#but most days lately i feel like i am just getting through the day. there are things i enjoy and things i dont and whatever

[with-my-calamitous-love]

saved this for valentines day because i am so astronomically down bad for this man. anyway bodyguard! chuuya 🤍🫧❄️ gn! on the first section, nsfw f! below the divider 💌

bodyguard! chuuya, who born to do this job. who is a natural protector, who can be both rough and affectionate, fiercely loyal even to a fault, even if it seals his fate. but even statues crumble if they're made to break.

bodyguard! chuuya, who has lost everything that he's ever cared about. who is sure it's a curse- that whatever comes close to his heart is sent to fall into ruins, a product of gravity. he knows that he should have faith, but finds himself questioning the universe, if he's simply destined to be alone. who contemplates even getting close to you on this job, if he'll only end up more alone.

bodyguard! chuuya, who has the powers of a god that he didn't ask for. who sometimes wakes up in a cold sweat, dreary eyes picturing glowing red marks up and down his skin, weaving around his limbs, a monstrous form he's scared of bringing to late. who sometimes feels that his desire to be human are like the last drops of an ink pen- something that isn't going to work.

bodyguard! chuuya, who isn't sure if he should open up to you, who knows that the most singing pains of the heart come from stabs while vulnerable. who knows that by admitting his faults, he opens himself up to betrayal- the one thing he hates most in the world. who learns from you that to be hurt is to be human, and that his pain is a symbol of that humanity.

bodyguard! chuuya, who barely catches himself falling for you. who starts out his task as a simple mission- protect you, and nothing more. who fails to see you cracking the locks in his chest, crashing into you like a head on collision. who falls so hard and so fast, his feelings appear to him as a paradox. he's lost everyone, and the universe is giving him another chance to protect them.

bodyguard! chuuya, who you share a vow with, one that you'll both uphold. his is to protect you, to throw himself in front of flames and bullets to keep a smile on your face. where yours is to imagine things that haven't happened yet, keeping him grounded, teaching him that it's okay to love. that he may be dangerous, or deemed wicked, or a monster, but that you don't care. that you see him for him, and thats enough for you.

bodyguard! chuuya, who does so much more than protect you from physical threats. who holds your hand during panic attacks, stroking your hair and letting you breathe with him. who holds your hair back when you throw up, and carries you back to bed. who will kiss your hand and hug you when you need someone, when you need him. who sometimes struggles to keep his longings locked, knowing he needs to protect you, and wonders if that means protecting you from him- from the monster he knows he can be.

bodyguard! chuuya, who melts in your touch, never crossing the line, never wanting to make you uncomfortable or unsafe. who, even after learning you feel the same, hesitates. he isn't supposed to love, or care. everyone who has ever come close to him has ended up leaving. who learns that you have a funny way of surprising him, of assuring him that if this isn't forever, it'll be for as long as it lasts. a star that burns out is shines brighter than infinite darkness. given the choice between forever with someone or a night with chuuya? the choice is obvious.

✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.*

bodyguard! chuuya, who is a passionate lover. who indulges in messy kisses, setting your bedsheets ablaze with every touch. who will slowly undress you, pulling down the fabric, unlacing and undoing whatever he needs. who sees more and more skin as just more area he gets to lavish and love, gazing at every part of you- from the tip of your nose to the very depths of your soul- with nothing short of perfect adoration.

bodyguard! chuuya, who talks you through it. who asks if you like this position or if his fingers feel good. who looks up at you while he goes down on you, lips wrapped around your clit, fingers angled just right, and asks if you feel good- as if you haven't been bawling his name.

bodyguard! who does it slow and passionate. making sure his cock reaches in at your deepest parts, savoring how your pussy clamps down on him. who will take your wrists and pin them on either side of your head, forehead against yours, moaning in unison with you while he drags in and out so slow its agonizingly pleasurable. who draws out your orgasms for as long as possible, rubbing circles on your clit, kissing your tits, licking your body until you're on fire.

bodyguard! chuuya, who can just as easily be an asshole in bed. who flips you around and tosses you into positions until you find one you like. who is always open to experimentation- seeing what pet names you like, how long you can go, if you like getting worshipped or punished. who doesn't stop until your gushing, melting in pleasure or getting pounded into the sheets.

bodyguard! who grits his teeth in pleasure when he takes you from the back, feeling you wrapped around his cock like a warm, wet, vice. who lets you adjust for however long you need to, sensing your impatience and desperation to feel him deep. who holds your hands behind your back, leaning down, telling you how good you're doing before fucking you into oblivion.

bodyguard! chuuya, whose idea of a date is seeing how many times he can creampie you until you're thoroughly wrecked. who takes it like a challenge, pushing your thighs up to your chest, burying himself deep, finding the right angle before stuffing you full of his seed. who sees your teary eyes, mouth stuck in an O shape and hoarse throat, he knows he's doing something right. who, after about the 3rd or 4th time he's gotten you cumming (he's lost tracked) finally stops bullying orgasms out of you and lays you down on the bed.

bodyguard! chuuya, who has found something worth protecting, laying next to you, pulling your body close to his. whispers that he'll pick up where he left off in the morning, before kissing you goodnight. <3

[justleaveacommentfest]

Not an ask, but a story about leaving comments -- not long ago, I left a comment on a fic from almost 10 years ago where the author, in their end notes, discussed how proud they were to have finished this fic (it was an incredible fic that was over 100,000 words long because they're a god and I would also just be shaky in the knees if I accomplished something so long and profound); and they also talked in their author's note how strange it was to be the ages of 22-24 when they were writing this fic and how things weren't always easy, and that they hoped the future was bright for them.

I commented about my life, right now, how I came to find their fic a decade years later from when they finished (a little sheepishly, it feels weird to talk about yourself, but it felt important somehow) -- anyways, I also talked about how reading their author's note reminded me very much of how I felt right now, and how different the world is now from 2015, and how this fic made me feel all kinds of nostalgic and good and hopeful about growing older, and how my god they were this good at 22 and I hope they're still writing -- and even if not, I hope all these years later they really are in a better place.

