a little more to you. I, too, am from a family of psychology incest

but also physical abuse from family.

I want you to know that you're so strong and amazing, and your art is incredible, and you are making such good progress even just getting a diagnosis.

I know it's weird to get an ask from a random stranger saying this, but I'm very proud of you, and I'm rooting for you!

Thank you for your kind words. Though I wouldn't want anyone to be in the same situation, I won't lie: knowing that there are people who understands my struggle is somewhat uplifting, there's a long road ahead, it's easier to know some people already walked it and got better. I appreciate the support <3

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Guess who's back 👏 with a commission done for @kohvan

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Ancient Technology

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sorry, I posted the same photo twice

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My Seeds headcanons (I will not elaborate)

John doesn't hate Faith, he only hates himself for being/acting the same way in his past (drugs 'n stuff), but he directs his hatred towards Faith to sublimate

John is not a believer, but he doesn't think about it too much because he's scared of admitting it to himself due to his traumas

John's flirtatious behavior is a coping/protecting mechanism, and he doesn't really mean it, he's just using it to feel powerful or in charge

John is utterly childfree

John is not into regular sex actually

John's nose might be broken, therefore he can snore or whimper while sleeping

John also sobs a lot in his cutscenes, it seems to be a nervous tic or because he's nose is broken

Jacob gets hit on way more often than John

Jacob rolls his eyes all the time, especially when he needs to think

Jacob's libido is -100

Jacob is afraid of dealing with kids despite his experience

Jacob might actually be neurodivergent because he developed a high interest towards psychiatry and cynology after his traumas, and neurodivergent people often do this to cope with their past

Joseph is bypolar, not schizophrenic

Joseph is probably aromantic person (not asexual, tho)

Joseph treats everyone the same way despite their age, gender, or status (except for his family)

Joseph most likely tried drugs, but would never admit it or would brush it off as a divine experience

Joseph has no idea how kids and pets work

Joseph fully relies on John and Jacob when it comes to the documents and stuff

Joseph's probably lost his ID a long time ago

Faith is highly asexual

Faith might be in the spectrum since she steams a lot

Faith is uncomfortable with John

I like cats a lot ok bye!

[chizups]

January of 2024: Problems with concentration. May be ADHD? I need to investigate...

January of 2025: Diagnosed with depression, autistic, childhood trauma #1, childhood trauma #2, childhood trauma #3, constant tears, married friends are triggering, lack of interest, anxiety, etc. etc.

I've drawn it as an addition to a fairly SFW art community page, and all of my will needed to be involved for me not to write in big bold letters that those childhood traumas are sex related (passive and phycological incest, I was ok physically)💀 My investigation started in January of last year, but the reveal came just few days before New Year, and since then I was finding out things about myself one after another. And that reveal was too big for such a small amount of time I think.

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3am

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comissions?

closed atm

ask again next month🙏

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Couldn't shake off the feeling that Jacob looked a bit too goofy for my liking, so I decided to change a few things, and then reimagining of the nose happened. For the best I guess, bc now he looks more like his brothers. Hopefully. Not sure why I drew it so different to begin with, hm...

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Today I barely drew, but still male!Wisp just as a concept? Would be quite a model, I imagine.

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I wanted to fit small Joseph into the picture, but I started overthinking it and eventually decided against adding him. John is just fine on his own here, yes?