#beans have a bad autism feel

[its-spelt-hermaeus-mora]

Joy: I’m so hungry i will eat literally anything

Hoxton: Beans?

Joy: I would rather starve

[borom1r]

unwillingly learning things abt Game of Thrones from ppl I follow (said w all the affection in my heart) and having to fight for my fucking life against the urge to finally watch it bc ik if I do I will wind up like

[nu1lst4rs]

doodled human designs for a few neutral aus! (pt.1)

(click for better quality)

can you tell i lost motivation... thank you to chandr for doing the last 3's lineart for me. legit couldn't get freshs colours to fit with the rest. eugh. its the best you're going to get out of us for these guys.

Nightmares gang, star sanses, neu au pt.2, extras

COLOUR, CLASSIC, PAPYRUS, EPIC and ANY REQUESTS will be in the next neu au post 3_^ so please please request me to draw neutral peoples... gonna open general requests in a separate post.

some hcs under the cut!

warning for alot... i mean.. alot of text..

> Ccino (he/they)

indian... ccino... mbghbgb. MAINLY BECAUSE I WAS EATING GULAB JAMUNS AND I WAS LIKE "huh this reminds me of ccino."

trans masc! you should be more surprised if someone wasn't trans at this point

just for individuality, i feel like he'd have cat features. toe beans, tail, but no ears. personal preference.

hopeless romantic. wants to fall in love so bad, like so bad. but doesn't have anyone to fall in love with.

his AU is a neutral where the player killed all bosses. because of this, ink had offered them a pocket AU with just their cafè. ccino still visits their old au from time to time, but otherwise lives in the cafè.

one of the youngest AU's/sanses, only a few hundred years old

> error (he/they/xe)

spanish + colombian

as a divergence from classic, he maintains a similar body shape. also the fact he eats nothing but chocolate.

^ similarly, his eye is covered by a star glitch. xe never equates this to the fact they were geno, and just see it as some weird cool glitch.

rocks an alliance with both NM and dream, so wears both the stars pin and gangs patch. he always choses the side of who benefits him the most in that moment. neither of the groups are happy about it, but see error as too valuable to deny.

has arthritis and bad joints. his strings usually dig into his fingers, causing scaring and pain. (bsp related: he gets taught how to relieve these pains by nms gang because they all have chronic pains of some kind)

taking strings from his eyes is PAINFUL. its basically his unraveled code and magic combined, glitching and stuttering.

illiterate. he cannot read anything but code.

brother of ink. annoying brothers that HATE eachother. but love eachother at the same time.

> cross (they/he)

spanish. it fits him. and its relatively canon.

cross is indecisive. they've jumped between nightmares gang and the stars several times, easily being swayed. as of my AU right now, they're with the stars.

they're colourblind! their AU was monochrome, and thats how they see everything. everything is just a shade of purple. he's never told people about it, but most people catch onto ir.

autism. cross has horrible sensory issues, and gets overwhelmed easily. also bad at social queues.

THIS MAN IS THE DEFINITION OF DOG POETRY. they would go on pinterest daily and cry about it.

is a great artist. ink taught him the basics when they were stuck in the void, so they built on it. they're really self conscious about it, and keep their sketchbook locked away tightly. (in their bedside drawer)

> reaper (he/him)

egytpian. i feel like he'd embody their idea of dying.

bird claws. bird wings. everything bird.

seen as a parental figure to dream and nightmare because of his extensive knowledge of the universe and balance n all that.

(THE GAY FLAG WAS A MISTAKE) he's bi. and loves his wife. (life)

aroace spec! completely ace, and demiromantic.

sorry guys i dont have the best hcs for him 💔

> geno (he/they)

spanish + colombian

needs a portable oxygen tube to breath. he can live without it, but its really painful to not have it.

some parts of his body are decomposed, while others are held together through determination. practically constant agony.

same reasoning as error for body shape.

> fresh (they/it)

parasite. its ass doesn't have a race nor nationality.

not the hotest with a few sanses. dream and nightmare don't like someone demeanour not being affected in the slightest by the amount of pain and agony they're in. error hates how the code overlaps and glitches. and overall they're just a bit crazy.

wears either heelies or rollerskates. refuses to EVER walk anywhere, and always rolls.

i don't got much for him.

eugh. i am so sorry if the hcs are lazy, i am not good hcing with aus im not familiar with. if anyone wants to input please do! i'd love to learn about them. <3 anyways i am sleeping because i need to stop staying up till 4am..

[multydoodles]

what your favourite twst character says about you v 2.0 

Grim: Cat parent. You saw those little beans and now you're willing to be yelled at 5am over tuna cans

Ace: Morally you're correct- but objectively your taste in men is bad.

Deuce: Math is not hard you're just neurodivergent!

Epel: Hello found family enjoyer, I'm sorry your parents suck so bad.

Jack: Dog person or wolf girl. Probably both.

Sebek: This a given from the guy that talks about one thing only but I'm gonna assume you're not neurotypical.

Ortho: Hello gifted child that got pressured to mature too quickly, hows life treating you now?

Riddle: Riddle fans have the best aesthetic but the biggest issues.

Jade: Sadist, just sadist. You cant tell me you dont have a little enjoyment on seeing strangers struggle.

Floyd: You expect me to say masochist but no; deficit disorder.

Silver: Narcolepsy, get medication you cant keep it affect you.

Ruggie: I'm gonna trow a shot in the dark and assume you're the middle child.

Jamil: Yes hes beautiful, we know. 

Kamil: I say this with the deepest concern I can show trought text; Get a diagnosis.

Azul: There is not a single cis cell in you if you tell me the guy with body image issues is your favourite.

Malleus: the meanest and most agressivee people in this fandom that want to live their perfect life with this man. I wish them nothing but the best, you go to hell doing exactlty what you love.

Leona: Allarming depression but great morale at least?

Rook: Strongest bitches in this fandom and I say it with fear.

Vil: lesbian, even if you're a man. Congratulations queen.

Lilia: The most traumatic & heartpulling fanfic writers you will ever lay your eyes on, masters of the craft.

Idia: You need to serve to things for begin an Idia fan; cunt & autism.

Trey: Basic bitch, and I say that with love.

Carter: self asteem issues or tiktok user, no in between

Crowley: Do not fuck the headmaster, it will not end well for you

Crewel: Ignore what I said previously, if you need a sugar daddy this who you go for.

Trein: When Glorious Masquerade dropped you were the happiest people in the room

Sam: I have this inch that you have very strong feelings about the Fairy Gala event.

Chen'ya: I get it, you're quirky & not like the other girls. Ever wondered why nobody wants to hang out with you?

Neige: Still waiting for that RSA content are we? 

Rollo: I know this is a given with this guy but you cant tell me those eyes don't scream religious trauma

Ferro: Stop. trying to fuck. the scam artist.

Gideon: Another shot in the dark, but you're the older sibling.

Mellanor: You want to be stepped on so bad dont you?

Baur: I would advise to not call him a gilf but you probably already have.

Dawn Knight; Really? Your favourite is the Link with armor?

Eric Venue: You will not see the gates of heaven.