They replied. They replied! I was so delighted! They are indeed in their thirties! and they are indeed still writing! Things haven't gone as expected, but they've got a healthier dose of perspective on life and how to cope with the hard times now. And it was just so heartwarming to hear and learn about them. And to know that they're still around!

Just seeing that, seeing these people who write about hard times nine years ago, and leaving a comment and getting a reply, it just brings so much hope. Because you never know! You never know if someone's still going to be here, and so when they are it's kind of a-- not a miracle, but it just feels like I'm suddenly so very aware of my existence in the world and theirs too and it just -- it MATTERS. And ao3 and fanfiction in general is so unique to most media where you stare at a television or read a book, you can engage with the creator of that thing you're reading RIGHT THEN AND THERE. And you may not get a reply, or you might get this touching response that lets you feel like you're less alone in the world. It's worth the chance, right? That's what building community and stuff is all about! You can make so many friends this way!

And even if they never reply, don't you want them to know how important their story was to you? And it doesn't matter if the story was finished a decade ago or just posted yesterday, there's still a person that's there that gets to see how their art made an impact on the world. I've made a couple of friends doing this -- and even if I'm not making a friend, I hope I make someone's day a little brighter. God knows I'm always delighted whenever someone comments on my fics.

I admit I'm not perfect -- I don't always comment on fics that I read. I'm trying to be better, I've got a list of fics that I definitely should have written a comment on that I've been going through and writing out how I feel about their writing because damn people are just so talented. This wasn't for just leave a comment fest, I admit, but I do love to see your blog and your drive because it is such an important thing for writers.

I didn't know you were doing a valentines day thing, but what a great idea! I wanted to share my experience, hopefully inspire some other people to go out and comment, and now I'm going to go check another fic off my list of ones that I'd like to comment on. Better late than never!

Have a great day! and Happy Valentine's Day Just Leave a Comment Mini Fest!

I AM HOOTING AND HOLLERING I AM PLAYING THE XYLOPHONE ON MY RIB CAGE WHAT A STORY!!!! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CONNECTION TO HAVE MADE THROUGH COMMENTS!!! WHAT A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL EXPERIENCE TO HAVE HAD!!

ANON THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS HAS MADE THIS SKELETON'S DAY

[mrsshabana]

♡ 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐃𝐚𝐲 ♡ 𝐄𝐦𝐨!𝐆𝐲𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ♡

꒦꒷‧₊ Content Emo!Gyutaro x female!reader, modern au, college au, fluff ꒦꒷‧₊ Note 1.5k words. Sorry I'm posting this so late, I had almost no time to write it so it's very rushed. But I wanted to give everyone something to read today even though it's short. Happy Valentine's Day!

God, did Gyutaro hate Valentine's Day.

Everything about it disgusted him. From the bright colors and sweet smells to the mushy feelings and love confessions. Thinking about the horrid day made him gag.

It didn't make sense to him. Half of these people who celebrate Valentine's Day together will be broken up before the year ends. So what's the point? Haven't they learned yet that love is a facade that only ends in a broken heart?

Maybe that's the emo in him speaking, but can you blame the boy for feeling that way?

His heart has never beat for another. To be honest, most people would be convinced that his heart doesn't beat at all. From his never-ending brooding attitude and his overtly emo attire.

Love isn't something he often thinks about. But deep down he does fantasize about having someone to love, especially around this time of year. That's why you'll rarely see him leave his dorm during February, except for attending mandatory classes of course.

Seeing all of these couples holding hands and being all lovey-dovey, a part of him yearns for it. Sure they are probably inevitably destined to end in heartbreak. But sometimes he wonders if experiencing love is worth the heartache. Maybe that's why people always come back each year to celebrate this dreaded holiday.

By now he's pretty convinced that love wasn't meant for him so he does whatever he can to drown everything out. Because there's no way in hell a girl would ever take interest in him, so it's better to just avoid them all.

When Valentine's Day finally comes Gyutaro begrudgingly leaves his dorm. But not before he puts on the heaviest, most anti-normal person emo garb that he has. Of course, he has his usual graphic tee, skinny jeans, and black jacket with the sleeves rolled up. But today he makes sure to put the black eyeliner on heavy and wear spiked bands around his wrists. The combat boots and metal chain on his hip top the look off.

He hopes this will be enough to deter anyone from speaking to him today. He only has two classes so as long as he can get through that then he'll be fine. Steering clear of any painfully romantic couples canoodling all throughout campus.

The day goes by longer than it should, but eventually, he gets through his classes.

Though he can't shake this heavy feeling inside of his chest. He tries to ignore it but as he saw more and more reminders of what today symbolizes the feeling only got stronger and stronger.

"Why am I feeling this way...?" he mumbles to himself as he clutches his chest. Inexplicably his eyes begin to water as the feeling worsens.

Panicked and annoyed, Gyutaro quickly leaves the building and walks towards one of his favorite spots near campus, a small secluded creek surrounded by tall trees that make him feel like he's in another world. He has to trudge through some shrubs to get there, but he always goes here when he wants to be alone.

Sitting down on a fallen log and lighting a cigarette, Gyutaro sighs.

He doesn't want to admit it, but he does feel incredibly lonely. Sometimes he internally curses everyone who has things that he doesn't, especially when it comes to having a loving relationship. He knows he isn't the easiest guy to get along with so the relationship would probably go south anyways. But that doesn't stop him from yearning for it. All he wants is to be loved. Is that really so much to ask?

He closes his eyes and takes a drag of his cigarette, trying to shift his thoughts to anything else.

But he's quickly snapped out of it when he hears a twig snap behind him.

"Shit," he mutters and puts out his cigarette. Did someone follow him? Maybe it's just an animal...

"Hello?" he shouts, hoping that it is indeed just an animal and not a couple that wanted to sneak away together.

"Erm... hi, um... sorry to bother you," you say with a shaky voice as you emerge from the trees.

