#barely even slept </3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wanderingcas · 3 months ago

Text

new beginning for the whole 'bobby takes in cas after his parents die so dean and cas grow up together but then fracture and separate for 10 years for mysterious reasons' canon divergent au

#destiel #it's going to be mostly in the present but also occasionally jump back to their teenage years to show how it all went to shit <3 #and show how that influences their relationship in the present #this is probably gonna be what kills me because i've written 12k of this in 2 days and i've barely slept lol yolo #sam rambles #i don't even know what tag to use for this #bobby raises cas au #idfk

51 notes · View notes

icewindandboringhorror · 11 months ago

Text

Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

71 notes · View notes

danielnelsen · 3 months ago

Text

update: peach is doing very well!! she's eating and sleeping normally (sleeping more than normal, really, but that's to be expected)!! after 3 days of not sleeping and a few changes in painkillers, she finally just napped for an hr then, after another day, slept through the whole night (and most of the next day). she's started following all her usual routines again and is very keen to eat! still on some painkillers, but they're not having any horrific side effects anymore

now that im not staying up to keep an eye on her all night (while also dealing with upgrading my computer and my phone and also my sister preparing to go overseas and the dogs barking and howling constantly due to all of the above), i finally got some decent sleep too and slept for about 14 hrs. so today ive got that weird shakiness that i get from sleeping too much, but hey it's better than the whole of the last week

#personal #and i have a working computer that's finally on windows 10 so that's one less thing to have background stress about #and i have a working phone for the first time in.. a year? 1.5 years? idfk. my previous phone was 16gb so i could fit like 2 apps #could barely take pictures (and couldnt store them) and couldnt update most of my apps because i couldnt update my os because no space #so every app ran slow and then eventually my phone would crash if i opened the storage section of the settings #so i couldnt even offload apps so i could delete them while keeping the data for when i downloaded them again #couldnt order medicine remotely because my chemist only lets you do that from the app (not the website)#couldnt control the aircon because that could only be done through an app #missed loads of stuff because i didnt have email notifications because i could only use my browser for emails #couldnt see tumblr polls on mobile because i couldnt update tumblr because i couldnt update my os #left the house less because i had to delete pokemon go and that genuinely helped me go for walks #ive been dealing with all that for a year so this is very exciting and such a ridiculous qol boost #it sucks how much something like that affects your life. what do you mean i need an app for everythingggg #but god im just glad peach is ok. like there was a moment when i was so stressed trying to update my computer because it wasnt working #and then she ate a small bit of food for the first time in 3 days and just. everything was suddenly fine again #and the other night i spent like 6 hrs just sitting here downloading and installing things on my computer #but it was fine because peach was on the chair next to me sleeping through the whole night and it was such a relief #my sister finally got her flight yesterday (after it was moved four days in a row) so that's just one less thing happening #ive started playing bg3 so that's cool and maybe ill get a chance to actually properly watch that new dav trailer lmao #that premiered at 2am on the first night peach was home from surgery and hadnt eaten or slept yet and i was too stressed to care about dav #and it really just went downhill for the next few days #god. ok. today is the first day i can actually breeaaaathe

7 notes · View notes

cuteniaarts · 4 months ago

Text

Wine stains on porcelain

(Alternatively: @katkastrofa and I have created 5 OCs in 3 days and I suffer from chronic “I wanna draw the little guysssssss” disease)

#my art #artists on tumblr #the legend of korra #original characters #I have not figured out a tag system yet so for now this is all they’re getting #their names are liba and abyan and I’m very much obsessed :)#they’re the children of two of our other newest OCs. Himman and Summiya #the latter of whom just happens to be Zaheer’s older sister #but he ran away from home years before these two were born so he most likely isn’t even aware of their existence #I mean. I’m sure he suspects his sisters had children. but that’s the extent of what he knows #anyway #quite a few headcanons came to mind as I was drawing so I’m gonna type them out while I can still function #(haven’t slept for two nights in a row. I’m starting to doubt whether I’m actually alive or not)#Liba is older by about a year but once they grow up a little it’s barely noticeable and people assume they’re twins #over time they stop bothering to correct them because really. they’re so close they might as well be #they were both burn with port wine stain birthmarks on their faces. much to their mother’s dismay #she has a whole perfectionism complex and needed her children to reflect that to maintain the family image #thus they were taught how to hide the marks early on. but the powder makes them constantly sneeze #liba is very self conscious about it bc of what her mother put in her head. Abyan less so bc while he’s expected to be perfect #his future doesn’t depend on his looks. he always tries to comfort his sister whenever she spirals too deep. no matter that she’s older #when no one is around to hear he calls her Lili <3 it annoyed her at first so she dubbed him Yanyan in retaliation #but over time they both grew to love the nicknames and now use them unironically #they’re the ultimate partners in crime. their goal? gaining as much freedom from their mother as possible #and sooner or later they will manage to do so permanently. which will make Summiya fall apart. but that is currently Kat’s domain #speaking of. hi Kat. I know you’ve already seen this in pencil but look! I coloured them!!#the birthmarks were both kinda annoying and rather fun to do. maybe I’ll change them later. I was too tired to look at refs so I improvised #and there’s no detail in clothing since again. 0 energy whatsoever. but once I refine their full body designs I shall go all out #that reminds me I need to go collect my new sketchbook. might do it on the way home from the store #okay I’m getting distracted. is this my very unsubtle way of trying to influence Kat to write that Summiya fic?#maybe. maybe not. you can’t prove anything 😁

