#at most it felt kinda nice | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

averyqueerpieceoftoast · 20 days ago

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Not me slowly realizing that i haven't felt any sexual or romantic attraction and when i had sexual encounters i was about as interested in it as i am when sitting in church for a baptism(i hold nothing but respect for christians, but im gonna be honest, it is kinda boring) so yeah, thats my realization that i had lying on my kitchen floor at like 2 am

#the fuck does this make me #at most it felt kinda nice #but like #so does eating butter chicken #and i actually have a real want for butter chicken #kitchen floor realizations

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ducktollers · 18 days ago

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ik its all jokes but ngl i hate when people are like “woaaaaaah have u guys seen how much furries pay for art….brb i gotta go learn how to draw furries 🤑” ik for outsiders it can be shocking how much some furry art goes for but like. the undertone of the joke is just “these freaks pay so much money for stupid art” and they joke abt just suddenly deciding to do it. as if its super easy and takes no skill or effort. like its easy money. “these losers will buy anything 😂” type energy. and the idea of ppl who have zero respect or interest in the community just basically seeing cash cows rlly pisses me off bc like. to me furries are one of the few communities that actually values artwork as the luxury it is and will pay accordingly, and a lot of furries that are well-off put their money into the livelihoods of artists in their communities and thats not stupid just bc the artists are drawing animal people

#ik its a silly joke but it BUGS me its been bugging me #like idk. ik theres weirdos and shitty people among furries same as any other group but i just feel protective #cuz like. little middle school me who felt so lonely and outcast irl found nothing but comfort among furries online #and i hate that ppl see a community that generally supports each other in our silly interests #and go YOOOO thats so weird these freaks actually pay a lot of money for artwork 😂😂😂 i should trick them into paying me 😂#and also i keep getting ig reels of furries and all the comments from locals are like ‘u know what maybe these guys arent so bad’#‘wait why are furries actually kinda chill’ ‘i take back what i said abt furries just cuz of this guy’ etc #like ik u all hate furries and think we’re weird but u could like. at least pretend not to be shocked that most of us are normal nice people #idk. whatever its been pissing me ouf #x

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skitskatdacat63 · 11 months ago

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"Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."

+ process(tw blood)

Also, look at him, bloody little guy 🥹

This drawing was inspired by several matador pics :D here and here:

^ I don't think I'll ever live up to the second one ah. There's several pics of that specific guy just soaked with blood, and I'm uh a bit obsessed with then ITS FUCKED UP I KNOW OKAY! But I've not drawn blood in a while so it was a bit difficult so I added less than I would want to I guess. Also I'm obsessed with how often they kneel in bullfighting?? Like okay who are you arching your back and spreading your legs for-

#ah not 100% sure abt this one but i think i still like it!!!#i was practicing matador poses during the wknd and im like yeah should prob paint one #and then it felt like all the energy left my body djfkkglg i was like ugh how do i paint again?????#mostly: just really wanted to draw him bloody #i love how every time i draw him in ferrari colors its just the most eye bleeding thing ever #my eyes get too used to it on my ipad's display and im like aw this isnt red enough :(#and then i transfer it to my phone and it feels like the red suddenly is hurting my eyes even worse djfkkglg #im glad the blood turned out well. i honestly think it was probably easier bcs the clothes are red already #but yes yes suffering ferrari nando. hes my comfort character atp 😭😭#perfect catie drawing: depressed ferrari fernando. blood. napoleon quote #anyways yeah lmk! i think it looks okay?? idk i think i just love the first 2 matador drawings i ever did #and its very hard to live up to them. but whatever. we move on #im glad i did a more complicated pose at least ?????#also god i was somewhat annoyed w his face and then i redrew his eye and it was like OH OKAY suddenly good okay #tw blood #<- i would put this drawing under the cut but like. my blog i do what i want and i want to draw blood #i used to draw bloody stuff a lot more but ah idk less opportunities now sjfkkglg so it was kinda nice #catie.art.#f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #matador au

