#at least I can write a fanfic about bringing her back now

[annoying--moth]

So back when I was reading The Toll I was kind of convinced for a multitude of reasons that my beloved blorbo Scythe Curie was going to make a miraculous return (this was mainly delulu/denial- I was very sad)

One of the things that contributed to this was, funnily enough, fanart. You see a couple of times I decided to look up fanart of Scythe Curie cause I was bored (I was a little nervous about spoilers, but I tried to be careful) and I noticed that a couple of the fanarts I found had her with shorter hair. Side note: when I say shorter I mean like shoulder length, which is pretty short compared to her usual hair, but anyways.

So because of this, I formed a theory that she would come back later in the book, but with short hair now, which imo is a pretty great tradeoff for being dead since she can always regrow it. (Why she would cut her hair idk but y'know drama)

I finished The Toll, and lo and behold, she did not miraculously come back. Apparently the artists just drew her with short hair for no reason (or because they felt like it? Idk) and I was left salty

[222col]

Can you please write a fanfic about shy nerd Stanford student Art being in love with reader who studies in the same college and her repeatedly rejecting him but Art pining for her and doing everything to change her mind and he only has eyes for her even though there are many girls who have crush on him and trying to seduce him and get him to like them back. And one day his best friend Patrick decides to set him on a blind date without Art knowing because he knows he would refuse so when Patrick tells him to meet a girl he thinks that they would meet for studies or something and when Art goes to that "blind date" he notices that y/n was on a date in the same place on and she realizes that she has feelings for Art because she gets jealous when she sees him with the girl but she can see that he's feeling very uncomfortable around that other girl. You can add smut and them ending up together I'M BEGGING YOU TO WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THIS 🧎‍♀️

oh my god yes yes (i changed the blind date idea a little hope thats okay!!!) i may have gone a little overboard on the length i was excited okay | 18+!!!

"c'mon, please, just say yes this time," he's pleading with you. holding your favourite flowers in his hand. part of you feels bad, rejecting him again and again. he is cute, just a little too cute for you. "art, i've told you, you're not my type." your arms are folded, he sighs and leans his head against your door frame. "will you at least accept the flowers?" his words are like whimpers. you smile sweetly at him, extending your arm. that smile is all he needs, handing you over the bouquet. you find an empty cup in your dorm room, filling it with water and placing the flowers inside. he watches your every move from the doorway. "goodbye, art" you mumble, grabbing your phone from your back pocket and laying on your bed. you don't watch him leave, he studies you for a few moments before closing your door and heading back to his own room.

"hey, art," girls flutter their lashes at him on his walk home, he always just smiles awkwardly and moves along, breaking the heart of another girl, because they just aren't you. he arrives to his dorm, collapsing on the bed. his cock twitches, he didn't even realise he was hard until that moment. must have been when your hand grazed his taking the flowers, or the sight of your hard nipples against your stanford t-shirt. his hand is already in his trousers, thinking about you bursting through his door, apologising for all the times you rejected him, kissing his whole body telling him how stupid you were for not letting him take you out. his door swings open, he comes there and then, stuck in his fantasy. "oh jesus christ art, did she say no again?"

art quickly covers himself and his mess as his cheeks blush red, patrick sits on the edge of the bed. "don't laugh," art begs, burying his head in his pillow. he can hear patrick smiling in his words, "i'm not, but christ, man, you need some pussy." patrick watches him shake his head in his pillow. "dude, i watch girls throw themselves at you nearly every day, and yet you're the only guy on campus not getting laid." art sits up, still covering himself with his blanket. "i don't want those girls, i want-" patrick just slaps his arm. "yes, i know you want her. but she doesn't want you. hey, i wonder if she's just gay or asexual or something, maybe i should try and fuck her and we'll find out." patrick says, deep in thought about this idea. art's eyes darken, "don't you fucking dare, patrick." patrick just rolls his eyes at his friend. "hey, calm down romeo, we can share." art is up now, pushing patrick out of his room, locking it behind him. "i was only joking, art, don't be so sensitive."

weeks go by, art still rushes to meet you after class, carrying your bag or books back to your room. leaving you notes and your favourite snacks outside your door late at night, bringing you a coffee some mornings. every time he sees you he asks the same question, "will you say yes, let me take you out?" it's met with a sigh by you every time, sometimes squeezing his arm or kissing his cheek to soften the blow. these acts of kindness only make art fall more and more for you. art sits in his room, studying tennis plays and doodling love notes on a thursday night. his phone lights up, a text from patrick.

meet me @ our favourite bar tomorrow night? 7pm?

art replies 'sure' and continues doodling. tomorrow comes, art does up the buttons to his pink shirt and zips up the fly of his jeans. he fluffs his hair on his way out, leaving to go meet his friend at the bar down the road. walking through the entrance into the dimly lit bar, art scans the room for patrick, only to see a blonde waving him over. he furrows his brow, slowly walking in her direction. "hey! patrick told me you'd meet me here at 7, i was a little early so i just got us both a drink, hope that's okay?" art has literally no idea what she's talking about. "what is happening right now?" he asks, his tone blunter than expected. "your friend, patrick, told me to meet you here, for our date?" art slowly sits in the chair opposite the blonde. " i was like, so surprised when he told me you wanted to go on a date because obviously i see you on campus and at tennis but like, i didn't think you'd wanna date me-" she's rambling, art cuts her off. "what's your name?" he can barely cover the boredom in his voice. "oh, um, it's lindsay. would you not already know that if you asked patrick to set us up?" she's confused, sipping her drink, red lipstick sticking to the straw.

he's thinking of an answer, debating just leaving. there's no point him being here, on this stupid date that patrick has orchestrated. he questions whether just running for the door would make him a terrible person, but as he checks the exit, he sees you. sat on a table by the window, leaning over, talking to a man he's never seen before. is this why you always said no, because you had a boyfriend? no, you would have just said that. well, now he definitely can't leave. he watches intently as your cleavage bulges over the top of your dress, laughing as you bring your drink to your mouth. you're five tables away, but you're sat facing him. "uh, art?" the blonde questions, bringing art back to the situation at hand. "sorry, uh, lucy. yeah, i guess i must have forgot talking to patrick about it all, i've been so busy with tennis."

you look so beautiful, all art can think about is ripping your little white dress off your body and fucking you over the table, right in front of the stupid guy you're on a date with. "it's lindsay," the blonde whispers, sipping her drink again. "yeah that's what i said," art's eyes revert back to the girl in front of him. he leans back, allowing more physical distance between him and lindsay, lucy, whatever her name is. your eyes scan the room, landing on art. your mouth opens slightly, he's on a date? why did part of you feel jealous, sad even, that after months of trying to win your attention, he's given up. he's moved on. you bring your focus back to your own date, trying to shake off the emotions running through your body. your eyes keep darting back to art, letting your date take over the conversation. he looks uncomfortable, leaning back on his chair, fiddling with the hem of his button up. you think how beautiful he looks in this light. you smile slightly, as his eyes meet yours. he smirks, catching you staring at him.

he watches you excuse yourself to the bathroom, your hand lightly grazing his back as you walk behind him. his breath hitches, immediately cutting the blonde girl off to go to the bathroom. you're washing your hands when art rushes into the room. "art, what are you doing, this is the ladies r-" you can't finish your sentence, his lips are on yours. you push him off you, as he just smirks down at you. fuck, that's what you wanted. no more nice little art, following you around like a lost puppy. but a tall, hot art, forcing his lips on yours, not caring about anything else but kissing your mouth. you grab him by the hair and pull his lips back onto yours, feeling him chuckle against your lips, his hands rush around your body. he pushes his tongue into your mouth, moaning as he does, his hand grabbing your body and lifting you up onto the sink. he slots himself between your legs, lips never leaving yours. you taste like perfection, everything he'd been dreaming about.

you remove your lips from his, leaning up to whisper in his ear. "take me home," you kiss and bite at his earlobe. "no, i'm gonna fuck you right here," you lean back and look up to him, the blue of his eyes overshadowed by the size of his pupils. "what if someone walks in?" you question, your lip between your teeth. "do i look like i fucking care?" you've never been so turned on in your life, neither has he. he's trying so hard not to jizz his jeans. slipping his hands under your dress, lifting you up slightly to remove your underwear. he tucks the lacy pair into his pocket, "i'm keeping these," he growls into your ear, your head leans back, hitting the mirror behind you. he positions your body at the edge of the sink, wrapping his arm around you to keep you in place. his other pushes his jeans and boxers down to his ankles, his cock hitting his stomach, finally free from the constricting fabric. you gasp at his size, he just smirks and runs his fingers through your folds. "you're fucking soaked," you blush, "don't get embarrassed, i've dreamt of making you this wet."

all you can do is grab his head and kiss him. he lines his member up with your hole, teasing your entrance. "how badly do you want it?" he pushes the tip in, "fuck- so badly, art, please," he keeps teasing you, so very slowly sliding more of his cock inside you. "you're so tight princess," he can't keep his eyes off your face, savouring every expression you make, every quiet noise that escapes your lips. he pushes himself all the way in, holding himself there. you feel even better than he ever imagined, it's the most perfect thing he's ever felt around his cock. "please, art, please fuck me," you're begging him, he's revelling in it. he's been begging for your attention for months, and now here he is, inside you, you begging him to fuck you. you buck your hips, in need of any kind of movement. "fucking hell, art, please, i'm desperate for you, i need you,"

his hands grab your ass from underneath you, pounding into you harder than you've ever been fucked before. the bathroom fills with the sound of skin slapping skin as you bury your moans into his face, arms tight around his neck. he pulls your head back by your hair, desperate to see your face as he fucks you. he moves his hand over your mouth, as much as he wants to hear every ungodly noise you make, he wants to finish inside you before getting caught. he lifts you up again, spinning around and pushing your body against the wall, your legs wrapping around his waist as he keeps pumping into you. one hand around your waist, the other on the wall keeping him steady. only making you even wetter, his strong form holding you up with just one arm. he bites down on your shoulder to stop the groans escaping him. "you're fucking mine," he whispers into the nape of your neck. you simply nod your head, not good enough, he thinks. "tell me, tell me you're mine," his words leave his lips in between thrusts.

"i'm yours, fuck, i'm all yours art," your breath is shaky as you answer, legs tightening around his waist. "that's my girl," he peppers your face in kisses, his hair sticking to the sweat on his forehead. "christ, shit, i'm so close," he mutters against your lips. "come inside me art, fuck, i'm on the pill, please baby," it's like you can see his thoughts, read his brain. he moans against your lips as thrusts once more, pushing his body up even closer against yours, your orgasm comes at the same time as arts. both mumbling profanities against each others lips. he pulls out of you, gently setting you back on the ground, still holding you, keeping you steady. you can feel his load drip from your pussy onto your thighs. he kisses your forehead repeatedly, "my god, you're so beautiful."

you shyly smile at him, leaning up to kiss his lips. the two of you return to reality, art helping clean you up, pulling up his boxers and jeans. "am i really not getting my panties back?" you ask him, giggling. "nope. these are my souvenir princess." your knees go weak again, readjusting your hair and clothes in the mirror. "christ, why did i wait so long for that?" you laugh, looking to art through the mirror. he plants a kiss on your cheek. "i knew you'd come around eventually, sweetheart." the two of you double check your appearance in the mirror, "back to mine?" art asks, still nervous for your response. you simply slip your hand into his and nod. the two of you leave the bathroom, heading towards the exit of the bar. you notice art's date has already left, yours still sat at the table waiting. "what the fuck?" is all he can muster, seeing you and art holding hands leaving the bar, laughing, art leads you back to his dorm.

"can you just wait here a sec?" he asks sweetly, pulling his keys out of his pocket. "my room's a mess." you nod, leaning on the wall next to art's door. he scrambles through the door, almost running to his desk to discard the ridiculous amount of love notes dedicated to you. he trips on his way, landing on the floor to see patrick sat on his bed. "what the fuck did you do? i set you up on a date out of the kindness of my heart, and what do you do? leave through the bathroom, you little shit! she's been blowing up my phone complaining about you." patrick hits art lightly on the head. still on the floor, art smirks. "well, i didn't actually leave through the bathroom," patrick interrupts him, "fine, so you stayed in the bathroom so long that she left, same thing!" art stands up now, "i had a very good reason to stay in the bathroom so long." patrick leans back on the bed, looking up to his smirking friend. "enlighten me," you enter art's room, having heard the whole conversation. "i think that good reason he's talking about might be me." you stand before the boys, holding your hands behind your back, faking innocence. "holy shit, you finally fucked her?" patrick jumps up, hugging his friend. "and in the bathroom, while on a date with someone else, i'm so proud."

[munson-blurbs]

for the meet-cute event, can you write a blurb about Eddie meeting an introverted girl who also likes dungeons and dragons? maybe he sees a D20 pin on her bag or they're in a game store and he strikes up a conversation there? ❤️ love u bestie, im so glad you began writing fanfic because I wouldn't have met you or red and then we wouldn't be married

Your meet cute happens in a Creative Writing class (featuring the College AU Eddie I know you adore)!

CW: College AU, shy!Reader WC: 542 Divider credit to @hellfire--cult

You loved the first day of the semester. Everything was just so new. New courses, new professors, even the crisp new syllabi had you excited for the next sixteen weeks. 

Nerdy? Perhaps. But you embraced it wholeheartedly. 

Your first class today was an elective: Creative Writing. Something to help balance out the heavier courses you needed for your major. 

Sliding into an empty desk in the second row, you took a fresh notebook and a blue pen out of your backpack and placed the bag on the floor. The D20 pin on the front pocket pinged when it touched the metal table leg.  

“Holy shit!”

You whipped around to see a lanky, curly-haired guy leaning out of his seat from the back row. He looked at your bag, then up at you.

“Is that a D20?” His chocolate brown eyes were alight with excitement. 

Nodding, you forced yourself to focus on making conversation instead of how good looking this man was. You allowed your gaze to linger long enough to notice the litany of tattoos that decorated his arms. Bats, some sort of marionette…

The guy grinned. “You, uh you play?”

Another nod. Christ, say something. “Y-Yeah. I mean, I have a group back home. I don’t really know anyone here who plays,” you stuttered, hoping he couldn’t sense your nervousness. He was cute. Really cute.

He stretched out his hand, not caring that he bumped the arm of the person sitting in front of him. “Well, now you do. Eddie Munson, Dungeon Master. At your service.”

You took his hand and shook it, his grip firm but kind and his palm callused. Did you hold onto it for too long? Oh my God, you definitely did, and you definitely made things awkward.

To your surprise–and relief–Eddie didn’t jerk back in disgust. Nor did he look at you with any sort of pity. Instead, he leaned back in his seat with a knowing smile. “I’m starting up another campaign this week,” he said. “Our group meets Thursdays in the Porter Hall common room, second floor, at six PM. And we always order pizza or something so we don’t, y’know, starve to death.”

His dramatics brought a smile to your own face. “It would be pretty hard to slaughter our enemies on empty stomachs.”

“Exactly.” Eddie pointed a ringed finger at you. “I’m nothing if not a fair leader.”

“I can bring snacks, too,” you offered. It was the least you could do, considering he had extended the invitation to join in the first place.

Eddie placed a hand on his heart in exaggerated appreciation. “An angel on Earth. I’ll never turn down snacks. And if you got some of those ruffly potato chips, you’d be my personal hero.” 

“I think I can do that.”

“Great.” Eddie looked like he had more to say, but the professor walked in then, so he just let out a sigh. “Let me walk you back to the dorms after class? I’d love to discuss some campaign ideas with a fellow DnD nerd.”

Your top tooth dug into your lower lip as you nodded again. Something fluttered in your stomach that couldn’t be satiated with ruffly potato chips. 

The end of the lecture wouldn’t arrive fast enough. 

--

[wosola]

French kisses .1 - Lucy Bronze x French!Reader

Hey everyone! I’m J. I used to write fanfiction on Wattpad for another fandom, but for a while now, I’ve mostly just been reading. Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time on AO3, where I started reading WoSo fanfics and fell into @bruhnze’s incredible works. After reading everything she’d published, I found her on Tumblr.

Recently, @bruhnze announced she was taking a break from writing. We connected, and I had the absolute honor of reading through her WIPs. One of them really inspired me, so I asked if I could finish it—and she said yes!

Originally planned as a single fic, this story grew into a 3-parter as I worked on it 🫣😅 Long story short: WIP by @bruhnze, finished by me, and proofread by her.

Summary: This is during Lucy Bronze’s time playing for Lyon, she's just gotten into a relationship with R, a 22-year-old student. For R it is the first time sleeping with someone. Based on this request, from the☀️anon over on @bruhnze.

Warnings: This is an 18+ fanfic with explicit content, so minors do not interact.

You had grown up in Lyon, lived there all your life. It had never been particularly eventful—your life was great, really. You loved your studies, had a close-knit group of friends, and there wasn’t much more to it.

The only thing that seemed to be missing, or at least it was something that was out of sync with your friends, was your love life. At 22, you had never really had one. While everyone around you seemed to be hooking up left, right and center, it never quite worked out that way for you. Not that you didn’t want to; you did.

It was just that you had never met anyone who stirred something in you in your everyday life. Sure, you’d kissed people now and then, but whenever things started to go further, you found yourself pulling back.

As time passed, being a virgin at your big age started to feel a bit strange. You were well past the point where a one-night stand felt like the right way to lose your virginity. Maybe it was because you didn’t know how to navigate all of that, or maybe you were worried that whoever you were with wouldn’t expect it and you’d feel awkward.

But in the blessed year 2017, as fate would have it, everything changed when you met a cute English girl in the local supermarché.

She had been struggling to find something on the shelves, her expression a mix of confusion and determination, when you decided to offer her a hand. The girl, who introduced herself as Lucy, explained in broken French that she had just moved to Lyon.

You helped her find what she was looking for, and as a thank you, Lucy asked for your number. You laughed and teased her, asking what she planned to do with it.

She had grinned, the corners of her eyes crinkling, and in her charmingly imperfect French, she replied, "the least I can do is buy the pretty girl who helped me a dinner." That made you laugh harder, and when you joked about her not knowing any good restaurants yet, she just shrugged and said, "then you can decide where we go."

She had this boldness that was as charming as it was disarming—and, okay, maybe her being absurdly good-looking didn’t hurt in swaying your answer either. It was a yes without doubt, however towards Lucy you stayed a bit more unfazed.

That was a few months ago. Now, Lucy was much more comfortable with her French, picking it up quicker than you’d expected.

And not only was the woman smart, she was also incredibly athletic, which you'd noticed from the start. But on your fifth date, when you two had gone swimming, you couldn’t help but be floored by how fit she really was.

It wasn’t just her body, though—Lucy was thoughtful, kind, funny and so much more. You saw that side of her when she came with you to visit your grandpa in the hospital, bringing him a Lyon shirt signed by a player as a gift. You almost cried, you’d only mentioned that your grandpa was a life long fan of the club and here she was, gifting a signed shirt to him?!

That’s how you found out she was a footballer. Lucy had handed the signed jersey to your grandfather, grinning with that mischievous spark in her eye. “Hope you don’t mind it’s from a pretty new signing,” she’d teased. Then, with a playful glint, she added, “But I’ve heard she’s world-class. Do you know any players from Olympique Lyonnais Féminin? I can get another autograph if this one doesn’t impress you.”

Without skipping a beat, your grandfather, his face lighting up, assured her he did, mentioning that he always tried to catch matches, even if he mostly had to listen rather than watch due to his eyesight. “This is number 22, Bronze. She’s a great defender,” he said with pride. “I was thrilled when they signed her. Do you know her from England, or how did you manage to get this autograph?”

Your jaw nearly dropped as you glanced over at Lucy, who was barely holding back a smile.

“Yeah, you could say I’m close with her. Some say we’re practically twins,” she joked before reaching out to shake his hand. “But actually, I am Lucy Bronze. Nice to meet you, sir.”

Your grandfather’s laughter was as genuine as you’d heard in ages, his disbelief quickly turning into a delighted grin. It was as if he couldn’t believe his luck.

“I won’t let you down,” she told him, her voice softer, promising. “We’ll bring home the Champions League for Lyon.”

