#bad bad bad day man FUCK
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Chronic pain having disabled Jace with a mobility aid 💖
#his cane is so decked out#going through it so I’m projecting again 💖💖 onto my fave lil guy~~~#ily disabled Jace ilyyyyy#I imagine he found one to match his wand so it looks like a large version of it#just also purple bc it has to be his favorite color#porter offers to carry him places and he refuses bc he likes to build his strength back up after being bedridden for a week or two#jace stardiamond#personal#feel free to ignore beyond this point#->#watch this is gonna be what pushed me to get my own can bc the days that my mobility is limited are fuckin rough#these last couple weeks have been ROUGH#I had trouble making it up the stairs when I got home today trying to put all the weight onto my good leg#just for THAT ONE to start hurting too#gah#bad bad bad day man FUCK#getting in and out of the car almost fucking killed me#I had to keep adjusting on the drive bc every turn shifted me back onto where it hurts the most
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
doodles (as i avoid work) of the super awesome you wouldn't like me alive fic by @ectoplasmranch which i binge read in a 7 hour sitting yesterday
#🧻 sharts#danny phantom#danny fenton#dash baxter#i aint tagging everyone else. jazz was the most fun to doodle though#figuring out their faces was . hm. it was a moment. i hope i made jazz and danny look related enough HAHA probably not. i wanted jazz and#him to have the same eyes its just jazz still looks like a normal girl and danny looks like he's lost all zest and life for the world#like shit man if someone looked at me like that in the highschool hallway id be scared too i dont blame you dash#UGH DASH IS LIKE A GOLDEN RETRIEVER TO DRAW FOR THIS FIC. i love it so much. i love me a shitty guy turned nice#elderich horror danny is cool. im tag rambling now. my bad#this fic has a bit of a death grip on me. i need to be normal and go to bed#ALSO I CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DRAW TUCKER IM SO SORRY. HIS HAT. IT PAINS ME#anyway uhhh if u like danny phantom read dis fic? pretty please? for me? its at 127k words atm so. if youve got a day to spare#(dont be like i me i fucked up my eyes binge reading it LMFAO. be smarter)#guess ill die (danphantom)
929 notes
·
View notes
Text
man having the worst day of his life about to have the second worst day of his life
#turtlearts#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#the book of bill#poor guy :(#ford and bill's relationship was sooo bad but also surprisingly realistically bad so that kind of haunts me lowkey#tw blood#blood#tw injury#injury#tw#ask if anything else needs tagging bc im not sure how to tag this#ok all this real horror aside i do find it a bit funny that this man was fighting fucking demons and then the next day got sent to the#shadow realm (on accident) by his estranged twin brother like thats lowkey so funny im sorry
925 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love you albums. I love you songs connected by similar themes. I love you listening to songs in a specific order picked by the artist. I love you reoccurring motifs throughout the same album. I love you album covers. I love you albums with extended editions. I love you songs that reference each other.
#guys i fucking love listening to albums fr#best thing CDs have done for me is forcing me to listen to albums in order#this post is about. so many albums and artists#bad suns#imagine dragons#Set It Off#bastille#FUCKING HELL BASTILLE#theyre albums are SO GOOD#guys seriously. give me the future + dreams of the past. go listen to it. its so fucking good#doom days also fuckin slaps man. my fav oart is the fact the first 3 songs merge together for me until i realise million pieces is playing.#<- and ofc it has another place on it#also Imagine Dragons‘ Mercury 1+2 OUGH#the tone shift as you go through the double album until it does a full circle#sometimes a good album can be made up of songs that are banger after banger#<- All This Bad Blood-bastille Night Visions-ID smoke+mirrors-id apocalypse whenever-bad suns elsewhere-sio etc#and sometimes a good album can be made of songs that tell a progressive story while referencing eachother to enhance meaning and connect wit#-with the artists lived experinces#<- give me the future + dreams of the past-bastille mercury act I+II-ID Duality-sio#Tree Man Posts#music
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
442 notes
·
View notes
Text
no but really let’s talk about the dynamic between the older gen spideys vs young gen spideys for a moment, because it’s really got me fucked up.
