#at least loading still takes 20 min

[mittiinmiraland]

The game felt so much stabler with the Wishing Season update, so I'm a bit upset that v.1.2 feels just as unstable as v.1.0 :/

[pspkisser]

⚙️ This laptop was saved from obsolescence! [10 mins of read]

Hello!! i am making this post here to raise awareness for PC and laptop upgrades, and how it should motivate you to do that same thing to preserve yours for longer or to give it the power you need! this will feature my history with mine, as well as the steps i took to be able to make him breathe life better! this is the story of his journey, and how it went to this current day.

his name is samuel, he is an asus fx570u and i bought him back in september of 2018 after i turned 13! he was brand new during that time and priced at 800 euros, offering only 6 gb of memory and an HDD as his specs. however he does have an 8th gen core i5 as his cpu and a geforce 1050 ti for his gpu. for something marketed as a gaming pc, it's pretty low and it wouldn't allow him to run fast enough, especially for highly demanding software and causing some compatibility issues. it wasn't severe, but as i was stuck with an hdd, that meant operating systems would run pretty slow on it, also leading to long software loading times. this is made worse by the fact that its bundled system, windows 10, isn't designed to work efficiently on hdd in the first place, but at least that means i have my hands on a windows key to be able to use some windows exclusive programs..

i mainly used him to be able to use advanced video editing software and customize the games i have on it for my own taste, because back then i loved making youtube videos and it was a passion i've had for years until i've partially retired from it. i rarely bought games on it and instead opted for free-to-plays, and overall had a good time with him.

unfortunately within only 3 months, his HDD broke down and i sent him to technicians for them to replace it with another one. it was a minor accident i've had but it formatted all my data, even though it didn't matter much since i uploaded most of it to the internet. i just had to be gentle with him by trying to not moving him around too much to stop that issue from persisting... but it was still low-end in terms of system performance. i finally used him for 1 year straight before moving on to a tower pc, feeling tired about his slowness and believing i couldn't do much about it.

i used that other (unnamed) pc for almost a year, starting from 2020! they seemed to work better since it had windows 7, but embarrassingly enough that version itself stopped receiving official security updates months before i started using it, even though i was careful while accessing the internet with it. its performances were also low, but didn't really matter much since i didn't take so much advantage from the power of samuel. suddenly, i had the foolish idea of installing windows 8.1 on the latter to try to deal with the performance issues on 10, but it led to even more compatibility issues since the drivers i used were meant to be for 10 only. only by early 2021, i got win10 back on him and started using him again to get more power again.

so the low-end performance persisted for very long. back then i never knew how to upgrade pcs, so i was only used to replacing devices with others which wasn't cost-efficient. after realizing i used windows for well over 10 years, i had the idea of switching to a mac and as a result, for xmas 2021 i got myself a cute yellow silicon imac, who goes by the name of sarah! but switching to macos posed new serious challenges, such as getting used to the lack of windows compatibility and the missing features that i was used to for a long time. most of the creativity i did with her was drawings with firealpaca and krita, and cgi with blender, which wasn't really much. still, she is pretty glossy and also powerful for many of the tasks i'm performing with her. originally i also intended to sell samuel, but that never happened (i low regret that decision so much i swear).

in late 2022, samuel's performance apparently had had a big hit... he now takes approximately 20 seconds to open any program and it seemed to me like something was wrong with him. at that time i also gained interest in linux since it's a libre OS capable of much more flexibility, essentially allowing it to revive old PCs. i finally decided to get linux mint to work on him via a dual boot with win11 (what was i thinking when i "upgraded" him from 10?). the performance seemed a little better from then, but programs still took very long to open. for that reason, he had often been collecting dust as he finally became unusable.

finally we've reached 2023. this is the year i decided to take on tearing down devices to learn how to examine problems inside of them. after checking samuel's performance again, i noticed that his HDD was having extremely low writing and reading speeds compared to my tower, which made me feel disappointed. but that's when i finally decided i could be able to replace his hard disk with an ssd, a new generation which is more durable, faster, quieter and energy-efficient...

but i still had a good wait until it was possible. suddenly with my money, i found an ssd which only costed €30, and it made me happy that this would be a quick way of healing up samuel! so i rushed to get it, and finally opened him to prepare everything... unfortunately, his keyboard has to be lifted up in the process, and there are flex cables connected between it and the motherboard. but taking out the hard disk thankfully only requires a few steps; removing some screws, then inserting the SSD inside of it. after that i quickly put linux mint back into him. SO SPLENDID...

for only the price of a high budget indie game, now he can open programs very fast, close to how fast sarah can do, and just about any task works perfectly well on him with way less bugs! thanks to that fast upgrade he's become viable for daily drives again, even though i don't have other desks suitable for pcs which makes me less motivated to use him. really wish id be able to since the architecture he has (x64) means he has a lot more software he's able to handle natively...

but then, i hadn't upgraded his ram. i said before that he only had 6 gb of it, and that meant he could only work with a few programs before becoming bloated. and as i like doing power tasks on him, that obviously causes problems. so one day, i went to a pc part store out of curiosity, and became shocked when i found small ram carts that could be compatible with my laptop. after some talk with the seller, i bought 2 ddr4 carts each containing 8 gb and clocked at 2666 mhz, more than double of what i used to have. after that it was time to take on a challenge to be able to insert them myself.

when the seller asked me if i needed assistance to have the carts inserted into my laptop, i giggled internally because of my past stories with learning how to open devices and trying to troubleshoot or modify them internally. i obviously declined it which saved me money, but also meant i had to do it all myself. after an hour of painful manipulations which required me to take out the entire motherboard from samuel, while that next step was also difficult i was finally able to insert the carts into it, before placing all his components back into place. and after such a long time of waiting...

i've finally done it!

Samuel is feeling very well right now!! despite his cpu and gpu dating from over 5 years, now he can do even more tasks at a time, while also being able to read them faster, a massive improvement compared to when it was stuck with an hdd and only 6 gb of ram. i'm guessing those low specs were for the purpose of saving manufacturing costs, but until you'd find use for the components that you'd remove, they'd end up becoming waste. and with a free os like linux mint, it adds up to an even more optimized experience than windows 10, which comes with so many unwanted stuff and can't be customized very well.

have you had a similar story to mine? did that pose you challenges? i took over 40 minutes to write this entire piece of text, but it should at least be very well detailed! on the best case scenario i hope it would inspire others to do some research on upgrading PCs to preserve their lives and especially save costs. Thank you for reading the entirety of it, don't hesitate reblogging it if you think it would interest your own audience! peace for all of you 💙

[cookie-crumblr]

Sugar

Part 2~

F!READER X PROFESSOR OC

His Info: 📔✨

part 1 2

!!MINORS DNI!!

CW: F! READER/READER HAS A VAGINA, swearing, gendered speech toward reader (LOTS of good girl), massive praise kink, spanking, imbalanced power dynamic(teacher/student), age gap, vaginal intercourse, creampie, not proof read

!!MINORS DNI!!

AN: i’m so sorry this took so long, i went through it for a min… i hope it’s still good! 🫣✨ enjoy!

~

“What the fuck?!”

“Yeah i know right?!” You said back into the phone.

“You said no tho, right?” Your best friend asked.

“…” You swallowed.

“Y/N! You said yes?! my creepo meter is seriously going off! just please say you’re sick or somethin’ on that day!” They exclaimed, practically begging.

“…”

“Y/N” they say in a motherly/fatherly tone. “You’ll tell them you can’t right?”

“O-oh! look at the time! the Griswolds downstairs made pot roast today! gotta go!”

“Y/N!!!!!—” You hang up…

“fuck…” If their alarm bells are also going off you know you should be worried… But…

You’re just not.

You fall back into your double bed, and let your phone fall out of your hand.

You can’t help it.

He turns you on…

Especially after yesterday…

You can still feel his hand ghosting over your collar bone.

A shudder passes through you again.

“Thum-Thump Thum-Thump” Your heart pounds in your head. You try to swallow but choke.

You take a second to quickly and quietly compose yourself before bringing your hand up to the intricately carved door…

The place is… immaculate. To sell it short.

Your professor must be absolutely loaded to have such an estate. You feel like you have the wrong address… But the gates opened right up when you walked toward them.

You knock once and a professional looking man answers the door.

“Master Reichsgraf!” He calls while ushering you in, taking any extra things you may be carrying to hang them in a wardrobe. “Your honored guest has arrived!”

Well… It’s the right place. You swallow hard again.

“Welcome, welcome!” he descends the large carved wooden twin staircase with an air of refinery you’ve never seen in him.

“i’m sorry my darling… there will be an… unexpected visitor tonight. She won’t be bothering us for long however.”

He leads you around the main parts of the estate for a grand tour, keeping it sufficiently entertaining, you manage to almost relax in his presence.

Grand doors, as large and as ornate as the entrance open before you, revealing a table long enough to fit at least 20 people!

“oh my-“ you’re cut off.

“i see you finally stopped dating women older than our mother, feefee.” She drew out the nickname at the end mockingly. “Though, she’s a lil rough around the edges… hmm” she hums dissatisfied.

You shrink under her tigress gaze.

Your professor leads you gently by the elbow to your seat near the head of the table.

She yoinks the fancy looking bottle of wine from in front of you, “Hmm,” she spends a second inspecting the label “You actually want to impress this girl I see. It’s a good vintage.”

“Shelly, your bottle is still in the rack” he motions toward the smaller door located toward the middle of the room.

She lazily plops the bottle back down in front of you. “Thanks Feefee,” she spins holding the doorframe and looking back still only acknowledging him, “Mother told me she’s coming back.” her mocking tone of earlier was replaced with a jarringly serious one.

“I know.” He looks over the table, and his unreadable eyes land on the wine.

She closes the door behind her.

“ah, darling,” he’s back to a cheerfully elegant disposition, “Sheila won’t be bothering us again tonight, she just wanted to greet us before moving to the guest wing. Now that that’s done, let me open the bottle!”

“Please, Y/N tell me more about yourself…”

You’ve been talking non-stop about everything and anything. He’s been nothing short of attentive…

in fact, he’s been almost too attentive.

While you speak he frequently sighs wistfully as if he is remembering event of your life with you.

“Why?” You speak barley above a whisper.

“What was that, darling?” he cocks his head.

“why me?” You let the question that’s been burning on your mind slip.

“why you indeed…” he sighs wistfully, “i wish i could give you an appropriate answer, darling.”

“then why should i believe in you? or in any of this?” you motion to your surroundings.

“darling, my infatuation may be simple at face value, but I assure you it is depthless. nothing i could tell you could possibly bring the right words forth to explain it properly.”

Your cheeks darken a shade… You didn’t expect him to feel so serious about you…

“Why don’t we play a game?” he stands.

“o-kay”

“Good girl~” he hummed. He pulls you away from the table and reaches around you to clear a space.

He takes your hand and helps you onto the table.

“Here,” He fills your wine glass to the brim, and hands it to you. he leans into your ear, “Don’t spill this,” he plants an open mouth kiss to your neck.

“Ah!” you jump and spill wine onto your chest.

“Tsk, already? I just said don’t spill it…” he didn’t sound disappointed, instead his voice sounds much hungrier, as he plants more and more kisses against your neck. Your professors hands now traveling up your body.

You feel him pull the sleeves of your dress down your arms, exposing your top half.

you’re squeezing the glass between your bosom, your eyes are shut tight and your breathing is haggard.

His tongue finds your perked up bud and he starts to lick light swirls around it. His fingers on your other one mirroring the movement between pinches.

The heat inside you is becoming unbearable, you lean back and spill more wine on yourself, it’s cold as it’s seeping into your panties.

“mmm” you moan, his free hand caresses up your leg all the way to your sex. His fingers tease you through the fabric barrier while his thumb supplies ample pressure to your clit.

“Looks like you need to be punished. You spilled so much wine,” He smiles, and takes the glass, then sets it down on the table beside you.

“p-punished?” You squeak.

First, he starts to remove his suit jacket, then his tie, finally onto his button up shirt.

“what kind of professor would i be if i didn’t teach you new things?” He licks his lips, “flip over.” He commands.

He steps back just barely enough to give you room to move.

Shoes gently click against the wood floor as you slip down off the table.

“Such a good girl…” He hums in approval, “But, even good girls make mistakes.” His hands lightly travel downward, tickling the backs of your legs. “We must always learn to correct them.”

Hands rake back up to your bottom, stopping before falling off of you, all to come back with a sharp *Slap!* You gasp.

Open palmed hands caress you as he pulls your skirt up, setting the bunched up fabric on your lower back.

He applies more consistent pressure, kneading circles into your soft flesh with his thumbs. You moan.

“What are we going to do?” he asks.

“About what?”

*Smack!*

“Not the answer I’m looking for, and I know you can do this. What do we do when we make mistakes?” He asks a slightly different question.

“I…Don’t know-I”

*Smack!*

“Incorrect again. It’s okay, that’s what i’m here for. To help you learn. Now, What do we do when we make mistakes?”

“We f-fix them?”

You flinch. but no slap comes.

“My good girl, i’m so proud of you. We fix them, correct, darling.” He gently massages the tender area of skin on your rump.

Making him pleased with you is making the heat really build back up between your thighs.