-

You’d been dating for three months now, and things were going great. Lucy had met your friends, and they adored her. You told her early on that you wanted to take things slow, and she had been nothing but understanding. She didn’t want to rush things either, but she wasn’t afraid to show you how much she liked you. Everything felt so natural with her, as if it was meant to be.

There was a dinner planned with your parents this Sunday, tomorrow she had a match, but today was one of her rest days after a Champions League game.

After a relaxed afternoon strolling around the city, shopping for a birthday gift for a friend, Lucy insisted on stopping by the supermarket. She wanted to cook at home, saying she wanted a romantic night with you. You agreed, and soon, you were back at your apartment, where you spent more time kissing than actually cooking.

It had been happening more and more recently—lingering touches, playful kisses that turned into longer, deeper ones. Every time, though, it stopped before it could go too far. Sometimes it felt natural, like you both were happy to just be together, but other times it felt more abrupt, leaving your heart racing. You wanted her, of course—how could you not?—but there was still that one thing you hadn’t told her yet, and it held you back.

Lucy had noticed. She’d asked a few times, worried that you might’ve had bad experiences in the past, but you assured her that wasn’t the case. You just wanted to take your time, and she had been so patient with you, always respecting your boundaries. Sometimes recently, it was even Lucy who would pull back, smiling at you sweetly, her eyes filled with desire but also understanding.

You loved her. You wanted to share everything with her, every part of yourself.

Twice now, she had stayed the night at your place. She had offered to sleep in separate beds, but you had waved that away, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep cuddled up next to her.

And now, after watching her play last night and lying awake, tossing and turning, you had decided that you were ready to tell her what had been holding you back.

You wanted, ached, to explore this part of your relationship, and tonight, with the romantic dinner she planned, felt like the perfect moment.

Now you were here, a lovely dinner behind your belt.. fidgeting with your wine glass, noticing that strangely enough, Lucy seemed a bit nervous too.

You both spoke up at the same time.

“Y/N—” “Luce—”

Breathy laughter filled the air, easing some of the tension you both seemed to be holding. “You go,” you said in unison again, which only made you laugh harder.

You gently took her hands in yours. “No, you go, baby.”

“Baby..,” Lucy repeated slowly, as if she was rolling the word around in her mouth, trying to make up if she liked the taste of it, her eyes searching your face.

Your heart skipped a beat. Shit. Did she not like that? You had been using the term more and more recently, thinking you were both building toward something more, maybe even thinking of her as your girlfriend already. Panic crept in until Lucy's voice broke through your spiraling thoughts.

“I thought,” she began, tightening her grip on your hands, “that it was about time… that I asked you to be my girlfriend.” Her words tumbled out quickly, like she was nervous. “I know you want to take things really slow,” she added, rambling a little, “but I just really, really, really like you. More than that even.” She let out a breathy laugh, glancing away for a second, before her gaze settled back on yours. “But I won’t scare you with that just yet. What I’m trying to say is... I want to call you my girlfriend. So, um… if you—”

“Oui!” you cut her off, the word bursting from you with so much enthusiasm that it took you both by surprise. You felt your face flush with heat as you quickly added, “Uh, yes, Lucy, I love you too—” You stopped mid-sentence, blushing furiously. “I-I mean, I’d love to be your girlfriend,” you corrected, your voice softer but no less sincere.

Lucy’s smile stretched from ear to ear as she stood up from her seat, and you rose to meet her. The moment felt so perfect, so right.

She kissed you, a kiss filled with warmth and love, and you returned it with all the affection you’d been building up for this woman for months now. God, you were in love.

After a few long moments, you pulled back, your heart pounding. You knew you still had to tell her the other thing. But Lucy was looking at you with such softness in her eyes, her face lit with joy. You couldn’t help but brush your thumbs along her cheeks, feeling the heat of her skin under your touch.

“Love me huh?” Lucy teased at your little slip of the tongue earlier, her voice low and playful.

You chuckled, your nerves easing slightly. “Yes, I love you, Luce, je t'aime” you admitted, voicing the words felt like lifting a weight off your chest.

“Hmmm…” Lucy hummed, her grin widening as she buried her face in the crook of your neck. “That makes me really happy. I love you too,” she whispered, her breath warm against your skin.

Before you knew it, Lucy’s hands had moved to cup your ass, lifting you up effortlessly. You squealed in surprise, even though she had done this before—it caught you off guard. Maybe because you still had to tell that other thing. But you couldn’t help but laugh as she carried you over to the couch, sitting down with you perched on her lap.

Both of you dissolved into giggles as you peppered each other’s faces with kisses, one after another. “I am so in love with you,” you murmured between kisses, your forehead resting gently against hers as you gazed into her eyes.

Lucy laughed, her nose brushing against yours. “It’s funny that we both wanted to tell each other that tonight,” she said, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

Your cheeks flushed again, this time not just from the affection but from what you knew you had to say next. “I… I also…” you stammered, trying to find the right words. Lucy tilted her head, a curious smile tugging at her lips as she waited patiently.

“I also wanted.. uh no.. needed.. to tell you something else,” you finally managed, your voice a little shaky.

“Oh?” Lucy’s eyebrows lifted slightly, her expression soft. “Is it… a good thing?”

You bit your lip, unsure. “I’d…uh.. I’d say it’s more of a neutral thing?” you said, trying to ease into it.

Lucy smiled, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze as she leaned back against the couch. “Okay. Whatever it is, you can tell me. You know that, right?”

You nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yes, I know. It’s just… hard for me to say, I guess.” You could feel your nerves bubbling up again. “I’m sorry for keeping it from you, but I didn’t know how to bring it up.”

Lucy’s gaze was steady, encouraging. “Hey, there’s nothing to apologize for,” she said softly. “Take your time.”

“I… I have never…” You struggled to find the right words, but they just wouldn’t come. “I mean, I know how everything works, of course, but I’ve just… never actually… done it.” The words tumbled out awkwardly, and you quickly looked down, embarrassed.

Lucy was quiet for a long moment, so long that you finally forced yourself to glance up at her. To your surprise, her expression hadn’t changed—she was still looking at you with warmth and understanding.

“Hey,” she whispered, her thumb brushing over your lower lip, gently freeing it from between your teeth where you’d been nervously biting it. “Thank you for telling me.”

You groaned, your forehead dropping against her collarbone. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and relief.

Lucy chuckled softly, her hand smoothing over your back. “Sorry for what? Like you said, it’s a neutral thing. There’s nothing to be sorry about.” She tilted your chin up so you could meet her eyes again. “I’m just happy you told me. Now I understand why we always stopped when we did.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and smiled shyly. Lucy’s hands found their way to your cheeks again, cupping your face with such tenderness that you couldn’t help but feel safe.

The two of you stared at each other, the weight of the moment sinking in before both of you burst into soft, breathy giggles, the tension dissolving.

You both had ended up lying down on the couch, nestled against each other in a comfortable silence. Lucy’s arm was around your waist, your head resting on her chest as you listened to the steady rhythm of her breathing. The warmth of her body and the way her fingers absentmindedly traced small circles on your arm made you feel calm, safe.

It must have been at least half an hour before you finally worked up the courage to speak.

“So… how do you, uh, want to do things?” you asked, your voice soft, almost hesitant.

Lucy tilted her head slightly, meeting your gaze with a curious look. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” she responded, her voice gentle, as if she were afraid of pressuring you. “I mean… I want to do whatever you want, however you want, and when you want it.”

Her words made you smile, a soft chuckle escaping your lips. She was always so thoughtful, so patient. But the truth was, you had been thinking about this for a while now. You swallowed hard, trying to push past the embarrassment rising in your chest. “I feel like I’m ready,” you began, but the words felt heavy in your throat.

Lucy’s expression softened even more, her hand rubbing soothingly along your back, waiting for you to continue.

“That’s… I…” Your face flushed bright red as you tried to find the right words. You couldn’t tell her just how ready you were without blushing even harder.

The truth was, ever since you and Lucy had started dating, you had never felt this kind of desire before. In the past few weeks, your own body had been betraying you, and the thought of Lucy, had been invading your mind, especially when you were alone. You had never been so… wanting. It was like something in you had awakened. It wasn’t just the emotional connection—you physically craved her.

“Uhm… it’s been hard,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, “not going further than kissing with you.” Your cheeks burned even more as you confessed, “But I felt like I needed to tell you this first before we went further… it was hard for me to confess.. I feel a bit.. uhm.. behind?”

Lucy’s thumb gently stroked your cheek, silently urging you to continue, her face calm and open.

“I’ve been thinking about… you,” you admitted, your voice faltering slightly. The vulnerability of the statement hung between you, the air thick with it. “A lot.”

Lucy’s lips curved into a small, tender smile as she listened. She didn’t laugh or tease you like you might’ve feared. Instead, she looked at you with a warmth that made your heart flutter in your chest.

“I’ve been thinking about you too,” she said quietly, her voice sincere. “But I didn’t want to push you, and I didn’t want to rush into anything until you felt ready. I wanted to respect your boundaries and I am really happy you told me this before we went further, and you’re not behind at all by the way, everyone does things at their own pace.”

You nodded, appreciating her patience but feeling the need for honesty. “But really I… I’ve been more than ready,” you repeated, the words rushing out now that you had started. “It’s been hard for me to hold back. I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t want to… you know, go further with you. I’ve just never… done it before.” You didn’t know why you were repeating yourself, maybe to bring over to Lucy how much you meant it.

Lucy nodded, her hand moving to intertwine with yours. “I get it,” she said softly. “I’m really glad you told me. I want you to feel comfortable with whatever we do, and I don’t want you to feel like there’s any pressure.” She paused for a moment, searching your face. “But when you’re ready, whenever that is, I’m here. We’ll take it slow, together.”

You smiled, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. “Thank you,” you whispered, resting your forehead against hers.

Lucy sighed contentedly as she lay beneath you on the couch, her fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on your arm. After a moment, she cleared her throat, breaking the comfortable silence.

“So, um… your parents,” she started, her voice tentative. “Sunday dinner, huh? What’s that going to be like?”

You blinked, a little caught off guard by the shift in conversation. “What about it?” you asked, propping yourself up slightly to look at her.

Lucy gave a small, nervous laugh. “I don’t know, like… have you told them anything about me? Do they know we’re dating, or is this going to be a complete surprise?” She bit her lip, clearly a little anxious. “I just want to make sure I don’t mess this up.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle softly. “Why are you thinking about that right now?” you asked, your tone playful as you began trailing soft kisses along her neck, nuzzling into the warmth of her skin.

Lucy let out a breathy laugh, though her body tensed slightly under your touch. “I—uh… I just don’t want to screw it up. Are you sure you really want to do this right now?” she asked, her voice hesitant.

She turned her head to look at you, concern flickering in her eyes. “I don’t want to rush you, y/n.”

You giggled against her neck, pressing a kiss just below her ear. “Three months isn’t enough of a wait for you?” you teased, a smile tugging at your lips.

Lucy chuckled, her body relaxing slightly as she looked up at you, her nerves fading a little. “Okay… so the dams have really broken now, haven’t they?” She raised her eyebrows, amused.

“Well, now that I’ve told you, and you didn’t get scared away... I have to admit, I’m kind of excited. I mean…” you grinned sheepishly. “I find you really attractive.”

She smiled as you moved your hand under her shirt, your fingertips brushing against her warm skin, you whispered, “I’m in love with you, Luce. I want to share that part of myself with you, too. And you know…” You paused, leaning down to kiss her collarbone. “Je sais à quel point tu es bon au football, alors je ne peux qu’imaginer que tes talents athlétiques s’étendent au-delà de ce jeu…’’ You whispered.  

Lucy giggled, swatting at you playfully. “Oh, you’re cheeky,” she said, her eyes twinkling with mischief. But she glanced up at the ceiling with a grin and added, “Are you sure you’ve got no experience at all? It feels like I’m more out of it than you are right now.”

You sat up a little, shifting so that you were straddling her hips, your hands resting lightly on her stomach. You raised an eyebrow, curious. “Oh?” you asked, smirking slightly. “Has it been long for you?”

Lucy bit her lip, her gaze dropping for a moment before she admitted, “Maybe… half a year? I don’t know.”

“Versus 22 years,” you teased, rolling your eyes giggling. “I think I win.”

Lucy grinned, sitting up to face you, her hands resting on your waist. “Mmm, no. I think I win.” She leaned in closer, her eyes sparkling with affection. “I’ve got the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life sitting on my lap right now.”

You felt your cheeks grow warm, your heart swelled in your chest. But instead of letting yourself get lost in the emotion, you smirked, leaning in close until your lips hovered just inches from hers. “Mmm, really?” you teased softly. “Tell me more…”

Lucy’s expression turned serious, though her eyes were still playful. “I mean it, y/n. Now that I know how much this means to you, I want it to be special… really special. I always wanted that for us, but now it feels even more important.”

You rolled your eyes in playful disbelief, letting out a dramatic sigh. “Mon chéri,” you whispered, brushing a kiss over her cheek, “we just had the most romantic dinner, confessed our love—I'd say that’s pretty perfect already, wouldn’t you? Besides, it’s already special because it’s with you, my love, you are the only person I could think of doing this with.”

Lucy’s smile deepened, and she reached up to brush her thumb along your cheek. “Perfect, sure,” she mused. “But… candles, flowers, fresh sheets…” She bit her lip, ‘’in my head I was going all out for you, I am not even wearing my good underwear, amour.’’

You chuckled, thinking of your preparations for today. ‘’I am.’’

You watched her pupils dilate, her eyes widening in surprise, and she swallowed hard, clearly taken aback. “Oh,” she said in a breathy tone, as if she had just forgotten how to speak.

You chuckled, watching her shift, almost flustered. “Are you getting shy, Luce?”

“No! It’s just that… I don’t know,” she stammered, running a hand through her hair, clearly struggling to keep her composure. “I really want to keep things slow, to be respectful and everything, but when you say things like that…” She scratched her neck, her voice barely a whisper, “it’s… hard to...”

“Hard to what?” you asked, delighted to see her cheeks flush, a sight you didn’t often get to see from her.

Lucy groaned, leaning back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s hard for me not to think about… taking things a little faster than planned.” Her voice came out all at once, as if she’d been holding it back.

You leaned in, your lips just grazing hers. “Well, what’s wrong with those thoughts, then?” you asked, teasingly brushing your fingers along her neck.

She exhaled softly, biting her lip as she hesitated. “Let’s… wait until after I’ve met your parents,” she finally managed, pulling back slightly, though it was clear that it took effort.

Your smile faltered, confusion and a hint of disappointment washing over you. “Oh… I thought…” You shifted off her, sitting up and moving to your own spot on the couch, feeling uncertain.

Lucy’s hand instinctively reached for yours, her expression tinged with a hint of panic. “No, no—y/n, it’s not that I don’t want to! I do, more than you know.” She looked down, as if gathering her thoughts. “I just thought, well, when you mentioned meeting your parents on Sunday, I figured it was important to you to wait until after that step.” She paused, glancing up at you with earnest eyes. “I actually had… this plan in my head for next week. Thursday, to be exact.”

You blinked, intrigued and slightly amused by her meticulousness. “You have… a plan?”

“Yeah,” she said, scratching her neck in that adorable way that always made you smile. “I even talked to your housemate to make sure she’d be out for the night. I thought, you know, after we’re official and all…” She laughed softly, glancing down shyly. “I was going to surprise you with candles, flowers, everything. It’d be in your own bed, so you’d be comfortable.” She pressed a hand to her chest, her cheeks flushed. “I didn’t want to pressure you, of course, but I wanted it to be right for you—like, um… create a perfect moment for us.”

Your heart melted as you listened, and you could hardly contain the adoration shining in your eyes. Here was this amazing, thoughtful woman who loved you so deeply, wanting everything to be perfect.

“Luce, you’re… adorable,” you murmured, leaning in to kiss her, your heart overflowing with love and gratitude for such an incredible girlfriend.

You could feel the heat and intensity building between you, like two magnets drawn together. Your mouths met in a deep, fervent kiss, a silent conversation of everything you hadn’t said and all the things you were both holding back. It was a kiss full of promises, anticipation crackling in the air around you.

As the kiss deepened, Lucy’s hand slipped to your waist, and you let yourself sink into her warmth, into her presence.

After a moment, you pulled back just slightly, a small smirk crossing your face. “Are we sure we want to wait until next week?” you whispered, your voice low. “Today is a Thursday too.”

She took a deep breath, nervous laughter lighting up the room. “Well, I don’t know if I want that, but I think it would be best, so yes, I think I want that.”

“Thursday can’t come soon enough,” you groaned.

You both laughed, the intensity giving way to a moment of lightheartedness as you laid together, feeling secure, knowing that when the time was right, it would be everything you both had been waiting for.

After a while Lucy scooped you up into her arms effortlessly, grinning as you let out a surprised laugh. She headed toward the bedroom, ignoring your glance back at the kitchen.

“We really should clean up first,” you protested lightly, glancing over her shoulder at the table still set with empty plates and a bottle of wine.

Lucy shook her head, a smirk playing on her lips. “Nope,” she said, nudging the bedroom door open with her hip. “Tonight we can cuddle, tomorrow we’ll worry about that again.”

Once in the bedroom, Lucy set you down at the edge of the bed.

You felt your cheeks warm as you began to undress, carefully slipping out of your top, suddenly hyperaware of her eyes on you. You hesitated, noticing she’d turned her head away slightly, as if trying to give you privacy, even now.

“No, you can look,” you murmured softly, smiling as her gaze shifted back to you, her eyes meeting yours with such warmth that your heart fluttered. “You’re my girlfriend,” you added, the last word feeling new and sweet on your lips.

Lucy’s gaze traveled over you slowly, and you felt a blush rising to your cheeks as you slipped out of your top and bra, letting them fall softly to the floor. For the first time, her eyes settled on the bare skin of your chest, and you could see her breath catch for a moment, her lips parting as she took you in.

You felt a mix of warmth and shyness under her gaze, but her expression was so open, so purely admiring, that you felt at ease. When her gaze lifted to yours, her eyes held a soft awe that made your heart skip. “You’re beautiful,” she murmured, her voice barely a whisper.

You smiled, feeling both vulnerable and cherished in that moment, before turning to her closet and reaching for one of her oversized shirts to slip on. As you lifted it over your head, Lucy let out a little chuckle, recovering herself, and as she undressed down to her boxers and sports bra, her cheeks were pink.

Once undressed, you both climbed into bed, buried under the comforter as you found each other in the dim light, legs tangling together. She pulled you close, and her mouth met yours again, warm and gentle.

The kiss deepened, lips moving slowly, savoring each touch, each taste. Lucy’s hand rested on the small of your back, sliding upward with a feather-light touch that sent soft tingles across your skin. You felt a pleasant, fluttering warmth in your stomach as her fingers brushed over you.

Your own hands explored her too, grazing the line of her jaw, the smooth skin of her shoulder, and then down to her waist, lingering as you took in every detail. With every kiss, your heart raced faster, your body responding to her closeness, feeling both electric and calm at once.

But just as things were growing more intense, you felt a faint pulse of nerves, next Thursday was maybe not so bad. “Wait,” you whispered, smiling softly, though your cheeks were warm. “We haven’t brushed our teeth yet.”

Lucy paused, her eyes immediately searching yours, understanding lighting up in her gaze. She brushed a gentle hand over your cheek, offering a reassuring smile. “Totally forgot,” she said softly. Her hand found yours as she guided you to the bathroom, fingers intertwined as you both stood side by side at the sink.

You shared smiles as you brushed your teeth together, Lucy’s shoulder bumping lightly against yours, and even things like this simple routine felt special in her presence.

As you finished, you turned to find her already smiling, her hand reaching up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

Back in bed, Lucy wrapped her arm around you as you nestled close, her hand resting comfortably over your hip. You let yourself settle, your head on her chest, listening to the steady beat of her heart, your own hand resting on her stomach, feeling the warmth of her skin and the gentle rise and fall of her breathing.

In the quiet, with Lucy’s arm wrapped around you and her hand softly resting on you, sleep came easily, and the last thing you heard before drifting off was the sound of her breathing, steady and warm, and the quiet, whispered words she murmured just before you both faded into dreams; “Goodnight, my love.”

