#bc that man is IN LOVE
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what must it be like
to grow up that beautiful?
#what Neil is thinking in this scene#but also “to grow up that smart and kinda and poetic and perfect?”#bc that man is IN LOVE#dead poets society#dps#dps boys#dead poets fandom#todd anderson#neil perry#anderperry#todd x neil#neil x todd#gold rush#taylor swift
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"just as I did, in 1983."
you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable
#my art#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#iwtv#armand iwtv#daniel molloy#armand#armandaniel#devils minion#drew this before the finale but idk maybe this is during the unspecified amount of time between armands divorce and daniels press tour#the titian painting doesnt fit at ALL with the timeline btw#i THOUGHT it did bc i assumed 1508 was when armand was turned into a vampire BUT upon reflection thats more likely the year he was born#and even then the painting was made in like 1510 so fuck me i guess. also im foggy on when armand was taken to rome#idk man i havent read the books and i failed art history on two separate occasions i cannot endeavor for accuracy#anyway as much as i love 70s/80s devils minion i have equal love for old man daniel#his cynicism has been tempered by time... refined like a diamond... he dont gaf and bullies his loser vampire and its hilarious#like ''sure yeah fine all these old italian renaissance guys saw ur ethereal otherworldly beauty but literally anybody can see that''#''IM the only mf who gets to experience the incandescent joy of seeing you be a messy idiot''#sidenote trying to make armand look unflattering is impossible u can blame the show for casting the worlds most beautiful man
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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The books reveal that Ford is actually a secret partier
(Available as a print on my Etsy Shop)
(wips under cut)
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#billford#journal 3#stanford pines#bill cipher#jheselbraum the unswerving#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#RAHH MY LOVE FOR MAKING MIDCENTURY-STYLE ART AT TIMES CAME IN SUPER HANDY#I think I surprised myself here 😳#(also don’t take this as shipping him and Jhes 😭💀 that’s his space fish mom 😁)#in the book of bill. obviously he and bill get drunk that time#and then in the 3rd journal#it says that after Jhes told him he had the face of the man who would defeat bill (meaning stanley lmao)#he ‘was so excited’ that he and Jhes ‘spent the entire night partying and drinking cosmic sand’#it’s funny bc Jhes is described as speaking with a steely resolve and is very calm#so it’s silly to me to picture her partying haha#I might make this one a print as well bc I really love how it looks#I’ll print it out tomorrow and decide if it’ll work well enough :) if it does I’ll put it on my shop#😭 the bill…his thumb is backwards BUT THATS NOT MY FAULT THATS LITERALLY HOW IT IS IN THE BOOK OF BILL PAGE THAT I REFERENCEDTHIS FROM WAHH#he can do whatever he wants ig
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Lil Pootis but I was inspired by a really old USSR film "Wolf and Calf" which made me really emotional
#there are no english subtitles but it is a film of MY CHILDHOOD man. i love it SO MUCH.#it reminded me of lil pootis bc. the adopted son calling his stepdad a “mom” and then once grown up finally calling him “dad”#i guess we all should die.#team fortress 2#tf2#team fortress 2 fanart#tf2 fanart#tf2 scout#lil pootis#lil pootis fanart
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98 lovemail doodles >_<
#trigun#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#nicholas d wolfwood#i was able to convince my friend to start 98 after we got back from AX HAHA and so i wanted to doodle the gang again ^_^#it's so funny how i always draw trimax ww super grumpy but then my 98ww is always such a goofy goober BAHAHA#trimax ww is still pookie to me tho dont get it twisted!!! ^_^#but yeah it's fun to decide how i want to differentiate between the different versions of ww#also i love 98 meryl so much she is so let me speak to the manager core (heart eyes)#and the color palette for vash i referenced from the lost july episode bc I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH THE COLORS IN THE PLANT STATION SCENES#idk what it is abt it but it tickles my brain. so pretty T__T#man im fr that type of artist who is posting different versions of the same drawings on different platforms LOL#but yall on tumblr and ig get it better imo hehe. when i post on twitter im like fucket whatever#i usually dont post on tumblr/ig until a day or two later so by then i make a couple of changes/finish stuff/color stuff#so here u go enjoy the colored versions of these doodles HAHA
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[wip] shooting star frye!!! i Looove spacey stuff!!!!