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zebratimw · 2 years ago

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#svsss #scum villains self saving system #shang qinghua #how I be feeling these days ahdnfjgkg #I keep stressing about life in general and its seriously bumming me out hajdjg #how nice it would be to not exist #everyday I wake up and do the same things I hate #time hasn't felt real in years and it goes way before covid times #I haven't felt real in most of those years either #Look I'm lucky I'm not like depressed or whatever but frankly this derealization shit is seriously startin to get a little worrying at times #tbf I only really notice it recently so maybe its just a bias #I've been chugging along this way for years all thats changed is my perception of it #but at the same time I really want to do more too #I get I'm a very boring and unreliable person #and I know I just said its my perception of it but like I do genuinely think my social skills my general living just like me mentally ig #I'm kinda deteriorating in my stagnation ig? artistically too but more worrying in my life idbfjg #priorities sorry anyways I also think I do have adhd or something and that rejection thing dhfjgjg I really can't start things anymore #idk I really just feel so clueless in most things now and I'm too scared or too confused or both to start fixing things #like how do I even fix things? what do I even search for in this kind of thing?#Idk I'm just gonna go sleep ig god I'm so tired of everything #I haven't been able to draw I've really lost passion for a lot of things again and everything irritates me #I can't stand my phone sometimes but it's kinda the only thing getting me through it all ha #ngl I wish I were depressed sometimes if only so I'd actually have the balls to do smth but Ik that's just the Metnally Ail part speaking so #chug chug going along #I also have to make wushi before I die. haha #god my life is so empty #what am I even doing #I'm really so tired why can't my life end here already? modern lifespans are too long how am I supposed to keep going on like this?#so pointless and vapid and its just me ? why did it have to be me that was born? couldn't someone else have been here I hate it here so much #I strive for nothing but I have such a long life and so many people to disappoint haha maybe I should go outside more

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courtillyy · 10 days ago

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sometimes it really is as simple as the person you like, likes you back and then you're in a relationship. - a very boring and tame sentence coming from anyone who isn't me

#astro talks #sory i just im havign thoughts and feelings i guess ??#i feel liek i dont actually think about my stuff and situations. bc i spent so long not relaly baing any #like for all my teen years. i spent them purely online. online and very very mentally ill #so i never wante dto think abt my irl stuff #and i guess it has kind of conintued ?#like even through havign stuff irl. i jut kinda roll with it and dont think abotu it or soak in it #esp when im not in therapy #(which im not rn)#and just. ive been with my joyfriend (its preferred term and dude its so cute) for liek a month now #but we have been into eahc other for like year (its complicated) and i kinda didnt let mysel htink about it #and unpack it all. and even now. thinking about the person. i just. dude when i do let myself ponder #its nice its good !! it gives me more thought sna dcompliacted feelings in a good way #and like... i really need to let myself spend more time thinking about the ppl in my life #and like on purpose instead of just when they naturally come to my mind #so yeah. crazy post #but like as a person who would describe themselves as aroace. thinking abt how the person i like romantically #(not the first person ever..... but the second person ever)#also likes me... and we now are dating #and like its been a fucking journey #but like that idead that u like someone and they like u back and u then date always felt so fucking unrealistic to me lmfao #but now i guess it just is....#<333 #so yeah. god idk i just.#dude im grinnning stupid hard. and it happened most times when i think about it. another reason i should let myself think adn ponder #more often !!!!

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swoo0zy · 7 months ago

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i lost my 100 smth combo on dance dance lord hater this is real rhythm game player suffering

#its so (wander) over (yonder)#its funnt how its called dance dance lord hater even tho most of the game u dance against emperor awesome #we NEED more mid woy flash games this isnt enough #dance dance lord hater is my fav #global wandering is second place just cuz the watchdogs hanging out at the waterpark planet was kinda cute #likw ure basically going against the hater empire but then the soldiers of said empire r the ones playing at ur little waterpark after u wi #i couldnt beat the helping hands so i decided i dont like it 👎#disney xd villains unite..... where do i even start #WHY WERE THE WATCHDOGS YELLOW #super watchdogs #who gave them the chaos emeralds #peepers n hater would go after the chaos emeralds to gain power n then accidentally channel their power at all 5075 watchdogs conveniently #standing idly by #somehow #i felt so bad beating them up 0/10 game for watchdog violence #technically dance dance lord hater also has watchdog violence but its not interactive sylvia just pops up every 10 combos n knocks them ove #we need a commander peepers dating sim or smth i think itll fit in w the woy flash games quite nicely #yk ive always wanted to make a flash game #hm #pbj

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girlwiththegreenhat · 6 months ago

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you ever just. trigger your fight or flight response. over a tv show

