#bc at least then i was working towards something
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YOU ARE DOING GODS WORK WRITING FOR TOP!KEIRA. I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS FOR MONTHS!! NOT TO RUSH YOU BUY WHEN IS IT COMING OUT??
hopefully the first part will be out tomorrow, but the latest will be Friday :D
…..and okay yall have done it…you have forced me to give you a lil preview 😩 (a.k.a i just can’t contain it to myself anymore bc im so excited lol)
part one out now: read here!!
18+ MINORS DNI
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“You better get your girl, Kei!” A very drunk Alexia laughs out, “Before your best friend does.”
Keira’s eyebrows draw together in confusion, her eyes searching out to where her captain’s sights are set. And oh what a sight she is met with— you, her sweet angel, pressed up against Leah on the dance floor. You’re still high off the win, and even more elated from seeing your old english teammates celebrating with you. It’d been quite a day at the UEFA, both of your groups collecting a victory in your matches.
Now here you are, three shots deep and your adrenaline making you act out a lot more than you normally would. You’re usually such a good girl for Keira. An absolute picture perfect sub— admired by all who saw the two of you interact. She loves the way you heed her every word, never arguing or disagreeing when she tells you to do something. So it’s a surprise to her when you just smile at her, and grind your ass back against Leah when she motions for you to come towards her.
Keira feels her jaw clench as her fingers tighten around the glass in her hand, and she makes the continuous decision to set it down before she ends the night early getting stitches. She starts making her way through the crowd, her eyes never leaving yours as she does. Leah’s whispering something in your ear, and you bite your lips at whatever it is. A blush crossing your cheeks as you finally break the intense gaze of your girlfriend. Leah’s hands are circling around your middle now, her palms resting low on your abdomen as she presses you against her even tighter.
You can hear your heart thumping in your ears now. A pit deepens in your stomach as Keira rapidly approaches you, her hand instantly wrapping around your wrist as she yanks you into her body. You stumble at first, your free hand coming up to balence yourself against her chest. You feel like your blood is molten lava under your skin, and you aren’t sure if it’s the alcohol or your actions that’s causing the burning sensation to pump through your veins.
Maybe it’s the good girl deep inside of you burning alive from the guilt of acting out…but the sexy look on your girlfriend’s face quickly sweeps that notion from your mind. I mean how could you feel guilty when your pussy is throbbing from the way her nails angrily dig into your skin…you should right? You should feel guilty about how much it turns you on to see her jealous and hot headed with anger, but it doesn’t. It only makes you smile up at her as your hands go behind you to find her best friend, and pull her back against your body.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Her hands moves down to your waist as she tightens her grip there, knocking Leah’s away in the process.
“Well, i wasn’t just gonna sit on your lap all night because you didn’t wanna dance with me,” you make sure to roll your eyes as you say it— playing up on the brattiness to test her boundaries in front of company. It feels so much safer to do it with so many eyes on you. Because in your mind, what can she really do to you in a room full of hundreds of people? So it inflates your confidence, your ego, and your desire for her break to you back down into a pliable little sub. It’s like you have a sugar rush from all the praise and sweetness she’s always shown you, but you’re finally coming down from the high…and boy are you crashing HARD. You’re craving to see the rougher side of your sickly sweet girlfriend has been growing steadily for weeks now. At least, ever since she let it slip that she’s a brat tamer during a drunk truth or dare last month.
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You had called her out with a big hearty laugh, “Oh Kei, come on! You’re like the total opposite of that. You’ve never even raised your voice at me, let alone spank me back into my place!”
“Yeah, because you already know that it’s underneath me. Brats are like wild animals, and you’re more like a house cat, babe. No need to tame a kitten when you’re used to dealing with lions.”
It was like a light went off in your head after that— a deep seated need to broken then put back together by her.
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Your feet must’ve went into auto pilot, because your brain is just now playing catch up. You hadn’t even realized you’re being dragged through the crowd. At least, not until you hear a chorus of teasing shouts from the mix of your former and current teammates behind you. The door to the bathroom flies open just as Mariona makes sure to yell out for you both to “Usa protección, chicas!”