-

I hope you guys like this, I felt a bit rusty writing again, but I think in the future I might be writing more woso fics.

Part 2 of this will follow soon!

-J.

[laurawaldorf]

Hello! Finally our little Em Fanfic Fandom have more writers!

Can I request 000's Eminem falling for Rockstar!Reader that have a baby (Baby Daddy no present) she always bring everywhere and even steals some attetion to him? :b

🎸⋆°. 𝗦𝗡𝗔𝗣 𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗜𝗧.

⠀⠀────────────────────

| 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚: Marshall Mathers III (Eminem) x Rockstar!Fem!Reader.

| 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘: Fluffy.

| 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: N/A.

| 𝗥𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗗: yes.

| 𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗚 𝗜𝗡𝗦𝗣𝗜𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: Snap Out Of It — Arctic Monkeys.

( hey! i loved your request, I had a lot of fun writing it! I hope you like it. 🤍 )

⠀⠀────────────────────

The noise of screams and applause filled the structure of the stadium where your rock band performed, you looked kindly at all the people who admired your art as you said goodbye with a wide smile after ending your show in New York.

— Thank you everyone for your support! Tonight was a very special night for us, New York! — You expressed with a vibrant smile, listening to all the love your fans had for you and your band.

The stage lights went dark, and you went backstage where your band team was with your youngest daughter, Remy, just two years old. You've always attracted a lot of attention in the industry, for being a successful rock singer with a successful band and a single mother who would do anything for your daughter, something Remy's father wouldn't do the same, he never did the least to get to know her after birth, leaving you alone to take care of a child, however, you did everything you could to fulfill your part of being a mother and a father in your daughter's life even with your busy schedule.

A happy smile spread across your lips as you picked up your daughter, your eyes sparkled when you saw that little child who had saved your life in so many ways. The other band members had the same loving smile for your daughter. The bassist, Mandy, approached Remy with a sweet smile.

— She's so cute! — Mandy said, stroking the little child's cheeks. — I saw a recording of her playing with the guitars, it was really cute!

You responded to the bassist with a smirk, looking up at the other woman, listening to the baby giggles that your daughter gave when she felt Mandy's touch on her cheeks.

— She sure is, Remy is passionate about guitars, maybe I'll give her one as a gift for her birthday. — You replied, turning your gaze to the child again.

On the other side of the dressing room, the guitarist named Axel who was adjusting the strings on his guitar was smiling at you and Remy.

— Maybe she'll be a guitarist like me, I'm really incredible. — He said in a cocky and fun way, making you laugh. — Yo, there's going to be a party at Dr Dre's mansion in a little while… are you going?

Mandy just let out a sideways smile and crossed her arms, throwing herself onto the small sofa there:

— I still don't know how you have contact with these Hip-Hop people...but I will go, will you, Y/N? — The bassist asked, looking up at you.

You continued to look at the girl in your arms, with your lips pressed together as you rubbed the back of your head in a tone of doubt.

— I will stay, Remy must be tired and she has school tomorrow...I'll stay at home. — You explained, raising your gaze to the two members who looked at him with an understanding look.

— That's fair. — Axel paused with a light sigh. — So, Mandy now call the other members because our car should already be waiting.

— Okay, we'll give you two a ride too, Y/N. — Mandy said, looking at Remy with a smirk.

⠀⠀────────────────────

After a few weeks of your show, your performance was a complete success, it became news in all media and tabloids in all magazines. Your band's songs were played on different types of radio, from rock to pop, and it was also a constant question for some artists in interviews.

You were in your large apartment in downtown New York, in the kitchen as you prepared lunch for you and Remy while your daughter watched a random cartoon in the living room. You cut the vegetables and put them in the pan with bubbling water, your radio on the counter played some songs until you started an interview with Eminem, the rapper who was at the height of his career like you and who had already mentioned you in some songs.

You didn't pay much attention to the interview until the people hosting the interview mentioned your show and you, which made your interest grow quickly and take your attention completely to the radio.

— Yo, Em, I don't know if you're probably aware, but Y/N did a wonderful show a few weeks ago, we were impressed with how she managed to give such an authentic and captivating performance even though she just entered the industry. You've already mentioned her in some of your songs, how do you feel about her? — The interviewer asked, his voice squeaking slightly over the sound of the radio.

— To be more exact, I really admire what she and her band do. I was at the show with Proof watching her and it was…wow. As an artist, she has a lot of potential, and as a father...I see her as an inspiration, even though she is a single mother and has a huge career, she manages to be present in her daughter's life, and that is something to admire...In fact, If Y/N needs a candidate to be her daughter's stepfather, I'll volunteer. — Marshall said, in a joking tone that made all the interviewers laugh at the situation.

The whole situation left you with rosy cheeks and a silly smile on your lips, Marshall seemed like a nice guy, and who was also going through the same situation of being a single father after his divorce with his ex-wife, Kimberly. You felt a depth of truth behind his playful words, and that typical feeling of butterflies began to form in your stomach.

Your thoughts were quickly cut short after the sound of the landline telephone in the hallway of the apartment began to echo through the wall, making you turn off the stove and wipe your hands on the cloth on the counter, going over to the device.

Your hands went to the phone and placed it in your left ear, your silly smile remained on your face without realizing it.

— Hello?- — You were quickly interrupted by Mandy's excited voice coming from the other end of the line.

— Did you see what Eminem said about you on the radio? Girl, he's so into you! — The bassist's lively voice was mixed with some laughter.

You tilted your head slightly to the left side, pressing the fingers of your free hand to your lips.

— I saw…and did you see that he was at our show? But he was just joking, don’t be crazy. — You shrugged your shoulders, trying to convince yourself that it was just his joke.

However, Mandy wasn't convinced, she just rolled her eyes and snorted upon hearing your comment.

— You're always like that...it's clear he wants to talk to you! Look, Axel said that 50 is going to have a party and Eminem will be there, you go and I'll take care of Remy without any problems, you need to go! — The other woman said, you could feel her mischievous smile on the other end of the phone line.

Internally, you felt like you were going to explode. Your mind screamed for you to go and your skin heated up just thinking about talking to him, the blush on your cheeks became even more apparent and your smile grew even more.

— Okay...when is this party? I'll try to go. — You said in a shy tone, letting out a shaky breath.

The bassist let out a scream of joy upon hearing your question, and a proud smile formed on her lips.

— This Saturday! You have to go, choose your best outfit! — Ordered the other woman, ending the call without giving you a chance to respond or argue against it.

⠀⠀────────────────────

The noise of Hip-Hop music and people having fun filled the air at 50 Cent's mansion, where the grand party that Mandy had mentioned to you days before was taking place.

You looked around and saw different artists having fun, drinking and even kissing in the corners of the room. You leaned on the bar counter in the center of the living room, while adjusting a black mini skirt and your black leather jacket with burgundy red details. In the other corner of the room, Marshall Mathers was watching you with a smirk on his lips, his gaze discreetly admiring your face and body, and by his side, there was his best friend Proof, who was observing the scene.

Without patience, Proof took his hands to the other rapper's shoulders and shook him lightly, making Eminem's gaze go to him.

— Are you going to stare at her like a idiot or go talk to her? — The boy asked, pulling his best friend out of his mental trance.

Marshall just muttered a small “Hm?” and again raised his gaze to you, swallowing dryly.

— I don't know, man... I don't know if she liked the “joke” I made on the radio. — Said the rapper, shrugging his shoulders and taking some of his drink to clear his throat.

The other boy just snorted and rolled his eyes, moving away from his best friend and looking up at you, letting out a sigh:

— If you don't go to her, she'll think you're just another cowardly dumbass! Go, man! — Proof replied, trying to encourage Marshall.

After a few minutes of mental preparation and encouragement from Proof, Eminem approached in slow and awkward steps, he quickened his breathing with each step he took and the closer he got to you.

You noticed someone approaching from behind, so you gently turned your head back and your gaze quickly landed on the rapper, which made your heart stop for a few seconds.

Marshall had the same reaction, his heart accelerated a little more when he saw your face and he felt his own body betray him, feeling his knees shaking as he tried to keep his posture upright.

— Yo, Y/N, right? — Marshall tried to start a conversation, feeling a spike of adrenaline in his heart palpitate.

Your hands felt cold and a shiver ran down your spine as you heard his voice mix with the sound of the party's loud music.

— Yes, it’s me... it's a pleasure to meet you, Marshall. — You replied, letting a sideways smile escape.

The blonde felt goosebumps on his skin when he heard you say his name, he knew he had a small crush on you...but he didn't know it was so intense.

— It’s nice to meet you too, so…I don’t know if you’ve listened to the radio lately, but I wanted to apologize if I offended you by the joke I made in that interview. — You could hear him slurring his own words in a nervous way, gesturing with his hands.

— It's okay, really. I even liked your joke, it was cute. — You answered him in the same way, your words escaping your mouths without thinking.

A spike of shame hit your heart as you realized what you had said, a red blush marked your cheeks as you widened your eyes slightly.

— Ah, so it's okay...do you mind if I buy you a drink? — The rapper asked, his nervousness slowly disappearing when he noticed the look on his face, his lips curling into a proud smile.

— I would love. — You replied, letting out a calm sigh.

⠀⠀────────────────────

The rest of the night went well, the conversation between you and Marshall flowed better than you expected.

It was interesting to see the industry's most feared rapper be so kind and completely interesting and funny. At the moment, you were outside the party, observing the dark sky full of stars contrasting with the lights that the buildings that New York emitted.

— So...I heard there's a super cool bar near here, want to go with me? Just the two of us. — Marshall said, stroking your right hand gently.

— I'd love to, Em. — You replied, intertwining your fingers with his.

[axelsagewrites]

Pls write some more yara Greyjoy either fluff or smut. I love your fanfics so much 😌

Yara Greyjoy*Flirting

Pairing: Yara x f!targ!reader

Word count: 645

Warnings: none

Masterlist here

You were the youngest of your siblings and it made Danny cling to you. She made sure to protect you, never leaving your side until she was sure you were safe. It had left you a little sheltered to say the least, not that she’d ever let anyone tell you that.

Recently she’d started bringing you to council meetings and when she met with ambassadors. The latest person to request her presence was none other than Yara Greyjoy. Her eyes were focused on the queen, a slight smirk edging onto the outskirts of her lips as she spoke.

You tried to listen to the words, but you couldn’t help but be distracted be her. you had been taught beauty was in dresses, silks, and jewels by your brother, but Yara was beautiful like a dragon. Her leather trousers framed her legs perfectly, her shoulders broad and strong, and her eyes looked like they held the knowledge of the world.

“And I imagine your offer is free of any marriage demands?” your sisters voice brought you back into reality.

Yara’s lips quirked into a smirk, “I never demand,” she started, her eyes lazily falling to you, “but I’m for anything really,” she said, drawing her eyes back to your sister but there was already a hot blush scolding your cheeks.

You were stood beside Danny, but you didn’t need to see her face to know she wore her own smirk. You tried to be calm, keep unnoticed for the rest of the discussion but after asking for independence you couldn’t help but retort after Tyrion spoke, “What if everyone starts demanding their independence?”

“She’s not demanding. She’s asking,” you said, your voice soft but the fact you spoke at all caught them both off guard. Danny turned to you, raising a single eyebrow. You glanced back towards the Ironborn siblings and back to your own, giving a single nod back. it was all you had to do for Danny to know your position and Tyrion to be reminded of his.

-

Later that evening you were heading towards the hall for dinner when you felt someone’s hand grab your arm. Your head wiped around, eyes wide, only to be met with a smirk. “I’m sorry princess. I did not mean to startle you,” Yara said, her smirk smalling into a soft smile as she looked down at your dress, “I like the fabric. I was never one for frills,”

“I wasn’t either. Till recently at least,”

She chuckled a little, “I’ve only heard snippets about you, but I can imagine your story must be quite interesting,” her eyes were so captivating that the world around you seemed to stop.

“Hardly,” you laughed softly, “Yours though I imagine must be fascinating. I admire a woman who can take charge,” you said but your eyebrows furrowed when she laughed suddenly before realising, “I did not mean- “you tried to object when you realised the double meaning of your phrase.

Yara just chuckled, leaning in to whisper in your ear, “Don’t worry princess. I know exactly what you mean,” she said before pulling away, smiling at the hot flush on your face, “Now I was wondering if I may have the honour of escorting you to dinner? After all I’d hate for you to get hurt on the way to the festivities,” she said, holding out her arm to you.

You smiled and took it, trying your best to avoid her eye and the playful glint in it, “For the record I’d be able to make the journey alone,” you said, not wanting to sound weak to your newfound crush.

A smile peaked onto her lips, “I don’t doubt that princess. Though its good to know you enjoy my company,” she teased.

You felt your skin burn but you managed to smile back at her this time, “Maybe so,”

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[badkitty3000]

Can you write a Five x Vivi fanfic where Vivi is sick with the flu/has a small injury & has to rest & Five just stays home and takes care of her for like a week?? Maybe some smut at the end👀👀

Thank you for the request!! Here's a funny/sweet/smutty one-shot of Five taking care of his sick wife like the sexy softy he is. I hope you enjoy! 😽

If you like reading Five as a caregiver, you may like my other, reader-insert story Love In The Time Of Cholera And Coffee ❤️

In Sickness And In Health

Warnings: Smut, Daddy kink

Five x OC One-shot, Words: 4,437

“What are you doing?”

Five looked his wife over with a frown as he sat at the kitchen table with his morning coffee. She was dressed in her normal work attire, but her hair was matted in the back and the small amount of eye makeup she had tried to apply was already sliding down her face and mixing with sweat that was starting to bead there. Her eyes were watering and her nose and cheeks were red. After coughing so hard it sounded like she was going to lose a lung, she wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

“Going to work. What does it look like?” Viv answered weakly on her way to get a tissue.

“Jesus, Vivian, you look like total shit. You can’t go to work like that.”

She rolled her eyes and made a noise that resembled a dying elephant as she blew her nose. “I have to go to work, Five. But thanks for the compliment.”

Five put his mug down and leaned back in his chair, an eyebrow raised. “You look like you’re about one sneeze away from passing out cold. You do not need to be going to work like that, and I can guarantee no one there wants your gross germs, either.”

“Well, I appreciate your concern, but I at least have to go in for a little bit. I’m needed.”

With a smile, Five got up and took her hand, gently taking the car keys that were dangling from her fingers.

“Darling, you know I love having you go off every day and earn the big bucks while I enjoy my peaceful days of retirement; I find nothing sexier. But you are absolutely not going to work. You need to stay home and rest.”

“But, I have this report…”

Five shook his head slowly.

“You can’t make me stay home…” Viv started to protest with a glare until she doubled over in a violent coughing fit. When she looked back up at Five, she sighed at his ‘I told you so’ face. She really hated it when he was right. “Fine, I will stay home. Just for today, though.”

 “Good. Now go upstairs, get out of your clothes and back in bed. I’ll be up in a minute.”

Viv raised her eyebrows. “This better not be some elaborate scheme of yours to try and get laid.”

“Vivie, no offense, but the whole ‘dying of the plague’ look is not really doing it for me. Not to mention, I don’t need an elaborate scheme to get laid.”

Too tired to think of a witty response to that, Viv just huffed and turned around, heading for her bed. She may have hated being sick and having to stay home when there were a million things to do at work, but she cracked a tiny smile on her way up the stairs. Five was such a softy when it came to her and it made her love him even more knowing that he wanted to take care of her.

Once she had kicked off her heels and changed into some sweats and her favorite comfy cat t-shirt, Viv crawled under the covers of their bed, exhausted. Now that she wasn’t focused on getting to work, it became very clear that her entire body ached and she was shivering and sweating at the same time. She had a horrific headache and she couldn’t even breathe out of her nose. She felt like she could have slept for a year.

Viv was about to fall asleep when Five came in. He was carrying a tray with a glass of water, some medicine for her fever, and a mug of hot tea. After he made sure she took the pills and had a few sips of the tea, he helped her get comfortable again.

Five gave her a kiss on her damp forehead. “Get some sleep, angel. I’ll make you some soup and bring it up later.”

“Thanks, baby,” she mumbled, already drooling onto her pillow as she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

When she woke up later that afternoon, Viv noticed how long she had been sleeping and was shocked. Then she remembered Five said he was going to make her some soup, which actually sounded pretty good. She got out of bed and started down the stairs to the kitchen, where she heard a lot of rummaging around. When she walked in, Five was busy chopping up vegetables as a big pot of homemade chicken noodle soup simmered on the stove. He turned around, surprised, when he heard her come in.

“What are you doing up? You should be in bed.”

Viv smiled weakly. “I wanted to know what you were up to. Is that my soup?”

Five turned to face her, a knife in one hand, and wearing an apron that said “I’ll Feed All You Fuckers” on the front. “Yes, it is. It’s almost ready, so go back upstairs and I’ll bring you some in a minute.”

Trying not to laugh, partly because her head felt like it might explode and laughing would probably make it worse, she sighed heavily. “I know you have an aversion to canned food, but wouldn’t it be easier just to throw some Campbell’s soup in a bowl? I promise I’m not picky.”

With a deep frown, his dark eyebrows drawing together, Five pointed the knife at her. “I’ll pretend you didn’t say that. Do you know how many women would kill to have their husbands making them homemade soup?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“Well, it’s probably a lot. So, get your ass out of here and back upstairs before I blink you back up there myself.”

Viv held her hands up. “Alright, I’m going. Sorry to interrupt, Ms. Child.”

“Joke’s on you, because that’s a very high compliment!” he called after her as she trudged heavily back up the stairs.

Half an hour later, after Five was satisfied with the tenderness of the carrots and celery, he delivered Viv her soup. She ate as much as she could before feeling dizzy again and needing to lie down. Her muscles hurt and her head was throbbing, but she thanked Five for taking care of her and he left again while she fell back asleep.

Sometime during the night, Vivian woke up alone in their bed. Squinting at the clock on the nightstand, she saw it was after midnight. Five definitely should have come to bed by then. She was feeling feverish again since the medication she had taken earlier had worn off. And she hated being in bed by herself.

“Five?” she called, but her voice was weak and quiet and she knew wherever he was he wouldn’t be able to hear her.

She got up again, swaying on shaking legs, and headed for the stairs. “Five?” she called out again, this time a little louder. She was halfway down the stairs when she suddenly felt a wave of dizziness wash over her and black spots started to form in front of her eyes. She gripped the railing with both hands, but she felt her knees start to give out. Just as she was about to tumble down the stairs, Five appeared in a flash of blue and grabbed her around the waist.

“What the hell are you doing?” he barked as he took her full weight in his arms and held her upright.

“I was looking for you,” Viv answered sadly as she clung to his shoulders.

Five sighed. “Dammit, Vivie, you almost killed yourself. Why were you looking for me?”

“Because I don’t like sleeping alone,” she whined again, her eyes half closed. “And I think my fever’s back.”

“You need to stay in bed. I was going to sleep on the couch to give you more space, but if you want me to sleep up there I will. Come on.”

Five helped her back up the stairs and into their bedroom again, helping her into bed. Then he went and got more medicine for her fever and made sure she took it. After she was settled in, he climbed in with her. He wasn’t really excited about being that close to her in her diseased state, but he also couldn’t deny her anything. So, if she wanted him sleeping next to her, he’d oblige. Even if it meant he may contract the Ebola virus, or whatever the hell she had.

Viv snuggled up next to him, her arm thrown across his bare stomach, and quickly fell asleep again. Five laid awake for another hour, not wanting to move in case he disturbed her while listening to her snoring until he finally fell asleep.

The next day, she wasn’t much better, and Five continued to take care of her, despite her frequent attempts at trying to leave the bedroom. Every time Viv would sneak out, Five would stop her, annoyed, and blink her back into bed; even if she did threaten to throw up on him. She tried to bring her laptop to bed to work on some reports for work, but Five took it and hid it away. If she pretended she was getting a book to read, but was really checking her phone for any messages, he would find her and snatch it out of her hand with a stern look.