"Y/N?" his eyes widen as he recognizes you as one of the girls in his art class. Honestly, he only remembered your name because he thought you were really cute. Not to mention sweet too. You haven't talked to him much, but the few times you did you were always abnormally kind to him. Something he wasn't used to from people.

"Yeah, sorry I um," you stutter not sure what to say as you realize how weird it would be to tell him that you followed him out here.

"What're you doin' here?" he raises a brow.

"I-I wanted to give you this!" you shout, your nerves getting the best of you as you force yourself to just spit it out already, "Happy Valentine's Day!" You swiftly hold out a velvet heart-shaped box.

"What..." he whispers in disbelief, "This for me?"

"Yes! I hope you like it," your entire face is red as you awkwardly hold the item, hoping he'll just take it already.

He narrows his eyes as if he doesn't believe you, but he takes the box anyway. Flipping it over, inspecting every detail, seeing his black painted nails shine as he moves his hand around the box. God do you love how he paints his nails.

"What is it?" he asks skeptically.

"It's a bomb," you respond.

His eyes widen as he stares back at you like you're a madwoman.

"Gyutaro, I'm joking!" you chuckle, lightening the mood, "Just open it already!"

He scoffs, holding back a laugh as he opens the velvet box. Inside are messily decorated chocolates in heart shapes.

"They taste better than they look, I promise..." you say sheepishly, hoping he won't hate them.

"Did you... actually make these?"

"Mm hm," you nod, "I tried to at least..."

He genuinely can't believe it. He doesn't even care that half of the chocolates look like turds, he's just touched that someone went out of their way to make something for them. Hell, he would have been happy if you just bought a box of chocolates from Walmart. But this? He never expected someone to do this for him.

"Are you trying to fuck with me?" he says in disbelief, his mind telling him that there's no way this isn't a joke or a cruel prank.

"W-Well um... maybe after a few dates..."

"... what?" his cheeks go red, "N-No! That wasn't what I meant- fuck um... never mind," he stutters, flustered by the thought that a pretty girl like you actually is considering having sex with him.

"Th-thank you," he spits out, "I love it." An awkward smile pulls on his lips, revealing his crooked teeth.

But it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

You've been crushing on him so hard ever since you met him this semester. He hasn't talked to you very much, but he doesn't seem unpleasant. Just quiet.

But when you happened to see him talking to his friends one day after class, you witnessed him smile for the very first time. And it was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. You wished that one day you could make the cute emo boy smile like that.

And you finally did. Even if he ends up rejecting you, you don't care. You made him smile and that was what you were really aiming for. A rare reaction you barely see cross his face.

But honestly, Gyutaro doesn't know how to react. He's awkward and shy and totally not used to interacting with people like this. Let alone cute girls.

In an attempt to show his desire to get closer to you, Gyutaro scoots over and pats the spot beside him, "Wanna join me?"

"S-Sure!" You say eagerly as you take a seat beside him.

Gyutaro leans back, staring up at the sky as he tries to process everything that's happening right now. But there's one question he can't get off his mind, "What made you wanna give this to me?"

"I think you're really cool..." you shyly admit as you fiddle with your fingers, not brave enough to look at him as you confess your feelings, "I like your style and I always wanted to get to know you better. But I never knew how."

He's internally kicking himself for making himself appear so unapproachable. Sure it kept the normies away like he wanted but it also kept cool people like you away that genuinely wanted to get to know him.

"Aw man... thanks. I think you're pretty cool too," he smiles, putting his hand on top of yours, "Maybe we can hang out sometime outside of class... I-If you want to."

"Of course! I'd love to," you beam excitedly, not only because he wants to hang out with you but also because he's touching you right now, "Y'know I um... I'm not doing anything tonight."

"Me neither," he blushes and turns to you, "Wanna come over? I have a sick record collection we could listen to."

"I'd love that, Gyutaro," you say, squeezing his hand. Just happy that you get to see the emo boy smile. But this won't be the last time, you'll be seeing that crooked smile of his a lot more after today.

[delilahsturniolo]

! ! barista!reader taking care of sweetheart!matt when he’s sick

୨୧ find more on this au here!

“mmm..” matt groaned groggily as his eyes slowly fluttered open. he grunted as he lazily turned over in bed, looking at the digital clock on the side table that slightly illuminated the dark room . It was 5 AM, and he felt like absolute shit, which was a complete understatement. as of right now, you were in the bathroom getting ready for work, while matt was pouting in bed.

“y/n…” matt called out weakly. when you didn’t respond, matt slowly got up out of bed, feeling as dizzy and lightheaded as ever. his throat was sore, his nose was stuffy, and his head was absolutely pounding.

matt lazily stumbled over to the bathroom door, opening it slowly. he saw you doing your makeup in the mirror, swiping mascara on your eyelashes with precision. you saw matt standing at the doorway of the bathroom through the mirror and furrowed your eyebrows, setting down the tube of mascara.

“matt? baby? why are you up so early?” you asked, concern and confusion laced in your voice as you turned around to face him. matt was known for waking up at 1 PM every day, so this was different, you were immediately able to tell something was wrong, he didn’t look good at all.

“i don’t feel good..” matt murmured, walking over and sitting on the closed toilet seat, burying his head in his hands. you felt horrible for him, all the happiness and positive spark in him was gone, and that didn’t sit right with you.

“what’s wrong hon?” you encouraged him gently, shoving your makeup aside on the counter and walking over to matt who sat hopelessly on the toilet seat. he groaned and looked up at you weakly. “my head and stomach hurts…i feel so nauseous and my throat hurts..” matt whined.

you frowned, delicately feeling matt’s forehead with the back of your hand. “matt, you’re burnin’ up.” you hummed. right now, matt was your top priority. you didn’t really care if you were gonna be late to work, maybe you shouldn’t even go. you didn’t have the heart to leave matt alone while he was sick and unable to do most things for himself. “i’m gonna take the day off today, i can’t leave you alone.” you decided, matt was completely taken aback, he knew how much your job meant to you, and he didn’t want to be a burden after all.

