#batfamily stuff

[leefail]

In my Arab region (I can't speak for the others, but I'm pretty sure they have similar things. Add your stuff if you do!) Coffee time is kind of sacred and is tightly regulated with heavy traditional rules. Especially so for the male populace.

Coffee makes the man! (Literally, I can't stress this enough)

Men and women alike are trained from a very young age on how to make and serve their coffee. A coffee with a good colour is a bright sign for your guests, and the way you serve is very telling of you.

Doors are ALWAYS open for guests, and HUGE halls are prepared to accommodate them (they can reach hundreds, depending on your dad's popularity). A household's head is a very blessed man when he has children/grandchildren because he can brag about them by showing their serving skills off. Those children will be scrutinised and judged according to their coffee serving manners. It's a very integral part of a charming character's traits for us. So, parents, especially fathers, are very strict about this.

Aside from guests, families have daily coffee time for themselves, too! It's very respectful to serve your mom and dad coffee. So it's expected from you.

Considering Ra's personality, serving him coffee as a grandson would be a nightmare.

Imagine Damian refilling the finjaan again and again in front of an elegantly sitting Ra's until he gets it right? Imagine him waiting (while standing, maybe for an hour or so) for Ra's to finish his finjaan so he can refill it again? Imagine how LIVID Ra's would be when Damian accidentally fills the finjaan to the top (a message that says, are you satisfied, yet? Get out! In my region) imagine Ra's asking Damian to serve coffee for his villain allies?!! Arabs and non?? And imagine people getting to know and hear about him from his coffee serving, like a good Arab son, before they know him from his sword?

Also, when he finally lives in the manor and sunset arrives and Batman is sitting by the batcomputer, deeply focused, and then is surprised by a finjaan presented to him because it's coffee time?

Damian would be very confident and proud of his coffee making and serving skills he would expect from Bruce nothing but sipping and asking for a refill, because his father should know his manners.

Bruce would know nothing about this but would, of course, sip (not drink! Drinking bad!!!) without question, and will continue to accept and sip every. Single. Day before patrol without knowing what is happening but going along with it because he's pretty sure this is Damian's way of bonding.

Which is not really true because Damian is only performing his duty as a son. He never really understood the core meaning behind this tradition because for a long time now, the art of Arabian Coffee was only a skill that was expected from him and a part of showing good grace. But as days pass and the number of people being served coffee increases and coffee time becomes a routine before each patrol for the whole family, when dates and snacks and small talk and occasional laughter join in, the very meaning behind this tradition clicks with him, and he serves it with a smile.

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

Duke spent all his childhood and most of his teenage years in a middle class family, so I like to think that he carried these habits into his rich life as well.

Example 1:

Duke: who the fuck is wasting our water? Do you know how expensive the bill will be next month?

Tim: Do you know that even if we had opened all the taps in the manor, Bruce would still have no problem paying for them for at least the next ninety years?

Duke, closing the faucet: yeah, what's your point?

Example 2:

Duke: It's literally a rip-off! Six dollars for a fucking yogourt?! Nah, let's go Cass, bet I can find an analog for three.

Cass, handing him the hundred dollar bill that Bruce gave them to buy two yogourts (he didn't know the price and just hoped that it was enough): ?

Duke, dragging her out of the store: It's a principle now, let's go.

Example 3:

Dick, accidentally dropping his phone: oopsie-

Duke, without thinking: of course, go on and break it. We are all billionaires here, aren't we?

Dick, pretty much confused: well, technically…

Duke: I see you, victim of capitalism.

He also constantly turns off the lights when someone leaves the room for more than 0,5 seconds, because it pisses him off.

[thebat-musicman]

9 year old Dick: If you’re a friendless loser and you know it, clap your hands!

Bruce:

Dick: Clap. Your. Hands.

Bruce: *clap clap*

———

12 year old Jason: HEY YOU!

Jason: HEEEEEY YOU!

Jason: HEY! YOU!

Bruce: It’s not polite to not call people by their names, Robin.

Jason: Nice try, Hey You. I know my mentor’s name.

———

13 year old Tim: You see this coffee, Bruce?

Bruce: Thank you for making this for m-

Tim: This is my coffee. You are having water. Only people who don’t break mugger’s fingers get coffee.

———

Clark: Batman, your Robins are so polite. They must have been a joy to raise.

Bruce, through clenched teeth: Such a joy.

[heylosers06]

Because I’m actually so stoked about the new Batman and Robin issue DR. WAYNE‼️‼️

I’m so happy about the possibility that Damian who comes from a place of violence and murder grows up to save people and not through violence as well but through medicine and empathy

[reineydraws]

jason is a grandpa's boy and u cant take this away from me!!! they cook together, they discuss literature together, and when jay comes back, they clean their guns together haha. ofc they celebrate their birthday together too! 😌

✨️🎂 hbd jay & alfie 🎂✨️

[delicatedarknight]

Tim: so why should we select you?

Guy A: I'm rich and handsome

Dick: Bruce is literally a billionaire. are you saying you are more rich than him?

