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shmaptainwrites · 3 years

Note

Bestie, I know your requests are closed, but when there open again, we need a part two to ‘you hung the moon’ where maybe the team meets the r at the office how many years later when she goes to see Hotch, and she’s still as happy as ever, and it’s basically all fluff.

Okay this was sent in ages ago but I always loved the idea and I finally wrote a teeny blurb for it 😁

Pairings: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Reader

Warnings: pregnancy, alcohol mention

You Hung the Moon

Imaginary Wife

“So Hotch, are we ever going to get to meet the missus?” Derek asked with a raised brow.

“What is with you and your guys’ concern about my wife?” Aaron asked, quite playfully.

“Well we’ve worked with you for years man and I’ve never seen her, I’m not entirely sure she exists,”

“Morgan, I have my wedding picture on my desk,” he countered.

“I think Derek’s right,” JJ added. “That could just be photoshopped, Garcia could’ve done it for you,”

Aaron rolled his eyes at his younger co-workers, you were definitely very real.

“You know there’s an easy solution to all this,” Rossi waved his hand about. “Why don’t we all have dinner at my place, tomorrow,”

“Dave,” Aaron pressed his lips in a thin line. “I-I’m not too sure that’s a great idea,”

“Why not? It’s a fantastic idea!” he exclaimed. “Plus I’ve already met her what’s the big deal,”

“It’s just (Y/N)’s got to be a little careful with what she eats right now I don’t really want to make it too complicated-,”

“Wait, you married a dieter?” Now Penelope was in on the conversation. “How does she do it?”

“Garcia she’s not a dieter, she’s-,”

“Hey pretty boy!”

Out of instinct, Derek turned around, but was met with an unfamiliar face entering the bullpen, all the while Aaron seemed to have the biggest smile on his.

You walked straight up to him, placing a forgotten lunch on the table before he stood up to greet you with a kiss.

“Hi, pretty lady. We were just talking about you,”

“Oh really?”

You looked over at the rest of the team and waved to which a few of them, mouths agape waved back.

“Mhmm, they didn’t think you were real since they hadn’t met you yet,”

“It’s like you with the dishes,” you joked. “As long as you can’t see them they don’t exist,”

That made him chuckle and the whole group of profilers thought that somehow you had kidnapped their boss and taken him to an alternate dimension and replaced him with whoever this was.

“And Garcia, as I was saying she’s not a dieter, she’s just-,”

“Pregnant,” you finished.

As if it wasn’t obvious you did have about five months worth of belly to prove it.

“So you’ve all met her now we don’t have to do this dinner thing,” Aaron seemed very pleased with himself but you had different thoughts.

“Dinner? Aaron, that would be nice,” you hummed. “I haven’t gotten much of a chance to get to know you all yet,”

Before Aaron could say anything Dave interjected.

“We could get together at my place tomorrow,” he said. “You can call me and let me know what you can and can’t eat,”

“Awesome, thank you Dave,” you smiled. “Well, as much as I would love to stick around I bolted over here on my lunch break,” you sighed. “I’ve got about thirty, nine-year-olds waiting to learn about multiplication,”

“Thank you for bringing this,” Aaron pointed to the bagged lunch before giving you a smooch.

He then bent down so he was at eye level with your stomach pressing a sweet little kiss to its centre to say goodbye to your baby.

Once he came back up you stole one last kiss before heading back out towards the door.

“Bye pretty boy,”

“I love you pretty lady,” he waved back and as soon as the elevator doors closed the shock of the team dissipated and there was a cacophony of arguments.

“Okay so not only is she real she’s also pregnant?!” Derek exclaimed. “Hotch when were you going to tell us? When your kid turns five?”

“And since when do you use pet names?” JJ asked.

“Since always?” he shrugged. “I’ve known her since the summer before I started college,”

“But you’re so-so different with her than at work?” Penelope frowned. “It’s like there’s two Hotchs,”

“Garcia, that’s called being professional,” Aaron chuckled a little. “Look, you met her and you’re going to see her again tomorrow so why don’t you save some of your questions for then,”

“Okay, but one more,” Dave chimed in. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

“A girl,” Aaron smiled. His little girl that he had no doubt would look exactly like her mama.

—

“Aaron your shoulders are so tense, loosen up a bit,” you came behind your husband and gave him a squeeze before pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades.

