#getting in and out of the car almost fucking killed me

[salparadiselost]

A random idea that I'm not ever sure I'm going to pick up and finish. AU is that everyone lives in a movie genre and the universe if governed by the rules of that genre. Bruce, fed up with being a failed lover interest, starts to adopt kids from other genres.

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"I don't get it," Dick says, standing at the top small set of stairs and looking down them. There's like six of them, hardly enough to actually call it a staircase. Dick could probably jump the full way down without hurting himself. It's definitely not a flight, just six steps to get from the raised dias of the bank's entry to the street. But Bruce is still hesitating at the top, staring at them like they are a snake curled up in the grass. 

The man who had assigned himself Dick's father (He doesn't need a father. He doesn't have parents. His parents are dead. Killed. For eight years, their case has gone untouched as cold as their corpses. He needs to solve it. He needs to find the killer. He has to. He has to. He has to...) drags his eyes from the stairs to Dick.

"You live in a *rom com*," Dick practically spat the words. He had been growing to hate this saturated colour, plastic world. There were too many people. None of the streets were ever empty. Movements from the corners of his eyes that his brain screamed could be someone pulling a gun, someone reached for a knife, someone passing a drug off to another, was usually just a woman dressed in LuLulemon pulling her yappy dog along. It was maddening the way that his brain wasn't built for this. He saw people doing things and his mind screamed that it was clues! It was evidence! You need to investigate it! You need. You need. You need.

But he doesn't. Because he doesn't exist here. The Graysons don't exist here. No one has been killed in this city for over 100 years apparently. The worse crime in the paper had been when Miss Betty accidentally stole cupcakes because her and Joe's orders got mixed up. They were getting married now apparently.

Dick shook his head trying to dislodge the part of him that was screaming that he was missing a clue. He tried to focus on the present. Him. Bruce. Stairs.

"This is a romantic comedy," he repeated. "It's all about love, so what's the fucking worse thing that could happen on the stairs."

"*It seems I've fallen for you*," said Bruce suddenly, his voice so devoid of emotion it startles Dick. Dick's eyes snap up to meet the other man's eyes, but Bruce is still looking at the stairs.

"That's the part of the script," he continues, his voice blank. It's disconcerting. Dick has only heard him peppy or bubbly or other words that paint him as a happy-go-lucky dog. He's never heard... this. "I fall down the stairs and I... I break something. I lay there until she's suppose to rush in. She's supposed to be a nurse or a doctor or maybe just someone with first aid training. She's supposed to treat me until the ambulance comes and I'm supposed to say *'it seems I've fallen for you'*"

Bruce finally looks at Dick and he can't even describe what's in the man's eyes. It's... he would almost call it haunted. The same glint that he has when he stares in the mirror.

"I've broken my leg from falling down stairs 48 times. I've broken one of my ankles 53 times. My left arm 18 and my right 26. Three times it's been my collarbone. One time after two flights, it was my back. I was paralyzed from the neck down. I couldn’t move a damn finger, so I just laid there in pain until the clock hit midnight and everything reset. And that’s just the staircase falls. There’s also the open manholes, the broken railings, getting hit by a car, a couple of times where a bridge gave out from under me. Any of them will do as long as I end up hurt and on the ground."

Dick stared. Coldness washed through his veins, fixing him to the spot. For the first time since he got here, fear settled into the pit of his stomach. The only thing he could think to say was: "I thought that nothing went wrong here?"

Bruce gave a harsh laugh that seemed more fitting for Dick's genre. "Everything works out if you actually have someone who wants to love you. If your love interest isn't interested or she just doesn't bother to turn up... well, the universe keeps trying to correct itself even if that means you have to lay in a crumpled, bloody heap at the bottom of stairs for a few hours."

He... he didn't know what to say. Say that he was sorry? That Bruce didn't have anyone coming to love him?

He looked back at the stairs and saw them how Bruce saw them. He tried to figure out what to say, but Bruce just turned on his heel.

"Let's go find the wheelchair ramp."

[mellowwillowy]

Briar has always wanted to see what's under your uniform, not under innocent pretense but a lecherous, perverted one. But you would never think of him like that and it killed his mood, too unbothered to have a take on you anymore. You were too good for him and this town and he wished the town would act like him, not bothering you in any sort of way.

Shady Bastards AU: Briar the Brothel Owner

Briar knew he had charm, alluring countless perverts with his face and body. It earned him some quick cash for a quick fuck, enough for him to have leisure time instead of working part-time in a cafe. This kind of lifestyle led him to be a part of a grander scheme, to become a brothel owner in the future and one of the underground brothel ringleaders.

Now imagine everyone's surprise when someone as angelic and pure as you were his best friend, perhaps someone he could only consider a friend. He wasn't close with Bailey in any sense, Darryl was just one of the many passing pale faces that were stuck in Leighton's English class and he only knew Avery as some sort of your sponsor. He was surprised to learn that you were still a virgin after all the years raised in this town and involving yourself with Avery. Hell, you being one of the many orphans from Bailey's family was the cherry on top. Poor souls, he would sneer to himself, pitiful bastards, raised to be raped and pay their guardian, like a fucking investment, as what the current Bailey would now say himself.

Briar didn't care. He wouldn't care. It wasn't like he was necessarily as protective as Bailey when it came to you, no, he was only looking at you as some sort of... thing, an object that he should protect just to sate his own satisfaction urge. Like a display object, he'd rather have it clean and perfect than dirty and broken. Briar was far from a good man so imagine to his surprise when your dead body was finally retrieved from the river.

Remy had sent out his farmhands to locate you, every tree, every river, and every cave had been searched thoroughly yet it took them almost a month to finally find your body floating in the river.

Briar was... he was...

He couldn't put it into words.

Heartbroken? No, that's what Bailey would have to feel, not him.

Dismissive? No, he was also tearing a new hole in the sewer, looking for you.

Furious? Maybe yes, toward the town, the farmhands, the temple, but to you?

Disappointed? You did nothing wrong.