You really are such a good girl.

Your eyes sting… Has anyone been proud of you before?

“Oh my! my, my, my, good girl.” absolute awe drips from his voice, sticky and sweet like honey.

Your body is shaking with anticipation. “I-I am!” you say excitedly. If you had a tail it would be wagging.

“Yes! You are! Now that we’ve properly punished you and corrected your mistake, what do we do with this? hmm?” Fingers gently kiss your opening.

Your legs spread on their own, and you whimper.

“What would you like, darling?” he leans over you, his voice in your ear and his hard bulge prodding against you.

“would you p-put it in me?” You pause to swallow hard, “P-please”

“Since you did such a good job today, I think i will, Y/N.” He puts his hand on top of your head, and you feel compelled to rub against it.

You are unaware the effect this has on him, his heart pounds for you.

A gentle caress under your chin is all it takes him to lure your face to his.

Lips press to yours, and a tongue soon gently pokes and asks for entry.

Like lava you melt in a dizzying amount of pleasure.

You don’t even notice him lining up with you until he’s sliding forward and back between your folds.

“Ahh!”

With the kiss broken, your eyes roll back forward.

Such a hot thing down there teasing your entrance before sliding over your clit.

It’s burning you up.

A hand hooks under your leg from behind the knee and lifts it onto the table.

His long cock slides with more pressure now on the way back to your entrance.

You bite your lip, the knot in your core tightening.

Pressure and anticipation align with the plush head pushing open your hole until-

*POP*

He’s in.

You sigh out all your air, a shuddering moan escaping with it all.

“O-Oh,” as your breathing out, he pushes further in.

“You’re such a good girl, opening up for me,” He pats your head again.

Whimpers fall from your lips as he’s slowly stretching and cooing you.

“You’re doing so well, darling.”

He’s so proud of you, truly, he’s in awe. Your pussy squeezes him with every praise he caresses your mind with.

Soon he’s bottomed out, the way that your legs are grants him access to the deepest parts of you.

It’s hard to breathe, he’s so long, so warm you strain out a small moan.

Slowly, he pulls back out and you can breathe again.

Hips press back against your ass, and air escapes your lungs.

He’s pulling out and pushing back in, and the intense stretch soon makes way for pleasure, and as soon as your moans fall more freer, he knows.

Picking up some speed but still he manages to fuck you languidly, his dick feels like it goes on forever inside you. It’s so impossibly long.

and he really knows how to use it.

As he pushes in he pushes down, and as he pulls out he pushes up. Every millimeter of your insides rubbed by his burning dick.

You feel on fire, your leg is unsteady on the ground, and your toes are tingling.

A hand pats your head and you come out of your already dazed state, “hmmm?”

“You really are my perfect girl,” he coos.

You tighten, the sensation of holding him in place feels so good, a moan leaves you weakly.

He forces himself in deeper, and manages to pull out.

a puff of air near your ear makes you shudder, “such a perfectly good girl, squeezing me in so tightly,” he groans.

You bite your lip.

“Do you want my cum inside you that badly?”

You nod.

He manages to flip you over on the table without fully separating from you, now you sit on the edge, your legs bent and spread for him. You feel more exposed now and a little shy…

“perfect girl,” his fingers find your clit and start to rub vigorously, as he pushes as far in as he can.

You feel so hot.

You forget your worries and let go.

Your arms wobble and strain to hold you up.

Soon after your core is ready to pop,

whimpers and gasps fall from your pretty lips.

He starts thrusting again and you snap, falling back onto the table.

Wine spills into your hair now, but you don’t care.

He uses your spent body as a flesh light to finish and soon your next orgasm is building again.

You reach down to grab him for purchase, your body and the table bouncing.

Your moans turn to almost panicked screams, you’re so sensitive.

“P-please!”

He speeds up, his hips slapping you, and his fingers start spinning on you again.

Stars interrupt your eyes.

One last slam inside you and you feel hot ropes spill inside you.

Such fullness that you’ve only ever dreamed of sends you into euphoria.

You squeeze harder, milking him for all he’s worth.

Your body is so hot you cum with crashing force and pry his still vigorously moving hand off of you.

He’s smiling at you, and relents.

“can i pull out now?”

You’re out of breath, and your voice falls weakly, “okay…”

cum spills onto the table edge as he does, his softening dick feels like it takes forever to pull out of you fully. a moan escapes you again as he passes over those sensitive spots one last time, making your legs twitch and bounce.

Clinking and shuffling of fine chinas is heard, and the rumble of your professor climbing onto the table next to you surrounds you as you’re catching your breath.

After he’s joined you, he cups your face in his big hand and you turn to nuzzle into it, practically purring.

To him you might as well be.

His warmth finds the rest of your body and covers you easily.

Eventually he slides off softly, and carries your sleepy form wrapped in the table cloth for temporary warmth, to his chambers to retire until the morning.

“Precious girl” his whisper enters your sleep addled brain gently, you smile feeling perfectly warm and content.

[tragedry]

I CALL WILDCARD, EVERYTHING IS YOUR CHOICE, RAMBLE MY FRIEND

i will in fact indulge in the rambling anon, thanks!

let's do ashler plus a bunch of random questions cause i cannot be stopped now that i have an excuse to yap about my two pookies!! >:3

3. Are they into PDA? Who initiates most?

nope, but in the times where they're both fine with skin contact, ty would be the one to initiate it most of the time. it would usually be simple touches like holding ashlyn's hand or grazing his knuckle on her arm or face. he also ruffles her hair when he can get away with it!

7. Who's clumsier?

ashlyn, but only when her thought's are pretty loud and she's too distracted to pay attention to where she's walking. thankfully, ty's there to stop her from walking straight to a post.

8. Who is a morning person? Who is a night owl?

ty rises with the sun while ashlyn rises with the moon! this is literally how their morning starts lmao

(i may have spent more than five mins making this meme)

17. Who is more competitive?

both are insanely competitive! they will compete at just about anything they think the other would suck at (but it's all in good fun, plus the winner gets to tell the loser what to do afterwards)

19. What do they fight about most often? (Alternative: what was their biggest fight?)

Alternative: their biggest fight was when ashlyn couldn't stop feeling guilty for what had happened to tyler, so whenever they're in a dangerous situation, she'd take unnecessary risks in order to save him. tyler caller her out for being too reckless, and the argument only intensifies when ashlyn tries to justify her actions.

the argument goes on for a while until ty's managed to for her hand and she finally admits why she's so reckless and desperate to put her own life in danger-- and it's solely cause she didn't want to see him hurt ever again. and ty isn't necessarily comforted by her answer, bc he isn't used to being the one on the receiving end of someone else's sacrifice, but at least he knows now why she did what she did.

in the end, they'll talk it out and find a way to resolve the issue together.

20. Who randomly brings home a stray puppy/kitten to adopt?

ashlyn, but only to nurse the stray back to full health, and then she and tyler will take it to a shelter for adoption.

but it's all good until ashlyn gets too attached to a stray puppy they found one afternoon.......

22. Love languages? How do they get around differences, if any?

'acts of service' is practically hanging above both of their heads asfkhaflash

actions have always spoken louder for them when it comes to professing their affection! a home cooked meal left in ashlyn's fridge when she's too tired to make anything herself, or tyler waking up to find the dishes he still left at the sink already washed and put away.

they will always take each other's load if they can, because it may be heavy, but they are worth it.

24. Sleeping/cuddling positions? (Big spoon, little spoon, etc.)?

ashlyn is little spoon, but it takes a lot of grumbling on her part to finally accept such a role.

39. Do they get along with the other's family? If not, how do they deal with the other's family?

ash and tay are besties through and through, and mariana is very fond of her!

ty is practically the golden boy(friend) in ash's house. he's responsible, no nonesesne when it comes to dating her, and he is always so helpful around the house, and would always visit with a flower for emma and a polite greeting to mike.

plus he cooks!!!

(i think that's it for the otp ask game! thank you all for sending me your ships and asks!)

[simp4konig]

Hii! So I’m new in the Call of Duty fandom but I don’t play the games like on the ps5, etc… I only play Call of Duty on my phone and I got addicted and began digging deeper so here I am! Since I don’t/can’t play the different games of cod do you recommend any channels on youtube that does an amazing walkthrough of the games? I really really want to watch some walkthroughs but I don’t know whats the order of watching each game?? Does each game connect to each other? I’m still kind of confused since I’m still new😅😅. I’m sorry to disturb you though but I hope you can help me😭

To summarise before I go on a useless tangent and ramble needlessly, here are short answers for your questions:

Yes, the games are related. Modern Warfare 1+2+3 are chronological, and are the same story with the same characters. Similarly, it is widely believed that the Black Ops series + Cold War take place in the same timeline as Modern Warfare. I know for certain that Cold War is connected to MWI+II+III because Captain Price is a playable character in multiplayer, and the Black Ops series mention the same villains.

There is no particular chronological order in terms of a greater narrative, however, if you want to understand the story of Modern Warfare, watch walkthroughs of MWI, MWII, and finally MWIII. Black Ops has its own series so if you want to watch those too, you can, however you won't be missing major plot points in Modern Warfare if you choose not to. Cold War is in the same timeline as Modern Warfare, but you won't be missing major plot points in Modern Warfare either if you choose not to.

My advice: Watch game walkthroughs (I would recommend at least once, even in 2x speed, just so you know the general gist of the lore).

Watch COD compilations (trust me, there's LOADS) that are 10–20 mins long, and feature the most iconic scenes in the game back-to-back so you aren't missing anything

Dont resd this if you dont want to!!!vvv it's long and its just me sympathising with you becsude im in the same situation 💀💀... Vvvvvvv

... LMAO IM THE WORWT PERWON TO ASK BECUASE I CANT PLAY THE GAMES EITHER DJDJDJDJDJSJSJSJSJJSJS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Played MW and MWII, theold versions only💔And i DONT hsve a PS5 EITHER so i csnt play the remasyers/reimagines, neithet can my parents justify buying the games just to hage a 100gb game on our PS4😫😫 were in this together anon,... 😓

I mostly have been going on youtube and tyoing out "MW 2019 walkthrough" and "MW2 2022 walkthrough" to see wheyher the plot has chsnged so i can keep up to daye and understand whay the fandom is on about !! Since ive plaued the older remasters , i watch these in like 1.75 speed or even just skip parts bc i already kniw what's gonna haooen mostly 😙✌️ but any scenes that im like "WOAH wtf is this i dint rmeebrt this happening🤨" I watch them 10–20min compilations of certain charwcyer moments 😌 Because i honestlu do NOT hsve the time to watch a whole ass 9–12h video in multiple sittings, i have homework and studyijg to be doing‼️‼️

And fir my headcannond/fanfictions , "[insert character here] voicelines" so i can understand the characyer thru their voicelines (like König and Krueger), as well as seeing their skins and backstories on theit respevtive wikis, googling their respectivr countries, ajd builfing my vision of these by also reading OTHER people's headcannons/fanfictions !! If you were to resd my oldest works, youd see thay my König was the fanon König, but as ivr gotten more used to writing him and changing my perception of his character+personality, you can tell how how i write for him has slowly developed 🙌

i feel like a hypocritetelling u to watch MWIII tho because neitjer have i plaued it NOR watched a walkthru bc my fav characters DIE and i dont wanna put myself thru that just yet😇 obviously, with MWIII remaster here, i think ill hage to soon ....

Im honoufed u chode yo ask ME of sll people !!☺️❤️❤️❤️... So im sorfy i couldnt be more useful ☹️💔💔💔

[whentherewerebicycles]

gooood morning! no work today but I do have a meeting at 11. the boy escaped his swaddle at 5:30am and had a BIG shriek about it but I got him tucked back in and he slept until 7:15. he was less talkative this morning than yesterday but very cuddly :) I think our big outing today will be driving into town to hang out with my sister. here’s the day:

7-8:30 morning routine

8:30-9:30 lounge and read in bed

9:30-10 shower/get ready

10-11 wash out bottles, clean up kitchen, load dishwasher, take down laundry

11-12 legal mtg (the baby will probably wake up 15 min into this so I need to either wake him up early or have his bottle ready to go so I can transition him quickly)

12-1ish walk the dogs & make quick lunch

afternoon: hang out with my sister! maybe take the stroller so we can walk? tbd. my back is still hurting when I carry him in the carrier.

evening: spend at least 20 min working on this music. I’m nervous I won’t be ready ugh

[metaltea]

x

I feel pretty close to doing it ngl. Today was... horrible. Is. It's only 2pm now. Who knows what else could happen between now and tomorrow.

I've been so on edge, unable to calm myself down. On the verge of a panic attack constantly, then having a small one for like 30+ mins... I got my mom to come up here and spend some time w/ me but she was obviously distracted. We ended up talking while I drew, weighing options.

I need the fluid from my ears gone so my anxiety can finally begin to calm down. I can't go anywhere in the car though without having horrifically bad panic attacks, so I'm terrified of driving anywhere, and seeing how the nearest clinic is 30 mins?? Fuck that.

Wondering where I'm going to spend the winter... or even the next month. I should probably be in a mental institution till they can figure out what tf is wrong with me and get me on the appropriate meds. The therapist yesterday said there's a possibility I have bipolar disorder, and that would explain why I feel so unbearably unstable if so. Again, though, the nearest would be at least a 40+ min drive. Wouldn't fix the ear issue.