“I’m allowed to be stressed (N/N), as much as I love the team they can-,”

“Be a bit much? Pretty boy, I’m an elementary school teacher who’s pregnant. A bit much is how I live my life,” you teased, turning him around and undoing his tie and tossing it on the bed before unbuttoning his collar. “Much better,” you smiled. “Lose the jacket too,”

He sighed, but listened to your instructions, unable to hide his smile. One thing that had never changed for worse between you both was how much he loved you. If anything each day he found reasons to love you more.

“What do you think?” you asked, motioning to your own outfit,a long flowy maternity dress with a cardigan overtop. For jewelry you were wearing a matching set of earrings and a necklace that Aaron had bought you for your anniversary along with your wedding ring, something Aaron was thankful to have inherited from his mother’s side of the family especially since getting married in a college student’s budget was already tight.

“You look amazing as usual,” he smiled. “What does the baby think? Are mommy and daddy good to go?” he asked, wrapping his hands around your stomach and feeling a faint kick.

“I think our sweet little girl thinks we’re ready,” you laughed. “Come on, let’s go before I have to drag you over to Dave’s,”

Aaron rolled his eyes and you prepared to leave the house together, getting into the car and driving off to, as you liked to call it, Rossi manor.

“Hey look who’s here, the guest of honour,” Dave greeted when you walked into the house.

“Oh please,” you chuckled, giving the man a hug. “How are you?”

“Not too bad, although one more minute alone with those guys and I might’ve had to take drastic measures.”

That made you giggle and you looked over to Aaron who shook his head and handed Dave the gift you had brought for that night.

“Wine, yes they really do not need more of that so I’m going to hide it,” Dave said. “But I did get you a non alcoholic one, it was Caroline’s favourite when she was expecting,”

“Thanks Dave you really didn’t have to-,”

“See look I told you we totally met her, she’s real,” Penelope pointed over to you and pushed one of the team members you hadn’t yet met in your direction.

“Hi,” you laughed, “I’m the imaginary wife and mother of his child,”

“I’m Emily,” she shook your outstretched hand and you looked over to see if there was anyone else you hadn’t met.

“And you haven’t met this guy either,” Derek said, pointing to who you assumed Aaron had told you was Spencer. “I know you call that one pretty boy,” he motioned to Aaron. “But Reid’s the pretty boy of our office,”

Introductions were down and you thought things had started smoothly, even though Aaron seemed to be extremely protective of you which you found odd given he had told you that he trusted his team with his life on many occasions.

Dinner was ready shortly after and you all made your way to the dining room where you started to chat and eat, exchanging both office and home life stories.

“So how did you guys meet?” JJ inquired. “Hotch tells us it was the summer before college but that’s about all we can get from him,”

“Well he’s not lying,” you started. “Are you sure you don’t wanna tell it?” you looked over at Aaron and asked him.

“I can tell if you want me to,” he nodded.

“Please do, you share it much better than I can,”

Aaron put down his fork and knife before wiping his hands with a napkin and figuring out where to start.

You loved listening to him share the story of how you met and fell in love because he shared the small things, the little details you never knew he had picked up on, and it really did show how well you knew each other and how far along you had come.

The team listened attentively as he shared, the story coming close to your favourite part, how he proposed.

“So I took her up to that favourite spot of hers, right outside of town. We had a small picnic dinner, nothing super special considering we were on a tight budget already, but after the sun set and the stars came out I took out my grandmother’s wedding ring and asked her to marry me,” he smiled fondly over at you while you squeezed his hand under the table. “Still the best decision of my life,”

“So you got married when you were twenty?” Penelope asked.

You nodded.

“Then why have you kept her a secret all this time?” Derek joked.

“I wouldn’t call it a secret,” Aaron offered.

“He’s just protective of me. Always has been,” you interjected. “And now with the baby he really doesn’t wanting me touching Quantico with a ten foot pole,”

That earned a laugh from the table and conversation continued. You leaned over and pressed a quick discreet kiss to Aaron’s cheek.

“What was that for?”

“A thank you for telling my favourite story, pretty boy,” you grinned.

“Anytime pretty lady, really,” he smiled. “Anytime,”

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner one shot #aaron hotchner blurb #hotch x reader #hotch blurb #hotch x you

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missfangirll · 3 years

Text

I put a spell on you

Fandom: Guardian Rating: General Relationship: Shen Wei / Zhao Yunlan Tags: crack, crack treated seriously, fluff, prompt Words: 5030 Summary: Zhao Yunlan buys a potion at the Yashou market. What could possibly go wrong?

