#Sighhhh if only I could just keep doing that

[luckyyyduckyyy]

My ass is cooked in crit tomorrow 😔

[arolesbianism]

I am thinking very very hard abt the toy world guys and oh baby I love dropping in disturbing lore bits that are just sorta dripped into the actual plot and otherwise are not explained <3

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

i complain about this every so often but god going back to school to get my phd is going to be such a stupid financial decision

[berristreasuredlibrary]

Big beefy men...sighhhh

MDNI: smut ahead (18+), not proofread, I wanted to write something and this was the best I could do :(

Big beefy men who take up the entirety of doorframes, who have to lower their heads to walk into your home. Big beefy men whose muscles strain against their clothes, their biceps stretching the material of their sleeves, their thighs being shown off in their pants.

Big muscles just begging to be set free, thick, and defined by years of use. So big that both your hands just barely enclose around their forearm, much less their bicep. Big beefy men who let you hand from said biceps whenever they flex, strong enough to lift you off the ground with ease, hardly breaking a sweat as they grin down at you, proud of how easily they can carry you around. How simple it is to maneuver you this way and that.

They love showing off for you, picking up heavy things, taking the groceries inside for you - big hands able to carry multiple bags at once - grabbing things up on high shelves for you, and so much more. He loves hearing you coo at him, telling him how big and strong he is, adoration dancing across your pretty eyes, his own shining with pride and his cheeks tinged a light pink.

Big beefy men who adore holding you, molding your softer body to his harder one, a strong arm wrapped around your middle, keeping you pressed close to him. His free hand tangled in your hair, fingers combing through the strands slowly, nails scratching your scalp lightly as he watches your eyes flutter, fighting off your sleepiness.

Big beefy men who adore being held by you just as much, if not more. Their faces pressed into your chest, one of your legs hooked over him, keeping him close as your fingers toy with his hair or trace shapes upon his broad back. His arms are wrapped around your waist, face buried into your chest, occasionally trailing ticklish kisses from one side to the other.

They adore being wrapped in your embrace, the size difference making their minds hazy with want, feeling how much smaller you were compared to them. It made their brain go fuzzy, scenarios flashing through their mind, images of you being pinned beneath them, struggling and squirming when the angry tip of his cock nudges through your soaked folds, rutting against your clit like a wild animal in heat.

It was only logical that he fulfill his fantasies, he knows you wouldn't deny him, especially if he spoke so softly towards you. If he tugged on your shirt and pouted up at you, batting his lashes and rubbing his nose against your chest and throat, like a puppy begging for attention. He mouths at your pulse point, licking and sucking different-sized marks across your skin, his hands pushing up your shirt to expose more of your softness to him.

When your fingers tangle in his hair, he merely groans as he latches onto a nipple, licking and sucking harshly while his fingers toy with the other, pinching and rolling it as his free hand travels south. When his hand reaches your panties, he tugs them down your legs, bunching the fabric in his hands before he pushes the ruined garment into your mouth, listening to you whine and feeling you squirm against him.

His mouth leaves your nipple briefly, pressing a kiss to the bud before he latches onto the other, giving it the same treatment as its twin, his hands pushing apart your legs, holding them down against the bed as he shifts onto his knees. Sitting upright, he stares down at you, eyes full of the same adoration you have for him, his gaze flickering between your marked neck, your pretty nipples, and your drooling pussy.

He can't help himself, not when you look absolutely ravishing spread out for him like this. So, he dips down, pushing his hips into the mattress for relief, and pushes his tongue between your folds, dragging his tongue from your fluttering hole to your throbbing clit. Licking up your slick, he groans into your pussy, muttering something about how sweet you are before he's burying his face into your cunt, arms locking around your thighs to pull you flush against his mouth.

He's messy, uncaring about how your slick and his drool drips down his chin, the only thought bouncing around his head is you - how good your skin feels against his hands, how fucking delicious you taste, how pretty your muffled moans sound. His cock throbs, it aches when he glances up at you, eyes locking on your expression, watching your eyes flutter and your chest heave. When your fingers tug on his hair, he struggles to swallow down a moan, his fingers digging into your plush thighs, his tongue dipping into your hole, slurping up whatever your pussy drools for him.

When your orgasm crashes over you, your body thrashes against the mattress, your hips pushing back into the plush bed, hands shoving at his head and shoulder, desperate to get away from him; or at least make him ease up from his licking and sucking. Your attempts are futile, however, with the way his arms lock around your thighs, uncaring about his lack of oxygen - even forcing your thighs to close around his head with his big arms, he continues to slurp messily, making out with your gushing pussy until he's finished.

When he does finally pull away, his hands are grabbing your hips to flip you over, forcing your back to arch as he pulls your drenched panties from your mouth. His hands fumble to push his sweats down, hissing through gritted teeth as his cock springs free, swollen and leaking pre from an angry tip. His hands grab the fat of your ass, kneading the plush skin with his big palms, hips canting forward to rub against your pussy, feeling you twitch and whine, still reeling from your powerful orgasm.

When he deems himself slick enough, he grabs the base of his dick with one hand, nudging your entrance with a grunt, his other hand on your hip, keeping you in place as he begins pushing into your sensitive pussy. Listening to you whine and feeling you trying to squirm away from him, he huffs, grabbing you by the crooks of your elbows and pulling you up slightly, fingers digging into your skin as he continues pushing his angry dick into you.

Your whines only grow louder, breathless moans leaving your bitten lips by the deliciously painful stretch, your pussy spasming around his thick cock. His groans and pathetic little moans leave your mind hazy, paired with the familiar burn of being stretched out by your lover, you can hardly think straight. When your hips rock back impatiently, his mind reels, and his hips snap forward, forcing the rest of his dick into your clenching pussy, a shiver running down his spine at the beautiful mewl that leaves your lips.

His hands pull you back to meet each ruthless snap of his strong hips, his nails leaving indents in your skin as your hands clench, your back arching as your head falls forward, your mind a foggy haze of building pleasure. The loud squelching sounds of your pussy rival the loud moans leaving the both of you, the creak of your poor bed, and the headboard hitting the wall with each brutal thrust.

Sweat rolls down his temple as he mouths at your neck and shoulder, biting down when your pussy clamps around him, stifling a ragged moan as his thrusts become increasingly rough. He lets go of your arms, letting you fall forward onto the mattress, big hands grabbing your waist and pushing down, forcing your arch even deeper as his balls smack against your sensitive clit, his knees pushing your thighs apart.

It's animalistic, the way he thrusts into you, like an animal in heat, chasing release with a bruising hold on you. Your poor body jolts against the bed, pitiful moans and whines leaving you as your hands fist the sheets beneath you, the pressure in your lower tummy becoming too much for you to handle. Your babbles only serve to drive him madder, his hips shifting to hit that spot inside your gummy walls, groaning when he feels you tightening around his cock.

He grits his teeth, staring down at your body when he pushes you over the edge, your orgasm crashing over you in powerful waves, pussy gushing onto the sheets, your face buried into the pillows, muffling your sobs as your entire body shakes and jolts, thrashing beneath your lover who refuses to let up; absolutely enamored by the sight of you falling apart on his cock.

It doesn't take much longer for his cock to twitch, the familiar sign of his impending release. Pathetic mewls leave your lips, eyes glossy and unfocused as he grits his teeth, leaning over to press onto you, his hands on either side of your head, fisting the sheets as his body keeps you pressed down on the mattress, his hips just rutting into you now.