"Why didn't you tell me anything?" Briar whispered to himself as your casket was lowered. Briar didn't want to think too deeply about how he felt about you anymore. He had been a coward all these years so why change now? Things would just be fine if he treated you as a missing display now. Right? Right? Right?!

Briar couldn't even think straight until he saw Bailey launch his punch at Remy. It took him a moment to get on his feet and break the fight. Right... all these feelings were supposed to be felt by Bailey, not him. He was never entitled to feel this way.

So he put himself up with it for 18 years. He swore he wouldn't falter unless he was given a second chance to pursue you better. You, not anyone else. It was just a passing wish, something that would never happen until he ran into you. Or perhaps someone who looked like you, dressed like you, sounded like you. The you a year before you changed and defied the temple and god.

Briar shuddered and stopped his driver, leaping out of his car and braced himself to hold you by your wrist.

A second chance... a second chance... he promised himself.

"It seems like you are lost, little miss, where are you heading to?"

"To the supermarket! I forgot where it is because this is my first time going there alone!"

"Who were you with?"

"My boss, Bailey!" you exclaimed. "He gave me an allowance so I'm looking to get myself an ice cream right now."

Of course, it's always Bailey first. Briar clenched his fist, his smile tightening. But he won't let him get all the spotlight anymore, no, Briar will play along now.

"It's quite hot right now, isn't it? I'll drive you there." Briar smiled and pointed toward his car. Bailey did remind you to never talk with strangers, let alone riding their vehicle. But hell, you did anyway because Briar felt so familiar to you.

[lost-in-fandoms]

hi esi! for writing game:

maxiel + 53 bc I remember your amazing wingfics!

From here: Wings/supernatural body features. Hello!! <3 and thank you <3 This is set in the same wingfic universe, right after the last thing I wrote I guess and the same cw apply: unsafe and painful wing care practices.

"You should sit."

Daniel points at the pillow he had set on the floor as soon as Max steps into his room, a belligerent frown still on his face, shoulders curling in, protective.

Daniel can't see his wings, which means that Max has bound them again, after keeping them away for the whole day. It makes him want to cry, cluck at him and fuss like he's just a fledgling, but he doesn't want to spook Max. Or at least, spook him more than he already as.

"I clean them," Max snaps mutinously, going to cross his arms, but immediately aborting the movement with a barely suppressed wince.

He's hurting and he still bound his wings again. Daniel is going to kill someone. A very specific someone.

"I know you do, Max," he says, swallowing his anger like a too big gulp of protein shake, trying to keep his voice soft and level. He knows the fear that hides behind Max's facade.

"Sometimes though, it's not enough to just wash them. You have to actually preen your wings, to keep them healthy, and it's easier to let someone else do it for you."

"I'm healthy!" Max argues, as if he's not standing there, literally unable to do full movements because of how he's treating his wings on the daily. If he didn't think it would get him punched, Daniel would laugh.

"Yeah, but you can be healthier. It would probably make it easier in the car, too, if you could raise both your arms at the same time."

He means it as a joke, but Max seems to take it as a challenge, because he immediately raises his arms above his head, face stony, only betraying his pain with the way he bites his lower lip until it goes white.

Daniel rushes forward, cursing himself internally, and forcing him to lower them again.

"Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

He knows it's the wrong thing to say as soon as it's out of his mouth. Max flinches back, lowering his eyes, shoulders curling even more inwards.

"Fuck you," he spits, voice trembling. Daniel is an idiot.

"No, Max, fuck..." he sighs, dragging a hand over his face and breathing deeply. "I'm sorry."

Max freezes, eyes darting up to look at Daniel's face before snapping down again, tension and confusion hanging around him like a cloud.

"Let's try again, alright? Just listen to me," Daniel says, dredging up all his patience.

Max nods, a tiny movement, fingers tangled up in the hem of his hoodie in what looks like an attempt to keep them from shaking.

"I am not judging you, but I think you would benefit from me preening your wings. If you hate it, or if you want to stop at any time, you'll be free to leave and never do it again. Does that sound okay?"

Max takes his time to consider it, long moments in which Daniel feels his heart beating too fast in his chest, but then nods again.

And then, without any further discussion, he takes off his hoodie and drops down on the pillow.

It makes Daniel's breath stutter, to have such faith put on his hands, almost as much as it makes his heart ache to see how tightly Max's poor wings are bound.

He knows this is his only chance. If he fucks this up, Max's wings will probably never be taken care of again.

He takes a breath, grabs the cloths he had taken out while waiting for Max, and then sits on the small couch behind Max.

Game on.

[v33n4-c4rn1s]

"The odds are ours."

Remy Lebeau x fem!reader

A/n: HERE IT IS!! it got delayed twice but its here!! thank you for all the love, for making this possible. Here's the FINAL part of the main series. To answer your question..no! the series is NOT over! i plan to continue this in little oneshots! tiny extras! now, without further ado! here's the last part! as usual, Angst/Comfort. Enjoy!! <3

Summary: When wade wilson dragged you into the mess you were miserable, mourning and utterly heartbroken but now, after following Wilson and Howlett around for hours, watching them fight you finally get your end of the deal. Seeing a man you thought you'd never see again.

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To say you were pissed was an understatement, you were livid.

You should have stayed. Ran back to the face you’ve been so familiar with for just a few hours. The very face that handed out a clean, fresh start. To forget the pain of the past, to live on with him.

But luck never favoured you. 

..Neither did gravity.

You learned that when your back slammed into a car. The force of it sent white hot pain up your spine and you could barely resist the urge to curl up and scream. First you leave behind a solid connection and now your ribs are broken. Nice.

Wade groans, hoisting himself off the car while Logan just..slumps.

“Holy shit that's deadpool!!”

“And wolverine!!”

..well, at least they don’t recognize you. You're half thankful, half offended.

“You're damn straight it is! Fox killed him. Disney brought him back! They're gonna make him do this till he’s ninety!”

