#anyways it looked very cool and tasted so sweet and yummy so i felt kinda bad that i made my nonalcoholic friends choose

[a-dash-in-the-middle]

Should I make a sandwich if its a cocktail's made me crave it and not hunger made me crave it?

[shiggyscumrag]

How the MHA boys react to their chubby s/o wearing their clothes<3

I also plan on making a demon slayer and haikyuu version so look out for that hoessss

Midoriya Izuku

Dude he would flip, but like in a positive way-

He would get so flustered and immediately start muttering on and on about how pretty you look and try to poorly hide his embarrassment

He would find it really cute, plus he wears slightly bigger sized shirts so it wouldnt fit to tight on you

And even if it did he would find it absolutely adorable

You wearing one of his shirts that literally say "shirt" and a pair of his sweats to go along with it and it would be one of his new favorite things

He would ask if he could take a picture to save as his new homescreen deadass

He just cant get over how adorbale you look so of course hes gonna get all flustered and lovey dovey

10/10 would cuddle you for the rest of the night and not let you leave. Sleepover timeeeee

"What are you wearing?" He said as he stumbled across you in one of his shirts and sweats. You were bored and uncomfy in your jeans and tshirt so you decided it was a good idea to steal some of your boyfriends clothes to get more comfortable. Of course he was a little smaller in size then you but it would still work.

"I got uncomfortable and I thought you wouldn't mind if I borrowed some clothes to change into. I can change if you want-"

"No no no, you're okay! I mean I like you in my clothes, and I'm glad they make you comfortable! I just didnt know what you were doing and I was a little confused at first but you look really cute so I really don't mind at all, I swear! I was just a little startled-" you were interrupted by Izuku's rambling. He always did this when he was nervous. All you could really do is chuckle, and have your cheeks blush slightly at the compliments while getting comfy on his bed.

Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou thought it was a dumb idea at first, like he just didnt get it

Though after your persistent meddling he gave in and gave you one of his shirts

After you put it on and showed him he got all flustered and very horny

He felt weirdly proud about it, it was like a way of marking you as his and he liked that

And omg when you stole and wore a pair of his boxers, he fucking malfunctioned. Heres how the scenario would go in my head-

"Welcome back Katsuki!" You said cheerfully from further inside his dorm.

"Ah, what are you doing here shitty woman! I'm tired and want to go to bed-" he stopped mid sentence when he saw you laying on his bed in his boxers and his classic skull tshirt. He didnt realize how horny he had been but now the bulge in his pants was very prominent and uncomfortably tight.

"See something you like katsu?" You teased. You knew he had been stressed from interning lately and I mean so have you, so why not kill two birds with one stone?

"Hell yeah I do." He said crossing the room fast and finding your lips. A heated makeout session started, you had sat up and placed your hands on his chest starting to undo his tie and unbutton his uniform shirt. He pulled away and smirked grabbing you by the chin making you look at him.

"You're such a naughty girl." He pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift motion, hissing when the cool air hit his cock. "Now get to sucking slut." You smirked and went down to lick his slit, some pre hitting your taste buds making you mewl. You began to bob your head at a steady pace. He groaned as his head fell back, a hand falling behind your head guiding your movements.

"Such a good little slut for me. Got any panties under here?" He said snapping the elastic of his boxers, leaving a delicious sting on your hip. You hummed causing another groan to rip through his throat. He pulled you off his cock with a pop.

"Is that a yes or a no sweet cheeks?" He said dragging his thumb against your drool soaked lips

"No sir, I dont have any panties on." You say, eyes half lidded and full of lust.

"Good answer-" He started as he pinned you down on the bed and left a chaste kiss on your lips. "Cause I was gonna take em' off anyways."

Kirishima Eijiro

When you first ask if you could borrow a shirt and pants to wear to sleep in his dorm he gladly excepted

He found it to be quote on quote "the manliest thing ever"

He would feel bad that his clothes are tight on you so he buys a couple over sized ones and wears them to get them to smell like him and next time you come to trade out hoodies he gives you those in hopes it'll make you feel more comfy

He would def also steal your clothes

He would love to wear your hoodies around the dorm and flex about having them

He loves that you feel comfortable enough to wear his clothes and to also let him wear yours

It's a trust and comfort thing that he finds the most adorbale

It makes him feel so happy, you make him so happy<3

You heard a knock on your door. You got up from your bed and made your way to the door as whoever it was continued to knock. You opened it up to see a red head with sharp teeth grinning widely at you.

