#barret is the protagonist

[chronicas]

I feel like Cloud 🤝 Sammy

Science experiments I love to draw in cool dynamic poses.

[the-music-maniac]

This is a purely indulgent crack idea, but I think it would be very funny if there was this time travel fix-it for the events of FF7/Sephiroth's insanity, except instead of just one person getting sent back, almost everyone in Avalanche (Cloud, Vincent, Tifa, Barret, Yuffie, Nanaki, Cait Sith/Reeve, etc. ) gets sent back. And all of them think they're the only one that time travelled. So, you essentially have a bunch of people trying to pretend they don't know anything about the future and assuming no one else knows about the future, and being confused af 90% of the time because the others aren't reacting in a predictable way to what they know about the future.

How this happens could occur in one of two ways - everyone gets sent back at different time points, and so their initial efforts to kill Sephiroth before he becomes genocidal includes them one by one meeting Miniroth and going Oh No This Is A Child, and Sephiroth progressively getting more and more well adjusted by the time he meets the next time traveller because now he has a group of people hellbent on fighting Shinra and Hojo on his behalf with the dual reasons of you are not going to become another genocidal maniac under my watch, and Why Is The Child Fighting A War Who Authorized This. I think the order of time travel should happen with age (ex. Vincent arrives first, Cloud and Tifa and Nanaki arrive last, etc.).

Or they all show up at once when Sephiroth is an adult. All of them are covertly trying to assassinate him but failing bc they keep accidentally cancelling out each other's attempts.

I want a cartoonish level of obliviousness. Arguably Cloud, Reeve (or Cait Sith?????) and Cid, and potentially Nanaki, are the ONLY ones that really have the excuse to be in Shinra, so everyone is confused about why other people they know are suddenly There™ yet somehow not landing on the obvious answer of more than one time traveller. All of them bullshit just well enough to throw doubt bc they're all pretending they don't know anything about the future. Aerith has an inkling about what's going on bc the planet talks to her, but she's too entertained at the shenanigans to be much help. Zack has no idea what's going on, cause he's not a time traveller, or someone in kahoots with the planet. Shinra is in absolute chaos because of how much people are meddling. At the same time, everyone is simultaneously noticing that 1. Seph is surprisingly, a very normal (even kind?) guy. What gives. 2. Man was, on the contrary to popular belief, not walking around with delusions of grandeur or cackling evilly in the months before his sanity went kaput and is in fact, malnourished, overworked and depressed, 3. Hojo and Shinra were even bigger bastards than expected.

Meanwhile Sephiroth is there like: man, people sure are up in my business a lot lately. He's thinking this as he stares dead eyed out the window, with his tenth cup of coffee in hand and a sheath of thick paperwork tucked under his arm. Behind him is Barret hiding (badly) in a fake plant.

I dunno how but this results in every one of our beloved protagonists (and Sephiroth) surviving, no one going insane, and Hojo dying an awful death. And then the gradual dismantling of Shinra, hurray.

[gch1995]

Yeah, I just turned 28 last mont Quinn was always the best of the girls on Zoey 101. She had the best character arc, and the most personality. Though he was annoying at first, I definitely do think that Logan was the best of the guys. Sure, he had his flaws, and he could be a jerk. However, as the show went on, he had sweeter moments, too, and by the end of the series, it seems like he had grown up the most. He also was surprisingly cute with Quinn as a boyfriend towards the end.

Chase had his funny moments, but I think he could have been better if he had had more of a character outside of just his crush on Zoey. Zoey only ever seemed to want Chase as a boyfriend when he was hard to get. Coincidentally, she only seemed to want Chase romantically when she was putting him in a position to chase her (lol). As soon as she thought she was leaving PCA, she wanted to talk to Chase about it first so he would try to chase her and catch her before she ran. As soon as the truth finally came out that Chase loved Zoey, they started dating via Zoom and FaceTime after he had transferred, and Zoey quickly got frustrated and bored, so she ended things with him. As soon as high school ended, she decided to leave him to go her own way in the world after graduation when she got that job offer, and 14 years after their breakup when she has the opportunity to see him again, she’s posing with a fake boyfriend to try to push Chase to chase after her again.

Michael was definitely the guy who needed the most character development. Yeah, he had girlfriends, and no one was ever mean to him. It’s just he felt very much like the token black friend because we learned so little about him.

Yeah, I agree with you about why Zoey became such an unlikable character after season one. Even back then, she kind of was treading into Mary Sue territory, but at least she wasn’t a completely self-righteous and obnoxious hypocrite, who constantly got treated as special. Like, we saw her make the backpacks, and the key necklace. She wasn’t amazingly creative and talented, but we saw that she could be resourceful. That translated into her being a a hypocritical and manipulative bitch later on, but in the first season, it was a genuinely innocent and sweet side of her personality. She got annoyed with Logan for being a sexist jerk sometimes, but she was never cruel in her schemes for revenge either. She just rolled her eyes at him, and called him a jerk.