Keira doesn’t even check to see if all the stalls are empty. She just pushes you into the first one she sees. You go to speak, but you’re cut off by her hand coming up and locking around your throat. “Spread your fucking legs, y/n.”
Your eyes widen at her statement, hesitation clear as you make no move to follow her demands. “B-but we’re in pub—“ you’re cut off by a growl coming out of the older girl in front of you, “And I don’t give a damn, y/n. If you wanna act like a slut, then i’ll treat you like one…” She pushes you up against the stall door, her chest vibrating against yours as she lightly laughs.
“And sluts don’t get fucked on nice comfy beds, do they?” Her eyes flicker up to yours before she leans down to press a couple kisses up your neck. A few more condescending giggles come out of her too, slightly tickling your skin in her wake. When she pulls away it’s like you can see the switch flip behind her eyes, because suddenly her voice is back to being as stern as the look on her face. “They get finger fucked in dirty bathroom stalls with their panties hanging around their ankles.”
#asks.daph#daph.preview#TOP KEIRA AGENDA#YEAAHHH#keira walsh x reader#woso smut#woso x reader#keira walsh smut
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Loki didn't even do anything to the other Asgardians personally, unsure why they didn't like him so much and thought he was so suspicious
#i was thinking about what crimes loki did do and like. lying to thor/hurting his feelings was IT??#like he didnt spit in hogun's face or kill sif's mother#so why do they have personal grudges#is it because loki argued when they said to makw odin take thor's punishment back? unlikely#they didnt like loki before that either!!!!#and we're never told why!!!!!#if it was justified by their noble characters then it would have come up#fandral wouldve been like no we cant suspect loki and someone else wouldve said but remember when he killed a guy!!#or 'but he has done such before...' etc.#but no!!#apparently it just IS#he hasnt done anything personal towards them which is actually a wild decision to make#loki with a squeaky clean record gets the throne bc thor was banished and they jump him#:/ ?????????#did he at least poison fandral once or something#that's so mean#thor is the only one who can hold a grudge because of the lying thing#everyone else was going off hearsay and as the prophecy foretold. APPARENTLY!!!#once again asking if they simply do not know how the line of inheritance works#even loki understood that much and he was of the opinion that the family was pulling shenanigans with him
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i dont need therapy or medication i need it to be 2007. i need it to be my full time job to learn and explore and be curious about the world around me again
#crayon on envelope#i cant do any of that shit when i gotta have a job#i really miss when all i had to do was go to school#like i didnt realize how good i had it at the time#go in for like six hours and still have time and sunlight to do what i wanted when i got home#weekends off where all your friends Also have it off so you can organize hanging out#the whole summer to yourself#honestly i feel like id be doing so much better psychologically if i could have summer vacation again lol#bc at least then i was working towards something#just gotta get through the year so i can enjoy my summer#now its like. why am i even doing all of this#why is my only goal to suffer till i get a paycheck#and i dont even get to keep most of it#pointless luv litchrally pointless
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dreaming abt sophomore year class swap bard!riz
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#ft. kalina#fh class quangle#tbh Im not suuuper happy with the bones of these designs yet#but also its just a bit hard to measure up to how strong ''kid who wears suit to school'' is#I kiinda gear the sophomore year design specifically towards like. cameraman-esque aesthetics#kind of dude who's working the light rig And the audio at the same time. dude who's running inbetween two huge tripods#theres also a thing with the freshman year arcade scene that I wanted to draw but just do not have the energy today#maybe in the future! if I can be bothered to draw biz lmao#I wanna draw something for cleric!gorgug first anyway... specifically his death in freshman year#man I'm so glad I tossed bard!riz into investigative journalism that is SO annoying. exactly what I set out to do with my classswaps#can you imagine going to school with that guy. can you imagine going to school with tintin#this also makes kipperlilly vs riz even funnier like influencer vs journalist? it'd be the Worst#man thinking of it I should rework gorgug's design too. currently his sophomore design is really zac core lmao#and zac can pull it off but character design wise its. really nothing. laughs#his junior year design is full aerith at least so that one Im very happy with. what if I tell u cassandra is the deity of#the inbetween spaces in this class swap thingy. and gorgug offers her domain as a stop for folks fresh out of a faith to gather themselves#that being transgender as fuck is kinda coincidental lmao. but well I stand by it I like that#nobody's design has jumped out to me like riz and gorgug yet. adaine I have a prreeetty good idea for#mostly bc shes the hoodie kid this time round lmao. gamer adaine true believers rise up#we take it easy! we take it easy as we go. these comics-lite were real fun to do. I should do that more