[soullessjack]

listen i get your frustration about how people treat jack, i hate when people reducd him down to just a destiel baby too. but as an autistic person myself, i really disagree with you calling people that like baby jack ableist. he's canonically 4 years old and had to have his childhood basically stripped away from him due to how dangerous it was. i don't think people enjoying the thought of him getting to have that chance at a happy childhood is as cruel and evil as you seem to think.

hi, I’m actually going to answer this differently than I did at first, because I feel like I missed the point and spent way too much time on the canon logistics of “giving Jack a childhood that he chose to skip and is never shown to want,” or that he’s actually pretty obviously portrayed as a teenager in the show, or that his character fundamentally revolves around autonomy & the struggle to have it, and not enough on the actual ableism. I’m also going to be a lot meaner this time, sorry.

honestly, you don’t get my frustrations. you don’t get that this isn’t some petty fandom drama about “muh fav being misunderstood” or “grr this content bad.” you don’t get my frustration if you think that’s all there is to any of this. this is something with an actual bearing on reality and the entire topic of representation in general, which you’d get if you took your head out of your ass and looked around for once. autistic people are still immensely underrepresented and misrepresented in most mainstream media. we are still seen and treated as circus animals, as punchlines, as lesser humans if not subhumans, and we have to face that alongside navigating a world that is wholly and systemically unnavigable to us. fiction and fandoms are an escape for many people, but especially marginalized people who long for community and representation.

the autistic community has a pretty long history of resonating with nonhuman characters in fiction over time, from robots to aliens to monsters in horror movies. because whether it’s their mannerisms or specific struggles or even narrative experiences, they resonate with us. jack resonates with us. he’s important to us as autistic people—and namely, as autistic adults who very rarely see ourselves represented in ways that don’t depict us as gross man-children, infantilized precious beans or emotionless geniuses. in fact, the very notion that autistic people are inherently childlike or mentally children directly leads into our sole representation being children, and even more into the treatment of us as “precious small beans.” does that ring any fucking bells to you yet?

jack might not have been intentionally written with autism or representation on mind, but this fandom literally builds itself up on coding and unintentional implications. he was also confirmed to be autistic anyways, so anyone still whining should just grow the fuck up about it. also, ironically, most accidentally autistic characters end up being the best kind lmao. but these discussions? these analyses by autistic fans —and even just fans who actually care about his complexities — only exist within our own little circles, and the idea of baby!jack is very much the fandom’s steadfastly going mainstream version of him—so much so that people are convinced it’s actually canon, they die on that hill like it’s some obligation to uphold. and any viewing of his canon character with nuance or complexity, or even his basic personality, is left to gather dust. it stops becoming people having fun when it’s over-saturating and supersedes actual canon. it stops becoming people having fun when it’s actually fucking harmful.

it’s frustrating as a general fan, but downright upsetting as an autistic fan who sees themself in him and has to witness every fucking day — in a community that prides itself on being a big found family no less — the infantilization of traits I and other autistic people express, and the stubborn justification of him being “actually a toddler” with even more autistic traits. There are literal scraps of canon adult Jack content to engage with; of any semi-intelligent thoughts on him to indulge in.

what you don’t get (or you refuse to get) that there is a direct correlation between all of this, the way jack is treated (ie ‘reduced to a destiel baby’) and the ableist infantilization surrounding his character. as in, this content directly feeds into his treatment, which then feeds back into the content made of him, which then feeds back again into his treatment in a horrible and exhausting cycle.

what you don’t get is that constantly regurgitating content where the baseline is jack being actively stripped of his identity and autonomy for the sake of becoming an accessory to Destiel/Sastiel/the Domestic Winchester Family is inherently rooted in layers of deep ableist rhetoric, and you can perpetuate all of that even without any intent for it. I’m not a fucking moron, and I’m not the big bad guy you’re talking to me like. I don’t think anyone who enjoys baby!jack is inherently “cruel” or “evil,” or turning jack into a baby while thinking “this’ll stick one to those retards,” and twirling their moustache, okay? and it’s really so funny to me that you’re trying to point the finger back at me. at least you tried.

what you don’t get is that whenever autistic fans voice our perspective on baby!jack, we’re fucking ignored. we’re fed the same rotten slop over and over and over again. “But we want him to be happy!” “But it’s an AU, it’s not canon!” “But he actually is a baby because XYZ!” “But, but!” Buts are not an argument, they’re the thing you still haven’t found a way to pull your heads out of. maybe the lack of oxygen from so many people in one small dark space is why you’re so fucking stubborn to understand this.

you wanna know what is cruel? being told that you are doing something hurtful, something harmful and something that painfully reflects real life struggles a real community goes through, and shrugging it off. being aware of the value something brings to someone else, and stripping it away simply because it doesn’t matter to you personally. finding another But or a corner-cut to excuse yourself from blame. you didn’t have the decency to listen when general fans said “hey this is kind of annoying can we treat him like an actual person,” and you don’t even have the decency to concede when autistic people are saying this is a deeply wrong thing to do.

if you have to ignore an entire community’s voice to feel better about the content you’re making that directly hurts them, if you don’t personally think it’s harmful or even real because autistic struggles are never real, then I am well within reason to assume you’re not a good person. it’s one thing to do something wrong because you’re uninformed, and it’s another thing entirely to continue to do that when you’ve been informed, and simply decided that it wasn’t worth changing or stopping.

believe me, as an autistic person I am well used to being isolated, to not being anyone’s priority in this capitalistic circle of hell. I am ready to expect my struggles and existence to be tokenized for somebody else to feel good, or squeeze money from. Im used to seeing movies portray my experience as some Manic Pixie Star-seed or creepy overgrown child. I know the world doesn’t care about me. But I don’t think I’m asking too much for this, the big found family fandom that’s been shown to care so much about every other problem, to care about me. To listen when it’s hurting me, or uplift something I care about.

I don’t think I’m asking for anything less than this family to actually treat me like I am part of it. But can you even do that?

[worldwidewebzy]

REGRETEVATOR HEADCANONS BOOOOO SCARY

Pest LOVES taxidermy, especially rouge taxidermy. Its a special interest of theirs and they've even tried some of it themselves. He's pretty good at it!!

Poob also likes taxidermy!! Though the specific process you have to do makes poob very squeamish and sick and icky,, (that being said poob IS NOT a uwu soft enby bean, they could kick ur ass lmao)

Poobians as a whole, are the embodiments of joy, happiness, and FUN!!!!!! They thrive off envoirments with high morale and general good vibes. Their population dwindles when said elements are scarce. If a poobian's mental health is hurt in anyway, that poobian's mental health will directly correspond to their physical health, causing the poobian to fall ill.

If a poobian falls to much into their pit of despair, they can "metamorphize" into a party pooper. Party poopers are the antithesis to poobians, thriving off of despair, sadness, and turmoil. Party poopers aren't inherently evil, but their nihilistic and melancholic nature can cause party pooper communities to be.. Not the healthiest space for anybody to be in.

Party poopers can remorph themselves into a poobian, but that requires extensive mental health intervention for that to happen. Depending on how much despair is in a party pooper, recovery can take as long as years.

To avoid this, poobians are a very social species. Full of many support systems ready to help any poobian! Though unfortunately, toxic positivity has been prevalent in some poobian societies. And there's a silent, but all to painful ableism riddled in poobian society as a whole.

Every poobian smells like their favorite food!

Pest has an EXTREMELY hard time empathizing, thanks to her undiagnosed aspd, npd, and autism. They also have an hard time realizing the concept of consequence and law. (this is pretty much canon expect for the autism part iirc but yeagh)

Gnarpy has IBS. Xe seem like a IBS girlie (gender neutral) to me do yuo understand

Poob HATES gender reveal parties with a passion.

mannequin mark and wallter... Do you hear me..

Gregoriah basks in light like a lizard

OK split pilby YURI SWAGGERR!!!

HOLY SHIT you guys have no idea how cornily, unconditionally, atrociously lovesick pilby is for split and i mean it

This dude's catapiller antennae form into hearts just thinking about split, absolutely cartoonishly in love with her.