Do you think Logan likes Zoey in the new movie bc I get the feeling he doesn’t and if so he’s so real for that

I really don't think he does, despite whatever the movie will try to make us believe.

Logan loves Quinn more than anything, he seems devoted to her and would only want to make her happy. No boyfriend that love his girl so much would like a girl who is a terrible friend to her. There's no way Logan keeps liking her after all she is going to put Quinn through on the wedding. And yes, he would be so real for that bc Zoey fucking sucks, man and it's about time someone on that group realizes it.

Plus, Logan has all the reasons to dislike Zoey, she was way out of line with him a lot of times during the show. Obviously the narration would never put her as the antagonist and he always ended up forgiving her, or forgetting about it, or people would be on her side so he would just drop it. But I like to believe in the last 15 years he just has had enough and just pretended to like her for Quinn's sake.

I would love if the think that makes him go off is Zoey upsetting Quinn. Like, look at his face:

my man is done, bet he didn't even want her on the wedding but put up with it for Quinn.

I don't think there's a scene on the trailer where he looks happy to see Zoey, now that I think of it.

TL;DR: No man who loves his girl as much as Logan loves Quinn would like a friend like Zoey, no matter what the movie would have you believe.

[infizero-draws]

SMASH THE INTERESTS TOGETHER 💥💥💥

my reasoning for the roles if ur interested:

susie as barret: tank, Big, both are objectively the best character of their game reagrdless of who ur actual fav is (also i think susie would think the gun arm is sick)

kris as cloud: protagonist, has weird identity shit going on, also just general Mental Illness, forced to hurt their friends against their will at some points

noelle as tifa: childhood friend of protag, can tell weird shit is going on w said friend but doesnt rlly know how to help

ralsei as aerith: magical healer, knows shit they shouldnt, association with yellow flowers, long dress/robe thing

[tossawary]

At the beginning of "FF7 Remake", Barret asks how old Cloud is and Cloud can't(?) answer (he answers with his presumed SOLDIER rank at first), so Barret cracks a joke about how for all he knows, a SOLDIER's rank could be the same as their age. Presumably this is a reference to the company's known mad science practices / child soldiers. Barret compares Cloud to a toddler as more joking / needling.

And, you know, that seems well within the bounds of FF7. You could do an AU where protagonist Cloud is a Superboy-style OG!Cloud-Zack clone. Transferring / implanting memories seems like something that this world / company might have a materia for, with side effects that Cloud is obviously suffering (the flashbacks).

I don't know what the plot / larger point of this AU would be, but it would fun purely for the "Oh Goddess, fuck, we actually took a one-year-old on our 'eco-terrorism' mission" AVALANCHE reactions.

EDIT: I would also probably keep both OG!Cloud and Zack alive in this AU. They're hiding somewhere out in the countryside or something after successfully escaping Hojo's labs, but they lost the Buster sword at some point or it was shipped back to Midgar very early on as "proof" of Zack's death in Nibelheim. Clone!Cloud has it for some reason or another.

So, as the story continues, there are an increasing number of clues that the protagonist Cloud maybe isn't the same Cloud. Tifa: "Your face looks different as an adult. Guess you grew up, huh?" (It's the Zack influence in Clone!Cloud.) And there also seems to be a second party of mysterious heroes / rebels somewhere out there in the world also working against SHINRA. Clone!Cloud gets partially recognized by a few people for things he definitely didn't do.

And then the Clone!Cloud and Tifa party runs into the OG!Cloud and Zack party, and both parties go, "Oh... shit..."

[rocketbirdie]

TUMBLR USER ROCKETBIRDIE REBLOGGED MY POST IT IS A DAY OF JOY AND CELEBRATION jndbhjmnh thank you so SO much it really means a lot to me to have such a talented artist appreciate my work! out of curiosity can i ask your opinions about every ff7 party member? i'm always curious to know the fandom's opinion about them :)

OOOUUUAAAAAAA UR SO SWEET!!!!!!! <333 OK here goes nothin!!

CLOUD STRIFE: Most uncomfortably relatable protagonist of all time. Impressively apocalyptic autism. I need him crushed into a fine powder and baked into a disney princess themed birthday cake.

BARRET WALLACE: He deserves so much better. Just, in general. Why did they do that to his character in Advent Children (rhetorical question; we all know the answer.). Actually I think we should just get rid of all of SE's intellectual properties and just have Only Barret.

TIFA LOCKHART: Oh my god. If I had known about Tifa Lockhart as a highly impressionable 5 year old, I would have grown up to be cisgender. I'm gonna leave that one up to interpretation.

AERITH GAINSBOROUGH: Weird girl. Incomprehensible girl. Unnerving girl. Girl who makes you want to become a girl. Girl who I love dearly forever. Aerith is love, Aerith is life.

RED XIII: Lowkey the saddest character in the game. He's just a lonely child, he's already had everything taken from him, he's trying so hard to hold it together. Hang in there Nanaki :(

YUFFIE KISARAGI: I like how they handled her in FF7R, bridging the gap between two very different audience's impressions of her. Boy is she disruptive in some of Rebirth's scenes though. Super curious how part 3 and the Wutai war thing will go down.