"Hey kiri!" You said wrapping your arms around his neck as you leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek. He wrapped one arm around your waist and chuckled at your kiss.

"I came by to swap hoodies again! Yours stopped smelling like you." He said with a pout on his lips.

"Ah its okay baby, I'll give you another one!" You said with a smile.

Todoroki Shouto

Shouto would be confused on why exactly you would want to wear his clothes when you have your own that are perfectly fine

But he would still find it oddly comforting and very cute

He didn't really know that was a thing that couples do, you know trading clothes

So you would steal his hoodies and you would give him yours to sleep in

Dude he would get so happy

He would put your hoodie on for the first time alone in his dorm after you dropped it off and gave him a kiss goodnight

So he puts it on and just feels so comfy and at home in a sense. He just feels so calm and at peace with the world

Plus when he realizes it smells like you he goes wild

Would sleep in it every night and every morning he would fold it neatly and place it on his pillow so that when he gets home after a long day of class and interning with his dad he can wear it straight out his shower and smell your scent and be able to go to sleep peacefully that night

He can only hope his hoodies make you feel the same way yours do to him

"I can have this?" He says holding out the hoodie of yours you just gave him to be able to wear, a stoic expression still painted on his face.

"Well yeah! I thought since you let me have yours that you could have mine!" You said with a smile. Shoto couldn't help the heat that started to flush his face. He never knew that this is what couples do. He just knew they cuddled, kissed, held hands, and went on dates. He didn't know you could exchange clothing as a form of affection, but when you asked to have one of his hoodies he did love the idea of you wearing them. Shoto liked it even more when he saw you around the dorm in them.

"Thank you y/n. I appreciate it greatly." He spoke.

"Of course roni!" You said leaning in and pecking his lips "Goodnight, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite!" You said skipping towards the girls dorms.

"Goodnight. Sleep well." He said softly. You smiled and waved goodbye. Once you rounded the corner and he could no longer see you he entered his room now staring at the hoodie once again.

He pushed the hoodie over his head and put his arms through. He adjusted the material until he was comfortable. He looked in the mirror and stated to go red. He was wearing your hoodie. He started to get this euphoric feeling of relief. A sense of home is what he felt while wearing it. He tucked himself into bed and laid his head on his pillow when he got a sudden whiff of your scent. It smelled like you too. He felt even more comfy now. He went to sleep peacefully that night. It felt like he was going to sleep in your arms. It was amazing. He now wears it every night and when it doesnt smell like you anymore he asks for you to wear it to make it smell like you again. You have definitely created a monster-

Mezo Shoji

Shoji is a pretty big fella and because of his quirk his clothes are kinda unique

BUT his pants and boxers are normal and can fit you fairly well

I feel like he would also get over sized clothes to lounge in so he feels less restricted so that's a bonus for you

So now you steal his pants all the time when your too lazy to go to your dorm and change or if you haven't done laundry and your out of comfy clothes

Plus you steal his boxers to basically substitute them as spandex shorts

I feel like he wouldnt know that he would like seeing you in his clothes until he did and he would get really happy.

And he finds it incredibly sexy when you wear his boxers, like damn you finna get WRECK-

You have once again stolen one of Shojis pair of boxers to wear as spandex, cause their just so comfy! Your boyfriend was currently downstairs in the kitchen getting you guys snacks for your movie night in his dorm.

You had gotten one his boxers and hid your panties in your pants and folded them nicely over on the nightstand. He came in with his hands full of popcorn, candy, and drinks. Not the healthiest but for sure yummy!

"Here let me help bubs!" You say getting out from under the blanket and standing to help grab stuff from his hands. He stared down at your lower stomach, hips, and thighs seeing them covered in the print of one his boxers. He was used to you stealing his pants and boxers but their was something different this time. Something in him snapped. "You okay Shoji?" You asked placing your hands on his chest after already setting the drinks and candy down. Popcorn still in one hand he took the other and stroked your cheek.