His head falls forward into the crook of your neck, desperate kisses are pressed to your sweaty skin, his body going rigid as spurts of cum shoot into your poor pussy, his hips simply grinding into your ass now, drawn-out moans muffled into your neck, his knuckles going white with the grip he has on the sheets, veins visible along his forearms and hands as his hips finally still, the last spurts of cum painting your gummy walls.

Panting fills the room, both yours and his, your legs trembling and your body twitching through the aftershocks of such violent orgasms. Tender kisses are pressed to your sweaty temple and messy hair, his hands smoothing over your waist and hips, murmuring about how good you were to him as he slowly withdrawals from your addicting pussy. His eyes are immediately drawn to your cunt, his mouth falling open to let out a sinful groan as he watches his cum slowly spill from your spent pussy.

The sight alone has his dick stirring to life once more, greedy hands turning you over, shoving a pillow under your hips to aide you, despite your weak protests, his hands already grabbing your legs to put over his broad shoulders, apologies leaving his lips as he glides his angry tip through your folds once more.

Big beefy men who are insatiable animals when it comes to you.

KNY: Kyojuro, Sanemi...

JJK: Gojo, Geto...

AOT: Jean, Armin...

MHA: Keigo...

COD: Konig, Soap (Johnny)

+ more

[dimlylittorch]

sighhhh the silco brain rot is real. i need him like i need air. he’s on my christmas list.

My Masterlist🌱

Silco x transmasc!chubby!sweetheart!assistant!reader

extension of this drabble

this is very ‘by me, for me’😀 so reader may not cater to everyone, forgive my self indulgence. IT ENDED WITH ANGST I’M SORRY. THIS IS PART 1, THERE WILL BE MORE I PROMISE

You had been working for Silco for a few weeks now, and to be quite honest you liked your job. He treated you well, the pay was good, and considering you lived in Piltover it was nice to see a whole other world that you never knew much about.

Silco had taken a special liking to you- it was clear to anyone no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Let’s just say he liked to keep you on a short leash. He felt more comfortable when he had you at his side, more at ease. Of course, you were such a sweet little thing you never even noticed. He’s very nice to you- maybe he’s just a great boss, right?

He initially had planned on having you as more of a trophy, not really expecting you to do any real work. But much to his surprise you took your job seriously. On your first day you’d walked in with your own satchel bag, notepads and pens at the ready for whenever he needed you. Having people at his disposal was a common thing for him, of course. But having someone be so eager to work for him? It made his chest stir in ways he hadn’t felt in years.

When you were in the room, his eyes were always following. He couldn’t help it. You were like a swan surrounded by geese- you stood out beautifully compared to everyone else in the Undercity. Whether it be your topsider clothing or your kind features, it didn’t matter. You kept his gaze all the same.

One thing he adored about you was your clothing to be honest. Everything you wore was soft and clean, nothing like the others. You weren’t here to fight, so no need to dress like it, right? You were oblivious to how often he had to kick someone’s head in before walking back into his office to give you a faint smile and nod before discussing business. The first time you wore a turtle neck he swore his heart stopped. A brown turtle neck with earthy green pants and brown boots. When you saw the look on his face as you pulled your jacket off, you paused.

“I’m sorry- I meant to ask you if Earth tones were okay” you say softly, gaze laced with worry that you’d done something wrong. “I can go home and change if it’s not the office attire you had in mind-“ you start to say, but he quickly cuts you off.

“It’s fine.” He says simply, but his heart was hammering in his chest. “We don’t have a dress code.. just as long as you look nice.” I murmurs before he takes a puff of his cigar, trying to seem nonchalant- but in reality, he didn’t ask anyone else to look nice. Only you.

His words made a smile form on your lips, as sweet as always. “Of course- I think I can manage that.” You say sweetly.

He had gotten you your own desk in his office of all places. He always wanted you within arms reach if possible. Anything you requested he got for you. Although he had to make it seem like he was begrudging about it, in reality he had it ordered within a day.

You had been sitting at your desk, sorting a few papers into different folders before glancing over at him. “Do you think.. maybe I could have a filing cabinet?” You said softly, your voice quiet but he heard it clearly throughout the silent office.

“Whatever for?” He muttered with faux annoyance.

“Well- it would make keeping track of the files a lot more convenient. I can make them more easily accessible for you that way.” You say tentatively. “That is- if you plan on keeping me for long enough to set it all up.”

He’d tensed at your last words- the thought of you leaving making his blood pressure spike. “I’ll see what I can do.” Let’s just say you had a filing cabinet next to your desk the next day.

He’s always hesitant to have you do any work that involves you talking with other people. You’re not used to how rough they are, and he’d hate for his favorite little assistant to get dirtied by some street rat. He does find that you do well with his other workers. It’s often the same case as him- they have to maintain their image, so they act like they don’t like you. But in reality they do appreciate a non threatening presence every once in a while.

He had snapped at one of his men that were rude to you, even though you had simply smiled and taken it before making yourself scarce. He came up to you later and told you he’d ’handled it.’

“Assistant” he murmurs as he walks into his office, slamming the door behind him. You were sitting at your desk with your sleeve rolled over your hand, resting at the corner of your eye as you keep your gaze on your paperwork. You might’ve shed a tear or two.. who can blame you? These people were much scarier than you were used to. Silco certainly didn’t. He walks over to your desk, standing next to the filing cabinet and leaning against it while taking a puff of his cigar. “The moment someone has a problem with you, they have a problem with me.” He says quietly, his tone laced with a little layer of venom. “Be a good boy and let me know the next time someone misbehaves, hm?”

One night you end up staying in the office later than you had expected to, grabbing your bag and heading out the door. When you realize how late it is you hesitate, seeing how the streets were full of all kinds of.. people. Lucky for you Silco was just coming back from some business, raising and eyebrow when he sees you outside by yourself at that time of night.

“Assistant?” He questions quietly as he slips out of the alley way and into the light. You flinch slightly, but quickly relax and smile when you see that it’s him.

“How was your meeting?” You say sweetly as you stand in the doorway to his office, completely unaware that his ‘meeting’ was just settling a score or two.

“Business as usual” he murmurs as he moves to stand at the bottom of the small step. “And what, might I ask, are you still doing here?”

When he’s only a few inches in front of you, you feel your face flush slightly. You smiled wider, hoping he wouldn’t notice it. “I didn’t realize how late it had gotten.. I suppose I’ve gotten used to you kicking me out at quitting time” you chuckle.

“Hm” he hums as he glances around, noticing the stragglers wandering down the dark streets. “I’ll walk you home.” He speaks, leaving no room for argument. You couldn’t refuse, could you? So you simply followed him down the winding streets.

“I’m sorry to make you walk me all the way up there..” you murmur faintly as you both stroll along at a leisurely pace. It was easy to walk without fear when he was next to you.. no one would dare come up to you- or him, for that matter. “But I really do appreciate you.”

He doesn’t miss the way his heart skips a beat when he hears your words. ‘You.’ You could’ve easily said ‘I really do appreciate it.’ But you said ‘You.’ It drove him up the wall knowing how the smallest things you did and said made him feel like a teenager again. “What kind of man would I be if I didn’t walk you home..” he murmurs while taking a puff of his cigar.

And of course, his words make your heart skip a beat too. He could’ve easily said ‘boss’ instead of ‘man’. But he didn’t. He saw himself as more than your boss. You liked that. More than you thought you would. You felt stupid for letting yourself get worked up something so simple.