CAIT SITH: Middle aged businessman's gambling-addicted fursona by proxy is hands down the funniest concept for a JRPG party member. I want to love him so bad, but I can't take him seriously for the life of me because every scene he shows up in suffers from severe mood whiplash.

VINCENT VALENTINE: I see the appeal. I'm admittedly less invested in the vampiric sexy snatched-waist, and more in the technologically-hamfisted out-of-touch grandpa aspect of his character.

CID HIGHWIND: This man is NOT 32 years old. His asshole-ishness and cartoonishly vulgar dialogue is very important to me and I hope they don't water him down too severely in part 3. ESRB please, please let him say Fuck just once. please

[chaifootsteps]

I’m kinda devastated by the “cockblocktavia” thing, she’s the only female character who really feels like a lead, the closest to a real girl, even if her only waking thought is her dad just like Loonas is boys in general and Millie’s is her husband. Octavia just felt, different, more real.

I’m also a huge fan of Barret Wilbert Weed so I was so excited for her to have more focus and sing with that incredible voice of hers. I thought lots of people would see Via shine and be on her side, creating an actual dilemma in the show that’s been well foreshadowed. But now it’s like Brandon completely overshadowed it, and sabotaged the emotional impact of her story arc and performance for the sake of his character and his musical debut (which is going to sound bad, I’m sorry, but it is) What a selfish prick. What the fuck is Via even getting “in the way” of?? Stolas actually loves her, not obsesses. They have an actual bond. What irritates me too is “stolitz” is nothing but a marketing tool. Only garbage shows have to rely on a dramatic gay ship for views and money, and even this show is better than that.

Also how pathetic is it that the so called protagonist only has a musical debut now in season 2, and even then he has to share it with another character who has sang three times to date. That is the craziest case of creators pet I’ve ever seen. Why isn’t Blitzøs daughter having a big emotional moment? Why can’t we see his family breakdown in real time? Everything is about stolas’ shitty family while Blitzøs is the one that’s actually interesting. And sad. Tight-knit families formed under harsh environments have strong touching bonds, nobles don’t give a rats ass about each other, but Viv hates the poor, so she would never understand that.

Agreed, agreed completely.

I hate that I actually had some hope that maybe, this show wasn't actually going in the direction the Octavia leaks made it seem, that they weren't actually going to villainize this sad, troubled girl in favor of her dad. But it looks like that's exactly what we're getting, and it's surreal and disgusting.

[demialwrites]

FF7 HCs: Cooking Skills

Reno: mostly seen making toast (or an entire sandwich if he's feeling fancy)

Rude: can cook most things given a recipe and even then, he can figure it out given enough time

Barret: can put the straw in a juicebox for Marlene but don't ask for anything else

Tseng: can make a great coffee but has no patience for actual cooking. Has to buy meals

Rufus: he's fine if the vending machine only requires pushing a single button

Tifa: only Rude can outdo her but only because she'll always make better drinks than him

Cid: lives off cowboy coffee. It's suspected that he can roast things on a spit

Vincent: doesn't need to or cannot eat/ Unknown/Refuses to answer

Cloud: cooks decently because Protagonist™. If he was a Sim, his main dish would be spaghetti

Elena: has a few childhood favourites she has mastered but can't make much else

Sephiroth: cannot cook. Hojo never let him. Once tried to roast something with fire materia. Ended badly

Zack: he should be able to cook but it never stuck when his parents tried to teach him. He was the one who encouraged Sephiroth to use the fire materia

[altocat]

There's one thing that bothers me about the First SOLDIER storyline in Ever Crisis. Why do not like Glenn, Matt, and Lucia? Is it because longtime veteran FF7 fans see them as unnecessary filler characters who were "shoehorned" into an OG FF7 character's backstory? I've seen furious FF7 fans hate them just because they had more Banners than Barret and Red XIII. I've also seen the trio criticized for their morally questionable actions too even though our main party in the OG literally starts out blowing up a reactor, causing the deaths of numerous innocent people. Cait Sith rightfully calls Barret out on his hypocrisy when the former worries about Marlene but dismisses the deaths of a lot of people as just "a few casualties." And then there is Zack, who was one of the SOLDIERs taking part in the Wutai War. He had no malicious intentions toward the Wutaians, but it still didn't change the fact he killed the people who were just defending their country. Morally gray characters are the bread and butter of FF7, so I don't understand what's wrong with having more morally gray characters.

The P0 trio has some clumsy aspects to them that take away points--they're only really remorseful AFTER they kill all the Rhadorans. Sephiroth is arguably more sympathetic in that he's still a child and also never enlisted with Shinra, not to mention he's been bred and conditioned into killing since he was born. But the P0 trio more or less goes along with it, reluctance or otherwise. So it makes them feel a bit more hypocritical afterwards. Matt and Lucia also regretfully don't have much to them as characters beyond a few little quirks. They both feel kind of useless in retrospect.