They like having silly picnics where they eat apples and bananas (pilby looooves apples) go bird watching and just have a gay ol' time...

When they were first starting to know eachother pilby wrote """"anonymous""""" love letters to split, the letters in question were painfully obviously writen by them and it made split laugh and giggle. She didnt tell pilby that she knew they wrote those letters until after pilby confessed their love to them. That made pilby all bright red it was adorable

The confession in question was pilby performing a musical number about all the stored feelings they've been hiding for split all told through song and... It didn't go how pilby wanted to and kind of failed, but split still was genuinely blown away by it. She cheered pilby up when they commented how "bad" it was and kissed them on the forehead....... <33

Infected has a friend thats minecraft youtuber and yes they have a dubstep channel intro for it yknow the ones..

Gnarpy's form is a facade, like how invader zim has a human disguise. It acts like a shield, keeping gnarpy's (surprisingly frail) true form safe in a non gnarpian envoirment. It's designed to be conventionally "cute" to ward off suspicion, and increase trustworthyness.

Gnarpian govermentals are planning on making upgraded versions of these facades. Making them more unassuming. They're even planning "human" looking facades. It's fucking scary

mannequin mark and wallter make lampert together like constructed a child. Building blueprints AAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! hashtag yaoi swagger

MICHE IS A DRAG QUEEN HE IS A DRAG QUEEN

Miche is also swagapino and black as a people SWAG

Also miche isn't actually a cat he's very much like... Hes cat adjacent but his fangs are like the whiskers if a cat fish LIKE

The elevator has existed for as long as existence itself. Nobody runs it as the elevator itself is technically an living organism

Bive exists in quantum super position. She simultaneously exists in both FNARB, and the funny maze, it's only until a player enters either floor is where she stop existing in this superposition. Kinda like Schrödinger's cat. Schrödinger's conspiracy theorist

Bive is built like she was designed by dr suess

Unlike a red teddy, reddy is very much full of love :)

[calder]

"I'd use a bullet on myself, but with all these critters an' mobsters about it feels a waste, don't it?" -Clutch, about why he hasn't killed himself

Clutch Connors is a human male that can be found in the area south of Connors Farm. When approached he will bark a series of quips in a random order, sometimes based on player statistics.

"Razorgrain, rays-or-grain. Heh, yeah. I'll take the grain any day of the week.

Whatever happened to bullfrogs?

You jack off with that arm Mister Meaty? (If the Sacrificial Lamb has a Strength score of 7 or higher.)

'S okay pardner, I'm not much for books either. (If the Sacrificial Lamb's Intelligence is 3 or lower.)

Met a guy named Fallout once, ugly motherfucker.

What the fuck is a cow anyways?

I'm a centrist, 'cept when 'm not.

Don't ask me about roads.

War... What was it about war...?

Please, kill me. Just fucking kill me. Do it before the shmuck with the buttons makes you walk away. Please. (Has a rare chance of occurring if the Sacrificial Lamb has the Wild Wasteland trait.)

Clutch is involved in the quest Saint James Infirmary Blues and is one of the escaped patients the Sacrificial Lamb is tasked with rescuing, while the quest is active, you can speak to him and at first he will be apprehensive about returning, the player can either use a Speech check of 40 to convince him to return, or state that they'll take him there by force, after which he will become immediately hostile. If the Sacrificial Lamb has a Medicine skill of 70 or has Frankie in their party, they can determine that Clutch is not a danger to himself or anyone around him, but unless they can also get Weezel to confess to struggling with gender dysphoria and convince Rhonda Simmons to stop taking Day Tripper to hide her autism, the quest will not be marked as complete until they either kill him or convince him to go back to Dr. Rollins.

After the conclusion of St. James Infirmary Blues where he stays at the farm, Clutch will be hostile to any entities hostile to the Sacrificial Lamb in the area, and the player can initiate dialogue with him where he opens up about his struggles with suicidal thoughts and schizophrenia. After exhausting all dialogue options, every time the Sacrificial Lamb talks to Clutch, he has a chance to give a Fancy Lad Snack Cakes, Instamash, Pork n' Beans, Tin Can Grenade or Radweed Joint to them along with a random statement of gratitude.

Thank you for being my friend.

Thanks for not takin' me t' that funny farm.

Hey, I love you... don't make it weird.

Nobody's ever been that nice to me before, here, have this.

Hey, I like men too. (If the Sacrificial Lamb has the Black Widow perk)

Hey, I like men too... you're not my type, though. (If the Sacrificial Lamb has the Confirmed Bachelor perk)

From one motherfucker to another motherfucker, eh?

Hey don't tell Ma about this one. Heheh. (When giving a Radweed Joint)

If the Sacrificial Lamb instead takes him back to Dr. Rollins, he will be wearing a Patient's Gown and standing inside the New Unity Clinic, where if spoken to, he will normally be silent with the subtitles simply show "..." He has a small chance to whisper "Fuck you." and if the Sacrificial Lamb has the Wild Wasteland trait he can also say, "You know you'll lose Karma for this, right?" At the conclusion of the quest Bad Medicine, if Dr. Rollins is killed, he will sometimes stand over his corpse and talk to it with his arms crossed, regardless of if the Sacrificial Lamb kills Dr. Rollins or gets Ranger Sykes to arrest him, Clutch will eventually return to Connors Farm with his inventory reset, but will keep the barks from convincing him to return to the clinic.

Clutch's inventory contains a random amount of regular 10mm ammunition and one random special 10mm round (but he will have more if the Sacrificial Lamb has the Scrounger perk and kills him.) He is equipped with leather armor and a 10mm pistol. While staying at the New Unity Clinic, he is equipped with a patient gown and his inventory is empty.

Exhausting all of Clutch Connor's dialogue after completing Saint James Infirmary Blues without killing him or returning him to the clinic is essential to completing the Basket Case challenge and receiving its related perk.

Trivia

Clutch almost recites the classic phrase "War never changes." found throughout the Fallout series, but forgets the rest of the sentence.

His apprehension regarding the subject of roads may be a reference to players in Fallout: New Vegas being able to ask characters about the NCR-Legion conflict, where many of them will bring up the safety of roads. (citation needed)

His Wild Wasteland dialogue in the New Unity Clinic is a reference to Karma, a statistic that tracked the morality of players' actions in previous Fallout games.

Mister Meaty was the name of a puppet show that briefly aired on Nickelodeon from 2007-2008.

Glitches

Prior to Patch 1.03, Clutch would become immediately hostile to the Sacrificial Lamb upon starting Saint James Infirmary Blues.

Prior to Patch 1.17, Clutch would sometimes be dead of a gunshot wound if the Sacrificial Lamb approached him and then left Connors Farm without starting or completing Saint James Infirmary Blues. Using console commands to warp directly to the farm from the clinic will show that he was meant to be shooting at tin cans on a fence, but because the cans have no collision until picked up, if a caravan is walking by, he can hit one of the caravan guards, traveling merchants or pack brahmin, causing them to turn hostile and kill him before returning to their route.

Clutch will sometimes use the same combat barks as the Stargazer cultists or Infected Commandos

Clutch will sometimes say one of his perk or item dependent lines when giving the Sacrificial Lamb Pork n' Beans, regardless of if they have the prerequisite perk and not receiving a Radweed Joint.

If Dr. Rollins is spawned in front of Clutch after killing him during the quest Bad Medicine using console commands, he will still talk to him as if he was dead.

this seems to be an entertainment-oriented article for a bunch of fallout that doesnt exist. i have no idea of the context or joke but this was a fun read, thank you !