Jason: and handsome? Don't make me laugh you look worse than our family dog.

Guy A: ex-xcuse me??

Damian: you are excused. Now get out

Tim: and what about you?

Guy b: I can protect him

Damian: protect?? dad??

Dick: [scoffs] It's like saying you can protect Batman.

Guy b: but he ain't Batman though

Jason: bitch he might be

Damian: where did you even find these people Tim?

Jason: seriously? imagine saying u can protect Batman

Dick: nah bruh imagine flexing money and looks on Bruce

Tim: ok guys this is the last candidate for the day

Tim: so what makes you special?

Clark: I can cook for him

Jason:[snorts] What if you can cook for him? How can it help our Bruce?

Clark: I'm sorry I'm not as rich as him but I can cook, clean, and care for him

Dick: have you brought anything to claim your statement.

Clark:[places the pie] I brought this Kansas special apple pie-

Damian:[already on his second slice] ae-ets gsoo ghuuud

Jason, Tim, and Dick fighting for the last piece

Clark: uh..soo

Damian:[clears his throat] You are selected.

Dick: Definitely

Jason: prepare your vows

Tim: btw who recommended you? Because you have a really ordinary background

Clark: oh it was Bruce

[collective HUH from batkids]

Clark: [snickering] It was to get approved by you guys

[collective even louder HA]

Clark: [laughing] That's because we are already dating

[collectively yelling WHAT]

Clark: [changing into Superman] hate to leave like this on our first meet but Metropolis needs me

[collective screaming]

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: Tell me something I don’t know.

Tim: Without mucus, your stomach would digest itself.

Jason: Tell me something else I don’t know. Something less... disturbing.

[allthegothihopgirls]

when the batboys get broken bones or other things that can't be fixed in the batcave, and have to go to an actual hospital, they make up the most outlandish sounding excuses for their injuries:

dick (with a broken leg): "well you see, i was actually trying to jump over a river on a pair of rollerskates"

jason (with broken ribs): "i was volunteering at the zoo... feeding the alligators. i fell backwards with the meat in my hands, and one pounced on me. funny how much damage they can do."

tim (with the worst concussion man has ever seen): "oh that? i was walking outside.. and my brothers were playing basketball on the top floor of the house, and one of them accidentally threw the ball out the window, and it landed on my head"

(bruce hears that one and has to reconsider whether or not the version of the story tim told him (getting hit by condiment king's mustard launcher) was the truth or not)

damian (with fingers twisted in every direction): "i play the piano... very violently"

[starspilli]

now and then

very quick VERY rough very very very self indulgent doodles… i will accept no criticisms on this 🙏

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Bruce: Where’s Jason?

Tim: Doing stuff.

Bruce: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Dick?

Tim: Trying to stop Jason from doing the stuff.

Bruce: And Damian?

Tim: Trying to stop Dick from stopping Jason from doing the stuff.

Bruce: I see. And what are you doing here, Tim?

Tim: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Damian from stopping Dick from stopping Jason from doing the stuff.

[theresstilltime]

robin !!!

[fruitfloats]

you know what? continuation of a previous post of mine

habits other robins got from Jason

Dick- the way he sorts his books, while he doesnt have many in his apartment, Jason sorted them when he came over when he was younger and Dick has always kept them like that.

Tim- he organizes his thoughts when he writes them down the same way Jason did in reports, he even writes some letters like Jason did.

Steph- continuously blows bubbles when chewing gum. She saw Jason doing it a couple times in an attempt to annoy someone around him and she thought it was a great idea.

Damian- sorts his food on his plate and eats it in the same order as Jason does, it just seemed easier that way.

[bubblegumbullshit]

If I was completely deranged and directing a Batman movie or TV show, I would cut together scenes of Jason Todd clawing free from his grave and Tim Drake swimming as a form of training and as Tim hits the finish line that's when Jason "breaks free". But that's just me. I would also do it over Dead in the Water by SPELLES.

I imagine swimming and clawing your way out of a grave are extremely similar movements, one is just vertical.

[frownyalfred]

RIP Martha Wayne. As a Jewish mother you would have loved having Clark as a son in law because he’s never more than two seconds away, is always willing to help out around the house, and has 0 excuses for not visiting.

[heylosers06]

Wing au!!!!

So Damian is a mix of both his heritages being a bat and a bird which causes trouble in his flying.

Jason would have had a powerful set of wings but unfortunately one was taken.

Dick has colorful wings a bit smaller but fast and agile, the colors help represent the flying Graysons.

Cass is as stated a Chinese paradise flycatcher a tiny but fast bird.

Duke is an angel kidding kidding but he has the biggest wings in the family, he has two big sets that glow because he’s a meta.

I’ll probably do more of the family in another post if this does well because drawing wings is a challenge for me 🥰

[ryemiffie]

Okay but people who say Jason doesn't see Tim as his brother have clearly never had a sibling before.

Like bro, trying to kill your sibling cause you think they're getting more love from a parent is like sibling 101