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okay like the thing is that suicide jokes and such are probably not that bad or that big of a deal if you're not really suicidal but if you're For Real suicidal or have been before and are not doing well mentally and you keep making them and start finding comfort in the thought you could kill yourself if you wanted to. be careful
#like i'm being serious rn 😭😭#it genuinely became my only source of comfort and i ended up feeling like that was the only solution#and it wasn't even necessarily bc i wanted to be dead. at least not most of the time#but it felt like the only way for things to change?#i was so stuck and in the extreme act of killing myself i could see change i could see moving forward#which like. yeah but it's obviously DANGEROUS i mean i could've died for real#sometimes i wish i had blabla but mostly i'm glad i didn't but it was still all so awful to go thru?#and idk sometimes i think if i'd not normalized the idea of suicide in my head for so long i wouldn't have gotten to that point#ik that genuinely most ppl who make suicide jokes are gonna be fine it's not gonna affect them much#but some of us are severely mentally ill 😭😭 i've been suicidal on and off since i was 13 or something#and it's just not good for me and i just want to be like. if you're also mentally ill please analyze if it's bad for you too#bc ah brains are fucked up !!!!!!! like i have a personality disorder and my brain has probably never been Not fucked up so i have to accep#that i have to be gentler towards it bc it'll start having fucked up beliefs easily lmao like the amount of things i rationally understand#but emotionally i believe and feel the opposite and it does NOT help to just rationally know !!!!! which sucks#but i'm working on it with a professional bc yeah i can't just get rid of the bad thoughts and negative shit on my own which i guess is ok?#okayyyyy.. back to football
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do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option
#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause#to like charities and gfms and anyone else#but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job#and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything#and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week#but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week#the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything#you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something#but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets#like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going#but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it#and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy#and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own#but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough#my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space#bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected#and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll#get everything going again#but at the same time i could easily just die#I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs#what else is there to do with my life honestly#(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed#but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience#idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't#but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it#ramble#suicide tw#weight loss mention
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My ass is cooked in crit tomorrow 😔
#I couldn't get to the alpha cards in time MY TREES LOOK LIKE SHIT!!!! 💥💥💥#At least I know I'm passing bc of midterm grades#BUT STILLLLL#My 3D work is being beaten down by senioritis#At least my gameplay/design is good#Sighhhh if only I could just keep doing that#I'm realizing my work interests lie outside of directly creating something#Saves the creativity for stories and personal projects I have motivation for :)#Too bad I gotta wait until I graduate to enjoy that UAHGG#tech artist probably what I'm gonna lean towards#though modeling characters are also really fun at times#the game animation industry is probably too competitive for me to get in straight out the bat but yes to that too#Rambles#Complaining
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seeing ppl say that theyre going to kiss and hug all his trauma away makes me insane bc thats so not how it works 😭😭😭 not to be "u don't understand him like i do" but CMON... that sort of trauma doesnt work like that.... its not a "romance fixes everything" situation.... and i know half the time ppl are just being somewhat silly and not actually serious but i just get so irritated w the trope of "just get into a relationship and it'll fix all ur trauma :]" bc its EVERYWHEREEE