Once he’d walked you to the elevator that led up to Piltover, you both stopped at the door. Keeping your eyes downcast shyly, he couldn’t help but let his eyes trail over you, hands slipping into his pockets as he tosses his cigar and steps on it, oozing as much confidence as usual. It was hard to hide the way your cheeks were burning slightly. When was the last time a man was nice enough to walk you home?

He knew you’d be safe from here.. no sense in going up with you. He starts to turn away to slip back into the dark streets, but before he can you grab his arm, keeping him from leaving. He tenses, slowly looking over his shoulder to meet your eyes, his eyebrow raising questioningly.

When you realize what you’d done you quickly let go of him, but not before straightening out the sleeve of his shirt. “I’m sorry.” You say quickly. “I just-“ you add, trying to think of something reasonable to say. When you can’t think of anything.. you decide to settle for the truth. “You’re a really.. good man.” You say gently as your eyes meet his own.

The second you had grabbed his arm, every nerve in his body was on fire. You’d barely touched before, and it was something he didn’t know he needed so desperately. When he hears your words, he can’t help but stay quiet for a moment. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had said he was good, let alone complimented him. And your honesty? He adored. He didn’t know anyone that dared be honest with how they felt. “I don’t think you know me very well if you think that.” He says quietly, trying to make his voice uncaring. His eyes glance down at his sleeve where you’d just touched him.. he swore he could still feel your hands on him.

“You’re kind to me.” You say softly. “And you listen. You’ve never yelled at me- not to mention you walked me all the way over here..” you murmur.

He could hardly believe his ears. Yes, he had been especially nice to you. But for someone like you? That should all be the bare minimum. “Do you always get emotionally attached to your employers?” He snaps, taking a few steps away from you.

Your heart freezes at his tone, quickly taking a step back yourself. “I.. I thought-“

“Perhaps you should try to be an adult.” He says firmly as he adjusts his shirt where your hands had been. “Whatever you’re thinking- get it out of your head. I don’t pay you to think, do I?” He mutters coldly as he starts walking down the alleyway.

Leaving you standing there was one of the hardest things he’s done. He couldn’t show weakness. He couldn’t let you worm your way into his heart. But you already had. And he’d just ruined it all.

[artdcnaldson]

y'all have we considered the implications of art, at the peak of his career, fucking a young groupie and just letting her stroke his ego to outrageous lengths? what might that do for the world moving forward? much to discuss and ponder upon...

-🐞

Considered 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️sigh… this era…….

Sighhhh,,, art at the peak of his career, finding a girl who comes to every single signing, major tournament, to any appearance. Just so adoring, almost to the point of worship.

Hands shaking as he signs whatever it is that he’s signing that day (a hat, a shirt, a tennis ball… he wonders where the fuck you keep it all) in a dove gray hotel conference room, the best place to accommodate a crowd. You smile, so soft and pretty. “I’m such a big fan. Your biggest fan!” He honestly believes it.

You run into him on accident, later in the day. You’re on your phone, it’s raining, the screen squeaks as you try to press the Uber app. You bump into a large plane of solid muscle and apologize before you even look up.

“It’s fine.” And you recognize that voice the second it hits your ears.

Your eyes widen and you look up with a pretty smile, like you’re fucking star struck, little hearts in your eyes. “Hi— wow… you’re… hi.” It’s not even close to eloquent, but for some reason the fact that he’s referred you down to monosyllabic words is endearing.

It doesn’t take much convincing for you to, go inside where it’s dry with him. Even less to go talk somewhere private. You talk to him about nothing in particular, just gushing on and on about how closely you’ve followed his career— that you can’t wait to see him play the Open in a month. That he’s definitely going to win, that no one’s even close to his talent.

It’s nice for him to hear nothing but your sweet, adoring praise. It’s so different than meetings with his team, where he hears nothing but the ways his game is declining, how he needs to improve. You treat him like he’s a god, like he could lose a million fucking games and you’d still convince yourself he could do no wrong. Its addicting.

You freeze when he kisses you, only for a moment, but you’re not stupid. That’s your chance— you’re taking it. You want to know how his tongue feels against yours, the taste of his spit and lips and skin. It’s a hungry, feral urgency. The knowledge that any second he’d pull back and realize that it’s wrong and he shouldn’t.

But he doesn’t. He kisses you like he needs you to live. His mouth hot and insistent as he moves down you kiss your throat, as he gropes you over your clothes (a neon green, Art Donaldson shirt they sold outside of last year’s US Open).

“Can I…?” Your eyes are wide, soft, eager. So fucking eager. You sink to your knees like it’s another form of worship.

[saturnxlust]

Sighhhh this is a shit post cause i have nothing else to do🫶🫶

John Marston x Fem!Reader

Hes a interesting lover

He isnt that bad but hes not like amazing

I imagine he was a good dad for the most part to john but i dont think he’d want another kid

If you do he might just shove jack in your arms and let you take care of him for awhile

Jack is a sweetheart though🫶🫶

I dont think abigal could really complain about their marriage other then the fact he ran away for about a year and constantly left for days at a time without telling anyone

If you have a problem with that he might just shrug and offer to take you with him

But if you decline and ask him to stay home with you hes not too keen on it

Most of the time its usually missions dutch sends him on that take days but there have been a few occasions where they take a week

When everything went bad with the gang at the bank his first priority was you and jack

He wanted to get you out of this life and run away like he had before blackwater

He knew everyone would be counting on him and arthur to keep dutch sane though so he begrudgingly stayed

When arthur, dutch, javier, and micah go missing its chaos

He goes practically insane not knowing what to do

He also heavily mourns the loss of his “adopted” father hosea

He shuts down almost completely and relies on you for almost everything

Most of his days are spent in his cot wishing for them to come back, that is until you join him

He gets distracted by you almost enough to forget hes lost his 2 father figures and his older brother figure

Micah he doesnt really care about, never understand why the man was so sour all the time

Javier he misses, mostly wanting him to be at the camp to bring everyones spirts up by playing a song

Secretly sings one of javiers songs while working by himself

When they finally come back hes never been happier, but while he was slumped in bed he was imagining hosea would come back with them and that they had grabbed his body to keep him alive

When thats not the case he cries

Genuine tears fall from his eyes that night as he holds you and goes through the grieving process all over again

It took some words of encouragement from arthur to get him up and moving the next day

When dutch and micah flee leaving arthur and him and a few others to deal with their attackers

He doesnt let you out of his sight

Not wanting you to get hit in the crossfire

Once everything was over and you all were safe again he never left your side and his hands stayed on you at all costs

He feels like if he isnt holding you and constantly around you then something will happen

When evrything goes bad and arthur dies? Oh god

You thought he was bad before

Hes awful now

He starts crying as soon as he finds out and if your off doing something he immediately seeks your comfort

Walking up to you and holding you while he cries into your shoulder is the only thing he knows to do right now

When he eventually calms a little hes gone

Lost almost completely

Theres not much you can say without him breaking down again so you decide to be silent

Holding him and running your hands through his hair

He falls to his knees infront of you and his arms wrap around your wait as he cries into your stomach

His hat is long gone somewhere but it didnt matter to him

All that mattered is that his best friend and brother was dead and there was nothing he could do