"I'm okay love. I see you stole my boxers again." One of his arms finding its place to settle on your hip.

"Oh yeah I did. I didn't feel like running back all the way to my dorm just to change." You spoke "Is that okay?" You asked, a silent plead in your eyes for it to be okay with him.

"Yeah it's okay." He said bending down and nuzzling his cheek against yours. You hummed in contentment before speaking.

"I'll get the movie ready!" You said running over to his laptop on his desk across the room. Shoji saw your pants folded neatly on his night stand where he was gonna set the popcorn and drinks so they were easier to reach. He set down the popcorn on the bed and picked up your pants accidentally unfolding them and causing your panties to fall on the floor at his feet. A flush crossed Shojis face, a scorching heat firing through his body. This is the straw that broke the camel's back.

You couldn't figure out what movie you wanted to watch. You just scrolled and scrolled and scrolled through Netflix's recommended page finding absolutely nothing. Next thing you knew you felt Shojis hands wrap around you waist and his face right next to your ear.

"Shoji what are you-"

"No panties huh?" He interrupted.

That's all you needed to hear to know you were gonna have a long night filled with hours of unwatched watched movies and a bunch of screens saying "Are you still watching?"

Hanta Sero

He would praise the ever loving dog snot out of your bro

Dude he would praise you left and right, up and down, side to side which is basically the same thing as left to right but we wont talk about it

He absolutely loves it

He never knew he needed this until now and he is never going back

He loves how you look in his clothes so he would for sure start getting slightly oversized stuff so it will fit you more comfortably so you dont have an excuse not to wear his clothes

Even though he would be perfectly content if you only wore them in his dorm, he just wants you in his clothes now 24/7

He would also steal your clothes<3 and he would always say he likes how they smell like you AHHHHHHH

"Come on, do a little twirl for me!" Sero teased as he spun his finger around in a circle.

"Sero!" You said, you could feel your face growing hotter by the second. He loved when you got all hit and bothered by his praise so he always teases you.

"You just look so damn good~" he said as he snaked his arms around your waist. He leaned in making you eager and lean in as well. Just as your about to kiss he pulls away.

"Sero stop teasing!" You whisper shout, a bit of whine in your voice.

That's when he leaned down fully and gave you a kiss on your lips. You depended the kiss and started a full on make out session. His hands trailed down to your ass grabbing it firmly cause a gasp from you. He took that as a chance to slip his tongue in. After a couple minutes you both pulled away for air, slightly panting and a string of salvia connecting your lips.

"You look really cute in my clothes but I think they'd look cutest on the floor-"

[otakween]

07-Ghost - The World (Part. 3)

Episodes 21-30 of the 07-Ghost radio show! Aww man, I’m really sad it’s over. I had a lot of fun listening the whole way through. It definitely made me a Namikawa Daisuke fan. I look forward to spotting him in another role!

Episode 21

Kuroyuri VA’s second episode. Honestly, she was kind of annoying (sorry!) She wouldn’t stop cracking up at everything and it made the whole episode very chaotic. They started out by discussing: their ideal birthdays and nicknames they’ve had in their lives. They then played a “what would you do?” game where they had to pick the most popular reaction to various scenarios. This time the punishment was to speak like a servant/butler. The loser was...Namikawa of course (lol every time!)

Namikawa failing at keigo was honestly the highlight of the episode for me because, same. Apparently this episode came out close to the end of the anime. Funny that the show would go on for so long after the show was already over. I guess because the manga was ongoing and they still had DVD sales to boost? 

Episode 22

The first no-Namikawa episode in a long time (another scheduling issue). This time though we got two guests: Castor and Lab’s VAs! Saiga called it a “church special” lol. It did feel like a mini reunion. The opening discussion was “what do you do to calm down when you feel stressed.” Lab’s VA said he likes to be alone/have alone time. Castor’s VA said he likes to eat sweets lol. Maybe it’s because Namikawa wasn’t there to react, but they barely read any fan mail. 