I can't stay here in this camper bc it's not an all-season one. It's getting cold out, nearing October and I've barely able to comprehend it.

I can't stay in Virginia cause if I stayed with my sib again, well, they're planning to move to New York soon and they're taking the kittens with them ofc. And they seem much happier without me there. If I stay with my sister, she's busy with a job and 2 kids. I can't have one of my screaming panic attacks in front of them.

So yeah. I feel trapped. In my own head from the muffled hearing, in life since idk where I'm going to be in the next month or two, also just knowing nobody wants me around. I know my mom would be so much happier if I wasn't there, free to be with her husband and go about their daily lives without dealing with a load of baggage like me.

She snapped at me when I mentioned suicide and while I can understand why, it still hurt. She said she had a migraine and needed to leave so I'm alone again. Alone with crippling anxiety and racing thoughts. Alone without a solid ground to stand on. Alone without knowing where I'll end up in a month, knowing I'm unwanted to my whole family even if they reassure me, alone in knowing that if I do end up staying in an institution I'll have basically nothing to do but be completely alone with my thoughts around strangers who are possibly loud and/or aggressive. Alone. Just alone.

And yea, suicide is looking like more and more of a good plan. If I go through with it, I should do it here while I'm surrounded by all these guns. On the other hand, I'd have to go out in the woods where my mom wouldn't find me, at least not till I'm unrecognizable. On the other hand I keep telling myself this is temporary and eventually my hearing will come back, eventually I'll live somewhere where I'm wanted and don't have to worry about suddenly having the rug pulled from under my feet, but come on. I've been telling myself that since my friend left. It's been 3 months and it's only gotten worse. I'm worse off than ever. I need help and idk how to get it here. I'm in counselling, I have a doctor who can give me meds, but it's still somehow not enough. My mind keeps screaming out, demanding my attention, trying to protect me from what, suffocation? I know it's irrational but it's been plaguing my thoughts. And idk if therapy can help. Not in time, at least.

So yeah, I just keep telling myself things will get better, but I'm beginning to think that I'm just a horrible liar.

On something more positive I guess, I called the crisis line my therapist recommended and for once someone was there to talk me through a panic attack. The last time I called while I was in VA, they basically just said idk go to ER I guess?? But no the lady sat with me for like 20+ mins. I was still on the verge of a panic attack (and tbh still am) but idk it was nice. I've always heard panic attacks aren't "serious enough" for crisis lines but she said I could call anytime.

Cause like... the panic attacks I've been having aren't normal. They aren't the kind I'd be able to manage back in the day. They're all-consuming, they make me feel like I'm choking/going insane/passing out all at once, they make me scratch myself till I bleed, they make me scream. Maybe that is just bc my hearing is still muffled (and again idk how tf to deal with that) but yeah....

Having the weight of that looming over me with no end in sight also makes the idea of suicide look very pretty and convenient. It'd hurt, but just for a moment, not like these horrible long nights with racing thoughts, broken sleep full of nightmares, the choking feeling in my throat constant and unforgiving.

What do I still have to live for? Like 5 things idk. 1. guilt bc I'd feel bad about mom finding me since she's so sensitive. 2. OFMD s2, 3. Drawing??, 4. Finishing fics??? Idk., 5. I genuinely cannot find a 5th one and that scares me.

Zen, if you're still alive, congrats. You've done it. Your absence completely and utterly ruined my life. I will never be the same again.

My body is actively trying to kill me. I just wish it'd do it sooner, in one fell swoop, fucking give me a heart attack or something. I'm tired of the constant anxiety, the creeping depression, losing all interest and passion and the little things that make me...

yeah. I think I will. I just don't know what way I will. Or when. If life is worth living, then it better give me a fucking miracle real fucking soon. I can't take this anymore. I really can't. I want to get out, I want to get out, I want to get out. I'm tired, I'm aching, I'm scared, I'm guilty, I'm useless. I need help but there's none. Next therapy appointment isn't till monday and wtf are they going to do?? I need to be in an institution and the nearest one is so far away. I'm trapped. I need help. I need help. I need help. I need help. I need help. I need help.

But at the same time I don't want help. I've been asking for it so much, using people, and for what? I'm still going to go through with it. What's it matter?

Why help someone who's more or less already sealed their fate? Besides, it's not like I'll miss much. The world is getting worse and worse. Rights being taken away left and right. Why bother living?

[academiawho]

Hey, just a fellow neet 24 aspirant dropping by to check up on you after the whole debacle. How are you doing? It's honestly so unsettling and devastating. I used to go thru your blog everyday and you used to work so hard omg I truly wish you the best even if the govt fails us.

For me I had dreamt of being a doctor ever since middle school after I saw my grandpa pass away in front of my eyes however this whole scam made me give up on that dream. I don't even have the energy for a drop now. It genuinely sucks.

Also a rant about grace marks. Tell you what even I recieved my paper 20 mins late and you guessed it I didn't get any grace marks. Was it because I wasn't in any "special" centers or because I couldn't go to a court about it. Nta sucks. Hope things work out in your favour. We need hard working doctors like you not some rich dumb kids cuz in the end medical seats can be bought but not lives. Take care~~~

For context: I've been travelling today and when I got your ask, I have had checked the nta website for the new score card at least a hundred times. I'm so tired mentally and about to undermine my self-worth.

Then I get this ask. I open tumblr fully and read the message and almost heave a sigh of relief. This was so kind of you anon. I'm sorry you're in this boat with me. I too am losing the reasons how I would be able to do good by being a doctor. If all my positivity gets negated and is dumped upon by loads of corrupt shit, at the end of the day what will I be allowed to do, how could I serve the health of our society?

These have been my thoughts everyday, sadly.

The grace marks thing is such a farce just by the way they've announced it so "transparently". We still don't know the exact no. of people who've gotten, how many grace marks each of them have gotten, and if each of them have actually approached the court before the results.

Let's hope there's some change in this corruption.

Sending lots of love your way darling💛 sharing some of the little courage I have so that we all sincere students get through this storm

[sailsonthehorizon]

Calculating a 1:6 incline using pandas

And sharing my first attempt at an accessible short break.

Film photography disclaimer / confession: I did take my Pentax MV with a 36 exp roll of colour film. Am absolutely gutted as it was clearly loaded incorrectly - thankfully I did take a few - but not many - iPhone snaps so will be using these for this post. Onwards and sideways.

This is my first blog that addresses the subject of disability. I am a little nervous about sharing this — perhaps because I am still in denial that this is happening to me - but I have found similar blogs very helpful on a personal level. So, if for no other reason than it might help someone else, let’s give it a shot.

We travelled by train from Darlington up to Edinburgh, and the journey is now known as Hell on a Stick #1. I booked seats in Coach G, and whilst I was vaguely aware of an app called Passenger Assistance it didn’t occur to me to use it. I suppose like many in a similar position, I assumed that was for folks with poorer mobility. Forgetting I wasn’t exactly Tigger myself. 

Our train was PACKED, as the previous train was cancelled. No seats, no help, and no Coach G. We finally ended up on random seats separated from each other (after standing for 30 minutes, a mighty dang long time for me these days). Can’t help but think that if I’d used the app, I would have at least had some help in finding seats. Or lived somewhere with a decent public transport system. Helsinki please.

We arrived tired and hangry in a wet drizzly Edinburgh about 20 mins walk away from the hotel.

At Leonardo Hotel, Haymarket. Very helpful staff, and gave the scooter a parking space to save the kerfuffle of getting it in and out of the lift to get to the room.

The staff at the Leonardo Hotel couldn’t have been more helpful, and let us park scooter downstairs in the lobby to save me the extra energy getting it in/out of the lift. It’s a folding travel scooter, it’s light for what it is, but it is still heavy (especially when it’s your muscles that are the broken bits).

Very silly pain levels at this point - thanks to the gawd-awful train journey. Thankfully we live in the middle of nowhere, so an hotel room Just Eat was enough of a novelty to masquerade as an evening’s entertainment. Just for the record, the hotel is a mere 5 minute walk away from a multiplex cinema with an Imax and 4D screenings…

Day two, Edinburgh Zoo.

Their website promised mobility scooter hire that was capable of tackling the very steep hills within the zoo, but when we got there they were out of order. My own wheels, an eFoldi Explorer, is apparently capable of a 1:6 incline. I don’t know what that is, but I can tell you it can reach the pandas but not the zebras. 

Without it, I couldn’t have got much further than the gift shop. And the little kids we met en route absolutely loved it - perhaps because it is a bit odd looking. It’s not your average looking mobility scooter that’s for sho.

The zoo itself is BRILLIANT, well laid out, happy animals, awesome penguins. Good cafes. And once you are aware of the hills, great accessibility across the whole site. They have a little electric minibus to help folks up to the very top. 

The following morning we attempted shopping, but it was just too kerfuffle-y, trying to navigate with Google Maps whilst driving a scooter, and herding two kids in-between tram tracks and bicycles. Especially as at that point we were carrying our luggage, having checked out of the hotel. Edinburgh is very hilly and fairly cobbly which has it’s own challenges, but on my own I think I would have stood a chance.

Time to find a swanky espresso…

Google Maps helped me find Mayvn Cafe on St George Street. Very swanky indeed, even just sitting in the cafe is an experience, with Scandi style decor, designer lighting and video art on the far wall. They are on Insta if you fancy a virtual snoop around:

@mayvncafe

Return journey = Hell on a Stick #2. Total carnage at Edinburgh Station as no trains were going south due to a signal problem at Morpeth. Absolutely nothing was moving, and after an hour of sitting on a stationary train we took the plunge and jumped ship to a train heading cross country to Carlisle, where my husband picked us up. And of course my car was still at Darlington, wonderful, so that was yet more hassle for the following day.

The main problem with nightmare return journeys is they kind of ‘undo’ all the good bits REEEEALLY quickly.

Therefore the next 24 hours went like this…

Jesus H Christ that was awful. OW with bells on. Not doing that again. I’m doomed to stay trapped in the house for ever and ever and ever and I’ll live off pizzas and get fat.

Sleep for 13 hours.

Open Expedia app and search for hotels in Osaka, Japan.

If I can get to Edinburgh, Japan will be a doddle, right…?

Peace out.

[streetlight11]

Till I Met You Again

Summary: Everyone is born with a life already planned out for them. Including their soulmates. Except, every person walking this earth has been given a specific soulmate marking that was similar to a tattoo to match their soulmate’s. The ink is invisible when one is born. To activate the soulmate marking, one has to be at least in a 20 feet radius to their designated soulmate. But of course, they wouldn’t know it until they start to notice the ink slowly appearing on their skin.

Theme: soulmate au, university au, enemies to lovers

Genre: angst, fluff

Warning: mild cursing

WC: 10k

Pairing: Soulmate!Yoongi x Fem!Reader

a/n: Hello! I kinda got too carried away in writing this one the other day, hence the word count for this is... woah. Hehe. But anyways, here's a soulmate au for you Min Yoongi lovers <3

Every person who was born into this earth has their life journey already written out for them in which it unfortunately remains a secret from them. And these living souls have been entitled to a soulmate that would potentially cross their path in the near future. Everyone is made for someone and the tattoo on their skin otherwise known as a ‘soulmate marking’ determines it for them.

The soulmate marking is nothing far from a tattoo as it imprints on your skin for eternity.

However, these markings will already be on you the minute you were born. Except, the ink will be invisible to the human eye.

But it’s definitely there. The only way to activate the marking is when one happens to be of 20 foot radius with their designated soulmate. This will cause the ink to start slowly appearing on one’s skin. Even so, these markings will start only when one has reached the age of 14. Only then will the ink start to be visible to one’s eye.

Unfortunately, until now when you’re already past 20 years of age, not a single tinge of ink was displayed on your skin. You’ve checked everywhere on your body. From your fingertips to your toes.

Nothing.

You weren’t really one who purely believed in this whole soulmate thing simply because you felt that there’s no such thing as a fixed soulmate. You should be free to choose who you want as your partner purely through interactions and chemistry you shared with the other, not by some marking on your skin. Your parents had a matching mark on their right wrists which was a simple rose in a glass jar.

No doubt you admired their love story and how they met, but you couldn’t see it for yourself. You really don’t want to fully depend on this supposed marking. Even when you went off to college, you’ve made it a point to try and go on dates no matter what their soulmate markings would be.

But it all turned out with the same ending. Either the guy dumps you for not having the same mark or they ghost you after the first date, saying you’re too good for them. All these never led to a heartbreak on your end because you were never in love to begin with.

You were simply trying your luck, trying to see if you’d find a single soul who was just as sceptical as you on this whole soulmate thing.

And so far, you’ve met none.

It was the start of university life for you as you’ve managed to enrol yourself for a Computer Science major in Hangang University. You took the same course during college, having interest in web design and computer technologies. You could only hope that the study load this time would give you a mental break every once in a while despite knowing the content is definitely heavier than college content.

But you still told yourself to persevere and never leave your knowledge hanging while you’re still young. With this mentality, you brought yourself to campus today for day one of university classes.

Taking a deep breath, you pushed the door to the specific lecture room for the first lesson.