With ALL this said, I still do like the P0 trio. They added a lot to Sephiroth as a character and I've grown to genuinely like Glenn for what he is, even if the writing on him is a little messy. I think maaaaaybe they should have approached the issue with the Rhadorans slightly differently. Or at least made it look less one sided so that our protagonists don't come off as actual murderers. There are blurred lines in war sometimes, or at least there are malleable aspects to "kill or be killed" on the battlefield that allow for some level of sympathy or moral grayness. I don't think the story dwelled on it enough. They did with Sephiroth, but less so with the trio. I'd chalk that up to limitations with chapters more than anything else.

But like I said, I do like the trio and I'd be down for seeing more of them. I can see why people might not like them, whether that's for legit reasons or petty ones. Glenn at the very least is NOT a "filler" character since he's shown to have made a serious impact on Sephiroth's personality as an adult. And that counts for something.

As for veteran fans...well they're just going to complain either way lmao it's already a lost cause in that regard. The larger fanbase is known for doing that.

[salternateunreality2]

After a particularly nasty day at the labs, Sephiroth wakes up with fox ears and tail

How does it go?

Hehehehehe ❤️❤️❤️

Possessed by a fox spirit, he has sudden and uncontrollable urges to (a) eat udon, (b) share with chocobos, (c) be transformed by the power of friendship with plucky anime protagonists from a terrifying war machine to a cute and helpful hero a la Naruto, and (d) dig.

Cloud meets his hero because Sephiroth finds him, choco-naps him, and feeds him udon in a hole he digs out in the desert. Cloud just rolls with it, he's a hungry, growing boy.

Hojo steps in one of the smaller holes and breaks his leg. The bone completely snaps and he bleeds out because he insisted on retrieving Sephiroth alone, and Sephiroth is pointing his fuzzy ears only at Cloud to make sure he eats, and his tail is wagging so hard it starts up a dust storm that drowns out Hojo's screams.

AGZ and Lazard find them in the desert. They find Hojo's corpse first and Genesis "is surprised" and "accidentally firaga's it" 5 times. Angeal and Lazard are also surprised and may have stabbed and shot the corpse as well. Zack runs ahead, looking for his friends.

Lazard finds the three of them eating noodles happily, and the news that Hojo is dead snaps Sephiroth back to reality just enough to abandon the obsession with noodles (for the moment) and digging, but not enough to jolt him from becoming a hero with the power of friendship.

Noodles are shared by all (except Hojo) and eventually one special noodle digs its way into one special hole when SephZard finally get together later.

By that, of course I mean they both have spaghetti in their mouths and it goes like this:

Zack is Naruto, he has the shiniest moral compass after getting a stern talking to from Barret.

[greatwyrmgold]

Do as I say, not as I do, and don't get into arguments in a YouTube comment section. Even if the community is normally pretty chill.

So, a YouTuber I watch has been playing Final Fantasy 7, and just got to the point where Aerith gets Sephiroth'd. Someone in the comments argued that that scene might be done differently in the remake, since Aerith doesn't do anything in the plot. If you found some other way to introduce the White Materia, you could remove her.

I of course jumped in, pointing out that:

Aerith influences other characters in important ways (particularly Cloud and Tifa, the protagonist and arguable deuteragonist)

Arguing that a character is useless to the plot because you can remove them from the plot if you replace them with something that does the same thing is very silly.

After exchanging a few comments, I realized two things. First, the other guy does not seem to understand the second point. Second, said guy genuinely does not seem to think that any action Aerith takes that doesn't directly contribute to defeating the bad guy with a sword can matter.

To him, Aerith matters because she owns the White Materia and helps use Holy to stop Meteor from destroying the Planet. Nothing else matters.

Not her conversations with Cloud and the others. Not her refusal to put up with Cloud's tough loner persona. Not that time she convinced Cloud to wear a dress. Not her getting captured by Shinra, inspiring the rest of the party to rescue her (and the other experimental subject they found). Not her getting Marlene to safety, and making sure she'll be safe while Barret is out of Midgar. Not the lore about the Cetra she knows, or the discoveries made while following her, or even what she learns from talking with the Ancients or the Planet or whatever.

Apparently, Aerith matters because she owns a rock, and that's it.

What a #$%^ boring game Final Fantasy 7 would be if that were true.

[final-fantasy-as-literature]

I haven't had energy for a longer post lately, but I feel like Stamp in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth and Remake is pretty easily a symbol for what Cloud himself symbolizes while taking a Bloomian reading to them with Wu Cheng’en's Xiyouji as precursor. This post will not be diving into the six revisionary ratios because it is off-hand, and even Bloom gave those up over time.

Minor spoilers for Final Fantasy VII Remake below the split.

The first and easiest draw is that the name given to the Monkey by Patriarch Subodhi is Sun Wukong (孫悟空). The Sun (孫) itself comes from husun (猢猻), a word for a kind of monkey whose name comes from a noun for a foreign group. If you remove the animal radical, or dog radical, from 'sun' (猻), the monkey, you get 'Sun' (孫), the Monkey's surname. In this reading, the dog simply acts as a reference to one of the Monkey's names that wasn't drawn upon to give meaning in the 1997 release. The literal monkey is gone, but the dog has returned with all the meaning it gives. The Monkey has historically been used as both a symbol representative of the state's interests and a countercultural symbol of rebellion against that state in much of East Asia, and has even represented the interests of states in opposition.