[daanisnotcrazy-orishe]

I've been thinking a lot about the possibilities of non-religious convents, like, places where you can go to live in a group and you do repetitive manual tasks and in exchange you get basic housing and food. And I'd even take the "not allowed any possessions" as long as I can use shared resources to craft. And then I figured that probably I'm thinking of a sheltered workshop or group home and I feel bad for wishing I could live there BC they're specifically for people who can't work/live in other ways. And technically I can. And I really think I would thrive in such a system/living place/workshop but I'll never qualify BC I have "high functioning" Autism and thus I can "contribute to society" (as if disabled people who live/work in such systems don't contribute to society) and am expected to by the government. I'm even expected to want to strive for the most difficult, high-up-the-ladder studies and jobs I can manage!!

But try to tell the government worker assessing my counselling and assistance needs that while yes I can do university if I get a lot of special treatment to help me though it I would do much better cracking walnuts or shelling dried beans all day and you get looked at as if you've suddenly turned into a slug.

[twilight-at-midnight]

High functional autism

Pairing: Edward Cullen x reader

Warnings: Slight bullying

Requested: @frzntrx

Request: Edward X High functioning Autistic (used to be called Asperger's) reader who loves reading and writing stories??? :) It's nice to see representation in media (Sheldon Cooper from BBT kinda puts people off, but other stuff like the Book "The Kiss Quotient" are more relatable!)

***

Out of all the classes you were enrolled in, you favored creative writing and debate most out of all others.

Study could be considered as another favorite, as you could take advantage of the time to either read or think of an idea for your short stories. You were a very talkative person as well, and sadly, that had lost you a few friends while others grew tired of you. That included the teachers, and teachers are supposed to be like your given ultimate protection from the mean kids at school.

You would speak almost non stop, the only friend that stood by your side was Bella Swan, she never once considered judging you just because of your diagnosis of High Functioning Autism. She was one of the few who didn’t and who could oversee that and be friends with you anyways. After Bella, Edward Cullen soon follows and he seemed to have taken quite an interest in you, and Bella couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous as she had always thought of him as handsome and wanted nothing more then to be with Edward. But at the same time, she couldn’t intervene because she just wanted happiness for the both of you. Just like Bella, Edward had felt as though he needed to protect you after learning of your diagnosis.

The thing was you were handing in your assignment for creative writing and after getting the best score out of everyone else, that’s where the teasing had started. Some even gave you the nickname, teacher’s pet and you couldn’t lie that it was hurtful. Bella nor Edward stepped into your defense because you haven’t said a single word about the hell you’ve been enduring through the school hallways of Forks High School. When they did find out, it was when they discovered you in the ladies room, quietly sobbing in case anyone walked by. Edward had a look of wordy, he couldn’t go in the ladies room without being seen, so Bella did and started talking to you, wanting to figure out what was wrong. Admittedly, you had wanted to be left alone at first when you were found, but Bella wasn’t having any of it as she remains there until you’re ready to tell her what’s going on.

It took a few moments to gather your thoughts before spilling the beans completely about your school life, the teasing and bullying along with everything that’s been going on. Bella was not too happy of course that you hadn’t report this to her or Edward and what set her off was the showing of your grade from creative writing course and when she reads over it, she was now really upset about this, so much so that you were beginning to feel bad about telling the actual truth, than you started apologizing.

Bella stops talking your ear off once she heard the apology.

“Are you serious? This is why you’ve been teased? What the hell is wrong with people?!”

“I’m sorry..” you say quietly, Bella than looks your way.

“Don’t be, it’s not you. It’s them and it always will be them. You’re very strong and capable of extraordinary things, things that had given you something most people don’t have, you were one of the few lucky ones. It makes you quite unique, I love your short stories and the way you pick a book to read to me and Edward on the lawn during lunch hour. You may be a talker, but there’s no need to worry when it comes to talking to me. Don’t listen to them, okay? They just don’t know the real you.”

You slowly nod in agreement while taking her outstretched hand to pull you to your feet and follow back out behind her.

It was almost startling to see that Edward was waiting for you.

“What’s going on?” He asks.

“Nothing now, everything is okay.” Bella lies.

“Nothing now, I just had a bad day is all. Everything is fine now.” You say, backing Bella up on her lie.

Later on that night, something would happen to make everything change.

You had followed Bella to town along with two of her new friends as they were there to pick out dresses for the prom. You weren’t paying any attention until Jessica had mentioned your name, confronting you about it.

“Are you even listening,(Y/n)?”

It was a little embarrassing, because you didn’t have a book with you to read and you didn’t want to find yourself talking so much to the point these people would walk away like the rest have done in the past.

Jessica and Angela had no idea of your diagnosis, and they were a bit impatient with you. Looking up at them, you see Jessica in a beautiful lavender dress and you sincerely thought it looked head over heels beautiful on her. All it really was incredibly stunning, so much so that she shouldn’t have to try on anymore dresses.

“Of course! I love that one on you, it’s very pretty.”

“If there’s something else you’d rather be doing, you’re welcome to leave and meet us back at the restaurant for dinner as planned.” Jessica says.

“Will do. Um.. there’s actually a book I’d like to go and pick up from a nearby store.”

“Want me to come with?” Bella offers.

“No, I’ll be fine.”

After walking out of the store, you started making your way back to the restaurant, and part of that route goes through a sketchy dark alley that didn’t quite feel safe to walk through. Even if you weren’t alone, it gave anyone and eerie feeling not to go through it.

You were going to bravely continue in the alley, until you saw some creepy homeless dudes messing around with a pack or two of beers in hand. On instinct, you quickly turn to go the other way, or at least, you tried to from the sketchy men. The red flags started showing when they spot you before getting over closer to you, making unwanted advances towards you. With your diagnosis, it was often difficult for you to fight alone, but you wouldn’t give these disgusting homeless men the satisfaction in becoming vulnerable to them, you wanted to fight back and that’s exactly what you were going to do. After the first advanced had taken place, you were more furious than you were at all scared.

“Don’t touch me!” You snap, trying to back away.

The men started surrounding you, making remarks.

“Where do you think you’re going? Come with us, we’ll show you a good time!”

That’s when you got scared and really tried to fight them off. What saved your life was the sound of tires screeching as an unrecognizable car pulled up with Edward existing it.

He demands you to get in the car, which you do.

“Get in the car.” Edward orders firmly as he walks over to the men.

You watch from the passenger’s seat as Edward scared them off with a death glare that read, “If you hurt her, you will have to deal with me.” It was impressive to say the least, though Edward scared them off by dominating the situation, he climbed back in the car furious and nearly ran over one of the men who laid a unwanted hand on you.

Edward quickly sped off, right on out of there with you safe and sound. That was a night neither of you would ever forget. The situation was like a roller coaster and you wanted nothing more than to forget about it, but you would always be grateful for Edward getting there in the nick of time. After the incident, you used part of the scenarios in your short stories and had given them to Edward to read. He loved the effort you had in writing, and wanted you to write some more sometime while sitting on the lawn with both Bella and himself during lunch hour and read to them.

You read them aloud the book you had bought from that very store. Living with high functional autism was not always difficult, best friends made it not seem so difficult. In your case, you had two best friends that you were closest to, and everyone knew it. Those friends were Edward and Bella, they were always there for you.

That was all that matters, you no longer didn’t care what others thought.