Read on AO3

Tumblr prompt: For the giveaway, i would like to put in my lottery ticket for a little Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan crackfic please

For @blacktigersprings

This was so fun to write, and I really hope you like it. I took some liberties with the sentence you wanted included because it didn't really fit the scene I had in mind, so he just thinks it instead of saying it. Thanks to stormy for the hilarious "scared and horny" comment, I was cackling for ten minutes at that 😁 And yes, I know the title doesn't really fit, because it's a potion and not a spell, but I found it funny and it's my crack fic so 😝😝😝 - - - - -

It wasn’t even a real potion.

Or at least that was how Zhao Yunlan justified buying the bloody thing on the yearly Yashou market the day before.

“It’s not a real potion,” he had said to Da Qing as he stashed the tiny vial in the inner pocket of his leather jacket, “I mean, it’s not as if magic and potions really exist, so this is probably just dyed juice.”

He had tried to sound his usual self-assured, and even reinforced it with a cocky grin, but Da Qing had seen through him right away.

“Why did you buy it then,” he had asked, irritatingly unimpressed.

Zhao Yunlan hadn’t answered, just flashed him an obnoxious grin and sauntered off, ignoring Da Qing’s eyeroll.

In hindsight, he should have known better.

But the tiny sign next to it had promised “a deeper understanding for your partner, a closeness you never had before”, and he had to admit that it did sound appealing. Getting closer to Shen Wei was always a good thing, and understanding him better? Yeah, colour him interested. So he had bought the damn thing and spiked their evening tea with it, without saying anything to Shen Wei of course. Where was the fun in that, he had reasoned with himself (and also he had not been 100% convinced this thing actually did something, so not telling Shen Wei about it would prove its efficiency, wouldn’t it).

In hindsight, he should have known better.

But when he woke up the next morning, nothing felt out of the ordinary. Golden beams of sunlight broke through the drawn curtains, the quiet sounds of the waking city, Shen Wei’s weight pressed comfortably against his back. He was happy to keep dozing for a while, warm and relaxed, until his bladder informed him that it was time to get up.

After trying to ignore it for a bit, just to draw out the cosy feeling, he turned around with a sigh and got up. Shen Wei made a soft sound into the pillow, burrowing a bit deeper into the sheets so only a black tuft of hair was visible. Zhao Yunlan grinned and headed for the bathroom.

When he had finished what he came for and went to wash his hands in the sink, he looked up at the mirror—and froze. He wasn’t normally prone to linger on his own reflection, but this time he couldn’t help but stare. Because it wasn’t his own face that stared back at him in the dim bathroom light—it was Shen Wei’s.

He gawked at the image before him for a while longer, trying to go about this logically. Maybe it was a nightmare, he reasoned, he just had to pinch himself and wake up. Or it was just a very vivid hallucination, born from something he ate or drank yesterday, the dumplings had tasted funny, hadn’t they. But the more he thought about it, the less sense it made, and when something tugged at his mind he flinched in sudden realisation.

...be closer to your lover...

...understand them better...

...an experience like no other...

No.

No no no no.

He stared at the mirror, eyes wide, mouth agape in silent horror.

The potion.

He shook his head, almost panicking when the Shen Wei in the mirror did the same.

That doesn’t happen in real life, potions aren’t even real. This can’t be. This wasn’t how that was supposed to go.

In a daze he brushed a hand over the glass, then over his face, then over the mirror again, even pinched himself, but to no avail, the image didn’t change. His panic rising, he was about to do something more drastic to wake himself up from this nightmare, when he heard the bedroom door close. Frantically, he scrambled to get out of the bathroom, almost colliding with the person in front of the door.

If he had thought seeing Shen Wei’s face instead of his own in the mirror was a terrifying experience, seeing himself standing in the middle of their living room came very close. He couldn’t help but stare, at his own sleep-mussed hair, the scruffy beard, the pillow lines in his face; and then noticed that Shen Wei was staring too, looking like he had been hit over the head, his mouth opening and closing around a silent exclamation.

“I can explain,” was what came out of Zhao Yunlan’s mouth.

Shen Wei closed his—Zhao Yunlan’s, technically, he thought with a wince, that was going to be complicated—mouth and furrowed his brows in such a stern frown that Zhao Yunlan’s forehead ached in sympathy.

“What the f–,” he began, then clamped his mouth shut, looking even more horrified. Zhao Yunlan could only stare. His Xiao Wei, his baobei who wouldn’t even refer to his ass as such, had been about to swear. He blinked in confusion. That hadn’t happened before.