Evidence towards this would be other occasions in which Cloud is now referred to with names, teases, and insults that call upon the Monkey's names and their meanings. Foremost that comes to mind would be Barret asking about Cloud's age and joking about Cloud being a one year old. Patriarch Subodhi gives Monkey the name "Sun" on page 115 of Volume 1 of Anthony C Yu's Revised Edition of Journey to the West, explaining,

If I drop the animal radical from this word, what we have left is the compound of zi and xi. Zi means a boy and xi means a baby, and that name exactly accords with the fundamental Doctrine of the Baby Boy. So your surname will be 'Sun.'

Hongmei Sun points out the importance of the "Doctrine of the Baby Boy" to Monkey's "multivalent" and "ambivalent" identity when she explains a reading of one of Monkey's most common self-referential titles on page 20 of her Transforming Monkey: Adaptation and Representation of a Chinese Epic:

The translation “Old Monkey” is a choice made based on the sacrifice of the other meanings of both sun and lao, and understandably so, owing to the lack of corresponding expressions in English. But without the meaning of “venerable” and “baby,” the nature of the oxymoron in the name is lost. “Old Monkey” can also mean “Old Baby” or “Venerable Monkey,” which reveal more of the ambivalent nature of the Monkey King.

Tying these readings together in Final Fantasy VII Remake and Rebirth is as simple as noting that Cloud is referred to and compared to in-text with "Stamp." "Stamp" is actually the fourth observational title given to Cloud by the members of Avalanche, with the first being "merc," the second being "real joy to look at," and the third being "true believer." This is excluding both his name, Cloud, and his status in SOLDIER, as those are a "true" name and status rather than merely observational. Barret directly addresses Cloud as Stamp when he asks Cloud, "Stamp scared to bite the hand that fed him? Or is he a loyal little doggy?"

Something I believe many readings of Final Fantasy VII Remake miss is this exact moment, forgetting that this isn't a coincidence - the text itself was created, not a coincidence being observed. Barret isn't just making a metaphor within the text that can be understood by its characters, but a metaphor that can be understood by the readers of the text. That this metaphor of a dog as the ambivalent symbol of both a bureaucracy and its people is addressed to a blonde protagonist bound by piercing headaches and undergoing an arc of rebellion against a corrupt bureaucracy ought to be compared to the context of precursors in East Asia. Within this context, it isn't hard to find a precursor-text that offers easy comparison and enhanced meaning: Wu Cheng’en's Xiyouji, the story of Sun Wukong, the rebellious and loyal monkey, the reluctantly true believer, pressed and willing bodyguard, and handsome and horrific figure.

Cloud shares the multivalence of Monkey in a way that defies singular interpretation, which is why I believe the best isolated interpretation is to "reduce" the text to a precursor poem. This opens the door to more focused interpretation through lenses that already exist, such as the "multivalence" of Monkey and Cloud. This, even more, demystifies elements of the text for which little progress has been made in accepted fan-interpretation, such as in the "parallel worlds" (as some fans have called them) easily being expression of common folk beliefs within Buddhism. This also allows the reader to bring mechanical elements into cohesion with their reading, such as with the materia being akin to sarira as displayed in the text.

[fearowkenya]

fine!!! I guess I'll do all the work around here myself and write the Chadley skywheel date we were robbed of!!! fine!!!!!!!! i guess you can see my preliminary notes about it!!!!!!!!!!!!

disclaimer & tip: no im not actually mad, no i dont actually think we were robbed, yes im aware that im maybe 1 of perhaps 18 people who even wanted this (and that at least 1 of those people are a stack of raccoons in a trench coat), no i cant tell you if/when an actual published version of this would be posted, I'm 15k into a fic about yuffie being concussed that was supposed to be a quick joke oneshot, the posting timeline of this idea is between my adhd and god; i have absolutely no say in it

why do you want this

1) i love chadley

2) i just am hyperbolically miserable that he is present at gold saucer both times you're there and hes ALONE!!!!!!!

3) if you go talk to him as cloud during Costa del amor he is SAD that he didnt participate

ok so we are off to a rough start because there are (at least!!) two directions I could take a Chadley skywheel date that i think would be fun and interesting.

the first one is Chadley & cloud - this is fun to me because Chadley clearly holds a ton of admiration for cloud that while genuine is really only surface-level, and I think thats fun to explore. also chadleys stupidly obvious crush is adorable even though it has no chance of being reciprocated. idk it would jsut be cute and sweet and I cant stop thinking about it

the second one is the one I'm actually more likely to write because I think theres a lot more untapped potential there. i like to call it Cool Teen Squad and it's skywheel date but what if it was Chadley & yuffie & nanaki running around an amusement park unsupervised

hey what are you gonna do about loveless?

what a good question. I'm not sure because cloud&chadley loveless would be different from teen squad loveless , but theres 1 thing that would be the same for both of them and that is Chadley as rosa. this is non-negotiable. if rebirth is not going to overtly connect the dots between That Line Chadley Says In Response To Seeing Cloud At Wall Market During Remake and Why MAI Looks The Way She Does, then hand me a god damned pencil im doing it myself!!!!!! Chadley is going to be so pretty and have a wonderful time!!!

anyway cloud & chadley loveless is pretty easy , everything stays the same with Chadley as rosa and cloud is going to be nice about it. everyone is going to be nice about it.

