#assigned female at birth

[wronggalaxy]

I'm genderqueer and AFAB but wish I was AMAB(especially since medical transition isn't a possibility for me) and I find it hilarious when people say "you should be grateful, if you were AMAB you'd have to sign up for the draft"

Hun, I'm disabled in multiple ways, currently have a long term injury, have seeked mental health help, and even outside of my disabilities couldn't pass a fitness test. I couldn't join the military if I wanted to.

[spiritstar477]

I desperately wish I could feel like a woman, be a woman. But instead I’m whatever the fuck I am and I can’t do anything about it

[lemme-just-oops]

How would.at boys react when they swapped bodies with MC for a day?

Alpheratz: He feels exhausted, but in a different way than usual. Usually he is exhausted because hiding his powers does get draining, and if he shows his power, people just put expectations on him. But in your body, he feels weaker, more fragile. It does frighten him a little. He tends to avoid everyone, even you during the day, in an attempt to hide it all. Will talk to you in the evening on how to get back into his body though.

Arcturus: Try to convince yourself that he does not have the time of his life and realize just how wrong you are. He puts on your most comfortable outfit and if you have long hair, you know he styles it with braids. Though, everyone gets told that you two changes bodies, which could be a safety hazard, but he really enjoys it. If you have a chronic illness, he does his best to analyze it and tries to find ways to lower the amount of inconveniences it causes.

Pollux: His greatest concern is how much you usually eat, because he eats a lot of snacks, but your body may not enjoy that. Other than that, prepare for him to constantly touch his new face, because he never understood how different skins can feel. If you are AFAB, be prepared for him to go through your closet and experiment with skirts, dresses and bras. And the damage he does to your hair might be beyond repair... He feels guilty, but not ashamed.

Sirius: Have fun trying to get your body back. He will procrastinate on reversing your bodies for as long as possible, and because his skills at reading people and acting have been trained for decades, he knows how to convincingly act like you. Your daily routine is no secret to him and your only chance to make him hive your body back willingly is to destroy him at his own game. Ruin his reputation.

Spica: No. He has a little big crisis about this, because the amount of time it took him to feel comfortable in his body is cruelly long, and now he has to get used to another one. While he freaks out on the inside, he attempts to follow his daily routine. Barely explains the situation to anyone, but he urged you and himself to find a solution immediately, because he does not find it comfortable being in another body. And you might get stressed when you hear the requirements he has for you while you are in his body.

Vega: Please tell him to stop acting like himself in your body, because he traumatized seven students already. And he recognizes the problem, but he refuses to act any different. Because that is your body, your life that he interferes with and he has little interest in changing anything about it. But he is curious why people treat you so kindly compared to him? He thinks it is because of your beauty and not because he acts so coldly and distantly. But he did take the chance to hide little notes and compliments in your room, just zo make you smile when you find them.

[chiegetseven]

When you grow up seeing female archetypes in the media, there are some that get left out of feminist discourse. Namely "best girl". Anita Sarkeesian never talked about the "best girl" archetype in Feminist Frequency (although she did break down the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope well. I've only ever heard "best girl" used by men/boys/AMAB NBs (assigned male at birth non binaries). In part, I think, because that's who most of the "gamers" I know are and certainly most of the gamers involved in online gamer culture spaces. "Best girl" is complementary and usually describes a female character who is actually more well-rounded, more realistic than the other female archetypes in games. Mostly negative or damaging female archetypes from games are discussed in feminist discourse.

I think it's a problem with how women or AFAB (assigned female at birth) people are socialized because it happens with interpersonal relationships too. Women often cherry-pick their negative experiences and feelings as the topic of conversation with girl friends, or fem spaces, when discussing their romantic relationships. I even find myself doing it. Sometimes it's a healthy outlet for venting frustration but I think it also has some very negative consequences. (The following statements are primarily about discussions of benign relationships, abusive relationships and the behavior around them can look very different from this and I'm not wading into that right now. If you are in an abusive relationship, please seek help from an organization near you. If you are scared your abuser will find out, go to your local library, you can say you want to get a book or attend a community event. They have computers and knowledgeable staff who will be happy to help you find resources and are not required to report patron interactions.)