“what? no no, you don’t need to do that y/n. i’ll be okay.” matt turned your idea down, sniffling harshly. however, you only shook your head. “it’s okay, matt. it’s just one day.” you shrugged.

matt sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes. “okay..” he murmured, his voice as soft as ever. you hated when he got like this, it hurt your heart. matt’s excitement and burst of happiness and laughter was just all gone now, and transformed into a stupid sickness. you knew damn well he was gonna be clingy and whiny with you all day long.

“now c’mon, i’ll make you some tea and get you some medicine.” you helped matt up, he put an arm around you as you led him back to bed. as matt flopped lazily back into bed, you went into the kitchen to grab some stuff quickly.

medicine, water, crackers, a rag..

a few moments later, you returned with the stuff, and his cup of peppermint tea too. considering you were a barista, you knew every remedy, especially what drinks were good for what. you set everything down on the side table, turning the lamp on to cast a warm but dim light into the room. “baby? can you sit up f’me?” you gently tapped his cheek. matt grunted as he sat up, propping himself up on his elbows he looked into your eyes. god, he loved so fucking much. all he could think about was how lucky he was to have you.

“thank you love, really. this means a lot to me.” matt smiled at you, his blue eyes squinting slightly as he did so. you smiled back, seeing the slight spark in his eyes, even though they looked tired. “of course matt, i’ll always take care of you.” you replied, cupping his cheek, his stubble brushing against your fingers.

“if you get sick though, don’t blame me.” matt shrugged sarcastically. your laughter filled the room as you playfully smacked him. “you’re insane.”

© delilahsturniolo do not copy, re use, or modify any of my works.

taglist

[ki-kink]

Hi! I often read your great blog and adore your transformation stories. I am an ordinary guy of Slavic appearance, 26 years old. I try to keep myself in good shape. I am currently vacationing in Egypt and there are still 5 days of vacation ahead. Lying on the beach is boring. Maybe you can fill me with a local flavor?

Your alarm clock is ringing early today… Why did you actually set an alarm clock? And where are you here? Shit, you need to sort out your thoughts a bit… You're in Egypt. In your home country. Okay, actually your home was in Cairo. But now you're here in Soma Bay. Wait, wait, wait! Somehow that doesn't feel right… Shouldn't you actually be…? Shit, the second alarm goes off. You've got to get going!

The sun rises early over the turquoise waters of the Red Sea. Even before the hustle and bustle of the resort begins, life is stirring here in the staff dormitory. You start with a set of push-ups and sit-ups. Who knows who you'll bump into in the shower. It's never a bad idea to get your muscles in shape. A quick look in the mirror. Yes, you're hot. Your semi-rigid, circumcised cock confirms it. The day starts with a quick but intense shower in the shared bathroom of the dormitory - strictly separated by gender, of course. You are still alone. But you hear footsteps. Heavy footsteps. Your cock straightens in anticipation. You are not disappointed. Mamdouh comes around the corner with a grin. Today it's not just a lonely wank in the shower, today the day starts with a good honest fuck in the shower.

As you and Mamdouh leave the shower together, a few colleagues are already waiting outside the door, grinning. Most of them show that they have at least been eavesdropping. Some cocks are hard. But no time for a second round. Now it's even too late for breakfast. You throw on your immaculately fitting sportswear, smooth out your polo shirt and make your way to the resort. The first guests are already waiting for their first aqua gym session - with a view of the sea while a light breeze caresses the sand.

Your clients are wealthy, mostly Europeans, sometimes women, but mostly men - all with a penchant for luxury and “exotic” experiences. Mamdouh is more responsible for the ladies. He does this yoga and Pilates crap. You're more into Crossfit and bodybuilding. Your training is a mixture of rigor and charm, always looking to test your limits - physically and mentally. When you correct postures, your hands glide over sweaty backs, firm and firm. You can tell when a customer wants you to offer additional services. But you don't like doing that in a hotel. It's too dangerous. You then like to suggest an excursion… You prefer to take your customers to the bazaar - “to show them the real Egypt”. They are then wonderfully at your mercy. You are the strong local who skillfully guides your foreign friends through the winding alleyways, negotiates with the traders, helps them choose spices and silk scarves. The atmosphere is seductive - the scent of cardamom and jasmine, the soft murmur of the market people, the feeling of being in another world. Your customer pretends to want to buy a kaftan. As a present for his son. He would be about your size. Can you try it on? Sure, you say. And take off your T-shirt. The look on your customer's face says it all. He's ready for the highlight of the trip…

And the highlight is already waiting: a visit to his cousin's hammam. Here, in the subdued warmth, the two of you undress. You've already seen him naked during the massage at the spa. Good body, nice cock. Not circumcised, of course. But already hard. You put his loincloth on first and then put yours on. Yours is tailor-made. Just long enough so that you can see a hint of your glans even when flaccid. Your customer is so hard! You press your body against his and give him a deep French kiss. And then you lead him into the steam room. In the steam room, the boundaries between relaxation and desire become blurred. Your client is always in the exciting fear that you might be disturbed. But you know that the only one who will disturb you will be your cousin. And then your client will be pampered by two Egyptian stallions.

It's been a good day, you think as you count the euros and dollars you've received as tips today. And when your customers return to their luxurious suites, you lie in your bunk bed, wank a little more and look forward to next week. Then you'll have a vacation too. At last!

[sturniolohohoho]

Behind Closed Doors

sweet!matt x reader blurb??

summary: you get into a fight with matt about the fact that he's kept your relationship under wraps for a year

c/w: angst, fluff, cuddling, swearing, kissing, yelling and fighting

dividers by @anitalenia here

You stir a pot of pasta mindlessly in your kitchen, awaiting Matt’s return. Looking up at the oven clock, it reads 12:32 AM. He was late coming home. Again. Scrolling through instagram, you pause at a video captioned “Matt Sturniolo is my man 😍😍. new fanfic on tumblr!!!”  

You knew it was just some random fan, but every bone in your body wanted to comment. You wish you could tell the world that he was yours, and only yours. That he was the thing you most cherished and loved in your world. But you knew that it couldn’t happen. Despite the several long arguments you had with Matt, he didn’t want to make it public.