Cool Teen Squad loveless has me a little torn because theres two fun avenues that i think are worth exploring

1) yuffie as alphreid, chadley as rosa, with nanaki as an extra protagonist idk id have to think about how to justify an entire extra role. that's a problem for future me, I'm too busy thinking about how much fun yuffie would have in big dramatic knight role with a big stupid sword. also she would look so cool

since Nanaki isn't there to be garm or whatever I'm volunteering Vincent instead. not galian beast, just Vincent as himself. barret stays as-is, I think him and Vincent vs the Teens is really cute and funny 

2) yuffie and Nanaki (admittedly mostly yuffie) get to be so annoying about (gently!!!!) teasing chadley about his crush on cloud and it is compounded by loveless , where cloud stays alphreid, chadley is rosa , nanaki stays garm, but yuffie replaces barret as varvados . you cant tell me she wouldnt have SO MUCH FUN being the villain

other ideas for Chadley skywheel date

Chadley & cloud:

- chadley explaining the mechanics of the skywheel in excruciating detail with cloud listening intently

- mai being annoying directly in chadleys ear but cloud cannot hear her

- 2v2 queens blood with cloud and Chadley working together. this would give opportunity to pull in some of the other characters to cameo since they'd need ppl to play against. (how would 2v2 co-op queens blood even work?? who cares , it would be fun) (except now I'm trying to figure out how it would work mechanically. hmm. an idea for me to chew on later)

cool teen squad:

- yuffie badgering Chadley into hacking the gold saucer games for maximum gp, (idk if Nanaki would condone this or not , might be funny if he did?) and then being chased around by the exhausted underpaid arcade employee.

- a friend and I talked about what Chadley would look like in combat and it might be fun to play around with those ideas via Cool Teen Squad goes to the battle square. I dont have any concrete ideas at this time but it would let me think about synergy attacks with Chadley and i think that could be super fun

- the three of them complaining about annoying shit adults say to them , Chadley laughing and having a nice time in the skywheel car with yuffie and Nanaki while they do bad impressions of idk, cloud being a stick in the mud??

much to think about as you can see!!! and much more I've probably not even considered !!! ideas & other ppls thoughts welcome, there's really so many possibilities and i invite others in joining me in not being normal about any of them <3

[wits-writing]

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (Quick Review)

Director: Adam Wingard, Screenplay: Terry Rossio, Simon Barret, and Jeremy Slater

Resurrecting this inactive blog and copy pasting this from over on my Letterboxd because I need to spread the word about this movie as much as possible!

No Spoilers, fwiw:

Well...

This fucking owns!

Easily the best stuff from Godzilla vs Kong was Kong journey to discover more about himself and his connections to the Monsterverse's delightfully bonkers lore around The Hollow Earth. Positioning him as a member of an honorable line of warriors.

The New Empire effectively triples down on that by making Kong this movie's actual protagonist over any of the human characters (who are pretty fun to watch and play their support roles in this plot damn well.) The giant ape's story playing out as a quest for purpose within his new home in the Hollow Earth. One he discovers once he comes across other apes like him living under the tyrannical fist of the Skar King. Kong's challenge becomes figuring out how to get his rival Titan, Godzilla, on his side for the inevitable showdown with this new threat.

It's a highly fantastical tale, made better by the fact that this movie trusts the audience to follow along with it as plays out wordlessly. Only having the human characters directly commentate on it after the important actions have played out.

And all of this would be enough to leave me satisfied, but this movie actually has a fair amount of surprises up its sleeve that none of the marketing gave away.

So I'll just say, if you've been enjoying the Monsterverse up to this point, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is more than worth your time!

[chronicas]

Anyways I know none of you care about Game Awards. Here’s the real runner up.

Kellington’s Games Played 2024

So unfortunately this year I didn’t play at least 10 video games I’d never played this year. Yes throw tomatoes at me. I was too busy playing some of the most exciting ones. Regardless, I still look forward to this every year SO!!!

#8 Kingdom Hearts 3: I want to say I had fun with this one but honestly I really didn’t :/… It does NOT live up to KH2, while a lot of the gameplay was pretty good, it mostly felt just super repetitive in a bad way. There’s a lot of cute moments though. The Monsters Inc level was definitely the most fun and most creative imo. I always love seeing Sora, Donald, and Goofy though. My sillies :). Still had some fun, just wasn’t it for me. 5/10..