5 notes · View notes

kingtankgirl · 2 months ago

Text

this is officially worse than when i had e.coli i can definitely say that now

#emeto n illness etc its pretty gnarly and i dont have a filter so read at your own risk #its been 3 fucking days of barely sleeping and having that sleep interrupted by severe abdominal pain and vomiting #and then during the day i feel almost normal again! and then right before i go to bed the pain comes back and then im just up all night #this is the fourth day of work ive fucking missed this week and i literally want to jump off a cliff #this is worse than my ulcers its worse than e.coli and i havent slept since i woke up at 11:30pm. and its 8am.#ive been shaking and vomiting all night and im soo so tired. i need this to stop. the pain definitely got to like an 8 last night #and all i could do was lay on the couch and just writhe and whine because i literally cannot keep anything down!!#not even my.sleep meds that i unsuccessfully tried to take twice and threw them up both times #my whole body is pins and needles from fevers or chills or sleep deprivation i dont rly know or care #this is the first time in 8+ hrs ive been able to look at my phone without the nausea worsening tenfold so im dropping all of this #and if you think all of this feels bad physically! wait till you hear how it feels emotionally and mentally!

3 notes · View notes

jameswilsonsupremacy · 3 months ago

Text

not dead, not alive, some secret third thing: sleep deprived

#dawgs I have barely slept in these past few days #I dipped from thmblr without realizing because I didn’t even know I haven’t been active in a day #my sense of time is scrambled I’m so sorry #I’m okay I promise life is just chaos #<3 #lucas rants #lucas vents #?#sleep deprived #slept uhhh like 7 hours max in the past week #we live we laugh we love #(we changed medications)#clearly will need a new change #do not be like me pls /Gen

2 notes · View notes

alyjojo · 4 months ago

Text

I stopped smoking on July 23. The 0’ Leo Sun ☀️ was conj my IC and the 0’ Aqua full Moon 🌙 was conj my MC with Pluto - that’s the only thing going on there. It’s been 4 days, with the help of a vape.

Yay me 😁

P.S. - the brand is GeekVape, I asked 1000 people that quit and always got “idk I just bought one” and I went through several cheap/crappy/harsh ones over the years and gave up before I got to this adjustable one I wanted the whole time, GeekVape ftw 💯

#29’ IC/MC #big year for me #he has red and I have blue and it’s that way for everything #not easy…#day 1 didn’t even feel like me fr #I didn’t decide #I just woke up #and didn’t want to #day 2 was a fog #I didn’t think I could #quit smoking #I barely remember life before it #if I can literally anyone can #day 3 I CBD gummied and slept a lot #day 4 no desire #just in time for finals 😬#but that’s Mondays problem #readings posted later #not easy either one

4 notes · View notes

widevibratobitch · 6 months ago

Text

im so fucking mad at myself at my mother at her dead husband at god fucking knows what. "concentrate on yourself" well i cant can i. now more than anything i should and i cant. losing my fucking mind istg

#i wasted the whole fucking weekend because i *had to* come visit her and once i visited i *had to* hang out with my fucking grandfather #watching him cry about grandma and bitch about modern times and the waiter not doing his job because the café was full to bursting #and it took longer than usual to get our coffees so ofc he had to loudly insult him in third person. oh and then he had to bitch about #gay people and women who dont want children too because of he did. and i sat there and listened to it because i HAD TO #wasted four fucking hours. and then i HAD TO go to the theatre with my mom because she got us tickets because she wanted this #to be a nice day for me but i dont have fucking time to have nice days rn but in order for HER to have a nice day i need to at least pretend #i am having one. so i wasted another almost two hours on that play #which was some modern uselessly loud to the point of being physically painful bullshit bad enough that we left mid-show #and then i had to go meet with her friends so lost another two hours and by the time i got home to write that bullshit thesis it was 11pm #and i barely got anything done till 1 am because i went through another stupid little mental breakdown and then it was almost 6 am #and i had to stop because i had a train at 8 and i already only slept like 3 hours that day #and then i got home yesterday totally fucking exhausted and i started reading stuff for the thesis but i was falling asleep so i laid down #'for 10 minutes' and i woke up today at 6. not having written a word lol #and now i could just say fuck it and defend it in september and it would make my life so much easier. but my voice teacher wants me #to get accepted for the masters degree even if im already planning to get the deans leave for the first semester so like. god.#i cant do this lol #i know i should have started earlier but i was kinda busy losing my fucking mind and lying in bed staring at the ceiling for hours #and contemplating dropping out completely lol god i hate my life so much it's unreal

2 notes · View notes

sprinklethetangerine · 6 months ago

Text

I think this is a pretty reasonable situation to cry in, right?