***

@twilight-at-midnight

Tags: @frzntrx

NOTE: I hope you enjoy! Thank you for requesting this and I hope I did it up to your expectations! Feel free to send in another request! ❤️

Requests: open

Characters:

• Carlisle Cullen

• Edward Cullen

• Jasper Cullen

• Emmet Cullen

• Riley Biers

• Benjamin

• Vladimir

• Alice Cullen

• Rosalie Cullen

• Bella Swan

• Aro

• Caius

• Alec

• Jane

[chaosmushroom]

I feel like I’m in a weird phase where I keep switching in between functioning almost like my autism and tics barely affect me to feeling I am overwhelmed with them and wanting to be out of the house as little as possible. Weirdest part is I feel like I haven’t noticed it until now.

Reading that back I suppose that is more or less normal, but for some reason I just feel like I experience it differently to how I see most people talk about their disabilities I guess?? Mind you it’s only so comparable between all the types of disabilities but yeah.

I just spent the last few weeks of the semester being busy with uni stuff, and I felt like I was able to take care of my sensory issues and control the tics despite the fact they were being issues. Now that I have time to do everything at my own pace and stay home, I feel like I have less capacity to deal with them but they are behaving?? I think with the autism it is me masking is a part of it, I don’t need to mask at home. The tics are just weird though, I don’t really have them at home. Unless I do something to prompt them they are just gone, but at the same time I don’t feel like I want to deal with their shenanigans more than normal right now. I always feel quite bad about how opportunistic they are in public but that’s another can of beans this ramble does not need.

I think it is also because I’m in a privileged position and for me personally my disabilities feel minor compare to when I hear others talk about how they struggle with their disabilities. It’s not that I never struggle with them, but it just always sounds different?? Then again the people I care about mostly have their disabilities affect them physically unlike mine, so maybe it’s just because mine are all my brain being wacky??

Anyways I don’t know what the point of this ramble is and it’s getting kinda long if you are actually reading it (thanks btw). I think my conclusion here is I’m feeling alone in how my disabilities are affecting me, even though I know this is probably a relatively normal thing to experience for people in the same boat as me

(Also please note that is this just my personal experience with these things, so please don’t assume that what I am saying applies to everyone with these disabilities and their experiences!)

[brynnterpretations]

Hiii I loved how you wrote my oc Barry’s relationship with homelander 😭 now I gotta see who you’d ship me with 👀 I hope you get to this when you feel better, thank you

I’m a 23 year old bisexual 5ft3 mixed trans guy, I have curly brown hair, glasses, usually dressed comfortably/casually. Im a Taurus and an infp. I’m pretty shy with people at first but eventually I do love to talk, I’m very passive, and love to bottle up all my negative emotions, I’m reluctant to let my walls down. My sense of humor is pretty dumb offensive and immature, I’m described as weird (some of it’s the autism) funny and I love making people laugh. I’m a bit of a hypochondriac who can turn into a scaredy cat. I like drawing and writing, I aspire to be a novelist. I love listening to music and going on walks. My favorite food is french fries. My favorite movies tend to be action/horror/comedy, I like all music but favorite music genres are rock and pop, i love musicals. I like dogs (and all animals) but I like cats more, though I’m allergic to cats, I bear through the pain. My love language is food and physical touch. My pet peeves are loud people, being interrupted, having my boundaries invaded.

I lean toward annie, hughie and butcher but I’m up for anyone ����

I ship you with...

Annie January ♡

Girlfriend

GIF Source: @humorblr ★ (link)

You and Annie meet at the nearby Jitter Bean after you ordered your drink of choice and sat down to write and sketch. Annie had exactly three hours and eight minutes to kill before a press conference, so she ordered an iced caramel latte, intending to read her latest romance novel (she's the #1 Sally Rooney fan after M.M. introduced her work to Annie) and avoid eye contact with anyone who might know who she was.

But, then... she spots you. And, let's be real: you're her exact type physically (and emotionally, but we'll get to that later). Curly hair? Check. Comfy clothes? Check. Thoughtful demeanor? Check.

So: she thinks you're really, really cute, and running off of very little sleep for a Supe, Annie takes a seat next to you and sparks up a conversation about what you're working on.

Whether you're guarded or open about it, Annie listens intensely and doesn't pry, and it eventually leads to you bonding over a shared love of music: Annie is a huge pop-punk fan, and with your interests in rock and punk, you all have a lot of intersection.

Once you reach a comfortable end of the conversation, Annie gives you her number for "workshopping purposes".

You guys text nonstop over the course of two weeks before Annie takes the initiative to ask you out on a date after you talk about her career as Starlight. She really, really worries that it's a dealbreaker for any romantic suitors — nobody wants to be under scrutiny 24/7 and have to regurgitate Ashley's PR lines when the news breaks of a "hot new couple" — but trusts you when you reassure it's not an issue.

Annie invites you out on your first date to go on a wak at High Line Park, and it's a breath of fresh air: both figuratively and literally. The fall weather is beautiful, and you're one of the first few people since her induction into the Seven to treat her like a person and not some Christian, all-American poster kid.

Annie tries to avoid too casual of dates in the pre-relationship period, so, over the course of two months, puts a lot of effort into them, even if they're more chill than others, such as going to your favorite restaurant, surveying art museums, going to Jitter Bean and drawing together (which she is phenomenally bad at, but you reassure her enough that she gains enough confidence to do more than a stick figure, so bless your soul), and going out to the movies, where you two always fight over who will pay. She's got that Vought money, bro.

She empathizes with your resistance to your walls being broken down, and doesn't push as hard as Frenchie might have, but does still inquire about your life, any negative feelings you're having, etc. It's when you open up over a late-night text conversation, Annie realizes just how much she likes (loves?) you, and asks if you'd like to be together.

And, when you are...

You are being paraded around NYC, even with Annie's objections. Sorry. Ashley really is pushing for more positive press regarding Supe-civilian relations, and you two have become her cash cow.

Both you and Annie love food, but she has a more negative relationship with it due to her mother—and it being your love language genuinely helps her heal from that. She starts a pretty average cook, but she learns to improve for you, and by the six-month can make your favorite meal pretty decently.

She did accidentally set her stove alight once, though, but we won't talk about that.

And, on that note, you know how the singer Lorde had an account dedicated to rating onion rings? You and Annie share a foodie account dedicated to specifically rating French fries, as she is a huge fan of French fries and potatoes in general (me too, girl). It's great and honestly really cute, though you did disagree with the quality of the fries up in Manhattan.

Annie loves your sense of humor: it's like a healthy balance between Butcher and Hughie, with a lot less cruelty coming from Butcher's side, and due to her entire life basically being a PR-sanitization, admires how much you can commit to the bit and just say whatever.

Annie has a lot of experience with hypochondria, as her mother is a hypochondriac, too, and Annie helped her manage the worries and anxieties that come from it. She's always there for you whenever your anxiety spikes up, and also does things that reassure you: making sure it's obvious she washes her hands before preparing you food, keeping medicine on stock, even buying you fancy supplement pills that ward off sickness which she takes to stay on her A-game as a Supe, etc.

Since you aspire to be a novelist, she always encourages you to share your ideas with her, while also being respectful of your boundaries. Her ventures into books were very recent (she just hadn't really had the time for them before) so she loves hearing your opinions on novels, your writing process, and so on and so forth.

You two are both very fond of animals — Annie actually spends her Saturdays in civ-clothes volunteering at Animal Care Centers of NYC. Once you've both already had very extensive (but theoretical) conversations on your ability and willingness to adopt an animal, she adopts you a Siberian cat for your one-year anniversary due to their hypoallergenic nature.

And, lastly, a very cute last side note: she says I love you after your one month anniversary, and immediately feels terrified that she opened up too late. One amazing, sweet kiss from you, and she knew she didn't.