Shen Wei’s frown deepened, then he tried again. “What did you do?”

Zhao Yunlan winced, then took a deep breath.

“I-might-have-bought-a-potion-on-the-Yashou-market-and-slipped-it-into-your-drink-but-I-didn’t-think-it-would-work.”

Utter silence, as Shen Wei visibly processed that.

Then, “You–”

“Xiao Wei,” he exclaimed, taking a step closer, taking the other’s hand, ignoring that it was trembling. “Xiao Wei, I swear, I didn’t know this would happen. I just thought it would be funny, and then...” He trailed off as he saw the other’s expression.

Shen Wei inhaled shakily, then, very calmly, asked, “You bought a potion?”

“Yes.”

“On the Yashou market.”

“Yes.”

“Without knowing what it would do.”

“Well, in my def–”

“Answer the question!”

Zhao Yunlan winced, having a sudden understanding of how his suspects must feel when he used that tone on them.

“Yes,” he admitted weakly.

Shen Wei closed his eyes.

“You,” he began after a pause, “bought an unidentified liquid on the Yashou market, then used it on me–”

“Technically on both of us.”

“–on both of us, without knowing what it would do, despite knowing that Yashou remedies are not meant for human consumption.”

Zhao Yunlan bit his lip. He hadn’t known that, honestly, but it made a lot of sense now that he thought about it. He opened his mouth to say that, when Shen Wei exploded, making him recoil a step in shock.

“You idiot,” he spat, “do you sometimes use that big head of yours, or is it just for decoration?”

“I,” Zhao Yunlan tried, but clamped his mouth shut immediately. He had never heard Shen Wei this agitated, he had never called him an idiot despite having plenty of reason to, and he had never raised his voice either. Shen Wei was apparently coming to the same conclusion, because he took a step closer, looking at him with wide eyes.

“I... I apologise,” he said, almost inaudible, “I don’t know what...” He bit his lip, searching the other’s gaze.

Groaning, Zhao Yunlan hid his face in his hands. He suddenly had a very clear idea of what that potion was doing.

After Zhao Yunlan had told Shen Wei what exactly the vial had said, and taking into account the fact that Shen Wei had cursed twice during that explanation, they had quickly realised the full extent of the effect the concoction had on them. Luckily, Shen Wei also had recognised the kind of potion it was, stating its effects would lessen after a day, meaning they only had to endure 24 hours like this.

“You mean it didn’t only swap our bodies, but we’ll also develop each other’s character traits?” Zhao Yunlan asked tentatively while Shen Wei pinched the bridge of his nose. “Which is why you called me an idiot and almost said ‘fuck’.”

Shen Wei winced, then glared at him. “Don’t say that while wearing my face,” he said drily and Zhao Yunlan snorted.

“What I don’t get, though, is why I don’t seem to be that affected. I mean, it’s really concerning that you...” He trailed off, groaning with yet another revelation.

Shen Wei raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m concerned about you,” he clarified, but Shen Wei didn’t seem to understand, still looking confused.

“Aren’t you normally?”

“Not necessarily, no,” he admitted, “I know you can take care of yourself and kick anyone’s,” he paused for a split-second,” butt if you wanted to, so I’m normally not too concerned about you. But now it’s different, I feel as if...” He gestured vaguely. “I feel like I have to protect you from whatever is happening to you right now”, he added finally, and Shen Wei looked astonished at that, then briefly closed his eyes.

“Oh,” he managed quietly.

“Yeah,” Zhao Yunlan agreed. He was about to let his head fall back onto the sofa, but caught himself and corrected his posture, straightening his back.

“It could be worse,” Shen Wei said after they had sat in silence for a while, “I don’t have classes today, so you don’t have to bull–, ahem, improvise a lecture.”

Zhao Yunlan grinned at the almost-slip, then winced when he remembered. “That might be the case,” he said with a sigh, “but you forgot I have an appointment at the Ministry this morning. Can’t cancel that again, they’ll have my hide.”

Shen Wei snorted at that, then grew serious again. “We could go together,” he suggested, “that way they might not notice.”

Zhao Yunlan sighed again, then nodded. What else could they do?

- - - - -

Dressing had proven to be another difficulty, because Shen Wei vehemently refused to wear Zhao Yunlan’s customary ripped jeans and leather jacket and had insisted on black slacks, but Zhao Yunlan put his foot down when he went for the sleeve garters.

