#bastard can talk

[bubbytheliverstealingskeleton]

Both fiddauthor and fiddlestan are very yuri to me you guys need to understand this

[artkaninchenbau]

People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again

[royalarchivist]

Fit: Oh yeah, the great outdoors! All we need is a can of beans, and we'll have a good time.

Phil: There's two empty seats, I can't remember what– who they're for though. [Snorts then leans off-screen and laughs]

Fit: [Slowly realizes what Phil said] ...No. No. No. No! No! NO! WE ARE NOT DOING THIS RIGHT NOW! WE ARE NOT DOING THIS, PHIL. Ok? We are not doing this.

Sneeg: Do you wanna talk about it...?

Phil: [Continues laughing]

Fit: No man, this- this man thinks trauma is funny. He thinks trauma is funny– He thinks interpersonal emotional trauma is funny! Yeah, we're all laughing, Phil. We're all laughing. Yeah– [Monotone voice] "Hahaha! So funny." So funny. So funny.

Sneeg: Alright, bro. Why don't you go–

Fit: Gaslight girlboss, right? Yeah, that's what we do, that's what we do.

Phil: Oh my god– [Exhales and laughs] That tickled me, that was a good one. Uh, right–

[essektheylyss]

here's the thing about Ludinus Da'leth: if I was bombarded by shitty holographic televangelists at random on a daily basis on my way to the fucking grocery store, no matter what they were trying to sell me, I'd start biting.

[salem-sapiens]

Some more Frollo stuff I did during chemistry lesson instead of paying attention.

I'm definitely failing this class ( •ᴗ•)

[treahollow]

Finally decided to make a bit of a ref sheet for the riptide goobers bc I keep changing their designs every time I draw them. These are for post ep 87 btw, designs for before then will come in the near future (maybe).

Back sketches and alternative versions of the designs under cut (contains spoilers up to ep 115)

I also give you badly drawn Pretzel

[thearcanecat]

I found the Bastard’s Box!

Inside

[tainebot01]

You know, the AAI2 fandom’s insistence on referring to the characters by their fan localized names we’ve had for like a decade instead of the ones we received this week is really funny. It almost reminds me of something…

God damn it.

[forcedhesitation]

astarion origin playthrough worth it just for all the extra moments where he does the "sad wet cat" face

[podcast-hemocytoblast]

tma au where the apocalypse ritual doesn’t work because there’s one (1) typo in the statement document at the very end. Like Jon reads the whole ritual but it fails because the last line says “I opem the door” and so the door opems (not a real word in English) instead of opening and from then on any time Jonah Magnus shows “his” face (not actually his, because he is old and a face-stealing whore) in public everyone points and laughs at him for making a typo in the evil fear apocalypse ritual

[zsbrainrot]

Quiet Mornings ❤️💙

[bubbytheliverstealingskeleton]

Giving all of my personas varied silly little antennas

[threepandas]

Bad End: Stolen

I was furious.

Terrified. Completely enraged. Sick to my stomach. Overwhelmed and yet expected to function. To keep my shaking hands smooth and screaming thoughts orderly. All I wanted to do want scream. Cry. Destroy and destroy, weep and RAGE.

Then hide in a closet under blankets until the monsters went away.

But... but he wasn't going too, was he?

"Ah, my honored Sister, how good of you to join me." Greets the murderer before me, voice cool and smooth like the scales of a snake. There is a gleefully victorious lilt to that voice. A curling possessiveness to the title.

I am not his sister. We are not ever REMOTELY related. It is not even a matter of me disowning him for what he's down. It is simple truth. We are not, by blood, related. We were not RAISED together. Our relation? A farce. A legal machination by my... my Father, oh gods... No! Don't get swallowed by the memories! T-The blood. Focus!!

Fafnir is... WAS just one of many promising, talented, ambitious young men with no father's that DEFINITELY were my Father's bastard sons, no really. He most certainly wasn't COLLECTING meritorious youth into our house, under his name, and training them up with his wealth and influence. To bypass the bullshit class system and give them a chance at better lives!

Maybe suggest they pay it forward.

My father would never be so duplicitous. No, no, he was just a very lustful man... that no one ever saw going out to have sex. Who's wife had never been the least bit upset with him. And to whom he was fiercely loyal. Yes. Very, very lustful my father... w-was.

It was just while the family continued it's work on opening up opportunities for the lower classes. Jobs and better quality of life. Hospitals and schools. Fighting against those who benefited from nothing changing. It was slow. Like pulling teeth. The work of lifetimes, he'd said. I... I was expected to help continue it.

I'd been GLAD too. So utterly RELIEVED I was reborn into a house with some fucking sense of RESPONSIBILITY. Duty and honor and taking care of people! Building up social services! I had grand plans. Even after recognizing, a little alarmed, that I was on the fringe of a god damned OTOME game of all things.

One I barely remembered. Had played, loved most likely, as a preteen. A literal lifetime ago.

It didn't effect me, right? I wasn't here for boys or parties. Politics or fanciful dreams. Let someone else have their lace filled, flower coated, high drama adventures of love. I had late night paperwork and community research. Surprise to orphanages and hospitals to insure their was no corruption or mischief going on.

That one health clinic in Oakworth that took forever to get going.

Except...

Except??

Fafnir was a capture target! Which is why it took me forever to realize. As he had been so very small and filthy at first. Then merely small and in poor health. Short hair because his poor hair had been beyond saving. We passed by each other. Nodded, maybe exchanged pleasantries, but did not truely interact.

He lived in the dorms. I lived in the main house. He was basicly a student my father was paying to have taught, using our name. I was my father's actual daughter. We may have LEGALLY been related. LEGALLY brother and sister. But in actuality? We were no such thing.

Honestly, most of the "Sons"? Kept their original last names in day to day life.