Five also continued making her comfort foods, like soup, and bread, and mashed potatoes. And while Viv loved all of it, and was thankful he was taking such good care of her, she had to tell him several times that taking an hour to make some buttered noodles because “they weren’t al dente” was insane. But Five just gave her a look that suggested “don’t fuck with me” and stood there with crossed arms while he made sure she ate at least a few bites.

On the third day, Vivian was feeling slightly better and was at least able to sit up in bed, watch some TV, and eat a little more. Sometime in the afternoon, Viv couldn’t sleep anymore, but she wanted Five to lie next to her. Even though he acted like he was doing her a big favor, he secretly loved that his wife wanted him near her. So, Five stretched out next to her in his black sweatpants and plain white t-shirt with his crossword puzzle, while she watched old episodes of 90s TV shows in her faded cat pajamas.

Four days in, and Viv was getting restless. She no longer had a fever, but she still was not feeling completely like her normal self again. The boredom was starting to set in.

“Five…” she whined. “I’m fine. I can go back to work, I swear. I am not dying.”

“Maybe not, but even if you’re feeling better, if you go back to work now you’ll just end up sicker again. Your body needs time to heal.”

Viv cocked her head to the side. “And since when did you become an expert in all things medically related?”

“Since I was raised by a robot mother programmed to recognize every slight decline in my health, and treat it accordingly so that I could perform at peak physical strength.”

“Oh, right, I forgot. You know, not everything has to be a competition as to whose childhood was harder. I once fractured my elbow falling off the monkey bars on the playground and my parents still made me go to gym class the next day.”

Five raised one eyebrow. “I once was two hours deep into training, accidentally fell off a ten-foot tall ledge with a miss-timed blink, and ended up breaking my collarbone, left ankle, and right wrist at the same time. I still had to participate in the next day’s mission.” He gave her a cocky smirk. “Took down two, full-grown men that day. Barely broke a sweat.”

“I find this very hard to believe.”

“Which part? My superhuman tolerance for pain, or my ability to remain a total badass while suffering several broken bones?”

Viv smiled. “I bet you were so cute in your little uniform, beating up bad guys. All feral and foaming at the mouth; like a miniature, teleporting Hulk in knee socks.”

“Make fun all you want. The girls loved it.”

Viv rolled her eyes. “Now I know you’re full of shit.”

“Regardless, you’re staying put. End of story.”

With a coy smile, she took Five’s wrist in her hand and ran a finger inside his palm, batting her eyelashes even though her eyes were still watering and had dark circles under them. “You know I love it when you boss me around.”

He cupped her chin in his other hand. “I know very well that you do, angel. And normally the little act of seduction you’re trying for right now would work, but not today. Get back to bed.”

With a pout and an annoyed sigh, Viv dropped his hand and the subject before stomping back to bed.

Later that day, Five was keeping her company in bed since she claimed she had read everything she wanted to and watched all of the dumb shows she could handle. And since he still wouldn’t let her have her work computer back, she made him hang out with her. Five sat propped up against the headboard while Viv sat between his legs, with her back against his chest and her head against his shoulder. He stroked her hair idly while they talked quietly and she rested. Periodically, he would give her little kisses on her head and she would smile with her eyes closed.

“Are you comfortable, my love? Do you need me to bring you anything?”

She shook her head and smiled up at him. “If someone had told me years ago that Five Hargreeves, the deadly assassin, would be making me homemade soup and babying me while I was sick, I would have laughed in their face.”

He looked down at her, the tug at the corner of his mouth betraying the seriousness he was going for. “Do you see what you have done to me? I’m like a former stray dog that you lured inside with treats and then neutered.”

“If by ‘lured inside with treats’, you mean I fucked the bitch out of you, then yeah I guess so.”

“I’m not a bitch,” he answered sharply.

Viv laughed. “I know you’re not…not anymore. And you are most definitely not neutered. The whole reason I kept you around was for your amazing sexual skill set, so there would be no benefit to getting rid of that function.”

“Amazing, huh?”

She patted his leg. “You may have been a jerk sometimes, but you definitely were, and still are, very good in the sack.”

Five chuckled, resumed running his fingers through her soft hair, and was quiet for a few seconds. That’s when Vivian felt a very prominent and very familiar object rising up from Five’s pants and poking her in the back. Her eyes flew open and she sat straight up, turning to look at him with her mouth agape.

“Five, oh my god! You cannot be serious right now.”

He couldn’t help laughing, even as he tried to defend himself. “I’m sorry! But you’re talking about me fucking you and your ass is pressed into my crotch. I have no control over these things.”

“Wow, that is just…”

“Impressive?”

Viv shook her head. “No, I was going to say bad timing for you. My head still feels like it’s stuffed with cotton and I haven’t showered in over 24 hours, so that is 100% your problem now.”

Five shrugged. “You know I’m very efficient. I can have this taken care of in two minutes. Three, tops.”

“I’m very glad that only applies to your solo missions and not anything where I’m involved.”

He gave her a wink and smile. “You’re welcome,” and then he was gone; disappearing into one of his portals to presumably handle the situation somewhere else.

After another whole day of Vivian being forced to stay in bed and Five insisting it was medically necessary, she was finally feeling like her old self again. Her color had returned and she had her energy back. Five even let her check her work emails. She had to laugh because even though he was irritating and obsessive, he was doing all of it because he loved her so much. And any time she was reminded of that, she loved him that much more in return.

Five was sitting in an armchair in the living room, reading a book, when Viv came in and stood behind him, bending over so that she could give him a kiss on the cheek. Five gave her a smile, but when her hands slid down the inside of his shirt and over his bare chest, he suddenly became much more interested. He let his book fall to the ground.

“Hello, darling,” he said as Viv continued to snake her hands over his pecs. “Feeling better, I see.”

She nodded and kissed the side of his neck. “Thanks to you. You took such good care of me, that I thought it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t return the favor in some way.” She switched sides and gave him another kiss on the neck, making him suck in a sharp breath. “Let me thank you properly, Daddy,” she purred next to his ear as she opened the top few buttons of his shirt.

“And how to you propose to do that, angel?” he teased, even though he could hardly contain himself.

Viv kept one hand on him, running it over his shoulders as she walked around to face him. That’s when Five almost lost his mind. She was wearing a very skimpy pair of black thong panties paired with a sheer black bra that pushed her tits up. The pair of black stilettos she wore accentuated her calves and butt, and once Five could take his eyes off her body, he noticed she had added the red lipstick that he loved. His mouth hung open for a second before he swallowed hard.

“Holy shit…” he breathed out as she sat sideways across his lap, draping an arm over his shoulder and lightly twisting her fingers into his hair in the back. “I don’t think I did that much to deserve this. You look incredible.”

Viv smiled. “This is just part of your thank you present. The rest is getting to decide what to do with it.”

She leaned in and placed a kiss on his exposed collarbone before undoing another button on his shirt. Five closed his eyes and a quiet and rather embarrassing moan crept out. His hand was already rubbing across her smooth thigh and he tilted his head back as she continued to stain his neck and chest with red lip marks.

“What do you want, Daddy?” she whispered seductively in between kisses. “I’ll do anything for you.”

“Anything?” Five managed to croak out as he squeezed her leg. “Fuck…”

His brain was scrambled with roughly eight million ideas running around in his head with that little invitation. He couldn’t think straight, not with her lips traveling over his chest while tugging his shirt out from his pants, unbuttoning it all the way so that she could run her hands down his stomach. When she let out a tiny moan and kissed his mouth, licking lightly at his bottom lip, Five couldn’t stand it anymore. If he was going to get back the use of even one of his brain cells, he needed to be the one in charge again.

With a hand circling her throat lightly, Five pulled back from her kiss. When he had her eyes locked on his, he applied just a little more pressure to her neck.

“On your knees,” he demanded in that tone of voice that drove Viv crazy.

When she immediately slid off his lap and onto the floor between his legs, she looked up at him, blinking innocently and waiting for further instructions. He lovingly fixed a piece of stray hair and tucked it behind her ear. Then he took his thumb and wiped away a smudge of lipstick from the corner of her mouth. He kept his hand on her chin, holding her in place while he talked to her.

“I want you to suck my cock. I want to feel the back of your throat and you better not let up unless I say so. Understand?”

Viv nodded and was already in the process of undoing his pants; a small smile on her face. She looked up at him under dark lashes. “Whatever you say, Daddy.”

As soon as her mouth was on him, Five couldn’t help it. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and pushed his hips up, driving his dick deeper into her throat until she was gagging. But she didn’t let up, just like he told her, as she took him in all the way to the base and ran her tongue up the underside of his shaft. Five laid his head back with a loud groan and closed his eyes.

“God damn it, that’s perfect,” he moaned. “Don’t stop.”

After another couple minutes of intensely fucking his wife’s face, Five untangled his hand from her hair and let her up. When she sat back on her knees, her face smeared with the same red lipstick that was now all over his dick, breathing hard and blinking up at him, Five lost what little control he had been clinging to. His carefully mapped out plans that he had crafted inside his head immediately vanished and his caveman instincts took over.

“Up,” he growled, before grabbing her by her arm and pulling her up with him as he stood up. “You are getting fucked.”

Before she had anytime to either respond or process what she was being told, Viv was being dragged through a portal of time and space, ending up in their bedroom. Five immediately wrestled his clothes off while she tried to regain her balance again. Then he abruptly picked her up, holding her under her thighs, and threw her onto the bed. He smirked when she squealed but was on top of her in one second, his mouth already hungrily sucking and biting at her skin.

Viv arched her back as Five ran his tongue over the see-through fabric of her bra, scraping his teeth over her nipples and leaving purple bruises all over her chest. He was frantic in his marking of her body. He wanted to claim her as his and even though he knew she already was, he still wanted to see the proof. As she whined and moaned underneath him, Five continued down her abdomen.

“That’s my good girl; nice and wet for Daddy,” he praised as he shoved his hand between her legs and pushed aside her panties, entering her with two fingers.

She let out a whimper as he immediately removed his fingers again, letting them slide up through her folds and onto her clit before taking them away completely. Without another word, Five grabbed her hips and flipped her over, pushing her upper body down with a hand between her shoulder blades and pulling her ass up and towards him. He gave her a hard smack and she clenched the sheet underneath her in her fists.

“Damn, this body of yours. You were just made to be fucked,” he hissed between clenched teeth as he spanked her again, just as hard.

Not even bothering to remove her thong, Five shoved it aside and slammed his cock into her, penetrating her in one hard thrust until he was deep inside. His fingers dug into the flesh on either side of her hips and he held her tightly against him while he groaned loudly from the feeling. Viv breathed in sharply, and Five paused to make sure she was still ok with everything.

“Are you doing ok, my love?” he asked before continuing to ruin her.

She nodded, lifting her head and glancing over her shoulder with a smile. “Go for it, Daddy. Make it hurt.”

“Fuck, I love you,” Five groaned, right before he pulled back and rammed into her again.

Her body pitched forward with each punishing thrust as Five fucked her fast and hard; her screams and moans getting louder the harder he pushed. A thin sheen of sweat was forming on his chest and face, his hair hanging over his eyes and sticking to his damp forehead. He knew he probably was hurting her a little, he was going at her so intensely, but he trusted her to let him know if it got to be too much. And so far, she just seemed to want more.

The tight, velvety walls that surrounded his rock-hard cock felt like heaven, and with each drive inside of her, the closer he got to his threshold.

“Vivie,” he said in between heaving breaths. “Oh fuck, you feel so good…ah, fuuuck!”

Five let himself go, coming inside of her with one last jerk of his hips against her ass, at the same time that her own intense orgasm ripped through her body, sending shivers and spasms throughout every muscle. Her loud cries and whimpers eventually died down and she let her body relax as Five pulled out.

He gave her a kiss on her shoulder before collapsing next to her on the bed. Viv lay on her stomach and turned her head to look at him, her hair tangled and covering half her face.

“Nice work there, Daddy,” she said with a grin.

Five laughed, even as he continued to try and catch his breath. “Thanks. Not so bad yourself.” He traced a finger lightly over her hip and over the thin string of the thong she was still wearing. “I don’t know where you got these, but holy shit, are you trying to kill me, woman?”

Viv laughed and buried her face in her pillow before looking back at him. “No, I am not trying to kill you. I just thought you might like them.”

Five pulled her to him, kissing her ravaged lips and smoothing down her wild hair. “I really, really fucking like them. I just hope you don’t get sick again from all of that activity. Maybe you overdid yourself.”

She settled in against him and kissed his still-damp chest. “Well, if I do, I know I’m in good hands. You always know how to take care of me, Five, in more ways than one.”

[sillyblues]

Omg for that Miguel O'hara fanfic where the reader was called annoying. Can the reader return back to her dimension and Miguel is trying to contact her and sends someone to go check up on her. But the person comes back and shakes his head at Miguel, saying they weren't there so Miguel asks Lyla for the reader's location. She's in an alleyway or rooftop and she just tells Miguel she doesn't want to talk. Miguel brought the bear too, just to show that he does care about her and the gifts she gives him. You could change some of these ideas. :] -c

ੈ✩‧₊˚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: sorry this took me long to reply because i had to at least push a part of the preggo fic before i write this and this wasn't included on annoying part 2, i rlly considered this but the idea i had in mind with this was an angsty one and i wanted a happy ending for it so yeah :(( but still here's an alternate ending of annoying!

Miguel O’Hara was an asshole.

And he knew that of course, because he was the one who made this persona to protect himself from getting hurt. He had to be a real piece of shit so that he couldn’t get attached to anyone and wouldn’t get hurt if the universe inevitably ripped their arms away from his again.

But you. Oh god, you.

You were the reason why he had to wear a mask, a lie. You were so beautiful that his bleak world of loneliness was shattered with just a smile. Your voice brings back life in the void that resides in his heart. Your touch heals the hurting man that he so desperately tries to hide.

Like a moth attached to a flame, he easily got attached to you. And he hated that. He promised himself that he would not let anybody in and love anyone but God, it was fucking you. When he realised his mistake, he tried to be mean. He tried to regain and be in control of himself again (because he couldn’t get a hold of himself when it came to you) so that he wouldn’t be hurt ever again. He tried to ignore you despite his mind clinging to a word that you say and the urge to just be near you, to see you.

But when you fell from the platform, he was instantly reminded of his daughter, who disappeared into atoms and molecules, into thin air in his arms. He was instantly reminded of Gabriella, who the universe ripped away from his awms. His body reacted instinctively.

No. He had already lost her. He didn’t want to lose you again. 

Don’t do this to me. Don’t hurt me again.

In fear of losing you, he didn’t know he had hurt you. And when he realised it, it was too late. You ran away in tears, in pain that he caused and fuck, he was a piece of shit. He bitterly chuckled as he cried as he clutched the teddy bear you gave him. His tears fell on its fur, and he kneeled.

Miguel O’Hara was an asshole because he had to be one so that nobody couldn’t hurt him but when he had hurt you instead, he found himself questioning himself.

.

.

. 

Miguel knew you just as you knew him. When Peter came back to his office with no news of you, he quickly knew where you were. So he went to you himself instead and just as he knew, you were there on the rooftop of your apartment sitting with your back facing him. He clutched the teddy bear as he walked towards you.

His heart hammered against his chest and rang in his eardrums. His jaw was clenched and a part of him wants to hide forever but at the same time, he needed to apologize to you for what he have said and done. You did not deserve him but you deserved an apology.

But what if you didn’t want him anymore?

“What are you doing here, Miguel?” your hoarse voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he could hear the long time you cried and the pain that laced with it. His heart stung at the memory of him yelling at you once more.

“[Name]...” he whispered out your name and he was reminded of the days he thought of apologizing to you, days of saying your name as practised his apologies, and now that he was finally here in front of you, the owner of the name he desperately called out was in front of him, he didn't know what he was feeling. “I'm here to apologize.”

“You don't need to. It's fine. I don't really care anymore.” you said as you still looked ahead. his eyes widened at your figure that seemed so smaller than ever before.

“No, [Name], you should care. I was an asshole, a huge piece of shit and you didn't deserve that—”

“Last time I cared, I got shouted at telling me I'm annoying!” you snapped as you finally turned around and looked at him. He finally saw you but he didn't want to see you this way. He didn't want to see you hurting and in pain.

“I'm really sorry, please believe me, I didn't mean any of those, please.” he desperately begged and a part of him wondered how would his past self react if he knew of him for doing the exact thing he didn't want to do. If his past self saw him now, attached to someone enough to beg them to believe him, there was no doubt he would go insane. And he was insane. He was insane for all of this. He was insane for you.

“Liar,” your lip trembled and his heart broke at the sight of you crying again. “No, Miguel, you said what you needed to say and it's enough for me. I was a problem, I get it.”

“Let's just end this now. I quit. I give up.” your tears fell from your cheeks and he wanted to comfort you, to hold you, to wipe your tears. But he couldn't. The hopelessness in your voice destroyed him.

He caused that. He hurt you.

Miguel was only terrified of the fear that the universe would take you away if he got close to you and in his fear, he was the one that took you away from him instead.

tag-list: (i'm sorry if i wasn't able to tag you!) @nxrdamp @um-well @nanasdumbworld @myconglomerateromance @sleepyamaya @harlekin6 @bittersw33t-lotus @saturnknows @miggyoharaswife @innergardentoadpony @asobriquet @mimooyi @misscaller06 @sciencethot @vainillasmil157 @just-a-mothboi @katsukiswrld @zukiizuks @cumbermovels @bigmood-myman @momos-peaches @lunrai @saint-chlorine @themoonsaynotocircus @deputy-videogamer @brittney69 @armins-ocean-seashell @galadrien02 @ranp01 @witherfag @eileen201804 @daryldixonh0e @chinglewingledingledong @mystar-girl57 @lorarri @poopoobuttsy @scarletsloveletter@mimimarvelingmarvel @tfygcdy @skulfan1 @roryrose327 @gamersansblog

[thorias]

So I've been thinking about how the "Saving Gambit" story is going to play out in season 2. Not much else to do right now but speculate since it doesn't look like we'll be getting any new information for a while; hell, at this rate, they probably won't even let AJ acknowledge that mid-credit scene in the finale until we've at least got a trailer to sink our teeth into.

Anyway... ideally, I'd like there to be more to it than just Rogue telling Deathbit that she loves him and then he's back to normal like magic. That's okay for Rogue, I guess, but Remy needs an arc too. And it would feel anticlimactic if it's that easy, especially after we got so gipped with the lack of Romy content in season 1.

I'd like them to build a real story around this, with the X-men trying a bunch of different ways to get through to Remy, but none of them work. I want to see Rogue try to drain the evil out of him like she did with Archangel in XTAS, only for her touch to have no effect because Apocalypse has accounted for that this time. I want to see Jean try to shut down the Deathbit persona telepathically, only for it to force her out of his mind.

I want to see them try everything they can think of to bring Remy back and fail every time until it all seems hopeless... and then hope arrives from an unexpected place.

We're getting into fanfic territory here, but we don't have much to go on for the time being, so screw it. Here's how I'd write the thing...

Archangel shows up to help the X-men with Apocalypse/Deathbit, giving them some new insight to go on. He explains how Apocalypse turns mutants into Horsemen; what it feels like and whatnot. Maybe it's a psychological thing where Apocalypse burrows his way into a person's subconscious and plants a seed that grows into something dark and twisted, which warps how that person thinks and perceives the rest of the world.

I see Archangel describing it as Apocalypse sifting through every memory and experience a mutant has ever had, looking for their absolute lowest, most vulnerable moment, when they feel utterly alone, hopeless and are most in need... and in that moment, Apocalypse appears to them (in their subconscious) like a savior and offers them a hand.

Them taking his hand symbolizes them surrendering to his influence and allows him to set up shop in their head, so the Horseman persona can take over. So if the X-men want to save Remy, they're going to have to deprogram him by getting inside his mind and finding that moment, so they can stop him from accepting Apocalypse's offer.

So maybe the X-men have to fight Deathbit to immobilize him. This gives Xavier an opening where he'd use Cerebro to boost his telepathy enough to get through Apocalypse's mental defenses, so he can take Rogue, go inside Deathbit's mind and start poking around in Remy's memories.