Wade points his finger at Logan. Amusing the children and earning a scoff from the older man. You get a brief meeting of this..Peter guy that Wade has been yapping on about. He seems..sweet. Really sweet. That's a nice change. 

- - - - - - -

You follow the ketchup and mustard pots to the street. Seriously, the pain in your ribs is killing you. You’re almost tempted to ask Logan to carry you..or play dead.

That’s when you see him, the phony bastard. Paradox.

“No! Piss off! You’re too late!” 

He yells at all three of you, waving his arms until Logan snaps at him.

“You’re fuckin’ done.”

“Why was Thor crying!?”

  Wade jumps in, pointing an accusing finger...Well, now you just have to get a word in.

“Why’d you send him to get me!?”

You point to Wade. Seriously..why are you tangled up in this mess?

“How dare you! No one comes back from the void! I didn’t send him to get you! It was his idea!”

Paradox lets out a frustrated little huff. Logan speaks up, interjecting with an almost comedic growl.

“Tell that to Cassandra Nova.”

Oh, right on cue. The beam of orange tears into the empty space. The sound of boots and..it’s the man from before. The one Logan punched real hard. God you just want to see Remy again. 

“Paradox, we have a problem.”

His head twists to the side, A shuddering snap of bones occurs before Cassandra Nova steps out. Tossing the corpse to one side. She speaks, her tone is playful. Like she's bantering with Paradox.

“You tried to kill me.”

You tense up. Just the sight of her makes you feel cold. God, you wish you could just go straight back to Remy. The portal is open. The void is there. You can see it. Hell. Fuck it. 

You move to rush forward, not even paying attention to the conversation ahead..

“Now shoo. Mummy and daddy are having a conversation.”

You’re forced backwards, Flying back alongside Wade and Logan. At Least they’re cushioned by a car. You, on the other hand, smack to the ground with an obvious thud. You don’t have as much strength as you like, You can’t pull through, not like this. Your brain feels fuzzy, your eyelids are heavy and with one last curse from Wade..you fall unconscious.

- - - - - - -

The Fire is warm on your skin. It’s comforting. The familiar scent of burning wood and..Tobacco. Your head rests against the warmth of another body.

You jolt. You don’t even realise someone else is there, neither do you realise your surroundings.

The library. In the mansion. Your home.

You look up. You dread to see what you’ll find. Memories itching to tear from your weary bones. Begging for freedom against the confines of your mind..

But a familiar face stares back. Eyes soft with affection.

“Remy–”

The words die in your throat. You just stare. He takes your hand, bringing it up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. Its soft, a gesture you could never scrub from your mind even if you tried.

“Mon amour..”

He coo’s so softly. It’s a sound you’ve missed. Before you can stop yourself. You throw your arms around his neck. WIthout missing a single beat, he wraps his arms around your waist.

“I–I thought– I thought I'd never see you again! How— How is this–”

He stops you, pulling you away just to cup your face. He avoids the question. Instead..he gives you a word of advice.

“You need t’move on Chère. Dis ain’t healthy. Holdin’ onto the past.”

It makes you feel sick. Why is he telling you this? Does he not want you to stay?

“But– I can’t let you go–”

How could you? You’ve loved him for years. Your affection never wavered for him.

“I know dat. Trust me, Gambit knows all dat.”

Despite his instance, you couldn’t. Why? Why would you? He was..everything.

“It ain’t gon’ be easy..but you gotta try– Gambit don’t want you stressin’ for de rest o’ yer life..”

He leaned down, his hands resting on your shoulders. Such a foreign feeling but oh..you missed it.

He pressed a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. He pulls away so slowly, like it hurts him to part from you. He’s always been a gentleman, he breaks your heart so softly.

“You deserve good t’ings mon amour..all dat good stuff is gon’ be yours..you just gotta take it.”

The flames in the fire roar. It's sweating hot. Remy seems to panic a little. His brows knit together and he cups your face.

“You’re never gon’ have to carry de burden anymore– everythings gonna go.”

Is it selfish to say you don’t care? It might be. The people, the friends, the history. Gone.

But this place isn’t a home, no without him.

Your Remy. Your Dashing Cajun.

A man who has seen so much but never loves too little.

A fresh, painless start is what you need.

He’ll find you. He always does

- - - - - - -

Your head feels like it's splitting open. God, everything is hurting. Your ribs, your knees, your heart.

Fuck, what the hell happened?

Oh, right..

You sit up, immediately regretting the decision. Pain climbs up your spine, causing you to wince.

“Easy, bub.”

A gravely but surprisingly soft tone comes from the all familiar Logan.

His hand rests on your chest, gently pushing you to lay back down. For a moment, he watches you. Eyes taking inyour trembling form. His hand, still resting on your chest, twitches softly. These hands have spilled so much blood yet they’re so tender on the people he cares for. Hah, lucky you. Sneaking into Logan Howlett’s heart, making him play doctor. There's an authoritative yet parental touch.

He lets you relax before he breathes out a quiet sigh, shaking his head.

“Wade’s playing hero. Said something about a gift to you for all your..hard work.”

You can tell he’s trying not to laugh. A breathy chuckle leaves him as he sits back down in the arm chair.

“How long have i–”

Your voice is..embarrassingly raspy. Seems like it's been out of action for a bit but Logan knows what you're asking him.

“Day and a half at most. You ain’t missed much. We saved his universe and uh..essentially became his roommates. Hah. I see that look. You seriously thought you could get away from ol’ mouth?”

You throw your head back with a groan. Shaking your head. God, first you lose your home and you’re already checking in to a new one? It’s happening way too fast for you to even–

“You think I still have that spare mattress? I can’t remember if i tossed it out yesterday or–”

Wade, completely geared out in costume, casually struts out of that blazing orange portal with..

Remy. 

The Remy you met in that dump–

He’s battered, for sure. A nasty cut lines his cheek and his nose is coated in more of the sticky red liquid. He’s limping. Straining to get inside without toppling over. His usual charm seems to be tossed out the window as he coughs into his fist, shoulders trembling.