The Boys ☻

Friends

GIF Source: @minilev ★ (link)

Annie is very hesitant to introduce you to the Boys. While she trusts you and is as transparent as possible with you about her work, she doesn't want it to somehow get you into more trouble than it's worth.

However, about four months into your relationship, she decides it's about time. Hughie, who she remained in a purely platonic relationship with, really wanted to meet you, and everybody else was pretty curious about who was making her so happy—really, since you two became official, she was visibly more happy in the safe-house.

On an off-day where everyone was just doing paperwork, she brought you in, introducing you by your name and your relationship status. Everyone was pretty polite, barring Butcher ("oi there, cunt"—OK, dude), with you and Hughie probably being the ones to talk the most, though it was a tad awkward due to your communication styles.

However, as Annie said you could come around as much as you'd like when there wasn't any imminent danger, you became good friends with the lot.

Kimiko and Frenchie really, really like you; Frenchie loves that you write, being an incredible writer himself, and Kimiko loves that you draw, being an incredible artist herself. The second or third time you come into the office, you three stay up until 3 A.M. talking about books, art, and movies.

You hang out with them the most of the boys because of your aligning interests and Frenchie's ability to keep a conversation flowing with little awkwardness. With you, Kimiko, and Frenchie, it's mostly in the safehouse, but it's so enjoyable and laidback that nobody can complain.

You, Kimiko, and Annie actually go out to cheap take-out restaurants every two weeks or so (Frenchie excluded not for any animosity, but just because Annie talks to Kimiko a lot more), and it's pretty fun, though Kimiko did get insane food poisoning for a Supe once and swore off the ventures for two months (RIP).

Butcher likes you a lot, despite your relationship with Annie. Honestly, if it weren't for your humor, he probably would've been more hostile to you, but he senses you're a chill guy and likes that you can banter. He invites you out for drinks every so often, and while they do end up in both of you throwing up in the bathroom, they tend to be decently fun.

Also, you got to see him do an offensively bad karaoke rendition of "Rebel Yell" by Billy Idol and subsequently be drunkenly threatened to never share that with anybody else, so... that's got it's perks. Not a lot of people have seen that, friend.

You told Annie, though. You also video-taped it. Then, you showed that to Annie. She will never tell Billy for your sake, but every time he gives her grief, she thanks God she witnessed him doing a borderline worm-move to the chorus.

You and Hughie get along, but can have some stilted conversations due to you both being pretty nervous and shy. You know when you're talking to someone who's also neurodivergent, and you really like them, but you can't get a flow in the conversation without being worried you're being too loud, obnoxious, etc.? That's y'all.

However, when you keep coming around consistently, that eases up a lot. While Hughie doesn't share too many interests with you, you talk about your own interests in a way that he can actually understand, and even get him into one single horror movie when he hates horror movies. Consider yourselfa. saint.

Lastly, M.M.: he likes you, but doesn't talk to you too much due to how busy (and pleasantly introverted) he is. It isn't until he sees a copy of a book you were carrying which he loved that he starts talking to you more than small talk, but he still considers you a friend, even if you guys aren't buddy-buddy.

And, when all the boys like you? That's a pretty difficult feat. Congratulations.

[borom1r]

hi so the chainmail sleeves on his fake hauberk for Fellowship start just above his elbow which means they made a second fake hauberk to go with the Gondorian armor that STILL LEFT BOROMIR'S AXILLARY ARTERY EXPOSED!!!!!!

like im on my hands and knees it wouldve been sooo easy to just extend the chainmail down just beneath the cuirass to provide the illusion of a full hauberk ESPECIALLY BC HES LIFTING HIS ARM OVER HIS HEAD!!!!!!!

also im obsessed with the leather accents on his undertunic that has gotta be SO sweaty

Who Let Him Out Of Minas Tirith Dressed Like This.

(I understand range of motion for an actor but there were better ways to do this from a character standpoint as well)

[sad-leon]

Hello! I hope you're having a good day!

So many people in my life seem to be going through something right now, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share anything you might be going through. Good or bad, as specific or as vague as you're comfortable with. Or feel free to ignore if you'd rather not. No pressure at all!

I hope things are going well for you! But if not, I'll be sending prayers your way if you're comfortable with that!

I am... not.

and i haven't for a long time

I'll preface this entire post with a warning: THIS IS A VENT POST the only tags will be trigger warnings

I thinks i've said it once or twice, but I started school this year. This is my first year in college after taking a gap year and also telling everyon i wasnt gonna go. I know jack shit about what im doing and its fucking exhausting. Theres so many things that i feel like I should know but dont because all the college information given out in my highschool was geared toward the college in that town specifically, which is not the college im going to.

I've also moved. im entirely on my own, physically and financially. I just met with my job and am starting very soon which is not good because my sleep schedule is all wrong. I may be switching jobs soon, but i can't just quit becuase, like i said, im on my own.

and those are only the big two. lets speedrun this. my anxiety, my autism, i need new glasses, my feet hurt more than i think they should, im a system, my eating disorder, my aversions that make it hard to drink the water up here, the burnout, the exhaustion, executive dysfunction, i also likely have adhd which mean rsd. im touch starved and touch adverse

those are just what i can think of off the top of my head

but all of this had been leading to what might be a pretty nasty breakdown and soon.

im so fucking tired all the time and that makes it hard to draw, but thats one of my only ways to relax. i like playing mc, but i get bored easily and also i cant sit at my desk for long becuase it feels like my head is too heavy for my neck. it hurts. everything hurts and my job doesnt help me at fucking all.

i was able to draw tsob while dealing with most of my issues becuase all i had to worry about was work. looking at my current schedule, i can find the free time. the issue is using that freetime to draw and not just sleep or dissociate. finding home is very dear to me, but drawing it the way i am can be exhausting and i dont want to start hating it, so i just.. dont draw it most days

i stress constantly about how i appear on my blog becuase i want so badly to do this right. i want to be good at something, like, as a person, not just as an artist. but i hate myself too much to believe in any progress i make.

i know its the rsd mostly but i see groups and i feel gross. its not as bed now (any of you beans that have made it this far, ily /p) becuase i found a community i can actually interact with, but it still comes up, especially because i've moved away from all my irl friends and its so fucking hard for me to make them in the first place. like.. actual friends, not just people i can work with at school

if i keep going i'll probably talk myself in circles, so ill stop it here. theres a lot more but im not going to ramble about my suicidal, intrusive, or sh thoughts on this blog. this is a post to inform you guys of the state of mind im in. im lonely and sad and its all building up to a massive breakdown.

im not going to be leaving tumblr or giving up on my comic, but i probalby wont update as often as i did tsob. i just dont have the energy.

i also will probably post some of my traditional art cuz i gotta fill up a sketchbook for my animation class, so that also takes away from the time i use to draw digitally.

im so tired

[aliencatwafers]

Fawful headcanons [with my OCs involved] - PART 1

Fawful doesn’t trust many people and prefers to rely on himself. But once he gets attached to someone (ie: Cackletta, Midbus, RuV33n, Dark Star, Mitea), he becomes the most clingy bastard there ever was. Like, he will literally infodump to you, make stuff for you, and spend as much time as possible with you.

Fawful is a control freak. He’s studied people and their habits to know how they are likely to react (like Bowser’s Inside Story). He’s dealing with a memory that never forgets and mulls over past experiences. It comes in handy when he gets Bowser to a tee and needs to plan. But the downside is that Fawful struggles to let stuff go. Normal villain things like defeats or plans backfiring that dont bother most villains keep Fawful wide awake at night dissecting what happened.