This is where Remy's arc can come in because they can do a lot of cool character stuff here. They start by looking at his childhood. Maybe they see him as a little kid in an orphanage (pre-thieves guild) with the nuns who run the place calling him "le diable blanc" and trying to beat the devil out of him. Then, after the beating, Apocalypse appears to child Remy and offers his hand... but Remy turns away.

They see teenage Remy having just run away from Belladonna and the thieves guild, having to leave his home, his first love and the only family he ever had. He's alone, miserable, heartbroken... again Apocalypse appears and offers his hand... and again Remy turns away.

They see Remy in Paris with Genevieve Darceneaux and her winding up dead simply because Remy Lebeau entered her life. As he stands over her grave, feeling guilt-stricken and heartsick, once more Apocalypse appears, offering him salvation, to free him from his self-loathing... and once more Remy turns away.

You know where I'm going with this, right?

Finally, they end up at the Genoshan gala on the night of the attack. A heartbroken Remy watches Rogue dance with Magneto, but can't stomach it and walks out. He sits alone outside, feeling utterly desolate, wondering if everything he thought him and Rogue had meant to each other was all for nothing.

One final time, Apocalypse reaches out... extends his hand... and in his despair... Remy takes it. That's the moment they have to stop.

The rest pretty much writes itself. Rogue jumps in between Remy and Apocalypse. Maybe there's a psychic battle with Xavier keeping Apocalypse at bay while Rogue tries to get through to Remy, finally telling him what really happened, that she'd actually rejected Magneto, realizing that Remy was right about what they have being "deeper than skin," but his self-loathing rears its' ugly head and he refuses to listen to her.

So finally, Rogue does what fans have been waiting for for 6 seasons, across 2 different cartoon series and 3 freaking decades: She finally tells him that she loves him... and she kisses him (they're on the psychic plane, so they don't have to worry about her powers hurting him here).

Maybe Rogue has gotten through to Remy and maybe she hasn't. His reaction is ambiguous, he still seems confused...

Xavier can't hold Apocalypse back anymore. Apocalypse confronts Remy and offers his hand again. It looks like Remy is reaching out to take it... but instead, he hands Apocalypse the Queen of Hearts card, which explodes in his face.

Apocalypse's hold over Remy is broken, the Deathbit persona is gone.

If they wrote something like that, I'd be pretty happy. But given how season 1 turned out, I'll probably have to lower my expectations.

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Tonight, Forever, Then, Here And Now - Nikolai Lantsov

Summary: Nikolai Lantsov x Reader circa King Of Scars, at a party, pretending their feelings for each other can be ignored.

Content Warnings: Not Beta/Proof Read.

So like, I stopped writing fanfic content and imagines and stuff a few years back because Wattpad wasn't serving me well and Quotev had drained my morale. The last two years I've been posting fanfic on A03, and that's really just been for me and bestie, and this account was really just so I could post Tolya content for bestie. But I'm like very glad you are enjoying my nonsense the same was she does, and I shall continue to take requests and post my random bs because who knew there was such an audience for it xx

Genya smiles looking you up and down. "You clean up nice," Genya says. You give her a look, and she pretends not to see it. "Please try to look like you're happy to be here."

"I did not ask to be here," you remind her. She gently leans closer, bringing her drink to her lips, to try and hide her whispers.

"We both know there is at least one reason you would like to be here," she whispers.

"Don't," you warn her.

"I haven't seen him yet," she continues, "but from what Zoya said-,"

"I do not want to know what Zoya said about Nikolai," you say a little too quickly. Genya smiles, that knowing smile. "I will tell David that you don't like the new hinges, that you preferred the other ones despite the fact they were less functional, because they were prettier."

"No, you wouldn't," Genya says, but she thinks about it. "Oh you might."

"Yes," you tell her, "I might."

You love Genya, she keeps you sane during such fancy and often long functions, but today she wants to talk about Nikolai, and you cannot talk about Nikolai. You're not sure your heart can take it. You've never been able to hide your feelings for him, not from her at least. But today your feelings feel like they could boil over.

"I hoped you'd look my way eventually," comes a voice you don't know. You realise that in your absentmindedness you must have been looking at someone, and rather than admit you were somewhere else entirely, thinking about Nikolai, you try to conjure a smile.

"Have we met?" You ask, you hate small talk, especially with men like these, the type that will ask you to dance. You really do not feel like dancing.

"May I have this dance," you go to say no, but you realise when the confusion crosses the strangers face it isn't he who asked. You play the question back in your mind, and you know the voice, you'd know it anywhere, you'd know it in a crowded room, you'd know it tired, to quiet or pretending to be someone else, and you know it now.

"Your Highness," you give a curtsey, it's a little joke that no one but Nikolai and Genya seem to understand. Nikolai tries to make his smile look more humble, but the smugness lingers. He offers you his hand.

"Shall we?" he asks. You stare at him, like waiting would make it make more sense. He takes your hand with a smile and throws the stranger a gentle shrug. "I have a tendency to make them short of words." You follow him as he pulls you along, trying to ignore the smirk Genya has. "Dance with me."

"We shouldn't be seen together," is the first sentence you manage to put together. Nikolai just gives an indignant sigh.

"Just, take my arm, and don't look so stiff," he says, pulling you in. You let him, having him hold you close takes away some of the attention from the fact you do not wish to be dancing, for understandable reasons. You don't even want to be here at all.

"I should warn you that I am a terrible dancer," you tell him. He chuckles and you can feel his breath against your skin, and you try not to let your thoughts linger on it.

"It's okay love, no one's going to be watching you," he teases.

"By all means, don't waste your pleasantries on me," you respond. He places a hand on your hip and you try not to jolt from the shock. You'd intended on avoiding him, you'd hoped you could spend the whole night, not having to share a word with him, and now his hands are against you and it's like he has filled up all your senses.

"My eyes are up here," Nikolai whispers, bringing himself close to your ear. You step on his foot and he bites his tongue pretending to not notice. "Ouch," he whispers. "Put your hand on my-,"

"No," you say quickly.

"Can you at least pretend you like spending time with me?" he asks.

"I like spending time with you," you say, looking up to meet his gaze. "But I hate parties, I hate... all of this and people are looking at me, I don't want them looking at me, and we know why they're looking at me, because I am dancing with you. Something else I did not intend to do."

You see one of the court members leaning into whisper to someone you don't recognise and you fight off the groan. Nikolai follows your gaze. "Ah, the rumour mill's already started," he observes.

"Sound less pleased with yourself," you tell him. His grin turns mischievous, and he looks more like the Nikolai you know, underneath all the royal attire and façade. You wish you could smile and just be happy in his company, you wish it was that easy. But it's anything from that easy, and as each day passes it gets more and more complicated. "I've heard the rumours about you."

"Who hasn't?" he asks, tone still filled with good-humour, in spite of how quickly he could have misinterpreted that comment.

"I mean... the other rumours, about you and Zoya," you're teasing him and he knows it.

"Yes, that's why she is so set on finding me a wife," he lets slip the tiredness in his tone.

"Oh, that's why you're insisting on dancing with me," you say, letting him pull you closer. "Not because you couldn't find a date in time."

"You think I couldn't find a date in time?" he asks, mock offended.

"No, I know you could have dates lined up out the door," you say, "so it made me wonder, why you wanted to bother me."

"I'm bothering you, am I?"

"Shut up Nikolai," you look away trying to stop yourself from blushing. He always acts like this, and you always react like this, you should know better.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here," he admits. It sounds like a confession, but you've got not a single clue what he is confessing to.

"You weren't supposed to find me here," you admit, equally honest, equally confessional, but at least you know what you're confessing to, even if he doesn't. You feel your throat drying up as Nikolai pulls you in even closer. "Strong grip," you whisper. He laughs and you can feel the breath moving in his chest as he does. "Anyway, how is the whole wife thing going?"

"Oh please, I had hoped I would be free of that, at least with you," he says.

"Why would I free you from conversing clearly the most important decision you're yet to make as royalty and ruler?" you tease.

"I knew you'd turn on me one day," he whispers, "but this betrayal, this stings."

"Well, Your Majesty, I am just concerned for the royal line," you say, dipping your head in a subtle bow.

"Mind if I cut in?" Zoya asks, approaching the two of you.

"Yes," Nikolai groans but keeps a smile on his face.

"A word," Zoya says, eyeing you.

"When I have a moment?" you ask.

"After your dance?" Nikolai inquires.

"I am not cutting in for you," Zoya tells Nikolai directly, "and no," she looks to you, "not when you have a moment, now."

Zoya pulls you aside. "Now I don't know what I've done to incur the wrath of General Nazyalensky, but I assume I am about to find out," You say, not liking quite how hard the grip on your arm is.

"He needs to find a wife," Zoya states flatly.

"I know," you reply.

"He will not find a wife, with you around taking up his time," Zoya points out. If Zoya were someone else, you'd think this was coming from a place of jealousy, possessiveness, or her own interest in Nikolai. But anyone who knows Zoya enough, knows her one true loyalty, the thing she loves above all else, is Ravka. That is where her intentions lie. She wants what is best for her country, it isn't personal and you know it.

"He sought me out," you tell Zoya.

"And he will do that," she tells you, "over and over, and it gets him no where, he will chase you and it will mean nothing except act as a distraction from what he must do."

"Please, Sobachka or not, Nikolai isn't some... love sick puppy, he is a romantic, and these proposed arrangements do not interest him, but even if there was a deeper reason for that, it would not be me," you state.

Zoya's laugh is tired, and in its own way, cruel. "You exhaust me," Zoya admits. Zoya was all kinds of beautiful, and you know her to be beautiful even in her cruelty, in her viciousness. Zoya was so beautiful in her anger, even in her war, that even as the Storm Witch her beauty is what people remember most about her. You assumed she looked right through you, but she was staring at you now, right at you. And that was the most terrifying. "I suggest, you put aside your naivety and take a walk. Let me do what is necessary, what is best."

"For Ravka?" You ask, tone bleak.

"And for Nikolai," she states, "your own feelings aside, that is what you want, isn't it?"

"You know nothing of my feelings Zoya," you say, more venomous than you'd originally planned.

"I think it is you that knows nothing of your feelings," Zoya says, "now you need some air, don't you?"

"I need some air?" you ask. Zoya looks to the archway leading out of the festivities and into the gardens.

"You need some air," Zoya says again, "or do I need to physically remind you."

Zoya would not use her small science here, not like this, but the threat was filled with a level of sincerity. "I need some air," you reply and take your leave. 'What I really need is a drink,' you think to yourself as you make it past most of the crowd.

"Quick, while no one is looking," comes Nikolai's voice as he pulls you into the shadows.

"What... are you doing?" you ask, biting back any sounds of shock.

"You help me, I help you, isn't this how this goes?" he is being himself again, that Nikolai you know so well, all mischief and planning. You knew Nikolai could escape almost any situation if he wanted to, and if he put his mind to it. Clever as a fox. Sly like one too, you'd often thought.

"I need some air," you say, trying your best to oblige Zoya and her better intentions.

"Mind joining me for a walk in the gardens?" Nikolai asks.

"Would I mind you joining me," you correct him. He smirks.

"You wouldn't mind," he places an arm around you, resting a hand on the lower of your back, "I am such a delight to be around."

He is uncharacteristically quiet as you walk down the path and around the garden. "I am sorry for Zoya," he says finally.

"It's futile to apologise over her," you say, "no one could control her if they tried."

"Perhaps not, but... I do not like the way she talks to you," he says.

"She talks to everyone that way."

"But she shouldn't talk to you like that," he says. You want to ask about why you deserve special treatment, about why he is seeking you out knowing there are things he needs to be doing. But something else catches your thoughts before you can ask either of those questions.

"Were you eavesdropping?" you ask.

"Can royalty really eavesdrop?" he asks, trying to pull that charm he has to cover his tracks.

"Nikolai," you say, sighing.

"Call me Kolya," he says, "like you used to."

You think your heart might just stop in your chest. "I... there is a lot of things I used to say, that it's best if I don't say anymore," you manage, looking up at the sky instead of at him. It's cloudy and dark, the stars barely managing to shine through all the fog.

"Why not?" he asks, genuine, needing to know.

"Because things can't be how they were Nikolai, not anymore, not now," you say, "and you know that better than I do."

"I don't believe that," he says, leaning on the wall. You look at his waistcoat, wondering how it would look if he were to return to the party with the dirt of the garden on his good clothes.

"You need to," you say, stepping to stand beside him, resting your arms on the wall, hands just out of subtle reach of his. He would have to reach for you, intentionally, knowingly, noticeably to take your hand in his. Part of you wants him to, part of you knows he really shouldn't.

"You're really trying to sound convincing aren't you?" he asks.

"I am allowed my fantasies, you cannot afford them," you admit. He smiles, but you can feel the sadness thinly veiled by the smugness.

"So you have fantasies about me?" He cocks his head to give you a look.

"You shouldn't keep them waiting," you say, not giving in to him, as much as you want to.

"I'm royalty, I never keep anyone waiting, they're just too eager," he says. He moves his hand over, just a small amount, considering it as he edges across the stone of the wall. You remind yourself not to hold your breath.

"Nikolai..." you whisper. "You can't do this." You want to tell him that it is not fair, to have loved him all this time, and always known he could never be yours. With him this close the idea that he could, even for a moment is filling your brain with desires and thoughts you've tried hard to bury.

"But what if we did anyway," he asks. "Tell me like I am not what I am, but just who I am, forget the titles and the obligations. If it was not about the rules and Zoya and the parade of princesses and diplomats that I am expected to smile at and charm. If it was just you and I, tell me like it was that."

"Why?" you ask. "What is the point?"

"So I know," he says, "I need to know if I am truly going mad, or if maybe, my dashing charms have won over even you."

"My feelings for you have nothing to do with your charms Nikolai," you smile to yourself, "I fell for you long before you became so boyishly handsome."

"And my heart belonged to you long before I ever thought I could be king," he admits.

"But you did get handsome, and you are King," you say.

"What if," he takes your hand now and the warmth of his hand engulfing yours makes your breath hitch, "we just didn't care about it. What if I told Zoya that she needn't worry with her matchmaking because there is no one I would be willing to rule with that isn't you?"

"I'd say you're a fool, and that only Kings in bed time stories marry for love," you say.

"And I would remind you once said every prince in every fairy tale made you think of me."

"Saints I really used to say things didn't I?"

"I always loved that about you."

"You still say things."

"Say you'll have me," he says, "if you will have me, I will sort the rest."

"And have to dance with you in front of people, I don't think I could do that, you misstep," you tease.

"You stepped on my foot," he chuckles. You look at him, and those eyes are staring right back at you, into you, like he could see exactly who you are at a glance, like he has always known. Like every breath, ever step, has always been leading here, to this moment. "You're leaving me without an answer."

"Nikolai," you whisper, "you're not supposed to make this choice."

"But I want to make it anyway," he says, "I am King, no one will argue with me."

"Zoya will," you say as his hand brushes your cheek.

"Let her try," he says. "So... is that a yes? All I ask is that you say yes if you want to, not because you should or shouldn't but because you want to, and you speak to me as you always have, and call me like you once did."

"Kolya," you whisper, and the softness in your voice is answer enough, but you tell him anyway, "yes."

[foreverjustaplace]

The Bear in the Room

AHHHHHHH!! I'm not at all normal about Syd and Carmy. Like not at all. I have been reading and writing fanfiction since elementary LOL, but it's been years and years since I wrote anything. I've devoured just about every single fanfic with the Syd/Carmy tag I could find and then some. I've had this tumblr for over a decade and posted ZERO things. Now I've retweeted every other sydcarmy post and debated sharing my own theories and fics. But it's time. Feedback is welcomed! But be gentle, my darlings, I'm not exaggerating when I say I haven’t written fanfiction in over a decade. I'm nervous. Here's an excerpt from the first chapter, which will hopefully be up soon on AO3. It's called The Bear in The Room and will be a 5+1 Time fic.

5 Times Syd called Carmy "Bear" and 1 Times he calls her "Bear"

Syd is irritated. “Look, Carm. Effective teamwork begins and ends with communication.” She doesn’t tell him she stole that line from Coach K. “How can we build this up to be as successful as we want it to be if you’re not even telling me you’re going to be late? Or, I don’t know, text me if you’re not going to come in at all during our scheduled time.”

“Syd, that was one time. And I didn’t realize my phone wasn’t plugged in properly which is why it died and I couldn’t text you until much later. That’s my fault. I was tired–”

Sydney cuts him off. “Carmy, dude, I’ve literally gotten less than five hours of sleep each night for the last couple of weeks. We’re all tired. We’ve been tired. This shit isn’t new for us. We need you on your A-game. I need you at your best!” 

Carmy runs both of his hands through his hair, and his voice is strained but louder than it’s been all morning. “Syd, you are the one person who gets me at my best. If I’m fucking up out there,” he gestures to the windows behind them as he continues, “I’m doing everything in my power to not bring that shit near you. I give you whatever my best is, okay? You have to know that I want this restaurant to succeed, and I want to get you those fucking stars.” His face redding as his electric blue eyes look into her expansive brown ones. 

Syd’s annoyance is fizzling out. She knows she shouldn’t let it. She wants to keep it at the forefront of her mind. She tries to force herself to keep thinking about how he’s been absent, hanging out with his girlfriend–a friend who’s a girl–Claire–whoever she is to him–but he’s still Carm and she’s still Syd. And though she hasn’t worked on the menu with him in his apartment in weeks, and though the moments of them talking about nothing and everything outside during a smoke break, where he somehow is always just finishing the cigarette he came outside to smoke as she opens the back door and comes to sit right next to him, haven’t been as frequent, she still feels deeply connected to him. 

So all she can do at that moment is bite her bottom lip and swipe her tongue on that same spot so quickly, you’d miss it if you blinked, before hesitantly responding. “You have my best, too, and I—” But she doesn’t get to finish because Fak chooses that moment to push the restaurant’s new door open and boisterously yell out to no one in particular, “Look who I found! It’s Claire Bear and she is going to help us with our GET-THE-BEAR-FUCKING-READY-FOR-OPENING-DAY day!” Syd can’t help but stare at Claire, a beat too long, with her full face of makeup and fancy-looking shirt. At least she put on some closed-toed shoes for today. Before Claire can get out of Fak’s embrace, Syd turns back to Carmen and says, “I need your best to be better,” as she walks off to find Nat.

Soo what do you think? Is it worth posting?

[sageryuri]

BANDAID, NISHIMURA RIKI.

pairing nishimura riki + afab!reader.

genre fluff, minor angst.

summary when it reaches the warmth of summer in australia, you and your friends go through the effort of making it as fun as possible before going back to your normal lives. it doesn’t feel so enjoyable when your friendship with riki becomes more confusing than before he left.

word count 10.4k (unedited).

warnings cursing, reader may seem a little irritating on her judgements of riki but i think her feelings are valid, alcohol, slightly intense kiss scene. no idols represented in this writing are not based on their real self.

an finally here!! my favourite fanfic genre tbh…

Australia's strong heat beats down onto your skin, but it's been so long that you're simply used to the feeling. You had always hated the cold, the feeling of having heaps on clothing on your body to keep you warm only leaving you angered and overstimulated.

Sunghoon complains behind you to Jay, he rummages around his bag and pulls out a pair of sunglasses. Since he had only moved to Australia recently after only visiting every few months for a week or so, he wasn't as used to the beating sun as the rest of his friends were.

You smile at Sunoo as he comes jogging to the rest of you, the last person to arrive onto the beach. Heeseung lets out a loud 'woop!' knowing he promised he wouldn't go into the ocean until everyone had arrived, he greets Sunoo before he along with Jake run across the hot sand to the water.

"They're so dramatic. It's only one PM, they have all day to go in there. I don't see why they enjoy it so much, I feel like I end up drinking most of the water." Sunoo states, taking a seat next to you on your lilac blanket — you always opted for a blanket rather than a towel, it was comfortable and you would use your towel if you decided to swim.