Immediately, you were greeted by a room that had the majority of the students’ gender being males. But it wasn’t a surprise to you because CS majors tend to lean more towards males instead of females. This doesn’t bother you since you were here solely to study and perhaps make friends along the way.

You found an empty seat in the top last few rows. With careful steps, you climbed the stairs to make your way to the spot you had your eyes locked on. After you’ve settled down, you noted how the room was fairly quiet.

Probably because it was the first day of classes and nobody really knows each other yet. That was all pushed to the back of your mind when you heard chatting coming from the front door and you saw 2 friends walk in. It was pretty obvious they knew each other considering how they were laughing and talking freely to one another.

As you kept your curious gaze on them discreetly, you could only realise how good looking they were.

The taller one sported beautiful dark brown locks that were long enough to cover his eyes, his smile so charming you were sure anyone who crossed his path would fall for his smile in less than a second. And then there was the other one who sported a more edgy look with his shorter dark purple, undercut hair that was parted near the centre to show his forehead, a right eyebrow piercing to compliment his face.

You quickly diverted your gaze to your laptop screen, not wanting them to think you’re a creep. You were busy searching for the e-books for this lesson in your online school portal when you heard a gentle voice calling to you from your right.

“Hey, are these seats taken?”

You looked up to see the one with the eyebrow piercing staring at you with the softest smile on his face.

In response to his question, you simply mimicked his facial expression and shook your head at him. He thanked you quietly before the 2 of them settled down beside you down the row. They resumed their conversation for the next 3 minutes before the lecturer walked in to start the class.

Two hours later, you don’t even know how you managed to absorb the things your lecturer said but you did. You were typing out the notes he shared on the projector screen when you heard his voice through the speakers.

“I will let you go for your lunch break. Be back by 1pm, here. You can leave your bags behind since I will be locking the room once everyone leaves.”

With that, your classmates replied with a series of yes before they got up one by one ready to head for lunch. You were just typing out the last of your notes when the boy beside you spoke up. At first you thought he was talking to his friend. You completely missed the way he was turned to you.

Until he gently taps onto your forearm to tell you that his question was directed to you. With a turn of your head, you locked eyes with him for the second time that day. “H-Huh?” You stuttered, earning a stifled chuckle from him.

“I was saying, do you wanna join me and my friends for lunch? We’re already sharing classes, might as well get to know each other to prepare for future projects or assignments.” He kindly repeated himself for you, making you whisper a soft ‘oh’ under your breath.

It wasn’t like you to approach someone first when it comes to striking a conversation with a complete stranger. So when he did it for you, it surprised you that he even thought of letting you tag along with them to lunch. For this alone, you decided to accept his offer knowing he does have a point for that last statement.

With that being said, the three of you left the lecture room after bringing your wallets with you. You quietly followed beside the brown haired one as they immediately opened a topic for their conversation.

You were just checking your phone for the texts sent from your mom in your family group chat when a voice spoke up, addressing you directly.

“What’s your name?” You glance up to catch the one who asked the question was the brown haired one, as the purple haired one was already looking at you but it wasn’t intimidating in any way. So you found it easy to reply to them.

“Y/N.” You said as they all nodded only for the boy beside you to speak up. “Nice to meet you Y/N. I’m Taehyung. This is Jungkook.”

And so you know.

After almost 10 minutes of walking, you finally arrived at the cafeteria located on the other side of campus from where you originally were. The cafeteria was filled with hungry students and occupied tables. This wasn’t something new but at times like these, you’d rather bring your own food and sit somewhere that’s less crowded and bustling.

Just when you were about to excuse yourself and get a take out instead, Taehyung’s voice sounded from beside you, “Hyung said he found a table for us. They’re at the side near the drink stall.” He addressed it to the Jungkook in particular.

Hyung? Found a table? Did their other friends go to this same campus too?

You thought to yourself as Taehyung soon led the three of you around the cafeteria with you following behind them like a lost puppy.

You were busy looking at the available food stalls around when you were stopped by the voices that called out to the 2 boys’ names. Curious eyes wandered over their figures to see just who their other friends were and you were met with a table filled with relatively handsome guys.

There were 3 guys seated at that table, happily welcoming Taehyung and Jungkook. Just when you thought they had forgotten you, Jungkook turns around to show you to his friends.

“If you guys don’t mind, we made a new friend this morning and we invited her to join us for lunch. Her name is Y/N.” Jungkook announced as the three boys smiled at you warmly.

“Hey Y/N. I’m Namjoon, this is Seokjin and Hoseok. It’s nice to meet you.” Namjoon said as he stretched his hand out for you to shake in which you obliged. You definitely didn’t miss the intricate design of a floral arrow lining his inner forearm. That must’ve been his soulmate marking. You soon found yourself seated next to Hoseok and Jungkook after buying your meal.

You were chewing your noodles when Taehyung spoke up to catch everyone at that table’s attention, “Where are they? Shouldn’t their class be over already?”

“Apparently they just ended 5 minutes ago. Minie told me they’re on their way now.” Seokjin replied.

Who were the ‘they’ Taehyung was referring to?

Were there more of their friends?

Oh great.

You refocused on your food, taking a bite out of the chicken meat as you listened to their ‘first day of university’ story. You found out that Namjoon was a Psychology major, Hoseok was a Dance major and Seokjin was a Culinary major.

You were currently staring at the pile of vegetables that Taehyung so kindly transfers into your bowl, after he asked around on who wants the boiled carrots and broccoli to which you said yes.

Taehyung was passing you every last bit of vegetable to your bowl when a sweet voice spoke up from the end of the table nearest to Namjoon and Seokjin.

“Finally! I thought you’d never make it for lunch.” Namjoon laughed as you heard a much raspier voice speak up from the same spot.

“I wouldn’t miss lunch for the world.” You heard the others laugh when Taehyung finally finished clearing his plate off the vegetables before turning to the newcomers to say his hellos.

“Oh, by the way, we have a new addition to our circle. She’s in Taehyung and Jungkook’s class so they tagged her along for lunch.” Seokjin announced as he reached his arm behind Taehyung to place a soft hand on the top of your right shoulder. You finally looked up from your bowl to see who the newcomers were.

The first guy you locked eyes with had cute puffy cheeks, sporting a pretty dark blue hair colour as his bangs framed his face nicely.

“Oh hello. I’m Jimin.”

You smiled shyly at him before your eyes naturally travelled to the other individual standing right beside Jimin and that’s when you frowned.

Unsurprisingly, the male did too.

His hair was an ash grey colour that parted at the side to show his forehead instead of letting it cover his eyebrows like Hoseok’s did. He had a few piercings on each ear. If his physique was unrecognizable to you, at least his face was. You knew exactly who he was without having to ask him for confirmation.

“Yoongi?” His name rolled off your tongue effortlessly in a whisper, stirring reactions from the rest of them.

“Wait, you know each other?” Jimin asked in confusion as his eyes travelled back and forth between you and Yoongi. That’s when you heard the other scoff before locking his eyes with you.

“Never thought I’d see you again after all these years.” His expression was dry and almost unwelcoming unlike the smiles his other friends gave you upon your first meeting. “Never wished for this day to come either but here we are…” You said sarcastically.

The tension was so thick, you were sure you would have to cut it with a knife instead of a scissors.

You broke the gaze by standing up, claiming you’ve lost your appetite.

“I’ll see you guys in class.” You said, directing your words to your classmates before you snatched your phone and wallet off the table top along with your tray of food to return. With a quick glance to Yoongi, you ignored his burning glare as you shoved past him by the shoulders causing him to stumble back a little.

The table fell quiet as Seokjin was the first to break the awkward silence, “Well, that was unexpected.” Yoongi scoffed as he left the table to go buy his food, not bothering to wait for Jimin as his mind was clouded with the thought of you being in his circle of friends.

The history of you two goes way back when you were in both pre and high school. Your first ever dispute with him was in preschool, all because you were both fighting over the crayon box. And then gradually, more fights would happen over silly little things. It came to a point where your teacher would have to separate you from each other.

Your disputes continued after you found out that he just so happened to join the same high school as you, let alone the same class. It only made things worse. You two would bicker and fight almost everyday like a married couple.

Your friends teased you often with him for the amount of fights you got into with him. They’ve even grown accustomed to the harsh comments you had thrown to each other on a daily basis.

Not a day goes by without either him stepping on your tail or you having a payback for all the pranks he did on you to get you worked up. And yet, just when you thought you were free from seeing the devil himself again, life has its way with you and it bothers you to the core at this very instant.

Your lecturer arrived back at the lecture room 15 minutes before 1pm and it seemed like everyone else was still having lunch. All except you. “You’re here early? Have you had your lunch?” He asked as he proceeded to unlock the room while you lingered behind him, standing up after you saw him approaching from afar.

“Yeah, I did.” You smiled, stepping back into the room after he pushed the door open. You climbed the stairs again to where your belongings were, taking out your air pods to bury yourself in music.

Shutting out the world around as you rested your head in your arms on the table. You didn’t notice the people strolling into the lecture room, too busy drowning yourself in your own little bubble. All of it soon came crumbling when you felt a soft tap on your shoulder.

That’s when you look up to see the 2 of them back in their seats.

You glanced ahead to see that the lecturer had already flashed the new slides onto the projector screen which indicates the start of class again. So you took out your air pods and kept them in its case before tossing it into your bag.

Class resumed and your messy thoughts were shoved to the back of your mind, far away from your main focus right now which was your class.

After a dreadful 4 hours of lessons, your lecturer finally calls it a day. He reminded all of you to be punctual for class tomorrow, saying that he has some group discussions for the topic he would be teaching. Once everyone was dismissed, you kept your stuff back into your bag quietly.

You could tell the two boys were waiting for you since they hadn't moved a muscle from beside you despite already standing up and were just leaning against the table while they chatted. The minute you stood up, they pushed themselves off the table and only then did they start walking down the steps.

The three of you made it to ground level thanks to the operating lift, making your way to the parking lot that was right beside the campus entrance.

You were just talking to Jungkook about your hobbies when you noticed a group of 5 guys gathered at the steps of the campus grounds through your peripheral vision. You could only guess it was their friends due to the voice that calls out to those walking with you. They led you towards the bunch as you glanced over to everyone but him.

“Hey Y/N, how did you come here this morning?” Namjoon asked, his voice nothing but sincere.

“Public transport.” You said simply with a smile directed towards him, only for Seokjin to speak up, “Do you need a ride home? I can drive you?”

With that being said, you kindly shook your head with a smile, not wanting to offend him in any way for turning his offer down. “It’s fine, I can manage on my own. Thanks for the offer though. Maybe next time.” You said as you bid the rest of them goodbye, not bothering to look at the very person you’ve held your grudge on for years.

They watched as you turned in your heels and left, deadpanning your way to the front gates. Jimin sighed lightly before turning to Yoongi and asked for answers on why you and him weren’t on good terms.

But the latter only brushed Jimin off, saying he would explain some other time.

The rest of them soon dispersed to their own vehicles to head home after a long and tiring first day of university.

As more days began to pass, you were sometimes dragged by either one of your 2 classmates to hang out with their friends and girlfriends. If you weren’t mistaken, half of them already found their soulmates and were currently in a relationship with them. While the remaining half were still finding for theirs because it was either their soulmate markings had appeared on their skin but very faintly, or there was none at all.

But the amount of times you’ve recalled hanging out with them during the past three months were countable with your fingers. You avoided having lunch with them often ever since you found out Yoongi was in their circle. You didn’t want to seem petty but it seems like he too hated having you around.

Which means that the feelings were mutual on both ends.

It was a pretty warm day so right after you arrived back at your apartment, you headed straight for the showers. Slipping into the shower stream the minute your clothes were discarded.

The cold stream coating your shoulder down with it’s nice, cooling temperature to ease out the warmth in your body.

After you finished your shower, you took your towel from the rack and proceeded to wipe yourself dry. Stepping out of the cubicle, you walked over to the sink counter where your large mirror was glued onto the wall. As you were ruffling your hair with the towel to rid the excess water, you noticed something on your left rib through the reflection.

Is that…?

You glanced down at your skin to see a very faint outline of something on your skin. You blinked twice, not believing this.

When did it start showing?

Your mind was going feral at the thought of seeing your soulmate marking finally make its appearance onto your skin. Who was the cause of this? Why did it only appear now after all these years? If that’s the case then it means that your soulmate is someone from school.

“What am I thinking? This is all a load of crap. I can date whoever I want no matter what marking they have.” You said to no one in particular as you changed into your home attire.

A few days later, you were just in class alone in the morning. Taehyung and Jungkook had yet to arrive when a sudden voice from beside you made you jump. A soft curse emitted from your throat as you clutched to your chest from the minor heart attack. You turned to find one of your classmates whom you recalled his name to be Hanbin, towering over you to your left.

“Hey, I’m Hanbin.” He smiled at you, feeling your stomach get warm upon seeing him up close for the first time.

“Hey… I’m Y/N.”

“I don’t mean to be creepy or weird, but I’ve kind of noticed you going for lunch alone these days instead of with your friends?” He asked as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. You somehow knew where this was going.

“Right… Well, that is true I suppose.” You chuckled awkwardly, looking away from him briefly before turning your attention back to him.