#im not jealous even im just annoyed bc thats not gonna do jackshit for the guy 😭 even the canon version#actually ESPECIALLY the canon version of him fjkdl that guy needs stability and to learn about emotional regulation#i think romance would actually be . really bad for the canon version of Guz fhfkdl i think it'd make his issues a lot worse#and not in a fun way#he's gotta work on stuff a bit first and then maybe he'd be okay to get into a relationship of some kind#my version of the guy I've expanded on and fleshed out things so that theres more to work with fjdkdl#the canon version is very flat and would be rly difficult to work with bc he's so flat in terms of character depth#but my version... he's got a few different directions he can go in and theres more than one road to recovery he can take#idk if recovery is even the right word bc irt trauma like that... there is no Before! theres nothing to go back to#u just have to move forward towards something brand new and unknown. which is scary. but um. I'm getting sidetracked fhdkdl#i do want to hug and kiss him yes but it won't make him better. at least not for a long long while.#theres a lot of work to be done before a kiss would come even close to ever fixing anything djdksl#dandy.cmd#💜so good at being in trouble
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really mulling over the likelihood of what i detailed here (amid a different set of speculation for s5 perhaps) of my “rayla destroying and saving callum” pattern going 1) destruction first (like freeing the moon fam) and 2) salvation second (breaking him free of possession, maybe in s5 or even in s6) rather than the CHET engine of 1) salvation first and 2) destruction second. both allow for their own Tragic Cliffhangers, but with the arc decidedly split down the middle rather having both presumably crammed into s5 or stretched out through to s6. also means that book 6: star(?) can have the possession plot line (literal agency vs destiny with those same sweet rayla-aaravos parallels and duality), explorations of stella, and the cube (which is decidedly a secret of aaravos / linked to deep ancient magic and understanding in Some way) unencumbered, as well as possible parallels of viren and soren trying to bring claudia home with everyone else working to bring callum home as well. y’know, for the Foils
#flinging my spaghetti at the wall yet again lads#s5 speculation#s6 speculation#tdp theory#the dragon prince#improvise adapt overcome#tdp#s5 spoilers#predictions#like i think if the key isn't tethered directly to aaravos' prison the exchange could still work but it'd be decidedly less tight#cause while i do lean towards callum having something to do with aaravos getting out bc Freedom Associations#it can be more specific to their general ideological thematic conflict without overlapping in that way?#at least perhaps not that directly#it still feels like not everyone who wants to be free is gonna be Freed tm like#someone's freedom or safety is still getting willfully sacrificed but. hm. we shall see#tag ramble#theme: freedom#cube hostage exchange theory#adjacently#tdp spoilers#mutual savlation theory#also adjacently#cause on the one hand. the 'terrible things for love' has typically been Protection#which the exchange fits better in some ways. but Also dark magic. which fits the coins#and jack did imply callum might dabble in dark magic again pre s4 so like. THAT WOULD TRACK
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i feel so fucking adriftttt man when does it end like seriously when
#chirps#college was college. i didnt need to be actually fulfilled because at least i was always working towards something#but most days lately i feel like i am just getting through the day. there are things i enjoy and things i dont and whatever#but mostly im just going through the motions#im in a show right now and its really fun and im so happy im doing it but at the end of the day rehearsal is just this thing i do#for 3 hours a night most nights but then its over#im scared i'll never feel as close to anyone again as i did to my ex. my best friend is out of town for another month#even this week which should be pleasurable bc its my first week off in six months#i just dont feel like im doing what i want to be doing. but i dont know what that would even be#roller derby lowkey is the only thing that makes me feel good that i want to do. lol
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as someone who doesn't ship stancy or jancy, i admittedly do have a preference for jancy, but for very different reasons than the ones you mentioned in your previous, i was wondering if that was something you'd be interested in hearing? i know that post was a vent, so i didn't want to assume
ohhh yeah I'd be down to hear! I am not against Jancy at all I just think canon refuses to let them be interesting even when they're being messy. to me they are a neutral ship I guess? fine either way.