Or at least... they did.

I.. I think I had shit taste, as a preteen. That or my luck has finally run out. Maybe it was my family's fortune, that finally could no longer best the odds. After all, there is always one. That ONE soul. Who sees something good and doesn't care about anything or anyone but themselves. Ruins things for everyone.

As long as they get their's, right?

A sea of motivated and ambitious young men. Trying to change their station in life. Have Better and MORE. Change the world around them. Leave their marks. Is... ha! Is it any wonder, in hindsight, that our luck eventually gave out? It was always going too. I guess Fafnir just wanted MORE.

He was supposed to go to the Royal Academy, fall in love. Compete against prince's and duke's, knights and heirs to merchant companies. All for the heart of the only daughter of a Ducal house, that had been (of course) raised by peasants. A carriage accident and presumed death cliché.

I honestly couldn't even remember his route. I might have read about it. But had never PLAYED it. He had had short hair, all but two had. So I played the foriegn prince route, even though he was kind of an ass. He was a handsome one at least. At least to me. It was just, I had never... still never...

I liked men with long hair.

Something which I had never told anyone.

Yet? As Fafnir grew? He did not transition into the character I remembered, like the others had. He grew his hair out. Became not only fiercely protective of it, but invested in higher quality products to care for it. Discovered my favorite perfume maker and commissioned a cologne for himself, that would mix well with the scent I always wore. Systematically tracked down each and everything I've ever liked, behind my back, to consume and memorize every facet of them.

I was blind to it.

My Father was not.

And... a-and... it cost him his life.

Father was not pleased with want he saw. But assumed it was a crush at first. We were young after all. Young people do weird, awkward, over the line things. Are learning about boundaries even as they grapple with sudden floods of hormonal shifts. A terrible time, really. It could be excused. As long as it didn't go TOO far. So long as someone sat Fafnir down for a talk.

They did.

He got more subtle.

A cycle developed. One my Father was not pleased to see. Fafnir would cross boundaries, be caught, get scolded, and contritely apologize... then get more subtle in his approach. Be more clever. As though all he had learned was "don't get caught". and "if you want to get, what you want to have, you need to have the skills to get passed us."

He grew concerned. Eventually, alarmed. I had thought nothing of it, back then, because "of COURSE he was supposed to go" to the Royal Academy? But... we honestly, really, Truely? HADN'T sent anyone there before. And there HAD been far more skilled boy then him. Prodigies.

But... my favorite ribbon necklace had gone missing.

From the room where I slept.

Overnight.

My Father took one look at Fafnir's pleased expression amongst the chaos and needed no further proof. He would not kick him out. Far too dangerous, he thought. But he WOULD send him away. Now?

Now I wish he'd risked it. Because... because everyone was dead. Struck down by the monster we let into our home. And by ancient law, which we both KNEW he was planning to exploit? This was a... a "family matter". Because, after all, we WERE legally family. Members of the same House.

"Such hesitation, Sister. You'd think I was a threat." He muses into his cup of tea, swirling it lightly. His eyes flit back to me, lips curling just slightly. "Don't worry, though. I understand completely. I would never hurt you."

But he would hurt others. He already has. Most of them didn't survive it. Ha ha... like a brutal yank on some unseen leash. I want to cry. Not sure if this is what shock feels like. But yes, thank you, for the lovely remind, Fafnir. That you have filled my home with bodies. The corpses of those I loved.

I use what little dignity I have left to walk forward and sit down.

Oh look, he has utterly ruined all my favorite things in one blow. There, my favorite tea. That, my favorite flower. Across the table my favorite snacks. Even a few favorite fruits. A dish or two. My favorite cup. And now? N..NOW? All I will every be able to associate with them is death. The stench of copper and the horror of this moment.

The joy of them is gone.

"See? Isn't that better? No more standing awkwardly to the side. Now we can sit, face to magnificent face. I've brought you a few things I know you'll enjoy. Isn't that nice? I've wanted to do this for the longest time." He sighs in contentment, as though this were no more then a matter of busy schedules and social anxiety. "And now? Now we are finally together. Siblings for now, but I am working to fix that. And if i can't, well..."

His smirk was a thing of nightmares.

"I'm head of the house now. You're finally Mine."

[justaz]

s1ep10 where everything is the same except theres a few other kids around merlin and the gangs age in ealdor and they have the most passive aggressive beef ever

merlin (explaining the tensions while covering his ass bc the villagers may not know about his magic but they know and he cant let arthur find out): and thats mary. she threw rocks at me when i was younger so i shoved a fistful of dirt in her mouth. i just didnt realize there was a worm in the dirt until she was spitting it all out and coughed up a worm. it had the effect of someone coughing up a frog. it fueled a bunch of rumors about me being a sorcerer

mary (after greeting the prince very respectfully): merlin. youre back. how lovely.

merlin, smiling: mary!! yes, of course i am. when i heard that ealdor was in danger i just had to come back and help. you know ive always had a knack for worming my way out of trouble so i thought if anyone can help, its me.

mary: how hopeful. i dont think ive ever seen you wield a sword. or any other weapon. you seem to keep to your…talents.

merlin: we never spent much time together so i cant fault you for not noticing my many other talents. contrary to what you think, i do like to get my hands dirty.

[itz-pandora]

There's only one person I truly hate with all my being

[lloydfrontera]

one of the funniest things bk moon ever did was make you believe lloyd was Gone™ by having javier be all wistful and yearning about his old master convincing you that this is an old heartbreak that never healed right and that he's still mourning him centuries later. only to then reveal that not only is lloyd alive and perfectly okay he's literally one phone call away. javier can literally just pick up the phone and have a direct line with him any time he wants. he's just being dramatic about not being at his side 24/7 like he used to. it's so fucking funny asjkhksfjs