He wished arthur had told him sooner

He wished he had read the signs after micah began calling him black lung

He wished he had gotten arthur medicine

Even if it wouldnt have helped much it wouldve done something

And then the anger sets in

He gets up abruptly and walks away

Beginning to throw and punch things, nothing at you

Not even close to you

He screams and curses micah and dutches names

Feeling betrayed by those he once called his family

Once the anger leaves he breaks down again

Sobbing and shaking as he reaches out for you, silently begging you to do something to fix this

You just walked over and held him in your arms, letting him fall asleep against you

The last thing you remember seeing is him snoring softly in your arms as you leaned against a tree

Falling asleep yourself after being so tired of being on the run

God knows what happened to the rest and may god keep them safe is the last thought that rings through your head before you fall asleep with john pressed against you

Oh my god i didnt realize how in depth i went with his grief😭😭

[moonstruckpupwrites]

piercing pandemonium | one-shot

swapfell papyrus x reader

content warnings: suggestive situation, piercing biting, needles mentioned, cursing

author's note: THIS IS SO FUKCING STUPID AND SELF INDULGENT and also admittedly not my best work. i banged this out in a few days because i needed to practice getting back into writing and wanted to make something short with rusty <3

“c'monnn,” Rusty poked at your cheek with a phalange, trying to get you to look up from your phone to acknowledge him. You just batted his hand away lightly.

“Noooo,” you replied, giggling, then, more sternly, “no, Rus, I already told you, even I'm not really supposed to touch them.” Rusty dramatically groaned in response and rolled off his messy bed onto his equally messy floor.

When sweet silence filled the room once more, you finally looked up from the screen in your hand with a sort of dry amusement.

“You done?” 

“sighhhh…i guess…” Papyrus relented, drawing circles into the fluffy carpet with his long finger bones mournfully. If a skeleton could stick out their bottom lip and pout, you were certain he'd be doing just that.

After a moment of peace, though, he was back at it again, placing a hand on your knee to try and keep your attention on him and off your screen for just a moment longer.

 “what if i just touch them a little bit?”

You exhaled hard through your nose, trying to cover up your laugh at your friend's antics.

The topic of discussion: your new lip piercings and how badly Rusty wanted to prod at them. Why he wanted to do so so badly, you couldn't begin to pretend to understand.

Probably just because he's been told he shouldn't.

“Why do you even want to touch them anyways?” you finally decided to ask, voice slightly exasperated, “my lips are still bruised up AND they're crusty. It's kind of nasty, man.”

Rusty shrugged in return, an impish grin spreading across his face.

…Who were you kidding, it was definitely because he'd been told he shouldn't.

Now, it wasn't that you were exactly against letting Rusty touch your piercings, you just knew in the logical parts of your brain that it probably wasn't a smart, advisable idea. Your piercer had drilled into your head that you were supposed to keep them clean, and part of that was probably not allowing any curious skeletons to touch them.

But the other part of your brain, the part that realllyyyy liked the thought of the monster in front of you fawning over your new jewelry, had other plans.

“...Okay.”

Rusty sat up straight and looked up at you from his place on the floor with a growing grin on his skull. He looked like he had just been told that he had won the lottery.

“...really?”

“Really.”

“...you sure??”

“I'm sure.”

Rusty let out an excited little whoop before tossing his gangly arms around your waist and burying his head in your stomach. 

“thank youuuuuuuuuuu!”

You patted the top of his skull gently, rolling your eyes good naturedly at his dramatics.

“Yeah, yeah. You're welcome, you weirdo.”

Rusty waggled his bonebrow at you as he maneuvered himself to re-take his place next to you on his bed.

“you love it!”

“I love you,” you corrected, making to flick the side of the skeleton’s head, only for his hand to reach up and catch yours before it could reach its destination.

“i love you too,” Rusty sing songed back, clutching your hand to his chest and pretending to swoon, “now sit still and let me finger you!”

You barked out a laugh, caught off guard by Papyrus' choice of words.

“Okay, okay!” you snorted, trying to recover from your initial surprise, turning more to fully face Rusty and crossing your legs on the bed in front of you. “Poke away! But please, be gentle!”

“i will, i will,” the skeleton assured while chuckling, reaching his hands up to cup your face. “...or will i?” You shot him a look that must have screamed “you fucking better” because the tenderness with which he cradled your jaw left you pleasantly surprised.

You could feel your cheeks heating up as the soft fabric of your buddy’s gloves and hard bone of his phalanges held you with an unexpected gentleness. A silence fell over the room as his eye lights flickered from one piercing to the other, taking in the sight of the silver metal against your skin.

“...Are you going to do it or are you just going to sit there and stare all day?” you asked after what felt like an eternity.

He squeezed your face a little, forcing your lips to pucker and effectively silencing you.

“‘m just admirin’,” he hummed, his tone uncharacteristically soft. Your lips twitched into a shy smile at that, unsure of how to respond.

After another minute or so of “admirin'”, he took his thumb and gently, gently ran it over one of the piercings decorating your bottom lip. When you looked up into his eye lights, you could see that they'd grown fuzzy around the edges. Funny. You'd never seen them do that before.

“cool,” he said absentmindedly, not really directing it at you. Your breath hitched in discomfort when he pressed down on the piercing a little, testing the give of it on your skin.

“Ow, Rus, remember? Fresh piercing?” The skeleton in front of you at least had the good sense to look mildly embarrassed, zygomatic bones coloring a rusty (haha) reddish-orange as his eyelight snapped back into focus.

“nyeh heh…right…m’sorry, dude.” He continued to run his thumb over the jewelry (though more carefully this time) before moving on to the center of your slightly cracked and swollen lips. He clicked his tongue sympathetically.

“does it hurt a lot?”

You would have shaken your head if it hadn't been cupped in his two hands but you settled for a little “eh” instead.

“It hurt a lot when the needles were going through and when they were putting the jewelry in but now it's mostly just sore.”

Rusty nodded at that, a far off look on his face. You knew that look. He was thinking about something.

Hard.

That could be dangerous.

“What.”

He snapped to attention and looked at you quizzically, still holding your face like one might cradle a baby bird that has fallen from its nest.

“what what?”

“What were you thinking about, bonehead? I could practically smell the smoke.”

He snorted at the ribbing (HA. Ribs.) and faced you with a lopsided smirk on his face.

Uh oh.

“can i kiss you?”

You looked up at him, more than a little shocked, not quite believing the words that had come out of his mouth.

“Run that one by me again?”

“to see how they feel,” he continued, as if it would explain the out of the blue question. You darted your eyes around the room in bewilderment, as if searching for someone to jump out from the closet and shout at you that you'd just been crazy epically pranked or some shit.

Papyrus. Wanted to kiss you??

“...Why would you want to do that?” You managed to reply, voice coming out more taken aback than you meant for it to.

Almost immediately, Rusty let go of your face, like the heat rising to your cheeks had literally burned him. 

He let out a nervous laugh and scratched at the back of his neck. The lopsided smirk dropped from his skull, replaced by a shy, barely there smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, like he realized maybe his request was pushing it too far.

“i dunno. sorry. just curious.”

You frowned at his response. It felt odd hearing your normally talkative friend fall back into his old, shortened speech patterns from when you'd first met.

“Nah, man, don't be sorry, I just,” you struggled to find the words in your flustered state, “I guess I just wasn't expecting it is all.” Rusty leaned back on his hands, putting some distance between the two of you, almost as if he was scared of making you uncomfortable with his close proximity.