"That's kind of disgusting, Sun. I don't know, I guess it's relaxing when the waves aren't hitting. Look at Hoon, that man is dying, he probably needs to go in the water." You and Sunoo turn to look at Sunghoon, who has spread himself to take over his shared towel with Jungwon, who has already fallen asleep and has 10% of the surface area.

"Can we stop bullying me! It's not my fault I've only lived here for two weeks, give me time and soon enough I'll be as tanned as Jay and I'll handle the heat better than any of you." Sunghoon lifts himself, almost hitting Jungwon in the face but narrowly missing him. He goes to lay back down afterwards, but gets angry for a second time,  "You know what, at least I'm not like Riki! He was- oh, oh- I'm sorry. Forgot I wasn't supposed to bring him up."

Oh, Riki.

"You're allowed to bring him up, he's still our friend. I just- I guess I'm just more sensitive about him than the rest of you were." Unconsciously, your arm goes to grab onto your necklace in discomfort at the mention of his name.

As a child, the size of the nursery could be compared to a sky-scraper in your eyes. Your tiny hands grabbed harshly onto your mother's blouse as her and your father take you towards the gate, "You'll be okay, baby. They're going to take care of you while daddy and I are working, they'll teach you lots of new things and you'll make lots of new friends!"

You let out a small whine as you are pulled forward slightly by your mother, and she takes you to a younger woman with chocolate brown eyes and dark curly hair.

"Hello! You must be YN, it's really nice to meet you. My name is Grace and I'll be taking care of you while you're here. Now, I know you're new here, and I have a friend for you who is new here too!" Behind the woman you noticed the boy that was trying his best to hide away from you, but after being mentioned he stepped out slightly, “This is Riki, he just started today too.”

When he offers you a small smile and wave, your friendship began to bloom.

The memory of your first meeting slowly dissipated, and your mind was back to the present, on the beach with all of your friends. Sunoo and Sunghoon appear to have been unaware of you spacing out as they argued with one another. Jungwon is still fast asleep and the other three boys have found themselves pushing each other around in the ocean.

Riki always felt like a missing piece of a puzzle.

You find yourself nestling into your blanket to sunbathe a little before the rowdier boys would come back and irritate you. When you close your eyes, Sunoo always begins to speak so that you don't fall asleep since it was so difficult to wake you up afterwards.

"Don't you have a shift later at Emma's Diner? You want me to pick you up so you aren't walking home by yourself?" You peel your eyes open to look at him, sunglasses now perched on his nose. You groan at the mention of the shift you would have to go to later.

You loved your job, being favoured amongst customers and having a lenient boss. It doesn't change that you would rather be on the beach with your friends rather than have them be irritating in a booth while you busied yourself making their meals and milkshakes.

"Yeah, I'm working the closing shift. So, please do come and pick me up. I know it's only a ten minute walk but it's so scary walking at twelve PM. Especially since they haven't fixed the broken street lights yet." Living in a small town meant that everyone knew each other, so it was unlikely anything would ever truly happen while you were out late. It didn't make you feel entirely safe though.

"Of course, I'll come a little earlier so you can make me one of those amazing mint chocolate milkshakes. Ugh, it feels like it's been so long since I've had one of those." Sunoo lets out a satisfied sound as he thinks about the diner milkshakes. At some point, you wondered if he was only friends with you for your milkshake-making skills (a joke, you had hoped).

"You had one two days ago!" You let out a loud laugh which causes Jungwon to stir in his sleep, not waking up but turning on his side — you put a spare towel over his so that he doesn't burn. You turn back to Sunoo who has diverted his attention to the boys in the ocean, who are carrying Jake by his arms and legs to throw him in.

"Yeah, but you weren't working two days ago. Don't tell anyone, but you make the best milkshakes out of everyone." Funnily enough, everyone already knew that you made the best milkshakes in town. You suppose that's why you still have the same job from when you were fourteen years old.

"I guess we're all lucky that I got that job."  You continue to smile, thinking of all the fond memories you had made just in the small space of the diner.

"Well, you had more of a chance than anyone."

The longer you waited for the call back from the diner, the longer Riki would groan as he watched you take big strides around your bedroom — a place not made to take big strides in.

There weren't many career opportunities going around for people your age, but ever since your father fell ill and was unable to work, you wanted to provide some help for your family. The act of attempting to actually get a job had turned out to be harder than you anticipated, already being rejected from other places due to a late application and lack of spaces.

"Can you stand still? Or you know, take a breather? I think you're taking this a lot more seriously than it actually is. You don't even have to get a job, I mean, you're still in school. I haven't even thought about getting a job yet." There was not a moment in Riki's life where he seemed to feel an ounce of worry. Even now while you trampled over heaps of clothing on the floor of your room, he scrolls through Twitter on his phone.

"You, my friend, don't have a sick father who can barely move from the bedroom- and I know you're going to try and bring up the fact he's getting sick pay, but it's basically nothing. I just want to help out and- oh my god my phone is ringing." You're interrupted by the sound of you phone, the caller ID being displayed as 'Emma (my maybe future boss)' and you end up prancing around your room even more intensely.

Riki wants to pick up the phone for you as he's so sure you got the job and he doesn't want you to risk losing it.

"Pick it up! What are you waiting for stupid?" Riki is very quick to grab your phone and force it into your shaking hands, so you take in a deep breath and answer the phone before the call would disconnect.

"Hello! Yes, that's me. Of course, yes. Oh- oh! Thank you so much! Yeah, yeah I can absolutely make it tomorrow. Bye!" Your voice becomes higher pitched when you answer, Riki smiles as he acknowledges the habit that he had picked up on a few years ago whenever you were on a phone call; and he couldn't miss the smile which had appeared on your face when you ended the call, "I got the fucking job!"

"-Is she dead? I'm starting to think she might be dead. Jay, will you please begin preparing for her funeral? I would like for it to be dramatic and elegant and everyone must wear suits and gowns." You feel yourself coming back into your consciousness from the sound of Heeseung's obnoxious voice, so you open your eyes and look through your sunglasses to see him with his left hand on his chest.

"Oh my god, shut the fuck up. She's probably just ignoring you because of how annoying you are!" Sunoo hits Heeseung's shoulder, grimacing at him before giving you a loving smile.

"Sorry... I got a little caught up in my daydreams." You rub your eyes lightly and allow yourself to adjust to the sun again through your sunglasses. It had become a little dimmer outside, but still too bright to walk around sunglasses-free.

"Daydreams? You've been lay there without a word for over half an hour. I'm fairly sure you fell asleep, thank you for covering me with the towel by the way." Jungwon is up and awake now, and your eyebrows shape to show shock on your face as you wonder what on earth you had dreamt about.

Surely you wouldn't have dreamt of just Riki for that long? You were sure you had been awake this whole time.

"Fuck, really? I should probably head home before I have to go to my shift. I'll see you all tomorrow I imagine?" You reply, pulling out your phone to check the time. It had now reached 3PM (somehow), which meant you had about two hours to prepare yourself to work.

It was always busiest when you began working, so the first two hours always drove you insane.

"Of course, see you around!" They all say goodbye, some giving hugs and some opting for waves, though Jake had almost popped a lung when he cuddled you so tightly against his chest.

You arrive home, still living with your mother and father in their little apartment which gives you a perfect view of the ocean. When the streetlights came on, you liked to look from yout window and watch the waves move with elegance.

It had been a few years since your father recovered from his illness and had gotten back into working, he had stated that it was fine if you had wanted to leave the diner and relax for a little while. The diner had become a large aspect of your life and leaving it would leave something missing — you had already lost something when Riki left for Japan, the diner being somewhat of a reminder of him.

"Oh, good afternoon! Are you going to work soon?" Your mother is pondering around the living room with cleaning products while your father is sat staring at the television. You find it strange that's she's cleaning since it's Saturday, and that was usually her resting day.

"Why are you cleaning? You never clean on a Saturday, the living room wasn't even a mess this morning." You respond, ignoring her question, since she did know the answer to it. Jumping on the sofa next to your father, he lets out an 'oof' as you practically land on his leg that had been perched up onto the sofa.

He generally spoke to you when you got home, yet he was being strangely quiet. You were sure they were both hiding something.

"I wish you weren't so observant sometimes, you should be like your father." She rolls her eyes with a smile, but her eyes reveal that she's nervous about something. It makes your stomach churn with anxiety as you wonder if you had done anything wrong recently.

You go through every moment in the last week in your mind.

"I'm actually quite observant, I just don't say anything about what I notice. It's all stored up here." He doesn't take his eyes from the screen when he knocks at his own head, watching a show he's likely watched on repeat since the 90s, you were sure he'd seen this episode over five times now.

"Okay... Do you have something to tell me? You're both being weird which means you're trying to hide something from me, and it's causing heavy worry to run through my body." You reply, your mother sighs and sits across from you on the smaller chair, "Has someone died? This feels... serious."

"No, no. No one's dead. We do have something to tell you, and we only found out after you left. I was just a little worried to tell you about who came knocking on our door this morning." She sounds almost excited, a soft smile replaces the one she had previously held, "Riki's mother came this morning. He's back- for good that is. She said he wants to see you and everyone else."

Half of you feels morbid, you're angry. The other half fills with excitement and wonder as to why he had come back after so many years.

After deciding not to question them on the situation so much considering you were hardly processing it yourself, you nodded your head in shock before walking into your room and closing the door slowly. You leave an ominous message to Sunoo, asking him to bring Sunghoon along with him later and to come a little earlier.

"What? You're joking! How long has he been back for? And why didn't he say anything to any of us?" Sunoo drops the fry back onto his plate, his jaw dropped as you reveal that Riki is back in town.

The three of you were in one of the booths in the diner, you had locked up and moved the 'open' side onto the 'closed' side, even though it was unlikely there would be any other customers at this time. As you had thought, the two of them also had no idea that Riki was back.

"Well, it's not like we really stayed in contact with after a couple of months. It's been three years." Sunghoon retorts, he continues to eat the food you had made him. He had always been so sure that Riki wouldn't stay in Japan forever, therefore having a weaker reaction compared to Sunoo.

"I still don't get it, I mean- he moved away for a reason and now he's back, and his mum is knocking on my front door and he isn't." You're now irritated, but under that irritation you're counting down the minutes until your old best friend would be standing in front of you — and he would be different from all those years ago.

"He'll be nervous. The town hasn't changed but I'm sure we have and so has he. Give him some time." Sunghoon continues to eat and you allow yourself to take in his words.

You didn't want to be mad at Riki, you didn't want to see him for the first time again in years and not know what to do with yourself. Sunghoon was right, you were sure of it, but you also couldn’t help the way that you felt.

As your mother always stated, you had been as observant as she had been with the body language and habits of others, knowing if someone was acting out of the ordinary compared to their usual act.

On this day, Riki had left you feeling confused when he hadn't complained about you stumbling around his room.

To other people, this may not have been unusual; but Riki had always told you to sit down and stop walking around his room because it made him feel anxious. He always felt like you were nervous about something and that you were about to drop a bomb on him, thought it was just because you found it difficult to stay still.

"Are you okay? You haven't really said anything in awhile- and you haven't told me to sit down either." You jump onto the bed next to him, the bed creaking as you landed and bounced up and down.

"Sorry, I'm just feeling a little sick I think." You pout at his words, knowing that he's lying to you. He looks just as he does usually and he hasn't done anything that would insinuate that he had been ill.

"You look perfectly fine to me, plus you wouldn't invite me over if you felt sick. You can talk to me, we tell each other everything don't we?" You comfort him, he furrows his eyebrows and throws his face into his hands with a rough groan, and you can feel your heart beat faster at his clear distress.

Finally, Riki turns to look at you and his bottom lip is pulled between his teeth as his eyes begin to brim with tears. You reach forward to brush them away, he finds solace in your warmth and leans into the touch as your hands hold his face softly.

"I'm moving to Japan next week- my parents bought some land there and are planning on building up their business. They found a really good school for me to attend to finish my studies, and they want me to go to college and university there." Riki sighs, he looks at you with sad eyes, "I don't know if I'll ever be coming back. At least not for a long while."

"Oh... Riki why didn't you tell me earlier? When did you find this out?" You finally pull your hand away, though you feel a mix of negative emotions building up inside of your body as you listen to your best friend, "You should have told me."

"It's been a few months. I'm sorry, I just didn't want to worry you or anything." Riki seems to become quieter and quieter as he speaks, and his fingers wrap around yours while they tremble.

"Well, you can visit can't you?" You had made an attempt to make light of the situation, "You can tell everyone all about Japan- we don't leave Australia very often. It would be nice to know."

"I'm not sure." In his response, his voice becomes even more timid somehow. You know that you're upset at him for not telling you, you know you're angry that your best friend may be leaving you forever — but hearing his voice sound so broken left you wanting to hold him for the next week you had left with him.

The atmosphere of the room weakens and you barely share anymore words with each other.

When you had gone to visit him a few days later, he was already gone.

"I know he'll be nervous. I'm just angry that he never gave me a real goodbye. Then he talked to you guys a lot more than he talked to me. I just thought that he was my best friend, but it really felt like he didn't see me that way." You start to

stab at your meal with a pout, thinking about all of those years spent together just to be thrown like grains of sand.

Sunghoon and Sunoo look at each other, but you're too busy poking your food to notice.

"You ever thought he might have had a crush on you?" Sunoo mutters and you look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"No, I never got that impression from him- but he never really talked about relationships or anything to me so I wouldn't know how he acts around someone he has feelings for." You lean onto your hand, looking up as you think, "Even then, why would he ignore me if he liked me? Surely he would be doing the opposite."

"You were his best friend and I intend to believe that you still are. If anything, he was probably scared because of it. Going to Japan would have helped him get over you. That's if he did have feelings for you." Sunghoon is nonchalant, as he usually would be in situations such as this.

In times like this, Sunoo and Sunghoon would always be your go-to for advice and comfort because they would always help to reassure you that it isn't the end of the world — and if it felt like it really was, they were always your biggest supporters no matter the situation.

"As interesting as your theory is, I'm not sure." You stare at one of the old, blinking lights of the diner, as if it were an idea attempting to spring to the front of your mind, "I just want to see him again. I need to understand why he never explained why he wouldn't talk to me."

"He'll come around, he has to. Don't worry." Sunghoon reaches over and rubs your head soothingly with a soft smile, Sunoo giving a much larger one which comforts you just as much. You finish up your meals, after heading home you lay in your bed for another hour thinking about Riki.

You feel relieved when you wake up in the morning knowing that you have the whole day to yourself; no work, no chores, nothing at all. Waking up at ten AM instead of six feels great, just as great as it feels knowing the night is free for you too.

The group chat between you and your friends is blowing up, you blink your eyes to get used to the bright light of your phone screen. Everyone appears to be active, thought you're too tired to take in every single message, just getting the gist everyone wanted to go to the arcade today.

After a few minutes of being awake, your mother wanders into your room holding a hamper basket of clean clothing, beginning to fold it in the corner of your room, "Rise and shine, honey. You got any plans today?"

"Arcade I think. I'm not sure when, but probably around the same time I usually leave. I want to lounge around a bit first though, I love my spare days when I'm not working." You roll over to lie onto your stomach and she lets out a scoff, though you know she's only joking with you.

She knows you work hard.

"You'll have fun. Try not to let Jake spend all of his money this time please, his mother sounded absolutely gob-smacked when he told her how much he'd spent in that place." She chuckles under her breath and you smile at the thought. Mrs. Sim loathed spending money, but Jake seemed to find it to be his favourite hobby.

"I'm not in control how how Jake likes to spend his money, he's addicted to the arcade. I don't think he'd listen to me of all people." Your eyes are still closed as you bask in your last few moments of peace before you would have to go through your simple routine, you can feel the heat radiating through your window onto your back when your mother opens the curtains.

"Who knows. I know it might seem a little too soon for you, maybe you should see if Riki would like to come along." Even just by saying his name, your heart beats faster and you feel as if you had broken out into a sweat. He shouldn't be making you feel so anxious.

"He hasn't spoken to me yet." You know this doesn't surprise her.

"I know. I know he hasn't. And I know it isn't fair that he came back out of nowhere and you're finding it difficult to adjust to it." She sits down next to you, stroking your hair lightly on the back of your head, "He is too. It'll all be fine once you finally see each other again, just like when you were younger."

"Thank you." Finally, you turn around to sit up and give her hug before she would leave the room to carry on her endeavours — you would go ahead and make a ham and cheese toastie and get ready for the day ahead of you.

The arcade is just as packed as it tends to be, children racing each other around and occasionally apologising to teenagers and adults they bumped into and continuing their adventure with their friends.

It's sweet knowing that this was what you used to do when you were a child.

"You're such a fucking cheat! You can't throw shit at me to block my view, then start hitting the puck! Heeseung, I'm never playing this game with you ever again. In fact, don't talk to me ever again." Jungwon throws the jacket harshly back towards Heeseung, who is laughing loudly with Sunghoon after he wins the game for the third time.

"I don't see any rules that tell me that I'm not allowed to throw jackets at people whenever I desire. Hate the game not the player." Heeseung and Sunghoon high five each other and Jungwon rolls his eyes, Jay comes over and gives him a soft slap on the shoulder for reassurance that at least one person in the room has his back.

"No- no- I'm hating the player very hard at this moment in time. Sunghoon stop laughing, he'll do the exact same thing to you." Jungwon's voice raises louder, two children are giggling at him from behind the claw machine and it's unclear if that had calmed him down or frustrated him even more.

You begin to ignore the argument, looking around for Jake who should have been here twenty minutes ago. If anyone was ever late, it wouldn't bother you so much, though you had a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach that was starting to make you feel nauseous.

"I don't mean to interrupt your squabbling but where's Jake? He'd be here by now, you think he's okay?" The rest of them shrug at your worry, knowing that it was unlikely Jake was doing nothing but being fashionable late — something was beginning to really bother you, but you couldn't work out what it was.

"Jake has arrived! And, I'm showing up with a big surprise." Jake's voice booms through the arcade and everyone greets him before they notice the larger figure standing behind him.

He's gotten taller- taller than Heeseung now. His body is more toned and defined and he's grown into his features. His hair is styled rather than flopping over his forehead like you had remembered.

Riki coming back would be a lot harder to accept than you had truly anticipated, and you knew it would be difficult.

The boys crowd around him, picking him and throwing him around in happiness, ecstatic laughs ringing through out the building. You're stuck in place, watching his face contort through emotions.

You smile.

When the others are done parading around Riki, almost all of their eyes turn to look at you, apart from Jake and Sunghoon who were ready to put all of his cash into the punching machine. When Riki finally makes eye contact with you, both of your worlds appear to stop.

It's as if you had both been dropped into an empty box. His face changes expression, practically monotone, but you can tell that he isn't disappointed to see you. Slowly, he examines you from head to toe; you've grown up too.

"Hi." It appears to be the only words that can slip past his lips, and as you had expected, his voice had deepened to. This was still the same Riki you had known ever since you were a child, all the resentment you had held towards him faded away from your memory immediately.

You aren't particularly thinking in the moment, before you realise it your hands are around Riki's back and tears are streaming down your face, you feel the vaguely familiar hands of your best friend enveloping your body.

"Fuck, I really really missed you Riki." Your voice is undeniably shaky, the grasp you had on the back of his shirt tightens as you let out tiny sobs. Tenderly, Riki brings his hand to land on-top of your head and moves back and forth, "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too... I'm sorry for ever leaving you behind." He murmurs into your ear so that you're the only one who hears his words, knowing that the only person he truly wants to know this is you.

The two of you remember where you both are, standing in an arcade surrounded by your friends and heaps of children. It felt embarrassing, but anyone else would react the same way after so long. You feel him pull away from you, shivering at the loss of warmth that had been radiating from his body against yours.

"Welcome back, dude! We've got so much to show you- we have a fair and everything now! I can't believe you're back now..." Jay's arms hold onto the younger boys once again as he gives you one last look, being pulled away to watch Jake and Sunghoon argue after their punching machine adventures.

When the day comes to an end, you notice that talking to Riki doesn't feel the same anymore. At least you had felt so, the others were chatting with him as if he had never left. There were longing stares and banter, but something felt uncomfortable between the two of you, which you couldn't explain.

Heeseung offers to drive you home when he sees you rubbing your arm in the corner.