“Oh there’s our sleeping beauty! Hi sweetie! Did you have a nice coma? Look what your buddy Wade got ya– and he’s all yours! We can sort out a collar tomorrow–”

He’s obviously making it sound like Remy’s some kind of dog– leashed and collared and to be honest? He might as well be. Look at those puppy dog eyes.

“Chère..”

He breathes out so softly. For a moment..it’s like you’ve known him your whole life. Wade backs up and grabs Logan’s arm. Muttering about needing to “find the mattress.”

You rush forwards, stumbling slightly and without thinking you crash against the Cajun’s chest. It’s so warm, so comforting. A breath of fresh air after the polluted heartbreak. He caves immediately. He wraps his arms around you, cradling your head against his chest.

“There's my girl..”

He speaks so softly, like you’ll shatter under his touch. You know you're crying. Pitiful cries slip past and he hushes you softly like he did that night in the hideout. It breaks his heart to see more tears but he knows it's out of relief. 

There's no need for words, not when he swoops down to cup your jaw, tilting your head up to pepper your forehead in featherlite kisses. 

He came from nothing. Living off the scraps of garbage and the skills he had. You, a version of you, changed his life for the better. He lost you once before and now he’s never losing you again. This is the start of the best new leaf anyone could wish for. Some call it relighting old flames, but is it really an old flame if it never burnt out?

You look up at him, meeting his gaze. Something clicks in your head the minute he leans in closer..

He pauses, he's a breath away from taking your own but he waits..he needs to know you're ready. It doesn’t matter if it takes years. He’d wait a thousand years if it meant he got to return to your loving arms.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to wait any longer. You meet him in the middle.

His lips are incredibly soft against your own, he tastes like liquor..it's no surprise or a shock. You already knew the taste. It was seared into your mind for good.

He outright groans in satisfaction. You can tell he’s overjoyed by the way he fumbles. He’s not sure where to hold you. It's cute, his hands try to find purchase anywhere they can. They settle on your waist before his arms decide to wrap around you, pulling you in deeper.

He’s breathless when you pull back. Cheeks flushed such a pretty pink. The tips of his ears are red. His brows furrow before he noses your cheek lovingly and presses his forehead to yours.

This is exactly where he wants to be.

He lets out a breathy sigh once more, his gaze meets yours.

“Might need to start hopin’ through portals some more if I get welcomed like dis..”

He laughs softly when you hit his shoulder gently. He pecks your nose in response, squeezing your hips.

“Ah, Behave chère, Remy’s only teasin’..”

Such a fool, but he’s claimed himself as your fool. 

The odds have always been in his favour. And this time, they brought him home.

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Taglist: @techs-stitches @kaidan-z @tetra-stark @aisling1985 @trinswhimsys

Thank you all so much! i love you all SO MUCH!! <3

[missbuckyhellfire]

This Will Be My Year : Eddie Munson

PREVIOUS PART

Part 10 : Poinsettias and Evergreens

Warnings: NSFW content, Oral Sex, Flirting, Friends with Benefits situation.

Eddie and Audra did keep their little secret for a little while longer during the holiday season. The older guys of the group did need extra persuasion over the holiday season since they were wasted a good chunk of the season.

Like one time, Eddie almost caught Gareth call Audra Eddie’s babe to Dustin while they were hanging out after a session. Luckily Eddie had cleared it up the best way that he could.

“Like my guitar mate?” He patted Gareth on the shoulder as he passed him a couple bucks. Gareth had hesitated in response but nodded.

Dustin had given him the suspicious look then shrugged it off. “Whatever lets go and watch a movie.”

Eddie and Audra were thankful that nothing escalated during that incident. And were even so grateful for what happened after the party.

Eddie’s Uncle was no where to be seen, they figured that he was taking an extra shift for Christmas cash. So they had the entire RV to themselves.

What were they to do?

As soon as Mike had closed the door behind himself, grumbling why Audra couldn’t drive him home. She would mutter something about tutoring him for an assignment. Which was sometimes true. He was improving, even impressing her with his academic credibility.

Eddie’s dark eyes immediately glued onto her and he unbuttoned his pants and his erect cock had sprung out. A devilish grin had spread across his face as she got down on his knees.

You see, the two of them had a bet, if the group couldn’t kill the vampire general to save Thia, then Audra would have to go down on Eddie. Once again, Eddie was victorious and Audra was on her knees waiting to take her “punishment.”

“How’s it smell sweetheart?” He was talking about his cock in her face.

“Like poinsettias and evergreens Eddie” He knew that she always hated the smell but she loved doing it. He was expecting something of a sarcastic response from her.

“Shut the fuck up and get me off already.” The dungeon master had grabbed the back on her hair. “Reward your general for protecting you from those barbarians beyond your lovers wall!” His voice was dramatic but he liked playing games with her.

She muttered a “yes General” to him before she opened up her mouth wide and pushed the cock inside her mouth.

They both knew she was going to be driving home late that night.

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Audra tried to keep it a secret about her and Eddie, but her Aunt Karen seemed to be watching her more so around the holiday season, especially when she would head out and took a few extra moments to get ready to go out.

“Where are you going?” Her aunt would call from the kitchen. Her Uncle could care less honestly, but she would smile and just shrug with a “Helping with tutoring, be back home soon.” 

“Oh ok have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Aunt Karen started asking Nancy about Audra at school Something told her that a boy would be involved in these frequent tutoring sessions. Nancy, knowing very well what was going on, told her mother she had no idea what was going on in her everyday life.

Audra really went out to help Eddie with tutoring, but wanted some time out of the house as well. Her family from Hanna were going to call her later in the evening and she wanted to have enough to say over the phone. She hasn’t really called them as often as she should but today was an important one since it was Christmas eve.

She loved the holidays, but sometimes it is hard as she isn’t with her family in Alberta. She missed the traditions, the trees decorated and lights, and the secret Santa her family would do each year. She knows that her Aunt is trying to make it similar, but the storebought Christmas tree isn’t the same. 