Backstory

He was born in a small isolated village of Favaville. It was a hellhole since it once was made of people escaping from the Beanish Civil War hundreds of year ago. These Beanish found out that if a Beanish only absorbs rays from the Sun, their bodies melt onto the ground until they slowly die as bean trees. These trees are difficult to burn and destroy, so they made the perfect barrier to hide the village. These trees also provided bean fruits to feed the village for centuries. The issue was that the village had to sacrifice a third of the population to sustain itself. Criminals, disabled, and anyone who didn’t follow the rule’s were condemned to this fate. Fawful‘s parents became trees, but Fawful worked hard to follow the rules. He would pray at the town square as was expected.

Fawful was actually praying for the town to get destroyed. It didn’t occur to him that he could leave since he didn’t know if anything else existed outside the trees.

He broke the rules as much as anyone. Fawful stole trinkets from machines and blamed his peers so the elders would be more likely to condemn them to the trees (the elders kept a tally of who was good/bad). They made becoming a tree as a sacrifice for the common good (and the only good they’ll do).

Fawful is autistic to hell and back. He’s seen older autistic people be condemned to the trees, so he became a hardass on the rules and heavily masked/kissed ass to the elders for his safety. It worked.

His only friend was an elderly bread maker who gave him small bits of history, trinklets, and bread.

One day his prayers were answered...in the worst way possible. A band of survivor Shroobs demolished the town, killed everyone/fed them to a Yoob, and destroyed the trees. Fawful hid in the bread maker’s shoo but he got found out. A small group of Shroobs kept him alive and taught him Shroob.

Commander Shroob was pissed and ordered the Shroobs turn their back and kill Fawful. They almost did.

At the same time, Queen Bean exiled Cackletta from the kingdom on counts of treason and theft of the Beanstar.

Cackletta was from Favaville too (a long time ago) and travelled there to hide from the Beanbean government. She found the Shroobs about to kill Fawful and destroyed the Shroobs with her magic.

Cackletta thought about dropping Fawful off at an orphanage, but she felt bad about throwing him out after his home was destroyed. Cackletta feels shame that she felt bad at all, but justified it by seeing how good Fawful was with technology. She didn’t have the knowledge on what autism is, but she appreciates Fawful’s attention to detail.

Fawful is one of many on the long list of Cackletta’s pupils. He had the least amount of magic potential and strength but he more than made up for it with his technical skills and creativity. Even when the Beanbean Kingdom demonized him and blamed him for corrupting Cackletta, he merely laughed at everyone’s faces.

All of Cackletta’s pupils were privileged in some way (came from a noble family, rich, access to magic books, good family life, neurotypical). Fawful is the only underdog and unexpected pupil she’s had. But, he turned out to be her favorite since he was the most loyal.

When Fawful was in Favaville, he was exposed to nothing but bland food (cold watery oatmeal, overripe bean fruit, and cream of wheat). Spice wasn’t allowed since it was seen as sinful. Cackletta introduced Fawful to turkey and mustard sandwiches, and his entire world changed. He all of a sudden wanted to learn EVERYTHING about food. He studied a bunch of cook books in libraries and it boggled his mind. It inspired him to come up with food metaphors.

Cackletta quickly learned that she wasn’t fit to teach Fawful technology. She enrolled Fawful at Woohoo Hooiversity while she disguised herself as a professor/counselor to gather intel/gossip about the kingdom’s weaknesses as well as check up on Fawful.

Fawful worked alongside E. Gadd and they both made Stuffwell. Fawful wanted Stuffwell to be a weapon of mass intelligence and destruction. E.Gadd wanted Stuffwell to focus solely on science. Stuffwell chose E.Gadd

When Fawful was ready to graduate, he celebrated by setting the school on fire. When the school declined his diploma, he stole it and ran out of there.

After that dumb maneuver, Cackletta and Fawful hid out in Joke’s End.

Jojora befriended Fawful and respects Cackletta. They’ve had countless nights of drinking tea by the fire and gossiping/planning. Jojora has no intention of kingdom conquering, but she enjoys their company.

[snugglebeans3000]

I finally decided to post my beyblade OC!!! They’ve been sitting in my sketchbook for so so long, I should’ve posted it sooner but eH

Some HCs about them so you can get to know them better:

Elliot:

Can knit, however they’re only fond of making stuffed animals. They have a lot of projects going on that they never completely finish because they have a bad habit of picking up projects on the fly. However, when they’re done, you can tell that it’s made with love and detail.

Really has an insane love for horror movies. He grew up with them as a kid and whether she needs something to bring comfort into his life he turns on a movie marathon of horror for hours. Doesn’t talk about it a lot so people won’t be freaked out, but there will be obvious signs since they’ve got a lot of merchandise with horror characters on them. They go really hardcore with their tastes. Oh you think Halloween is scary????? Have you heard of a movie called HEREDITARY or MIDSOMMAR? Elliot DIES for disturbing shit— and the more fucked up it is and gorier the BETTER. Analog horror is their favorite genre, though they admit some of its materials are a little bit overused.

Has super curly hair but combs it out to put it back in a braid. Their real hair is something more like Merida from Brave, but they hate being compared to it all the time so they decide to leave it behind. Needless to say, Merida is his least favorite Disney princess because of this fact.

Owns 3 snakes, all ball pythons. Their names are Ripley, Elton and Lucy. They are his BABIES AND IF ANYONE HURTS THEM—

Has an amazing singing voice. Like no joke. If Elliot was brave (or drunk) enough to do karaoke he’d blow eVERyOnE away. I like to imagine their voice being really dynamic, but for the most part, her voice sounds like the singer from Florence and the machine or Belle.

Can draw but hasn’t done so in years. They specialize in drawing dragons and animals, but they never really got the hang of drawing humans (those fucking hANDS—). They don’t mention it because no one ever asks but I feel like Ryuga or some other blader saw her drawing like a beast and was like ‘can you draw me something?’ To which they might say yes, if they like said person.

Very much a nerd in the pop culture sense. She’s intelligent, but she doesn’t like to flaunt it, but when you’re talking about D&D he is THERE and READY to make characters. This has happened on more than one occasion— mainly to Kyoya because he’s the only one who actually really likes the idea and wants to try it out— however that doesn’t keep them from trying to connect to people through references and quotes.

Their favorite animal is a manatee. No further explanation.

He is on the autism/neurodivergent spectrum so they’ve always struggled with making friends. They don’t have many as a result but of the few he does have they’re the world to them. Their loyalty knows no bounds and they would sacrifice themselves to save their friends.

Enjoys being around animals more than people— LOVES sea life but is terrified of swimming in open water where they can’t see. If you take them to an aquarium or zoo they will explode with joy.

This bean can swim like the devil. His backstroke is INSANE. Everybody jokes about how she’s half fish because she spends so much time in the water. Used to compete in swimming leagues when she was younger, but sadly had to drop it due to personal reasons.

Very comfortable in cold weather. It could be so cold in their room that you could see their breath, and they would just be like ‘ah, perfect for sleeping’. However this is good for them because that means that they get to wear sweaters all the time, thus being the resident human heater

Made their beyblade themselves, took about a year plus to get everything to work correctly.

Has considerable Norse and Scandinavian roots, has their one Bunad (this is like a traditional celebration dress or garments) and has rune stones that they know how to read, though they do not do it often as fortune telling with runes are only used in times of dire need. Almost everybody will assume he’s Irish or Scottish because of the red hair, and this is probably one of their worst pet peeves. They hate it when people assume his nationality.