miguel and all the older gen spideys seem so entirely accepting of all these “canon compliant” rules, because those rules absolutely validate the trauma that every one of them has gone through. the idea of “oh our pain had a reason, oh our heartbreak was for something after all” is a VERY powerful notion that—understandably—they welcome with open arms because they have already lived it.
but the younger gen spideys���. yes, most of them have bought into miguel’s logic for most of the movie, because of course you’re going to listen to the 1,000,000 adults all telling you the same thing when you’re fucking fifteen and desperate for any semblance of mentorship. and it sure does make a lot more sense when you yourself have also experienced a similar trauma to all the others.
but that’s exactly it, isn’t it? they’ve all experienced the same trauma—
that miles and pav have not.
so, no. actually, fuck your rules. and really, fuck your demands that i must suffer what you suffered just because you cannot accept me without it. and good on miles for saying it—good for all of the spideys who realized he was right—realized he was asking all the right questions instead of drawing all the wrong conclusions.
(yet. for all my anger i feel towards the older gen for pressuring him in that way….i also understand why they cling so desperately to these stupid “canon” rules. because, if miles can manage to resist it—if he or gwen or pav can escape what they never could—then suddenly, they have to ask the question of:
“what didn’t i do right?”
and
“was all that pain really for nothing?”
and accepting your life after having to ask those questions instantly becomes much more difficult.)
#and isn’t that all the perfect representation of the divide between generations in reality?#anyways fuck miguel#miguel hater to the day i die#not bc he’s a bad person#just because he was mean af to my baby boy miles and i will never forgive that#spider man across the spiderverse spoilers#spider-man atsv spoilers#miles morales#gwen stacy#pavitr prabhakar#hobie brown
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
What if- what if Wind’s trauma doesn’t register with him until he’s older. What if as a teenager he thinks he’s super cool for going on adventures and fighting and stuff but then the trauma slams into him when he’s older. One day he’ll realise just how fucked up his life was and all the things he disregarded or made a joke about before come back to haunt him. What if…
#squeezing and shaking the blorbo#he may be more mature than some people give him credit for#but he’s still a kid with at least SOME level of innocence#and naivety#like he’ll be like haha I was 12 when I stabbed a big bad man#and then later he’ll realise#‘I was only 12’#‘they made me save their world from impending doom at 12 years old’#all he wanted was his sister safe and sound#yet inevitable events lead him to have to shoulder the world as only a young boy#like fucking hell#he’ll have no one to relate to because when he grows up he won’t have the chain… will he?#he won’t have the others to reassure him that everything will get better and that one day he’ll find peace in his life#because everyone will be gone#and he was too young to understand why they were so careful to make sure he was okay while in each other’s company#the only people to ever understand him are forever gone. Never to be seen again#were they even there to begin with?#in his childhood?#in those sensitive years of his life?#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu wind#lu chain#wind linked universe
212 notes
·
View notes
Text
One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
230 notes
·
View notes
Text
Putting my pretty princess in different outfits again
#that don’t really fit him lol#I got my sister to watch the three demons arc with me in exchange for playing the great ace attorney#it was great we hung out all day and had fun yippee~! :3#she said it was more fun than she thought it’d be I call that a success#journey to the west 1996#jttw sun wukong#sun wukong#digital art#my art#journey to the west#xiyouji#you’re not gonna see me for a while lol#my last post before I have Lock In for finals#or2#ougggh..sun wukong…save me…..save me monkey man…#it’s my senior grad project too ouuuuuughhh o(-(#this fucking first I loled 😂 then I serioused 😠 ass expressions bruh#btw I saw that someone commented on that 5 tier Wukongs post I made saying that lmk is the best one#and listen I love Lego monkie kid wukong#but why you gotta pit five bad bitches against each other smh#like if you think the wukong on the top is as beautiful as the wukong on the bottom this is so sad 💔#have some decorum lmao
232 notes
·
View notes
Text
PHEW that one took a WHILE! hid lottsa little details in this time :)