You sigh, shutting off your phone just as you hear the sound of keys at the door. The door cracks open and in walks Matt. You walk over to him, a big smile on your face, taking his jacket and bag away. He looks tired, but the hearty pasta and a kiss will probably rejuvenate him.

“Hey baby! I made pasta for you for dinner, come on, sit down.” He gives you a tight lipped smile, walks over to the kitchen table sitting down with a sigh. You eye him nervously as you set the plates.

“You good Matt? You came home pretty late…” His eyes snap up, immediately becoming defensive. “Relax okay? I was just out, it was a really long day today.” You’re taken a little aback by his reaction, but you ignore it, pushing the feeling down.

“Well good thing you’re home now,” you say, sitting down next to him to eat. He nods quietly. “I just saw the most ridiculous post on insta, someone promoting some fanfic of you. Sometimes I wish I could just comment “He’s mine!” y’know?”

“Well you can’t.” He replies sharply. “I don’t want to have this conversation again. I’m exhausted and my answer isn't going to change. We’re not dating publicly, you’re not filming content with us.” He gets up to leave, pasta only half done. “I’m going to sleep.” You listen to him walk away, his footsteps receding up the stairs. You feel tears pooling up in your eyes and dripping into your bowl, onto the pasta you made for him.

1 year. You had been together for exactly 1 year. Today was your anniversary, and he had forgotten about it. Like a rubber band, all your self control snapped, you stood up, taking both of your bowls and slamming them onto the kitchen counter. You nearly run up the stairs into Matt’s room swinging the door open. He’s in his bed, wide awake, scrolling on his phone. He looks up at you startled but mostly annoyed.

“Wha–” You interrupt him. “NO. NO, MATT. This is not okay. You can’t keep hiding me from the public, keeping me at home like I’m just your bitch that cooks and loves when you want me to.” He gets up, temper flaring.

“What the FUCK are you talking about? This isn’t about that. I’m not hiding you, I’m protecting you. I’m protecting us from the world.” 

“FUCK THAT, CHRIS. You haven’t taken me out in weeks out of fear of being recognized. You’ve been coming home late every night, taking me for fucking granted. You know today was our 1 year anniversary, right?” You see a glimmer of regret in his eyes. 

“One entire fucking year and you still don’t care about me enough to introduce me to your online life. Have you ever thought of MY YouTube career? My channel could be BLOWING UP if you even just let me show up in one of your videos, even just a TikTok. This isn’t about protecting “us”, you’re being selfish” Tears streamed down your face as you struggled to get the words out, each one heavier than the last. 

“I’ve been busting my ass for this. For us. And you’ve been too busy hiding me away, like I’m some dirty little secret. You know what? I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep sacrificing everything for a relationship that you aren’t even willing to put your full heart into. I deserve someone who sees me, who wants to share their life with me. If you can’t do that, then maybe it’s time I start thinking about me for once. Maybe it’s time I leave.”

He just sits there, frozen, eyes glazed over. You can’t tell at all what he’s thinking. You back out of his room, wiping the tears off your face. “Think about it, Matt,” you whisper, before you close the door and walk over to your room to collapse on the bed.

Hours pass by of you sleeping, waking up, crying, then going back to sleep. Your pillow is tear stained and your face is salty. Finally, you hear a knock on the door. 

“Can I come in?” You don’t respond just laying there motionless. Matt cracks the door open, walking into your room slowly, and closing the door behind him. He looks like he’s been crying too, eyes and cheeks red. He sits on the bed next to you, reaching his hand out to smooth your hair. He stays there for a couple minutes, just playing with your hair, biting the inside of his cheek.

“Baby, I thought about what you said,” he says in a quiet voice. You raise your eyes to meet him, a glimmer of hope in your eyes.

“You… you are the most important person in my life, sweetheart.” He pauses, taking a deep breath. “And I can’t believe I let my own selfishness about the complexity of dating publicly hurt us. I can’t lose you. I love you so much. I-” he chokes up. “–can’t lose you” Tears pool in your eyes as you lunge forwards to wrap your arms around Matt. “I’ll make the post tomorrow morning. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me, I’ll do anything. Please”

You bury your face against his chest, listening to his heart beating quickly. You let out a deep sigh, melting into his arms. “I forgive you, Matt. I just- I can’t live without you.”

He pulls you closer, his arms tight around you as if he's afraid to let go. His lips press softly into your hair, and you breathe in his scent, letting it calm your racing heart. “I love you more than you’ll ever know,” he whispers, his voice hoarse.

You pull back just enough to look him in the eyes, wiping away a few lingering tears. "I love you too," you reply, your voice barely above a whisper. The tension of the past few hours seems to melt away.

Matt smiles softly, brushing his thumb gently against your cheek. “How about we make the rest of this year the best one yet? I’ll be the guy who shows you off to the world. I’ll let you be a part of all of it—because you deserve that and more.”

Your heart swells, a mix of relief and joy flooding you. "Promise?"

“I promise," he says, his words sincere. “I’ve got you, always.”

a/n: all done!!! This is my first angst fic and I like it i thinkk. I probably wont make it a series and i dont have much to say so thanks for reading!

suggestions and criticism greatly appreciated, requests VERY OPEN <33 love youu

[atleastpleasetelephone]

Little Darling - a year later

A/N: Well I guess none of you were expecting more Little Darling - I certainly wasn't expecting to write any more! But here's a fluffy little bit for @fluffbruary - taking the prompt hands although I think that was for about 7 days ago!

Little Darling masterlist is here.

Pairing: Old Man!Elvis x OC - Tegan

Word count: 812

TWs: None! Pure fluff and a little kiss!

Tegan almost falls into Elvis’ arms at the end of the training session, she’s so tired. She usually tries to keep a sensible distance from teacher, so she doesn’t get accused of getting special treatment by her classmates, but today’s lesson has been punishing. Probably her own fault for having a few weeks off really, having too much fun celebrating her anniversary with Elvis, but it’s really taken it out of her. 