“we don't, like, have to,” he shrugged, trying to play his question off.

This fuckin guy.

“I know,” you replied, biting the inside of your cheek in thought, “But we could?”

Papyrus raised a bone brow at you, sharply inhaling (could skeletons inhale?) through his nose in surprise.

“...yeah?” he asked, tilting his head at you hopefully.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I'd be, uh, cool with that.”

“...ya just seem real nice and soft and warm and-” you put a hand up to cut his rambling off before you could start to get second hand embarrassed from him saying too much.

“Relax, dude, I already said you could. You don't have to convince me.”

“and you're really sure. like you're actually -”

“I'm actually sure that I want you to kiss me, Papyrus.”

He rocked back and forth a bit to work out his nerves, that dopey grin you are more accustomed to slowly returning to his skull. The corners of his eye sockets crinkled up in a way that only a skeleton monster's magical bones could.

“...okay, so like, do i just do it?”

Oh my God.

“Oh my God.”

“right, right, well, uh, okay! pucker up, buttercup!” He cringed at his own phrasing as soon as the words left his mouth, causing you to break into giggles at his ‘just drank spoiled milk’ expression.

He apparently decided to silence your mocking laughter by pressing his teeth to your lips in one quick, slightly rough action. His bones clicked slightly against your piercings and a little zap of magic that felt like static electricity rushed along your bruised lips.

You inhaled sharply through your nose, predictable pain from your fresh piercings shooting up into the rest of your face at Rusty's actions. You nearly pulled back, ready to end the kiss early, when you felt something warm and wet glide soothingly over your lips as if in apology.

His fucking tongue.

More sparks of magic ran through your face as the soft muscle ran over the metal of your jewelry, toying with the balls that sat flushed with your skin.

Weirdo.

Whatever. It's not like it felt bad. You just hadn't expected tongue. Like, you knew he had one, he had this habit of sticking it out when he was really concentrating on something, but you hadn't expected the feeling of it. Warm and wet and absolutely buzzing with magical intent. 

…Not that you could super clearly understand intent (though with Papyrus’ help, you were starting to get better at it), but with it in direct contact with you, you could get a pretty good idea of what was meant by the action.

Soothing/comfort/care.

Aw.

The sharp pain in your lips slowly started to become nothing more than a dull ache as Rusty continued to kiss you. Ah what the hell. You were already smoochin’ your best friend, might as well make it a full on make out sesh. 

You parted your lips slightly to allow him entrance which he accepted gratefully, a pleased rumble starting in his chest at the invitation. 

Oh man, that was a good sound. 

You could feel your breathing start to get heavier and a warmth begin to form deep in your stomach the longer the two of you went at it. 

One of his hands dropped from your cheek to rest on your waist, running his thumb along the sliver of exposed skin between the waistband of your jeans and where your t-shirt hem rode up your hip. Your breath caught in your throat at the cool sensation of bones on warm skin and you absent-mindedly let out a surprised little hum.

You heard him huff a little laugh out of his nose and continue his hand’s path up your shirt to run soothingly along your spine. You shuddered at the action, arching your back instinctively to bring your body closer to his. You fleetingly wondered how it would feel to touch his spine. Was he doing it to you because he knew it was what felt good on him? Would he mind if you-

Then the fucker tugged at your piercing with his teeth.

A sharp pain radiated from your lips and you let out a squeal, slapping at him with your hands. The fucking shithead! 

Soothing/comfort/care YOUR ASS.

He pulled off of you and let out peels of laughter at your indignant expression.

“y’should- oh fuck!! y'should’ve heard the sound ya made!” he chortled, only slightly phased by the miffed punch you landed on his arm.

“You're such a fucking dick!” You grinded out from between your teeth, covering your mouth to shield it from further attacks. Your heart pounded in your chest. 

…And surprisingly, somewhere else too.

His little stunt hurt like a bitch…but…you…well…

“aw c’mon, darlin’, i was just havin’ a little fun,” he cooed placatingly, tossing an arm around your shoulder and pulling you close enough into his side that you could feel the slight hum of his soul through his rib cage.

Oh god. You thought it was kind of hot didn’t you.

“Well you're cut off,” you huffed, more than flustered. You crossed your arms and stood up, moving away from the bed,“that's enough fun for one day.” 

You liked it! You liked it when he bit your fucking piercing!

The skeleton looked up at you from his spot on the bed, expression shifting to one of remorse. He whined out your name and reached for you pathetically.

“whhhaaaattttttt? but we were just getting started!”

“And after that move, you're finished, Papyrus!” The skeleton opened his mouth as if to say something, changed his mind, closed it, then opened it again.

“...look, sugar, ‘m real sorry-”

“They’re fresh piercings, Rusty-”

“-i didn’t mean to kill the mood-”

“-and that really hurt-”

“-i was just messing around, didn’t mean to-”

“-you’ve gotta wait until they’re healed before you try that again!”

“-cause ya any pai- what?” The skeleton stopped and stared at you for a moment, processing what you’d just said.

“...I’m smelling smoke again.”

Ignoring your teasing words, he shook his skull as if to dislodge something from his nonexistent ears before giving you a bewildered sort of look.

“...again?”

“What?”

“you said you wanna try that again?” You shifted from one foot to the other at his request for clarification and looked down at the now suddenly interesting carpet.

Aw man, maybe you should have kept that to yourself.

“...I mean, yeah, when they’re fully healed and all. Otherwise they might reject and that would really suck to have to deal with and-”

He was just messing around with you and you had to make it weird, way to go.

You cut yourself off and shrugged at him, face hot and throat dry.

God you were just digging yourself into a deeper hole, weren’t you?

“...cool.” 

You paused in your worrying to glance up at Rusty and noticed immediately that his cheek bones were deeply tinted with a soft, russet glow.

Oh.

Oh.

It suddenly dawned on you that maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t been merely messing around and was instead, quite possibly, I dunno, just as into biting your piercings as you were into having them bitten? Wow, you were learning  something new about yourself and about your good pal, Papyrus. Strengthening your unbreakable bonds of friendship and what not one make out sesh at a time.

“Cool?”

“yeah,” he let out a little laugh and shot a dorky smile your way, “i can, uh, wait until they’re healed or whatever.”

You let out a relieved little breath and returned his grin with one of your own.

“Okay. Cool.”

[alldisneyrankings]

WDAS movie ranking: Strange World

I just watched Strange World…..

Sighhhh…

I think this movie is the most mid movie I’ve ever seen. Am I using that term right? God I’m old….

It’s fine. The characters are fine. The story is fine. The pacing is fine. It’s a fine movie, not a great movie but a fine movie.

The parts that were more than fine, the animation and the color choices make the movie nice to look at. I really like the diversity in the movie and that it finally pushed some boundaries on LGBTQ+ representation. (Soooooo much controversy in the movie, yet there’s literally nothing bad, it’s just a harmless crush, get out of your asses)

The parts that were less than fine. I just couldn’t connect with anyone or anything in the movie. It just felt like I was watching a movie, and that’s it. I only really watched it for this ranking so I wasn’t that excited about watching it. Nothing was very memorable. And I feel bad because I can tell a lot of effort was put into the movie and it’s an original story! And I want to keep rooting for original stories over sequels, but I just couldn’t grab onto the characters, maybe because I don’t relate to the generational issues they have?