1) girl friends and anyone else receiving the gossip (and I know that is a hot button word but I'm not just going to call it "the tea" because everyone knows that's the same thing right now but they might not in 5 years) get a lopsided impression of the relationship being discussed not only because they're only getting one side of the story but because that story itself isn't even the whole story for the side that's telling it. This issue goes beyond women and is more of a human condition issue. As they say, "misery loves company", in this case meaning that when people are enjoying themselves, they want to soak in that feeling and are not driven to express their feelings but when they have negative feelings they want to get them outside of themselves. But AFABs are socialized to do more of this. So when things are going well in a relationship, people may just say "oh things are really good right now!" or maybe even some details of things they're doing with their partner, but when things are going poorly, the immediate response is to analyze and rehash every detail like you're planning a strategic military operation and say all of the negative stuff you wouldn't say to your partner.

2) because women have this "vent" for frustrations, they might not actually try very hard to change the situation by talking issues out with their partner, leaving their partner at a disadvantage because the woman has not spelled out the issue clearly enough for the partner to change anything. There is an addictive quality to this behavior, and there is a social payoff too in that AFABs can get a lot of mileage out of pity without having to do anything. AFABs are often socialized to downplay their successes and so if you're happy and you share it with your friends, hopefully they're happy for you, but if you're upset, they get upset with you and it creates more of a bond. This is not a "trauma bond", a trauma bond happens between the victim of abuse and the abuser. But it is bonding over trauma, and that can reinforce learned helplessness.

3) this reinforces stereotypes about women and men even though contexts have changed significantly in certain ways. While men and boys historically had the advantage in work and academics, as well as other fields, women and girls have been out-performing men and boys for over a decade. There is a book called "Of Men and Boys" by Richard Reeves that discusses these issues in a truly well-balanced, well researched, and effective way. There are still disparities in wealth and emotional labor, and obviously the threat to women's reproductive rights is terrifying and is a tool to take away these gains. But the average AMAB actually faces more disadvantages in school, particularly if he/they are also a POC (person of color) or poor. So while the men in power, usually men who have held powerful positions from before the social shifts of the last 2 decades, are absolutely belligerently advantaged over women/AFABs, the average man/AMAB does not hold the reigns of society, he has the bit in his mouth, he is enslaved by Late Stage Capitalism. And the anger men and boys feel at being enslaved is often redirected from the actual cause of their problems to the women and girls they see surpassing them, and they feel there is insult added to injury when women talk about them like they are subhuman. That isn't an excuse for violence, but it is important to recognize where we really stand.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[alphie-in-the-sky]

[wingerb17]

Things "The Little Mermaid" taught me as a small kid who grew up afab:

-Find a guy with a dog, they're clearly the best guys out there

-Learn to sing really well to get the cutest boy

-Don't let my dad find out who I'm in love with lest he be destroyed

-Let the royal servants of my crush dote on me when I'm found washed up on the shore; that dress is the cutest

-Electric eels are the absolute worst

-Horses are very large and I'm now afraid of carriages

-Seagulls make great friends to crash a wedding with

-Learning how to steer a ship will help me defeat evil by stabbing a giant sea monster with the pointy bit up front

[le-panicked-frog]

bro being raised and socialised female sucks so bad on another fucking level. i believe my worth is almost entirely defined by my appearance and attractiveness, including my attractiveness to people i am not actively attracted to and to people i am actively not attracted to/ actively do not want to be attracted to me. i genuinely think i'm unlovable half the time and i'm avoiding mirrors because no matter what anyone else tells me i cannot see myself as being pretty enough or attractive enough, and seeing myself in the mirror currently makes me nauseous because i feel so disgusting and unworthy of love. i hate seeing my bare face, i feel so plain and ugly and horrible and i hate that i feel this way, i hate it i hate it i hate it

so

here's your reminder. you are not defined by your appearance, and neither is your worth. you were not put on this earth to be pretty and attractive, and you do not have to earn love. you are worthy of love, because you were always worthy of love, because it isn't something you have to earn. you don't need to be "pretty enough", you are enough all on your own.

you are worthy of love. no matter what you look like.