For a game, since Lab’s VA was there they played a “flower language” game where they had to guess what each flower signified. Somehow the flowers were also connected to birthdays? I tried to Google this but couldn’t find much. I want to know my birthday flower! Anyway, the final corner was a “Last Supper” where they ate something that was supposed to taste like chestnut and another thing that was supposed to taste like sweet potato. For once, both experiments were yummy. 

Episode 23

In this episode Namikawa comes back and so does Lab’s VA (sorry, I should probably learn his name). I was honestly pretty relieved to hear Namikawa again because he’s really the heart of the show. They discussed their blood types and caught Namikawa up on what he missed in the last episode. I finally looked up what the heck “Namikawa ga Kamu” means (the name of one of the corners) and I think what they’re going for is that he snaps at the listeners who send him ridiculous mail lol. Kamu has a bunch of different meanings so it took me awhile to get that.

They played another flower-themed game. This time they had to guess which flowers out of a bunch listed were currently blooming. They kept saying “ah that one blooms in winter, huh?” and I was like “wtf? Nothing blooms in winter!” Damn you Japan and your higher temps! This time Saiga and Lab’s VA lost and their punishment was to speak like a maiko (I didn’t even know maiko had a unique speech style). The final segment was responding to listeners worries but I honestly struggled to understand what they were saying and spaced out a little, oops! Lab’s VA said he wants to come back, but was disappointed in the lack of food this time around lol. 

Episode 24 

Wow, a Bastien episode, how unexpected. I honestly forgot what Bastien sounded like because he was in so little of the anime, but he has a nice, deep voice. Probably second deepest after Ayanami. It cracked me up how he and Namikawa bonded over how they both voice dead guys. The started the episode out by discussing what kind of food they like to eat in November and then talked about how popular/unpopular they were in their younger years. One fanmail asked what they would give Teito as a birthday present and no one really knew what to say LOL (it is a hard question). Namikawa said a camera and Bastien’s VA said “Mikage” loool. 

I thought the game they chose for the Bastien episode “find the impostor” was clever, but it was hard to play along. It was another game where they had to pick “which one of these doesn’t belong” out of a list of 07 Ghost things, but they didn’t clearly read out the options so it wasn’t super interesting to listen to. Bastien’s VA lost and his punishment was to talk like a country bumpkin for the next segment. They ended the episode by doing the confessional-like corner and listening to listener’s sins. Amen. 

Episode 25 

Another Kuroyuri episode! I guess she was really available lol. This one was recorded around Christmas time so it was slightly Christmas themed. They talked about sock fetishes (for some reason lol) & read some more chaotic fan mail. One girl that wrote in claimed to be from Namikawa’s elementary school and they freaked out. 

The game they played this time around was “what do you want for Christmas” where each person listed a bunch of things they might want for Xmas and then the others had to guess what the correct answer was. Kuroyuri asked something along the lines of “what cup size boobs do most women want?” I’m used to boobs coming up a lot in stupid anime so I was kinda surprised to hear real people have that conversation lol. Namikawa was clearly uncomfortable and gave the “I think size doesn’t matter” speech haha. (By the way, the answer was C cup). Namikawa lost as usual and had to use “reindeer speech” for the following segment. His interpretation of this was to add “tona” at the end of every sentence (because tonakai = reindeer). 

The final segment was Last Supper and they ate things that are supposed to taste like melon when you eat them together (white chocolate + apple juice, cucumber + honey). Apparently neither hit the mark but at least they weren’t too gross this time. 

Episode 26

Jun (Hakuren’s VA) returns! They call him “Jun Jun” which is way too cute. I think he’s one of my favorite guests, just cuz he’s so iconic and has great energy for radio. In this episode they discussed what color each person would be (Namikawa = orange, Jun = black, Saiga = blue). They also discussed New Year’s resolutions because this was recorded around January. They played an 07-Ghost themed version of karuta which was fun to play along with. Guess who lost? (It was Namikawa lol). I totally didn’t get what his punishment was. He had to talk like “maro/daimaro” and I couldn’t figure out via google what the heck that is.

In the final segment they gave advice to listeners. One listener asked what they should do about a mouse problem. Namikawa at first said “move” but then changed his answer to “get a cat” lol. Very inspired. Only 4 episodes to go~!