“I see. Well, if you’re looking for company, you can go for lunch with me?” He said it more like a statement instead of a question and that in itself made you smile. You had just accepted his kind offer when you heard familiar voices approaching to where you were seated.

Hanbin’s eyes glanced past your shoulder only to flicker back to you, setting a reminder before he left.

“Lunch with me later, yeah?”

You gave him a soft nod as a smile crept onto your lips. At the same time, you felt the soft nudge to your right elbow. You already knew who’s the culprit. “Wasn’t that Hanbin? What did he say to you?” Taehyung asked as he took a seat beside you.

“He asked me to go for lunch with him.”

“So you agreed?”

“Mhm.”

“You wanna go for lunch with him but not us?” Taehyung asked with a pout, only for Jungkook to lean over and ask what was going on. You could only roll your eyes at them, not actually annoyed or anything. Just a reflex whenever someone tried to get your sympathy over something stupid.

“Give me a break. I’m not sharing a table with ‘you know who’. Wouldn’t wanna accidentally break the table with our arguments.” You flashed him a sarcastic smile that made him click his tongue at you in disbelief.

It has been two months since you first went to lunch with Hanbin and you have been doing that ever since. You noticed that his demeanour was starting to change too around you, maybe there was a mutual feeling settling in between the two of you after all.

It was a Saturday afternoon and you already made plans with Hanbin a week prior. He wanted to bring you out on a date to the amusement park and then maybe grab some supper before heading home. He picked you up at your apartment that evening in his jeep, looking quite handsome if you say so yourself.

The two of you spent the evening together, adrenaline rushing through you thanks to the rides you took. After enjoying yourselves at the amusement park, you were both tired from having fun so he offered to stop by and grab supper with you before sending you home.

You ended up getting fast food at the diner downtown. You were happy. You were grateful that he was nothing but sweet to you. But for some reason, deep down there was that voice in you that was screaming, “He’s not the one” and you hated it. You didn’t want to rely on the marking to determine your happiness.

What if you belonged to someone who has a different marking than you?

That’s possible right?

So when he finally parked right outside your apartment complex, he turned off the engine leaving his key in the ignition. The car fell silent for a moment before you decided to be brave and spoke up.

“Do you… wanna come up for a bit? We can talk for a while longer?”

With that, Hanbin frowned as he wondered if he should. He didn’t want to ruin a first date and he most definitely did not want you to have a bad impression on him.

“Are… Are you sure?” He asked quietly, to which you nodded.

When you didn’t get a proper response, you simply let out a soft giggle followed by, “come on” before you opened his jeep door to board off the vehicle. You left him no choice but to follow after you. Once you’ve made it to your apartment, you unlocked your front door and stepped inside allowing him to enter.

It took him a while as his eyes travelled all over your cosy apartment, admiring the minimalist interior. You told him to take a seat while you went to get him a drink.

A few minutes passed and you were both just talking freely on your couch when you noticed how his eyes always flickered down to your lips constantly as you spoke. This made you stifle a giggle and he caught on. He apologized for it but you brushed it off.

Just then, the room felt quiet all of a sudden as it was your turn to glance down to his lips.

Hanbin softly smiled as he began to lean closer.

Your heart was pounding in your chest as you could feel his warmth radiating off his body from how close he was to you.

Right when you felt your head get dizzy from the close proximity, you unconsciously whispered against his lips something that you would never normally do.

“Kiss me.”

With that being said, he pressed his plump lips on yours.

Immediately intoxicating you with how sweet he tasted. The kiss slowly got heated as he carefully guided your body back to lay on the couch while he hovered over you. His hands slid past the hem of your shirt, resting on your waist as he caressed your skin.

You slide your hands up his chest, wrapping them around his neck. He slowly pushed your shirt up using his wrists. Right when he’d just pulled away for a breather, his eyes travelled down to your bare torso beneath him.

His gaze seemed stuck on whatever he was looking at. When you realized he stopped and was staring at something on your body, you knew exactly what he saw.

“Is that…?” His voice was soft, almost sounding as though he was upset.

“Yeap…”

With this confession, he slowly pulled away from you, tugging your shirt back down and bringing you to a sitting position.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…” He began but you were quick to hush him.

“It’s okay… Besides, I should be the one saying sorry. I already saw your marking the other day when you wore a tank top to class. I just thought you’d be okay with dating someone who doesn’t share the same mark as you. I guess I was being selfish…” You said.

Hanbin remained quiet as he listened to your reasoning. Suddenly feeling bad for stopping whatever you two were sharing, so abruptly like that. With that, he reached out to hold your hand, telling him that he was still sorry for reacting that way and for hurting your feelings by doing so.

But he told you he didn’t regret taking you out on a date today, that he genuinely had a good time with you and that he would love to still be friends with you if you allowed him.

You smiled at him before turning your attention to the flower pot sitting on your coffee table only for him to continue, “I just hope that you’ll find someone who will love you for who you are, doesn’t matter the mark.” For that, you smiled again. Thanking him for being sweet and thoughtful.

After he left, you couldn’t help but sigh. This was already the umpteenth time this happened to you.

But you couldn’t stay mad at Hanbin for turning you down simply because he didn’t reject you the way your other ex dates did. That was the reason why you let him go without holding a grudge.

The next few weeks, you’ve gone to lunch on an alternate basis between Hanbin and the guys. And every time you went with the guys, you could only prepare yourself for the constant bickering with the one and only, Min Yoongi and today was no different.

You were sitting next to Namjoon at the end of the table with the only space left empty being beside you. And it was as though luck wasn’t on your side, the only human left to arrive for lunch was none other than Yoongi himself.

You were just sipping your green tea when you heard his voice approaching towards your side of the table.

“Sorry hyung, that’s the only seat left.” Jungkook smiled sympathetically to the elder as you made it a point to not spare a glance over to him. You could hear his grunt of disapproval but nonetheless plopped his bag down on the chair before disappearing to buy his food.

When he did come back, you had just gotten a whole chunk of chocolate fudge cake shoved into your mouth by Taehyung who was seated opposite you.

You were unable to pull the dangling piece of cake into your mouth so you tilted your head back. But instead of the cake entering your mouth, it ended up falling into your hands when you felt your head crash into something behind you.

And the hiss just told you who it was.

“Watch it before I spill hot soup on you.” Yoongi said as he placed the bowl of steaming noodle soup on the table top beside your tray.

“Don’t worry because I’ll make sure it spills on you too.” You challenged him back, earning a glare from him.

You heard a few sighs coming from some of the guys but you couldn’t care less. You busied yourself by scrolling through your social media in hopes that the time would just pass by quicker so that you can be away from him after lunch ends.

A few days later, you had just finished your shower when you noticed your mark slowly growing more and more opaque. To which you could finally see the design of it.

It was a dream catcher.

A pretty one at that. You softly traced your finger over the outline of the detail, keeping your eye on the reflection. Just then, a soft sigh left your lips.

This means that your designated soulmate has supposedly crossed your path more than once. But seeing how the ink is getting darker with each passing day, could only mean that if not often, this person is near you at least more than 3 times a week.

A week went by and Jungkook had invited you to his birthday slash pool party that weekend. He invited only the guys and some of their girlfriends. You’ve met the girlfriends a few times and they’ve all been pretty sweet to you so far. All of them are so down to earth. You told Jungkook you’ll be there, earning a happy soft clap from him when you said so.

On the day of the party, you had just finished your shower when you noticed the water droplets underneath you weren’t clear. You looked harder only to realize those weren’t water.

It was blood.

“Great… Thanks mother nature…” You huffed as you went to get your feminine item from your cupboard. After successfully changing into the attire you chose for the day, you tied your hair into a messy ponytail before leaving your bathroom.

You wore simple denim shorts and a loose shirt tucked into your jeans.

When you actually made it to Jungkook’s house, you were surprised to know that he was living in a one story house with a built-in pool ready when he moved in.

Apparently his parents were pretty wealthy people so they bought this house for him, saying it would give him the opportunity to take responsibility in keeping the house clean and tidy rather than his mother having to do it for him all the time.

You called Jungkook’s phone only for him to pick up on the second ring. You told him you were at his front gate so he hung up the call and rushed over to you.

Once you were inside his beautiful compound, he brought you towards the back through his side garden. Distinct voices gradually get louder the nearer you get to them. The minute you turned round the corner, you instantly saw more than half of them in the pool including the ladies.

Seokjin and Taehyung were over at the barbeque grill, cooking the meat for everyone. There was a table filled with all kinds of snacks and sweet drinks. It was a full on pool party.

Just then, a familiar voice rings in your ear already knowing it belonged to Hoseok.

“Y/N! You made it! Come join us!”

You stopped at one of the chairs only to put your sling bag down and apologized to him, “Sorry to burn the mood, but I can’t. Monthly calls.” You could hear some whines and sad pouts forming on some of their faces right after.

“Aww man, that’s a total bummer.” Jimin said, making you shrug.

However, you noticed a figure leaning against the wall on the other side of the pool just blankly staring at you. That’s when you glanced over to see Yoongi. You held your stare for a moment before you turned away. Missing the way he was still staring at you even when you were making your way to Seokjin and Taehyung.

A few minutes later, you were just talking to Jiyeon who was taking a break from being in the pool. You sat facing each other but from where you were seated, your back was facing the grilling pit.

Jiyeon was just talking to you about baking when you noticed someone swimming to the side that was aligned with where you were sitting.

Only to realize it was Yoongi.

He placed his hands on the edge of the pool and soon pushed himself upwards. You watched as water flowed down his body effortlessly. Cursing yourself for even staring at his shirtless form. He pushed his wet hair out of his face, resulting in him having sort of a slick back hairstyle.

He was too busy talking to Hoseok and Jungkook who were still in the pool, his head completely turned away from you.

Right when you were about to look away, your eyes caught sight of the imprinted ink on his left rib. You didn’t think much of it as you turned away from him. But then something in your brain ticked you off like a time bomb. So you carefully turned back to him just a few feet away from you.

That’s when you saw it.

The dream catcher on his left rib is so prominent and bold against his milky skin. Not to mention his toned abs. A soft gasp left your lips as he walked past you without sparing a single glance at you.

But you didn’t mind it. You were glad he didn’t see how shocked you were because if it did, he would have said something about it.

So instead, you just got up and left, entering Jungkook’s home through the glass doors frantically. You rushed in and went straight to the said destination. Once inside, you took a moment to steady your breathing as you brought your gaze up to the long mirror that laid upon you on the wall landscape.

You carefully pulled your shirt up to expose the ink on your own skin. You could only stare at it through the reflection before looking down at your own torso and gently tracing your finger over the outer rim of the dream catcher’s hoop.

You didn’t know how long you were gone for. It wasn’t until a voice broke your train of thoughts.

“Was it really necessary to rush into someone’s house like-”

However, his speech got stuck in his throat when his eyes flickered over to the reflection in the mirror. No it wasn’t your face he was staring at. It wasn’t the soap bottles lining Jungkook’s sink.

It was your mark on your left rib.

You swiftly pulled your shirt down to hide it from him from seeing any more details of it. With quick hasty steps, you turned to leave the bathroom and had barely taken a step out into the hallway when he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back to face him.

“Show me.” He said firmly.

“Show you what?”

“Don’t play dumb, you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“I- I don’t know what you mean-”

Without warning, Yoongi used his free hand to lift your shirt up to stop right below your bra line as his hands naturally cupped your sides to keep your shirt there. He finally caught a clear look of the inked design on you, seeing how familiar it looked to him.

You could’ve sworn you saw his eyes flicked wider for just a millisecond before it went back to its original state.

For some reason, your lung felt restricted and your heart dropped upon seeing the same mark on his skin at the same exact spot as yourself. You wanted to run away. All you wanted to do now was to be as far away from him as you can.

So you slapped his hands away, making him lose his grip on you before you turned around to leave.

He grabbed your wrist again but this time, you mustered whatever strength you had left to yank your arm from him. Tears stinging your eyes as it threatens to fall, yet you don’t fully understand why.

“Don’t! J-Just… leave me alone… please.” Your voice falls into a whisper as you rush to the backyard, ignoring their worried calls as you simply told them you weren’t feeling well because of your monthly calls. When Yoongi did come back to the backyard, he was questioned as to what happened back in the house and why you looked like you were about to cry.

Yoongi couldn’t help but stare at your descending back just in time before you turned the corner and disappeared fully from sight. Only for him to lie to them despite knowing exactly why you left.

“She wasn’t feeling well.”

The week went by and you have been avoiding coming relatively close to the rest other than the 2 who were obviously unavoidable. But it’s not like you had anything against them. You just wanted to avoid Yoongi at all costs for now. It was a Friday and you had just finished your classes for the day when the two boys exchanged glances to each another before Jungkook spoke up.

“Hey, do you wanna grab something to eat with us after this?” You knew he was being nice. You knew he wasn’t to blame for Yoongi having the same exact soulmate mark as you. So for that, you chose not to lash out at him.

“It’s fine. I’ll pass.” You smiled half heartedly and they could tell. But thankfully, they chose not to question further.

The three of you were walking towards the main entrance as usual when you saw the rest of the group seeming to wait for you three. You glanced up to Jungkook beside you who gestured a small wave to the others, only for you to accidentally look over.