When she hopped into the car with Eddie, she couldn’t help but notice the axe inbetween them. She sighed heavily and glanced at him. He told her before that he hated Christmas since that was the holiday that was being celebrated while his mom was ill. So the axe wasn’t making any sense.

“Hey uh Eddie.”

“Yes sweetheart” He started backing out of the driveway.

“Why do you have an axe in the car?”

“Because I am going to kill you sweetheart, your goodie two shoe’s act isn’t cutting for me anymore.” He lets out a chuckle. “We are going in the woods for a Christmas tree.”

“We don’t need to do that.” Audra began but was given a side eye. Eddie had the keys and was driving so he did have the final say. That smile that she gave to him afterwords was all the affirmation that he needed.

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When the two returned to Eddie’s RV, the medium sized tree that he picked out just managed to slip through the door. While they were doing this, a grumpy looking middle-aged man looked at Eddie then glanced at Audra. He raised a eyebrow “Whose the chick?”

“Oh uh…” That caused Eddie to nearly drop the tree. He has tried to avoid conversation about Audra. He knew that there would be a million questions and he would definitely be giving him the talk.

Audra had sense some nerves and then offered to shake his hand in which he took it quickly. “Sorry, I am Audra Wheeler, one of Eddie’s friends.”

“Oh the Canadian chick I hear Eddie talk about with his band mates.” Wayne nudged Eddie and he rolled his eyes while a shade of red had flushed his cheeks.

“Uncle….” Eddie warned.

“Let me finish, the tutor who is helping my nephew boost his grades up so he can finally graduate.” He then pulled the unexpecting girl in for a hug that she wasn’t expecting. All that she could do was wrap her arms around him as he put the tree up in the corner of the RV.

“She doesn’t seem so much of a goody two shoes to me Eddie! Especially since she hangs out with you.” Wayne chuckles as he takes a step back to ruffle the metal head’s hair. “I appreciate on what you are doing for him and hope that you are at least being treated right by him.”

“I am sir” Audra said, and she noticed how Eddie’s eyes sparkled at her confession. But also raised some questions on her kinks as well.

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“Yea Hawkins is great mom! I really miss the holidays out there though”Audra said over the phone as Karen was on the couch trying her best not to peek into the conversation.  Her eyes were on her book, but her ears were listening in.

“Great to hear, I heard from your aunt that your tutoring someone.” Mom tried to pry. Audra rolled her eyes and glanced at her aunt who grew a sly smirk over her lips.

“Yea just for some credit he’s a good friend.” Audra let slip out. Her aunts brown eyes sparkled in curiosity as she turned a page of her book as her mother caught on as well.

“He? Audra Rosaline Wheeler!” Her mother hollered on the other end of the line.

“I know I know; he is just a friend of mine. We really connected and……’

‘Remember your grades Audra, don’t want you to flunk because of some boy”

Audra was silent for a moment as Karen broke her facade as she closed up her book and glanced at her with concern. She waited for her to finish her phone call before she finally spoke.

“So you have been seeing a boy.”

“Aunt Karen” Audra began but she was silenced by her Aunt.

“I was your age once too, I was smitten by your Uncle. But I wont pry anymore, I just want to make sure your getting good grades and having fun is all. Once you turn 18, your fun times will be limited trust me.” She said patting her on the shoulders then left the room.

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The next day was full of laughter and fun, yet Audra felt like something was missing.

More like someone.

Eddie told her that he was going to quickly pop by and drop something off for her. He and Wayne had plans to chill and relax over the holiday season while watching movies and eat some fried chicken, a tradition they had since forever.  He got it that Audra had plans with the Wheelers since they were fancier folk.  He said they would spend time afterwords with the group doing a holiday themed DND session the day after the holidays. With their traditional rituals  following afterwards.

However, during the evening as everyone opened up their gifts, Nancy heard a knock on the door. She was opening up the gift Robin got for her  : a set of the earrings she was eying at the mall.  She got up and walked to the door to see Eddie Munson, leader of Hellfire at her doorstep with a wrapped gift box and a red plaid shirt on.

“Well, isn’t this a surprise” Nancy muttered.

“Can see where Audra gets her book worm sass from” Eddie remarked pushing his hair from his face as he shook his head. “Is Audra here?”

“No, she is at her boyfriends house” She scoffs with a chuckle. “Of course she is here.”

“Great can you send her over for a second? I just want to give her something.” He had a grocery bag in hand, clearly with something wrapped inside.

“Nah you can come inside for a moment, we are just opening up gifts.”  Nancy gestured him to come inside for a moment. He looked down on his feet as he walked in and felt all eyes on him. However, he only focused on her.

Audra walked to the tree and grabbed the small black box under the tree. While everyone else, including Mike, who knew Eddie was dropping by was too focused on the gifts, Karen still had her eyes on the two of them.  

She heard about him, seen him in the papers about his mischievous nights and arrests. Her husband leant over her ear “Isn’t that the freak? The one who is in charge of the Hellfire club our son is in?”

Karen shrugged and kept watching. She could care less, she would at least like someone have an interesting love life. Her’s was faltering and Nancy was in a distanced relationship so not much happens.

Eddie had passed her the bag and nervously scratched the back of his neck “It’s just a little something Audra I wasn’t sure….”

Audra ripped the paper off and her eyes grew huge. In her hands was one of Eddie’s jean vests with a Metallica  patch at the back. Her eyes scrunched up in happiness and Eddie sighed in relief. “There are some patches on the bottom if you want them”.

Her arms had wrapped around him almost immediately and pulled him in for a tight hug. “Thank you Eddie!” She then took in the scent, the same on her new jean vest, whisky, smoke and a hint of pine.

“No problem,” He said as his arms had grabbed the black box out of his hands, eyes sparkling with glee seeing the black liquid core dice in his hands. “ I know how much these are and you didn’t need to…”

“I wanted to.”

He snuck a quick peck on her lips, no one else noticed but Aunt Karen who chuckled under her breath. “Merry Christmas Audra.”

“Merry Christmas Eddie.”