#mari's art#wip#ok sooo my for fun redesign ideas are#frye - shooting star#shiver - planety#big man - spaceship#idk when i think of futuristic stuff i think of spacey stuff (totallyyy not just bc i love space aesthetic)#oh maybe ill add robot stuff thats cool#splatoon#splatoon 3#splatoon frye#frye splatoon#frye onaga#splatfest#final fest#grand festival#i forgot what its called already#grandfest#?#finalfest
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Happy B-Day to the Corasante!! ❤🕯🎂🕯❤
(Featuring way too many drawings)
#one piece#drawing#fanart#corazon#cora san#op rosinante#donquixote rosinante#this man has too many names#trafalgar law#op law#donquixote doflamingo#I love cora#he wants to be a good person but is lowkey mediocre at it#he eats like a freak#he looks like a freak#he chose not to speak just bc he's petty#he gave up his life's mission after getting stabbed by a 12 year old#he lied to and betrayed every person that he loved#two out of the three gave him a pass because he was funny one time#he aggresively changed law's life for the better#and he spontaneously catches fire and loses all motor functions#he's literally perfect#anyways law is here because he is simply a good character#can i really put all of this in the tags?#insane
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pls assume i'm thinking about this moment 24/7 all week every week
#ahsjgdh i love the young xianle quartet sm they're almost barely not traumatized...kinda#they're very silly especially in retrospect#aaa i do also really want to draw young xie lian and mu qing but the idea of rendering that much gold detailing sounds like hell ywy#i'll do it but christ alive#my art#fanart#tgcf#tgcf fanart#tgcf spoilers#technically#also i haven't read past book 3 for now ywy#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#feng xin#hua cheng#...he gets one tag bc i'm not keeping track of all the aliases#every time i draw hc his hair gets worse and worse#my man has not seen a hairbrush in the past 800 or so years of his existence
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ᯓ★
#GIANT SPACE WOMAN I LOVE YOUU !!!!!! <33#starfire#dc fanart#teen titans#koriand'r#kory anders#my dad has old teen titans comics from the 80s where she had her amazing giant hair and man#he grew up crushing on her hard bc of those comics and then decades later i grew up reading his comics just to end up exactly the same#big hair starfire will always have my silly little heart#i remember how cool it was as a kid to finally see a fem chara that was way bigger than her bf so thank u kori for being the og Giant Woman#i should share the ref pics i used at some point too bc they were super fun#theyre on my side insta @crowscraps if u wanna see em#my art
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I'm always sad whenever I think about the implications of Loop having no mouth.
#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#love u loop and bc of that im slowly constructing a world where u suffer and live#as a wise man once said “eat shit and live”#something about sticking around for the consequences of your actions really gets to me#the draws
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"I HC that Viktor beats Jayce with his cane in arguments" good hc ngl I laugh everytime I think abt this,
but consider: Jayvik don't ever gets in arguments, not because they are the "perfect couple", its bc everytime Viktor gets mad or upset Jayce immediately says sorry.
HE DOES IT A LOT IN THE SHOW THIS MAN WONT STAND UP FOR HIMSELF IN ANY MOMENT. He sees his man is mad at him and he IMMEDIATELY reconsiders every choice he made, Viktor says, he's doing.
Also Viktor takes advantage of this bc he is a asshole (In a non-toxic way)
#jayce league of legends#jayce talis#viktor x jayce#arcane jayce#arcane viktor#viktor#viktor arcane#jayvik#Viktor sometimes says dumb things on purpose to make Jayce want to start to argument#but SOMEHOW he makes himself right in the end#just bc Jayce doesnt want to make Viktor upset#Bc Viktor is coming with the cards of “nono#of course the POOR#DISABLED#and obviously#DUMB undercity boy is wrong#But you do you#“Man of progress”#and then Jayce is just too ashamed to say something more#Do not worry he treats his wife right#Jayce deserves love as the same amount of embarassement
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Ghost King Phantom was an odd addition to the League. J’onn was often the last to find others odd but from the get-go, Phantom was the only quiet spot he’d have in his telepathic field. At first, it was off putting as most of the people that slipped beyond the reach of his immediate field tended to be villains and the like. But as Phantom remained in the Justice League, J’onn had come to learn to appreciate the calm spot in the turbulent sea of his friends’ and coworkers’ thoughts.
“You have taken to me faster than the others. Why is that?”