“Well done today, honey,” he coos at her as he leads her over to the bench at the side of the room. “Ya look beat.”

She groans, taking her belt off and looking about for her things. “Remind me to never take three weeks off in a row again.”

He chuckles. “My fault, Tegan bach. Takin’ ya away on fancy vacations.”

Pulling on her socks and shoes, she looks around as the hall slowly empties, students waving as they leave. Elvis waves back, dropping the odd comment about how well someone is doing, how their kicks are coming along nicely or that they’re really getting the hang of the kata they’ve been learning. Tegan smiles to herself. He always has a kind word for everyone, no matter how long they’ve been there or how terrible they still might be at karate. It’s one of the things she loves about him the most. 

She leans her head on his shoulder as the last person leaves. “Mmmm. Yeah it was a good holiday though. I’d like to be back in the Bahamas right now.”

Elvis turns a little to press a soft kiss to her forehead. “Me too.”

Tegan sighs softly and closes her eyes for a minute. Her muscles are aching already. 

Elvis looks down at her lovingly. He’s been thinking lately that maybe he should stop teaching entirely, leave the Karate schools to Lisa or someone who wants to manage them, and take Tegan away to live somewhere tropical and beachy permanently. He’s not getting any younger. The more he sits here, in rainy Memphis, the more appealing the idea becomes. His eyes drift down to her hands, both resting on one of his thighs, and he notices the cuts and bruises there. Scooping them up one at a time, he starts to press gentle kisses to her knuckles. Her eyes flutter open again. 

“Oh!” She exclaims, softly. Not even realising her hands were damaged, she suddenly feels  a little overwhelmed at his tenderness.

“Sore, baby?” He looks up at her with those beautiful blue eyes and she feels like she could melt right there on the spot. Idly wondering if she’ll ever get over how beautiful he is. 

“Little bit.”

He smiles against her skin. “Am I helping?”

“Always.”

Finishing his ministrations, he carefully replaces her hands and then cups her cheek gently, looking into her eyes with a seriousness that makes her stomach twist. 

“I know ya love ya job, an’ yer apartment,” he begins. “But uh… that vacation jus’ made me think… I'm gettin’ old, Tegan bach, an’ I don't wanna live out the rest a my days here,” he gestures around to the empty hall, “teachin’ like this. I uh… I wanna retire an’ take ya somewhere warm ta live. Nice beach somewhere.”

His eyes shift around nervously. He knows how much she likes her life now, and values her independence. But he's been thinking this way for a while now. The vacation had just solidified the decision. 

Tegan bites her lip. The vacation had made her reevaluate a few things too. Part of her had been scared that despite everything they’d been through they wouldn’t last a year, and when they did and their relationship seemed stronger than ever, she had started to wonder just how long Elvis could keep up the travel related to managing the business. And how much she wanted to be away from him, insisting on keeping her job in case things went wrong. 

“Yeah I do love both of those things,” she replies. His face falls a little so she continues quickly, “but I love you more, ‘raur. And if you want to retire and take me to live on a beach with you… I think I can probably manage.”

His lips curl into that cute lopsided grin and his hand slips to cradle the back of her head. “Are ya sure?”

“Am I sure I want to live on a beach with the love of my life? Yeah I'm sure.”

“Oh honey I love ya so much,” he mumbles, as he presses his lips against hers. 

“I love you too, cariad,” she replies, a little breathless from the passion of the kiss they’d just shared. “I don’t want to waste any more time apart. Let’s go home and figure out which Caribbean island we want to spend the rest of our days on.”

Elvis chuckles. “I can’t wait, baby.”

Taglist:

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed:

@arg-xoxo @from-memphis-with-love @msamarican @blursedblegh @returntopresley @eapep @everythingelvispresley @i-r-i-n-a-a @sissylittlefeather @arrolyn1114 @jhoneybees @polksaladava @lookingforrainbows @jkdaddy01 @epthedream69 @lustnhim @elvisslut @pomtherine @that-hotdog @ladelinee @angschrof @fairybloodsucker @deltafalax @makethemorning @elviswhore69 @ilovequeen978 @wildhorseinkansas @pocketfulofpresley @dkayfixates @iloveelvisss @kxnnxy @presleyhearted @lvrdollep @nebulamorada @iloveelvis2 @18lkpeters

[re-termination]

✿ From Myself, To You

Cosmo + Toon handler! Reader

Note: Valentine's day post that ended up being platonic cuz I suck at romance!!! If you don't like cheesecake you can imagine the dessert Cosmo makes as something else that you like!

Tags: platonic dynamics, Sam and Sprout banter

In the main lobby of gardenview, in the late hours of nighttime, a lone toon could be found sitting under the tree seemingly pondering about something.

With Valentine's day being tomorrow, Cosmo really wanted to show his appreciation to his favorite toon handler. You treated him with so much respect and were patient enough when he kept messing up in the kitchen so naturally he would hold you close and dear to his heart. You even held him when things got a bit too hectic for his liking.

As for what to do to show his appreciation? Hmm, maybe a cheesecake would be perfect for you! Cosmo was now determined at the thought of making you smile, so he immediately got up from his spot under the tree and dashed to the dining area.

Making his way to the dining area's kitchen, he was so caught up in his imagination that he didn't realize his best friend was calling out to him. “Cosmo! What are you up to at this time?” Coming to a screeching halt, Cosmo could only slowly turn his head at the voice of his friend.

“Ah- nothing nothing! Just making sure you turned off the oven yk? Ehehe…” The swiss roll could only feel his face growing hotter by the second. Why was he getting so worked up over getting caught baking a cheesecake for his favorite person?

“Cosmo, we haven't used the oven all day today.” Sprout could only scratch his head and chuckle, trying to figure out Cosmo's actual intentions for coming to the kitchen so late at night. Brimming with curiosity, Sprout decided to simply lean against the nearest wall waiting for Cosmo to pull himself together.

“Not leaving till you spill the beans bud” said the strawberry toon amusingly.