Episode 27

A rare no-guest episode. Namikawa seemed very fed up and low energy in this one lol. This was recorded in January so they discussed new years again. It’s kinda cool hearing time pass in these. Oh how innocent times were back in 2009/2010. The only thing that really stood out in the beginning of this episode was that one listener called Namikawa “Namikawa D-Cup-san” and Saiga and Namikawa died laughing. This was in reference to a past episode where Namikawa called himself that but he acted like he never said that loool. Honestly, the best part of this show is just hearing everyone laugh at dumb jokes.

The game they played this time around was pretty creative. Basically while one person was blindfolded the other had to help them draw a picture of a 07 Ghost character with verbal instructions. As they did so, they had to stay in-character. It was really funny hearing Saiga switch from polite Japanese to Teito’s feral speech style. You don’t really realize how cartoony anime character’s are until you hear natural speech right next to it (or maybe that’s just me lol). Namikawa lost again (I felt bad for him this time cuz he sounded genuinely disappointed) and his punishment was to stay in Mikage-mode until the end of the episode. He said acting so “pure” was exhausting. 

Episode 28

Another Haruse episode. He was really cute in this one, he admitted that he was nervous about doing radio and was worried his voice would shake haha. They again talked about New Years and New Year’s resolutions. They also took some kind of “psychology test” where they had to describe what color/pattern handkerchief they’d want to receive from a girl. The color handkerchief = the color of panties they like or something stupid like that lol. 

For the game, they had to put 07-Ghost characters in the correct order. Saiga had to order the ghosts, Haruse’s VA had to rank the Black Hawks, and Namikawa had to organize a bunch of characters in the order they’re introduced in the manga. Pretty difficult. Everyone did about the same so they had to do rocks, paper, scissors to decide the loser. The loser was, of course, Namikawa. His punishment was to sing everything like an opera singer for the next segment.

The final segment was giving advice to listeners. One person asked for advice on dating someone older than you and another person asked about giving “the talk” to their younger brother lol. At least I think that’s what they said. These advice portions have some tricky Japanese. 

Episode 29

The first Konatsu episode, it’s interesting to see them bring in new guests at the very end. Konatsu was one of my favorite characters so it’s unfortunate that I found his VA really annoying lol. His style of humor was to just repeat the same obnoxious thing over and over again and I found it really grating. This was recorded in February so they discussed how much you should spend on Valentine’s day chocolate. They also asked Konatsu’s VA what kind of character Konatsu is and he basically said “I had like no lines, so I dunno” lol. Too true. I forgot Konatsu was even in the anime.

For the game they had to pop some balloons and the more hearts they got the better their score was. (I guess they put heart on pieces of paper and stuffed them inside the balloons?) For once the loser was the guest and Konatsu’s VA had speak in a Kansai dialect for the final segment. The episode ended with “The Last Supper” and they ate avocado with vanilla ice cream, which apparently is supposed to taste like mango.

Episode 30

The grand finale! They actually called it that too. I wasn’t sure if they were going to acknowledge this as the last episode but they made it special. They did a lot of reflecting on how far they’d come and how the show seemed long and short at the same time. This was an hour long episode but they basically spent the entire time reading listener mail (which is my favorite part anyway). No games, no guests. Namikawa’s “kamu” corner got special background music for the first time. Most of the listener mail was people saying their goodbyes and being sad that the show was ending. 

At the end of the episode some staff person came into the studio to thank Namikawa and Saiga for their hardwork and to give them chocolate. Very cute. The depressing part is that both the hosts and the listeners were talking about “if season 2 happens...” which obviously never did. Pooor 07-Ghost :’( 

[bubblegumfiles]

Week 2 Food Diary/Workout Log

And other random thoughts

Day 8 - May 8, 2019

I left home hungry and felt like I was starving by the time I left work. I was very tempted to eat a spoonful of buttered white rice in the fridge even though I had a whole beets, black beans, and broccoli meal planned out in my head. But I didn’t. I chose not to. Instead, I ate a can of sardines and it’s quelled me significantly.