“Don’t you dare,” he had threatened through gritted teeth while wrestling with one of Shen Wei’s suit jackets.

In the end they both were presentable enough, having found a compromise: Zhao Yunlan was wearing his—Shen Wei’s? Gods, that was confusing—favourite dark blue suit, but without a tie or sleeve garters, while Shen Wei sported a dark grey shirt over his slacks. He had tried to put on a matching suit jacket when Zhao Yunlan wasn’t looking—when was he ever not looking?—but had accepted defeat when the other stared him down over the rim of his borrowed glasses. (He hadn’t been sure about this at the beginning of their relationship, but had always suspected these infamous glasses to be a prop, even then, and now that he had to wear them himself he was quite grateful they actually were.)

Zhao Yunlan had believed everything would work out right for seven full minutes, which was the exact time it took them to reach the jeep parked in front of the apartment building. When he went for the driver’s door like he always did, Shen Wei stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“I can’t drive,” he said, as if he just had realised that fact.

“I know,” Zhao Yunlan replied and made to open the door, when the grip on his arm tightened.

“You don’t understand,” Shen Wei urged, “I can’t drive.”

Zhao Yunlan turned around to face him. “Yes, that’s why I am standing here,” he gestured to the driver’s side of the vehicle, “and not over there.” He waved over the jeep, but Shen Wei shook his head.

“I don’t have a driver’s license,” he said slowly, as if explaining something to a particularly dense child. “You can’t drive while you look like me,” he added, “if we get pulled over–”

“I have never been pulled over in my life,” he replied, feeling a little indignant, but Shen Wei didn’t budge.

“Nope,” he said, shaking his head, then cringing at the word. Suppressing a shudder, he bit his bottom lip, staring at Zhao Yunlan, who briefly wondered if he always looked like this when he pouted.

In the end, they took a cab.

For all that Zhao Yunlan had delayed the meeting with the Ministry so often earlier, it was, objectively, not a big deal. All the minister had wanted was to talk about the SID’s recent increase in budget and an explanation for the sudden demand of strange materials. (”Are you building a bomb there?” he had asked jokingly, to which Zhao Yunlan could only force a laugh, thinking idly that he was going to murder Lin Jing one of these days.)

So when they entered the minister’s study and greeted him with a polite bow, he was fairly sure the whole ordeal would go over smoothly.

Well, he had been wrong before.

It did go rather well, though, for almost half an hour, as he watched Shen Wei bullshit his way through the latest case reports and inventory lists—he had only been able to very briefly fill him in on the ride over, but so far he was doing splendidly—when the minister made the mistake of jokingly questioning one of Zhao Yunlan’s decisions regarding a new hire. (He had taken one look at the guy and the way he had avoided brushing against Da Qing or Lao Chu, all with a deep look of disgust on his face, and had sent him back where he came from, much to everyone’s relief.)

“I mean, I understand your decision,” the minister was saying, “but wouldn’t that have been a fantastic opportunity for him to learn, to work with Dixingren and Yashou and overcome his... reservations?”

Zhao Yunlan saw Shen Wei’s—his?? Oh, come on, this was getting ridiculous—eye twitch and the way his hands trembled slightly, and immediately thought, oh no. He slid a bit closer on the sofa, trying to subtly put a hand on the other’s thigh, when Shen Wei spat, “Reservations?”

He and the minister both recoiled from the frosty tone, and Zhao Yunlan heard a faint echo of Hei Pao Shi in it. It made him shiver, but not entirely with anxiety, and okay, maybe he had a thing for Shen Wei playing bad cop, sue him. Mark him down as scared and horny, because this was really hot.

“He didn’t have reservations,” Shen Wei enunciated the word like a curse, “he was plainly racist, which was showing in every interaction he had with Chief–”, he coughed, caught himself and continued, not missing a beat, “my team when they talked to him. It wouldn’t have been an opportunity to learn, Minister Guo, it would have been an opportunity to harass them. Chief, ahem, my decision was in my team’s interest and nothing else.”

Zhao Yunlan stared. He had known that Shen Wei would occasionally get defensive over him when someone questioned his authority, had seen it more than once when they both attended Dixing councils—first war councils as Kunlun and Hei Pao Shi, lately negotiations as Lord Envoy and Lord Guardian—but he never had thought he would go all Hei Pao Shi on the minister, who technically was their boss.

Before he could intervene in any way, Shen Wei stood up, moving his hands as if to straighten his lapels, then stilled. He let his hands fall awkwardly to his sides, nodded curtly to the minister and turned to leave the room.