It’s funny though, that the movie has no specific villain, and they make a joke about that in the movie! So they’re completely aware about Disney movies lately not having actual villains in them. Which on its own I don’t mind at all! But where every film you put out is like that? Why does Disney do this? They take one trope and then slap it in every movie they release, and every 5-10 years they change it. Why not just make different types of stories all the time instead of trying to ride on what’s “popular” with audiences. Sometimes we have no clue what we want. We’re just dumb nap sacks that like to complain on the internet….. 😬

Anyway, circling back to the movie. I wish I could like it more than I do. The world just isn’t grabbing me. This is the same issue I had with Tales of the Earthsea (a ghibli movie) where the world just wasn’t well established. You don’t have to explain everything but can you explain SOMETHING?

Im still working on where I would rank this, but as soon as I watch Wish I’m going to post the whole list of WDAS movies again with these two included. For Moana 2 I’m going to wait till it goes on Disney plus. I’m assuming on Christmas or around Christmas.

[teddybeartoji]

hello president coolsville! how about 1, 3, 7 for toji and 6, 8, 10 for satoru !!!!!

OHHHMYGODDDDD HII KENDALL HIIII!!!! IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU HERE HEHEHE!!!!! I GOT SO GIDDYY JUST FROM THINKING ABT THEESEE AAAHHH THANK YOU SO MUCHH I HOPE YOU'RE DOING SOSO GOOD MY BELOVED<33

#MOJI

1. nose kisses or forehead kisses?

FOREHEAD KISSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FOREHEADKISSES FOREHEAD KISSES FOREHEAD KISSES!!!!!!! he always gives me a fat sloppy one before he goes out smhhh he's annoying.

and i love giving him forehead kisses when we're just lazing in bed; i love catching him off guard with those. a gentle smooch when he's about to doze off on top of me or when i pass him his cup of coffee before turning around to make my own. he always scrunches his nose. ALWAYS. and it's the cutest thing in the world and it's soo fucking hard to not comment on it. i am trying..... i am not immune to his stupid charms..................

3. heavy, hot, and passionate kisses or soft, sweet, and tender kisses?

me and my soft!toji agendaaaa....................... soft, sweet and tender kisses:(((( ya ofc there's a lot of heavy and hot kisses too bc hello have you seen him??? but overall this is a very gentle relationship!!!!!!! we're both still learning how to do right by each other so there are many tender moments in between the bickering and the snarky comments<333333

7. romantic dinners at fancy restaurants or take out dinners on the couch?

take out on the couch!!!!!!!!!!!!! since i am dead serious abt headcanoning him as a movie buff (this literally couldn't be more self-indulgent lmaoo), we love watching different films while ordering smth good to eat!!!! this very much counts as a date for us!!!!

#MITORU

6. "pancake" or "waffle" hand-holding?

WAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE LOVE TO HOLD HANDSS:(((((( this was a hard one ngl........ but i think the pancake is our most used way. bc it's faster. i can just slap my hand against his and tug him to whatever has caught my attention and he can do the same!!!!! and i'm not gonna lie i immediately also thought about slow dancing.... we do that a lot too hehehehe. anyway yeah - holding hands is our favourite thing everr<33

8. constantly bragging about dating each other or keeping the relationship relatively secretive?

loooooook............ i don't think we could keep it a secret if we really wanted to lmaoo. i love taking pics of him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have so many folders just for him and i loooooove showing him off!!!!!!!!!!!! and we all know how much he likes to talk...... nobody is safe from him....... satoshoko kinda hate us at this point. no secrecy here - it's always satoru this and mickey this and satoru this and mickey this sighhhh sorry for being in love okay.............................

10. constantly saying "i love you" or only say "i love you" during very serious/romantic moments?

...i think everybody on this app has seen how easily those three words fall from my lips............... yeahh.... we say it a lot but it never loses the meaning. even when we were just Best Friends we said it a lot, albeit more jokingly. it did make a bit of a silly moment when we were actually starting to cross the line between friends and lovers bc then suddenly those three words were way heavier you know.....

[taegularities]

Rid my love,

Firstly thank you for the bday wish. It made me tear up and smile like an idiot.

Secondly I don’t wanna be know for the person who like everyone and anyone.. but I’m starting to feel like I am the person who is just that.

The guy I told you about whom felt very off.. yeah haven’t talked to him since Monday last week, because my best friend discovered the “sweet things” he’s been saying came straight from the internet like blandly copy and paste. I called him out for it my text got only one ✔️ on WhatsApp for like a day and a half. I hadn’t deleted our conversation you can see it in the pic but wanted to see what he’d say if I told him who’s this (totally not logic ik)

Maybe I’m just desperate to find someone to obsess over or something or I just want someone who’s interested in me for me and not to tell me bullshit even though I tell him not to, you know?

I feel like my hyper fixation is focus on the guy who scans my bike twice a day so I can stall it in a big storage hall I don’t know if you have that too in England.. (but you know it doesn’t help when he stares me in me eyeballs and tries to keep contact for a sollen 5 seconds😂) sighhhh I need help

Thanks for coming to my ted talk

Xoxo

hi, sweet sharon!! awhie, i'm so happy i could make you smile with the birthday post!! it's all these little wishes are supposed to do 🤍

as for the guy.. oof. i'm not sure what his intentions are, but from a neutral point of view, it feels to me like he's trying out different things to impress you? like, tbh, i totally get that you're hurt, bc i wouldn't like it either if i knew someone's not putting in any effort and copy pasting all their flirting from their internet, but.. tbh, maybe he's a lil insecure? maybe he's trying to rely on pre-made stuff to ensure you're still with him emotionally. it sucks, but if you want, you could have that convo with him and ask him what his intentions truly are. communication is always key!!

but if you're getting odd vibes from him apart from that google issue, you should trust your gut feeling, too. after all, you know what's best for you, and if you're not fully feeling this, then step back, if need be. put yourself first!! nobody's worth your pain, okay!! i love you and hope you're doing better 🤍

[heylinfanclub]

I got a lot of things that get in the way of having a routine. Appointments that are biweekly, appointments that are every month on different days, appointments in general. (Nightmare nightmare nightmare).

But there’s also Friendships. I know I can’t control everythin but. What if a routine makes me less able to contact certain people? Wouldn’t that just SUCK ASS? I could check if my friends have like, schedules (the ones who wORK definitely do), but ahhhh. I mean. Friends who do work seem to manage. I was AT MY BEST when I HAD shit to do all day.

Somethin somethin ‘I have a tendency to leave myself ‘open’ for Anything and the idea of being Busy when SOMEBODY NEEDS/WANTS ME, is horrifying. I’m used to being an On Call Circus/Crisis Monkey. The idea of letting down anybody or Missing Out on Anything, drive me bananas. If anything Happens and IM NOT THERE FOR IT, surely it’s My Fault and I’m Bad.’ (Labeling and control fallacy)

My minor attempt to give myself what I want is an attempt to make a Morning Routine. But ah. I GOT ONE DAY A WEEK (OR MORE) WITH AN APPOINTMENT IN THE MORNING. Interrupts routine, stops it from sinking in, I keep fallin off the routine. But I like my appointments Early, so I’m Medicated.

Hhffff I genuinely miss having a schedule given to me by School and having People Around who remind me to take care of myself at regular intervals. Managing Anything feels impossible 88.888888% of the time. There’s too many things I WANT, NEED AND SHOULD BE DOING. And Shoulds are only okay on things that will KILL YOU if you don’t do them. Of which I will still not schedule or do (dental stuff will kill you; not checking if that’s mold under the sink will kill you; not eating will kill you [to starve is to die!]; not addressing your financial reliance on rental assistance will kill you!)