It was mostly a vent about how some people are so viciously anti-stancy that the just completely ignore the exact issues in the ship they like that they bring up for stancy? and while that applies to...a lot of ships honestly, it is pretty glaring discussing jancy and specifically the discussions of the future. I'd love to hear your thoughts!
#jancy#stranger things#anonasaurus#findaanswers#yeah anon tell me!#bc tbh to me what tips more towards stancy was the whole visions of the future thing. Steve sees one with nancy as a positive#and something to work towards and build. where jon sees it as something to dread and how it can only go wrong.#i mean i also think jancy is kinda boring? at least stancy has mess and acknowledges some of it even if it avoids most of it#jancy has potential to be messy but i doubt it will? but i won't be upset or devastated if its endgame#i think all three of them (especially nancy) should end single tbh but i doubt that'll happen unfortunately#tbh i think people talk themselves in circles to avoid simpling acknowledging they just don't like steve#and i mean this happens in every fandom where ppl try to find a moral reason for not liking some character/ship#and really you are allowed to just not vibe with something. you can have reasons for the nonvibing#but its not a moral thing ya know?#said more in the tags than the body text but ah well#finda's rambles
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phone died so i couldn't post, but im gonna be like au speculating as i go through these and i want a good amount of them to be Somewhat rooted in canon? and man i gotta figure out whats just the erins being bad at establishing genuine connections between characters and a character genuinely being distant.
anyways is it just me or does bramblestar feel very distant from his children here
#he has a nice talk with alderpaw when he fails to catch anything on day 1 but he feels weirdly emotionless towards them?#i mean im a ''bramble is a bad dad to both litters'' truther but im wondering how much is like intentional#or me just looking too much into things#actually i wont take too many piss shots at the fandom here (too many)#but this person sucks so ill do it real quick. i actually think dr********r's au where brambles a bad dad to alder#is interesting in concept. like hes ashamed of his kid for not being a great hunter so he shoves him in the medicine den#and later into another clan#buuuuuut tbh i dont really like the way they went about it? like bramble berating alder in the den doesnt feel right#bramble is more the passive aggressive type i feel. at least in my au he is#sometimes more aggressive than passive but thats his main form of being towards his family#like. he doesnt physically abuse squilf. but he DOES berate and isolate her#and idk to his kids i guess him being verbally abusive would work for his character? but it doesnt feel right to me#i think if i had to go at that au itd be more like. bramble keeps negging his kid. getting at his skin#not talking to him in public even when alder calls out his name. downplaying his achievements#''oh. you finally caught a mouse. ok. thats good progress i suppose. keep at it''#idk subtle stuff like that that eats at alder's insecurities over and over and over until he snaps#and THATS when bramble snaps at him. then he pins the blame on alder for snapping first#and then he goes on about how alder is embarassing him and needs to ''go do something else''#and alder chooses to be a medicine cat on his own but its bc hes been worn down and is ashamed of his skills#rather than him being shoved in the den bc ngl i really dislike the idea that being a doctor is ass#and you go be a doctor when youre a failure at everything#if i had to do it id have alder deciding be one bc he feels like hes horrible at what his dad does#and maybe actually i wouldnt keep him as a medicine cat. idk why i dont like him being one but i dont. maybe ill see why later#but he decides its not for him and goes back to being a warrior without his dad breathing down his neck.#wait i was talking abt the shadowclan au. or he goes to shadowclan instead yippee#avos liveread
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I want a dissertation on brotherhood in relation to birth order and senses of responsibility focusing on Eric Matthews and his relationship to school, sexuality, *homo*sexuality, and masculinity and how he projects/protects Cory through all of this and I want it NOW!