Patting his rose colored cheeks, Cosmo only sighed realizing there was no way around hiding anything from his best friend. It wasn't all that much of a secret, it's just Sprout for sure was going to tease him relentlessly for days to come now. With an exasperated sigh, Cosmo finally decided to face his friend properly.

“Wellll, yk how Valentine's day is tomorrow right? I was thinking of bake-”

“You were thinking of baking something for the toon handler that you always cling to, right? That makes sense. Kinda expected you would wanna bake something for them. You always have this certain look in your eyes when you're with them, after all.”

Cosmo's jaw dropped. His friend had him figured out and even pointed out his behavior regarding you. If the swiss rolls cheeks weren't red before, they most definitely were now. “You knew??? Why ask then!?”

Sprout could only try to hold his laughter, failing horribly, as Cosmo's face went through a multitude of emotions. Cosmo's reactions when teased never failed to make him laugh.

Finally calming down and deciding he teased his poor friend enough, Sprout started nudging Cosmo towards the kitchen area. “Well bud times ticking, let's get you started on baking!”

-

“Alright! Now that you have your apron on, what were you thinking of making them?”

“Wait, you're not going to help out, Sprout?”

“Nah, this is something special from you to them. No way am I getting in the way of that!” Sprout said matter of factly as he patted his friends head. “But, if you do need help, I'll be here as an extra set of hands.”

“Oh Ok! Anyway uhm, I was thinking of baking them a cheesecake…” Cosmo trailed off as he wondered if this was really what he should bake for you. Would you like it? Do you hate cheesecake? What if he fails and it doesn't taste good?

Sprout only deadpanned as he recognized that face on his friend. A face full of doubt. “Bud, I'm sure they'll love anything you make them. Stop overthinking it!”

Cosmo snapped out of his small stupor and chuckled in an apologetic way. “Ah you're right! You're right!” The swiss roll with newfound confidence, immediately went to gather the ingredients and utensils needed to get started baking, occasionally asking Sprout for help if he couldn't reach something that was way too high for him.

“Oh by the way! I think I'll use strawberries as decoration for the cheesecake so could you please go fetch those from the fridge?” Sprouts eye twitched as he heard Cosmo say that in a mischievous tone. Knowing he had no say over that decision he went to grab the strawberries… as well as grabbing raspberries in case his friend changed his mind!

-

With a yawn, you made your way to your post and got ready to round up your assigned toons to give them a run down on what the day would look like. Making your way to the lobby, you spotted Sam looking more irritated than usual. You decided to check up on your coworker and see if you could be of any help.

“Morning Sam! Something the matter? You're looking quite rough for this time of day.” While Sam wasn’t mean to coworkers, their resting face and sudden outbursts when Sprout stressed them out did unsettle you a bit.

Fortunately for you, Sam seemed to brighten up a bit at hearing your voice. “Ah hello there, didn’t notice you there. And yes, something is the matter. I couldn’t find Sprout in his room even though he’s SUPPOSED to stay there till I can escort him to where he needs to be.”

Anddd, just like that, Sam is back to looking irritated. It’s rather comical, really the dynamic between Sam and Sprout. You couldn’t help but giggle sometimes when you saw them bicker for the most childish things. Sprout was always dragging Cosmo into some sort of mischief in the kitchen, which only led to Sam getting stressed. You wouldn’t be surprised if Sam started growing grey hairs anytime sooner because of the toon's mischief.

“Well have you looked in the diner area yet? That seems like the most probable place Sprout could be if he isn’t in his room. I could come with you to search more if he’s not there.”

Sam’s eyes sparkled as they grabbed both of your hands. “Yes please! The more help, the better! When I get my hands on that strawberry, I swear I'll strangle him.”

“Ok maybe don't go that far!” You know Sam didn't mean it, but it's still funny to think of.

You and Sam started making your way to the dining area in hopes of finding Sprout, but you wondered where Cosmo could be. Cosmo was always up and early waiting on your arrival to gardenview, so it was surprising not to see him waiting. Quite the adorable toon and not to mention your favorite outta the whole bunch.

Sam seems to be thinking about Cosmos whereabouts too with how they call out to you. “By the way, it's odd that Cosmo isn't with you. Every time I see you, he's not that far behind, it seems. Wish Sprout was as still and quiet as Cosmo. Maybe then I wouldn't be as stressed hoping this place doesn't burn down from his antics.”

At that, you smiled. The dynamic between you and Cosmo was wayyy different than what Sam and Sprout have going on. While you and Cosmo could be napping somewhere peacefully, Sam could be trying to prevent Sprout from causing the building to go up in flames from an accidental baking failure.

Arriving at the dining area, it seemed pretty quiet, but you smelled something good in the air. Glancing at Sam, you two nodded and headed to the kitchen area. Lo and behold, the search for the strawberry toon was over, oh and Cosmo is with him! The two toons were sleeping soundly… with the kitchen being a mess.

“Sprout Seedly!”

“What!”

Oh boy, Sam decided yelling Sprouts full name to wake him up was a good idea. While those two started their daily banter, you spotted Cosmo slowly stirring awake and felt bad. The commotion obviously waking him up.

“Care to explain yourself, Seedly? What is the meaning of this mess!?” Sam demanded answers.

Cosmo, on the other hand, now on high alert realizing the situation, got up from his spot and ran to approach Sam.

“Sprout didn't do anything! It was my idea! I just wanted to bake a dessert for uhm- well- I'm sorry for the mess!!!”

The swiss roll wanted nothing more than to dig a hole and crawl into it. Well, at least he was able to clear his friend's name from any trouble, hopefully. What he didn't like was that you were here, in the kitchen. You weren't supposed to be here and see the mess. Better yet, you weren't supposed to know why there was even a mess in the first place. His plan was to wait for you at the lobby to surprise you with the cheesecake, but he overslept.

Stepping up from behind Cosmo, Sprout approached his handler with newfound vigor and a smug smile. “Cats out the bag. As you can see, dear handler of mine, I played no major role in this mess. Therefore, I think I deserve to be spared from being punished.” Sprout boasted proudly.