#ughhhhh #you know what becausd i hate myself (not really dw) this isnt gonna be a vaguepost #if youre reading the tags buckle the fuck up #so last week and the week before were spring break for me #and the week before was jjst full of studying and exam stress to the point where i couldnt attend my archery lessons #cause all i was doing at that time was either studying or feeling like shit for not studying #but when spring break hit actually THE VERY SECOND it arrived I had to go to another city about two hours away to visjt family #and guess what? I STAYED THERE FOR ALMOST THE WHOLE ENTIRE SPRING FUCKING BREAK #so i couldnt even do most of the shit i wanted to #and even there i couldnt enjoy my time #why? because ALL I DID was study. my cousin tutors me and I was failing these 3 specific subjects #so she was helping me withtgem and she wouldnt leave me be #and when my (undiagnosed) adhd made me shit at focusing and my mind keot wantering and i kept looking away because i was understimulated #i got shouted at which was not very fun #whats worse is she did it in front of people. literally in public.#then we come back home THANKFULLY and she comes with us. because of course.#and now all my time all of it except for one or two hours of the day is just studying #the only free time i have is when she sleeps #and school. literally never in my life have i been happy to go to school and yet id rather be there than here.#but what choice do i really have #its either this or fail the exams #it gets worse. on thursday i was really tired from school. i came back and PASSED OUT #and by passed out I mean PASSED OUT #idk if it was cause it was hot outside or school just drained my energy but i could barely exist at that point #then my cousin finds me on the couch sweaty and basically dying #what does she do? she wakes me up like “alright time to study”#so yesterday i did charity work and it involved carrying a lot of heavy boxes and stuff so i naturally came back drained and tired and she #STILL WANTED ME TO STUDY so the second we got back I just slept and i was practically comatose so she coukdnt even wake me up #i slept for 11 hours and woke up to MORE STUDYING HURRAY and then at 5 i went to archery class and we got back at 8 and she WONT STOP #i just want to go home. im so tired. physically and mentally and emotionally. i just wanna go fucking home.

2 notes · View notes

evilswag · 6 months ago

Text

mental illness shame spiral blast upon me

#i told everyone i was gonna do homework for like 3 days straight but spent a day just hanging out and then a day doing chores + going to #a friends house and today i got 4 hrs of sleep on an air mattress and my leg hurt so bad i barely slept but i ran errands anyway #and i set some stuff up and hung out with my parents a bit and i just am so unbelievably tired now #i’m trying to do homework but i can’t form any thoughts about it bcuz i’m so tired. and its due tuesday so i could technically keep pushing #it off but like. i told everyone i would do it today wahhhhhhhh and i can’t do it tomorrow i’m busy and that only leaves monday and i don’t #want to have to do the whole thing on monday cuz then it’ll take me like 4 hrs #i just know trying to do it now isn’t going to work. SHIT i forgot i’m supposed to help w a different project on monday i fucking hate #the last part of the semester i hate college why can’t classes be like 6 hrs long and there’s no homework #thanks. i guess my only options are not do it and feel so horrendously guilty for the rest of the evening i literally can’t do anything els #or try to keep doing it and keep failing. guess ill die or something

3 notes · View notes

hella1975 · 1 year ago

Note

Oh my gods, that fucking suck. I used to have a close aunt that suffered of severe insomnia so (while I can't understand it) I can get more or less the struggle of it. Even worst when people wake you up after you finally got to sleep! You have all my sympathy, and I really hope you can catch some hours tonight :(

kissing ur nose

#thank you bestie <3 it does genuinely help when people do the bare minimum of like? literally just acknowledging that it sucks?#like yeah it’s not debilitating but if u say you slept bad or can’t sleep atm to people especially STUDENTS it’s just met with relatability #and in the least not like other girls way possible insomnia is NOT the same as like. doing an all nighter bc of exams or staying out late #it’s just shit and it’s been plaguing me for years and it’s not that i need of even want sympathy from people #bc that involves Talking About A Subject That Not Only Bothers Me But Also I Know For A Fact Will Get Dismissed #but tumblr is my safe space (hence being overly shitty in that other ask) so it’s nice for people to be just like yeah that IS annoying #you know?#ask

13 notes · View notes

somethings-monstrous · 1 year ago

Text

Flashing vent gifs below the cut. I don't know why this helps, but it does.