And all the psyche people say ‘they’re not allowed to tell you what you Should do’. Maybe I need an intervention huh? What then? Tell me what to do, god.

Therapy PowerPoint Slide #33: Necessity of Ego Death???

Idk if I got an ego but I def have a pattern of inactivity. And naht a clue how to address it. Cause of the. Inactivity.

I know it’s executive dysfunction but SOMEHOW other people are functioning!!! What accommodations are they GETTING that I’m not? I’m medicated, I used to fucking bullet journal, I have near endless creative resources, an education in case management, multiple therapists and a case manager…. Is it MONEY? Is it always MONEY? Maybe if my Mental Plate wasn’t full of ‘survival mode’, I could FOCUS. sighhhh.

I got dirty laundry and need to shower. Haven’t eaten and negative appetite (food adverse).

But hey. I did a tarot reading and water colored. Somehow.

[ink-n-shadow]

no because i refuse to believe demon!ghost would be malicious (at least as time progresses)

like sure he initially just wanted a pretty broken bird to keep in a cage and admire their iridescent feathers but he started developing feelings and genuinely feeling bad for them after they both couldnt fix their wing

SIGHHHH oh your brain is too beautiful it'd be awful if someone came and stole it from you ohhh noooo.... 🫣

no because you’re so right??? (also pls someone take my brain. it is so ROTTED)

CAPTIVE DOVE

𝜗𝜚 the one where demon!ghost's reasons for taking you just keep evolving

𝜗𝜚 pairing: broken angel!reader x demon!ghost 𝜗𝜚 cw: mature themes (no smut but minors still DNI), captive!reader, mentions of eating souls?, cargiving!demon!ghost 𝜗𝜚 link to all my works in the demon!ghost au can be found here

when demon!ghost first saw you, stumbling around earth side with your tattered left wing and sniveling, he almost couldn’t help but stalk you like prey. he wanted to sink his teeth into you, feast on your soul like it was his last meal, because when would he ever be able to devour something as innocent and precious as a fledgling angel?

but the closer he got to you, the more enamored he became with your appearance. you were all soft flesh and wide eyes, the white garment you had been wearing stained with dirt and tattered from thorny rose bushes—and demon!ghost couldn’t help but think how pretty you’d look locked up inside of his den, a gold cage keeping you captive and on display for him (and his guests) at all times. that’s why he coaxed you to come with him, the feigned promise of help dripping from his lips being enough to win over a naïve thing like you.

demon!ghost lasted all of two days listening to your sniveling and whining before he decided to actually try and mend your broken wing as promised. he had whisked you down from your perch in the cage, a chain around your ankle keeping you from escaping as his scarred hands tried to gently work at the break in your wing’s shape. he had only stopped once more tears sprung to your eyes as the pain became unbearable, your warbling whimpers icing the Hell’s fire racing through his veins. it had been enough to give him a sense of almost…concern. demon!ghost knew the only one who could attempt to repair your wing was up amongst he clouds, but he’d be damned to let his new pet go.

so demon!ghost would begin bringing you your favorite treats from the human realm, lowering your cage to the floor so he could kneel down and hand-feed you pomegranate seeds and chunks of sourdough bread while using his other hand to swipe away your tears. he would chalk it up to simply being a good owner, wanting to make sure his pet was well fed and healthy enough to show off to the other demons and imps that would come visit his den.

but deep down, there was a still a bit of that fallen angel lodged in his heart.

©️ ink-n-shadow 2024

do not copy, plagiarize, steal, borrow, or repost any of my work without my expressed permission

[down-for-tea]

Why can't he just fucking like me like a normal person?? Why does he have to be scared of? How fucking awesome I am?

Like if that's the case bitch, gtfo so I can find someone who isn't scared by that and can show me the love and affection I deserve??

Why should I care if you truly love me if none of your actions either show me that love and affection or make me feel loved and wanted?

Even dumber question: why tf do I still like him? Why do I still want his attention and affection? Why do I think fawning will get me the response I want out of him when it clearly hasn't done that before? Why do I keep giving him chances?

I left my last relationship from someone who definitely would have loved me until death and at least showed me love in 70% of the ways I wanted to be loved. I left because sex was a deal breaker for me. That 1 form of affection that i couldn't get was 30% that I needed. The longer I went without it, the more resentful I got because time and time again I'd be promised that I'd at least get my physical needs met, and time and time again, those opportunities came and went without any notice.

So if this guy isn't ready or willing to date me and he's not willing to fuck me regularly, what the hell am I doing? I could probably find a fwb that, even if he'd break my heart because I'm dumb and I'd catch feelings, he'd at least fuck me senseless consistently.

But again, I fucking want what I can't have. What makes it worse is this guy is super convenient which makes his lack of well anything even more glaringly obvious. Like bro, it's not like we live far from each other. He'll, we fucking work together and you still can't make time or take the initiative to see me outside of work unless it's convenient for you.

Why do I have to chase? I should just cut off my energy and let him fucking grovel and beg for me and not give in. But I also know I'll miss the groveling when he gives up and starts being an asshole because I didn't give him yet another chance. Actually idk if that's true but isn't that what usually happens?

Maybe he makes me chase because he thinks I'm easy. He doesn't have to work for my attention, affection, or body. Why do I have to play games to get what I want? Why can't it just be straightforward?

I really need to double down on my career and stop even thinking about love and sex. I wish I could at least stop thinking about sex, but I think that's physically impossible for someone who's been masturbating since before I knew what that meant.

Big sigh. I just want a guy to come sweep me off my feet and treat me right and take me out and dick me down. I want someone to be head over heels for me and not be afraid to tell me he misses me or wants to see me and goes out of his way to make plans to see me. I want someone who will prioritize me as much as I will prioritize him.

I want a soul-deep love, someone who just gets me and still wants to get to know me, someone I can just be 100% real with all the time. I want someone who wants to call me to hear my voice and talk on the phone for hours instead of only texting me.

I want someone who will talk to me about anything and everything, where I don't always have to be the one to start the conversation. I want someone who is as impressed and enamored with my thoughts and mind as they are with my body.

I want someone who will call me out on my bs and be patient with me as I work to be better in the future. I want someone who will comfort me after I've wronged them because I genuinely mean my apology and I can't bear the thought of them leaving. I need someone who understands my abandonment wounds and can help me work through them so I can love as securely as possible.

Sighhhh.

I don't even know if someone like this exists. I just needed to get this rant off my chest.

And I guess I just want someone, anyone really, to know that I really wish this guy was all of the things I want. I'm sure he could be, but I need to learn to love people for who they are and where they're at now, not for their potential. And that's a lesson I haven't learned.

Obviously.

[ji-yaaan]

°•°•𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬•°•°

Yandere!Lilia Vanrouge × Reader

Warnings: Mild yandere, Delusional behavior, Obssesion.

Note: Uhm this was a draft I made from last year I forgot to post lmao. Anyways- Ngl this is more like angst tho :'D forgive my shit writing this was a year ago :'D

Lonely dewdrops trickled as the curtains of dark grey skies covered the heavens above. The smell of petrichor and damp nature was faint yet comforting. Under the thick linen sheets was a painfully familiar embrace. Arms that tightly held your waist as if you were to fly away at any moment.