Sam's eyebrow twitched while you only stood there dumbfounded. Wasting no time, Sam glared at Sprout, and the strawberry knew that was his sign to walk out with them. Sprout held his hands up and flashed Cosmo a smile before following Sam out the kitchen, leaving you and the poor toon alone.

“Sooo wanna properly explain yourself? No pressure!” You didn't want to stress the toon out more than he already is, so you decided to take an easy approach. You also decided that crouching down to his level would probably be a good move, which proved to be right as Cosmo approached you slowly to hug you.

The toon clung onto you and buried his face into your chest for comfort. Out of habit, you started to pat his head so he could relax more.

“There there, I'm not mad about the mess- well, maybe Sam is, but I'm just curious! Promise!”

Face still buried against your chest, you could hardly make out what Cosmo was saying. “It's for you. I baked a cheesecake to surprise you today since it's Valentine's Day. I made it to show you my appreciation for you…”

This tugged at your heartstrings. Your favorite toon? Made you a cheesecake? For Valentine's day! How cute! With this, you squeezed Cosmo in a tight embrace.

The toon in question, now patting on your arms to let him go. As much as he loves the affection that he's receiving he can hardly breathe with how hard you're squeezing him.

“Aww aren't you just the sweetest! Y'know, if you wanted to ask me to be your valentine you could've asked earlier” You were semi-joking about the second part but the whole action was so sweet of him you just had to tease him. Cosmo, not aware you were joking, blushed intensely. You? His favorite toon handler? Be his valentine!? The thought has his mind spinning.

Getting up to observe the mess the kitchen was, you smiled. “Hey Cosmo, why don't we enjoy the cheesecake you made and clean later? I'd love to share what you made for me!”

Cosmo, now beaming with joy at the aspect of sharing a dessert with you, immediately agreed. He quickly ran to the fridge to grab the now ready to eat dessert and followed you to a table in the dining room. While he could always spend time with you any day he wanted, today was special. Any day with you was special but he felt like he got closer to you more than before just with this day.

---

“Get to cleaning Seedly, the job isn't going to get done itself y’know.”

“...I should get you fired.”

[lunasanguismusic]

Offering some safety tips in these atrocious times. Because fuck this shit!!!

For those who don't know me from my past, I am a survivor of an attempted murder/hate crime. I trusted the wrong person because he was my brother's friend. He was kind of weird, but I didn't think he was that much of a bigot until it was too late. I also assumed he wouldn't ever be dumb enough to do anything crazy at my job. Assumptions can get you killed.

The first time I turned my back on him he attacked and smashed my brains in pretty badly for quite some time, before strangling me near death. I had a gun in the office but it would not have saved me. In fact, if it was on me like it usually was, I feel he would have used it on me and I wouldn't be here today. Having my friend there did save me though. She scared him off right as I was about to die. Without her I would be dead.

While arming yourself is extremely important, please don't forget or take for granted the single most important safety tool a trans person has available. Don't go out alone if you're trans. Always have backup if you can. If you have no friends, find someone to be your backup as soon as possible. Two or more sets of eyes is so much better than one.

Never turn your back on a person you don't know exceptionally well either. Most people are loving, kind, caring souls, but trust me I've run into quite a few monsters who I didn't think were threats at first. Always be aware of your situation. Keep an eye on exit paths. Be prepared. Never go to a strangers house on a first date.

Arm yourself while you still can legally. Build a community. Join trans support groups. Take safety lessons. Triple down on vetting strangers and confirming they are a real person before meeting them. Talk to them for months if you need to. If they won't put up with your vetting, that is a red flag. Most people know or can at least understand the shit we are dealing with and will gladly make us feel safe. Pressure to meet quickly is a red flag.

I can't stress enough that most people, even conservatives are not usually bigots. Be nice to people and build strong ties. Most people just haven't met a trans person yet. The cops even, were the kindest most loving people and one stayed with me most of the night to make me feel safe that day. I don't know if he realizes how much of a difference that made in my life that day. Don't judge a book by it's cover.

Someone misgendering you repeatedly? Let it go. Give them a compliment to try and deescalate the situation. Doesn't matter how right you are, or how wrong they are. I've seen crowds turn on us. Just go home and enjoy your life. Tomorrow will be a better day.

Most trans people get murdered or harmed by someone they know. If you're in an abusive relationship, just please get out of it. Walk away. It's not worth it. Someone will love you unconditionally. You deserve better. Don't become a tragedy.

Lastly, if shit hits the fan, don't go down without a fight because you could end up tortured like our beautiful brother Sam here. They will probably add more charges later btw. That's typically how this works at this stage. Rip brother, you didn't deserve this. Hope everyone who did you wrong in life burns in hell. I'm so fucking angry you had to go through this.

Sam's go fund me. Please consider helping his family out.

A transgender man was held, tortured for MONTHS, assaulted, murdered and dumped in a field in the state of New York. The suspects are being held and charged with SECOND DEGREE MURDER (aka intentional but not premeditated.) As someone who lives in the North Eastern US I am disgusted by the depravity of this crime. The motive has not been identified and a hate crime has not been ruled out, but the justice system is historically not favorable of transgender individuals and it is possible that justice will not be served. Do what you can, tell someone about this case. Say his name: Sam Nordquist.

Transgender people: please stay safe, do what you need to do to be safe, carry weapons, be aware of your surroundings, and always tell someone where you are.

Horrible people are everywhere, the best we can do is be here and be heard.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

My ability to have like three different things I'm in the middle of drawing, still feel like I want something else to draw not work on any of them, only to get caught up staring at some fanart from an artist I like that made its way on my feed somehow and have the urge to open up my drawing app because I got busy ogling and fawning and need to get it out of my system.

[mayo-is-an-instrument]

I made a boo oc!! I'll make more drawings to use them for when I start making "serious" YouTube videos :3

[fingertipsmp3]

Next time I wake up in the middle of the night I’m actually not going back to sleep. Because why did those extra 2.5 hours I got contain the most bizarre storyline ever

[rosicheeks]

-

[tbpbsides]

i feel so fucking adriftttt man when does it end like seriously when