Phantom hummed purringly, another peculiar sound that J’onn had yet to see any of his human or alien heroes recreate with any success. They sat at their usual spot, face facing the cosmos and backs guarded by their friends. Plus, J’onn and Phantom could look directly into the sun without painfully loosing their sight.
“I guess I’ve always been fond of the stars. Of space, and everything in it. What about you? Why did we become friends so fast?”
J’onn shook his head, a human motion he’d learned a long time ago to imitate. “No, we became slower friends than most, as my telepathic abilities allow for easier communication and understanding of one another’s motives. With the exception of Batman but I have found he is often the exception to most expectations.”
“That checks out,” King Phantom laughed. “Well, I’m glad we became friends. It’s very cool to meet a Martian. Space is one of my Obsessions, you see.”
J’onn nodded. “I see. I am sorry that I am the only Martian you will meet.”
“You are?”
J’onn nodded again, slower. Sadder. His facial muscles, in this form, does not imitate human patterns well and he knew that most people could not pick out his emotions without his verbal expression.
Intuition tells J’onn that Phantom knew regardless.
“Would you mind telling me what happened?” His voice is gentle, the emotions that Phantom pushes at him are gentle and questing, but not demanding. It has been a long time since anyone has asked him of memories he clung to. And so, J’onn J’onzz speaks in the way that was natural to him, the way his people communicated.
With his mental voice flowing into Phantom’s head, J’onn tells him of the wonders that used to be his home. He provided images and sounds of how his home shone as the sun rose, how the shadows that fell when the sun dipped beneath the horizon felt as comforting as a Martian’s first telepathic cradle. He tells Phantom of his twin brother, grief and agony entwined in the memories of someone he had loved. He spoke of his wife and their daughter, and their cozy home on the windswept plains of Mars.
King Phantom sat still with him as the Watch-Tower moved along, around a king and his friend who was recounting the stagnant grief of his past.
J’onn tells him of the virus, borne of his twin’s hatred, and how he watched everything around him burn. How he had desperately tried to prevent his wife and daughter from using their telepathic abilities. He spoke of his failures. He wove together a tapestry of insanity and grief, built upon the burning bodies of his wife and their beloved daughter. He tells Phantom how the Mars now was just ashes and dust of his former home. How he could not look upon the planet and not see the shades of his wife and daughter and parents and friends, walking upon a barren planet that no longer held anything familiar to the last Martian.
Phantom had hummed again, a soothing rumble. Sadness dripped from the edges of his consciousness.
“If it was not for the Doctor, I would be dead and shattered.” J’onn spoke for the first time in three hours. “It is… less painful to live. I have purpose.”
“I am glad that you are not either of those things.” Phantom stood. “Come with me. I have to show you something.”
J’onn trusted Phantom, and thus followed the king into the glowing green portal.
They flew past many doors, Phantom often glancing at him before shaking his head and changing directions.
They stopped at a door that felt familiar. J’onn knew it from somewhere.
“Go ahead, open the door. But know that you can’t stay long. You don’t belong to this realm quite yet. Not for quite a while.” Phantom moves, hand gesturing towards the door without a knob.
“How..?”
“How else? You have telekinesis, don’t you?”
J’onn blinked. Right. He opened the door and- oh.
The door warped with the screaming storm of grief and love and oh-how-I’ve-missed-you that J’onn unleashed.
Because there in front of him were M’yri’ah and K’hym, his wife and daughter.
The door was an imitation of his home, back when he had not known true loss.
“Impossible,” he stumbled back.
“You are in the realm of the dead. You didn’t think the title of the Ghost King was for fun, did you, J’onn?” Phantom smiled and- a move J’onn would definitely engage in petty payback for, later after he’d gotten over the shock- pushed him flying right into the room.
M’yri’ah and K’hym cradled him with telepathic swirls of love and husband!-dad!-love-love-love-safe!
And J’onn shuddered and gathered the his world in his arms to say goodbye.
——
#danny phantom#j’onn j’onzz#dcxdp#dpxdc#justice league and the ghost king#basically me being sad about Martian man hunter bc I love him
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hawkeye and trapper get fake septums
(id under the cut)
[image id: a three-page digital comic about characters from the TV show MASH, illustrated by "druid-for-hire." On page 1, frank burns squints at Hawkeye from a short distance, who is next to Trapper, who is reading a newspaper that obscures his face. "Pierce," Burns asks, "what's on your face?" Hawkeye turns to face him, revealing a septum piercing. "what's what, Frank?" he asks. Shocked and affronted by this breach in army regulations, he shouts, "I can't!! Believe you!! It's not enough for you to disagrace the army uniform by being out of it all the time? You have to go and--and do that! You look like a punk! Or a cow!"