(Lots of fun little unorganized thoughts in tags <3)
#I feel like I could hella write that this summer#hmmm#thinking about what I'll want to major in starting fall '24 and I'll go into medicine eventually but an english major... looking pretty nic#for now at least#this specific topic is because I Love Eric Matthews like I'm only in s2 but he's so. he loves his siblings so so so much and it's so obviou#I've heard there's some contention btwn him and his father and ofc I've heard about Eric and Jack and AUGH it's gonna give me SO MUCH-#-material to work with! his relationship with Feeny is just starting to become what I've seen people talk about and! there are So many-#-implications with it I just!!#he's clearly such a good role model for Cory and very much wants to protect/guide him from some of the lesions in guidance allowed by their#-parents#(I'm an older brother and I See how much more my younger brother gets away with and I wasn't as good about it as Eric but I have tried-)#(-coparenting before and Eric is just so much more subtle/helpful with it. our age gaps are different which is def relevant but jfdhbdj)#clearly his failings in school act as a buffer for Cory's; clearly he's trying to watch out for Cor falling into the same dating traps-#-(they keep mirroring? hello??) clearly there's something abt friendship models as well#and we all know that shory is SO homoerotic and while his parents aren't like homophobes it's def Eric who's making jokes and treating it-#-so normally (esp! for a 90s show) that is makes me wonder how his friendships have been shaped by his attitudes towards platonic (?) male-#-sensuality/physicality. how his parents had acted in the past that Cor is unaware of (they are 4-5 yrs apart) that fucked up Eric and how-#-he's trying to protect Cor and how A&A are letting it slide more bc of how it fucked Eric. a lot of this is wishful projecting oops#(A&A is Amy & Alan)#and Eric is just so. comfortably masculine like he's such a little guy augh#all of the men in this show are so Generally positively masculine like even Harley is like that- he's amused by these little 7th graders-#-who can't seem to leave them alone and he threatens them a lot but after he saw Eric sticking up for Cor (+ Mr. Turner) he seems to-#-respect the whole family a lot more. and his respect/caring for TK is insane and his Freddie+Joey (clearly in love idc) are simply allowed#-to exist and are protected and supported by him- Harley (the closest we've seen to toxic masculinity so far barring maybe Alan but idk)#and don't even get me STARTED on Mr. Turner and Mr. Feeny ugh. those two + Cor OH SHIT they are the maid the mother the crone but men lowke#motifs of 3 (we started Brodeck's Report in eng today) and mirrors and foreshadowing etc etc#anyways that's why I'd focus on Eric bc I can't stop thinking abt EVERYONE and that would be Too long of an essay#parallels btwn Jason (or Jack we'll see)/Eric and Shawn/Cory could SO work with that#would not bring in GMW though that would also be Too long of an essay#pavloving myself into loving analysis of media bc of IB english <3 stockholm type beat
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🦋
#hmmmm.#so as a rule i say thank you when i go out. a lot. bc i was told once that saying thank you instead of im sorry#would make ppl feel less uncomfortable so i swapped the phrases out.#similarly i was told once that compliments make ppl happy&also if im specifically looking for Good Things#i will find them-- as opposed to letting my head do whatever it wants bc given the extremely violent intrusive+obsessive thoughts#directing it towards Good Things works out for everyone if ppl enjoy compliments.#im also like. extremely aware that these facts-- along w my fervent occasionally manic insistence on being Nice when interacting w ppl#(bc i thought we all were told as kids to treat others the way we wanted to be treated??? lmao.)#-- all add up to make me seem insincere at times or to some ppl. i. dont care. LMAO.#its too exhausting to care. like ppl find whatever they want to find&if ppl are so set on my being a certain way#so much so that my being a nice person can only be explained by nefarious intent (to acheive. what. kindness from others? lmao.)#how in the fuck can any of that be my fault or-- MUCH more importantly-- my problem???#however lately its like ppl have been getting like. Offended. by the impulses. which is becoming... boring. for me. lmao.#bc it isnt like i dont mean it when im extensively polite&complimentary-- i mean everything i say bc even when anxiously filling silence#i dont like wasting my time on like. lying for no reason lmao.#its more so that if it becomes a hinderance to be myself ill go the route that benefits me which is the one of least resistance#&i will ALSO mean it when i make someone cry w exactly the same amount of effort lmao#bc proving a point-- even if its proving someone elses point-- correct is extremely easy either way lmao.#its weird to me that ppl would think seeing good in something means that seeing bad in it isnt possible lmao#the same way its extremely confusing to me that ppl would think kindness&abject cruelty cant like. coexist lmao.#i feel accepting that on a micro level would help ppl accept it on a macro level.#either way i know it would save me some time in having to deal w ppl biting off more than they can chew#before realizing that i will rip chunks out of them&lick the tears up like a dog if they insist on tempting me like one LMAO.#at the very least it might help more ppl appreciate the fact that regardless of how vivid the fantasies#i have yet to hit anyone repeatedly w a baseball bat to relieve some stress.#... lmao.