Works for the WBBA as a medical assistant for when the Bladers get injured during battles. They worked as an MA in Norway before they got recommended by one of the main Bladers for helping them out when they were badly injured. Then they immigrated over and they’ve worked there ever since.

I alot of people would get along with Elliot, but I feel like Elliot would really hang with Ryuga, Tsubasa, Or Kyoya the most since they see them so often during their work. They would probably come in for patching up at least twice a week.

Elliot is a mom friend, but more in the way of a grandma. They love you, but most of the time they’re too tired to stop you from making dumb decisions. Will warn you once and then help you afterwards with bandaging your wounds.

Are definitely the type of character that is very kind, but if you fuck with their friends they will turn into a Dark Souls Boss to whoop the ever loving SHIT out of some bitch.

That’s all I can think for now, but this is essentially what his personality is.

[meander1995]

A moment of reflection

It has been a long time since I paid any mind to this account. I am here to make a gigantic life announcement.

On July 11th, 2023, my life changed forever when I asked my sister if I could put on her black dress (in the photos below). In that exact moment, I felt a cold rush of euphoric bliss as the dress fit me--something unlike anything I felt before. On a whim, I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror with my phone and took the first photo below--I saw her. I knew from the cold chills right then and there that my egg had cracked and that I am a trans woman.

From there, my ADHD hyperfixations had spent most of the time since in an intense focus on getting to the bottom of things. And once it was certain (self-doubt be damned), focused on getting my ducks in a row to transition socially and physically. I came out to my family less than a week after I realized myself--I simply went to sleep in a dress and didn't give a fuck who saw me. I figured that if I was half-asleep, I would have time to make myself spill the beans before processing enough to put myself in a panic. Not that I had cause to panic much since I am grateful that my family is either supportive (my mom; one of my younger brothers) or part of the LGBT+ community (my other younger brother and my two younger sisters) themselves. As such, all of them supported me the instant I came out and picked my name of "Adrienne." Hell, my sisters even got me dresses and taught me how to do makeup for my 28th birthday on July the 19th--and later took me thrift-shopping for even more dresses (my favorite photos of which are included)

Even though I never felt any signs of being trans before 7/11/2023, in hindsight, there may have been quite a few signs in my memories. Such as when I was in kindergarden, I recall saying to someone that "if I was a girl, I'd look forward to being pregnant," something which I said ignorant of how hard pregnancy is on a human body--but perhaps is something that should've been a sign. Or all the times I felt as though I related to women more than men in a social sense--loathing toxic masculinity was normal for me, but even the non-toxic parts of it felt like I was just coasting. Or the times in Uni where my social anxiety (likely a product of my autism) plus my brain fog (which I now know was likely the product of then-undetected gender dysphoria) led me to believe that I was so bad at befriending women that I was a serial harasser--something I blamed myself in a now-misdirected sense of self-loathing that I thought only plunging into my academics (at the expense of a social life) would cure. Or my general sense of depression over much of my post-Uni life that I had no idea of the cause--until my egg cracked and I saw the problem right in the eyes.

Not going to lie, seeing posts on Reddit, Discord, and Mastodon from other transfemmes (especially those with Autism and ADHD--like myself) with similar life experiences to me and befriending them ended up assuring me that I was never broken. Just misdirected the entire time. And little things like dresses, makeup, shaving my legs, stuffing a sports-bra to give myself the convincing illusion of breasts, and feeling as though I am swimming in my pool for the first time in my own body since pre-puberty. Every day since my egg cracked, my resolve that I am a trans woman has only grown more-and-more.

In the afternoon on my 28th birthday (7/19/2023), I took my phone with me to walk to the woods outside the front yard of the lake house I was spending the week with my family on vacation. I was determined to make the call to my local Planned Parenthood to schedule an HRT consultation under informed consent. While I was successful, I was taken a bit aback by the fact that the waitlist for it is so backed up that the soonest I could be scheduled was October 2nd. After I successfully scheduled myself, my immediate thought was "I don't want to have to wait that long." And so later that week (upon returning to my hometown), I was directed by someone on Mastodon to a DIY HRT directory of international pharmacies that I can order HRT from. I chose to order 2mg Estradiol and 100mg Spiro from Thailand and--last I checked--the shipment is on the plane now and will arrive anywhere between 8/15/2023 and 9/5/2023. It is a 3 month supply of HRT--long enough to last until the consultation gives me officially regulated hormones yet short enough that I won't suffer health problems from being unable to check my bloodwork.

Even though I am resolute that transitioning is the only correct choice for me, I will not lie that I have some anxieties about this still. Not with the transition itself, but some things that accompany this. Since I couldn't immediately afford to bank sperm, a major source of anxiety is and was having to make the choice between fulfilling myself or having bio kids. As is, my options for children are hoping I get supremely lucky with some still-active swimmers, hope I can go off hormones and bank sperm at a time where I have a stable income (I'm also using a job coach system to place me into a job now--and the system knows of and is supportive of my transition), adopt children, or end up step-parenting a child of a future date. I don't see adopting or step-parenting a child as meaning that that child is less 'mine' than a biological kid, but I do think having a bio kid would be nice when the time is right to raise them (probably a decade down the road). I hope that future generations of trans people do not have to make this choice. And that isn't even considering that the idea of bottom surgery has crossed my mind a few times--I don't dislike my natal genitals, but think it'd be cooler and more gender-affirming with a vagina (that's just me personally---you are valid if you don't agree with me); it's a thought I'll put a pin in for now and see how I feel down the road.

The other annoyance is my mom. Yes, she is supportive of my choice to go on hormones (I haven't told her the DIY HRT route as she is a stickler for offical pharmacutical medications and I don't want to worry her unless the signs of feminization become too noticeable to hide). However, she is just as surprised about this as I am. She thinks I am going too fast--aka, she hasn't been aware that transition can come from euphoria instead of dysphoric suffering. I'm glad I didn't have to suffer in order to realize my identity and hope it becomes more accepted that that is a valid path to realizing yourself. But mom is slow to adapting her terms. She thinks "Andi" (just one letter off from my deadname) is a sufficient nickname for "Adrienne" instead of "Adri" or even "Addie." And she's also referred to me as "he" or "son" when I am neither. I've gently starting nudging her as of today, but something tells me it will take a little bit to get her to adjust.

Overall, I am excited to begin my body transitioning into a female form. I've made peace that I probably was a woman the whole time. My brain fog may have been caused by years under the wrong hormones (testosterone instead of estrogen). I want my body to run on the correct fuel. Give me no brain fog, give me soft skin, give me reduced body hair, give me greater emotional range, give me girlsmell, give me boobs. And at this point, I love being trans. Because in a way, all the questioning that got me here made me more sure of who I am---almost as though the end-result is an hard-earned victory that I am eager to claim the spoils to.

As for fighting the political battle against transphobia, I'm all for it as a liberal and as a human being who is appalled with what is going on. However, I am focusing all my energy on transitioning at the moment. When I have energy to spare, I will fight the good fight. But I have to live life a little bit as me first.

EDIT: One thing I forgot to mention in the large body is that paying for the DIY HRT put me back on my insurance payments and that I will need mutual aid in order to pay my insurance so that I can afford the officially prescribed HRT after the Planned Parenthood consultation. Below are links to my PayPal and Venmo accounts. If anyone would like to donate, it would be VERY much appreciated. But only donate if you can do so without putting yourselves in financial jeopardy.

Venmo: https://www.venmo.com/u/adrienne-harper-115

PayPal: https://paypal.me/AdrienneHarper7