Made it to the gym. I chose to start with an arm day since I tend to be self conscious about my bat wings when I’m wearing short sleeves.

I did 30 lbs on the first three machines and 40 lbs on the last one, two rounds of 15,10,10 reps on each with short breaks between each set. I didn’t break a sweat anywhere except a light misting of perspiration on my neck, which is very unusual for me. I sweat easily. Maybe I didn’t challenge myself enough? Come to think of it, there wasn’t much burn either. Perhaps by some blessed miracle or cosmic joke there is some strength under all this flab. If I am not sore tomorrow, I will increase the number of reps. If I am, I’ll repeat the same thing again. Not too shabby for the first day in the gym.

2 cups of broccoli, 1 cup of beets, and 1/2 cup of black beans was the next meal. Or the only meal so far I suppose. The thing is I am hungry but I’m also a bit irritated so I don’t feel like doing anything, especially not cooking. My family is eating differently and the smell of hamburger meat is permeating the house right now, but I don’t feel tempted to eat it, even with being hungry. I think I feel let down because my mom said we’d go walking together at 6 and I was genuinely looking forward to going. If I’d known she’d change her mind, I would have gone earlier or gotten some cardio in at the gym this morning. Today is my dad’s birthday and I think mama thought we’d go out to eat today. She seems kinda tired though. I’m taking daddy out on Saturday but the place I’m taking him doesn’t have healthy options so I’m just going to eat at home first. I’m feeling sleepy and irritable even though I slept roughly 6 hours, give or take. I’m sitting at 419 on the calorie intake so maybe that’s why I’m feeling a bit frustrated and sleepy. Add that to disappointment and I guess I get where my mood is stemming from. I don’t want to be too hungry at work but it looks like I might end up that way. It’s the stupid anxiety again.

After a nap I felt a little less anxious and by the time I got to the parking lot at work and ate some beans, beets, and a few pineapple chunks, I was feeling better. By the time work is over, it’ll be another day survived. That sounds super good to me.

Day 9 - May 9, 2019

Saw Auntie Sherion at work and she gave me an apple and when I got to the car I chugged some water and had a few more pineapple chunks. The water distended my stomach enough to not feel super hungry during the drive home, which was lovely.

Threw all of these lovely things in a skillet and hit it with some paprika, black pepper, a little sea salt, a little parsley (I have no idea what this actually goes on), and a tablespoon of teriyaki sauce. Did I mention I’m not a cook? I’m sure it’s obvious to my tastebuds. I overdid it on the pepper. I also over cooked the vegetables which made me a bit sad but whatever. There’s always next time. A serving size of cashews did manage to improve my mood though.

Made it to the gym later than I wanted since it was raining when I got off work but I made it. Did 45 minutes on the treadmill at 3.1 speed and between 2.5 and 3 incline. I wanted to do more but Tiff was in distress and while it was easy to hold the phone and walk on the treadmill, I couldn’t do it with the weights so I called it a day. I still felt satisfied because I made it though.

My last meal of the day was really satisfying. 2 red potatoes, broccoli and sardines. Even though I ended up hungry about 2.5 hours later, it was nice not to feel that odd teeny tiny ghost of hunger immediately after a meal that tends to happen continuously these days. I’m not sure if it’s because of the calorie deficit or if it’s because I’m still not getting enough nutrients. Guess I’ll have to look into it later.

Day 10 - May 10, 2019

I ate 2 jolly rancher hard candies at work. When I got home I had eggs, broccoli, and cucumber and tomato.

Did an hour at the gym by accident, which really tickled me. Repeated the same arm exercises from Day 8 (reps and weight included) and decided to get on the treadmill since my feet didn’t hurt. For 15 minutes I did 3.0 incline at 3.0 pace, 15 more minutes and no incline at 3.0 pace, and a 5 minute cool down. I’m starting to believe my theory about healthy food and my brain is right because when I walked in the gym, I felt anxious and embarrassed because there were people there (didn’t expect that) but I was able to regulate my feelings and redirect my focus, so much so that I ended up staying longer than intended! It felt nice to be able to self soothe in a positive way.