#7 Baldur’s Gate 3: Ugh I spent almost 300hrs on this game. It has so many glaring issues, but I wouldn’t have played it so much if I wasn’t having fun. I’ve been playing 5e since I was a teen, it’s far from my favorite TTRPG, but still holds a place in my heart. There was a lot of fondness at getting to see all my favorite monsters in such a large scale game. However, this game sucks in so many ways. Sooo many glitches, such a weak story, and god so much more that’s so much worse. However I still came out the other end with some love for it. Wyll’s by far my favorite character in this game, he’s funny and witty and I just liked going through his story and being his bestie. The main appeal of this game for me was definitely using D&D combat in a few new and interesting ways. Also multiclassing has never been more fun. I can’t confidently recommend this game, it’s got some really REALLY big issues, most that other people have discussed much better than I have. Do not put this game on a pedestal, it doesn’t deserve it. 5/10.

#6 Kingdom Hearts 2: SAURRRR fun! Definitely my favorite KH game! This one really really endeared me to KH as a franchise and especially Sora as a protagonist! Also Cloud and Yuffie are there. Still no Barret so I have to dock points off. As fun as this game is, I can’t speak toooo highly of the story because Christ is this franchise confusing. I AM playing all the games btw.. or well.. watching some of the less fun ones :P. So I’m not missing anything, this series is still just over complicated as hell. Nonetheless I love visiting silly Disney worlds with Sora, Donald, and Goofy. These games are sillyyyyyy and that makes it all worth it :) 7/10

#5 Sonic x Shadow Generations: RAHHHHHGGGGGGHHGGHH SHADOWWWWW! Well firstly let me say I’d never played Generations before now, it’s such a good one, I love love love the levels, really good. But we already know Sonic Gens is good. SHADOW GENS FUCKING KILLS!!! God can Ian Flynn ever miss? Shadow’s story has always been deeply important to me, y’all KNOW how much I love Maria. This game was full of lots of wonderful moments with Team Dark and Shadow’s family, adore adore adore!!! And of course I’m over the moon to see Black Doom again. The real only reason this isn’t a #4 is because it was short but sweet. I would’ve loved to have seen this game closer to the actual size and scope of Sonic Gens. But it’s just got a couple less levels. Also no Westopolis so points off for that. However all the levels we DID get were WONDERFUL!!! Overall this game was LOVELY!! I highly recommend it if you haven’t played it yet!!! 8/10

#4 Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth: Debated a lot how high up this game would go. Story kinda pissed me off, but it was so fucking fun, so insanely beautiful, that I just can’t help but putting it any lower on this list. The team attacks are what sold me on this one, they’re so fucking cute and insanely fun, they did a lot to put a new spin on a classic gameplay wise. UNFORTUNATELY.. Story kinda sucked ass. Get Zack outta here. However, POINTS BACK FOR FUN AND SILLY BARRET AND YUFFIE MOMENTS AND AERTI MOMENTS!!! Also the dates were super cute and fun, Barret date my beloved. And most importantly… BUGENHAGEN!! WE GOT MY FUCKING SILLY OLD GUY!!!! ALL IS WELL AND RIGHT WITH THE WORLD WE GOD BUGENHAGEN WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Anyways. Overall, can never live up to the classic.. but still a 8/10.

#3 Hi-Fi Rush: RAHHHHH THIS GAME OWNS!! God the characters are so fucking fun, the music fucks insanely hard, and the level design is SO FUCKING FUN!! Not to mention I’m a sucker for fully 2D animated cutscenes, that shit fucking owns. Chai is such a fun protagonist, love this silly guy. Peppermint and Korsica are some of the characters of all time. And I LOVE this game’s exploration of disabled characters and corruption in the medical industry. All with music and levels that completely kick ass. So glad this game got on PlayStation finallyyy. 10/10 Kellington would recommend!!!

#2 Hades 2 [Early Access]: FUCK HOLY SHIT THIS GAME IS SO FUCKING FUN RAHHHHH!!! If TFS hadn’t come out this year this would’ve been an EASY GotY. I fucking adore the leveling system, character design, combat, and level progression. Points off for Arachne not looking like a spider though. Insanely badass to have a really cool lesbian protag so points back for that. Leaving my thoughts on Hades 2 at a 10/10!!!

#1 Destiny 2: The Final Shape: Well well well, look what ongoing video game won “Cloud’s GotY” once again, surprise surprise. Anyways JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Talk about knocking the ball out of the fucking park. THIS WAS SO GOOD!! It’s definitely the best of D2 if not the best of the entire franchise. Insanely beautiful level design, invoking storytelling, and FUCK YES PRISMATIC SO FUCKING FUN. To wield Light and Dark abilities at the same time just fucking owns. I haven’t stopped using Prismatic even once since it came out (RIP Chaos Reach). A beautiful beautiful ending to my favorite game of all time. Perfect, I only wish Lance had been here for it. 100/10

[dasboligrafo]

7 Takes on The Double Life of Veronique

You know the thing where you like the same thing as a terrible person?