[andyinmiddleearth]

Hi, AFAB transmasc that produces extremely low E levels and was forced on HRT here who may or may not be intersex, who tf knows. My chest is very small and certainly looks more like moobs and less like actual 🍈s. It’s important to address that sex isn’t binary and there are so many different variations out there. Around 1% of the population is intersex, meaning they’re just as common as redheads.

HOWEVER, it’s also important to acknowledge that the word “breasts” can make trans and nonbinary people dysphoric if we have dysphoria, (myself included) so we also need to accommodate that which is why it’s better to just say chest. We don’t need to attach AFAB to it though, because even cis men can have gynecomastia, and so can trans women, transfem nonbinary people, intersex people, etc. I’m not sure what you wanted to do with this post, but if this is your way of saying that we shouldn’t use inclusive language when talking about chests then that reeks of TERF so uh. This is not me coming for you but just. Watch your mouth and I mean that in the kindest way possible.

“afab chests aren’t inherently sexu—” please say breasts please just say breasts please please please stop throwing the term “afab” around say tatas say titties say big bahoona bazingoroos if you must

[kael-writ]

I went to a gynecologist at a LGBT+ center, like specifically LGBT+ care, they asked my gender identity and pronouns, I identified repeatedly as non-binary, and they then proceeded to refer to OB/GYN care as "women's health". So cis women can spare me the ... well I certainly don't want to be so ironic as to call it hysterical... fear-mongering that someday a gynecologist might not refer to a cis woman as a woman. You're fine. You will be fine.

[wronggalaxy]

I hate when people say that I don't need to tell anyone my agab.

A) It's very fucking obvious(oh I wonder what could possibly be the assigned gender of a person with boobs and no bulge who goes by Hannah or Belle around multiple people, especially their transphobic family(I swear if someone says not to expose my deadname—it's MY deadname, I'll tell whoever I want, fuckoff)/sarcasm)

B) My agab is a big part of my person and general life

and

C) I am my agab. I'm also a boy and both and neither and sometimes switch all at the same time.

In conclusion: gender is complicated and stop trying to police the way I talk about mine.

*agab means: assigned gender at birth

[spiritstar477]

okay, the idea that some women grow up without constantly hating being a girl and wishing they were different but not knowing how or why is such a foreign concept to me

like you’re just happy?? the way you are?? being a girl is just cool with you?? what’s that like??

[maggieslighte]

Zebra Hope

I wasn’t disagnosed with a connective tissue disorder that affects every part of my body until I was 52! Misdiagnosis and gaslighting have colored 54 years of my life, so what makes my current doctor so different? This doctor took over my care when my previous doctor left town. She was young, and she expressed that she hadn’t had patients with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome before. I shared all of the…

[karengillanslefteyebrow]

Love it when people use AFAB. Is it indicative of your gender? No. Does it give context to some life experience? Maybe. But you know what it DOES do? It lets everyone know that you’re FAB AS FUCK and that’s dope

[annabelle--cane]

stop talking about agab. stop talking about agab. stop talking about "amab and afab experiences." stop saying "afab" when you talk about misogyny. you can say that someone who isn't a woman is affected by misogyny without it being an "afab thing." there are gazillions of women who were assigned male at birth who super duper have experienced misogyny from a young age. I'll kill you.

[citizen-saint]

people who call pre t/transition trans men twinks regardless of if they identify that way or not should be shot in the street i think