Also...I have ankles?!?! Apparently I hold fluid there and have been my whole existence only to find out after attempting to stay properly hydrated that I don’t just go from leg to foot. Who knew? 😳

Next was brown rice, quinoa, sweet peppers and onion. I love eating this. It’s tasty and if I drink enough water with it, it takes away the hungry feeling for a little while.

Some things that are worthy of note: I finally drank a gallon of water in a day and I went to a prom send off with yummy food and stuck to eating fruits and veggies! Omg it smelled to lovely but I know what I want for my mind. The bit that the fog has lifted has provided tremendous relief without the weird emotional blockage that I felt with my medication. Because I’m still feeling the emotions, but it’s like now my brain has the ability to reframe it and the energy to process it. That’s the best way to describe it. It feels...amazing.

Day 11 - May 11, 2019

Had 3 grapes at work. They were so juicy!! Got home and made oatmeal and eggs. No fruit in the oatmeal this time but it did have honey and cinnamon. Also ended up eating a can of sardines too.

I woke up really hungry and decided on a Subway salad but was only a few bites in when it was time to go to daddy’s birthday lunch at Bluff City Crab. Their food is amazing so I may sit in the car to finish my salad before being tempted by the deliciousness. It’s seafood, sure, but how do I calculate the calories in the butter and secret seasonings and sauces or whatever? What if I go overboard on eating but undershoot the calorie intake? I don’t wanna risk it.

Snacked on an apple and it didn’t make my heart start fluttering. Had rice and sardines as the last meal.

No exercise today. I think I feel bad about it. I feel bad in general. Like I wanna cry bad. Not only did I not exercise but today I think I let myself get too hungry so I’m cranky. The biggest reason I didn’t get to exercise is because my free time went to other people. At the time it felt nice to give it but in retrospect maybe I shouldn’t have? I don’t know. I tasted a spoonful of rotel dip but ended up spitting the meat out. I even popped a mini snickers open and started chewing it but it tasted funny so I spit all of it out too. I’d like some different foods now I guess, but I can’t tell if I genuinely want it or I want it because I feel stressed all of a sudden. Holidays do that to me, especially when I’m not sure my mom will like her gift. We’re also supposed to go out to eat at Chow Time for Mother’s Day tomorrow. They have vegetables that I can eat but I really don’t want to go. I guess I’m tired of going out somewhere that has different food options from what I’m choosing to eat right now and not having a good vegetable option to choose from but spending my money on it anyway. I don’t have that problem if I’m not social or when I keep to myself. Only when I try to interact with people more. Every time I end up cutting a piece of my desires to please someone else.

I felt ugly today too. Like the gross kind. That’s when I lost my footing on my emotional state. Right now I want to go have some rotel and Doritos. Should I? Will I binge later if I don’t? Will I fall off the wagon and go back to eating the way I used to if I do? I wish the gym hadn’t closed early without notice. That was the beginning of the emotional spiral. I’d given to everyone else all morning but the moment I went to give something to myself, I wasn’t able. And now I feel a little low. *sigh*

Day 12 - May 12, 2019

Today I ate an unmeasured amount of white rice (probably about 2 serving sizes worth), a can of sardines, and a fourth of a red circle b smoked sausage. Didn’t care for the meat much. No gym again.

Day 13 - May 13, 2019

No food. Went to the gym at 5 A.M. and did 45 minutes on the treadmill. I alternated between 3.0 incline/3.0 speed and 0.0 incline/3.3 speed. Felt relaxed and mellow afterward which was lovely. Also got a gallon of water down.

Day 14 - May 14, 2019

No food. Did some exercise before work. Arms and treadmill on the hills setting. According to the machine I burned 407 calories in 45 minutes. Did another gallon. I feel like I need more water though.

[randrvstheworld]

Welcome to cowboy country

So yesterday involved nought but a dreary & rainy bu trip to Salento, which took not the two hour advertised but SIX GODDAMN HOURS. All these long bus journeys are playing absolute havoc with my messed up knee. I am glad I am the kind of person that can fall asleep on busses BUT the downside of that is I wake up with excruciating leg pain from lack of movement. Gotta just power through & get it all checked out when I’m home. Looking like that might not be too far away as the funds are dwindling rapidly (sadface). 