[whoblewboobear]

Chronic pain having disabled Jace with a mobility aid 💖

[mollyrolls]

do you guys ever have days where you’re just absolutely losing

[kingprinceleo]

Oh fuck me fuckme fuck me

[spacelesscowboy]

anyone else violently afraid of dying in a mass preventable accident or is it just me. asking for a friend.

[marshmallow-biscuit-blog]

shouldnt you be making art for yourself vs other people? You art isn’t a commodity or a product, it’s self expression for yourself :(

It's also my job. And if nobody's interacting with it I'm broke af (like how I am rn with literally $20)

[anotherpapercut]

I will never understand how some people hate all tea, which there are like a billion flavors of, but love coffee, which all has the same terrible taste no matter what

[lostandbackagain]

you guys ever wake up evil

[inkskinned]

which is fine, because love is love, and you're getting gay-married, so it would be kind of ironic if love was only sometimes love.

except The King Of Demons (his is Edmund) is always late, to everything, always. which is fair, because time doesn't work in hell, and it's not like he can just catch a bus. except that you specifically asked him not to do this, didn't you, because he's always doing things like this.

He splays out his hands, the light catching on long, ivory claw tips. god, doesn't he know not to wear white to a wedding?

so many people are screaming right now.

it's not that he's the golden child. you guys had normal parents, middle-class. your mom was kind of an "almond mom," according to your fiancée, who pursed their lips when they found out about how your mom used to wrinkle her nose any time you asked for an extra snack in your lunchbox.

you close your eyes for a moment. think of your beautiful almost-spouse. ashe. their name like a bloom inside you. how the dress looks on ashe's body, their shy little smile. how they'd walked down the aisle, and you'd both been half-laughing, half-crying. your hands had trembled when you saw them. like the whole world was pouring down your throat, golden. like you were catching a moment and casting it in amber.

ashe'd been the one to help you when your parents were pushing for you to invite edmund. god, the amount of fights you'd gotten in with your parents - the same six sentiments, over and over again.

you'd been sitting on your bed, biting your lip, your fingers hovering over the little button send. ashe'd nuzzled your neck. you used to be close, and i think that's important. but you know your relationship to him the most. i'm willing to make the effort, and i love you no matter what you choose, they'd said. we don't have to if you don't want to, though, no matter what your parents say about him.

you'd thrown yourself down, supine, arm over the eyes. he's just... we are just.... you tried to phrase that-which-is-love-and-rage.

you're the normal twin. your "big thing" was only "being a lesbian." in high school, edmund started being able to make birds die by looking at them. you came home, trying to tell your parents i kissed a girl. i think i'm - and they just kind of nodded at you. edmund was eating the bible in front of them, like a goat.

on the bed, you'd held your hands out vaguely to ashe. edmund is a just always a lot.

ashe had shrugged. don't invite him then. and it was that - that they were okay with either of your decisions - that is why he even got an invite, in the end.

and now here he is, like how you wanted (?), and your hands are red, clenched hard around your bouquet. the officiant is crying. some people are on their knees, praying. some are trying to touch your brother, like he could impart a blessing.

"i made it!" he's triumphant. "i know i'm late, i'm sorry, there was - do you know anything about right-wing politicians?"

"i'm going to fucking kill him," you say, although you're not actually sure who you're talking to, or if he can be killed.

ashe is blinking, their face in a tiny oh of surprise. you take their hand, drop their hand, take their hand again. they blink at your brother. their voice is low but steady. "there's, um. is there a dark halo around him?"

you duck your head to meet their eyes. "fuck, ashe. i'm sorry. he wasn't supposed to -"

"did i miss it?" Edmund is swinging his head around far-too-wide. his 2 sets of horns leave little red mist any time they scour through the air. "I didn't miss the kiss, right?"

the town clerk is in the audience, and she's frowning. you send her an apologetic look. she shakes her head. "as we've discussed," she manages to throw her gentle voice over the din, "the wedding isn't official if someone objects. that is the legal statute. which people tend to be understanding of." she sends a dirty look to edmund, and that makes you love her. she seems completely calm, which makes sense, because she works in the town hall, and this probably isn't even her first demon-showing-up-at-a-wedding.

he somehow hears her, holds his hands up. "i'm not objecting!" the back of the event hall catches on fire. of-fucking-course. "i'm not - don't mind me, uh, please continue." edmund sends a look to the back-of-the-room fire and it whimpers and gutters out. he flashes you a winning smile, and then puts his hand to his king's-garb chest and mouths sorry! and then cartwheels his glittering talons to say go ahead.

"i think i'm going to throw up." the officiant's voice is barely a whisper.

you watch in horror as edmund tries to awkwardly slide into a waiting line of chairs. the sound of begging follows him, people on their knees at hell's king. he pats a few of them on the head, holding up his finger in a sheepish shh! while his touch leaves a bleeding rune on their skin. his hooves click, and his footprints leave ruby-bright fireroses in his wake.

he tries to sit down, but the wooden chairs are made for people and not the lord king of demons, so he has to span his furred hindquarters over two seats. he smiles again, offers you a little wave.

the room is dead silent, minus the weeping. you look back to ashe. you ruined this. you shouldn't have invited him. you spent so much money on this event, and ashe looks so fucking handsome, and you haven't even gotten to kiss them. to make it official.

ashe looks up at you, manages a little smile. "could be worse?"

you feel yourself start to smile too, but then edmund's chairs give out, and he falls directly on the floor, and with his startled yelp, everything around him bursts into the cold whip-crease of hellflame, disintegrating everything that isn't-a-person, including the flowers and the decorations and the cake and the tables. everything you saved for months to be able to afford. the venue that you both agonized over choosing. you picked this place because it was significant to both of you and was equidistant from both your parents and had a deal with the local hotel for people coming out of town. two years of planning, literally burning down around your ears.

edmund manages to stop the fire pretty much immediately, but it's too late. the officiant faints clear away. the town clerk gives you a sympathetic look and mouths see you soon and steps neatly out of the room, taking ashe's parents with her, chatting gently. an arched flower frame collapses into dust with a loud whoomp. pretty much nobody is left in the building, and you're standing at the top of the steps, at the fucking hour of your marriage, and there is nothing left but blue-cold embers, the lights blown out in favor of the eerie hellfire glow.

you sit down, hard. after a few seconds, you feel ashe sit down next to you. you put your head between your knees so you don't puke with rage, which would be somehow more humiliating than everything else happening at the moment.