Zhao Yunlan froze for a solid ten seconds, staring after him in a daze. Then he looked back at the minister and the shocked expression on the other’s face galvanised him back into action. Jumping to his feet, he hastily excused both of them with urgent matters at the SID, mumbled an equally rushed apology and darted out of the room.

Outside, he found Shen Wei across the street, facing a wall, breathing heavily. He approached him tentatively, carefully playing a hand on his back.

“Hey,” he said softly,” are you okay?”

Shen Wei just grunted, then turned around.

“I want a lollipop,” he announced abruptly, and Zhao Yunlan could only blink in confusion.

“You...,” he began, but the other interrupted him.

“I really need a lollipop,” he said, sounding even more urgent, “or....” He trailed off, but Zhao Yunlan had an idea what he had been about to say.

“Or a cigarette?” he asked helpfully, and Shen Wei grimaced. Chuckling, Zhao Yunlan reached into the inner pocket of his suit jacket and froze. Shen Wei looked at him questioningly as he shrugged.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “but I’m wearing your clothes. My stash is in the leather jacket.” The one you didn’t want to wear this morning, he didn’t add.

Shen Wei frowned, closing his eyes.

Zhao Yunlan reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. “We could go to the SID,” he suggested, “I have to show my face there anyway and–” He interrupted himself. “You know what I mean,” he said, gesturing impatiently, “I just have to go there to do some paperwork and scare the team a bit.” He nudged Shen Wei’s shoulder. “There’s also a large pile of lollipops in my desk drawer,” he said with a conspiratorial wink.

Shen Wei sighed, but nodded eventually.

The ride to the SID went by in silence, Zhao Yunlan subtly watching Shen Wei, who seemed to grow more restless with every passing minute. He was staring out of the window, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, his leg bouncing nervously. Zhao Yunlan reached over to rest his hand over the other’s fist, wriggling until he could intertwine their fingers. Shen Wei looked up at him, then smiled faintly. He inhaled as if to say something, then, closing his mouth again, turned his head again towards the window.

They had planned to enter the headquarters together, greet everyone present and then head for Zhao Yunlan’s office, having Wang Zhang bring all the paperwork, so nobody would notice it wasn’t ‘Chief Zhao’ working on it but ‘Professor Shen’.

That plan had lasted three steps into the bullpen, when Zhu Hong jumped up from her seat.

“Professor Shen,” she exclaimed, “good that you’re here, we’ve got someone from Dixing in the visitor’s room and he only wants to talk to you.” She sighed. “Lao Chu has been entertaining him, but you know how patient he is, it’s a miracle he hasn’t murdered the guy yet.”

Zhao Yunlan froze to the spot and closed his eyes. This wasn’t going to work, he thought warily, already trying to come up with an excuse, when he heard Shen Wei say, “Alright, I’ll be in my office then,” and walk away. Stunned, he opened his mouth to protest, but Zhu Hong had already grabbed his arm, pulling him forward.

On the way, she explained in short sentences what the visitor had said—delegation from the Dixing government, here to discuss some details of the new treaty with Hei Pao Shi—before she all but shoved him into the room, closing the door behind him. Inside, he was greeted with a very stone-faced Chu Shuzhi, who bowed politely and fled as soon as he saw him, and a man in the dark attire that marked him as a member of the Dixing government, with a bloated face, tiny eyes and a very uncomfortable smile. The latter he directed at Zhao Yunlan, before he gave a cursory bow.

“Lord Envoy,” he greeted in a greasy voice that matched his face, and Zhao Yunlan had to suppress a shudder. Waving a hand in what he hoped was an appropriately Hei Pao Shi gesture, he sat down opposite the man, his back to the door.

The man smiled even wider as he said, “Lu Fengyan, at your service, your excellency.” The smile didn’t reach his eyes, which stayed fixed on Zhao Yunlan’s face, gauging his reaction.

“There is no need to call me that,” he replied with as much dignity as he could muster, “tell me why you’re here.”

The smile vanished. “I am here because of that so-called treaty,” he said with a note of disgust in his tone, “because it’s an affront to the hard-working people of Di–”

“Say what you want,” Zhao Yunlan interrupted impatiently. He was very sure that this was something the real Hei Pao Shi would never do, but something about this guy made his skin crawl.

Lu Fengyan clamped his mouth shut, then nodded stiffly. “The conditions aren’t in favour of Dixing,” he said, “hence I was sent here to explain our concerns to the Lord Envoy,” that sleazy smile again, “who always has been an advocate to our cause.”

