#bastard can talk

[bubbytheliverstealingskeleton]

Smallest of headcannons but I think Stan and Ford always stand beside eachother in a specific way, like Stan always stands with Ford to his right because he can hear better on that side, and Ford always stands with stan to his left because he’s nearly blind on his right.

They don’t realize the other is purposely standing like this until they ask each other sometime before they go out to sea, after that it’s sort of a small comfort thing for them to stand on their specific sides and be able to see/hear the other clearly

[royalarchivist]

Fit: Oh yeah, the great outdoors! All we need is a can of beans, and we'll have a good time.

Phil: There's two empty seats, I can't remember what– who they're for though. [Snorts then leans off-screen and laughs]

Fit: [Slowly realizes what Phil said] ...No. No. No. No! No! NO! WE ARE NOT DOING THIS RIGHT NOW! WE ARE NOT DOING THIS, PHIL. Ok? We are not doing this.

Sneeg: Do you wanna talk about it...?

Phil: [Continues laughing]

Fit: No man, this- this man thinks trauma is funny. He thinks trauma is funny– He thinks interpersonal emotional trauma is funny! Yeah, we're all laughing, Phil. We're all laughing. Yeah– [Monotone voice] "Hahaha! So funny." So funny. So funny.

Sneeg: Alright, bro. Why don't you go–

Fit: Gaslight girlboss, right? Yeah, that's what we do, that's what we do.

Phil: Oh my god– [Exhales and laughs] That tickled me, that was a good one. Uh, right–

[teaboot]

I’m sending this anonymously but this is NOT anon hate

You are such a good person, i think. Your latest post(as of 4:10pm Arizona, US time) spoke to me really hard. My father is a cop, in the united states, arizona, duh. And he used to be such a good person, he was a security guard and a damn good one too, and later in he became a prison guard because it paid better, and then he joined the police force.

I’d like to think that hes one of the good ones, and for the most part he is. A lot of my delinquent friends over the years who’ve had run-ins with him say that he gets them breaks, he takes care of them, hes a good cop. I’ve even seen body camera footage of him in the field and i’m proud to say that hes my dad. He calls out bad actors where he sees them, and he gets punished for it. He doesnt see the system or how his punishments are by design. And he continues turning in his cog, begrudgingly, and slightly out of time, but he thinks hes making a difference

Sorry for the ramble and essay, i just wanted to say that i really like your blog and i think you are a very nice human being. Thank you for sharing your perspective.

P.s. i’m totally basing an oc off of your outlook on security. You strike me as more of a superhero than a security guard.

-🦕 anon

Oh, that’s a super flattering take and a valuable perspective- so thank you! But I’m a gullible dumbass, and not even an incredibly smart or fit one- I just want people to be happy and safe. That’s all. And I don’t want to BE a cop, I’ve NEVER wanted to be a cop, but every time the request comes around I feel like I’m wearing down.

I keep wondering if I could help MORE in a position like that.

Probably like your dad did.

Here, people know they’re safe with me because I shut down the gunhappy jerks, but I don’t know how long it would take to truly make a difference in public security, or how many of my morals I’d have to compromise to get to that point

I feel objectively like a system so archaic and flawed can’t be changed from the inside, but another part of me says that you don’t need to change an entire system to make a difference where it counts

I believe that so many bad situations and life-changing moments can be diverted or changed by a single person in the right place at the right time- and I figure, if I trust myself to do the right thing and BE the right person, shouldn’t I do my best to put myself in those places?

But good intentions, roads to hell, you know? I don’t WANT to be a cop. But I want to be able to DO SOMETHING about the thinks I dislike seeing in conflicts. SOMEONE has to be willing to do that, right?

I’m not religious, you know? But the devil can be very convincing

[obibail]

"He said that's your style. Never quite lies, clever half-truths that let you convince yourself you're doing the right thing."

[essektheylyss]

here's the thing about Ludinus Da'leth: if I was bombarded by shitty holographic televangelists at random on a daily basis on my way to the fucking grocery store, no matter what they were trying to sell me, I'd start biting.

[salem-sapiens]

Some more Frollo stuff I did during chemistry lesson instead of paying attention.

I'm definitely failing this class ( •ᴗ•)

[treahollow]

Finally decided to make a bit of a ref sheet for the riptide goobers bc I keep changing their designs every time I draw them. These are for post ep 87 btw, designs for before then will come in the near future (maybe).

Back sketches and alternative versions of the designs under cut (contains spoilers up to ep 115)

I also give you badly drawn Pretzel

[shanklin]

Stanford never became friends with Fiddleford.

Instead he got himself a different small friend group who cares a lot about him. At least about the Ford he pretended to be in college.

A kind, soft spoken formerly bullied genius who researches very dull stuff in Oregon and definitely not anything weird. Their Ford would never break any rules or ignore safety measures [unlike that other student they heard about during their college years.]

And then Ford stops answering their calls and loses his grant. 

It’s time for an intervention and they start pestering Ford with letters and calls until he finally agrees to meet them at a science convention, but he’ll take his brother with him.

They’re relieved! Ford is with Shermie! They like Shermie! It's a good thing that Ford still has one brother who isn't a good for nothing selfish criminal who destroyed his entire future!

If they ever get their hands on Ford’s evil twin they’ll make sure he’ll regret ever messing with their friend. Ford is too nice for revenge. They aren’t.

Meanwhile at the not-yet Mystery Shack, the Stans freshly survived their own angsty canon divergent tale of two stans AU and locked Bill out of Ford's mind like a week ago.

Stan: I don’t know how long Ford will keep me around but this will be good for him. He needs some friends to take care of him after I inevitably get kicked out again!

Ford: I only agreed to this because Stan insisted and I still haven’t found a way to thank him and apologize. I hope all my “friends” die in a fire.

[thearcanecat]

I found the Bastard’s Box!

Inside

[bubbytheliverstealingskeleton]

Otherkin Ford otherkin Ford otherkin Ford otherkin Ford otherkin Ford Otherkin Ford otherkin Ford otherkin Ford otherkin Fo-

[heres-to-all-that-is-mine]

FINALLY. He has something beneath the shoulders 🎉

[tainebot01]

You know, the AAI2 fandom’s insistence on referring to the characters by their fan localized names we’ve had for like a decade instead of the ones we received this week is really funny. It almost reminds me of something…

God damn it.

[banditblvd]

I finished my current sketchbook last night and wanted to post some of my favorite doodles in there :-)

there's so so many more in there that I didn't take photos if so I'm probably gonna post a bunch in phases

so I guess sketchbook reveal 1/?

[forcedhesitation]

astarion origin playthrough worth it just for all the extra moments where he does the "sad wet cat" face

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

Darry 'Pack it in' Curtis n Dallas 'Tighten the fuck up' Winston are unstoppable 'getting Pony to wrap it up' duo

[podcast-hemocytoblast]

tma au where the apocalypse ritual doesn’t work because there’s one (1) typo in the statement document at the very end. Like Jon reads the whole ritual but it fails because the last line says “I opem the door” and so the door opems (not a real word in English) instead of opening and from then on any time Jonah Magnus shows “his” face (not actually his, because he is old and a face-stealing whore) in public everyone points and laughs at him for making a typo in the evil fear apocalypse ritual