And the first thing you saw was Yoongi already looking at you.

Great.

Before you could get to close, you bid your goodbyes to your friends as you separated from them to head towards the gates. Nobody has yet to know why you were acting this way other than Yoongi himself. You were just halfway through the parking lot when a firm grip on your wrist made you turn after being tugged back gently.

You nearly crashed into the figure whom you weren’t surprised when you saw it was him.

“Stop acting like a child.” He said, his tone held something much more than just firmness. He sounded like he’s… hurt almost.

“So what? This marking thing is a load of bullshit. Why does it determine who we should be with? That’s unfair! I’ve seen couples who have different marks and yet they’re still happy together?!” You said, clearly letting your emotions take over your mind.

“If you think it’s bullshit then why are you ignoring me like I’ve just killed your pet?!” He asked, his voice now a tad louder than it was before.

“Because all the guys I’ve tried dating care too much about these marks! Every single one of them ditched me when they found out I didn’t have the same mark! And what are the odds that the one person who has the same exact mark as me, happens to be the one person that has been nothing but a daily source of fight with me?” You paused as his grip on you loosened, his glare suddenly softened.

“Of course I couldn’t believe it… I didn’t want to believe that of all people, it’s you… That’s why I ignore you.” Your voice grew soft as you saw the way his eyes flickered back and forth on your own brown pupils.

“So you’re saying you hate me? Is that it?” His question was simple but it held a thousand meanings and you knew it.

“I don’t even know anymore, Yoongi…” You whispered as you slowly pulled your hand out of his grip and quickly left before he could say anything else. Yoongi stood there trying to process everything. Still not entirely sure of what just happened. Just then, a gentle hand on his shoulder made him return back to reality.

“Hey man, you okay?” Namjoon’s calm voice spoke from beside Yoongi as the latter could only nod.

“We heard your conversation… Well, we didn’t intend to anyways… But, is it true? That you both have the same mark?” Namjoon continued.

He could hear the soft, quiet curse leaving Yoongi’s lips during his exhale before he spoke up, “Yeah… That was actually the reason why she abruptly left during Jungkook’s pool party.” Yoongi explained and it all began to fall into place for Namjoon. The younger could only nod as he finally put the pieces together.

“Mmm, and so I’m guessing she’s too overwhelmed with the fact that you have the mark out of a billion people to walk this planet?” Namjoon said.

“Bingo.” Yoongi sighed as the two began to walk back to their friends who were still gathered at the entrance despite hearing the commotion earlier. If space is what you need, then space is what he shall give. But of course, you can’t run from him forever.

It has been two weeks since your outburst with Yoongi and you have been keeping your distance from him again. The guys also didn’t try to tag you along knowing fully well that you needed space from Yoongi. For that, you silently thanked them. It was a Saturday night and you had made it a point to go for a quick grocery run to stock up your refrigerator with edible food.

After getting all the items you needed, you went to the queue. The lady at the counter scanned every item on the conveyor belt and went ahead to put it in the plastic bag before telling you the total cost.

You were about to reach into your jeans pocket when you noticed them being flat.

You felt around the pockets of your jeans and it was in fact empty. With that being said, you mentally cursed yourself for not bringing your wallet with you. Not only that, this store was the only one nearest to your apartment and it was closing in 10 minutes.

You wouldn’t make it back in time if you went home now to retrieve your wallet.

So you apologized to the lady who looked equally done with her job as you left the store empty handed. You were just walking down the partially empty street when you felt something drop onto your cheek. You stopped walking to feel what it was. Before you could touch your cheek, another drop hits the top of your head. And then another. And another.

“Fuck my life…”

You whispered to yourself as the sky suddenly began to downpour on you. Watching as some people ran across the road for shelter, some whips out their umbrella to shield them from the rain, some simply stayed indoors to avoid being caught in the rain.

However, you were too tired to even care about seeking shelter. Feeling as if today was the worst day of your life.

You continued to stroll down the street completely soaked under the rain.

You wrapped your arms around yourself in attempts to keep yourself warm but it clearly did no shit for you. Absent minded to notice your surroundings, you didn’t hear the calls for your name until the vehicle came to a gradual slow speed beside you on the street.

“Y/N!”

It was Yoongi.

“Leave me alone…”

“Y/N, why in the world are you walking in the heavy rain? You might fall sick, you dummy.”

“Who c-cares?” Your lips were starting to quiver from the cold.

“I do.”

You could’ve sworn your heart just skipped a beat at that response.

“Look, let me take you to my place and get you dry clothes while waiting for the rain to stop. I’ll send you home after.” He said.

“I d-don’t need your… h-help, Yoongi.”

He let out a soft groan in annoyance with your stubbornness, only to drive a little further down before bringing the car to a complete stop. You were about to carry on walking but your feet just came to a halt when you saw him running out of his car and coming to you.

“Come on and stop whining like a little kid.” Yoongi said as he grabbed your wrist and began jogging back to his car, pulling you into the passenger side before going back to the driver seat.

Once safely inside, he drove off into the night and made a left turn at the junction while your apartment building was to the right and probably about a 20 minutes walk. The car ride was quiet as neither of you said anything. You simply let him do what he said he would. When he finally brought the car to a park, he turned off the engine and soon climbed out of the vehicle.

You followed suit as he had already come over to your side to hold the door for you. After he’d locked the car, he led you to his apartment complex as you followed behind him. You took in the interior of his apartment complex, it looked slightly older than yours but still well maintained.

Apparently, he lived on the 14th floor unlike you who lived on the 5th floor.

He soon pulls out his house key and proceeds to unlock his front door. He opens the door for you, letting you step inside first. Once he had closed the door behind him, he told you to wait there as he excused himself to go get you a clean towel and new dry clothes for you to change into.

You took in the minimalist setting of his apartment, quite similar to yours except your walls are white and his is grey.

Yoongi came back with a handful, telling you where the bathroom was.

You followed his directions and soon closed the bathroom door once you’ve stepped inside. In the meantime, Yoongi had gone to change out of his own wet clothes into a clean pair of his sweatpants and a hoodie. He was boiling hot water to make hot chocolate for the two of you when you cleared your throat behind him.

He turned around at the sound, only for him to scheme through your outfit in which he had so specifically chosen for you. He had lent you one of his sleeping shorts and an oversized black hoodie that looked a little too big on you.

But for some reason, you looked good in them.

He almost had to pinch himself for staring too long before he finally spoke up, “Uhh, my dryer’s in the laundry room. Second door to the left.”

You nodded as you disappeared back down the hall, only for him to mentally curse himself for losing his composure. After 2 minutes or so, you came back having managed to turn the dryer on.

He handed you the cup of hot chocolate, not forgetting to thank him for it.

There was a short moment of peaceful silence before he gestured over to his living room. The both of you went over to the couch as you sat on either ends of the furniture. He turned his tv on and was busying himself with searching through Netflix when you mustered up the courage to ask him what was on your mind for the past half an hour.

“Why did you help me?”

Yoongi turned to you briefly, unsure if he should answer the question truthfully.

“As much as we fight, I’m not entirely heartless.”

Your eyes bore into him as you soon found yourself looking down at your hands when he turned to look at you. If it wasn’t for the tv, you knew for a fact that he could’ve heard the thumping of your heart. Silence fell over you two again but he broke it as soon as it started.

“Why were you walking in the rain?”

“I was on a grocery run.”

“But I don’t recall seeing you carry any bags of groceries?”

“That’s because I couldn’t pay for it without my wallet…”

He raised his eyebrows at you in disbelief, finding it ridiculous that you only realized it when you were checking out of the store.

“Shut up. This kind of stuff happens okay…” You scoffed, earning a quiet chuckle coming from him followed by an, “Okay, okay.” The room fell silent again and you were just playing with the strings of your hoodie.

Silently wishing for time to pass quicker but it seems like the rain only got heavier.

“Look, I think we should just forget about the whole marking thing and just… start over?” He said, causing you to look at him but he seemed like he was diligently avoiding your gaze.

“Start… over?” You dragged your words to show that you wanted a slightly more detailed explanation.

“What I mean is… let’s stop ignoring each other and stop fighting over the smallest little issues like we did when we were young. Back then we were still young and immature. But we’re not anymore, are we?” He ended with a question, making you huff.

You know he has a point but your ego is still higher than ever.

“Are you only saying this because I’m your soulmate?”

“No. I really am tired of fighting with you.”

“Why now? Why only want to call truce after you’ve seen my mark? Doesn’t that say a lot?” You were stubborn and he knows it. And yet, he still answers you to clear all your doubts.

Surprisingly patient with you.

“I know it might look like what you think, but it’s really not. I don’t care about the marking much like you. But after thinking about it, I feel like it’s actually childish to hold a grudge on each other for the things we’ve done years ago, don’t you think?” He explained, hoping it’ll get past that rock solid head of yours.

Your heart knows he’s right but your mind forces you to say otherwise.

With that, you huffed as you got up and excused yourself to go check on your clothes. Before you could make it past the first door on the left, he grabbed your wrist and tugged you back.

He pressed you against the wall with his other hand beside your head to trap you.

Your free hand hovered in between both yours and his chest as he was less than 4 inches away. Your faces were so close you could feel his breath hitting your lips. You would’ve slapped him if he did this years ago.

But now?

“Why are you so stubborn?”

He asked, his voice low as you kept your heated gaze on his eyes even though you saw the way his eyes flickered back and forth between your eyes and lips.

Rising heat from both anger and his body temperature radiated off him, engulfing you like a cocoon. You could’ve sworn you saw his pupils dilate a few times now that he was this close to you. It was quiet in the hallway as he frowned, still waiting for an answer from you. But instead, you gently pressed your hand on his warm chest that was in between your bodies.

This was enough to make him flinch slightly. His crammed face relaxed for a moment when he looked down at your hand on his chest before looking back at you.

Even more confusion struck him.

Your heart was racing rapidly in your chest, and you were so sure he could hear it. You couldn’t bear to look at him any longer so you looked down at your hand as you slid it up towards the necklace he was wearing. Playing with the pendant in between your fingers.

You didn’t realise this but his grip on your wrist was long gone and was now slowly snaking that arm around your waist.

Yoongi leaned in very subtly to let his lips brush against yours just to see your reaction. He closed his eyes, taking in the feeling of having you this close for the first time. You did the same as your other hand rested on his left bicep. Before you knew it, he closed whatever remaining gaps in between only to kiss you.

Your heart exploded in your chest as he used the hand beside your head to cup your cheek. You leaned into his touch while you reciprocated the kiss. Yoongi’s grip on your waist tightened as he pulled you against him.

He felt both your hands now just holding onto his biceps for support, his lips tugging upwards against your mouth.

You could feel his muscles flexing under your fingertips as he pulled away from your mouth and was now trailing soft kisses down your neck. A soft sigh left your lips, feeling him give some love to the part that joins your neck and shoulder blade together.

“Yoongi…” Your voice came out as a mere whisper.

Just when you wanted to say something, your breath hitched in your throat when you felt his hands slip past your shirt only to rest them on your sides when your mark was.

His touch was gentle but it definitely did something to your poor heart.

“Answer me truthfully… Are you okay with… this?” Yoongi asked, gesturing between you and him. “With us? Because you can say no if you’re really against this. I would never force you.”

You stared at him for a while, rethinking your answer. You’ve been so firm about not caring who has the same soulmate mark as you because you thought it was all bullshit. But now, standing in front of him and knowing that he has the mark, not only that but he seemed like he really genuinely likes you is making it twice harder for you to say no.

But your silence was too long for him as he counted to 3 in his mind. When you didn’t respond, he slowly nodded. Pulling himself away to leave a space between you.

“It’s okay, I understand… I think your clothes are dry. Go change, I’ll wait outside.” His voice was quiet as if he’s too upset, he can’t even look you in the eye. You felt bad. You never wanted him to feel this way. So when he turned in his heels to walk away, you yearned for him to come back.

Yoongi was halfway down his living room when he felt a smaller hand slide into his right one. His step came to a halt as he kept his back to you.

He was about to ask if there's something wrong but all he got was a soft apology.

“I’m sorry…”

You watched as he remained still, his back still facing you. Doing nothing to turn and look at you. Yoongi wasn’t sure what he wanted to do at the moment so he kept quiet.

Just then, you used your other hand to cup his that you were already holding. He would be lying if he said he didn’t like this. But he definitely wasn’t prepared for what you were about to do next. You weren’t sure if you trust your voice so instead, you took a few steps closer before wrapping your arms around his waist.

Pressing your cheek against his back. You stayed like that for a few seconds, basking in the sweet vanilla scent of his.

You could feel him tense up when you first hugged him but he soon relaxed in your arms.

You didn’t dare to do anything else, all until you felt him softly caress your arms only to lock his fingers with yours over top of your hands. You only nuzzled your face deeper into his back, afraid to look at him.

But when you feel him slowly move around in your arms, that’s when you let him face you.

The minute he sees your face, he immediately cups your cheeks and wasted no time in kissing you ever so sweetly. The butterflies in your stomach erupted as you snaked your arms around his shoulders, feeling him pull you closer to him by your waist.