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#delete later#im so exhausted and stressed. theres such a lack of stability and its freaking me out SO much. im just constantly tense and waiting#for something terrible to happen. im starting to think that im not gonna get to go to the entomology thing ive been hoping#how i can't do things independently and i must have been forced into this abd rhen it'll get cruel towards my friends abd i cant#and my aunt is getting worse abd my parents are waiting for me to fail abd have to move bsck with them which i can't do bc#to go to for months bc ill probably need to use that time off for preparing to move. which sucks. ive been looking forward to it#i was letting myself get my hopes up and that was a mistake bc now im rly disappointed. im hoping i can go but honestly#idk if it'd be financially responsible. same with comic con. its in october so i can probably go but it might not be a financially#good idea. it just. the things i was counting on to be stable sources of joy are not stable anymore and that's making everything worse#and im tryinh to be positive but im so anxious. theres just so much. i need to think about packing and try to figure out#how im going to move 1-2 hours away. how am i going to coordinate with movers whilst having to get the train to meet them#im disabled and cabt help move things so only getting one person ro deliver worries me. movers arent insured to take ppl with them#theres just SO MUCH. And i can't view properties easily bc of work so im missing out on multiple places that ive been contacting#ppl about abd i couldnt line up enough for last week when i was off bc it was too short notice and i just. its TOO MUCH TOO MUCH#im overwhelmed. im trying to think of the food im gonna cook when im there ahd the armchair im gonna buy#im gonna eat so much fucking lamb and fish oh ny god im excited for THAT#i wany to just go for the shittiest place to at least have some stability and bc i still have yhat kernel of thought that i dont#deserve comfort but im trying to fight it bc i do. i deserve somewhere nice and its unfair on myself not to find somewhere nice#especially as ill be living alone. i cant go for places that have no natural light or are four stories up or are a mile away from the train#station bc that will wreck my mental health and i wont have ready access to socialising that can stabilise me. gotta be fair#to myself. but THATS PROVING REAL DIFFICULT#im doing good saving though so thats nice i guess. fuck me moving is expensive. moving when you've got zero kitchen supplies is#even more so. gonna be an Interesting first couple days in the new place.#it will be. very bad. they keep texting me asking about it and i have to be positive bc otherwise itll become a conversation about#field all that shit when im like this. i just cant. that requires so much fucking energy i dont have. and i wont move back#id frankly rather die. and trying to not say that and decline politely sucks. bc they get the look of#oh we're not good enough huh#and i can't field their fucking feelings. i either need a pause button or a fast forward. id take either one#so many of these tags ended up out of order whoops. but these arent meant to be read anyway#i just need to scream bc idk what else to do
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Hi. This is my first time writing arequest so i dont really know what im doing but i love your husband sukuna series and i wanna ask for a husband sukuna with a shy baby daughter bc your sukuna is 🤌
reluctance — ryomen sukuna x f!reader
a/n: so glad you like my husband!sukuna works <33 hope this one is to your liking as well MWUAH 🫶
“come on, d/n,” you coax gently.
your daughter, barely two years old, shakes her head from behind your legs, her tiny hands clutching the fabric of your kimono as she hides from the imposing figure of her father.
sukuna stands at the doorway, his arms crossed, his usual stern expression in place.