"okay, it's definitely too soon," they whisper in your ear, "but i have to admit there is something that's going to be so funny later about my name being ashe and my wedding going up in flames." they wrap their hand in yours. "i can't believe we worried about candles. we should have just gone with them instead of worrying about safety. are you okay?"

you send them a look. "am i - am i okay? this absolute bitch -" you gesture with your free hand out to where edmund is trying to piece together the cinders of his chair, "ruined my fucking wedding."

your mom is standing awkwardly in what used to be the "family" row of chairs. your father is absent, of course. she makes a noise at you. "don't call your brother a bitch."

"oh my fucking god." you have to put your head between your knees again, fighting that stupid fucking rage-puke urge. your blood pressure has obviously reached "skyrocket".

"he's here, isn't he? you're not being particularly grateful," your mother says, because of course she does.

"oh my god! ohmygod. ohmygod." you feel yourself hyperventilating, and then you start laughing, and you hate the hyena hysteria of it, the way it pitches dangerously close to a sob. "this is just - this is just like you! this is the fucking - you blow out the candles on the birthday cake! you curse the kids i'm trying to babysit! you get straight-A's on every test without studying, and get all the friends, and everyone is obsessed with you! and then when i graduate from art school, do i fucking get a party? nope! but hey, let's throw edmund a party for his 300,000th tortured soul! and his 300,001st! and fucking everything else. and fuck me, i guess! edmund gets hurt on the playground, let's burn down the playground. i got fucking bullied, and our parents don't even notice. i am fucking struggling, but we need to pay attention to edmund. he gets fucking everything. while we're at it, why don't we let him fucking ruin my wedding!"

you are dimly aware of ashe wrapping one arm around you and then the other, and then you are sobbing into their shoulder.

"oh, come on. stop with the hysterics," your mother chides you. "you had a perfectly fine childhood. all kids fight. you should have gotten the ceremony done faster. and you know i didn't approve of you spending all this money when you have student loans to -"

"respectfully," ashe's voice is cold and cutting while they rub circles on your shaking back, "and i know you're about to be my mother-in-law, but -" you hear them force a smile, "maybe you could choose this moment to leave your daughter the fuck alone?"

you are so fucking in love with ashe at that moment that it stops your weeping like you got hit by a truck. you look up at them, and want to go back to crying, just overwhelmed by the sheer fucking amount you care about them, but then you look over at your mother, and her shocked expression, and you burst out laughing.

your mother makes a few almost fish-like motions with her mouth, and then turns on her heel, stomping over cinders on her way out. and then it is just you and ashe and edmund and how you are half-crying half-laughing quietly to yourself, like a tap that won't stop dripping.

edmund has put the chair down. he is staring at his hands. he is at least 500 pounds and over 7 feet tall (he doesn't use metric, he's the devil). and somehow, right now, he just looks... small. crestfallen.

"yeah, i mean." his voice cracks. there's no boom of thunder or hellhound echo. he sounds like he did as a kid, before the strange powers and the levitating and the souls of the damned. he sounds like he did the night he accidentally melted most of the pieces in your first glass art show. he sounds - like your brother. he puts the heel of his palm against his eye. "i ruined my sister's wedding."

ashe offers him a little half-grin. "i do just want to say i love the aesthetic, by the way. but you did very much ruin my wedding too."

he points at them, finger-guns. "....ruined their wedding too." something in the attempt at humor - how his voice breaks on the words, how lonely he sounds. it makes you have to close your eyes against the sound. "....you seem cool," he says. "it's... it was nice to meet you."

you hear him come over, his hooves clacking slowly on the floor. when you open your eyes, he's sitting closer to you.

he opens his hand. inside are two little ceramic figures. wedding cake toppers. "i... i made them for you two. i figured i would try - how you make art, without magic. i... i took a class, and i made - i made them." he looks down at the little white-dressed people in his wide, calloused palm. "it's... i wanted to be ... good. i..." he looks at you, and then at ashe. "i tried, you know?"

ashe reaches up, lets him roll the figures into their palm.

he stands up. folds his hands in front of himself. "i don't. know how to be good. i know it doesn't come naturally to you, either. i saw you... choose. to be kind. you could have treated me different, too. like everybody? i was weird, and everyone knew. if you'd been ... mean? it would have been okay. but you." he shrugs. "one time you tried to kill me in the bathroom."

you don't know why you're crying. you look up at him through the cracks between your fingers. "twice," you croak. "but the second time i had a knife." you tuck your hair behind your ears. "but that was only after you pushed me down the stairs at grandma's and i broke my leg before a dance performance. you fuckin' deserved that one."

"i pushed you because you were being a wretched bitch."

"hey now," ashe says, a little edge to their voice, "that's my wife."

you squeeze their hand. "no, he's right. i had deleted his pokemon gold save file right before the elite four."

ashe drops your hand like you scalded them, showing the only horror you've seen this whole time. "you - girl, what the fuck?"

you shrug a little. "i was being a wretched bitch. and he did break my leg about it."

edmund shifts a little. "i just - you are...." his voice dies.

in your family, you don't say i love you. in your family, you don't touch each other or show affection. in your family, you just show up for each other, quietly. neither of you knows how to speak or process what needs to be said. you can see that lacking flashing over his face, literally playing out in shades of crimson. you get that weird twin-sense of something unsaid.

ashe sets the little ceramic people to the side. "she treated you like a person when everyone else treated you like a prophet."

you cut your eyes to them, and then edmund, who gives you one very short, sharp nod. "i, uh. i can. never try." he clears his throat. "i can never try hard enough. for that. i can - what you gave me. by. doing that. by ... just. i made. one thousand. wedding toppers. so it could be perfect. because - i ... it needed to be perfect." he appears to be dying of embarrassment, which does imply he might be capable of dying. oh good. in case i need to try to kill him a third time.

the thought makes a weird, wet laugh bubble out of you. "remember that one time i failed my math test and you set mr. fog's car on fire about it?"

edmund looks shyly at you, and a very small grin spreads across his face. not the dark lord - just a 30-something year old man who has just upset his one-and-only twin.