I guess even Lear-esque cringey edgelords like great movies and Keith McNally is not wrong about Sexy Beast and definitely definitely not wrong about the Double Life of Veronique, a movie I've now seen 3x, 2 of which ended in helpless tears (the only way I know if something is art).

This movie was a selection by McNally at a Roxy Cinema mini-festival in October 2023. As I told the crew who I invited (tricked?) to see the movie: now it's your turn to think about it for 15 years!

I love the moment after the movie when people are asking helplessly -- but what does the movie mean?!? And I really, really love the moment when people get angry at the end of the movie. These are real emotions! What's the last time a movie made you think anything other than "god, that was 45 minutes too long?" (The Double Life of Veronique is under 100 minutes! yessss)

[I didn't hear it cause I was, like, weeping, but my friend said at the end a guy behind us was angrily griping that the movie was too slow? Huh? Stuff is literally happening every moment of the movie? There is not a single wasted scene, line or frame? What even are these senses whose proofs we can so liberally ignore?]

Since it might be another 15 years until I see it again and I don't have the benefit of just having written a college thesis that was mostly about Lacan via Zizek, I thought I would type out a few thought exercises/interpretative frameworks that I think apply to this movie:

The contingent nature of the universe/the senselessness of existense -- probably the easiest to justify, especially in the context of Kieslowski's complete ouevre, in consideration of his personal history, based on the interviews he's given, etc...

What to do about emotional apocrypha — what do you do with and about feelings that seem to come from nowhere? Feelings are "real" and we know now (i.e. the science is now there to tell us, eg Lisa Feldman Barrets's fascinating work) they're not in any way subservient in value or usefulness to "reason"; like if anything the opposite, emotions are the "why" and reason is the very patched together and incomplete "how" behind what we are and what we do. Worth thinking about why it is Kieslowski's most compelling films have female protagonists given the historical association to the binary genders for emotion vs reason.

The duality and dichotomy of post-war East/West Europe -- I think this one is sorta obvious but not less resonant? There's a good article out there about how the film predicted a lot of the consequences of the EU. Elsewhere I've read that Polish critics pilloried Kieslowski for a traitor to his kind over this theme, which reminded me of the story about how Bach's works were sometimes not well received by the church patrons who got to hear a lot of it first because they thought it was too dour -- imagine you have the greatest musician who will ever live as your church musician and your biggest peeve is his music isn't fun enough for Sunday. In any event this is a major theme in Three Colors, and I'm sure there's no accident that this movie and the Trilogy are connected by the same fake composer (key work = "Song for the Unification of Europe"...)

Return to theory in film (Zizek) -- he wrote a whole book about it. I'm not sure I agree Kieslowski's films make the case for the return to Theory (ie I think you can interpret his movies without it.) But the fact that you can so unbelievably seamlessly integrate his films to a Lacanian framework gives me that feeling of the inevitability of Lacan.

Art Cinema's enduring interest in interrogating the limits of its medium -- which of course is also present in art literature for its own medium, and frequently not only present but foregrounded in theatre. The Puppetmaster is a clear analogue to the filmmaker (and of God, lmao...they can't help themselves), but also all the unbelievably uncomfortable sex scenes in this movie are a masterclass on the male gaze and how you constitute and undermine it...etc.

Space-time Travel (Zizek) -- right away, I'm going to say I don't think this one is all that interesting, but it's what Criterion chose to accompany the 15th year re-release of the movie. So...ok 🤷🏽‍♀️ I'd say that listening to physics podcasts has convinced me of the value of a literary education (those hermeneutical skills come in so handy), so I see the relevance of thinking of these two together, but I also feel like the fake math is the part of Lacan I always found a little too silly to stand.

The agony of art as vocation -- I'm sorta lazily splitting this out from #5 just because when I originally wrote this post I had 7 points and now I can only remember 6 of them, and I like the resonance of 7....There's a Badiou-esque invocation of the four types of truth procedures at work in this movie that could easily fill the pages of another unread senior thesis: science -- the zizek time travel thing, the way the movie is, actually, concerned with the explanation of what is happening and why, rather than just accepting as a premise that there can be doubles in the world; politics -- the scene where Weronika meets Veronique is at a political rally, the east/west thing mentioned above, etc; art and love, obviously.... But the key to the "plot" of Veronique's life is "Does she keep singing, even if it kills her?"

Random closing thoughts:

I'm still thinking about and cannot resolve the mystery of the subplot about Veronique testifying in her friend's divorce(?) trial. What does it mean?

One thing that always bothered me about Kieslowski is a feeling i have that his movies are slightly (high key???) exploitative of his actresses, which seems like shabby repayment for their taking considerable artistic risks. Maybe I'm just getting this feeling from applying Lacan and Zizek to his movies though (that's two dudes who definitely don't understand about women...). I'd like to think I'm wrong about this, his masterworks are all with women and "about" women. I don't think he doesn't get this, though, see again the Puppetmaster (surely one of the creepiest dudes to ever grace an art film and that's saying a lot).