The warmth you shared in the tight embrace was intoxicating so to say. You felt like giving it all up and melt beneath this man's arms. Drowsiness invaded your mind like an addicting drug. You can't help but feel your eyelids grow heavy and melt in the midst of the fae's arms.

Not long after, the figure shifted his position and burried his face in the small crook of your neck. His soft raven locks tickling the corners of your ears.

You know yourself what you're doing is wrong, but the bittersweet temptation continues to drag you in and simply accept his gestures and advances. 'Just a little bit more' you thought.

His lithe fingers makes their way to intertwine it between yours. He held your hands tightly, but your heart simply ached more for his touch. His lips that kissed your skin gently was such a temptation per say. Yet... his fleeting touches was painfully addicting like poison, but just a little more won't hurt right? Just a few more moments to bask under his warmth...

"Can't we just go back to what we used to be, my love?"

A pained gaze meets yours. If you were to be honest, it felt like it would be alright to give up everything and go back to lilia's arms, but you simply can't...

"After doing all of the things you did? Why should I trust you again Vanrouge?"

You held back your tears as you remember the vivid memories of a broken mirror shattered on the ground. Your last hope to come back home was gone within seconds as the glass touched the ground and broke to pieces. Everything was long gone, but a pair of ruby eyes gazed at your soul as it was reflected in the broken pieces of glass.

"Now now, I didn't know you'd grow this cold my dear, but I was just doing that so we could be together, no?"

The fae chuckled to himself. His pale fingers held your chin up to look back at him with your glossy eyes. A lonely tear fell on your cheek. It was a pathetic look enough to make you look so pitiful.

"Don't cry now my love, you know it yourself right? You love me too right? Why don't you be a doll and stay by my side, no?"

The pale moonlight illuminated the fae's face, quite the ethereal scenery enough to make you dizzy. The sound of the gentle rain accompanied with lilia's lullaby was hypnotizing so to say. Yet the fleeting touches simply made you crave for more even if its poison.

It's quite ironic if you think about it. Lilia seemed to love the idea of you more than he loves you. Yet you simply can't help to keep holding onto the fantasy of him truly loving you. But alas, a rotten obsession won't lead to a beautiful ending, no?

'Just a little bit more' you thought.

"Let's make this easy and not make me hurt you along the process alright?"

As the cold wind blew, your consciousness slowly fades away as the dizzying warmth under the linen sheets and an embrace of a certain someone held you tight. If only you were to wake up to the old times when Lilia seemed like he truly loved you, yet all the sweet nothings are a mere dream and fantasy to mask his underlying obsession.

"I won't let you escape me, dear."

Note: no words... its like 8am I haven't slept yet sighhhhh. Oh yeah but im back? Time to re-learn writing sighhhh. OH BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS EVEN IF IT'S EW THO༎ຶ‿༎ຶ♡

[gayspock]

random ds9 thoughts like a month after i finished it

its funny who becomes my fave in retrospect and after i sit with it for some time btw. i came away from ds9, let it sit, bc now im like thinking. my god they did some really good groundwork with kira and she might have been one of my faves the more i think abt it but its like. isnt it all the more sad that, whilst she DID still get some really good episodes later on, exploring her and her situation, that they did sort of.. sighhhh it felt like her overall character arc sort of tapered a little like

her in the beginning. she really is an ex terrorist (by her own admission) whos won the war and now shes been forced into a bureaucratic position and there's exploration there on exactly what that means, how its what shes wanted and how she doesnt have to fight any more and she can help make progress, but also how sometimes thats at the cost of her own principles and directly against things she would have done before (like im thinking the episode progress in particular- i really liked that episode) as well as the delicate balance of her faith and keeping inline with that and doing whats good for bajor and for her people above else but also you know this newfound perspective ... its the way things become more complicated and the transition between fighting tooth and nail for something so singular with your life to the minutae of what it means to go forwards not just in the theory but in the practicality of what that actually means to do and its like. sighhhhhhhhhhh. i will forever be quite sad because whilst i obviously am so happy with all the plotlines the dominion brought in and how that opened the door its just such a shame that the more close, more "smallscale" (as if a planet could ever be such) politics of bajor really did get sort of . shifted off to the side and im not saying kira didnt develop and that those didnt change but i just wish theyd done better by it. like both bareil and shakaar didnt HAVE to be such shallow onscreen relationships and the thing is i dont minddd that i think ive said it before like. i dont mind if a character does just have a relationship thats kind of kept offscreen because whilst a very limited thing it can add something even if again limited BUT the thing is it jsut felt like. the fact they were both such important political presences and they just kinda got wasted? sighhhhhh sigh sigh bc in the end it jsut feels like. kira was floating around quite a lot which isnt bad and like i said she still gave some extremely good stories and was important in the show but it also felt she stagnated a little, like and i suppose you could argue well she did sort of find herself at peace by the end with her position between starfleet and bajor and it was more of a subtle growth from start to end and trueee but nonetheless babe like. potential was had here and its a shame and i think again it does also

like ok. odo/kira lets speak of itbc im weirdly like totally fuckin ambivalent to them at this point and i genuinely mean that like. so totally neutrally like ive said it before like: - started off hearing that it happened and i thought to ymself "thats insane and it doesnt work" - as a precursor to it happening, i did warm up to it a little in the sense of "i dont think they're right for each other but they do obviously care for and have been through stuff together and i think it makes sense if they end up in a relationship for misguided reasons as that would sort of align with them and how they may choose to interpet things before realising we're just besties" - to well i think you missed the opportunity to do that actually now its just been so long where youve had them in this awkward maybe zone and i feel like the aforementioned thing was only applicable to where they were as people at the time and now its les likely - to just: ehrm well i guess its happening? i guess? okay ehrm....

and its like the thing is NOWWW now now now im like. hm. i still just kinda feel neutral like "oh i guess theyre together?" and its like hey you know that can be fine frankly like. i dont think every relationship itself has to have intrigue necessarily - like i guess they CAN just be together, and it would only be annoying if they tried to like. used it and tried to make it more than it actually was which i dont think they did, at least not too much like. the show kind of just had it settled like yes theyre together. no we're not going to do some big tragic nightmare with them theyre just kind of vibing.

but that being said all that being said mannn i feel like... they should have done more with it. not in the sense of like them actually dating-dating like i dont careee abt that sort of thing if that makes sense like ehrm. what i mean is- and they did touch on it a bit - is that i sort of wish they'd use ti more to actually further them as characters if they were going to bother with it in the end like... odo technically being a cardassian collaborator. hi. they did do SOME stuff on that but also its jst like theres things like that where like... i DONT KNOW. and similarly its funny bc. i also kinda felt a little lukewarmish towards odo near the end in a very similar sense to kira bc i REALLY AM OBSESSED with him in the sense of , like- ok autistic king..... bc i did actually really come to love the parallels there and its like you know but i dont know . squints. it felt like he didnt get... the right sort of focus near the end- like he was doing stuff but i jsut wasnt that intrigued by the episodes and the stuff he was doing though granted. i think i need to rwatch some day in general bc i do get so fuzzy with stuff like that and i did get very loopy towards the end of ds9 so hrmm but

my point is idk man idk idk idk like. i jst feel like theres more they could have done and like i said im just not against their whole thing i guess if only... they could have done more with it bc i do think theres a balance to strike there yeah ? with both of them but honestly. anwyays