#batfamily stuff

[theredheaded-stuff]

Tim sleep deprived at Bruce's office door: *bangs two pots together* i got no sleep Because of ur shit, you will not get any sleep either.

Bruce : how this is my fault?

Dick tripping on the table : he was working on cases.

Bruce : and?

Jason entering by the window: Is yours city

Damian coming in the room with a cup and handing it to Tim : Well father, ur did put all the criminals in a place they keep escaping easily.

Bruce : okay you all have a point, but i-

Tim : *passed out in the ground*

Dick, Jason and Bruce : *Staring Damian*

Damian : Wat? Is passion fruit juice

[thebat-musicman]

9 year old Dick: If you’re a friendless loser and you know it, clap your hands!

Bruce:

Dick: Clap. Your. Hands.

Bruce: *clap clap*

———

12 year old Jason: HEY YOU!

Jason: HEEEEEY YOU!

Jason: HEY! YOU!

Bruce: It’s not polite to not call people by their names, Robin.

Jason: Nice try, Hey You. I know my mentor’s name.

———

13 year old Tim: You see this coffee, Bruce?

Bruce: Thank you for making this for m-

Tim: This is my coffee. You are having water. Only people who don’t break mugger’s fingers get coffee.

———

Clark: Batman, your Robins are so polite. They must have been a joy to raise.

Bruce, through clenched teeth: Such a joy.

[reineydraws]

jason is a grandpa's boy and u cant take this away from me!!! they cook together, they discuss literature together, and when jay comes back, they clean their guns together haha. ofc they celebrate their birthday together too! 😌

✨️🎂 hbd jay & alfie 🎂✨️

[delicatedarknight]

Tim: so why should we select you?

Guy A: I'm rich and handsome

Dick: Bruce is literally a billionaire. are you saying you are more rich than him?

Jason: and handsome? Don't make me laugh you look worse than our family dog.

Guy A: ex-xcuse me??

Damian: you are excused. Now get out

Tim: and what about you?

Guy b: I can protect him

Damian: protect?? dad??

Dick: [scoffs] It's like saying you can protect Batman.

Guy b: but he ain't Batman though

Jason: bitch he might be

Damian: where did you even find these people Tim?

Jason: seriously? imagine saying u can protect Batman

Dick: nah bruh imagine flexing money and looks on Bruce

Tim: ok guys this is the last candidate for the day

Tim: so what makes you special?

Clark: I can cook for him

Jason:[snorts] What if you can cook for him? How can it help our Bruce?

Clark: I'm sorry I'm not as rich as him but I can cook, clean, and care for him

Dick: have you brought anything to claim your statement.

Clark:[places the pie] I brought this Kansas special apple pie-

Damian:[already on his second slice] ae-ets gsoo ghuuud

Jason, Tim, and Dick fighting for the last piece

Clark: uh..soo

Damian:[clears his throat] You are selected.

Dick: Definitely

Jason: prepare your vows

Tim: btw who recommended you? Because you have a really ordinary background

Clark: oh it was Bruce

[collective HUH from batkids]

Clark: [snickering] It was to get approved by you guys

[collective even louder HA]

Clark: [laughing] That's because we are already dating

[collectively yelling WHAT]

Clark: [changing into Superman] hate to leave like this on our first meet but Metropolis needs me

[collective screaming]

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: Tell me something I don’t know.

Tim: Without mucus, your stomach would digest itself.

Jason: Tell me something else I don’t know. Something less... disturbing.

[allthegothihopgirls]

when the batboys get broken bones or other things that can't be fixed in the batcave, and have to go to an actual hospital, they make up the most outlandish sounding excuses for their injuries:

dick (with a broken leg): "well you see, i was actually trying to jump over a river on a pair of rollerskates"

jason (with broken ribs): "i was volunteering at the zoo... feeding the alligators. i fell backwards with the meat in my hands, and one pounced on me. funny how much damage they can do."

tim (with the worst concussion man has ever seen): "oh that? i was walking outside.. and my brothers were playing basketball on the top floor of the house, and one of them accidentally threw the ball out the window, and it landed on my head"

(bruce hears that one and has to reconsider whether or not the version of the story tim told him (getting hit by condiment king's mustard launcher) was the truth or not)

damian (with fingers twisted in every direction): "i play the piano... very violently"

[heylosers06]

Wing au!!!!