On page 2, Hawkeye, unbothered, replies "Y'know, Frank, I'm finally living up to the Pierce name. I was thinking about going for some ear tag earrings. Maybe I can get a nurse to pull my udders." Frank howls, "That's disgusting!" Turning to Trapper he shouts, "Did you have anything to do with this, McIntyre?" Trapper pulls down the newspaper to reveal that he's wearing three septum rings and says, "I sure did! He stole my look!"
On page 3, Frank says "You're both terrible. Both of your butts are going on report!" while Hawkeye takes out his apparently fake septum ring behind his back. "Report for what, Frank?" he asks; Frank turns to see that the piercing is now missing. "Yeah, what's the matter, Frank?" Trapper says, whose piercing is suddenly missing as well. Frank storms off, yelling "Neither of you can pull the wool over my eyes!! Just wait until General Barker hears about this!" Some time later, Frank is standing next to General Barker, pointing at Hawk. "General, I'm telling you, the hole is THERE!" he shouts. "Go and take a look in those nostrils for yourself!" There is a long and awkward pause. The General did not like that. Hawkeye remarks, "Gee Frank, take a girl to dinner first." end id]
#mash#m*a*s*h#mashblr#mash tv#mash 4077#mashposting#hawkeye pierce#trapper john mcintyre#frank burns#my art#edit: i love when people in the tags are like ''i love how you draw frank''#bc the way i draw frank is ''barely''#this is not a dig on myself this is an observation of the fact#that somehow he lost what little detail he had and became a large vaguely man-shaped hat#also the fun part about writing his dialogue was that i could add as much punctuation as i wanted#to make the spacing work. lol#also special shoutout to my buddy for helping me workshop the jokes n dialogue
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Thinking about how (a humanoid) Bill would see Ford be older after those 30 years (because that’s how people work), and so to try and appeal to him again, he makes himself look older too (I mean, he’s WAYYYY older than Ford actually, but I just mean visually)
But then after he’s killed and sent to the Theraprism, he goes back to his original twink look, and I say this because I already did a drawing of my humanoid Bill in prison and I like how that design worked with his pathetic traumatized orange jumpsuit look more than I think I would like it with an older looking version 😁 plus uhh I don’t wanna deem that drawing “not canon” to my brain so yeah
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#I said in my discord that older bill was giving lesbian 😭#it’s so goofy bc like…I decided a more ‘mature’ version of him would have THAT hair.#which is the SAME HAIR i give to both Manfred von Karma and William Afton#which would be FINE#if I didn’t already give ‘younger’ Bill the SAME BANGS I give to both Miles Edgeworth and Michael Afton#THIS CAN’T KEEP HAPPENING TO MEEEEEE#I’m so in love with older Bill’s coat oughhh the blue inside RAHHHH#I gave him a big bow on the back of it bc 1. I liked how it looked and 2. reference to my design for his mama#and then he has straps on his eyepatch now bc reference to my humanoid design for his dad#anyways yeah toxic evil triangle man tries so desperately to appeal to his ex boyfriend just to get rejected 😔😔😔
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if you ever think "why bother posting my spotify wrapped/apple music replay nobody really cares anyway" think of ME. I CARE. i love that shit i love seeing what music people like and how many minutes they listened to music etc. PLEASE post them i love it i love ittttt it's like a holiday for me
#text#LITERALLY @MUTUALS IF U WANT TO FEEL FREE TO TAG ME IN THE COMMENTS OF UR WRAPPEDS WHEN IT COMES OUT#I GENUINELY LOVE SEEING THEM#spotify wrapped#apple replay#im guessing wrapped will probably be out either the 27th or dec 4th#they usually do the wednesday after thanksgiving#which historically has been late nov thru dec 1#but this year that'll be a few days into december#so there's a chance theyll do it early maybe?#idk#itll probably be the 4th tbh i shouldnt get my gay little hopes up#i remember in 2020 it was either the 1st or 2nd of december bc i was in the crisis unit for it HAHAHA#woke up that morning like man i dont want to be alivOoooh wait statistics??? about my music??? Dont mind igf i do
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