He held you securely against him all the while never leaving your lips. You were the first to pull away, keeping the distance small between you and him.

Your eyes were still closed so you depended on your senses.

That wasn’t until you felt him cup your face again, caressing your cheek with his thumbs. The room fell silent as he brushed his soft lips against yours and whispered to you quietly, “Can we start over?”

You opted for just a nod, unsure if you could trust your voice. You opened your eyes to see him staring at you so softly with his doe round eyes.

Yoongi smiled, whispering an ‘okay’ before he kissed you again. He wrapped his arms around your waist as you melted against his lips. He took his time with you, making sure you were comfortable and that you really wanted this. He never wanted to hurt you in any way. He kept asking for your permission before he did anything and you appreciated it.

You woke up the next morning to a warm feeling engulfing you from behind. You stirred in your sleep, trying to see what it was. But the squeeze around your waist made you look down to see the familiar arm draped over your waist, tucking his hands underneath you. The silver bracelet around his right wrist could never be mistaken for someone else.

Just when you were about to snuggle deeper into the warmth of his body, you felt him kiss the back of your head. Your heart pounded in your chest, stomach flipped in your belly.

“Mmm, good morning.” He whispered, his morning voice low and raspy.

You sighed in content as you turned around to face him, only to find that he still had his eyes closed but there was a smile that crept on his lips.

With that, you smiled as you planted a soft kiss on his lips. You could feel him smirk against your lips, earning a soft giggle from you. His arm that was supporting your head, bent at the elbows as he began to play with your soft hair.

The next day, you came to school feeling a little down in the weather. Maybe it was a late reaction to when you got drenched in the rain. You were sniffling in your seat when Taehyung and Jungkook immediately caught the sight of your red nose.

“Hey, are you sick? Your nose is red.” Jungkook said, his voice laced with full concern. You simply shook him off saying it was just light flu.

The other two weren’t buying it, they said they would go get medicine for you after class and you all but rejected them. The last thing you’d wanna do was to burden them.

So after your morning class has ended and you have been dismissed for lunch, the three of you made it to the cafeteria only to find the rest of the guys already seated. But you and Yoongi still haven’t told them about your resolve yet. So they thought you two were still ignoring each other.

“Hey guys! Y/N? Are you okay? You look kind of pale…” Namjoon asked, making you smile.

“It’s just a little flu, that’s all.” You said, completely missing the way Yoongi was staring at you with pure concern.

“Do you wanna go home and rest?” Hoseok asked in which you shook your head, before a squeaky sneeze left your lips not forgetting to cover your mouth while you did. “Sorry…” You whispered an apology, earning a few laughs from them. Just then, Yoongi got up without a word, leaving the table.

You watched as he disappeared down the aisle towards the drink stall. You wondered what he was doing but nevertheless shrugged, going to the empty seats beside him and Jimin.

You took a seat beside Yoongi’s empty chair, not really having the appetite to eat.

You were just rejecting Jimin’s offer to feed you some of his food when Yoongi came back with a glass of hot tea, a bottle of water and a strip of two panadol flu tablets. The rest of them watched quietly as he sat down beside you and handed you the drinks.

“Here, take this.” He said softly, pulling your hand up to push the two tablets out of the strip onto your open palms.

“Oh? Since when are you guys on good terms?” Taehyung asked in utter confusion.

“We’re not. We’re just acting.” Yoongi replied sarcastically before twisting the bottle cap open for you. He waited for you to throw your head back and let the tablets fall into your mouth before gulping down the water.

After you were done, you thanked him quietly. You didn’t miss the little smirk on his face.

“Okay…” Seokjin said as he gently slammed his hands onto the table top, making some of you flinch.

“What’s going on? Last week you were both ignoring each other and now you’re taking care of her like she means the world to you?” He asked as you turned to Yoongi for help.

“Don’t you know the saying ‘People change’?” Yoongi said.

“Of course, but it’s almost too drastic. Just over the weekend too.” Seokjin said in disbelief.

“Well, I guess it happens.” Yoongi shrugged as Jungkook directed his question to you.

“So I’m guessing you too?”

“No. I still hate him.” You lied.

“Is that so? Then why are you holding his pinkie?” Hoseok smirked, pointing to your intertwined pinkie on the table. With that, you quickly removed your hands from Yoongi.

“Hey... Why did you let go? I was about to play with your fingers.”

Yoongi said with a small pout, making you blush. Just then, Yoongi reached back over to lace his fingers with yours, resting your hands on his lap only to steal a quick kiss to your cheek.

This stirred a few dramatic gasps from your other friends. “Did you guys see that?! That was- omg!” Seokjin’s voice was too loud, making Jimin cover his mouth with his hands.