We’ve teamed up with Linzee & Lucy from our hostel in Cali so we went out for dinner with them last night at a place all decorated with cowboy stuff which I assumed was just a gimmick but it seems Salento is fully cowboy countryside, Colombia. It’s a tiny town surrounded by miles & miles of farmland, mountains, & coffee plantations. There are more horses on the roads than cars. The views from our hostel are pretty epic, so much greenery. The weather here is pretty chilly after the sun goes down. Suddenly wish I had a wider selection of warmer clothes but simultaneously chuffed & amazed that I have not needed them until now - it’s OCTOBER!! And it was still so sunny today that I was roasting in a sports bra & leggings!!

We made a mission to an organic coffee farm today for a little tour - much like Sam’s farm, this is a place run by a very small team & everything is done by hand - no chemicals, no industrial machinery, just old-skool coffee making. Very interesting stuff - they use avocado trees to shade the coffee plants & also so the avocados can fertilise the soil which almost made me sob to see all these sad avo’s just rotting away on the ground, never to fulfil their delicious avo toast destinies. Lots of fruits are grown on the coffee farm to distract the birds & insects from eating the coffee beans. Also lots of beautiful flowers so hummingbirds will come & help pollinate stuff. Circle of life & all that. 

I tasted a freshly popped coffee bean which is covered in a sweet sticky honey when it comes out of its little shell, & is pale greenish in colour. After that, they’re washed & stirred & stirred & washed in a big tub of water until all the sticky honey comes off. Step 3 is drying them out either on a rooftop (which is a bit risky as they have to be covered instantly at the first drop of rain) or in a greenhouse. When they’re good & dry they get roasted until they turn the beautiful dark brown & shiny colour you are used to seeing. I honestly had no idea that they didn’t pop out of their little pods this way & suddenly realised this is what people mean by ‘medium roast’ etc which made me feel pretty dumb but you just don’t question where your food comes from when you can just buy everything at Sainsburys (also I never drank coffee before this trip so it wasn’t necessarily at the forefront of my mind). THEN the beans get ground to make coffee - I got to grind a batch myself which we then drank, & it was delicious, clearly down to my finesse at grinding up them beans (lol, not). 

On our way back from the coffee farm tour we saw a sign advertising delicious Colombian food & free games of Tejo (which we had read about & wanted to try) so we dusted down a little dirt road to a sort-of restaurant/sort-of bar/some peoples’ family home & had what felt like a very authentic local experience; we got yummy home-cooked food (very gratefully received as I’d been kinda sick the night before & then slept super badly because of stomach pain & weird nightmares so I hadn’t eaten breakfast), a couple beers & played Tejo with a super sweet 12 year old kid called Felipe. The game is kiiiiinda like Aunt Sally in that involves throwing this heavy disk thing to but instead of knocking a ball off a pole you’re trying to smash these little ceramic triangles. It was super fun even though we utterly sucked at it - Felipe schooled us so hard. He was literally the cutest little dude ever. The family owned a bunch of horses so after lunch he saddled one of them up & took us for little rides up & down the drive. Then we played the most ridiculous game of pool ever because the table was on a really uneven floor so regardless of our pool skills (which are minimal in the first place) all the balls kept rolling into the corner anyway. It was so fun; it felt like just being at someone’s house as opposed to a restaurant, we were the only people there & the family we so so hospitable it was very sweet. 

This evening has been spent watching Colombia qualify for the 2018 world cup, which was actually pretty cool as football is HUGE here & everyone gets really into it. I’m now wrapped in a blanket writing this from our hostel room -  the rest of the gals went out for dinner but I’m still feeling a bit ropey so I decided to bow out this evening. Tomorrow we’re off on an all day trek so I’m hoping to catch up on some of the sleep I missed last night so I’m nice & ready to destroy my body all over again… at least in a good way this time. 

Only a week left in Colombia which I’m really sad about because this has really been my favourite place so far, helped surely by the fact that we’ve had such a long time here to explore it & travel around. Excited to link up with Gabby again though in Ecuador, & then VERY excited that my oldest & bestest bestie Hannah has just booked a flight to come join us in Brazil in December & January. Woot!