So Damian is a mix of both his heritages being a bat and a bird which causes trouble in his flying.

Jason would have had a powerful set of wings but unfortunately one was taken.

Dick has colorful wings a bit smaller but fast and agile, the colors help represent the flying Graysons.

Cass is as stated a Chinese paradise flycatcher a tiny but fast bird.

Duke is an angel kidding kidding but he has the biggest wings in the family, he has two big sets that glow because he’s a meta.

I’ll probably do more of the family in another post if this does well because drawing wings is a challenge for me 🥰

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Bruce: Where’s Jason?

Tim: Doing stuff.

Bruce: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Dick?

Tim: Trying to stop Jason from doing the stuff.

Bruce: And Damian?

Tim: Trying to stop Dick from stopping Jason from doing the stuff.

Bruce: I see. And what are you doing here, Tim?

Tim: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Damian from stopping Dick from stopping Jason from doing the stuff.

[starspilli]

now and then

very quick VERY rough very very very self indulgent doodles… i will accept no criticisms on this 🙏

[fruitfloats]

you know what? continuation of a previous post of mine

habits other robins got from Jason

Dick- the way he sorts his books, while he doesnt have many in his apartment, Jason sorted them when he came over when he was younger and Dick has always kept them like that.

Tim- he organizes his thoughts when he writes them down the same way Jason did in reports, he even writes some letters like Jason did.

Steph- continuously blows bubbles when chewing gum. She saw Jason doing it a couple times in an attempt to annoy someone around him and she thought it was a great idea.

Damian- sorts his food on his plate and eats it in the same order as Jason does, it just seemed easier that way.

[bubblegumbullshit]

If I was completely deranged and directing a Batman movie or TV show, I would cut together scenes of Jason Todd clawing free from his grave and Tim Drake swimming as a form of training and as Tim hits the finish line that's when Jason "breaks free". But that's just me. I would also do it over Dead in the Water by SPELLES.

I imagine swimming and clawing your way out of a grave are extremely similar movements, one is just vertical.

[frownyalfred]

RIP Martha Wayne. As a Jewish mother you would have loved having Clark as a son in law because he’s never more than two seconds away, is always willing to help out around the house, and has 0 excuses for not visiting.

[ryemiffie]

Okay but people who say Jason doesn't see Tim as his brother have clearly never had a sibling before.

Like bro, trying to kill your sibling cause you think they're getting more love from a parent is like sibling 101

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: I was spitting out formulas while you were still spitting up formula.

Clark: I was breastfed actually.

Bruce: Nice. Rub that in my orphan face, why don't you.

[the-b1ah]

Part 4 of You can’t bench me!

God I wish I could punch people instead of studying for exams. So close to the end yet so far ;-; . If you see spelling errors no you didn’t

Context:

Phantom has officially given up on his homework and joined the flock in fighting crime. How are you going to dad your way through this situation Red Hood? The rest of the batfamily is pulling out the popcorn for the inevitable meltdown and fight.

————————————————————

Red Robin: spinnn 🪩✨ ✨ bonk!!

Phantom: I have a gun and imma to make it everyone’s problem !!!!

————————————————————

Phantom: No. >:(

Red hood: …

RR&spoiler: OoOOOOooo someone’s in trouuuuubleeeeee!!!

Robin: what an idiot

————————————————————

Masterlist! | Origin | part 3 | part 5

[heylosers06]

DUKE‼️‼️

And cowboy Duke because I love it 🤭

(I did a pt.2 to for the cowboy Duke nation 😉)