"You gonna tell me what's wrong with you?"  The car ride had been practically silent up until this point, apart from the quiet music coming from Heeseung's radio, "You were moping in the corner for the last half an hour, that's not like you."

"I think I'm just a little lost right now, confused I guess." You answer, leaning your head against the window while you watch the houses passing by. Heeseung lets out a low chuckle, though not to make fun of you, just to show he understands how you're feeling from his own experiences.

"Is it because of Riki?" Heeseung had always been direct, you think it helps when trying to get people to talk about their feelings and give them advice. You sigh for maybe the twentieth time in the last two hours and let out how you feel to your close friend.

"I knew he was back, before today. His mum came to our house and talked to my family. I've been feeling nervous the last few days. Seeing him today made me feel better, but even after he hugged me it didn't feel like he missed me all that much." Your lips quiver slightly as you speak, just as your voice wavers, but you don't want to cry in front of Heeseung.

"He's probably just as scared as you are." It almost feels like people have been talking about your problems, everyone giving you the same answer you already had.

"Yeah, that's what everyone's been telling me, Hee. I know it won't go back to how it was straight away, but I would have liked if he'd talked to me more after our big, loving reunion." Hearing the same thing on repeat — Sunghoon, Sunoo, your mother and now Heeseung— only bothered you more.

"Do you want me to talk to him for you? I don't mind giving him a slap around the back of his head." He snickers, you turn your head away from the window to smile at him to show you appreciate his help.

Despite your feelings, you don't think Riki deserves a slap around the back of his head.

"It's okay, thank you. It'll be better if I talk to him myself." Though you value the help your friends and family try to provide for you in unfortunate times like this, it would be more effective to deal with it yourself. No one was better at explaining your feelings and morals than yourself.

Heeseung parks up in front of your house, the sun slowly beginning to hide behind the walls of your coral-coloured home. You bite your lip and give him one last meaningful smile, which he always returns.

"No worries- you know I'm always here when you need me." He responds, you leave his car and say goodbye before he drives off down the road back to his own apartment.

The diner is slow today. It's the same customers (as expected, it's a small town), except everyone seems unrealistically grumpy and a woman said you had put too much coffee in her coffee which was completely baffling.

You leaned on your palm on the counter, happy Emma wasn't in today so she wouldn't tell you to sit up because it drove away customers — it didn't, you doubted they cared that you were bored on the job as long as you actually did your job.

However, the universe would never allow you to have a boring, uneventful day; because the man who had been on your mind for years wanders through the doors of your safe place.

"Hey, sorry I don't mean to intrude. Sunghoon said this is where you worked." His deep voice rings through your ears and racks your brain, he looks almost too perfect to be real and you wouldn't be surprised if you were making this all up in your head.

"Yeah, it is." You try to quickly think of something to say before it manages to get awkward, "What brings you here? I make a pretty mean milkshake."

"Yeah, I remember pretty well." He grins at you, all too familiar to when he was younger and you had been practicing making the milkshakes for your new job.

Using a blender was not something that you had the pleasure of taking part in often. In fact, you were petrified that you were about to break your mother's very precious blender to practice making milkshakes.

"Did you press it in right? I'm not sure you pressed it in fully. It's gonna spew everywhere." Niki is sat on your kitchen counter and has given zero effort to try and help you use the blender — 'i'm not the one working' he says.

"You're annoying me! Yes, it's in right!" You angrily whisper-shout to Riki, trying your best not to wake up your sleeping father in his bedroom. Confused, you examine the blender, "Or at least I think it is..."

"I'm scared. I don't want to be covered is strawberry juice, milk and ice cream." Riki groans, a vibrant habit of his, though still not making any efforts to move if this were to go terribly wrong.

"Have some faith in me please." You whine, pouring the rest of the milk into the blender cup. After reassuring yourself you had done it successfully, you shut your eyes and clicked the button.

There is no feeling of cold liquid splatting onto your body, which feels like a positive sign. Cautiously, you opened your eyes at the sound of silence when it had finished, which Riki appears to have done too.

"Oh. You did it." The shocked sound residing in Riki's voice almost bothers you, he has no belief in your skills (he's your biggest supporter, he's just avoidant with his affection).

The milkshake looks perfect. It's a deep pink colour due to the grenadine you had decided to pour into it, in courtesy of the milkshakes your mother would provide for you that you were sure you had become addicted to since the day you took your first sip.

"Of course I did it." After pulling off the lid from the blender, you pour the liquid into the milkshake glass, passing it off to Riki to get another person's opinion, "Try it."

Riki is hesitant to take the glass from your hands, pulling his hand back and forth dramatically. You pout sadly at him with furrowed eyebrows, then he only laughs loudly before holding the glass in his hands and smelling the contents of it.

"This better not be disgusting..." You clasp your hands together in anticipation when Riki finally takes a sip through the straw, taking your bottom lip between your teeth when he pulls away and smacks his lips, "Oh- Oh wow."

That day, you found out that your hidden talent was making the most delicious milkshakes in town.

"You Okay? You're spacing out a little." Riki waves his hands in front of your face to get your attention back on his current self and away from his old self. Your face heats up in embarrassment and you focus your eyes back onto his face.

"Oh, sorry, I've been doing that a lot lately... So, want a milkshake?" You repeat your question, due to both being unsure as to what you could say and the need to relive apart of your past with Riki. Unsurprisingly, Riki had always been your favourite person to make milkshakes for, even after he had left.

"When do you get off work?" Riki asks, leaning himself onto the counter. You feel your heart drop, wondering if it was finally time for the both of you to spend time alone together as two grown adults.

"Uh... In about twenty minutes. What's up?" You're trying your best to keep eye contact with him, but his intense gaze makes it difficult, he has very pretty eyes and they're making you strangely anxious.

"I was wondering if you wanted to catch up, it's been a long while. Plus, I think I owe you an explanation." You both swallow a lump in your throat at the same time and Riki's hand gets closer to yours on the desk, "And I would love a milkshake by the way."

"Yeah, I think I could do with a catch up. You can wait in one of the booth's if you want." A small smile appears on your face which makes him grin at you also. He nods his head, taking a seat at the booth closest to where you were working.

With the feeling of his eyes on your for almost the whole twenty minutes, time moved slowly and you became much more cautious about your movements.

He takes you to the park that is a ten minute walk from the diner, the walk filled with small talk conversation and reminiscing of your past relationship as children and teenagers. Finally being able to speak with Riki is nice.

"How have you been?" You watch two children on the park push each other on the swing instead of sharing eye contact with Riki, though finally getting used to having him back in your presence again, "God, it still feels weird having you back. I'm glad you're staying."

"I've been pretty good, surviving. It was fun in Japan, but I always wanted to come back." He smiles but you don't notice, considering you have been avoiding looking at him ever since he had sat in that booth in the diner, "I wanted to apologise for how I was with you when we were at the arcade. I didn't mean to ignore you like that, but you know, you're different to the boys. You were- still are, my best friend. I'll admit that I felt a little awkward after so long, but I shouldn't have avoided you like that."

"I understand, I'll admit I knew you were back before we saw you at the arcade. I was kind of freaked out because it's been so long and I was really nervous, so I could have reached out to you beforehand but I just really couldn't bring myself to. So, I'm sorry for that too." Your palms become a little clammy and you begin to unconsciously twiddle your thumbs while spilling your feelings out,"Did Heeseung speak to you or anything?"

"You don't have to apologise for anything, I really think this is all on me. I really missed you." You decide that this was time to look at him. The light of the sun shines on him so perfectly, you feel as if you could get lost looking at him.

You finally had your best friend back.

"I really missed you too, I wish we could go back to how it was before you moved to Japan." Somehow, you still feel like you can be completely honest with the boy, the one you had dissipated away from so long ago. In your minds, you both knew that something between you was different and would never go back.

"How about we start over?" Riki suggests and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

"What do you mean?" The wind gets a little harsher with your words, forcing your hair to flow into your face — Riki reaches forward to move it away, then pushing his out in front of you chest as if he was waiting for a handshake.

"I'm Nishimura Riki, it's nice to meet you." He smiles brightly, like the way the sun had been shining into his deep brown eyes. Laughing, you take his hand into yours and shake it, introducing yourself to him as if this was your first meeting.

Riki feels a shiver down his spine as your smaller, warmer hands slip into his.

A smile had been plastered on your face ever since the previous day. Your mother had been adamant on you telling her what had got you so jumpy and ecstatic, but you would just say it was nothing and go skipping back to your room.

It has been repeating in your mind every moment, you could barely stay on your phone or read a book without closing your eyes and replaying the whole moment in your head that had your grin growing larger.

"Honey, Sunoo is here!" Your mother shouts from downstairs, her voice drags you out of your daydreams and you sit up from your bed. Sunoo comes bursting into your room, jumping onto your bed with a smile almost as huge as yours had been.

He looks at you expectingly, to which you give him a strange look.

"Well, go on then!" He pushed your shoulder and you only continue to look at him with the same baffled facial expression, nudging him back with your hand in return.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Sunoo's jaw drops at your response and you can only let out a loud laugh at this shocked expression — how could you have any idea what he was talking about when he gave you no information to stem from?

"You were with Riki yesterday! Tell me about it." He grabs your television remote and turns the TV off, interrupting your show that had been playing on and off since you had woken up. You scoff, taking the remote from him and placing it onto your rocky sidetable.

"How did you even know about that?" You laugh, turning your body to face him, crossing your legs on your bed. Looking up at the ceiling, you wonder what to tell Sunoo. All day, you've been daydreaming about it, but speaking it aloud didn't feel as exciting as your brain had been making if out to be.

"Because you're my best friend... I was with Sunghoon when Riki asked where you worked. I just assumed he was wanting to hang out with you. So, quick, tell me everything that happened." Sunoo's eyes are set on your face, he doesn't take a second to look away.

In your mind, you think about the conversation that you and Riki had. Sure, you told Sunoo everything. Other people's business was also your business when it came to gossiping with him; but the redevelopment of your relationship seemed a whole lot more personal, and you were going to be a hypocrite.

"We just apologised to each other, then he asked if we wanted to start over. It was quite nice actually." You shrug, wanting to keep the peaceful moment you had between you and Riki. Unsurprisingly, the boy sitting in front of you pulls a face of disgust at your response.

"Wow, you aren't even going to tell me all the details." His eyes roll, which you had expected from him — you know he understands thought, since he smirks at you when he thinks you aren't paying attention to him.

"I'm tired! I'll tell you another time. It isn't as exciting as you're anticipating it to be." You lie back onto your bed and Sunoo joins you on the left side closest to the window which brought in a cold breeze; he doesn't believe you'll ever tell him what happened that day, "Is that all you came here for?"

"Actually, I have something to tell you. Since Riki is finally back and Jay's parents are out of town, we're going to host a surprise welcoming party for Riki. Do not mention it to him! I've already had to calm Jake down about five times." Your pink-haired friends claps his hands in excitement.

It would be nice to have everyone around to join and have a good time to welcome Riki back. Half the town likely had no idea Riki was home and they would have missed him too, so a house party would be the perfect opportunity for the community to come back together.

"Well, I'm not Jake! I'm very good at keep secret. My lips are sealed." You pull your fingers across your lips to imitate a zip, turning your head when an idea pops into your head, "Do you want to watch Gone Girl?"

"Of course I want to watch Gone girl."

This would be the first time you and Riki were hanging out after deciding to 'start over'. When you were younger, you all would go to the summer fair in January to welcome the New Year.

"Get- get the fuck off! What is it with you and fucking jumping people? There's kids here! What if you knocked one over?" Jay tries his best to push Riki from his back, his angry furrowed brows making you giggle.

"I think that would be kind of funny." Sunghoon says under his breath, though it's loud enough for you and Jungwon to hear, which results in you both pulling a strange face in his direction.

"You're awful, man." Jungwon shakes his had at Sunghoon, but the way he's trying to hide his laugh contradicts his disappointment. Jay joins the three of you walking after he finally gets Riki off his back, now going over to bother Jake who lets out upset whines.

"I'm joking. Sorry for admitting kids falling over is a funny concept." Sunghoon's honest never fails to prevail in conversation, you've seen him laugh at children falling over with tears dripping down his face.

"You do realise admitting it's funny insinuates you aren't joking?" Jungwon raises his left eyebrow at Sunghoon, who shrugs and moves on to go and talk to Heeseung instead, who was more inclined to agree with his take.

Riki moves on next to you and drags you over to the punching machine which was enveloped by prizes of different prizes, all won through punch strength.

"Want me to win you a prize?" He asks and you miss the fact he was being completely serious, so you chuckle at him. You turn to look at the others who have taken to the water gun game and are loudly screaming as they shove each other away from their stations.

"What, on the punching machine? You can try but I'm not sure your muscles are big enough to even get that pack of candy." Feeling bold, your hand goes to wrap around his bicep through his jacket. A light blush litters over your face when he disproves your point without uttering a single syllable.

"Oh yeah? Maybe you should have more faith in me, I've been a gym rat for the last few years." He takes hold of one of his jacket sleeves and removes the jacket from his shoulders to reveal the vest he had been wearing underneath.

Yeah, he'd absolutely proved you wrong.

Riki pays the guy the price for the machine, then punches it as hard as he possible can. Unexpectedly, Riki pretty much matches the high score which directs his eyes to the ginormous teddy bear that he could afford free of charge.

Just for you.

For the first time in years, you remember that feeling you had been pushing back all those years ago.

This was the first time you had ever experienced a fake friendship with someone, a few weeks before Riki would be telling you that he was leaving.

Yuna was always a good friend of yours, she was slightly older than you, but she never treated you like you weren't as mature as she had been. She wasn't necessarily excluded from your friend group, but she had her own friends and really only hung out with you rather than your friends.

"It's honestly so weird. All of her friends are boys, don't you all think that's a little strange?" Yuna's voice is heard by you from around the corner and you decide to hide behind the brick wall and listen in before you say hello.

"I mean- not really? She's friends with you and I think she's really lovely. I don't think it's all that weird, Yu. You shouldn't talk about her like that." Her friend Chaeryeong replies, seemingly concerned with her friend's comment.

Weirdly, you have a strong feeling you know exactly who she is talking about.

"I think she's just a little, I don't want to sound mean but, desperate? I mean come on, there's seven of them. She must think at least one of them is going to have a crush on her. Easy." Her voice is filled with venom and you hear a few giggles come out of others that were around her.

Not wanting to hear what anyone else had to say, you find yourself hiding away in one of the isolated blocks in the school. Tears stream down your face and you shake as you question what you could have possibly done wrong for her to judge you so awfully.

If you had known she was simply jealous, maybe you would have felt less insecure. A squeak comes from the rusty door and you rapidly try to wipe away your tears before whoever walks in would see you in such a weak state.

"What are you doing in here? Why are your eyes so red?" Riki's face drops when he sees you, his dark hair falls in front of his eyes and bounces as he jogs over to lean down next to you.

Your first fall-out is Riki's first time seeing you so distraught, it tugs at his heart and he isn't sure how to deal with it. Sure, he's seen you mad and upset, but he's never seen you cry. If he realises anything while looking at you, it's that he never wants to see you cry again.

"It's- it's nothing. I don't want you to worry yourself." More tears fall down your soft cheeks and Riki moves his hand forward to wipe them off your face. He doesn't think someone like you should be crying like this and selfishly he doesn't think he deserves to see his best friend crying either.

"Of course I'm worrying. Are you okay?" He watches as you pull your knees up to your chest and you lean into your own touch.

"Do you think it's weird that I'm only friends with boys?" The way your eyes had become so wide when you looked at him broke him, you were taking all of him in, waiting for an honest answer. Riki couldn't believe that you were questioning your friendships over something so small.

"What? No. What kind of question is that? Did someone say something?" A crease appears between his eyebrows as they furrow, so lost in why this had become an issue for you. He can't help but to pick at the pout of your lips with the tips of his fingers to make you put it away.

When you don't reply, Riki doesn't speak either. He holds you in his arms like his life depended on it. That was the first moment you knew you felt differently to Riki than your other friends, that you wouldn't mind spending your life in his arms.

When you come back to the present, Riki is holding out this teddy bear to you with the most beautiful smile you have ever seen. You’re taking him again, you’re thinking about what it’s like go be in his arms forever.

It truly is your fault this time. You're the one taking everything back to square one and you've never seen Park Sunghoon so irritated with you before. He forgets ever having a soft spot for you when he looks at you with the angriest expression.

You hated to admit it, but after coming to the conclusion that you had romantic feelings for Riki, you had been avoiding him for the last three days. It wasn't your best decision in life though you had no idea what to do.

So, you turned to your straight-forward friend Sunghoon.

"You're an idiot, genuinely. What the hell is wrong with you? You're going to put him through hell, didn't you want to become friends with him again? What happened to starting over?" His feet take him around your living room aggressively and you sit staring at the ceiling, feeling too nervous to look him in the eyes.

"Instead of calling me names, can you help me out here? I don't know what to do, what if he doesn't feel the same and I mess it all up again?" Your hands fall onto your face with a loud slapping noise.

Finally, you look up at Sunghoon and his face tells you everything you needed to know. If you carried on ignoring Riki's existence, he wouldn't be your friend or a romantic interest. Either one is better than none.

"Look, I love you, you're amazing- but this is the stupidest thing you've ever done. The party is tonight and he's probably too busy wondering why you're suddenly paying more attention to Jungwon's ice cream rather than him." Once again, the man is correct.

After Riki had got you the teddy bear (which you were cuddling in your arms in that exact moment) you had become a blushing mess and could barely bring yourself to look him in the eyes. It wasn't hard for Sunghoon and Sunoo to catch onto, Sunghoon nudging your arm when you had started questioning Jungwon about unnecessary things while Riki was right next to you.

You were so, so scared. What better way to avoid your feelings by avoiding the one that had caused them to blossom?

"You are getting this sorted tonight. I don't care how it ends, you're both getting closure on whatever this is because I can't stand this weird tension going on between you both and I don't know how long it will be until you both crack." Sunghoon’s words simultaneously break your heart and make it beat 10x faster.

You had no idea Riki was sat in his room staring at his phone wondering what he had done wrong this time.

Jay's house is filled to the brim with party decorations, alcohol and people. You wonder how his parents would even allow this, then you question wether they even know about it. Honestly, you're sure you don't know some of the people here and you have no idea where they've spawned from.

You haven't seen Riki yet.

Sunghoon's words had been playing in your mind since he had spoke. In fact, you had been looking for Riki the whole time so you could sort it as soon as possible, tell him the truth, allowing him to enjoy the rest of the night even if his possible rejection could ruin yours.

You've downed a few drinks to release your nerves, soon finding the boys and a few others playing beer pong. They all don't seem too drunk,

on their feet successfully, until your eyes land on Riki who is stumbling all over the place.

Deep breath. You walk over to him.

"Riks, I'm sorry- talk to me." You pull him into a more isolated corner to avoid people listening into your conversation, though Riki pushes you away lightly and glares at you.

"Fuck off." He slurs and you step back in shock which causes you to bump into the wall. It's not like you had ever seen the boy drunk, for all you know something else could have bothered him, "I said- I think I'm gonna throw up.”

He turns around and makes his way upstairs and you follow closely behind him both to finish the conversation and take care of him. He leaves the door unlocked, so you walk in and see him leaned up against a porcelain bathtub.

Jay's parents liked their cute, but strange, antiques.

"Riki, please stand up. I need to get you home, you're too drunk." You're trying your hardest to pull the boy up out of the bathroom, but he only falls back down onto the side of the tub. You resort to giving up, sitting on the floor in front of him.

"You know I came back for you right? I- fuck I'm actually gonna be sick." He stands up, mostly stumbling, then sits down in front of the toilet instead with his back pressed against the wall. Turning around to face him, you've barely processed what he had said.

His eyes are beginning to fill with tears, he brings his arms up to rub them away.

"What do you mean you came back for me?" When you lean forward to rub the tears from his eyes, which he surprisingly allows you to do, you almost get deja vu.