Zhao Yunlan had difficulties not to shudder. He had a pretty clear idea what the man was trying to do, but what he didn’t quite understand was the motivation behind it. Shen Wei had told him earlier that week what the treaty said, and they had agreed that it was a better deal for Dixing than anyone had expected, with free trade and free movement between Dixing and Dragon City. So why was this guy trying to get him to change all that?

With a start, he looked up at the other with a calculating gaze, an idea forming in his mind. That couldn’t be the reason, could it?

“Say, Lu-qianbei,” he began sweetly, ignoring the other’s indignant huff at the address, “who exactly was it you said was discontented with the treaty? I just find it curious that they didn’t voice their concerns during the last meeting when we could have addressed them properly.”

He watched the other closely and saw something flicker in his eyes as he answered noncommittally, “Oh, quite a number of people in the government, it would take too long to list all their names.”

“Would it,” Zhao Yunlan said slowly, trying not to grin. Now he had him. “Or is it rather that you personally are afraid of losing your power in the ministry,” he added, each word a piercing blade, “because I seem to recall your family has been guarding the portals between our cities and now would certainly lose influence when the regulations are lifted!”

Lu Fengyan visibly shrivelled, but still tried to hold his ground. “And if I am,” he exclaimed, “so what? Colluding with Haixing has never done us any good, and this damn treaty is no exception! It will ruin us, ruin our–”

“I believe we are done here,” Zhao Yunlan said icily, getting to his feet. “You will see yourself out.” He hesitated, then bowed to the fuming man still standing behind the table. “Lu-qianbei.”

Not bothering to hide his grin, he headed for his office.

After he turned a corner, he entered the bullpen once more, empty now but for his cat sitting at his desk. Da Qing raised his head from what he was working on on his laptop. “Boss,” he nodded, and Zhao Yunlan was about to nod back, when he froze, staring wide-eyed at the cat.

“How...,” he wheezed, but Da Qing only snorted.

“Please,” he huffed with his usual cat-like superiority, “you don’t smell like him. And you walk different.” He chuckled. “I told you the potion was a bad idea.”

Zhao Yunlan grimaced, then sighed. “I know,” he admitted, “but it’s too late anyway. Shen Wei said the effect would only last a day, so hopefully all this will end this evening.”

Da Qing raised an eyebrow. “What were you even trying to achieve with that potion,” he asked, “what was it supposed to do?”

Zhao Yunlan sighed again. “The label said you’ll understand your loved one better. But I didn’t think–”

“No, you didn’t think,” interrupted another voice from behind, stern and annoyed in equal measure. Da Qing snorted and turned back to his laptop, while Zhao Yunlan faced his angry better half.

“Office,” Shen Wei said, again in a tone more Lord Envoy than Professor Shen. Wordlessly, Zhao Yunlan obeyed.

Inside his office, Shen Wei headed for the leather chair behind his desk, and they almost collided when Zhao Yunlan did the same. With a wince, he took a step back and, sighing, dropped down into one of the comfy visitor armchairs.

Shen Wei frowned at him, working his jaw. Zhao Yunlan noticed the opened lollipop laying on the desk in a pile of wrappers, probably abandoned earlier when Shen Wei had stepped outside, not willing to let the team see. He smiled at the thought, but Shen Wei’s brows knit together further.

“What did he want?” he asked, visibly trying for a calm tone.

Zhao Yunlan smiled disarmingly. “He wanted to tell me, err, you, that the Dixing government is unhappy with the current negotiations and wants some changes.”

Shen Wei closed his eyes, breathing deliberately for a few moments. Then he said, “And you accepted?”

This time, Zhao Yunlan frowned in earnest. “What do you take me for, Xiao Wei,” he huffed, “of course I didn’t. I recognised his family name and realised he just wanted to follow his own agenda, the king wasn’t even informed. I bet he came here just to try to get you on his side.”

Shen Wei deflated, letting his head fall on the desk with a thud. “Thank you,” he muffled into the hardwood, and Zhao Yunlan allowed himself a secret smile at how adorable he looked.

“Xiao Wei,” he added, “I’m a detective. And even if I say so myself, a damn good one.” He reached over to massage the other’s neck with two fingers, eliciting a pleased groan. “You can trust me I wouldn’t do something to compromise you or your position.”

Shen Wei arched slightly into the touch, then mumbled something against the desk. It sounded like ‘I know’ and ‘I’m sorry’ and Zhao Yunlan chuckled slightly.