#liz blogs #kr #knight rider #knight rider spoilers #were watching scent of roses tonight. i have a vague sense of what happens given its a pretty Big episode #and my dumbass couldn't stay out of the fandom. i dont have in depth spoilers but i have a vague idea what happens #enough that im scared. mom come pick me up im scared. mom come pick mE UP IM SCARED #i dont want them to go through This Situation :( get them out of This Situation it sounds like a SAD SITUATION #the stevie episodes make me sad enough already dude im fucking SCARED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#WA #on the bright side i haven't felt Impending Dread over a tv show in probably years. nothing good is on anymore. its kinda nice #but also OGHHH THE DREAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE DREAD #dear brain: anxiety is for being chased by predators. not a 40 year old tv show #most scared ive been since junkyard dog YIPPIEEEEE

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cemeterym · 5 months ago

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i'm begging my uni to stop making every fucking student social activity something where you have to walk around a bunch if you are a slow walker who cannot help it they literally want you dead

#i try to walk as fast as i humanly can. which i shouldn't bc it hurts and makes me dizzy. and i'm still slower than everyone else #last week we divided into groups and had to walk to checkpoints around the city to do tasks #i had a friend in my group who knows abt my issues and they walked slower with me which was nice. everyone else walked like 10 20 meters #ahead and it was fucking embarrassing bc for every checkpoint they had to wait for me #and i felt bad my friend couldn't talk to anyone else in the group bc they were zooming way ahead of us and i'm the one who couldn't keep up #and like. they didn't know my body's fucked. but these are people i do not know well at all and maybe i don't wanna disclose my medical #history to everyone i interact with #and like this event wasn't mandatory. i could've skipped it #but it's every fucking time #most nights we end up going to a bar and to these people “walking distance” is like a half an hour. and they walk fast #i can never keep up #i don't reallu enjoy bars either and i don't drink but you just kinda have to endure to socialize. some days i can't handle it tho #this week there's another checkpoint type activity. i know i shouldn't. i know i'm gonna slow everyone down #but i got specifically asked and invited to be a part of a team. i can't remember the last time that happened #also we're doing a group costume and mine includes platform heels on the streets of a very old city i am so cooked #my friend is nice tho. they know the basic lore and check up on me a bunch which always catches me off guard 😭#i'm used to pushing through and also used to people not really taking my shit into consideration so i don't know how to respond sometimes #2 people in the group know the issues and i just sent the gc a “sorry in advance i can't walk very fast” so like what else is there to do #only accessibility info we're ever given is if it's wheelchair accessible. and that's good. like you should do that. but it kinda ends there #like how much walking is there. where are the stops. are there places to sit.#i love having to either push through or be excluded disabilities are awesome #been in soooo much pain lately and have to take breaks walking uphill. functional body #i live in an area where everything. literally everything. is uphill one way or another. so as you can imagine it's going great #also “you have to endure to socialize” as if i don't end up hovering around my friend like a lost puppy with separation anxiety anyway #the group costume is winx club. btw

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aroaessidhe · 7 months ago

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2024 reads / storygraph

Where The River Meets The Soul

cosy-ish fantasy, romance

follows a herbalist who decides to find a magical bloom with healing properties which has become rare in recent years, after her sister is diagnosed with a terminal illness

she travels to the city, and along with a friend and an heiress, discovers that reuniting two reincarnated ancient soulmates will restore the bloom

but when she encounters corruption and betrayal, and finds herself getting feelings for one of the soulmates, things get more complicated

ace MC, genderfluid LI

#Where The River Meets The Soul #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #this is…okay but kinda got away from itself.#It’s a bit all over the place; the pacing is odd; and POVs are inconsistent - especially being all in first person #(the labeling of chapters with [character]’s POV rather than just their name didn’t help either.) the prose is pretty uninteresting.#I thought the slow-paced first half was alright but then the plot got a bit more intense and it just kinda lost me.#In the middle it switches to the POV of the antagonist and it’s like - overly explaining why she makes the decisions she does #but also in a way that just makes no sense?#I feel like it would have been better for us to find out about her betrayal along with the MCs rather than #suddenly giving us a bunch of her POV to show why she’s suddenly evil now.#Also there’s a bit where she finds her father’s secret journal titled: my secret journal lmao. (not quite literally but also BASICALLY that #I liked some of the main characters; it’s nice to have Black main characters in a cozy-adjacent fantasy; and an ace MC and genderfluid love #I liked the subversion of soulmates even if I think that could have been done a bit more interestingly.#The reincarnated soulmates stuff felt like it took over most of the story yet somehow was also just a background thing.#Also - the MC barely thinks about her dying sister at all? Not even at the end!#I mainly read this because the MC is ace and her being ace is basically mentioned once.#(other than I guess the nature of the romance having no sex).#Which is fine but it probably wasn’t worth reading for that for me personally lol.