"I could have stayed in Japan, I had everything I needed there." Like he had sobered up, he no longer needs to throw up anymore and theres no slurring in his tone, "But I didn't have what I wanted- you. I don't think you understand how much I think about you, every single day you were there in my head. It was torture knowing I couldn't have you and that's why I stopped talking to you. I put myself through so fucking much just because I fell in love with you and couldn't do anything about it."

"You can't do this to me."

"What? You've been ignoring me for the last three days and I can't tell you that I love you? I had to get it off my chest." He scoffs, going to stand when you try to drag him back down, "You know what-"

"I'm in love with you too. I was scared. That's why I was ignoring you. I thought pushing you away would stop it, but it just made me feel worse."

You let it all out.

Riki hesitates, but soon moves forward so that his face is only inches from yours. He looks at you in the eyes, both filled with love, desire and fear. The amount of alcohol you had both consumed only reduced the anxiety slightly, but it doesn't stop him from leaning forward to close the gap.

it's merely a small peck for a second and you both pull away from each other. The separation doesn't last long when Riki pulls you to stand up with him, his hand reaching for the back of your neck to connect your lips again.

Your back is pressed against the bathroom door, hands wrapping around the back of his neck and his falling to grip onto your hips. When you close your eyes, the mixture of alcohol and Riki makes you dizzy and your legs shake, though his hold manages to keep you standing up-right.

"I'm sorry for telling you to fuck off. I didn't mean it." He mumbles against your lips, pecking them one last time before pulling away from you. Though it doesn't make the warmth he gave you part from your body.

"It's okay. I think I deserved it."

The next morning, you wake up in his arms — where you had always wanted to be. This turned out to be one of your favourite things to wake up to.

"I can't believe I moved all the way to Japan when I could have just been in your arms the whole time." Riki's hand rakes through your hair softly, stopping every so often to move the hairs out of your face.

"You're so cheesy. Why were you never this cheesy usually?" You both laugh, you’ve been messing with the necklace he had been wearing for a few minutes, trying to fixate on something other than the nerves that had been building.

"I wasn't dating you back then. I'm not going to show the world that I have a weakness." He says, manoeuvring his body to face you, he was blushing just as much as you were.

"And suddenly you want to?" You smile, he smiles back happily.

He doesn’t respond, continuing to soothe his hand through your hair. For once, the two of you don’t need to communicate with words, something you both seemed to struggled with your whole life.

Like a scraped knee, you had always placed a bandaid over it instead of tending to it properly like you should — when you finally decide to, it heals a lot faster.

[sugar-phoenix]

Intro + Masterlist 📖🌱✒️

take two on my big intro post

Introduction

Hello! I'm sugarphoenix (you can call me sugar or phoenix) and I'm a writer and aspiring author from the US. Here's the basic rundown:

19 years old

she/her pronouns

aside from writing, I am an aspiring UX/UI designer. I hope to one day be a pioneer in the industry.

feel free to tag me in anything! I enjoy being tagged in tag games, even if I might not have the time to get around to all of them.

Genres I often write in:

fantasy/romantasy

animal elements i.e. at least one character is an animal shifter/has animalistic traits/characters are compared to animals metaphorically

finding oneself in the mess

dark fantasy/ethereal vibes

You can also find me on ao3 with the same name + here's my kofi if you ever want to tip me <3 taglist: @ashirisu

Current WIP(s)

The Blood That Bonds Us: A fantasy novel that can be succinctly summed up as Rapunzel with Red Riding Hood elements; where Rapunzel is also the Wolf, and the Prince is also Red Riding Hood.

Summary:

There is a prophecy in the kingdom of Venatoria that a Black Wolf will rise from the forest and bring destruction and a new reign to the kingdom. Because of this, generations of royals have hunted down and killed most of the Wolves that reside in the surrounding forest.

Prince Rhydian's father was no different, and he died in a hunt when Rhydian was only a child. But now Rhydian is no longer a child, and he's old enough to prove his worthiness to the crown and possibly take the kingdom back from the greedy crown regent, Alaric. Alaric, however, sets a heavy task for the prince: he must go and rescue a maiden that has been locked in a tower by a witch near a neighboring village. Many young men have tried and failed to rescue her, and the witch is ruthless. But Rhydian will do anything if it means he can reclaim his father's crown and throne.

Daciana has spent all her life in a tall tower. She is protected and held captive by the witch Dame Gothel, who found her in the forest and recognized her for what she is: the Black Wolf. Dame Gothel doesn't hold back on telling her this, and Daciana knows of her fate. She is a monster, a bringer of destruction, and one of the most hated enemies of Venatoria, who are blissfully unaware of her existence. Daciana doesn't feel like a monster, and perhaps life outside the tower isn't that bad, despite what she's been told. But although Dame Gothel has done all she can to keep Daciana within the tower, it's often ill-advised to try and fight destiny. And it will only be so long before the beast is freed from her prison.

CHARACTER TAGS: #♚ . rhydian / #✧ . daciana / #◦ . vincent

This is my main WIP, and the one I'm working the most on.

POSTED WRITING

Blood That Bonds Us Snippets -- screenshots taken directly from my scrivener that give you a little peek into the first draft

Chapter 1 snippet -- snippet of chapter 1 of the first draft

rhydian. -- short character exploration for Rhydian

mourning your captor, your only mother -- short snippet of Daciana's POV (spoilers)

Fanfictions

As of 6/22/2024, any further fanfiction will be posted on my fanfiction blog @sugarphoenixlovesfanfic !!

Fandoms that I'm in:

Honkai Star Rail

Wuthering Waves

My Hero Academia

Deponia

Honkai Star Rail Fics

the new barista -- a super short drabble about a college au in which Dan Heng is the cute barista at your college's cafe.

Death of a Cowboy -- in which I rewrite and expand upon Boothill's past.

𖥔 . overheating . 𖥔 -- Boothill overheats in your getaway vehicle.

cowboy, you have a hard time wrapping things up neatly. ✦ -- Boothill is loud and messy but he grows on you. One day he does something unexpected.

I think I'll take my noodles spicy -- You stop by Jiaoqiu's stall to try his noodles. They are very. Spicy.

My Hero Academia Fics

unfinished hawks x oc fanfic (ao3 link)

"there's this thing I want to say to you" -- short fluffy drabble about Hawks confessing his love to unnamed fem character

Deponia Fics

maudlin -- a short fluffy fic that expands a scene in Deponia Doomsday (spoilers)

All fanfiction can be found under the tag #✤.fanfics .

Short Stories / Miscellaneous

All my writing can be found under the tag #✎ . writings

drabbles in red

complete short stories in pink

Masterlist:

she was a monster (monster) -- short drabble that uses experimental writing

Flash Fiction Friday Prompt "On The Edge" -- short drabble that follows the prompt. it may or may not be somewhat connected to "she was a monster (monster)."

I wrote that one tumblr post -- i wrote a couple of one shots of that one tumblr post with a crow and a cat being familiars and trying to find their witches.

dagger queen -- exercise where I write a drabble using two prompts. dark fantasy/romantasy vibes.

un-satyr -- COMPLETE short story about a satyr who is different from the rest.

vampire x poisoned werewolf -- COMPLETE (?) short story about a vampire and a werewolf putting aside their differences (and perhaps getting a bit too close) in order to save one of them.

cherry red -- flash fiction about a girl and what she leaves behind.

my roommate is a vampire -- currently unfinished short story about a college roommate who is, well, a vampire.

Writing Challenges

2024 November 50k Words Challenge

dividers by cafekitsune!

[skyfallscotland]

Writing Advice: tips, tricks & helpful links, from your friendly neighbourhood fanfic author ✨ (part one—the advice)

see part two—the resources here

I've mentioned this before, but I truly believe no one's born a great writer. A great storyteller, yes. A great writer? That's learned. I've been reading and writing basically as long as I can remember. Learning to write is like...learning through both practice and symbiosis. In saying that, I get asked about this a lot, so here's what I do and some things that might help you.

Write what you're inspired to write, when you're inspired to write it.

So you have an idea—great! Are you a plotter or a pantser? Some people like to start with an outline, others just jot down a few notes and let the keyboard take them where it will. I'm in the latter camp, generally. For me, the best way to avoid writer's block is to write what I'm inspired to write, when I want to write it. Sometimes I'll write five chapters of a story at once, others I'll switch between a multi-chapter and a one-shot.

What's most important for me, personally, is that I don't try and force anything. If you suffer from demand avoidance, the worst thing you could possibly do (in my opinion), is set arbitrary goals. You don't need to write 500 words a day. If you want to, great! If that helps you, also great, but in my experience, that will generally just make my brain say well no, now we're not writing anything for a whole week, maybe a month, if you test me.

I also personally like to have a whole fic written before I start posting it online, or at least most of it written. I like being quite far ahead of what readers are seeing because I am a pantser. It takes the pressure off and honestly, there'd be so many plot holes if I didn't. Which brings me to...

First make it exist, then make it make sense, after that make it good.

What you see me post is not my first run-through. It's not even the second. I've written, read over, and changed things at least a handful of times before ever posting it, especially when it's a multi-chapter work. Sometimes I'll write a scene I love and then realise it just doesn't flow well, because three chapters back I had someone say a certain thing. In that instance, I'll put the scene aside.

Note that I said 'put aside' not 'delete'. I never delete them until I'm finished with a fic and I'm certain I won't need them, ever. Been there, made that mistake for you! Having a separate document with just various scenes you can insert at a later date also helps you to feel like it's ok to write what you want to write when you want to write it. I'll be honest, I jump around a lot. Sometimes I'll be inspired to write a scene I know isn't coming for another five chapters, but in my opinion it's best to just write it because when I get there five chapters down the line, I might not have the inspiration or I might have forgotten how I wanted things to go. Write what your brain wants to, fill in the blanks later!

Write from the heart.

My most popular work is the one I find the easiest to write and I almost never wrote it at all. Isn't that ridiculous? I almost never wrote it because I know it's cliché and excessive, and honestly...looked down upon. I almost didn't write it because of other people's opinions; then I said fuck it, I want to read it so surely there's someone else out there that does, too? Turns out there were thousands of you. Who knew?

But that work has really resonated with so many people and I think that's because I've poured so much of myself, my pain, my own experiences into it, into her. For that reason, I'd tell anyone starting out to try original character fic if that's what they want to do. Fuck the haters. All their favourite works were original characters once too.

Don't read similar fic while you're writing yours...unless you need to.

Let me explain. If I'm writing a certain type of alternate universe, or a certain storyline I know someone else has written, I won't read theirs until I'm done if I can help it, especially not if I'm actively writing my take on it. This isn't a hard and fast rule, it's obviously up to you what you feel comfortable with, but I would never want to have someone else's work influence my own too much, or get our ideas confused in my head, you know?

An exception to this rule, for me personally, is if I'm stuck with specific things in particular, like smut. When I wrote my first smut piece from a male POV, I was struck by the fact that I had no idea what an orgasm felt like for them, or how to describe it, because despite reading M/M fic for years, I apparently never absorbed that particular verbiage, so I went looking and read a whole bunch of smut from the male POV just to get an idea. Which leads into...

So you suck at kung-fu fighting.

Action scenes. I'm convinced we all hate them just as much as each other. I hate them so much I've changed whole plotlines from canon just so I don't have to include them. Unfortunately, my main fandom features a bunch of knife-throwing, sword-wielding, dragon riders at a war college who spar for clout, so I mean...it's unavoidable.

I still suck at writing it though, so what I now do for sparring and other hand-to-hand combat is search up youtube for sparring videos or self-defence lessons. It's much easier to describe what you're seeing than to imagine the mechanics and positioning of an artform you've never performed. The kung-fu thing was a joke, I like capoeira personally.

Stop being so damn hard on yourself.

Listen, everyone wants to be better than they are when they start out, literally everyone. I know I sure did. That's normal. Accept that it's normal before you start because the thing is, no one's a harsher critic on you, than you are and you'll always want to be better. There's a quote from Ira Glass that I'll paraphrase:

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap[...]It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit."

It's very true. Hopefully you have the support of a really welcoming fandom to reassure you that actually, you're nowhere near as bad as you think you are.

READ. BOOKS.

@justallihere says you can’t be good at something you don’t know anything about and it's so true, I've phrased it before as learning by symbiosis, when you read more, you'll internalise more. You're subconsciously learning how story structure works—plot hooks, transitions, metaphors and similie, grammar, style and punctuation.

Show don't tell.

...yeah this one I haven't mastered, I could use some help with that myself if anyone's got any words of wisdom, thanks.

Take all of this with a grain of salt.

I couldn't tell you how many writer's advice threads and blogs and whatever-else I've read over the years—too many, for sure. What I can tell you is 80% of what I've read was crap. It doesn't apply to me at best and it's unhelpful at worst. Maybe it's the neurodivergence, maybe it's just the fact that everyone's different and all you can do is give things a try, but based on that I can say with certainty that not all of this will work for you and that's absolutely fine! But I hope at least a few things do 😌

For links to more specific resources including thesauruses, generators, and other writers' advice, click here.

[greenaswildfire]

I was thinking... (spoilers, spoilers everywhere)

the writing decision of focusing so much on the fact that Aegon's parts were burnt root and stem is probably related to the future alliance with the Baratheons, right?

If they don't change it (lmao), almost at the end of the Dance Alicent comes up with a marriage pact, this time with Aegon instead of Aemond, and Boros's daughter. But with Aegon's inability to produce heirs, how will that work now? Will this alliance still hold?

Oh well, they'll probably use it as an excuse to justify Boros betraying the Greens. Because nope, if TB is betrayed, the Greens must also have at least one betrayal to make up for the huge difference of loyalties :)

In terms of important Houses I can't remember any house betraying the Greens (Great Houses, not others like House Peake or Fossoway). I consider quite curious how, in terms of Black side, House Arryn and House Stark took their sweet time to help them. These two Houses pulled a Late Lord Frey, way before Walder frey was even born lmao

And it's not even secret that Rhaenyra's mother was an Arryn, everybody knew House Arryn would side with the Blacks anyway, the realm knew House Arryn would be a rebel House and still, Jeyne Arryn is shown as very cautious, letting Rhaenyra fend for herself instead of helping her. (Can't blame her though, she was probably the only actually smart woman in this show who wasn't butchered by plot in order to prop Rhaenyra up)

And I won't even mention the Starks. With the reddit leaks I'm very, VEEEERY curious to see the reason behind this late help. Everything depends on whose version will prevail, Condal's or Hess's.

If we take these two houses into account, we have: Strong, Stark, Velaryon, Arryn (and maybe Blackwoods?) betraying the Blacks for their own purposes, not to mention Rosby who made very clear Rhaenyra's hypocrisy, but I doubt they mention anything about this House, right? :D

And when it comes to the Greens... only the Tullys and the Brackens (but as far as we know, their leader was burned by Daemon for refusing to bend the knee, so maaaaaybe they won't even remember them in S3?).

5 (maybe 6) vs 1 (maybe 2), woah, quite a difference in loyalties, even more considering how the Green side has always been the one with less support and dragons.

The thing is: iirc, the allies that betrayed the Greens weren't motivated by distrust in them, or the crown's misdeeds against them (like what happened with Arryn, Stark and Velaryons in TB). It was due to circunstances and manipulation tactics, otherwise, they would have stayed loyal to the greens.

Team Black NATURALLY doesn't inspire loyalty.

So they thought "how can we balance things and make the Blacks look like they inspire more loyalty than the greens???? Oh! How about find a way to shake the Green alliance with Boros Baratheon? Between a Green eunuch with a crown and Rhaenyra's two boys, Boros has more chances of power with her than with Aegon.

Condal, Hess, you can't fool us. We can predict all your moves.

Such a shame though, because by the looks of things it won't even be someone from TG who is going to kill her (if that ever happens in this fanfic of theirs), is most likely someone from TB itself because they simply have no enemies anymore.

Which is far worse PR move for a team who loves to boast about "how Aegon was poisoned by his own allies" :) Hackondal and Mess are stuck with this ending, unlessss they bring back Sunfyre and follow the book. But Rhaenyra, killed by a TG? Naah, it wouldn't be tragic girlboss enough for her. I place my bets on TB.

[eww-y-tho]

Debby Downer here, but I only have one true complaint for S3.

I WANTED TO SEE HOW THEY FIRST MET.

(idk how the books went with their first meeting, but I personally would enjoy it like this. this is essentially my fanfic of how I wanted it to be used lol.)

This is really where the 'show, don't tell' rule rears its head. I understand it would be hard to do, you would need permission for child actors to play the part of Penelope's head covering smacking Colin and him falling to the ground. But you could easily do a quick cut from the head covering flying off from the wind kicking up to some impact sound effect and then a closeup of a hand or foot falling on the ground without actually making the kid fall off the horse. make the covering land somewhere close by so that what happened can be easily interpreted.

It could be really seen as a transparent film tactic to work around the problems with child actors, but it would still at least give us a reference point to their closeness. They mention it twice and go in excessive detail. We needed something to get us to really feel the sweetness of their first meeting and just how special they were to each other since the beginning.

I would shave off the market scene to be like "Do you remember when we first met?" "Obviously, especially the part where I apologized. Why are you bringing this up now? I thought you would have forgiven me at this point." (<- in a sweet/humourous tone) "W-Well- you were teasing me so mercilessly, that it's still fresh in my mind. And do you know why? You were so very charming about it" so on, and so forth.

Then, instead of the frankly stupid balloon scene, I would have Pen wear a similar head-covering during the same event, and Pen wouldn't notice while it flies off in the scene where Pen is trying to win Debling with Cressida and Eloise. Colin would be closer to them and it would smack him in the chest, he would smile, and walk up to return it. Colin wouldn't say anything and Pen would flash her heart eyes at Colin before they would return to their conversations, and Debling would look at her with his "I'm catching the sus vibes" eyes.

Now, personally, do you know where I would put the flashback?

Right at the scene where Colin remembers Pen at his writing desk before going to go to the ball to get Pen from Debling. We would have swelling music (with no other audio) going from the scene where Pen grabs Colin's hand in ep2, to Colin grabbing her hand in s2 in the "come with me" scene, to the back-and-forth shot from when Colin comes back in s2, to Colin grabbing Pen's hand in s1 when she's trying to convince Colin about Marina, to their stare at the "what a barb!" scene, to Colin grabbing her hand to dance in ep1, and then we would have their first meeting.

Have the scene have abruptly no music and a hazy filter like the flackbacks from previous seasons. Start with Colin riding his horse, and then do the two shots, like I said, but have Pen laughing really loud once he falls before covering her mouth and being like "Sorry!" and then he laughs really loud and they both cackle for a bit before Pen quiets down and starts ribbing him about his perceived bad horse riding skills. Colin just keeps laughing until there's a closeup of Pen's face as she looks at Colin. While he gets up she blurts out that her name is Penelope and then he says his name is Colin and then that's where it would end. Colin gets up from his desk, yada yada.

The bad horseriding comment would make Colin's engagement party speech so much cuter, and paired with Pen laughing and then everyone staring at her and being confused about the inside joke would really hammer that part of the scene down as foundational to their relationship.

OH OH OH AND THEN have a continuation when Colin opens the first letter to a cut where, after the whole thing happens, Colin looks at Pen with some awkward silence and he smiles as Pen hesitantly walks away and Eloise approaches her (this is really starting to sound like a fanfic now lol). Smash cut to "Yours Truly, Penelope" and then adult Colin smiling at the letter and the scene is now like 10x more emotional.

Also, you know the scene in ep8 when Colin is staring at the wall while brooding before Pen tells him about the Cressida blackmail? In another flashback, where Edmund died and the news hit everybody, Colin is locked up in his room and Pen goes from comforting a crying Eloise to knocking on Colin's door.

He would get up and open it, looking miserable. Pen would jump to hug him and There would be back-and-forth shots of them both crying silently. Bam, another cut to Colin almost crying as he stares at the wall before Eloise comes into the scene. That would just add a little bit more oomph to Polin's relationship and would make the impact of LW hit harder, IMO.

I'm still happy with the season, but I think that's the one fault that I am still not enjoying about it. I think it was just a bad choice to not carve out some money from promotional stuff for these flashbacks, and I think the romance suffers from not being able to see that. Idk, maybe I'm tripping.