“Oh hush your pie hole dust. Just let me be happy for once.” Yoongi smirked as you felt him caress the back of your hand. He’s definitely going to be a handful but you’re more than happy to entertain his crap.

~~~

[tequilaysangre]

DUEÑOS DEL PARAÍSO liveblogging - ep. 01 "Ignacio viola a Anastasia" - pt.1

With a title like that, i wonder where we're going /s

*DISCLAIMER* spoilers obviously (not that I think anyone actually cares, but anyway). TW for general violence, mature content etc etc IT'S A TELENOVELA ABOUT NARCOS, ofc it's not PG rated.

First thing first, the opening scene sets the tone: the lead (Anastasia) is underwater... freeing herself from ties...

and yes, there's a monologue:

"This is the world where I had to be born. I'm forced to survive where there's neither good nor bad, neither heroes nor villains. Here, whoever falters, loses. And I... I'm going to win."

BOOM! Bien dicho, Anastasia. The fake plants look fake though.

Cut to: a chopper. I repeat, a CHOPPER.

Unbelievable: they had the production money for a chopper but they couldn't get real-looking plants. (oh yeah, did I tell you it's set in the 1970's? An additional level of awesome, if you ask me).

Anyway. Enter the Bad Guys:

Are they the Federales, or what? IDK, but they've got big guns, and they're after Nataniel Cardona.

Meanwhile, Nataniel Cardona is throwing a big birthday party for his wife Anastasia.

There are flower arrangements! There's champagne! There's a mariachi band! A dude in all-black (Renato) is directing the security! Nataniel Cardona is obviously a drug lord.

I'm not saying it because he's loaded, or 'cause he's married to a much younger woman; I'm saying it 'cause he looks like this:

the three-piece white suit is quite dapper, let's give him that.

Anastasia is in white too. She's beautiful and beaming and everyone is having a good time. UNTIL. A mysterious woman appears:

Cue: ominous sound effect!! Murderous intent sparks from Anastasia's eyes!! She loses her shit, yells "I DON'T KNOW THIS WOMAN!!" and storms off. Who might she be?!

Ah yes, of course: she's her mother.

But Nataniel convinces Anastasia to at least talk to her estranged mom, Irene, because he's a good husband (drug lord thing aside).

Anastasia is taking NO SHIT though. How dare Irene show up after 20 years? Isn't she ashamed that she used to prostitute herself when Anastasia was a child? That she brought strangers into their home?

Something terrible happened then. I'm not gonna spell it out, but use your imagination. And she's, understandably, PISSED OFF.

if she was a snake she'd be spitting venom.

But joy is restored when Nataniel gifts her Cupo de Nieve: a fucking WHITE HORSE. What a rollercoaster!

It's short lived though: the Bad Guys are HERE!

(Nataniel calls frantically for Renato. Where the fuck are you, Renato? How did you miss the chopper, Renato? You kinda suck at your job, Renato.)

ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. The Bad Guys are shooting EVERYONE indiscriminately, men women and children (mmh I don't think they're the Federales). The mariachi band scatters. A guest falls dead into the garden's pond. A waiter gets yeeted onto the birthday cake. IT'S ABSOLUTE MADNESS.

a blur of falling corpses and exploding cake.

Nataniel's henchmen manage to take him out of there, while Renato protects Anastasia. Renato, we know where your priorities lie.

Also, he makes eye contact with the Main Bad Guy.

now kiss

Calling it now, they're gonna meet again.

Renato and Anastasia get to the pier (who doesn't have a pier?) where Nataniel is hopping onboard of his motorboat (who doesn't have a motorboat?)

...and I shit you not, he leaves WITHOUT HER.

"Señora, I'm not going to let anything happen to you". Nataniel, dude. You might as well have put her into his bed.

End of part 1 because, guys, this was only TWELVE MINUTES of it. The episode is 42 min long.

(one question remains still unaswered: what's been of Cupo de Nieve??)

[tinyyoungblood]

how ab a headcanon where the avengers all take a trip either to disney world or on a disney cruise? i’m a whore for the idea of everyone, especially peter and y/n, just acting like kids again

pairing: peter parker x avenger!reader

a/n: i like this prompt so much!! i’ve never been to disneyland, but i hope this is accurate enough lol. i also turned this into a vlog bc someone had to record this mess and since it can’t be me, i’m giving filming privileges to bruce

              ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

the avengers in disneyland

everyone is very very excited and the days before they leave pass in a flurry of excitement, but peter has never been to disneyland, so he’s THRILLED beyond means

peter’s jumping up and down while everyone’s loading the van and he keeps asking them if they’re ready for this “life-changing field trip?????”

sam is genuinely afraid that if peter jumps any higher he will bounce off earth, so he grabs peter by the middle and carries him horizontally into the car

steve gave a whole lecture on not getting lost the day before and since tony couldn’t resist it, he is dressed head to toe in neon yellow and grinning cockily

nat steps into the van, sees him, and turns around with her hand over her eyes like she’s been blinded

bruce brings his video camera with him and records everything. first thing they do is hit up a gift shop and it is better than any oscar nominated movie

everything they pick up is subjected to a thorough label reading and some kind of commentary

“steve, show them what you’re getting!!” “slippers” “what kind of slippers” “uh...soft”

thor on the other hand takes it very serious and his commentary ends up being very ~shakespearean~

peter and y/n get matching friendship bracelets for everyone

loki: “i’m not wearing that”

y/n: “that’s alright-“

loki: “no tie it on for me”

bucky wouldn’t have come along if it weren’t for steve and sam, but now he’s taking it upon himself to make sure that everyone stays in good condition so they don’t miss out on training

the whole team gets hourly text messages from him in the group chat

bucky: “There’s a water leak in Mickey’s Toontwon. If any of you slip and hurt yourselves I will kill you.”

y/n: “love you too buck”

(they know it’s his way to express his love for them so every message almost makes them tear up)

loki really wants to go on splash mountain but since he doesn’t want to get his clothes wet, he asks the guards how ~splashy~ splash mountain gets

they don’t take him seriously and it infuriates loki because it’s a perfectly reasonable question but it quickly turns into a passionate argument that holds up the entire line

“I DEMAND TO KNOW HOW HIGH THE RISK OF GETTING WET IS, YOU INCOMPETENT FOO—”

*cue y/n and nat dragging him away while bruce runs after them to zoom in on loki’s pouty glare*

they get him a green rain poncho with black polka dots from one of the gift shops, and he’s still glowering but he puts it on without protest before each ride that involves water

normally the avengers would easily get recognised but since everyone is walking around in costumes, people approach them for several other reasons

thor is just peacefully standing in life, staring at the incredicoaster like it’s the love of his life, when a little kid tugs at his cape

“excuse me sir, why are you so tall?” “good question, why are you so short?” “hmm” “hmm”

they find a micky mouse whac-a-mole and everyone is having Fun but something possesses tony and clint and they are really going for it

tony is a 5 foot tall ball of stress and competitiveness and he is yielding that plastic hammer like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do

clint on the other hand is starting to feel the numbness in his arms

y/n, with sarcasm: “you can do it, clint!”

clint, with spite: “i cannot do it, thanks”

*y/n stares into the camera*

they also make up a rule that if you are in a 5 meters radius of one of the theme park characters, you HAVE to snap a picture with them

steve, who gets constantly shoved nudged by bucky into some character’s path, ends up taking a picture with almost every single disneyland character

at some point, he’s just downright sick of it and there’s a 7 min video of steve zooming across the lot while goofy and woody run after him with wide open arms

bucky is doubled over with laughter in the background while sam is standing beside him and wiping away his own tears

the avengers also buy all the pictures that are taken of them on the rides and even stop at some photo booths so they can send them to wanda and vision who are both vacationing on hawai’i <3

thor, peter, and y/n run themselves ragged and their legs almost give out but they will not stop until they have been on every ride that disneyland has to offer

the others think it’s obnoxious but they follow and join them without hesitation

tony is secretly trembling with fear. doing loops in the air at the speed of light is fine and so is battling aliens, but getting on a rollercoaster ride is just heart-stopping horrifying

it’s not that he doesn’t like rollercoasters, (that man has no self-preservation skills, anything that resembles plummeting to death will be gazed at with big heart eyes) but he just doesn’t trust them

if he didn’t build it or prove it, he doesn’t trust it. period. but the avengers are just so excited and happy that he can’t find it in him to sit out

that quickly results in thor and tony re-enacting very impressive Shouting Contests on each ride without fail

tony is screaming and clinging onto whoever is sitting next to him for dear life because he’s Petrified™️

and thor is screaming, because he’s having The Time Of His Life

he’s feeling the wind in his hair, his heart in his throat, and if he’s not shredding his vocal chords and flinging his limbs around, what’s the point of it all

after 20 different rides, tony is sick of pretending and just trudges through disneyland, the happiest place of earth, like it’s the sole cause of all suffering in the world

nat rejoins the group after she mysteriously disappeared for a moment and her hair is tossed, there’s ash on her face, and half of her clothes are wet

bruce, startled: “where have you been??”

nat, beaming: “there was a ride that spat fire from all sides and people jumped out of nowhere to scare you while the whole place was filled with hot water!!!”

bruce, concerned, zooms in on nat’s excited face

“nat i think you went to hell”

sam is big on merry-go-rounds so he drags everyone with him and while some one them first don’t seem to enjoy it, they change their mind once they see bucky’s little smile

(they go on at least ten more rounds until it starts to get dizzy)

a little girl trips over her princess gown and falls close to where steve is waiting in line, and steve immediately abandons his spot to rush over

bruce zooms in on them bc steve has always been kinda awkward with kids, but here he is, crouching down and comforting that little girl, and it’s so unashamedly soft and sweet

they can’t hear what steve is saying but she’s BEAMING now and even giving him a wobbly courtesy while he claps proudly

bruce turns the camera around and both he and clint are lowkey in TEARS like “why are we crying?? we didn’t even fall down” “i KNOW!!”

nat gets a hold of the camera and she’s on a mission to get the most embarrassing greatest footage possible

“bucky, go stand next to moana” “why?” “it’s moana go stand over there” “but i don’t know-“ “bucky.” *cue bucky, awkwardly standing next to moana while nat grins broadly*

when he’s back with the team, sam just stares at him blank-faced, clearly waiting for bucky to ask why he’s looking at him

eventually bucky caves in with a long sigh

“what” “i can’t believe you don’t know who moana of montunui is. she restored BALANCE to the WORLD. put some RESPECT ON HER NAME”

no one knows why but there’s footage of y/n, thor, tony, and loki strutting up and down in the middle of the lane in minnie mouse plush shoes like it’s a catwalk

sam, bucky, and nat are holding up their fingers to score them while steve is staring at them like he’s analysing their fighting stances

bruce, clint, and peter are standing on the sidelines and cheering them on as they should be

they end their day by digging into an unholy amount of fries that even steve can’t resist because they’ve been walking the whole day

a questionable amount of cotton candy also end ups in their possession and the footage of that is just mostly everyone trying out each other’s cones while the camera is passed between them

soon after, the avengers are back in their van to drive home and bruce zooms in on the row of seats where y/n has her head on peter’s shoulder while the others are also half-lounging on each other, and everyone is asleep <3

* * *

guess what i’m about to say?

stay hydrated pals

hc masterlist

[reckzieblogs]

Hey do you have any tips what I should eat or how I could suppress the hungry feeling, I have a eating disorder since 3 years but I still don’t have that much control sometimes now I want to restrict again and I need a few tips for the begging?

the control thing is something i still struggle with after 10 long years in this lol but here are a few things that help me

to suppress hunger

- drink warm lemon water

- when you have meals try to make them as high protein as possible (having one meal that will fill you up is better than not eating and risking a binge)

- sounds obvious but water is key just always drink it

- brush your teeth it immediately makes you not want to eat

- go for a walk (there’s been loads of studies about people who took a 15 min walk when they had cravings who said they went away after)

for control i have some tips

- taking the time to get pens and some paper and write down some really specific rules, make it look nice maybe put it on your wall if you live alone (when you have a set of rules it’s much easier to stay on track)

- some of my rules include things like always drink water between bites, chew at least 20 times just really specific things

- 3 small meals a day is much better than nothing all day and a massive binge

- take up a hobby or get a job where lots of your free time will be occupied it will help take your mind off food maybe

- i recommend this time and time again but a fitness tracker changed my life, when i finally knew how many cals i had burned in a day i could plan my day and control what i ate (knowledge = control lol)

- it takes 21 days to form a habit, if you can make a daily ritual and do it consistently for a period of time it should eventually stick!

i hope you found this helpful 💓 stay safe and don’t restrict too low x

[respectable-username]

I've been back in the office these last couple of weeks after working from home for almost exactly a year, so of course that means it's time for:

Hermitcraft Corporate AU 👩‍💼🧑‍💼👨‍💼

All the Hermits work in the same office for the one company.

The company, or at least the division they work for, is a tech company, partly because a lot of the Hermits are already technical and partly because that's something I know enough about to riff on 😛

Zed, Impulse, and Tango (Team ZIT): Backend engineering team. Tango and Zed are both developers and Impulse is their project manager. All three of them code though, because of understaffing due to budget cuts. Impulse keeps trying to get Skizz hired as an additional developer, but no success yet.

Grian and Scar: UX and UI designer respectively. If you get the two of them in a design meeting together, be prepared to spend 20 mins listening to them argue over the colour of a button. What they come up with in the end though is always brilliant.

Mumbo and Iskall: Frontend engineering team. The interfaces they create based on Grian and Scar's designs are amazing and super functional and I didn't even know you could do that with JavaScript! The only teeny tiny issue is that they're always suuuper sloooow. But, I mean, surely customers are happy to wait 10s for a page to load? 2s after a button push for an action to happen? That's normal, right? Right?!

Doc: Database engineer. Whatever is making the website slow, it's not Doc's DB. That thing has been optimised to the extreme, regularly tuned based on real usage information. It's also super durable, sitting on a custom RAID array that nobody's previously implemented outside research papers published within the last year. That thing isn't going down. That thing isn't going to slow. The GOAT will make sure of that!

Etho: IT support and general hardware guy. Whether it's a broken keyboard or a new physical server that needs installing, Etho's your guy. Can do anything you need in the hardware space. Honestly, it's kinda weird how broad and yet how deep is knowledge is. Even the esoteric things he usually has an answer for. How does this guy know everything?!

Joe: Security red team. His job is to break and break into the company a hundred different ways, then write a report about exactly how he did it. You can generally tell Joe's level of boredom by the level of absurdity in his attacks. Honestly, how does he think of these things?! Joe knows that the company knows that he knows they can't fire him or else he could bring them down for real within a week, so they let him do basically whatever he wants. Luckily, Joe doesn't abuse that power too much, mainly just holding back certain more useful exploits for his own personal use, such as certain ways into the building out of hours...

False: Security blue team. Her job is to enforce good security practices and to defend the company against malicious actors and Joe. Mostly against Joe, though. The actual attackers are usually just script kiddies with their first metasploit installation and phishers trying to steal passwords via emails (which isn't a big issue for the company given their two-factor auth setup). Joe, on the other hand...

Cleo: Chief Banter Officer (at least, according to her Slack profile). Nobody knows exactly what Cleo's job is. All they know is, whenever somethings popping off on the company Slack, Cleo is right there in the middle of it. Whether that's planning a coffee run or complaining about how the company's refusal to implement pay band transparency is harmful to minorities, you know Cleo has an opinion and will share it. Joe will usually join in, if only to wind up Cleo even more. Cleo's actual job is in accounting, but that's boring.

Stress: HR. HR typically has a bad wrap in industry, but Stress works hard to make sure that doesn't apply to her! She takes all complaints seriously and provides comfort and assistance to those who need help when she can. However, when it comes to hiring and pay, her hands are still tied by the higher-ups. No matter how many times Impulse begs her to hire Skizz, there's just no budget for it!

Cub: Upper management. He has a finger in all the pies. He knows what's going on. And most importantly, he has the power to make some decisions. If you really want something done, if you can convince Cub it's worth doing, you know he can pull some strings to probably make it happen.

Ren and Keralis: Marketing and PR. These boys know how to make an impact, going big or going home. Whether it's hyping the company to investors or to potential customers, they will drag you in and make you want to be a part of it. Also, the two most likely to be dragged into Stress' office for certain comments they keep making.

Bdubs: Receptionist. You'd think being a receptionist would be easy, just sitting behind a fancy desk all day, but no. There's phone calls to forward, packages to collect, temporary passes to find for guests and those who forgot their own (looking at you, Scar), people to greet, questions to answer, announcements to send, and building managers to placate. Stop smirking, it's a very important job!

Xisuma: Customer support. If any of their customers need a hand, X is there to give it to them. His ability to stay calm no matter how annoyed the customer is proves to be a great asset, and almost everybody leaves satisfied that their complaint has been heard, even in the cases when it isn't yet solved.

TFC: Retired (officially), contractor (temporarily). TFC worked at the company for many decades and officially retired three years ago. However, his institutional knowledge and history working with the oddities of their system mean that he keeps being called back in as a contractor to fix odd problems. He doesn't mind though, helping the next generation move forwards. The extra cash doesn't hurt either!

Skizz: While not part of the company (despite applying five times. Five!), he still will accidentally-on-purpose bump into the Hermits on coffee runs and will never not join them for Friday night drinks.

The remaining Hermits I don't know enough about to give them roles myself. Leave some suggestions for them in the comments or reblog to add your thoughts!

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Initial thoughts on OW2:

Having played roughly 10ish games tonight, some wins some losses, and completing my three daily challenge rewards, I’m about level 4 on the BP, and this is including the 20% boost in XP I get from I guess having the paid BP which tbh I didn’t even know I was getting. I knew I paid for something, but quite honestly I just want the PvE mode that’s probably never coming.

Anyways, initially I thought that this meant XP was incredibly stingy, and it might still be, jury’s still out, but when I got to thinking about it, 4-5 levels a day, I think that’s maybe reasonable. I don’t really know how long a season is, I’m assuming it’s a quarterly thing so ~13 weeks I guess. 13 weeks is 91 days, so 91 days of dailies you can do to earn quick XP. Plus there’s weeklies on top of that, as well as some season-wide challenges, though I don’t actually know if those give you XP or if they just give you outright items. It’s not terrible. You’d finish the BP in about ~20 days, probably more since not everyone can play 10 games in a sitting, and who the fuck knows how outrageous the daily challenges might become.

I didn’t really play as Kimiko much. I had ample opportunity to, mind you, but the few minutes that I did play her sort of confused me to the point that I just decided it would be better to swap to someone I know how to play. That’s probably not a dig on the hero herself, I just didn’t really give her a chance to figure out her kit.

I will say, one ‘good’ thing, if you can call it that, is that this whole mess of a launch did at least reinvigorate the community a bit. This feels like Day 1 all over again, which is kind of nice. People were active in chat, asking what everyone thought of the game, or making memes as usual. I played against an infinitely superior Reinhardt and we joked about how you don’t need no stinking guns when you have a HAMMAH! Shit like that is what I think this game lives for.

Game looks nice. New maps are pretty good (except one of the robot maps but I can’t recall the name of it, but something about it just felt really off to me).

The queue to get into the actual game itself was a bit frustrating. Not even so much because of the queue itself, that much I’ve come to expect on a Day 1 release (even though there’s really no excuse these days for that sort of issue but w/e), but what bugged me was that the queue would just straight up ‘lie’ to you sometimes. I hopped in and it said there were 0 people ahead of me, 5 mins later it says 30,000 people were ahead of me. To their credit, it really didn’t take all that long to get by 30,000 people, maybe like 15 minutes. This happened again later where it said there were 800 people ahead of me, and then it jumped to 4000 after waiting for over five minutes. I understand technically that it’s just trying to load the actual number, but it still seems wrong to give me a random incorrect number only to correct it later.

OVERALL, yeah no there was no reason for OW2 to be a thing. That fact isn’t going to change any time soon I don’t think. It always should’ve been just an update to OW1. It just feels like they took a big ol’ break on releasing new content and decided to update the graphics a bit while they were gone. Do I think the game is bad? No, it’s still fundamentally Overwatch. Do I think there’s a lot of BS involved in it all? Absolutely. Am I gonna stop playing? Not even remotely.

[buckyhoney]

hey friend. sometimes stress manifests when we overload ourselves and it causes a strain or creates some tension, sometimes to the point of inability to operate as you normally would. in my experience, sometimes it's purely the inability to relax -- thinking to myself about what i can do to take it easy, or what could i do to run away from it all is two thoughts i notice when im stressin HARD. the anxiousness or restlessness is also another sign.

one thing i do to 'destress' is something a counselor recommended a while back. i sit down with a paper and pen, then write for 3 minutes straight, the pen doesnt leave the paper for all of 180 seconds, it gets out all my immediate thoughts and problems.

then i take 10-20 min to do something i'd usually enjoy like cooking or reading, whatever you like that makes time pass. the trick to doing destressing activities is doing shit that that you actually enjoy, not just lavender bath bombs or chamomile tea once a week on self-care tuesdays like media makes it out to seem like. its stuff you love, or at least somewhat take interest in, at your own pace.

the stress doesnt dissipate immediately, not when you're focusing on trying to make it go away. its the repetition of an action, the attention to your motor movement, that will help you ease up and allow your mind to sync with your body. some buddhists describe anxiety as a state of humanity, existing in your thoughts for too long, and peace is what happens when you can control it by meditating or allowing your body to reach equilibrium with your thoughts. so, anyways, by the time i get into the habit of taking the time to do something for myself, it starts to come easier and i stop counting the minutes.

yours truly,

an anxious anon still trying to figure it all out too

this helps loads <3 *im gonna try the writing exercise for sure ! thank you so so so much💛