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platonic-qpr-selfshipping · 7 months ago

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summer am I right

#all i write is about you #i technically have no tag for art pieces actually- i just dont draw often enough to have considered it-#I JUST REALISED I FORGOT ABOUT THE BANDAGES ON THE OTHER HAND LMAOOOO #anyway it's late and I just felt like sketching somwthing dont ask too much of me lmao #well #SUMMER #*huge sigh*#summer's too bitter to me #not to get too personal but the summer mood for me is a huge “I need to get out of here” so selfship content it is #save me wrio wrio save me #savin' me during the whole year of classes and exams and then during vacation too what a man #i honestly cant make up designs for self inserts that are as detailed as others in the game HDKS so just some generic clothes and that's it #sometimes in my mind i just imagine myself in sweatpants around there HDKDNK #i dont think i'll tag it as anything else actually just rambling in here #wrio reading papers and going around his day as he rests his head on mine and keeps me steady around him #kinda based on a video of the actors of a movie i watched recently kdndk yea that was nice #wriothesley gotta be like one of the most supportive friends out there #i keep thinking of little details to change but at the same time man im too sleepy for this HDKDBK #I dont like it here. I would like it by Wriothesley's side tho:(#n is talking

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dragonanne4fun · 9 months ago

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#hmm🫤#is it time to abandon this desperate desire to meet someone organically in person and finally wade into the world of online dating?#obviously. i would still be incredibly open to meeting someone organically #but is it time to start actively looking online??#30yrs is not that far off for me and....I'm ready to have that person who is *my person*#the person i can call when I'm lonely and not feel like a loser because i know they want to share in my company as much as i do theirs #someone who will kiss my forehead and let me lean against them while we watch a movie #someone who will play new board games with me and maybe even some Dnd #i was feeling the Big Sad Lonely last night so today I got out of the house and drove into the city to go to a few shops...#...and just drive in the traffic (I'm a weirdo who actually enjoys city driving on highways)#and one shop i went to was a big game and ttrpg store (so much awesome stuff)#when i checked out i had such a lovely pleasant and fun interaction with the guy at the checkout #he was kinda handsome. not a chad by any means but he seemed cool and had such an attractive voice #and i know nothing about him/his values/his life--not even his name #but i tell you. if that store wasn't 1.5hrs from my house--I'd be dropping in a lot more often just to maybe get to know him a little better #he was so nice and i felt like there was some chemistry there???#maybe??????#but i feel like the odds of us actually sharing all/most of the same values are low so I'm just torturing myself by dwelling on it probably #the ramblings of a dragon #i want a man. a fun godly. creative man #maybe i should be looking online 🫠

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a-dash-in-the-middle · 9 months ago

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Should I make a sandwich if its a cocktail's made me crave it and not hunger made me crave it?

#cocktails #i had monkeys tail or something like that #and its peach liquor Bailey's and granade or however that is spelled #i think you'd like it jo #anyways it looked very cool and tasted so sweet and yummy so i felt kinda bad that i made my nonalcoholic friends choose #sparkling water or something sour as a part of the drinking jenga tags #cuz like i can hold my drink and this was very low alc and sweet #and they had to drink hell #anyways i went on a tangen but just to finish it this very cute and nice bartender made my drink so i will come back #(i was a bartender yet i still fall for it every time but what can i do when she was so sweet)#*my hospitality crushes consist of big tips only tho the most i did was compliment some accessories of theirs i found oh so beautiful*#but anyways do you think i should make sandwich lunch at 12am or sleep it out #0 notes to me

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porto-rosso · 9 months ago

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brother where is the charles appreciation

#so dark out here #umm dead boy detectives review here we go! first two episodes were definitely the worst of the series. both are kinda weirdly paced and #the exposition is done poorly in places. overall from episode 3 onwards it gets much much better with pacing and show dont tell #do not understand for the life of me why they made crystal palace american #kassius nelson (<- crystals actress) was very good in places and kinda ehhh in others and im 90% the issue for most of the latter moments #was just that her american accent is not great. sorry they did that to you queen #dialogue was a bit dodge sometimes as well #stuff i liked now! the plot felt quite solid and i really enjoyed the monster of the week approach i think thats the perfect way to #do a dbd adaptation. was a bit annoyed they immediately went to america but port townsend was an interesting setting and all the #supernatural elements/characters fit in nicely #major props cos i feel like the show mostly pulled off the emotionally charged moments without getting corny and the dialogue was generally #good in those moments #particularly charles/crystals heart to heart in ep. 3 and like the entirety of episode 7 (<- ep 7 was brilliant)#overall very fun watch and i feel that the more irritating typical YA show garb was at least a bit offset by them being willing to get #quite dark in places #bit sad people are mostly posting about edwin becos charles was my favourite. has been entertaining watching americans scramble around #the cultural differences in the show #shaking my inbox like a maraca. if anyone wants to talk at me abt the show i will love you forever #.log