I am so excited for all these guys to meet (I have written the dialogue and drawn teh thumbnails) I really hope you guys liked this one because i am actually quite proud of these pages :D
previous ---- part 10 ---- next
#b.e.n.t#bad end ninja turtles#tmnt crossover#tmnt au#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#future leo#tmnt 2012#2012 donnie#don bot#mutant apocalypse#the secret thing y'all voted for was the pair ups btw (who met who first :D)#why did i decide to use white text??? i've tried black but Idk#Leo's dumb little roll took me two days to finish#how the fuck is this the last man standing of the apocalypse???#tmnt comic#don bot canonically has bluetooth- don't worry this WILL be abused by the others at a later time
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
242 notes
·
View notes
Text
Giggling like a madman and twirling my hair every time Arcade Gannon speaks but immediately shaking my head and sighing exasperatedly afterwards so everybody in the general vicinity knows that I disapprove of his voice actor
#FUCK ZACHARY LEVI#I LOATHE HIS GUTS /srs /neg#love arcade to death though#i'd trust that good-looking doctor to give me my t shots & tend to my wounds as we galavant through the big bad wasteland together any day#would climb that tree of a man like...well a tree#sorry#arcade gannon#arcade fnv#fnv arcade#arcade gannon fnv#fnv arcade gannon#fallout#fallout new vegas#new vegas#fnv#leroy.txt
139 notes
·
View notes
Text
raphlep memes because im obsessed with them
#love them so bad#i got my old man yaoi goggles ON when it comes to them#they’re bickering like an old married couple & then fucking nasty in my mind palace#i have a chronic condition where i have to clown on raphael at least once a day or i’ll die#i promise i love him hes just a clown so i can’t resist#like im sorry stink stink i promise i love you and think youd make a fantastic archdevil supreme. ur just so cringe but dont worry its hot#haarlep you’re perfect and can do no wrong#you should be able to terrorize debtors for your own amusement and snack on souls whenever you want#also tried to use my own screenshots but i swiped 2 of these off google so if its ur screenshot & u don’t want me using it pls lemme know#bg3#raphael#haarlep#bg3 raphael#raphael bg3#haarlep bg3#bg3 haarlep
130 notes
·
View notes
Text
so imma be honest
i don't like this.
but imma post it anyway bc... well- it's kinda already made-
and ik there's gonna be someone out there that's gonna turnsie over it so might as well
#eye strain#(?) maybe#(?) kinda#(?) i think#(?) i guess#call it a bad day (or like 4)#(this took a while...)#he looks a bit darker(?) then supposed to#bro got burnt#this man#this man i stg#he's so-#yes.#also gave him sharp teeth bc that's still an Eclipse#and we just kinda collectivly agreed he has sharp teeth ig?#sue me.#also i suck at hyper-style art#i suck at art in general#fnaf#fnaf fanart#sams#sams solar#sun and moon show#solar#sams fanart#dca fanart#it deleted like half of my taggssssssssssss#i am not about to write that all again. fuck you all.#this is a thirst trap in disguise#art
212 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bungie once again COMING FOR MY FUCKING LIFE.
I- I'm... I'm going to scream.
#I-#HE ALMOST WISHED WE HAD KILLED HIM IN LIGHTFALL#the possession was that bad he almost wished we had killed him I CANNOT DO THIS#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FUNCTION KNOWING THIS#BUNGIE. WTF#'I know it will take time for you to feel safe again' i am not ok#i hope one day we get a canon interaction between yw and ghost addressing our traumas... like come on bungie you know how much we love ghos#we finally got the hug at the end of final shape#please give us the conversation as well im begging you#MAN. I- FUCK. THIS LORE.... JUST. *explodes*#manifesting canon ghost and yw therapy session please#destiny 2#destiny 2 spoilers#the final shape spoilers#destiny 2 echoes#echoes spoilers#destiny ghost
258 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think at least some of varrics issues would be fixed if he looked into bisexuality and thats all i have to say on the matter
#dragon age#dragon age 2#dragon age inquisition#varric tethras#da2#dai#he wanted to fuck sebastian so bad#anyway#i think if he was bi/knew he was bi hed be wau more normal#about certain companions#aka sebastian blackwall and solas#sebastian primarily#like. in what world does it make sense#to compare sebastian (ex-whore found the light of god/j)#to blackwall (wanted man for committing war crimes??? and a fake grey warden)#its so funny like. varric. whats wrong with you#love or hate any of those men we should all agree.#varric isnt normal about any of them 💀
199 notes
·
View notes