“she’s still hiding?” sukuna raises an eyebrow, his deep voice filling the room, though it isn’t harsh.
you kneel, gently petting your daughter’s head, “she’s shy. you know how she gets when you’re around.”
sukuna exhales slowly. he observes your daughter quietly. wide-eyed but cautious, her tiny fingers tightening their grip on you. your daughter was notably quite soft.
it didn’t help that her father, sukuna, didn’t exactly have the most inviting presence.
“come here,” he says, his tone gruff, holding out a hand.
the little girl hesitates, her bottom lip trembling slightly. you place a reassuring hand on her back and whisper softly, “it’s okay” you smile, “that’s your dad; he won’t hurt you.”
at your words, sukuna looks down at your daughter, his daughter.
she looks up at you, then back at sukuna. with the smallest shuffle, she takes one step toward him then sees him quirk an eyebrow which makes her quickly retreat, still unsure.
sukuna clicks his tongue, while you giggle. your daughter clings harder onto you at the sound of his disapproval.
“she sure is jumpy,” he says, stretched hand moving to rest on his hips, “how the hell is that my daughter?”
“ever studied biology?”
“do not get smart with me,” he warns, but his threats have long lost their effect on you.
the little interaction gives your daughter a sense of familiarity, seeing you talk so easily with him. with some courage finally mustered, your daughter blinks up at sukuna, her small voice barely audible as she mumbles, “papa...?”
sukuna’s sharp gaze relaxes just the faintest bit at the sound of her voice, “yes. I’m right here.”
she stares for another moment, before she toddles over to him. she stumbles and holds desperately onto his legs. she looks up at him, and he gives her no reaction.
your daughter takes that as a good sign, and she looks back at you with sparkly eyes.
“there you go,” you laugh, standing up. “see? not so bad.”
sukuna looks at your daughter, then back at you, “you coddle her too much.”
you fold your arms with a playful smirk, “she’s two. she’s allowed to be coddled a little.”
“she’ll be stronger if she learns early.” sukuna’s voice is firm. she is clinging to him now, a little less hesitant as she begins to tug at his kimono.
she lets out small mumbles as she tries to gain his attention.
"uh-huh, sure," you tease, stepping closer and placing your hand on his forearm, "you’re so tough, honey. maybe we should get her a little curse to toughen her up. would that make you happy?"
he scoffs but doesn’t answer, his attention flicking back to the girl holding onto him. you could see the faintest hint of something in his expression, though it wasn’t something he would ever acknowledge verbally.
for some reason, the scene of his daughter faced with a curse, at least in this age, doesn’t particularly please him.
her eyes are soft. her entire being is. there is no way that she would survive, and knowing his little daughter, she will burst into tears the moment the curse appears. that conclusion makes him think.
he stays silent, before he finally mutters, "never mind. she's fine the way she is.”
you beam at his words and pull his face down to place a kiss on his cheek, “aww, you are going soft, yay!”
“I will kill you,” he sneers, but then he feels his daughter raise her arms. he looks down at her with a scowl, “what do you want, you brat?”
the tone makes her flinch back, but then she tightens her fist and stutters, “u-up!”
“you and your mother are insolent,” he side-eyes you, and you raise your hands in surrender. his eyes flick back to her, “you ordering me around?”
her eyes start to water, but she tries to persevere, “up…?”
your husband groans and bends down to pick her up. the way he gives into her demands is sweet in its own way.
it would make you laugh, if he didn’t pick you up in process which instead makes you gasp. now, both you and your daughter are carried—effortlessly—in his arms.
you smile widely at your husband, while he avoids looking at you. sukuna instead looks at you daughter. he then asks, “are you happy now?”
your daughter stares silently at him, and he stares at her back. in the midst all this staring, your daughter realizes something: her dad has a second face.
her lips start quivering, and she raises her hands to cover her face as she starts bawling and wailing
“ugh, why is she crying now?” your husband groans, irked by the sudden loud noise.
“your face probably scares her.”
“I hate kids.”
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