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dagaan · 1 month ago

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Well. As you can probably tell, I lied. I did have chapter 2 for Inkubus “mostly written”, but then I decided to go with a different idea for chapter 2 so I’ve been writing new stuff. This will hopefully be done by the end of the weekend (it’s Saturday night at time of posting), but I’m gonna err on the side of procrastination and give it until next weekend.

In case you were wondering, “old” ch2 was going to be a few months jump forward. “New” ch2 is pretty much a direct continuation. I’ll prob bump the old forward and add a ch3 to this, because there are some lines I like. And it should see the light of day.

#delete later #writing update #???#idk I felt like I should say something since I gave an eta and that’s no longer accurate #it feels kinda weird giving an update #also I’m almost to 70 followers and I don’t know when this happened???#hello?#where did you all come from #that’s not like A Lot but it’s a lot to me #idk maybe I should do something if I ever hit 100 #probably not though #the most I’d do would be like ‘poll for which AU I should write’ or w/e but that’s not very exciting #I don’t have merch and I won’t do coms and that’s usually the options for follower milestones #these tags were supposed to be short #here’s a snack if you made it down here 🍎🥤#oh also my ceiling light like. exploded.#not literally but it did spark-flash and now the bulb has a charred mark on the bottom #needless to say the filament is Gone and it’s not very bright in my room #desk lamp is my only friend #☕️ I was going to give you a hot drink to go but there’s no emoji for that #so you can keep this nice mug

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candies-and-eyeliner · 2 months ago

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I was driving today without thinking about anything in particular when i suddenly thought "the relationship doesn't have to be bad for you to leave" which is like, objectively true but??? I've been single for 4 years??? Like yes it DOES apply to my previous relationships and it's definitely something I should keep in mind going forward but what prompted my brain to gain enough XP at this specific moment to unlock that thought

#he was nice and treated me right and we had a lot of fun together #but ultimately it didnt feel like we were a couple #more like besties going through life together #i was changing and evolving and getting my degree and trying new things and stuff but he kind of just stayed the same #so yeah #he really was an amazing guy and we understood eachother so deeply sometimes we felt like we could read eachothers mind #but ultimately yeah i shouldve left sooner #when i realized that even though we loved eachother it just wasn't optimal #i just got SO confortable in that relationship i kinda forgot that i didn't have to be ok with 'pretty good for the most part'#also like we shared a friend group and it felt scary cause i didnt know how people would react and if theyd still want to see me etc etc #which was silly in retrospect cause ofc just because we werent together anymore they wouldnt automatically hate me lol #everyone was pretty chill abt it #anyway #tranche de vie #thanks for coming to my ted talk

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courtillyy · 22 hours ago

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projects actually can be fun how about that ?

#astro talks #dude if i had been in ritalin when writing my stranger things fic... my goddd #i literally only finished (after many breaks) bc i had such love for it. like an immense connection to it and just coudlnt let it end badly #but it brought me so much mental pain just to do it. and i ddint understand !!#dude.... yeah.#choosing the icon for the sideblog now :) gonna use one of chilleds emotes #like i dont want to show bias but like pr1 kinda does have him at the center. if not just for a way to explain how theyre all associated #also if i was showing bias i would do speedy lol #its a dinosaur with his hat and a love heart. felt appropriate for a shipping thing #and ill like make the blog pinned page. and start on teh submission form #which ill try to have out tomorrow #and then maybe a week? or two of submissions?#maybe open ended for a bit.#but yeah my dudes this is happening ! hell yeah :)#and i have most of my little degrassi fic done for today #its just kinda vibes and thoughts but that can be ok #and i might have smth up tmr for it. but bc i have changed it to aprox a fic a day #i can skip if needed. we will see :D #hell yeah !#dude being on disability benefits can kinda make u feel like a useless piece of shit to the world #(or at least it has for me at times. but rn. i just feel really good about myself and thats so nice)#god u read about how undiagnosed/unmedicated adhd ruins ppls lives... but like wow #i assumed even if i did have adhd. it woudlnt be that big of a deal. bc i have all my other shit as well. but dude no.#it was so much more debilitating than i could have known #anyways <3 projects yay :)

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