"you're throwing us the most ostentatious, egregiously expensive wedding," you tell him. "above land."

he frowns a little. "okay, but i'm not doing anything in miami. the vibes there give me the heebie jeebies."

ashe holds up their hand. "and you'll be repaying the deposit on literally everything. oh, and replacing the cake."

you kiss their cheek and then point to him. "and you'll be on time for it."

he shrugs a little. "okay, i literally can't perform miracles, so like. set the bar lower. i can't promise i'll-"

you look down at your feet. "i'd like you to be my man of honor this time. like. by my side. so. you can't be late this time. okay? we do it the right way. finally."

"huh," ashe says, looking between the two of you. "you guys have the same smile."

edmund's grin becomes a little wider, a little easier. he raises an eyebrow at them. "okay, i get that you're cool, but you're like, very cool about this whole thing."

ashe lifts a shoulder. "used to work for the monster under the bed."

"oh shit, simon? fuck." he points to them. "remind me not to mess around with you."

you want to tell edmund i love you and i missed you, but you can't. instead, you pick up the figurines. they're not perfect, but you can tell hours of his life went into each. his hands are so big - it must have taken him so much work to make these things so small. you picture him with his back bent over a workbench, trying to get a face into a tiny clay figure. the ceramic version of you is smiling. he's given you little fangs and a unibrow. he gave ashe a tiny yellow crown. you make the two figures kiss.

snow is falling indoors, little icicles of hellfire. ashe reaches out and take edmund's hand, and then, very awkwardly, he reaches out and takes yours too.

for a moment, it's just the three of you, and the beautiful quiet of the room.

You’re standing at the altar, about to get married to your beautiful fiancée. When suddenly the king of demons bursts through the door of the room, which naturally causes panic. You tried to warn everyone that inviting your sibling to the wedding would mean trouble, but they kept insisting.

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

[ba9go]

guard dog katsuki

katsuki being protective of you when you wear a short dress out on a date with him

bakugou katsuki x fem!reader (sfw) just a teensy bit suggestive but mostly fluff

katsuki loves it when you dress up on dates.

partially because you’ve dolled yourself up for him, doing your hair all nice and spritzing that damn perfume that katsuki’s addicted to. but even more so because he loves it when his girl’s feeling all pretty and confident. as you should, always.

it’s a friday night and katsuki’s picking you up from your place to bring you out to a really nice restaurant for dinner. it’s been a long, tiring week, and you’re a real sight for sore eyes, in that little black dress that sits tight on all your curves.

it’s gorgeous on you. you look absolutely ravishing in it (and katsuki has every intention of ravishing you later tonight), so really, katsuki has no complaints about the dress.

but god, katsuki hates the way these extras are looking at you.

katsuki glares at every guy who walks past you with their eyes clearly glued to you. as if his arm isn’t wrapped securely around your waist. as if it wasn’t already clear that you belong to him.

“katsuki, you okay?” you ask, looking up at him sweetly. “you’ve been kinda quiet.”

“my bad,” katsuki mutters, but he doesn’t meet your gaze. he’s busy staring down some depraved fucker who’s shamelessly staring at your ass from across the street. “m’listenin’, jus’ keep talkin’.”

but you’re not dense, and you quickly realise that katsuki’s irritated by all the unwanted attention you’re receiving.

“sorry, kats,” you grimace as you pull down your dress in an attempt to make it seem more modest. “i left my jacket in your car, i should’ve taken it with me to the restaurant.”

“you cold?” katsuki asks. you shake your head. “then what d’ya need your jacket for?”

“to cover up a lil.”

“why? ya not feelin’ comfortable?” katsuki asks almost demandingly, like an overly concerned parent, and you can’t help but laugh.

“i’m okay, katsuki, but i feel bad. you’re like my guard dog, glaring at every sketchy guy we walk by. this wouldn’t be a problem if—”

“if people weren’t freaks,” katsuki finishes for you. “s’got nothin’ to do with you, darlin’. you look beautiful tonight, as always.”

“thank you, katsuki.” you smile. katsuki tightens his arm around you and looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky tonight.

“i got you covered princess.”

katsuki does indeed have you covered. a drunk guy asking for your number almost knocks into you and proceeds to get kicked to the curb by katsuki.

BONUS:

“hey, dollface! can i get your number?”

“hey, fucker, want mine instead?” katsuki snaps so quickly you have to hold back your laughter.

“woah there, buddy, calm down!”

“this is me being calm, dipshit. can’t you see my girl’s holdin’ my hand right now? that’s the only thing keeping me from going over there and fucking you up, so you’d better hightail it out of here before i kill you for even thinkin’ that trash like you could ever deserve a chance with my gi—”

“katsuki, enough. he’s already running away, see?”

“…yes, ma’am.”

“good. thanks for being such a good dog, ‘suki.”

“the fuck did you just call me?! …not in public, dumbass.”

say “woof” katsuki! 🦴

taglist (thank you for your support!!): @anicaaa67 @maddietries @valeriyaaak @v3n7s @deimosjay @zaiban2989 @girls-overflower @notmeduhh @dreamcastgirl99 @busdriver-move-that-ass @atashiboba @kathsuhki @armeenix @channnee @sukunasbottomlefteyeball @kenqki @vikizzy @thesimpybitch @eempxth @hanta-seros-wifey @itztaki @thekidscallmebosss @crimsonrubie @babylambdietcoke @suki0 @dazqa

[chucklechampion]

evening dedicated to The Horrors