- - - - -

They made it home eventually, after Shen Wei had stuffed a dozen lollipops into his pockets with a stony expression, making Zhao Yunlan laugh so hard he almost fell out of the armchair. Da Qing had waved cheekily at them when they left, stating in a low voice that he wouldn’t be home today, as much as he wanted to see that, whatever that was. Zhao Yunlan had ignored him, while Shen Wei had greeted him politely and wished him a nice evening.

Now they were sitting on their couch, both with a cup of tea, avoiding eye contact with each other. It had been fine during the day, when they were distracted with other things, but now that everything had calmed down Zhao Yunlan had started to get anxious. What if they couldn’t switch back? What if that spell, curse, whatever it was, lasted longer than Shen Wei had anticipated and he had to give a lecture? Or Hei Pao Shi’s presence was required, how would he manage that? To check if Shen Wei’s powers were transferred to Zhao Yunlan had been one of the first things they had done this morning, and quickly found out that they hadn’t, but neither had they remained with their original owner, which meant that currently no one could pose as the Black-Cloaked Envoy. Zhao Yunlan suppressed a groan. He wasn’t concerned about himself, Shen Wei could manage his duties as Chief Zhao and Lord Guardian half-asleep, but what about Professor Shen’s reputation, or Hei Pao Shi’s? He couldn’t ruin this for Shen Wei, he thought, he had worked too hard for it.

Suddenly, Shen Wei put his teacup back onto the coffee table, startling Zhao Yunlan out of his thoughts. He looked tentatively at the other and almost winced when he found his gaze returned. Shen Wei stared at him for a heartbeat, then deflated a bit. Reaching out, he brushed a strand of hair behind Zhao Yunlan’s ear, then cupped his cheek.

“Yunlan,” he said softly, “I am sorry.”

Zhao Yunlan frowned, but he had the feeling that this was important for Shen Wei and so stayed silent.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, “for snapping at you earlier, and... And for not trusting you.” He inhaled shakily. “Sometimes I have to remind myself that you never act rashly, even if it sometimes looks like it.”

Zhao Yunlan grinned at him. “Most of the time, though.”

Shen Wei returned the smile. “Most of the time,” he agreed. “But still, it’s not my place to question your decisions, and I will try to do better.”

Zhao Yunlan turned his face slightly to press a kiss to the hand still holding his cheek. “You know,” he said, “I also learned something today.” Shen Wei raised an eyebrow at him. “I did,” he stated, “I learned what it feels like to deal with the consequences of someone else’s mess. No, you stay here, don’t hide from me, Xiao Wei. I’m serious, I realised how often you are concerned for me and how much you suffer when I’m acting stupid.” Shen Wei opened his mouth to protest, but Zhao Yunlan shushed him. With a groan, Shen Wei hid his face in Zhao Yunlan’s neck. “I promise I will try to be less...” He faltered, not sure what exactly he should promise. Less rash? Hadn’t Shen Wei just explained he didn’t think him rash? Then what? Spontaneous? Careless?

“Impulsive,” Shen Wei mumbled against his shoulder, his breath tickling over Zhao Yunlan’s neck. He tightened his embrace, resting his chin on the other’s head.

“Alright,” he agreed, “less impulsive.”

- - - - -

When Zhao Yunlan woke up the next morning, he felt very rested and very content, Shen Wei’s warmth a comforting weight against his back. It took him a while to awaken fully, but when he did, he shot up with a start, pulling the blankets down to look at the other’s face.

With a deep, heartfelt sigh he fell back into the pillows.

Shen Wei.

It was Shen Wei’s face next to him on the pillow, his sleep-mussed hair standing up in unruly tufts, his brows slightly furrowed even in sleep. Zhao Yunlan chuckled, then swung a leg over the other’s form to lie on top of him, eliciting a faint ‘oof’ as he did.

“Good morning, sunshine,” he said into Shen Wei’s hair. The other swatted at his head, then stilled.

Turning his head so he could peek up at Zhao Yunlan, he asked tentatively, “Did it... Are we...?”

“Back to normal,” Zhao Yunlan announced loudly, pressing a wet kiss to Shen Wei’s neck.

The other chuckled, turning his face back into the pillow. “You’re ridiculous,” he mumbled, and Zhao Yunlan laughed.

#镇魂 guardian #guardian #zhèn hún #shen wei #zhao yunlan #weilan #otp: we've always been friends #my writing

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